On today's part of my take, sports are back, sort of. We got a rain delay in the Nats Yankees game.
We have Jerry O'Connell on the show, one of our favorite recurring guests. Always a good time.
We have. Let's see, fire fest of the week. Yes. A Mount Rushmore of PLL lacrosse. Great names. Awesome Mt. Rushmore. PLL is coming back on Saturday and Sunday. What else do we have? Oh, baseball changed all the rules right before the first pitch. We have it all and it's all brought to you by our friends at the cash out part. My take is brought to you by the cash app. Not always the easiest place to send money to your friends.
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The ASPCA today is Friday, July 24th. For doesn't matter. Sports are back. Sports are back. Big time. We had opening night tonight. My dad did not trick me into going to a game and then psyching me out, but I did get psyched out by the weather. The weather is psyched us out. The Nats are officially own one starting. We did. It was final, right? Yes, it was final because it went it went five Irwin five and half full innings.
So let me ask you a question. PFG the biggest story outside of Dr. Foushee first pitch. Woof.
Garbage. But you know what? Let's take a sightless, sick sidebar. Walk down this conversation. I actually think first pitches either be terrible or be incredible. I don't think Dr. Falchi had incredible in him. Mice would just go terrible. So, like, if you're in the middle. Yeah, no one remembers him.
He put at it. That was a mistake. He had bad form, but I was almost good how bad it was. If you're throwing out a first pitch, you just have to get it inside the home plate. Circle the dirt part around home plate. I'm not talking about the batter's box. I'm talking about just that. It's probably, what, like 15 feet? Yes, 17 feet wide. Just roll it in there. If you bounce it, that's fine.
I guess he's an older guy. What does he like, 75? Like eight. Oh, yeah. So it would actually be concerning to me if Dr. Foushee went out there and grooved when like 90 miles an hour. Yes.
Right down the pipe. That would be like I don't. I don't know if I want this guy leading my response to infectious disease.
I so I tweeted out that a Groundhog's Day joke that we had because of the bad throw, we had six more months of coronavirus. And then my mentions just became a debate about masks. That was fun. Yeah. That's what turned my phone. Mike, do you actually think, God, the iPhone is playing tricks on us because it overheated and I just threw it into the fucking East River? He's like done for the night. The take was a little too spicy now in a six sick way.
It was kind of nice to have my first bad beat of the year. Yeah. Because, like, I missed I missed missing on a gambling bet. So I had I had three bets tonight. I had Aaron judge to get a ground out or a pop fly in his second bat whiffed on that. I had the over and that's what fucked me. The rain. The rain fucked me.
I might actually I said that I was going to I was going to convert to Satanism if they didn't play this game because I was playing a cruel trick. God heard me and played a double trick on me. Yeah, I guess what? We'll give you a game, but I'm also gonna give you bad beat. But then again, in a way, it just it felt good to feel something. Yes. And and what I was gonna say to start the show, five or noce, five in five innings pitched for Gurko, five innings pitched one hit, one earned run.
Just the home run. Just the home run pinstripes. Is it time, Penneshaw? I will say that I think the pinstripes of his stripes devalued a little bit because they've got that Nike swoosh on there now. Oh, not here as it was. I think that this is a new era. This is Pinstripes 2.0.
I also saw ESPN had an article today because Yankee fans get very mad and we will mark the pinstripes. But then they are willingly, you know, like ready to get into a debate about it because they mean something. ESPN had a totally serious headline, The Power of Pinstripes How Garrett Cole Bought into becoming a Yankee in here cause a Yankee fan for his entire life. So here he is now. Got his pinstripes officially given by me. Now, I quit, can take them away, but I have given them to him.
Feels like it's a little early to go now. Premature strawman. Read that line for you again. Five innings pitched haha. One earned run. One hit. So complete game. Complete game, not shutout but close to it. As close to a shot as you can get.
So let's embrace debate on the aspect of the empty stadiums, because the Dodger Stadium, they had the cutouts behind home plate in DC was just empty seats behind there. I like the idea the cut outs, mostly because I'm just waiting for a line drive foul ball to take one of the heads off the cut outs. Yes, that's going to be a cool moment. When happens for the first. Yes. Inevitably inevitable. That's why we need nets. Why they actually should take away the nets, right?
Yeah. Just so you can just target practice known as that. Why? Why not? Yeah. Yeah. Show everyone how dangerous it would be without nets. Now is your chance. All the nets would be fun. All right, so baseball is back. We had our first results. Full, I think, for opening day. Every team's playing tomorrow. I still understand why the Cubs are playing a night game at Wrigley when they should just playing in the air.
Everyone should be playing in the afternoon and be spaced out all the time. You should give it give back to us the way that hockey is doing. They they have their schedule right where it's just like you're a sit down or a couch for twelve hours and there's going be hockey on the whole time. It's like the NCAA tournament all the time. We missed those, what, eight. It's probably eight days where it's like back to back to back to back games.
Right. Right. We missed that part of our sports life this year. Give it back to us in the form of baseball, hockey and NBA. Yes. And then so the only other story we had before we get to fire fest is are the future good friend Mark Davis when commenting about what he does when he's hurt. So it was in context. Mark Davis was hurt when the NFL chose the Rams and Chargers over the Raiders to move to L.A. briefly.
He said, I've lost games before. That's how I live my life. You lose on Sunday. You're pissed. You go to P.F. Chang's on Monday, have lunch, and then you're on to the next week. There you go. Boom. Keep it moving. Just keep it moving. Is it easy to get a rebound game? Yeah. Some people choose to get over things by meditating under a tree for seven days. Some people, like Sean Payton, choose to get over things by game planning for a game that they're not going to play.
Mark Davis just chooses to go have a sensible lunch at an affordable price. Yes, I. I think Mark Davis also I would love to talk to him. I mean, my dream interview at this point is to interview Mark Davis at a P.F. Chang's, like, just put the microphone on the table and not just let it ride. You know, I mean, like don't do any actual questions. Just let it ride, like hatin at night.
It's basically like planet Earth when they go to like the Amazon. Yeah. And they find like the toad that no one has ever seen before. This would be finding Marc Daviss natural habitat of P.F. Chang's and just watching. It'd be wonderful to do. I would change my name instead of PFM to be P.F. Chang's commentor. Yes. That I would change it to. Sorry. Chris Collins worth. That is it'd be wonderful. I think just sitting down with them, I don't even want to talk sports.
