Hey, what's up, guys, it's big cat. Before you start listening to this episode, I want to let you know that we're running a special sale on all BASTABLE merch, go to store barstool sports, dotcom and use code podcast for 10 percent off, go to store barstool sports, dotcom and use code podcast for 10 percent off.
On today's part of my take, Mike Rowe, Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, he's got a new series out. We talked to him about it. Six Degrees with Mike Rowe. Very, very interesting interview, an interview that we started talking about jerking off chickens. And it was by far the most turki's the most fascinating way you could do it. Also, he has like one of the greatest voices of all time. So a very fun, different type of interview that we've got for you today.
We've got GameStop Baseball Hall of Fame, Aaron Rodgers, clean up from Monday, hotsy cool thrown. Our darling Jake might have been put into a corner, a charity corner box into a charity corner for swearing on the podcast. And then we finished with guys on ChiX, a great Wednesday show for everyone. Before we get to all of that cash app, go download the cash app right now, use code bar so you get ten dollars for free.
Ten dollars. The ASPCA, the cash app is the greatest app in the world. We're going to talk about stocks in a minute. You can buy stocks on the cash app. You can also buy Bitcoin. You can do it all. It links directly to your bank account. It's super, super easy to use. The cash app is the best app out there. So go download it. Support us support cash app, cash app studio. It's just the best.
It's the best app. Just do it. Just do it right now. Do do us a solid and you get ten dollars for free. Go buy some GameStop stock. Maybe not. Maybe AMC I think is the next one.
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Is anybody the cash app? Go download it right now. Use Code Bar so you get ten dollars for free. Ten dollars to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, January twenty seventh and the weight of history in your hands is heavy. Who said that quote. Was it Winston Churchill fighting Nazis or was it Tom Verducci filling out a Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and leaving the greatest baseball player of all time, Barry Bonds, off of it? That was JFK's inaugural address.
Oh, wait, that's not what the writers can do for you. Ask now, ask not what baseball can do for you, but ask what you can do for baseball. And in this case, it's leaving off four of the greatest players of all time.
So it is Baseball Hall of Fame season. When the writers get their shine, when the writers get to tell you how important their job is to decide the fates of the players, we love to watch.
Which, just as an aside, I don't know why it's up to the writers. It should be the players. It should be players voting peers like, hey, who was the hardest guy to ever get out? How about Barry Bonds? He should go in either way. Tom Verducci, we had a few few different things that happen today. Tomodachi released a video that I'm sad. I'm going to throw it out. There is going to be unintentionally the funniest video of twenty twenty one.
It started it was Tom Verducci sitting in his beautiful sunlit office or study in his house and some, I don't know, probably like suburban Connecticut guy.
And I guarantee you, he just calls that his voting room. He uses quotes here to sit. He sits down. He's got like a specially engraved letter opener that he uses to open up the ballot. And then he sits down with the one with like a quill pen, and he does every year the same way.
And so the video started. We'll put a couple of clips in, but it started the weight of history in your hands is heavy. The Baseball Hall of Fame vote is a triumph in minimalism.
The weight of history in your hands is heavy. Even what it is but one sheet of paper. The Baseball Hall of Fame ballot is a triumph of minimalism. It's a fucking piece of paper, dude. And then he went, this is the best part about the Baseball Hall of Fame in these stupid fucking reporters that think they're the most important people in the world.
He essentially is doing a love letter to a piece of paper and the simplicity of voting via mail, one page, no logos, no pictures received and returned by mail.
And it's like, hey, that's not something we should applaud in today's day and age when you could fucking email your vote in and not have this entire process. He said he was like, yeah, look, Baseball Hall of Fame sends me this. They don't even stamp it because they're cheap and I got to send it back. And isn't that just so fucking pretty? It's like baseball games in the World Series. It's like I think he sits like a hot dog in the bleachers.
It's like none of those things. Tom Verducci, you are you sucked your own dick for fucking six minutes with this video, and I still loved it. Well, it's perfect because day games in the World Series, this is like back when nobody could watch baseball on television, like people missed World Series games because they were at work, like daytime World Series games.
Welcome to the World Series. No batting gloves and a hot dog in the bleachers. There is a timeless beauty in the simplicity. It's been this way since voting began in nineteen thirty six, now you can watch it on TV, everyone can watch and you tell me which is better to him. It's like, yeah, I was only when a select few could partake in this activity. That's when it was great.
The video was it was like the celebs singing Imagine video. It's that video of twenty twenty one. Yes. Where it's that self-important. They should just have, they should have baseball writers like U2 and Bruce Springsteen in the background doing their own version of the imagined video. And it's ridiculous because Barry Bonds is a fucking Hall of Famer.
So he's making a promotional video showing about, you know, like how great this process is while we're leaving off one of the biggest players, one of the biggest parts of baseball history that's ever existed. It's it's ridiculous. And I'd like to ask the writers, how many of you used substances and tools that weren't around for the for the old days of baseball. Right. Do you use the Internet? Guess what? Back in the day, they had to file it using a typewriter.
Sounds like it's easier for you to do. You should be judged against the people that you compete against, not against. No. Basically, they're saying I'm not going to vote these guys in because I don't think they're better than math.
Yes. Readily available espresso shots. I can guarantee you they didn't have that in 1942. Diet Coke. No Diet Cokes, right? Exactly. I mean, don't even get me started with with the Adderall usage of baseball writers. It Enzo Tom Verducci, he goes this whole video. And at the end he has the line. I mean, the fact that he's narrating his own video to is just so funny. He doesn't even realize that part. But he says that's so.
He's talking about the Baseball Hall of Fame in this very important thing. The most important thing, you know, in the entire world is filling out your Baseball Hall of Fame vote, which, by the way, fourteen voters just left it completely blank. Yeah. Which credit to them. That is that is true activism. That is true. Standing up against the man. But he ends it with this whole thing about how the Baseball Hall of Fame is so important.
And he says that's when you truly understand the weight of what you hold in your hands. And then he gets up out of his voting room and he walks in a sun drenched voting room and walks off without even mailing the fucking thing in. Yeah, what I love it. I like that the guys that did not follow the guys are girls that did not put a ballot in the mail and sent back in. They probably just don't care. They probably didn't check the mail and they're going to see it in there like in a month and be like, oh, shit.
Yeah. Here's my Hall of Fame vote. Meanwhile, Tom Verducci is creating like jerk off instruction porn for himself. And I love that he's he essentially made this video because it's something that he would have wanted to watch a baseball writer do when he was growing up.
There's really no market to himself. There's no market for this. It's its future.
Tom Verducci congratulating little Tom Verducci on growing up and getting a ballot for the Baseball Hall of Fame.
And I have to I have to take my hat off to the baseball writers because they were very smart when they started the Hall of Fame, because if you get in on the ground floor, it's like any awards show out there. If you just declare that this is an award show that you're presenting, guess what? You have the power moving forward for all eternity. And so then people just have to, like, market themselves to you and kiss your ass over the course of the years so that you're the one that gets to keep this institution that really has nothing to do with writing about baseball.
They think they like writing about baseball is more of a sport than playing baseball.
Correct. And, Jake, make sure you put this in there. Give us a reminder that we need to make a video sucking our own dicks before the TAIKI awards this year and how important it is. The weight of history is in our hands every time we give out a fake made up award. The other story I saw fifty Mark Craig, who writes for the athletic, wrote a column that was titled I wanted to Know Why I Felt So Crummy about my 2021 Hall of Fame ballot.
So I asked a neuroscientist, this is real. I cannot believe these people exist. I actually am so happy they exist because they make our job so easy. The fact that no baseball writers have even like one percent of self-awareness makes our jobs easier because we can sit back and watch Tom Verducci write a love letter to himself and and jerk off in his boating room. And then we can have a good laugh and be like, what the fuck is baseball doing?
Leave it up to the fans. The fans forget you just you buried it.
What did the neuroscientists say? Did he didn't he have was is there a brain reason why he feels bad? Maybe because you've convinced yourself over the years that you're so important that everybody should look up to you because you get to check a piece of paper. Do they even get a sticker? I don't even see sticker that says I voted on it. Do you know what it is? I could tell you I didn't read the article, but I guarantee you The Neuroscientist's was like, hey, you know why you're having so much trouble with this is because you all made so much money writing about Barry Bonds and how baseball was back when Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, we're hitting home runs and now you're playing holier than thou.
Yeah, that probably feels like you're really shitty person because you are.
Yeah, exactly. You're slapping the people in the face that made you all your money. They got you to this point because if you're at if you're at that point in your career where you're able to make a self documentary about your courageous votes, then you're definitely a guy that was on the come up in the 90s that was just cashing the checks and everybody knew that they were using steroids. This is why they should make the Asterix shaped wing of the Hall of Fame.
There should be, if you want to say like, OK, everybody that played in the 90s and early 2000s, there is there's a looming doubt over whether or not you were on the juice. Just make a room in the Hall of Fame that's shaped like an Asterix and then put all the stuff in there that you have with these guys. Let them in and then see which room gets more attendance, the one where it's like in the dead ball era.
I'm going to go see three fingers more to guys exhibit again. Ah, no, I'm going to go watch Barry Bonds hit a home run 700 feet.
They should actually, instead of making it the Asterix room, it you just say a big sign above it and say these guys fucking rules and you know it. Parentheses fuck baseball writers.
Yeah. Mike Greenberg's dumb rules. We should give more power to baseball writers.
We should actually give them the opportunity to vote people out of the Hall of Fame.