I don't won't talk raiders. No. I just want them to guide us through the menu like like a tour guide at Disneyworld. And one of those boats that the take down the river.
Do you think he has a punch card? I think actually I think he has the whatever I Mongolian beef. Get one free whatever the equivalent of the P.F. Chang's black card is. Yes. He might have made it himself, but he has one.
Yeah, he definitely has a waiter and waitress that he just like he's like, no, no, no. Like these are my people. Yeah. Just wings baby. Yeah. Davis. What a what an interesting, interesting man. How often do you think he gets his haircut? He seems like a guy that does it once a week. Same day, same barber. Well, so you might do it himself. Every morning I was on TV in Pittsburgh this morning, which we alternate weeks.
We love those guys. I can remember I think it might have been Randy. He said that he might get his haircut at P.F. Chang's, which would kind of explain everything. Right. Like he Chang's in banks and he just goes there and he gets his haircut. And that's why it's so bad, because they're like, Mr. Davis, you know, we don't cut hairs like now. Cut my hair. And so they're forced like so some guy from the back of the kitchen is forced to come out and cut his hair.
And he just he just won't take no for an answer. He's like, no, this is my lunch in Barbershop. Yeah, we'd like to. It's one of those giant knives that they use in the kitchen.
They just slice a straight line like we don't we really don't know how to do this. Like, shut up, you do my hair.
That's also probably the only time of the week that he can eat while not being afraid of spilling something over his white tracksuit. They'll put, like, little apron in front of him while he gets his haircut and he can eat while he's done. Yes. So Martavis what a gem.
OK, before we get to fire first week one Lezama announcement next week. Next week. It's gonna be a great week.
We're gonna do it a little bit differently this year because obviously we can't travel anywhere.
No places would have us regardless of the fires. They just don't want to do they don't want smelly bodies, so.
Yeah, it's gonna be a little different. But great week. Next week is going to be fantastic. We have actually an unbelievable interview already lined up for Monday.
And then on Wednesday night, I think you start about five o'clock.
Well, we'll let you know the exact time from Wednesday around five o'clock to Thursday at five o'clock. Part of my take is going to do a 24 hour twitch stream, the grittiest stream you've ever seen. We're not going to get off. We have a treadmill coming. We have games. I think PFG, you're going to drink a beer every hour. I'm going to try to drink a beer every night or eat a hotdog every hour. Is it raising money for charity to raise money for Children's Hospital?
It's going to be awesome. What's grittier than just staying up with your brose for 24 hours and getting loopy as fuck and then at the end of it, we're going to tape Thursday's show. Yeah, and that will be very interested. Very interested. And so we timed it out so that we're going to end the great week stream. Right. When basketball starts, official games start at first. That sounds like a great idea to me. But then I realized I'm gonna have to watch basketball games at the end.
There's no chance for training. We're just going to fall asleep during the games. And that's fine.
I'll get a little taste that Tony Kornheiser life and find out about it tomorrow morning in the paper, but it's gonna be fun.
I'd like to get a little like that from that show 24. I'd like to get a little ticker in that style in the bottom of the screen. Yeah. Yes. Know exactly how much time has passed. Maybe we can save the president or something. It's going to be great. So get excited. 24 hour stream coming on Wednesday night starting around 5:00 o'clock. Like I said, we got a bunch of things planned. Guess everything. We're gonna get some shit trending on Twitter.
We have a lot of things planned. So get excited. Gritli coming next week.
Before we get to our Fire Fest of the week, Boz is back after coming on as a sponsor of our NFL draft coverage.
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OK, fire fest the week Hank.
All my fire of the week. Is that because of Korona, my girlfriend's birthday on Sunday and how to say happy day first it longer you know presence.
I push it off, push it off, push it off, ordered some stuff and then Carone and they're like, you know, shipping might take longer than usual.
And I'm 50/50 on if this is smart here, this is smart hat because you're getting ahead of it and you're saying, oh, yeah, the thing that I ordered today.
Well, it turns out it's only not could be here in time because of Carone also in defensive you coronaviruses been a thing for like only four months, so.
You definitely see that coming. Well, that's my fault, my fire fest is dead. I just my I failed to think about the fact that, you know, coronaviruses still going on and shipping was going to be delayed and all that stuff. And it's really just it's a procrastination thing. There's the ship, right? It's all shipping. I remember when I fired. Such as myself. Yeah. I remember when I first realized shipping was late for crowbars.
I was riding my dinosaur was doing that.
I mean, don't don't sit here and act like future cat doesn't do this stuff all the time. I listen. I do it. But I like March was when we're like, fuck, everything's going to take a month to get here. OK.
What sort of items did you purchase that are being delayed by shipping. This is like toilet paper. You got a ton of toilet paper. Sorry. It's everywhere till December. Yeah.
Aluminum. It's out. We're out of aluminum rock. This is not a tragedy. Thank you, IRA. Would you get her? Don't worry about it. We'll bleep it out. I ghasem. I got her. I got her some hairstyles. Merche. I got an I don't I'm not going to give it away on the show. OK. Some cash. I did not get her. You could get her cash. Are you kidding. Yeah.
You could also just cash or cash. That's zero seconds of shipping. That's true. But so yeah.
I'm no, I'm just a little nervous. I'm hoping today, Friday, that everything shows up. But I'm I'm nervous. Well, matching is here walking out of the doghouse.
You ordered it a long time ago. Listen, Hank, I'm going to give you a little tip now that you are a dog, father. Anytime there is any fight or issue at home, you can just look at the dog. So cute. Mm hmm.
All right. Great. Great way to diffuse the situation.
You should know what you should do. You should just tie a bow around Normy. Yeah. Be like happy birthday. That's just gonna give me mad at that no matter what. Oh, you should get a dog shirt. You can buy good dog shirts. The dog ated the dog ass.
No, you should hit up our t shirt guy and get a shirt for Normy that says I have the best mom in the world. Boom, son, he'll get that to you on Saturday. There you go. Problem solver. A problem solved. Boom.
So we're recording this after the Nats game. So I don't know if there's going to be my fire first or not. If the Nats game is delayed, my fire fest is literally for that festival. Yeah, we're recording this after four cauterise right now, according this before the Nats game.
So we don't know. We don't know. But my fire fest would be literally a fire fest if it gets delayed because I said that I convert to Satanism if God spites me in spites all of us for our patients during Corona and doesn't bother signing night.
So you get out. You got a job waiting for you. Wafer, I feel like. Yeah, there you go. And I feel like being in hell. If I'm gonna be a Satanist, that's gonna be great. Like you'd rather be Satan's Right-Hand guy, the guy that gets punished. So I'm spending only myself into that already. I don't know what converting to Satanism entails, but I'm sure it's kind of like getting it's the way ordained online.
I have to buy cabinet on Wayfair and then got to become an Ellan super fan. Zane is well done already. Super duper fast. Tom Hanks movies and yeah. Yeah by a few typewriter's but my my other five first the week, my real one is that my neighbor came up and rang on my door last night so I was cooking dinner, she buzzed my door and she was very nervous to talk to me and I didn't know why she was so nervous.
And she said, You keep up very late nights as well. No. And I'm usually in bed between eleven and one every night. I've actually got this woop app that tells me when I go to sleep night. So I know that I'm not up at like 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. She's like No. Three or four in the morning. I hear pounding every night on my bedroom ceiling in your bedroom there. You're making a lot of noise at night.
Congrats. And yeah, well, I'm dumb and I didn't realize that she was saying you need to stop fucking at three o'clock in the morning. What I told her was Leroy just he walks around heavily. I thought maybe that's what the issue was. Right. I figured out what it was Leroy in his old age who started kick violently in his sleep. Yeah. And when he kicks, he doesn't realize what he's kicking and he's knocked over nightstands.
He kicks the bed sometimes. And so she thought that she was coming up to confront me about my fucking I should've just rolled with that and been like, yeah, you know what? I'm having a lot of sex late at night. Sorry, I'll try to tone that down the future. But I'm dumb and I just. So it was Leroy walk around. But the bottom line is now Leroy is gonna be kicking in the middle of the night and my neighbors are gonna think that I'm fucking and I say Leroy too.
Yeah. And I think it's Leroy. No, because even after I said that to her, she was like, no, it's not a dog walking around. It's not somebody walking around. It's banging. It's banging. I was like, well, it's gotta be Leroy walking. But the thing is, she's going to think that I'm fucking again. I'm not going to be fucking.
You know what? Fuck her if she wants. Come on over three in the morning.
Yeah. Door's always open. How does leave a tie hanging on my main apartment door. Sorry.
The dog kids. Sorry. The dog gets his wind sprints into the middle of the night.
But it sucks to be accused of fucking too loudly when you're just asleep. Oh, I wish I that I was fucking. I think that's a good thing because it's like everyone's she's being like, holy shit, this guy. Look at him, you know. Yeah. Me in the morning.
Look at this stud. Wow. You look at this ramrod wanting to. Hi, Histon Shaft. Yeah, I don't know. I'd rather be fucking if I'm going to get in trouble for fucking. Yeah, I mean that there is some there's definitely some truth in that. But I think you're kind of the badass in the building now. I guess so. Yeah. She's she's gonna watch. She's gonna, you know, watch out.
You're going to 3:00 in the morning. Shit. But in truth, it's just my dog knocking over my nightstand. Yeah.
Which she should. You should've just showed her, Leroy. She's been like, you want to see a video of him kicking? Well, I didn't think of that. I didn't know what she was talking much. All right. Maybe it's my dog walking. Right? Right. In retrospect, you should just answer the door with a video of Louie. Yep. That's it is him. Yeah. I'll be like. Here, let me show you a video of what you're actually hearing.
All right. My fire fist is Mike Tyson is back. He's going to fight Roy Jones Junior in September. And, yeah, I'm going to get excited for this fight. I'm going to buy this fight. I assume it's on paper view. I would GK Palls fighting Nate Robinson, is that right? Yep. Under God. Who fuck cares about that? I do. Mike Tyson. I don't. I had us beat. Jimmy was a fucking beast.
Did seem get beat up by it rubs. I object. Paul is a beast and. He it all.
He was Ohio's Ohio. His brother lost his older brother. Yeah. He wasn't as well. No, no. We're in the lingo.
Steroids and Ofili 100 cent Hunterson. Sorry.
Either way I'm going to, I'm gonna buy this fight and Mike Tyson is going. Mike Tyson rejoins are not going to want to knock each other out. They're not even gonna be able to punch like they are and want to knock each other out. And it's very much similar to everything that happened at the end of Mike Tyson's career, when I would buy every single paper view and be like, oh, my God. Just one punch. And he's back to being Mike Tyson and he's the ultimate.
Oh, my gosh. One punch and you're out. It's going to suck.
Sadder than the Kimbo Slice, Dadda. Three thousand five.
That one was funny. Five thousand five. Respect. IQ. He's obviously with the Glock looks. Yeah. He's. He's upgrade. That's been upgraded to. I think it's ninth nine.
Holy shit. That's gotta go number three. Never were good at math. No, definitely not. But yeah, this is going to this is going to without a question, suck and I'm going to get so excited for it. I mean, also, I think I think everybody is gonna watch Mike Tyson for Tischer because there is the possibility that one punch, one punch, one punch lights out. Yeah. All right, Billy, your fire fest.
I got picked last in a competitive event for the first time in my life, and it was really humbling. But it was videogames negligible. I know. I know. But I sorry to care about videogames lately, and it's kind of really affected me now.
That's your problem. Never care about anything, but.
Yeah. Who picked you last white tux, Dave.
Oh, that's tough. That's tough. Yeah. When the guy who should be picked last picks you last.
That's always a real surprise in the heart. White socks Steve has. I've said it many times before. He has some genius strain in his body where, like, he could be the best fortnight player of all time, just out of nowhere. Like what?
How that app. And to be fair, I went on the dog walk last week and we did a draft and he had by far the worst draft out of all of us. So in a way, him picking you last means that he's a bad draft. He should have pick, although he picked him last. That means it really wasn't White Sox Steve's pick. It was everyone else's. Yeah. Than everyone else. Pat.
Yeah. Okay. Here's would you just change your number to. However many teams there are and that's how many teams passed on.
Can I ask a question, Billy Woods. Was anyone else in this room? In the draft. Yes. And they didn't pick, you know. Wow. So who was that?
No. Liam, you weren't in that were, you know, Jake. Was it you big cat wasn't. No, I wasn't. Well, Billy. So during the day, someone said in the club, I don't think Billy expected me to see this, but he was playing with his friends. And he was like someone was like, oh, you know, Hank's gone a lot better. And Billy was like, I'm better than Hank now.