We should actually make them we should pack the court and it should just be only the Supreme Court should just be the baseball writers. Well, I'm just saying, like, what if we made like five thousand more baseball or if you've ever written the word baseball on the Internet boom, you're a Hall of Fame voter.
I have a question for Jake. Ah, darling. Jake, Jake, I know deep down there's been a point in your life where you aspired to be a curmudgeonly baseball writer who decided who was making the Hall of Fame.
Do you still hold those feelings? I mean, yes, you're right.
I my first my first step into the business was as a writer, I was the sports editor for the Cyberspace Circuit, our high school newspaper, but not really anymore because I've positioned my stance to wanting to be a broadcaster.
So I don't really envy the people who are voting.
I envy the people who are calling the big games.
OK, OK, but fair. But Circuit, if you were offered a vote in the. You would take it right, it would be an honor. It would be an honor. It would be. I think what they should do, they should have this be like an in-person ceremony where it's only like the most unathletic baseball writers. So the real heavy, sweaty, like 400 pound guys with suspenders and comb overs, I want them in a room sitting like a jury, and they bring the players up one by one like they're on trial.
And then just these fat slobs have to explain to Barry Bonds or to Alex Rodriguez, like, here's why I'm not voting you into the Hall of Fame and just see that dynamic in the real world at play.
Yeah, actually, you know, what it should be is Tom Verducci has to strike Barry Bonds out to keep him out of the Hall of Fame. Yeah. Or you can't beat him out on the field. Yeah. What about that? Yeah.
What if you give Tom Verducci a knife? Right. We're big into knives and guns in terms of our new rules this week. Give Tom Verducci a knife and then put them like on an acre of land with Barry Bonds and Barry Bonds doesn't get any food or water and see if Tom Verducci can kill Barry Bonds within a week.
I like the most dangerous game, Jake. Tell me this. I just want to make sure that our future is secure, you know, and not naming names. But, you know, at least a couple people from your life is a big journalist that watch that Tom Verducci video. And they're like, that was awesome. Yes. OK, good.
Because I just follow my timeline. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to make sure there are kids still out there that are watching, like Mitch Albom and Bob Costas and Tom Verducci be super self-important and be like that is what I want to be. Well, Bob Costas is super important.
So you forgot towards self self-important, donates money to the Sydney radio station. I got a lot of opportunities at. Oh, wow. So you're he pays you off.
No. Yeah, he that's what happens. They pay off the future broadcasters so they won't say anything bad about him. I do.
I like the idea that there should be a fight, not like a height limit in terms of you're too short, there should be a height limit in terms of you're too tall to vote for the Hall of Fame. So I only want like Ken Rosenthal and Bob Costas, you have to be under five six to vote for the Hall of Fame.
That was actually a good foreshadow because Jake did get paid off. Listen to after the Mike Rowe interview, we did get the donation to the bar stool fund for Jake to swear on the podcast. So make sure you turn it. Tune in for that. All right. Other things you got to talk about. Aaron Rodgers, of course, is staying a packer. That was all for not on Sunday night. Everyone melting down, everyone saying, oh, my God, it sounds like he's saying about it actually proves how ridiculous like Twitter and the Internet can be, which will get to in a second with GameStop.
But one tweet, a couple tweets of people watching that Zoome being like, sure felt like he's saying goodbye. And then it's an entire story. And then he pretty much was like, no, I'm not going anywhere. I was talking about other free agents on the team. I knew deep down he wasn't going anywhere because I think it's destiny for Aaron Rodgers to torture my soul for another decade. But I mean, you don't you you don't think he's going anywhere, right?
I want to believe that he's going I'm going to pretend like he might be going somewhere for this entire offseason and probably four years after that, too, because it's fun to talk about. I like the fact that Aaron Rodgers knows that he's stirring up drama. So when he when he did that interview after the game, he knew exactly how people were going to react. He was like, I'm going to be despondent. I'm going to act like I'm going to treat him like my family.
Essentially, we're all one big family here in Green Bay. So I'm going to act like I'm very disrespected and like I might be on the outs and I might split after this. And then I'll come back and I'll clean it up later. I'll get another week in the news cycle where I'll be able to, like, clarify what I meant.
And then you have to think like the Packers. Would Aaron Rodgers be able to force his way out of town? Probably. I think if you have a big enough dick about it, he probably would be able to. But I you're right. I don't think he's going anywhere. But I'm still I'm going to pretend like I don't actually believe that. And, like, he might go somewhere because it's more fun.
I think he'll just be there forever. And every time that I start to think he's getting old, he'll be like, oh, here's another MVP. I noticed that he did not he did not say that he was not going to become the full time host of Jeopardy. Did not deny that that's true.
That's true. We have yeah. I mean, the other anything else from championship Sunday, I saw that video of Josh Allen being a leader and hugging every bill on the sideline. It made me a little sad. And yeah, I mean, we're we're going to get going for the Super Bowl here soon.
Yeah. I mean, I think that's about the only big story that came out of it, besides the fact that people love to remind us that we were wrong about the chiefs and credit. We wish we were the first to say that we're wrong about the chiefs. We broke that story. There's no need to remind me.
I said it of a quarter and a half into the gate when I realized how wrong I was about the Chiefs. So we own up to our mistakes. We were very wrong about the chiefs and I'm going to bet on the chiefs, although I did kind. Have a moment or did the problem with the Superboy's, with the two weeks, you just have so many moments where you can second guess yourself and be like, oh, actually, maybe I like this better answer to this bet, but I need someone to just hold me to it.
I'm going to bet on the Chiefs.
Yeah, I would. Something I don't think he should. Why?
Oh, Hank wants to bet on Tom Brady. I was thinking about making the biggest bet on my life on Tom Brady before we left Detroit. And but I was going to wait two weeks and think it out, but I think that's where I'm end up.
OK, all right. I like that. Like, if you can talk me into it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that they'll be you into it.
Give us three good reasons to bet on the books on Friday. All right.
OK. All right. Before we do hot sequels wrong GameStop, we got to talk about GameStop. It is the story that is sweeping the Internet right now. If you are on the Internet or familiar with what's going on, here's a very shortened version of it, as far as I understand, because I asked everyone to explain to me like a six year old and I got some good responses. But essentially, GameStop is like a nothing stock. We all know GameStop.
It's a brick and mortar place that sells video games. It's basically a dinosaur. And this one guy on Reddit basically has been like, hey, all these hedge funds have shorts on GameStop for it to go down. I'm going to start pumping it. We're all going to pump it. And every time it goes up, the rich guys have to buy more of it to cover their short, which then makes it go up even more. And essentially, it's a perfect storm where this stock that is essentially an obsolete stock is now gone up from four dollars to two hundred dollars in the span of five days.
Yes. And the big guys are losing all the money. And the little guys on Reddit in the Internet are are robbing them blind, which if you don't love this story, you have no soul. It's awesome.
I love it a lot. And what's happening is they're finding out the message boards and comment sections are there, like the new factories and coal mines of the 21st century. So Wall Street is Wall Street just now figuring out what athletic directors in Lane Kiffin have known for years, which is that like you, you cannot write any sort of federal regulation that's more powerful than just a group of people who love to post on a message board. And they're getting they're getting fucked over by it, which is perfect for GameStop because GameStop is actually the king of.
Oh, yeah, your copy of Donkey Kong country is worth fifty cents now, so.
Right. I know you paid a price for it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So I love it. I love buying stuff like people are buying stocks as a joke and it's actually fucking over entrenched Wall Street billionaires and distributing. Oh they're, they're taking money from the very rich and giving it to the poor. So basically like the libertarians have, Reddit have invented taxes.
They're doing they're just taxing people. And I fucking you. How can you root against the people on Reddit right now? Is there a reason why is there. No, they shouldn't be.
Are you their hero? Almost. No, I'm not the only thing. The only thing that makes me nervous is a stock.
I'm cynical one guy. I think it's just headstands.
Yeah, I'm cynical about all this. So I assume that eventually the hedge fund guys will have so much money that they can wait everyone out and fuck everyone over. Like, I feel like they always win no matter what. Even if this is it's a win the battle, lose the war type of situation. I don't know enough about finance, but that's my that's what I'm nervous about, that the little guy is winning right now, but the big guy always wins.
But maybe I'm wrong and maybe they'll just take this fucking place down and it will be incredible. It's like the end of your favorite book, though, Big Cat, The Big Short, when they're like I read it in the movie. I don't know if you've seen the movie. They did make a movie about it at the end of the movie. They're like and all the people that were involved in this got arrested and they did time and they changed the entire way that like the financial shit is structured and something like just kidding.
Nothing really happened. I feel like one guy. Yeah. Yeah, like that. It's the same type of thing where it's like it should change things, but it just they're going to figure out a way to just pay their way out.
So I saw that there was one dude that has so much exposure to it that there's like a pretty big hedge fund that if it gets it right. No, no, there's a different one where that gets up to like a hundred and fifty dollars a share. Two hundred. What's that?
Billy was a Billy Melvin Melvin. If he gets up to like one hundred fifty dollars per share, this entire hedge fund is out of business, which is it did after hours. They're so far exposed to it. Yeah.
So what will probably happen is there's going to be one hedge fund that goes out of business like Bear Stearns or whatever, and then they're going to come back, rewrite the laws. So it's going to be illegal to talk about stocks online and then, boom, now now they're fucking you again for the next hundred years, but they make you feel like you've won this one.