And they're like they're like they're like you said that.
Have you said that to him? And Billy was like not to his face. And then someone sent me the clips. So I don't think Billy's expect me to see it. So I kind of I kinda was like a little bit mad at him and was like, that's fair. And then we destroyed his team. So, no, I made the right decision.
The exact quote was, I think I'm getting close to the point where I want to clift's Hank's skill.
That doesn't sound like it will put the clip. Yeah, I think you're getting close. Doesn't sound like something you would say that was a way to measured for what the actual clip was of. You know, I've been a moment when you don't think you're being videotaped. You absolutely were like, fuck that. I'm so much better than Hank.
Hank, I've noticed recently Hank's been holding a lot of grudges. How long do you hold on to a typical grudge like that?
I don't it's not a grudge. I just you know, it's it's a it's a fire. I need fire my body to keep it going. So it's honestly, I welcome those type situations. It was like, you know, Billy said that I want to prove him wrong. I did. Pettys has it better than Ping-Pong. I want to prove wrong. I did. How many kills?
I said you should've known about Amazon. You're mad at me about it. You're gonna prove me wrong. Your shit's gonna get there in time. Yes. Yeah.
I just need. I know a few also on my body. In his defense, we are getting close to vacation, right? Yes, we have to.
So you can feel it. Yeah, you can feel it. The like the tides in the moon. You can feel it.
It's ready for a little break. What's your longest running grudge? Hmm. I've been impressed. How long you've held a. Against chocolate milk, chocolate milk? I don't know, I mean, the little bronze one that I'll never like, I'll never really get over. Yeah, I'm cheating in the Eastern Conference finals back in the day.
I guess I'll think about that. The written word will.
Well, off will future and the beginning of the show. OK, I'll call or shadow it. Perfect. Are you Serbian? No.
They hold big grudges. Really? Is that true? No. Where'd you learn that black hand. Wow. Yeah. True. Good point. He's Serbian. OK. He might be.
You know, the beard looks cois eyed devotion. That would be great feeling. Yes. In fact I am. I learned how to hold a grudge at a very young age. All right. Let's get to our interview. We have one of our favorite recurring guests, Jerry O'Connell. He might if we did a Mount Rushmore right now.
Stephen Hawking with Stephen Hawking is dead. Oh, yeah. You did have a big hairy hand him. Yeah. You grudged him to death.
Yes. You've won. You've won. Hank, Congrats of Jerry O'Connell is one of our favorite favorite guests. Before we do that, Lacross is back. Sports are back, but La Crosse is definitely back. Watch the world's best lacrosse players battle for the title in the upcoming Premier Lacrosse League Championship Series beginning on July 25th at 4:00 p.m. on NBC. That's this Sunday. Twenty total games in two weeks, all on NBC Sports and NBC. The water dogs are playing.
Yes, let's go. Our team is back. Sports are back. Lacrosse is back. The league's seven teams will compete in a 14 game group play format to determine seating for the following week. Single elimination tournament group play is July 25th to August 2nd. Elimination is August 2nd to August 9th.
We get the championship game on August 9th. Water dogs are playing on July. Twenty sixth. 4:00 p.m. NBC. Wait. That's Sunday, right? Yeah. Yeah. All right. So back on Saturday and Sunday is when they're back and went when when the water dogs are officially back. Water dogs on Sunday, four p.m. NBC. The Red Woods versus the Whip Snakes on Saturday, four p.m. NBC. So that's going to be great national television. Check it out.
And also a little foreshadowing. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of PLL player names after Jerry O'Connell.
That's gonna be great. But the premier lacrosse league is back. Our good friend Paul Raible is back. We're very, very excited. So get ready this weekend. PLL NBC, NBC Sports. Let's fucking do it. If you're an Archers Atlas, Chaos Chrom Redwoods or Whip Snakes fan, fuck you. That's all I've got to say. What?
Rob Pernell's back to first time playing cross in a year. He's like the best tacksmen in the world. He's finally being able to play healthy.
Good addition to the ad, Billy. Way to go. He's playing for. That's huge, man.
Big comeback on the atlas. OK. There we go. We hail. Yeah, we look the Atlas Tooryalai now. Yeah. OK, we had exciting. All right. So let's get to our interview with Jerry O'Connell.
All right. We're going right into it. Jerry O'Connell, good friend of the program, loved my current guest. What the fuck are you wearing? Are you wear what are you doing?
Well, first of all, I've got to tell you, I'm currently wearing a. The artist formerly known as San Diego, currently Los Angeles football team Jersey because of the disrespect. Both you guys show to be formally San Diego Chargers, currently Los Angeles Chargers on an episode by episode basis. It's really creepy.
Yeah, it's not that's not necessarily true, Jerry, because we loved Philip Rivers. We love Danny Woodhead. We just we like to make fun of the fact that our two fans in the stands every single game.
That's not true for that Pittsburgh Monday night game last season, the stands were packed. True.
That's true. And they were all waving the towel. The action, yellow towel, head of the Los Angeles football chart.
OK, so you're wearing a la Dannion Tomlinson jersey, which, by the way, that's a great jersey. That's a great jersey. Thank you. Four sizes too big.
And, you know, I had to order it quickly. I paid a lot for shipping.
By the way, I'm really sorry about that. Any environmentalist's. I know what you pay for the really bad shipping. It hurts the environment a lot. But I needed it to get here for my for my segment. On your show, I wanted to show cat and commentor what a what a fan I am.
You realize that this is a podcast, right. And not it's not a video. It's not a television show.
Yeah. But I thought maybe you would be a topic that we could talk about what we're doing right now. Yeah. So. All right. So you're. So we talked about the Chargers season ticket holders on Tuesday nights and you got the jersey. It's Thursday. We're taping this. You're also you're sitting on the. Hood, have a car, what's going on there? What car, car? Where are you? This is an 86 Jagwar. Also an Internet purchase that I made.
Actually, I didn't make it a full story. My wife. My wife sometimes drinks at night and my wife bought a Jaguar on on eBay.
Nice. It's completely rusted out underneath that. It rarely starts. But when it does. She's a she. She's a good ride. I can't wait to pick you guys up at the airport. When we're all allowed to travel and everything.
I want to always travel in the convertible, especially when I'm in L.A.. I'm impressed that your wife, when she gets drunk and she like, goes on Amazon. I bought three Bryson to Shambo house as a joke when I was drunk the other night. I don't know what I'm going to do with them. Your wife goes onto eBay and she's like, I'll buy this vintage Jaguar convertible. That's nice.
I mean, I think made a low bid and it happened to to take note.
What was that conversation like when she woke up the next morning? She's like, hey, Jerry, I think I actually bought a car.
I don't think the conversation actually occurred and took all the notification came that are her her bid was accepted.
Yeah, that's a rush. You won the bid. You won the bid for a Jaguar. And then I think it was they go back into history and figure out what what actually happened sort of situation. That's unbelievable. All right. So Jerry is with us on the first dude. Where's my car? Wax on on.
This is your. This is New York. This is not even New Year's Eve. This is New York State. This is Sports Year's Day. This is. Yes, yes, yes. You say it is. We're back. Sports are back. It feels. Are you guys going straight? Are you guys going straight to watching every single telecast of every baseball game that's happening yesterday?
Oh, yeah, I watch, too. So it's not like a lot, but yeah, I'm just so, so thankful to have any live sports back on television. I will watch whatever you put in front of me on that screen right now. I, I it's been such a drought the last four or five months. I still have no idea how I made it through you.
You guys did figure out a way to make it entertaining, though.
I mean, if not talking about x box video games that some of you play, I mean, something about, you know, the San Diego formerly formerly San Diego, Los Angeles Chargers season ticket holders, which I should say full disclosure, I was for a few years at San Diego Chargers season ticket holder.
Oh, did they call you by accident when they canceled the tickets last week? They're like, hey, this guy hasn't had tickets for a while, but we might as well. I have not since they moved to the new stadium.
I was actually when I moved to Los Angeles from the New York area, I wanted a team to root for. And Los Angeles did not have a team at that time. I would I would make the trip and drive down there.
I actually would imagine the the poor souls in the Chargers ticket office that had to make those phone calls to clock in a full like eight hour day. They probably did go back in time. And they're like, well, this guy had tickets like six years ago. Let's give him a call so at least we can stretch his day out so that we can get fully paid again.
You know, I, I, I had kids. How is it going, Kat? How is being a daddy? It's awesome. It's the best thing ever. And I mean that honestly, I think it's cliche. Most people are like, oh, it's the best thing ever. But I actually was thinking about that this morning. I was like, it's fucking awesome.
Yeah, that's going to change when there's like a pandemic.
And your kids go to school and they stop, go to school and then you're responsible for their school.
That will probably end. Yes. I recognize fully recognize that I am very lucky. I think that if you had a kid, that if you have a child that's over the age of 25, you're fine during the pandemic. And then if you have a child like myself under the age of two where he doesn't have any fucking clue what's going on, we're going to tell him someday that he survived the pandemic in New York City. And he's like, what the hell is that?
I definitely am lucky. I feel for anyone who has to homeschool.
Yeah. Cut. Commentor I would I would love it if you could maybe help out with some homeschooling over resume or something with the kids. Maybe a broadcasting class or some.
Yeah. I mean teach a class. It would be nice to be not the shortest person in room sometimes so. Yeah.
No I it's pretty tall so it's a good stock. Yeah.
Commentor I've actually stood next to you. I'm a pretty tall guy. I don't remember you not being tall.
I'm like five, nine and a half, five, 10 on a good day. Some would say five eleven.
We. Jerry, can we actually do this? Can I use your kids a class? No.
Why don't you why don't you make it look like a communications course or something?
They could be that. Can we swear. Know I'm happy to do it. But yeah. Big brings up a good point. What's the profanity level like? What are what's acceptable. Can we go damn hell and ask. Those are all generic profanity.
Let me try and give a good example of of profanity. My kids are like, remember those John Hughes movies where there were a couple of F bombs dropped in a couple of best bombs dropped? That's about the level of my kids profanity, you know, like a PG 13.
Like, yeah, we do solid P.G. 13.
We do watch the Chappelle's Show. Oh. I mean, Chappelle Cursus quite a bit in those shows. Yeah. I think you're OK with profanity. I think. I mean, I'm OK with it.
Would you like you let your kids watch stand by me. I have.
They couldn't really get through it. For those listening I was in, stand by me. It's not you know, these kids. I know you guys are big on the ticktock, these kids and their tick tock and like just doing the sexy dances and stuff, you know, like long form stand by means an 18 minute movie and that's about seventy nine minutes too long for my children now.
Now, one other thing before we teach this class are would you consider we are kids raised in New York or L.A.?
My kids are being raised in a suburb of Los Angeles called Calabasas. OK. That by now. I'm scared of them. They're cooler than us. Forget it.
There is a little vocal fry with my children like they do. And obviously, you know, we can't. We have to encourage children to be the best they can be. But when I do hear that vocal fry, I. I punish them. As you should know, what sort of what sort of balance sports do they excel at? Are they already on skateboards or are they surfing?
You know, I know last time I came on the show, I'll retell the story really quickly because we were talking about Kat's kid and like, getting Kat's kid in a. Involved in sports. My children, I put them in a soccer camp. And. After that first class, the coach called me and said, hey, Mr. O'Connell, this is Coach Jamal. I'm I'm your kid's soccer coach. And I said, Oh, yeah. And I stopped for a second.
And in my head, I thought, this is it. This is the call that all. Parents of Star, this is the call the Tiger Woods's dad got Rosewoods got where it's like. Listen, I need to work with your son. He's got it. Whatever it is, he's got it. I mean, there's really no limit to how far he can go, but it's gonna be a big dedication. You have to drive into tournament. You have to really you have to be as much a part of this commitment as your child.
And I was thinking, you know, I have daughters. I was thinking, you know, the the U.S. women's soccer team, you know, I was thinking the sky's the limit. And the coach said, your daughter shows no interest whatsoever in playing soccer.
And we feel a little bad taking your money. I don't think she should be rolled in this class. And I became angry and I said, I pay you to watch her for three hours a week.
That's what your job is. I don't want to I don't want to hear from you again. Just make sure she's alive. When I pick her up.
Well, how about this, Jerry? Why don't we teach them a class on broadcasting? We can teach them how to podcast and we'll help them develop their own podcasts where they just sit they watch a Jerry O'Connell movie and then they do a podcast about it afterwards and they talk about their dad.
OK, will people be interested in a podcast about my children watching movies I've been in? I mean, I know I'm here pushing, promoting the secret Dare to Dream, an amazing film that's coming out on video on demand next Friday. But like, are people really going to listen to that?