But even that Melvin hedge fund, I saw that Steve Cohen and another guy put in a bunch of money into it to try to save it. So they essentially now own Melvin. And that's all it's going to happen. It's like the even richer guys are going to come over the top and. They're going to win more than anyone, but the only thing to be said is that Elon tweeted out the Wall Street bets like he's the richest guy and he's trying to he's kind of siding with with the rebels where he is an Internet commentary.
Elon Musk is the first he's a to become a billionaire. Yeah.
Yeah. He's got some pull. He's got some pull. So I kind of hope that it keeps going up. I mean, I love this. Can we do this with another stock?
I guess if we say it Amazon, then we can't. Oh no, no, not Amazon, AMC, AMC. No, stop, Billy. Billy's like Billy, of course, saw this, didn't understand what was going on.
Hey, let's just buy Blockbuster, but it shorted Billy Block is cheaper. No, but leverage really.
You're you're missing the part where it was someone shorted it right there. So that when are you telling me that someone has shorted Blockbuster. That's worth forty cents. Yeah. Way more.
Who. Somebody. That's that's how that's what its definition is dead. We can still revive it. I mean, who out there is actually buying stocks of Blockbuster not shorting it? I'm pretty sure that exactly. Yeah, I don't know.
I listen, Billy is not a financial adviser, despite what you might think about him.
I think that maybe there's a lot of people that have shorted Under Armour. I still have a lot of Under Armour stock from when I bought I bought a shitload of underarmed stock just because they came out with ugly shoes for Steph Curry back in like 2016. So maybe get that rumor going out there, like very heavily leveraged on the short side and Under Armour, Beroza, like that jumped off.
I just do when I. Yeah. When I asked people to explain it to me like I was six, someone told me, I think we kind of invented this idea. Well, we didn't because it happened before. But someone said to me, ESPN tweets that Mr. Bishkek's Bad Bears fans tweet, he's good to change the narrative and make ESPN look bad. The more people that tweet Robiskie is good, the more pressure ESPN faces to tweet. He's good.
At the end of the day, ESPN is forced to tweet. Good about Robiskie. That's the MVP. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Exactly what we did.
We didn't keep we forced them to give an award to it. And we squabs, we squeeze out Drew Brees and it was like his forty second birthday or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly you're right. That's actually a very good comparison for this. Whatever, whatever happens I we have to get in on one side or the other. I can't just sit here on the sidelines of history and not pick a side where I put my money.
I think, I think I have to buy. I think they're forcing me to buy GameStop.
We can't we can't be twelve right now. That's fine. Can't be on the side of the fucking hedge fund. These guys are the worst. I'm going to buy their say in the read it, I mean, I was reading a lot in the Wall Street. Let's read it today. And like, they're all like, you know, get to a thousand, Holtville. A thousand.
Yeah. You know that there's like some short saying where they live is the second that, like, my dentist starts asking me about a stock is the time that I know I'm supposed to sell it like the cabdriver start asking about a stock or something like that. The second sports podcast, start talking about a stock. Oh, probably the right time to sell it. But you know what?
Fuck it, I'm in. But you on when I ask that point. Well, yeah. When I asked on Twitter, explain to me like a six year old, a lot of people explain this to me and about half the other people are like, well, now it's over. Like we've reached. If Big Cat tweeted about it, it's the Dow. Yeah, it is. It is officially over. You're like five days late. Dude, the party's over.
Thanks. I am I am the marker. I'm the closing bell of when the party is over. You're not going home.
I tweeted about it. I think I am because I thought about buying some and I know it's going to go down right away.
I think that once Magic Johnson recaps the day's news on Twitter, at that point, it's time to unload.
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OK, my hot seat is presidential dog Twitter accounts, you remember back in like 2016, there was a that's when the like we rate dogs and the racism dog got into a big online dispute over who was more racist. Well, these dog beefs are back in a big way.
So somebody started a Twitter account called the Oval Office, get it and set an office with a park. And they tweet out statements from Joe Biden's dogs, like referring to their humans as they're humans and using other, like, fun little dog slang like that. Seems like it's fun, right? Well, guess what? They're in a beef right now with rival Twitter account at the first dogs and at the first dogs. Their account is dedicated to the first dogs of America.
Champ and Major Biden are humans. Protus and FLOTUS are heck and awesome. Right? So you might wonder, hey, these two cats should be on the same side here, right?
Like a rising tide lifts all boats. Not the case. The Oval Office had to issue a safety announcement about their rival account, actually excuse me, a safety porn, intimate friends. The first dogs pretends to be a White House affiliated park. Count our out. They have a White House dot gov link in their bio and made it look all very serious. We notified Twitter safety and other relevant White House humans. We have never been mean canines before, but this is impersonating a PA official institution.
It's wrong. Like fooling humans like that is wrong. We know from trusted sources they are not in any way, shape or form associated with the White House. So there's it's real out here on the streets. This is going to get ugly. I think that I stand on the side of the account that is pretending to be the official account because at least they have balls enough to be like saying, yeah, we're the official account of these fucking dogs.
And the other is like saying we're just here to have fun pretending to be dogs and it ruins the mysticism of it. For me, if you're going to try to be the dog, be the fucking dog.
Yeah, treat like the dog all the time. You have to do that. Right. It's up there with the baseball writers are infatuation with the first dogs.
Yeah. Stupid shit.
They're heckling good wolfers and my cool throw is dead zoo animals. Oh that's Hassoon way too.
Because we've got Prince, we've been waiting on we've been waiting for someone to fill up the gorilla sized hole where our hearts used to possible ever since 2016 when Harambee was taken from us way too soon.
And I think we have it. No, I think we have it. Hank, it's move fast. The Lion Force of the lion.
He died, right? All right. We move faster. He was in the Singapore Zoo. Right.
Saving the children. No child, no even even better than that.
So, you know Cecil. He did. Yeah. They're best friends. They're pen pals. And they they announced his death yesterday by announcing the birth of Morphosis son, Simba.
They say they turned it into a life announcement, being like we have a new cub, Simba. It's named after Disney's The Lion King. And it was conceived with semen from the father Maphosa. Then they added on that move, Fossett died during the ejaculation procedure when he was accidentally electrocuted by the pride that they stuck up his ass to make them come.
So Fossett Fossett died getting his prostate zapped and his his sperm was it was maintained and they gave birth to his son just the other day.
If there's any justice in this world, this son will just mull all the fucking hell he'll grow up to. Just mourn. Oh, no, no.
He'll Bukovsky everyone Trainor's so to do.
Yeah. He's just going to nut all over them. So Semba is it's it's the continuation of Rufus's seed. And I think that we should all respect the fact that he went out.
It's the ultimate high. Well they're definitely going to be some people that try to chase this high. That's going to be the new autoerotic fixation. Like instead of being David Cassidy and hanging from a noose while you crank off, it's like just stick. Just stick this electric fence wrapped around a baseball bat up your ass while you come and just let it go from there. So, yeah. All right, Pumphouse, we're thinking about your buddy. That is that that's a pretty valid.
Yeah. Valid replacement. I know we should sell T-shirts or maybe Trojan Zukowski.
Well, I'm just I'm more interested. I'm going to try and keep up on Semba.
You know, he's the chosen badass. Yeah. We've got to buy some baseball cards. Semba, it is funny. It's hot in the streets. It is funny that my father died and got, like, thrown to his death. And then Semba is the new Lion King. That's exactly what's going to happen. Simba either just come all over them all the time or he's going to kill all the trainers.
Yes, absolutely. I mean, that's that's some angry jizz. Yeah. He was made out of. Yeah.
What if it what if it really this is like the new X man that's born. He's got like electricity in his body. Yes. Yes.
All right, Hank, you're hot sector.
On the hot seat is Billies boy Jose Canseco. Hmm.
So, Caleb, Caleb Presley, our coworker, went out there to do like a Sunday conversation and they sent a camera guy to film because we're trying to get like footage for a video. And he tweeted yesterday, we've had a camera guy in Vegas for five straight days now waiting for Jose Canseco to train because Jose Canseco isn't training. So I think I think he's on the hot seat.
Oh, listen, I believe that's rat poison, Billy. He's training. So I talked to I talked to Caleb yesterday. Billy, I he's training. He's just ducky. He doesn't want to be film training.
Oh, I think he's just so that it's a lot different.
No, I think he's I think he's just so slow, Billy, that like you're going to have to beat him with speed because the scouting report that Killed gave me was he is very, very big and he was scared about his size. But there's no chance that he has the speed to take you down. Yeah.
So I knew I was going to outmuscle, if you know, if anything. So I've just been training speed, punch output, that sort of stuff, you know, footwork move. Yeah. Yeah. Like movement. So I'm going into the final reveal too much, but I got a plan going to fight. I got so serious stuff. That first video that I released to me fighting was legitimately for my first week of sparring.
OK, there's everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face and I've been punched in the face several times. You need to let one of us punch you in the face just to get.
Yeah. Let me ask you this, Billy. So rough and rowdy, Billy versus Jose Canseco is coming up next Friday. It's right before the Super Bowl. We're going to be in West Virginia. I've been thinking about this. You are my champions. So I am obviously rooting for you with all my heart if you were to lose, because we have to just throw these things.
So if you were to, like, get knocked out, would you be upset if I laughed? Because I think my reaction will be to laugh.
If the thing is I'm not going to I've been punched in the face by a lot more athletic, stronger guys than I was. They can say go at this point of his life.
And I didn't get knocked out. I got knocked down, OK? I didn't get knocked out. But if I lose, it's going to be by I'm not going to get knocked out in the first thirty seconds, like, you know.
No, no, I don't think that's either. I don't I don't think that that either. I was just trying to play it out in my head because, like, I'm going to be announcing the fight. So my reaction is going to be very natural. Whatever I was thinking about it, I was thinking about it. And I think if you got knocked out, I would be very I would be worried for you and feel bad after the fact.
But in the moment I laugh and be like, woops, I was a bad idea. I'm still going to slap fight.
Yeah, of course. You're not going to recuse yourself. No, I have to fuck it. I'm going to give a call and just call Hosea's scumbag.
Look, right right now I've like been no funny business, like totally hyper focus on this fight. And it's sort of clouded me. Like I had no idea what was going on in the rest because I was also in quarantine. So I was just super hyper focused on this. And I am going to kill this guy like me.
I like being in isolation, punching stuff and working out.
And just like, have you come, I'm. Two hundred and ten, come on, 210 pounds and five pounds of it seem. Are you coming or are you. Oh, you are. You're not coming. I'm not coming. You're going to back up. I'm real back up.
What if what if we're out?
I think it's actually an urban myth. Billy, I work some of this up before my fight. No, no, it's really, really we talked we talked to Teddy Atlas. He said that the best prizefighters he's ever been around, they save it up and then they drink it right before they go.
Yeah. So what we what we got to do what I've actually been studying it. Tyson Fury. He was going seven times a day, but you go seven times a day until the last week.
Then you stop because so you before you add your body, you isolate your body.
No, I'm not saying. But this is what the science says.
You isolate your body to high emissions and then you have zero emissions and it builds up all inside of you. And then you get angry at everybody around you and try to punch things.
Yeah. Because you're dead wrong. That's why you're pissed off. Well, I mean, look what happened to me faster. He came and he instantly died. I can't have that happen in you.
I cannot nothing is going near my prostate at all, ever. So that's out of the question. Good.
Look, I think what we should do is we should we should make a title belt for this. And it should be called like Jose Canseco is a swollen rat. And then even if he wins, he has to hold up. The Jose Canseco is a swollen rat.
But yes, I like that. I like that. Wait, where are we? Oh, hey, you drew your cool drug. Cool Accutron is Florida. Why they know you know what, that's good enough.
All right, my hotseat know is they they want to host the 2020 one Olympics this summer if Tokyo bows out.
Sure of that. Just give her tell Florida they're getting everything. My hot seat is the NBA security. Did you guys see the Bam Kyrie Jersey swap that went down, which is highly illegal in today's NBA? Yeah, it was very funny. They essentially had to do it like it was a truck deal. And the NBA security is now on the hot seat because Jersey swaps are not allowed, but guys are finding a way to Jersey swap. So we need to figure out how we can stop these players from playing 48 minutes against each other, sweating all over each other, breathing all over each other, and then doing the absolutely ridiculous thing of swapping jerseys, which is that's how you spread coronavirus.
Oh, wow. Yeah, he put it under his shirt and he's walking off the court.
He's like, I don't have anything. That's a tough look for the NBA and the protocol. Yeah, yes. Very tough.
And my cool drone is hardbody 20 21 because we've delayed it. I just want to let everyone know people who are trying to get in shape this year, hardbody. It's going after the Super Bowl. I've been stuck in a casino for six days. I've been eating candy. I've been living inside of a casino. It does not it's not conducive to hardbodies. So I'm doing it. So if you haven't started, don't worry. You haven't missed anything.
February, what's the Super Bowl? February 7th, February 7th, Super Bowl. Yeah, I'ma be in the gym February 8th. And you won't you won't see me out of the gym until my body's heart.
There's there's a gym in the old HQ that is going to get extensive use, OK?
Not not by me. I will not be going to that gym, but hook up because I have to walk there. Yeah, I feel like hardbodies are a shower. I'm not about the hardbody lifestyle, no, but we should just stack up a shitload of dude wipes you manually. Having a hard body I don't think goes with the rest of this, you know?
Well, it's it's more it's I mean, let's be honest. It's going to be hard. It's going to be just less soft, so less soft. Body 2021.
I want to maintain my hug ability though in order to be hospitable. You got to be a little bit soft.
Yeah, I was going to get stronger by hot seat is been and he's officially fighting Jake Paul in a boxing match. But Aspirin's not a striker. He's an NCAA wrestling champion. So if he gets knocked out by DJ Paul, it's going to be really disappointing. And Jake, Paul is going to continue to have a fraud boxing career.
I have a billion, Jake. Paul loses a new win. It's there. Exactly. It's an eclipse. But Jake, Paul picks guys who have zero reach, by the way. One hundred percent beat the shit out of Jake Paul.
He wouldn't touch me, but Jake, they didn't save that for after. Yeah, he's got to win probably after. Yeah. Cut the problem.
Like, even if I'm the only way I lose tickets, I go no fucked up silly Billy. Billy, you got to see. What Hank is saying is when you beat Jose Canseco, if you lose, I will laugh whatever. But when you lose, when you beat him, that's when you say I'm calling out the Paul brothers. That's what you do.
It never they'll never me. I actually would beat them. They only choose guys they know they can destroy me. Absolutely. That's the only reason they wouldn't fight you. Floyd Mayweather is fighting.
Yeah, I know. I know. I know. But like, the only reason they're not fighting Billy is because Billy's too off. I was know seriously, if I was if I was five to zero reach but like jacked and looked athletic, I probably still wouldn't fight.
Well, they still be like we could totally beat this. Still wouldn't fight, you know, they still would be like, ah, you're you're part of my taking turn. Right. Right.
I'm not going to I'm not going to become a totally fuck. I do whatever I do love how it looks online. And you even have to admit this, that when you see a headline on like TMZ being like Jose Canseco to fight barstool sports, in turn you're like, yikes, that's a tough look for Jose Canseco.
Yeah. You just you should never be you should always like well, you know, eventually when you graduate college, you have a full time job, whatever you want to put. I think part of your contract should be that you have to be referred to as an intern forever.
Yeah. Just so we can like that something people with this shit, we're like this, like our school intern. It's like a it's like a it's like an eighth graders. It held back five. Yeah. Yeah. It's like this is are you red shirt and gray shirt it. Yeah. OK, but is it cool.
Thrown at the syllabus. So I had another one.
Doesn't sound like you have one. All right. Let's get you caught when you're shaking. Yeah. Yes.
I've caught all of them several times. It's actually quite easy when you like them. OK, so not that sounds so bad.
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Oh OK. We now welcome on a very special guest. You know him from Dirty Jobs, you know him from being the voice of discovery many, many years. You know him from Shark Week about fifteen years ago. You know him from QVC. You also should be watching his new show. It is Mike Rowe. He has a new show out. It's called Six Degrees with Mike Rowe now streaming on Discovery plus. So I was watching some of the previews and the show is.
Far as I understand, is very daunting. You basically were like everything is connected in the world. I'm going to go back in history and figure out that connection. Do you think that's kind of an overachiever move? Like what made you do this? Because that seems daunting.
Yeah, we were swinging for the fences, you know, from the promotional side of things. But in reality, I needed something to do during the lockdown. And and I thought, you know, Dirty Jobs was a rumination on work. Somebody's got to do it on hobbies, returning the favor on decency. I wanted to do something around history, really for people who would never watch a history show. So I thought, well, what if we just identified two seemingly disparate points in the context of a really ridiculous question like can a horseshoe find your soulmate or can a mouse trap cure your hangover?
Or How did a volcano redeem Eminem's career? Right. The more preposterous the better. And then take an hour to take a deep dive down the YouTube rabbit holes and find at least six links that can actually get us from point A to point B. The thing about the show that made it fun for me anyway, was we throw everything at the screen, right? Animation, archival footage, puppets. We recreate the launch of the Hubble as well as the San Francisco earthquake with puppets just because we can actors and rean actors, some of whom aren't all that talented, wearing costumes that aren't very convincing.
Sometimes in wigs that don't really fit, doesn't matter. Hired my my my old buddy Chuck, who I went to high school with great actor who portrays thirty five or forty historical figures. I love it all.
So we just it's a hot mess of stuff designed to illustrate the incontrovertible fact that all the information in the world is now available to everybody online. But never before has it been grouped up in a chronology that is so seemingly insane.
That's really interesting. Yeah, it's strange because until you just kind of pitched that that show, I hadn't really thought of it. But a few years ago, I think we were speaking with somebody maybe at the History Channel about doing like a Wikipedia wormhole thing for a Wikipedia club that was like along the same lines where you just follow the links around the Internet. And it is fascinating how everything's kind of tied together. Can you go back real quick in a mousetrap?
A hangover? That's the one I'm interested in. Sure.
I mean, spoiler alert. The only way to really explain how this thing spills out is to sort of just tell it to you. But, you know, Kyra, Machsom created the first repeating mousetrap about 250 years ago. He also created the light bulb and a thousand other things, including the Maxim Machine Gun and the Maxim machine gun change, the course of the the First World War. It killed so many people so quickly and made so much noise and was so easy to conceal.
The allies didn't know how to deal with it. So they took a tuba, a giant war tuba, about 20 feet long, and they pointed it at the ground and it identified the sound waves of this gun, as well as from artillery. And by using sound ranging, they were able to identify where these guns were. Well, they also learned that with sound ranging, you could identify where oil deposits were. And now suddenly a guy named Kaczor comes along and winds up using this technology to create Texas Instruments.