I think they would listen to your daughter's roasting you. Yeah. All right. It's done. They would absolutely watch stand by me. And they'd be like, wow, dad. Dad used to have a few pounds around the old waistband back in the day. That would be funny. People would listen to that. Yeah, you know, I see you because I played the husky kid in Stand By Me. You're saying I was a little heavier. We watch it if you re watch it.
I wasn't that you had a dad. That was you. You've got you have that same baby. It's a drug that's that's not that's that's that's rude. What you're calling me. I was a I was a healthy kid. I mean, I'm sure you see kids on the street or whatever, and you're like, I think that's a healthy kid. Yes, I was I was not I was not fat. What you're saying is is a little rude, to be honest.
You were you were extremely healthy. Fair. Fair.
You. And you're confusing me with the Los Angeles Chargers football.
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Dad got off the Chargers. I am actually curious to know what you think about your quarterback situation because it's the first time in a long time without Philip Rivers. We're all gonna miss him out on the West Coast playing those afternoon games down like 14 to 20 without six minutes left and see how many interceptions he can throw. You've got Justin Herbert. You've got a new toy. And I said to Rod writes, Rod is kind of penciled in to be the starter.
I love the San Diego Chargers simply because of their running back situation. That Eckler dude single handedly got me into the playoffs last season. Yeah, I yeah, I'm a huge it's so funny how I play fantasy and no one should take my advice because I lose consistently. You'll never remember my my virgin time with you, Captain Commentor on your show. I talked about how I only draft Browns players on my team and I've only been to the airport in Cleveland.
I have no affiliation with Cleveland whatsoever. It's just because last the last time I won fantasy football, I had Braylon Edwards and Derrick Anderson as a one two punch. And I and I won that season. So now I have to have, at a minimum, three Browns on my fantasy football team every season. And I have not won since that season. I did make the playoffs this year. It was 16 teams of 14 team playoff games. I snuck it in the 14th.
I didn't lose in the first and found it badly.
But the number one seed had had a bye. So I had to play the number two seed and it would be pretty good.
But that Austin Eckler. I'm a huge fan of drafting at least one send a charger running back at Los Angeles football team running back on on my fantasy team.
I like it. So do you have it? Have you done any scouting for this upcoming season?
Oh, you know, it's a little bit wasteful because, you know, I like to also draft people who I, I like on hard knocks who actually make the team so hard. Knocks has ordered yet. So you have to either be a brown a San Diego football team now currently Los Angeles football team running back or some sort of second stringer on hard knocks for me to draft you on my team.
Well, that's perfect because this year the Chargers and the Rams on hard knocks. I know you're gonna have a deep draft board.
I have a problem with drafting Rams. I don't know why it's so weird.
It's a weird thing that I have. You write your fantasy strategy is is honestly the most interesting fantasy strategy of anyone I've ever encountered, because it's really it's nothing really based on production. It's it's just personal likes and dislikes. And I respect the hell out of that. It's really crazy.
I, I have a lot of problems. Sorry to the people of Houston. I can't watch a Texans game. I don't know what it is about the Texans that annoy me so I can I could never draft DeAndre Hopkins, even if I had a top five pick.
Good news. He's a he's a cardinal this year. Yeah, you watch. I knows I do not watch the Cardinals either.
It's so funny. I have I have weird teams that I can't watch.
I do love to watch and I've never been to Jacksonville, but I love to watch Guibord game. I don't know what they meant.
Yes. I don't tune helmets sometimes that they used to have that sweet. It makes no sense.
I know, because that same season with brain lint, Edwards and Derek Anderson, I. I also started in my RB two slot, Maurice Jones Drew, who I love on the NFL Network over there.
Sorry to talk about a sports network that's not barstool, but he's he's a great commenter and not you comment or he's a great commenter on NFL Network. And he. I just have always drafted Jaguars. I had that Gorner Minshew last season and that D.J. Schadt that at that at that at PJ Shart. He was. It was it was a really fun season for me. I told you I snuck into the playoffs. Yeah, that was good for you.
For me sometimes. If if I have this player and I'm kind of the same way I think all of us are. For whatever reason, we just don't like certain teams who's bored by certain things for me. I just I can't watch the Giants. Their uniforms are just boring. They always play during games in primetime. But it always takes like a full year for them after they get off that team and they get to a new team. For me to realize that they're a good player now and that they're exciting to watch in a different uniform, they'll still have that kind of layover stink on it for about 12 months.
Right, right. Right. Oh, I can understand that. It's sort of like East Coast NFC. Old school football. I could see why you're not into the Giants. It's not it's not that exciting. ANC stuff that happens, you know. Yeah, I could see that. Are you afraid at all, given your past with fantasy football, that eventually in like 10 or 15 years, you're just not going to be able to play anymore because you're going to have so many?
Like no watch teams and players. And eventually you're gonna look at it and you're be like, wait. I only have chargers and Browns and there's not enough roster spots anymore.
I know that's a good question. This is why you guys are going to be so good at teaching my kids and online broadcasting class. No, because. The new teams sneak in for me that I would have thought I would have never been a part of. Let me try and give an example of that. Let me think. Why am I into the Raiders? I had somebody on the Raiders, maybe I had some hard knocks.
But I had some random I think it was Washington or something. I had a couple of years ago, I had some random running back from the Raiders that somehow did well for me. And now I'm able to watch Raiders games again. But it was funny. It like. It was not Rob Cartwright. It was. It was something Washington. I'm so sorry. I'm blanking on his name. So that's good, though. That means you're not. Never say never, guy.
You can let people back into the Jerry O'Connell fantasy draft guide. You should actually. We should do that. We should build a draft guide for you. I like we do that. Can we sit down and be like here like it and we'll go through it and just be like Texans. Deshaun Watson. Don't draft. Why can't you see Jerry O'Connell can't watch Texans games. I can't do it.
I can't do it. We can tease it right now.
We'll put this out with tomorrow's show. Just give us your power. Ranked top five browns to watch out for in the twenty twenty season fantasy was I'm really going to be looking at their tight end situation.
I'm not really gonna be looking at their tight end situation.
Who did they just get that? I'm sorry, you I'm using my phone for this for this interview shows, so I can't look it up, but they just got some amazing tight end.
That's the way I am. I want to do this. I want to I want to sit down and you could tell us exactly who you want and don't want and why the reasoning. And we'll go through the whole thing. And I think that will look like if people follow the Jerry O'Connell draft methodology for fantasy football, you two can finish 14 out of 16 and sneak into your playoffs given it. They're giving 14 teams a playoff spot.