And the next thing you know, we're creating the germanium chip and Silicon Valley comes along and the whole race for making things small gets big. And at the same time that's happening over at Stanford, the guys who are working on it are experimenting with lysergic acid, which, of course, is LSD. And we take a whole side trip on what happened to LSD and how that fueled the counterculture, which ultimately impacted our decision to leave Vietnam. When we left Vietnam, a guy named David Tran happened to be on one of the boats and David Tran went on to create Sriracha, a hot sauce that makes any Bloody Mary taste a whole lot better than it otherwise would.
And so when you have a Bloody Mary with Serratia sauce in it, the odds of you getting rid of your hangover exponentially better. But of course, it wouldn't have happened if higher. Machsom hadn't created the first repeating mousetrap.
Wow. So you did it.
Is there a part of you when you pitched this show, you're like it almost is calling your shot like I'm micro my I'm so successful. People like me so much, I can pitch this that like I'm just thinking if anyone else pitched this, they'd be like, all right, dude, get out, get the hell out of here. Maybe get a little bit of focus before you come back with your pitch. But you're like, I'm micro. I'm going to pitch this and they're going to love it.
And it's going to be a great show. And you don't even have to make the show you, just like, yeah, they accept this, isn't that crazy? You know, I'd I'd love to say, based on my incredible wit, charm and persuasive ability, I sold it in the room, but I didn't. What would I mean, all that happened. But the pandemic also happened. And suddenly networks were like, we don't even know how to make a TV show anymore.
And I had a sponsor who was willing to help absorb some of the risk. So I put in some money. The sponsor picked up the slack and I was able to make the show before it found a home and that changed everything. And so then, you know, I went back into the room and showed it around. And rather than having to pitch it the way I just did to you, I just said, just watch it. Right, done right.
And if you dig it, you know, I got five more. If you don't, I'll find somebody else. So, yeah, I, I wasn't really calling my shot, although I like the way I felt when you said that. It's more about I mean and this was part of the pitch too, not to be earnest about it, but Dirty Jobs was a tribute to my grandfather, a guy who could build a house without a blueprint.
Right. And it became a rumination on work. This is a tribute to my dad, a guy who taught American history to high school in junior high school kids for 30 years. And he said that to me years ago. He's like, look, my job is not to present the facts. My job is not to inform my students. My job is to make them give a damn about topics they otherwise wouldn't. And ultimately, that never changes, you know, when it comes to history today, everybody's got a different version of how they like to believe it.
And so I do, too, but I don't make any pretense about it. I just say these things happen. Charles Newbold invented the iron plow that led to the agricultural revolution that impacted ba, ba, ba and all we got. So all I'm doing is taking facts that aren't in dispute and putting them in a chronology that nobody's done before and then saying, well, there you go, six degrees. It's the TV show.
I mean, it's also genius because it's a comment on where we are as like a country where you're like, you know what? People probably aren't going to be reading history books. Let's make a TV show out of it.
You're smart. You're ahead of the curve.
Well, I'm also looking around and seeing people today convinced they can change our present by altering the past. You know, you can pull down all the statues you want. It's not going to change the facts of what happened. We can improve the future by, you know, shining up the past. It is what it is and how we let it impact us today that matters.
Like if you if you look at history the wrong way or if you look at look at it through an angry lens, well, you're going to have people knocking Lincoln off Mount Rushmore. But if you provide some sort of context and force people to see what happened, not in the context of some historical timeline, but rather in a way that impacts your neighbor and everybody else, then it becomes relevant. And then maybe as a fake host, I get a little bit more permission to go a little bit further than I otherwise would.
To me, it sounds like you sat down. You're like, I'm Mike Rowe. I have the best voice in America. I could I can literally read the encyclopedia and people will tune in and listen to me read the encyclopedia and it worked.
That's the great part about it. And honestly, I think I would probably listen to you read. Yeah, probably the dictionary. You've got a very soothing voice. And I read that you were an opera singer. I don't know if you still if you credit that for your narration voice or if the narration voice came first and then you worked on your singing voice afterwards.
But it seems to work very is a very crooked road. You know, I had it I had a stutter when I was a kid, but my voice also changed early when I was young. I sound pretty much at eleven years old, like I like I do now. So serious in its own right, like an eleven year old boy. Everybody wanted to brown with a deep voice. It was weird, man. I mean, I, I really went from a guy who talks like this to a guy who was like, hey, how are you?
You know, and it's just it was very strange. But yeah, you know, the opera was the thing. If you want to see something really weird, I'm sure you have access to the Internet right now. Google Micro reads phone book, OK, and this is like, I don't know, ten years ago, somebody said, I'll give your foundation a check right now for twenty thousand dollars if you read me the phone book, because I think it'll help me go to sleep.
So I recorded the phone book and I put a chunk of it on YouTube and it's still gets passed around once in a while. And yeah, I mean, a lot of weird things, but sitting there for a few hours recording a phone book, you know, at some point you got to look at yourself in the mirror and say, hey, dude, what what happened to you?
Yeah, you're basically like the only fans accounts with feet pictures, but it's your voice. Everyone's, you know, getting turned on your by your voice. You should start and only fans where you just record things behind a paywall, you could, you know, retire everything.
So you mentioned your foundation, your foundation. Mike Rowe Works Foundation. I love the idea of this. So for people who don't know, I think most people have seen dirty jobs. But dirty jobs wasn't just a TV show, something you kind of enacted in real life. The idea that blue collar work, trade school, these things are important. Not everyone is built, you know, or wants to go to college. You know, these are important jobs that need to be done.
My question for you, of all the jobs so you've done, you know, 300 plus dirty jobs, have you ever thought about podcasting? Have you ever thought about the trade pi? Are we a dirty job? Because let me just throw this out there. Right. We come in here on a Sunday. We watch twelve hours of football straight. We gamble on every game. We eat disgusting, you know, food that probably isn't great for you.
And then we record a podcast at midnight. I would contend that's not much different than being like I think one time you you were like a reindeer dentist. Like, what's the. This is a dirty job, this is a hard job, wouldn't you say? Look, you'll get no argument from me. I think all jobs have the potential to become dirty, you know, depending on how broadly you define the term. But it's the it's the sameness of a job that in many ways can ultimately make it dirty.
If you do that thing you just described that 12 hour day, you sit there, you watch football, you eat cold pizza, you forget to take a shower, do that three, four or five, ten days in a row, 20 days, a hundred days. That's when, you know, that's when your brain starts to change. And that's why I don't care how glamorous it is. In fact, I know glamorous. I know fashion models.
It's disgusting. Their job is disgusting. The things they wind up having to do over time that you would never think about are our opera. Singing is disgusting. The costumes you have to wear, the sweat that they smell like a hockey outfit. You never know it. You're sitting there watching the opera and some guys up there wailing away. He smells like ass, man.
I'm telling you, I've never encountered a professional opera singer in the midst of a performance who smelled any better than an athlete at the end of the fourth quarter.
Yeah, I mean, we had to watch sixteen jets games this year. I challenge you to watch the Bears offense. A more difficult job in America than that. Yeah.
Hey, man, I still remember the day mid-March. Nineteen eighty four I guess it was was an eighty six when the Colts left Baltimore.
Mm hmm. That, that for me, I mean since this is still you know, you guys are basically a sports thing, I'll tell you that that changed my relationship with organized sports forever. You know what? Watching those Mayflower vans leave Baltimore in the middle of the night headed for Indianapolis, I I've never been able to watch a football game or any organized sport the same way since. So sounds like this is the dirtiest job you need to come and shadow us for Sunday and see how it ranks against all these other dirty jobs you've done.
Look, I'm I'm I'm actually fascinated by your your podcast and your job. I, I do a podcast is very different from yours, but you can say smart.
You can say smart. You're so smart.
I mean, I was going to go with prescient, important, enlightening. Well obviously important but also game changing.
Yeah. And apocryphal with apocryphal but also short.
You do like a short form podcast which I think you know, like we essentially do like 20 of your podcasts every single week.
So we work harder, you work smarter, which goes against your whole thing, which is work smart. Yeah. Your white collar podcast. Yeah, exactly. So we're really down here in the shit.
Yeah, but that's it. This is the only thing you guys do. You know, we read a lot of mock drafts.
Yeah. Yeah. I also watch college basketball. Come on. You must be exhausted. Yes I am.
We're going to get back to Mike Rowe in a second before we do Jack Pocket Jack Pocket Jack Pocket. You know what tonight is?
I think tonight's Mega Millions drawing. Is it Mega Millions Powerball, one of those, too?
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If you are someone you know has a gambling problem, call one 800 gambler, one 800 gambler. Check it out. Jack Pocket Promo Code Barstool at the checkout screen. What's the dirtiest job you've ever seen? I remember the one where you sex chickens. I know Billy wants to hear more about that, but to me that was that was one of the dirtiest ones I saw you do. But in your mind, what's the dirtiest job?
Yeah, well, there were three hundred, you know, and honestly, I mean, I get that question a fair amount and I normally just spend like they're thirty of those three hundred and ten percent that are on a wheel of filth in my mind. And when I spin it, it doesn't matter which one it lands on. They're all honest answers to that question because you can't compare chick sexing to castrating baby lambs with your teeth and you can't compare that to hanging upside down on the back of an old bridge.
Six hundred feet in the air welding. And you can't compare that really to opal mining in Coober Pedy, Australia, where you're lowered on a bosun's chair into a 60 foot shaft. That's about the width of a manhole cover. And you can't really describe the claustrophobia that washes over you as you look up and see that little tiny dot of blue gets smaller and smaller and smaller. You can't compare collecting semen from a turkey really to anything.
In fact, that's it right there. You have a picture of Turkey. Come, I have a poster. Do you want to hear honestly what that job entails?
Yes, I imagine jacking off a turkey. Yeah, that's it. But jacking off a turkey, that's that's child's play.
I mean, I don't know what's in your mind's eye, but the first thing you have to remember is that the turkey's penis is inside its asshole.
Oh right. It's called a cloaca. Yeah. And typical of most avians. And by the way, the process I'm about to describe is the reason everybody gets a turkey on Thanksgiving. There would never be enough turkeys in the country. Right. There are too big, right? That's right. They can't get together. Yeah. To actually do it the old fashioned way because they're full of steroids. So they're just they're big so they can't mate. So what you do is you take one like that and you put it upside down between your thighs and you and you squeeze it a little bit and then somebody hands you a.
They are like just a little jar, it looks like a baby food jar and the lid on the jar has two holes in it and inside of each hole is a straw.
So you hold the straw in your free hand and then you direct your attention to the cloaca on the upside down turkey between your thighs. And then with your thumb, you start to stimulate the cloaca in the time honored tradition that all males are no doubt familiar with. And if you do it right, the orgasm that runs through the turkey will allow the semen to collect in its rectum.
And then what you do is he comes into his own ass jar. What a mask. No, he comes into his own ass. Oh, I thought you said you wear a mask.
No. Yes, he ejaculatory he's upside down ejaculates and the seam and then puddles like a disappointing spill of milk in its in its assal so it's on its way.
But in nature how does does he then have to like open his asshole up and then go to ask with the female with the hand.
Well they, they actually face each other in nature and then they roll back and the lady parts smash into the asshole of the male bird and all of the spoon Élodie gets transferred through some miraculous way. It's very difficult. I mean, it's yeah, it's kind of a miracle that there's ever been a baby turkey born when you consider the fact that they can't actually, you know, it's it's not the typical in and out thing. We're very imperfect German pornography thing we're talking about here.
Yeah, this this hits a little too close to home when you're like, yeah, their breasts are too big in their dick is in their asshole that you look directly at me when you said that. So I was like, shit. OK, well I have to sit on your lap with a little baby food.
That's basically what it is. You play the cards you get so, you know, the odds are against it in the first place. But anyway, you got a turkey upside down between your thighs. His rectum is full of spunk. You take the jar with the two straws and what you do is you put one straw into the rectum, right into the sperm, and they put the other straw in your mouth. And then you start sucking, did you get real quick?
Did you think while you were doing this, like there's got to be a better way to.
Oh, I have my mouth. Yeah, the thought went through my mind.
You know, it's the 21st century, guys. Maybe there's a tool that is a bit more sophisticated than a jar with two straws in it. But what you do is you create a vacuum in the jar by sucking on one straw. Right. And then you manipulate the other straw into the turkey's rectum. And as that vacuum intensifies, the sperm will come through the first straw and collect in your jar.
And when you get all the sperm out of the rectum, you spread your thighs and the bird falls to the ground and flies off to boast and brag with the boys. And then they bring you another one. And then you do the same thing again, the thumb, the straw.
And this goes on for a while until your jar is full of sperm.
And then you take the sperm from the jar and put it in these little pipettes, and then you put that into an injector gun and then they bring you the hens and you go ahead and put that through there, which you call the vulva and you pull the trigger and boom, you got a pregnant turkey.
So. All right. So I would imagine that one was one where you're like, I don't I couldn't imagine myself doing this every day. Is there has there been a dirty job where you think back and you're like, you know what? I actually really enjoyed that and I could do that for a living.
Sure, I remember. You've been in New York, surely we were sitting right now. Yeah, now, yeah. You're in New York right now. Correct. Didn't help. Have you noticed the wooden water towers? Yeah. On top of virtually every building. Over five stories. You know, if you haven't once you look for him, that's all you see there everywhere. And those wooden water tanks hold all the water for the building there on the roof.
Right. Because gravity gets it to a whole lot faster than if you had to pump it up. But the tanks have basically been built by the same company for the last 120 years called Rosenquist, and they need to be replaced every 20, 30 years or so. And these guys have the contracts on all of these tanks. So what will happen is at nine o'clock, you know, the apartment and these people go to work, these guys climb to the roof and they one piece at a time disassemble these tanks.
Now, some of these are up 30, 40 stories. Right. And you're at the very, very top standing on a wooden platform that you're ultimately dissembling and then they build a new one in the same day. And the the teamwork and the the speed with which these tanks are replaced day in and day out is is a mix of like Construction 101 and Cirque de Soleil. These guys are just death defying heights, doing man's work in a in a real team oriented fashion.
It's a it's a marvel to watch. And I had a ball doing it and was glad to go home with all my fingers attached because there are swinging axes and malls, you know, 150 feet in the air, balancing on one foot.
I mean, it's it's incredible to see. And I really had a good time doing that.
Those are those are the coolest because those are you think of, you know, where we're at as a civilization and you just take all these things for granted and you don't realize, you know, someone's fucking a turkey, someone's building an entire water holder on top of my building while I'm at work. And that's where the army comes in. Whoa, look at that.
That Turkey changed my career. That Turkey still calls. Yeah, OK. Hey, man, when are you coming back to Minnesota? I, I miss your fancy opposable thumbs. Yeah. The best lay I ever had.
Did you, did you request a picture of that turkey just so you could always, you know, remember your day with it, that Turkey is seared into my retina.
So I really don't need a picture, but a friend of mine did blow that one up. And so, yeah, I keep it on the wall to remind me that no matter how weird my day gets, you know, I could be jerking off at there. It could be stranger.
Do you find yourself getting an itch for that stuff when you're not working on a new project? When you're not out there doing something like your new show, are you like, man, I really want to get out there and get my hands dirty? You know, it's funny.
I just got off the phone with the network, actually, and they're they're open to rebooting the whole thing. And I'm I'm really of two minds, you know, I don't think I don't think I could do the same show the same way and nor nor what I want to. But I do feel like it's a good time right now to get out there and and do another show about essential work, whatever that means. Right. Because I don't think it means what we think it means.
And I think people would welcome a new look at what people do in the course of making a living. But the thing that I miss most and the thing I've been able to do in this new show. So I guess really I don't miss it. But the important thing wasn't the specifics of the job. It was the way we shot it. And it was having a behind the scenes camera that never stopped rolling. We never did a second take on on dirty jobs.
You know, what you saw, for better or worse, was what I saw as it happened. And that's the trick in my world. You know, in nonfiction, if I can if I can shoot a show in a way that makes the viewer feel like they were there with me rubbing that little turkey hyne right there with me, then that's what matters, right? It doesn't matter if it's a history show. It doesn't matter if it's a squishy Facebook show like the one I'm doing now called returning the favor.
Doesn't matter if the viewer feels like they're there with you, then you get you get permission to do damn near anything you want.
Yeah, there was always something that I really enjoyed about dirty jobs, which was you're taking sometimes outrageous subject matter, like jacking off a turkey and you're but you're treating the work that's being done with a lot of dignity ultimately and shining a light on on people that, you know, sometimes might be looked down upon because maybe they didn't go to the same school as somebody else. Or maybe it's not the job that everybody dreams of growing up. What was what what was the.
Ah, I guess what I'm asking is like when you were getting ready to do the show, how were you making sure that the spotlight was was on the right places and it wasn't turning it into like a a cartoonish sideshow at sometimes. Yeah, that's a great question, honestly, and I mean, I don't mean to suggest that, like all your questions aren't great, it's just that of all the questions you've asked so far, that is top 20.
The lesson isn't where to shine the light. The lesson is where not to shine it. And in my world, I had been impersonating a show host for 20 years and had 100 different jobs at work for every network doing every kind of show. And all of that was bullshit. All of it was me hitting the mark and saying a line and trying to convince people I know more than I do by talking like this. Right. I mean, that's that's what a host does.
And I was happy doing it and I'd probably still be doing it because I did OK. But in a sewer in San Francisco in 2000, too, I had an encounter. I had been hosting a show called Evening Magazine. And my mother, my mother called me that morning and said, Michael, your grandfather, who was my my idol, by the way, a guy who built a house without a blueprint like the one I was born in. She said, your grandfather is ninety one.
He's not going to be around forever. Wouldn't it be great if when he turned on the TV before he died, he saw you doing something that looked like work?
Great line. So it's my mother, right? So I said, well, it's a good point.
So that night on Evening magazine, I went into the sewers of San Francisco to host the show just to get my mother off my back. And when I was down there, I ran into a sewer inspector, a guy named Jean Cruz, whose job was really just to kind of keep an eye on me and show me around. But while I was down there, we were attacked by thousands of thumb sized roaches, more rats than I've ever seen in my life.
And I fell face first in a river of shit. And long story short, I couldn't do my job, but I could help him. And my cameraman wound up filming me, working as an apprentice with a sewer inspector who was replacing the rotten old bricks in the sewers of San Francisco with new bricks, backbreaking, difficult, unspeakably disgusting work, but really, really, really important, because if that guy calls in sick for a few weeks and everybody else who does what he does, those sewers collapse.
And all of San Francisco is covered in shit, which is funny because it kind of is now today anyway. But that's another story. The point is.