Guys, will there be any cut outs of you at any of these baseball games tonight that I will be watching?
No, I don't think so, unless somebody else made him without our knowledge. That's always a possibility. You were talking about Austin Hooper, by the way, who went from the foul Hostin. Who hurts? Yes. Yes.
It's definitely going to be my, my, my tight end and I'm going to do something not so I'm going to do something not so smart where I pick him in, like the second round or something.
That's how that's how we are. I want a whole list of like. Yeah. Like it. All right. Third round. This is when we fuck everyone up and take our defense. No one's going to be guy.
I guess that's I guess it's obsessive compulsive disorder. Like you have to have something a certain way. And by the way, the reason why I failed so miserably in fantasy I'm in or leagues, of course, there. I don't know if we're allowed to talk about wagering here, but of course, they're all two hundred dollar in. So when you lose, it's actually like especially now with the quadrant. It's actually like financially like my children don't get.
Like school lunch or like, oh, like a couple of weeks, right? It actually it actually affects me economically. These are these insane OCD decisions that I have. It actually is a burden. And then it makes me depressed around the house. And then, you know, Sunday, Monday, I'm emotionally not well. I can't watch or listen to any sports, television or radio until they stop talking about what happened that Sunday. It's a it's a pretty bad cycle for about 16 weeks.
Jerry, 14 team PPR here. Who should draft Odell Beckham or Jarvis Landry?
What are you drafting them in for?
A 14 team PPR fantasy football league. Any round you want a what round am I taking them in? Yeah. Who would you take first? Oh, we would just take both.
You know, I took Odell last season and while I respect him as an athlete and also an online personality, really did not perform for me. It really was. It really cost to my children thousands of dollars.
Why would. Just either of them I would. I would I would I would stick with my boy Hooper. That's about it. We're done with Whooper. I liked Simon Draftable. I liked sorry.
And Landry also because he's playing with Odel. He's a he's a he's a tough pick as well. You just can't rely on them consistently having Michael Thomas like numbers every week, you know. Right.
Right. I had a question about the actual movie that you're promoting. The Secret.
Yes. Yeah, of course. I know you guys live by this book. It's amazing. Yeah. It's the book that uses laws of attraction to help you get things that you want in life. They made a very romantic, sweeping, epic film about it. It stars Katie Holmes and Josh Lucas. I know commentor, you are huge, a huge fan of us. Sweet home Alabama.
I am, yeah. You know, me. Reese Witherspoon and the star of Sweet Home Alabama, Josh Lucas, is in it. A dreamy, dreamy guy. I play. Katie Holmes is husband who is whatever the secret is and those laws of attraction are. My character is the opposite of that. I'm holding her back and like, oh, you're an anchor.
Wait, so wouldn't that wouldn't you? I mean. Yeah. What did you technically be the secret then if you just did everything opposite of what you do? I have the secret. My character is the is the A.I. Secret is the antithesis of it. Put my character on you. You do also contain the secret. By just everything that your character does. Just don't do that and that. And therein lies the secret. Yeah, sure.
If you use that reverse psychology. Sure. Yeah. Yes. And my character is the answer to everything I saved. I saved the production company a lot of money. We'll just get rid of the fucking what's the guy's name who tries to be the heartthrob. We know you're the heartthrob. No, it is. It is. Just get him out. Is he is he is a leading man. Here you are leading man. You are.
Isn't there some legal philosophical theory, though, that everything contains the exact opposite of it?
I think you're right. Yeah. You. We could have just made we could just me, Jerry O'Connell acting like a dick for two hours, been like the secret is don't do what he does.
Maybe that could be our spin off after we open our online broadcasting school for children who watch B, B and C type movies that Jerry O'Connell has starred in.
I'm just thinking about it right now to try to kind of meld both worlds. You are the walking secrets for fantasy football. To do the opposite of what you do is the greatest fantasy football strategy out there, man.
You know what it is? I always can see you guys in like late summer when we're just starting to do our mock drafts and everything. That's every time I come and see you. You know, I came and saw you last year at exactly this time.
Yeah. We did a Mount Rushmore of fantasy draft positions that you'd like to be in. Yeah. And I think it took a right. 30 minutes. Yeah. Have you figured that out? You guys did something crazy to me.
You had some sort of crazy draft that you did where it's like, yeah, I gave you. You threw out random numbers. And I felt like my edibles had, like, just kick. When I walked in there, it really crazy.
Yeah, we know. We remember. I mean, we have you actually drank out of a cup that we've actually haven't we. We've saved it since. So just been sitting here with your DNA on it. We're waiting to Brainbow for a crime.
We're no, we're gonna clone you and then we're gonna do the opposite of what your clone does and become a millionaire.
I like the way, Jerry. I love the secret that is out July thirty. First on all streaming. Or you can get all streaming, right. It came out in the theaters, right when Corona virus hit. And now you can be on watch at home.
It was going to come out in April and then they shut down all movie theaters and everything. And now it's being released on on video, on demand and like Apple movies and all that stuff. I mean, it's it's really interesting if that's what's going on now. You know, it's it's going to be really funny, too, that I'm speaking to you on the day that actually the first thing has opened in. Yeah. In society. I mean, I guess I guess in Asia there's been baseball, I guess.
Yeah. MLS, as you guys mentioned. Yes. Has been open. Technically it's been banned.
But this is the first. This is the first thing that's on my radar that's that's opening.
I just would like in the secret that you play a character named Tucker. And then it made me think of Frank Cushman Khush in Jerry Maguire. There's something about when you go when you clean up. You really should only play characters with, like, real douchebag names. I don't know why, but it really fits you. Not that you are right, but s.o.s play the character. Yeah, I never really thought about. I guess Tucker does sound like a little bit of a teabag name.
Yeah, rager like like you should be like a CHADD. Like you're kind of the perfect plant oil. Yeah. I see you being I. It's a Dustin. Yeah. You got all that. I don't know. It's some. But again, you're a great guy. We love you. But I think when you it's it's acting really. It's it's the testament to how great you are as an actor. Do you're able to play bad guys knowing how good of a guy you are?
Right. Right, right. Right. Have you ever been nominated for an Oscar?
I've never been nominated for an Oscar. I was nominated for an MTV Movie Awards.