When I looked at the footage that my cameraman got that day of me working, not hosting, but working with an actual expert, it became obvious to me that that's something I would want to watch as a viewer because I had been humbled, you know, I mean, the suger didn't let me do my job the way I wanted to. The only thing I could do down there was help this guy. And so when the spotlight shifted from me as a host, pretending to know more than he did to the actual dude who was doing the actual work, then all kinds of great information came out vis a vis our conversation.
And along the way, the viewer got to see some giant condoms floating by on a river of crap and, you know, all sorts of other weird things you would never expect to see on a TV show. And so that was the footage that sold dirty jobs ultimately, and that was the phone call from my mom that sent me into the sewer. And that's the reason the show is dedicated to my grandfather, who just wanted to see me doing something on TV that looked like work before he died.
And so, you know, none of that was on my mind when it was happening. But looking back. Yeah, I wouldn't be talking to you right now if it weren't for a rat. The size of a loaf of bread that jumped on my shoulder, drove me into the sludge and ultimately convinced me to work with a sewer inspector instead of host to show. Wow.
It also sounds like your mom was trying to convince her dad that she did a good job as a mom by raising a son who wasn't totally worthless. Mm hmm.
Well, look, it's kind of like being the son of of a great athlete or the daughter of a great athlete, like the pressure, the pressure on that kid, you know, Cal Ripken Jr., Jr. or whatever. And like how in the world. Right. My grandfather really could build a house without a blueprint. He could he could take this watch apart and put it back together blindfolded. Never read the instructions then anything in his life. Right.
I was sure I was going to follow in his footsteps up until I was 17. And the truth is, just because you're passionate about something doesn't mean you you can't suck at it.
And the handy gene like like the athletic gene in many cases is recessive. And I didn't get it. The things my grandfather could do. With a construction mindset. I just didn't get it, you know, and so he told me when I was 17. Yeah, get a you can be a tradesman, he said just get a different toolbox because you're never going to be able to do what I'm able to do. And that is a big lesson in a hard lesson.
But that's why I got in the opera. That's why I got in show business. And that's why 20 years later, twenty five years later, when my mother called me, it was like, yeah, from my grandfather. I do whatever I could.
So he saw me before he died in the sewers. He saw me on the Golden Gate Bridge. He saw me do all sorts of things. And that's all it was supposed to be, three one hour specials to get my mother off my back.
But and people watch. They wrote Billy Mad that they wrote it.
It was like. It wasn't just we like to show it, it wasn't like we like you. It wasn't about that. It was you've got to see what my uncle does for money.
Where do you see what my sister, brother, uncle? Because I could write all these letters from people who wanted to share what they do for a living. And that ultimately is what made me think, oh, OK, this is something more than a smart aleck crawling through a river of crap making the occasional dick joke.
So I you're smarter than us. I think it's safe to say. But you realize you did just write another episode for six degrees like you need to do a six degrees of your own life with how your your grandfather became handy and how your mom was ashamed of of the Bita son that she raised and how it ended up with you doing dirty jobs.
Everybody has a story then and, you know, five, six, 10 degrees. I'll show you this will freak you out.
More than Turkey jacking off, sorry, that was that was. What is this, the genealogy of Michael Gregory, OK. And so look at this thing.
Tamme This was put together by a fan of dirty jobs a couple of years ago. I was on a small private plane and we landed in Maine. And when I landed, I took a selfie of me in front of the plane and the tail number was on it and on the tail number. Some guy tracked me down to where I was, and this guy's name was Jesse Hagan, and he put together it taken a year. He's a genealogist. And he put together the entire story of my whole life going back 10, 12, 14 generations cheeseman's.
And I'm related to Lord Baltimore, right. Guy shows up at a private airport and gives this to me so little.
They say he's like, hey, not to be a creep here, but I've been studying is completely freaked out because I've had like stalking issues and stuff like that over the years. Oh, you had to Dronett. So yeah it's pretty. Oh yeah.
The is there are many, many, many, many weird and strange stories, but having a guy waiting for you at dark next to your little tiny plane with a giant book saying, Mike Rowe, I have something for you.
It's the story of your entire life and your family's life. Yes. Yeah. But yeah. I mean, it's crazy. That is crazy. My last question was American Chopper. You did the voice for that. Now, was that your easiest job? Because basically every week you could be like big palls, mad at little Paul. Little Paul's mad at Big Paul. Bich gets made. How did that like did you just submit it one for every season?
Narration is is my favorite thing to do. Well, that's not true. My my favorite thing to do is everything. Right. It's got to be a mix of everything. But narration is is awesome. And that story actually is, is funny because I went in. To read the copy like you always what I had no idea what the show was to know anything about it, and I got in the booth and I sat down and the engineer said, give me a quick mic test.
So I, I read it purely on purpose, like I was just imitating a bad form. D.J. meets a car salesman.
So it was like a father, a son. The drama, the deadline American chopper. Right. Just that. Well, in my headphones, I hear the producer guy named Hank Capshaw and he's like, Hey, Mike, I'm Hank. I'm like, Oh, hey, Hank, how are you? Just doing a mike test goes all out. That that was great. I love that. I thought he was kidding.
So I said, let me do it once more the way I want to do it. And so I did it the way I want to do it. He said, oh yeah, that's terrific. Great.
Well, he uses the mike test, the joke, and he puts it in the American chopper. Not only do I wind up doing 150 episodes of that with that same ridiculous voice, they go on to produce American Hot Rod, American Casino, UFC Ultimate Fighter, 20 other shows out of the same shop. And I did the video for all of them. And every show that Hank was on, he's like. You know what, I want the drama.
Give it to me. Give me that Mike voice. Oh, that's perfect. That makes me that makes me so happy because I love that show and I love that. That's the story behind it.
Got and now on Deadliest Catch. You're right. It's the same thing. We're in season 17, you know. Yeah. Vast Bering Sea. I never meant to do that.
All right. Well, let's let you go. Everyone go check out Six Degrees on with Mike Rowe on streaming now on Discovery. Plus, you're now a recurring guest, so you have to come on next time we ask.
Yeah. Or for voiceover work. Voiceover Can you just say I'm Mike Rowe, hand over your man card.
I'm Mike Rowe. Hand over your man card. Oh, that's perfect. How about. You're watching pardon my take. Oh, that those two guys. Yeah, we do that again. I'm sorry I interrupted shit dude again you're watching. Pardon my take with those two guys.
I love it. Perfect. Mike, thank you so much. And we do expect you to shadow us for an NFL Sunday for whenever dirty jobs comes back.
I don't think you can handle it now. You can't really. You're not, man. And you're going to be begging to master. You can't. You will be able to do it. Shoes challenge issued. Challenge accepted. OK, it shall be done. All right. Thanks so much. I appreciate to meet you.
Mike Rowe has brought to you by three chai. We love three chai. It's the industry leader and Delta eight THC products, three chai hard. When I got home from Detroit, put me to bed, had a real good night's sleep. I think I slept like seven and a half hours nonstop. All praise to the three chief for that one. All the products are formulated by a biochemist and made in the USA with USA grown hemp three cheese.
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OK, let's you guys on Schechtman. Before we do that, our darling Jake has been put in a charity corner.
So we said on Sunday show I wasn't put in the corner volunteer. No Jake.
Did you. Because I don't think that you volunteered to do this until we brought it up on Sunday. Yes.
No brainer. So back in the corner, it would be a tough decision. This is not an easy decision, Jake.
Someone donated a thousand dollars to the barstool fund, and you're going to swear, correct?
Yes. Shout out to AWOL, Jack AWOL.
Did he stipulate which cuss word? No. OK, so what I was going to say is I think we should keep this going if you donate a thousand dollars and you show it proof, it has to be from this point forward. So you can have already donated it. You get to decide. You get to decide what swear or racial slur that you will say on our podcast.
No, you can make a list, but oh, Aurier, say the C word. Yes.
What if I going to say this. Yeah, I think we got to Canseco A.. I think we got to start it out properly and just have Jake drop a hard f bomb.
I think that's a that's a good way to like playing flag and be like, yes, we're really going to do this, Jake. Yes.
So, Jake, yeah, when I was going to say is I fucking love helping small businesses. Oh, OK. All right.
Good job, Jake. Good job. All right. Sorry sorry to the young listeners, by the way, you're fired.
Now, if this blocks me from calling a game one day because I'm helping a good cause, I'm not going to lose sleep over that.
Oh, there we go.
And there it goes, right to left field. And that'll make it to nothing. A ball game. So what I'm I'm definitely going to donate, by the way.
And I'm want to get you to say something really bad, but OK, so we'll get it going forward and it wants to donate a thousand dollars, get to decide what Jake is going to say on the podcast. But we need proof and some words are off limits.
What words are off limits? Yes, say them. You got to say I'm otherwise I'm going to be like, wow.
He'll say he's I can't even spell there's a fine line. Oh, OK.
He can't even spell it a bubba. Can you take Jake saying fucking and just have that like looped over and over again and take on me. Thank you. Mm hmm.
Yeah. And actually of it like we should make, I would like to figure out a way for it to be my my my phone call, my ringtone.
Maybe we should make necklaces in the in the barstool sports store that just play Jake saying fucking over instead of the intros where it's like, hey guys, it's a big cat.
It can just be Jake saying, fucking fuck, yeah, fuck, fuck. And then I was like, this guy's swearing in.
The beginning of all these podcasts would be very funny if that's what eventually got us the explicit tag on iTunes. Yes. Yes. All right, Hank, let's do a couple guys on chicks and send everyone on the fake news this week.
Not guys on chicks, but we owe you some guys. This may come off as weird, but how would you describe the smell of the PMT studio Lavender now?
It smells like old jeans. That's the best way I can describe it. It's not anything. This the smell goes back and forth. Well, the smell goes back and forth because there was a time when I think someone exploded a pumpkin in there that it smelled God awful. There was a time when we we had like we were trying to do like knives out mystery situation where there's if you look at the ceiling above me, there's all this red juice.
And for a while we all were accusing each other and then Baba just walked in. One day is like, oh yeah, that was me. My bad. Yeah. So it smells like everything. It's beer, coffee smells like it's for some reason right now.
I don't know why it smells a little bit like Mountain Dew and dip. I don't know because you pissed.
Did you piss. I walked into the studio 50 percent this corner. I thought it was a joke.
It's OK into a bottle. I will like animal. Yeah, I will not piss him. Yeah.
So that's pretty much what it was like. Yeah. A little bit like. And it's funny you bring up like the pumpkin because it's almost like the carpet and here's a little time capsule. So sometimes if we clean the carpet it brings out the stench of that pumpkin that exploded in here like two years ago. And then the whole studio smells like rotten pumpkin again for a week.
Yeah, it's like the rings of a tree. Yeah. Why didn't they can pfft.
You have to do Soggy Sorrow's when their team lost in the playoffs.
Why didn't we. Because Hegner asked us to and also we totally expected our teams to lose.
So I don't it wasn't really sorrowful.
Yeah. We were just, I did it for, I did it for Cody Pakhi. That was one that I didn't see coming and that I, I thought the Bears actually had a really good team that year. This year the Bears got in from a fucking technicality, letting in seven teams.
AWOL here. Yeah, I don't disagree AWOL here when we have people back in for in-person interviews also honk, what's the latest? You, Pablo, have stayed up producing a show.
I think once this vaccine gets rolling, I'm ready to do it. I'm ready to hit the road again.
Like, I don't I don't know if it's going to happen again, but I really hope that it does.
Yeah. I mean, currently I'm not because again, I'm I'm living in a casino, but I am ready for in-person interviews again.
Would you guys say over under a Fourth of July? Over probably realistic, yeah. We got to get we got to get more of the the special interviews in here, like remember that that lady that cuddly. Yes, yes. Cuddle. Yeah, that was good. Yes. By the way, breaking news real quick.
Breaking news, breaking news, breaking news.
Jon Heyman just tweeted, John Aymond just tweeted, Glad to see Tori Hunter, Mark Burle and Tim Hudson poll above five percent and thus remain on the ballot. Well, I didn't vote for them. The five percent rule is dumb and too many great players have been knocked out early by it. I love it, you fucking prick. Not to worry, 100 fan.
I'm just glad to see him still around.
That's essentially he just walked up to the podium right in their face are like, yo, just see, no, I didn't invite you to this party, but it's cool that you're here.
I'm going to give this guy. Great coin real quick. When are the car steaks coming back in stock?
I was too naive to see the value earlier and now I'm kicking myself.
Please advise me that say we do a special run. Ran into production issues. Yeah. Making sticks anymore. covid, you know, just blame.
I, you know, we'll do is what we'll do. We will. Absolutely. Once we get you a few more states for the barstool sports book, we will do a car stick bet and we will, we will have car sticks giving away because that will be a fantastic bet.
Hey big cat and pfft, what are the things you are most proud of in regards to the show?
Michael, I think just keeping Billy alive for the last three years has got to be way up there.
Well, you keeping Billy live? Me trying to kill.
Yeah, he might die next week, but up to this point, like, they can't take away those years that Billy has somehow not I mean, Billy's lifespan after joining the show, I think everybody was betting would be basically like Larry Three's.
Yes. What am I most proud of? I'm honestly most proud of that. We're like going on year five. And it's it's crazy that we've had this audience for this long. And it just everyday kind of feels like not even real. I remember at the beginning, we're like, got this. Many people are listening and then it just keep kept happening. And I guess it's cool that everyone just like, you know, chilled out and stuck around.
Oh, yeah, like cool guys to just hang out with us. Oh, you guys are you guys are good hang. We appreciate. Yeah, right. Right, exactly.
We thought we thought the party would have ended by now, but everyone's still here, so guess what. Beer still flowing. Let's have some fun.
How did you guys find Billy and will you guys be betting against him, against those they can take away? And where can you bet on this fight?
I will not be betting against Billy.
Wait, wait. You you see what he just.
He is a classic. Oh, hey, hey. Where could they bet on it? I know.
I'm reading the question. I might have added something in the end that I was curious of. Obviously now it's clear where somewhere I think I play Vaslav. Actually, there were you can bet on five of the fights and you can win twenty five thousand dollars.
That's incredible. But there was a question first. How did you guys find Billy? We found Billy the ability Billy applied as an intern. It was actually so great because Hank called up all the intern video, our intern interns, like there's twenty people I think we interviewed that day. And he said to, you know, he's like, I know who you guys are going to pick, but I'm not going to tell you who. And then Billy showed up out of breath with a five page resume stapled that had like, I don't know, seventeen.
It was George O'Leary's fucking resume. And we were like, hey, guys, it's him. And he was like, yelping like art. Your heart.
Yeah. The thing that also that that made me say that in the first place was that there was like 20 interns. I was like doing interviews and I had lost my TV remote from my apartment. And I remember I got to get a new one. And so I interviewed Billy. I was like this kid's kind of character. And then I was like, can you run to Best Buy for me to get me this remote or whatever? And I legitimately walked upstairs, came back downstairs like five minutes later and he's like, come back.
Here it is. And it was like so fast. I was like, how did you even come back this fast? And that's and then from there I was like, you know, this kid.
And it also it actually is a good lesson, too, with our two interns that we've ever hired, all three countries, actually, football.
But the thing. Yeah, but like not being super super fans actually was big in their favor. Like, Jake showed up thinking that he was going to be a columnist for barstool sports. Billy showed up pretending that he listened when it was very clear he had never listened, though I he morning is someone in his high school class is like bro Parcel's kind of cool is like, yeah, you know what, I'm trying to get a job there.
I think there was one line on his resume that was just a typed out you URL to his huddle highlight film. Though I'm trying to click on this. I can give my perspective, you know, my first time doing what I'm doing. This is what happened.
So I listen to the show every day, driving to school and high school because we're only on three times a week.
Well well, it takes about three times. Yeah. Like sometimes a show like was long enough like me. So then one day I followed Hank on Twitter and Hank was like looking for New York City based interns. I was like, oh shit, this would be awesome. It was late my senior year of high school and they, like my high school, had a thing where you had to go get an internship, like to to like so you didn't have to go to class like after a piece done.
So you can just fuck around for your senior straight.
So I like applied to the internship at was like I sent my resume to Hank and I was like, oh man, this would be like so cool this happened. It would never happen. Like, like why would they choose me out of like for no reason. I know. So then I went to the interview, I was sitting in this waiting room with all these dudes, one guy I was dressed like the Riddler or something. If you don't remember that, like there's all these guys like these like some dude you're like had like tons of stories, you know, but like, I was there, like I zoned out honestly thirty seconds ago.
I have no idea what he's been talking about. People ask this, what now?
It's like there's no way I'm going to get this job because I tell my side. I just I'll be exploiting everyone who's sitting in the room with me. We don't care.
But part of me was like part of me was like like relieved that I wasn't going to get it because it's like, oh, it's like I could just go and tell my buddies about this. It'll be hilarious. Tonight in the interview last came back, interviews with you guys just keeps getting worse. It's the worst story of anything. Yeah. Yeah. We know everything, you know, job that had emailed me that you got the job and it's like, well, I can't not do it.
But we also didn't pay you. That made it a lot easier. I think we were like, we're going to pay you like under the table. Yeah.
Billy, what was your first impression of Hank? I mean, big cat. Do you remember the remote? Yeah, I remember the remote. You mentioned that in your like, twenty five minute story. Right. Well, that sucks.
It sucks. Yeah it did it. We don't give me that tone Billy.
The story sucked. I know but I was just like, you know, like I originally had no idea. Like why you guys think like why you're telling it again. Telling the story again anyway, so getting the remote, but my first so my first one back then, you guys were like a lot younger.
I know, but like you guys had higher muscle mass and you could see in your face, like yours heads were like this big back. I don't know why I remember that. That's your take away? No, I think it was like in your 50s.
So you're saying that their heads have gotten way bigger since then? They've actually gotten smaller.
I first met you guys. Like you guys had huge heads. Oh, my God. All right, let's get the show on that. You can't get better than that. I love you, Billy.
You're going to kick the shit out of Jose. All right. What's the number for California? There's one stock that's. Oh, yeah, 90 on the door. We have to redraw. It began to redraw. That wasn't a good frogs can freeze.
JQ is about to it was about to pick 18 and defrost themselves.
There was a ton of stuff. 1873. What do you think? At 99, wood frogs can defrost themselves, the trees themselves to Derek Jeter. I you know that Hall of Fame. How do you know that, Billy? What you know that I watched like that.
He wants you to be very well acquainted with the factors last year that frogs can warm up from the inside number one player to no one got vote is to, well, two to one.
All right. Love you guys. Everyone on Friday.
Love you guys. I don't know what to say. And today's show up on. Needless to say, he's still living in the. The second. You won't open small businesses.