Yeah. We may have one. I was in our film. Really amazing. We made film I actually don't remember is amazing little film. I made a little independent called Kangaroo Jack. It was about two guys who go to Australia and they put a sweatshirt on a dead kangaroo and it wakes up and runs away. And there isn't 10000 dollars in the sweatshirt that the kangaroo ran away with.
Remember, it's a good film. Yeah. It's it's really good. You should revisit it. It's really cool. But even without nominated, you did not win.
The film was nominated for best screen part. We had an On-Screen fart.
Yeah. Yeah. No. No, you weren't. OK. So kangaroo check. Yes, you did. So you had best virtual performance. Nominate MTV Movie Award. You lost that. But you did with a kids choice were award for favorite fart in a movie. Well, that's what it was. I'm so sorry.
What was that you farting? Was it your actual father? Was it a sound effect? Was it actually, you know. No, it's so funny. A lot of actors like say like just do it post, you know, just like just just just added in later. But I was like, I'm gonna do this. And we did a lot of takes and it's tough to do it over and over again. I actually I actually did shit myself and one of the takes.
That's why one method acting. I got we got we don't we're going to watch this movie next time because we've got to make a list because I would love to do a rewash with you because it also had it also was nominated for worst supporting actor and worst supporting actress. Neither of them being you, but it was a nominee like Red. Is that like Razzies? Razzie Awards. Nominate you and stinkers bad movie awards. Nominated you.
Oh, man. But you won't tell your that to the past. Like, let me tell you the secret. Dare to dream. By the way, have you guys ever read the secret? I have not.
I read. I read the game. Yep. And I assume that it's similar, right. To pick apart this thing.
Isn't the secret just. They say what they want to be.
Yeah. It's a laws of attraction thing. I mean, it's a lost attraction thing. I do have to say, when I was I was working on a television show and I was loudly and vehemently complaining about my superior. We had a boss that I just hated and I had a coworker and he was like, Hey, man. Come over to my dressing room and I went to his dressing room and he was like. You should read this. You sound really down.
And I was like, oh, no, I'm not down. I just hate that guy. I just hate him. And he's our boss. And it just makes me feel good to make fun of him, never to his face, like behind his back. You know, and you. You should read this. And he gave me the secret. And I did I did some through it. And I found it to be very, very helpful.
What can you give us, like one little nugget as a tease for the movie? Just improve your life. You know, in a small dose.
Man, this is the this is the part where you guys make fun of me, though. So, I mean, this is the part where you make fun of me. You're supposed to like if you want something, you carry a picture around of it with you and like it will help you like it. It'll be like a law of attraction.
Is that how you just carried around a bunch of swimsuit issues back in the day and then eventually you married Rebecca? Remain so for those listening?
I'm married to a former Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover girl, Rebecca Romain. No, I got to tell you, I'm shocked that I ended up marrying and I'm with Rebecca Romayne and I have no right. I have no money. I have no real, like, status in society. Oh, no.
In fact, hidden in stand by me best friend.
Hey, man, you got to stop with the fact. It's not a cool term. I was husky and everyone knows it if you watch it. Everyone knows I was not fat. Obviously there are fat people in film and television and I am not one of them. Re watch it. I did not use a law of attraction. I don't know how I ended up with my wife. It was not.
I mean, I tell you, I guess I was kind of funny.
I think you get the vibe like the hey, you can buy a Jaguar on eBay. I'm cool with that vibe.
I do have to say. Last football game in San Diego that I went to was a Raiders Chargers game and there was a physical altercation with some Raiders fans in the stadium. And my wife looked at me and went, I'm not I'm not coming to this to these games. Is it?
So that was my wife learning about Raiders fans. Yeah.
Did you try to defend her? Were you in the middle of the fight? Actually. The way my wife tells the story is it happened near us. And I used her because they were throwing things like I get behind her a little bit.
Yeah, that's not. I don't recall that happening. Yeah. Hey, some Bob Costas does that with the picture thing, what he carries around like his dream, a picture of, you know.
And he's like one day it's like dance. Does Alex give an answer?
That's toast. HOST Yes. He has got a picture of toast. Correct.
I dream that I will be able to order this perfect, perfect egg for Alto's man. Yes. It's so rude.
Here I go. I've kind of been doing the secret unintentionally, though. I've just been telling everybody that one day I'm going to own the Washington Redskins. I don't really have a plan to do it. But if I just say enough, I think that the universe will make it happen.
Washington football team we were referring to.
And I could see that happening the way that story. Came out last week. The big buildup. It's about Snyder and everybody has that. I haven't read anything more about that. So they fired everybody that was named in the in the article that came out. They're no longer with the team. But Snyder, there was a big question like how much this. SNYDER No, he obviously knew some of it. Is he going to be forced to sell the team?
And I just think that every other owner in the league is too afraid of being implicated in situations exactly like that to set the precedent that we will fire you if this stuff happens under your watch. So I think Snyder is going to stick around for a while, unfortunately.
Jerry, this has been awesome. We love you. Anytime. I love you guys, too. We I want to do. Right. Do the fancy guide. Are you going to come to New York any time soon? I want you a full fantasy guide. Will we go through every team and we're like, nope, can't draft them or yupp. Can draft him, take him in the first round.
So funny. Let me tell you, man, obsessive compulsive disorder really ruins any chances you have of winning any fantasy football, anything. Oh, gosh. Hey, no offense to the Dallas Cowboys. I do not pick Dallas Cowboys wide receivers anymore and good ones.
I can't do it. I'll tell you, it's also tough not to draft Dallas Cowboys because you because they're on basically every Sunday or Monday night game, like any time you're able to watch a football game.
Every player I trapped here on the West Coast, please, at 10:00 a.m. and that's it then. Then my week is over. I have nothing rolling into Sunday night or Monday night.
That's that's kind of the opposite. What I do, I like to draft teams that I know we'll be in in Sunday Night Football on Monday football just so that I can have like this bail out game where I'm like, oh, yeah. If Amari Cooper scores seven touchdowns on Monday night, then maybe then I'll tie.
Right. Right. True. Alema. Jerry, you're on Green Bay. Just draft Packers and you'll love something you do every Sunday night. What about what about Jets?
Would you ever draft a jet? Big, it's a big it's a big it's a big downfall of mine. I'm actually a Jets fan. It's a big problem. I mean, even when I drafted LEVIEN with my number three pick last year, it's just it never works out for me, man.
It just never works out for me. I've been watching the Jets this year. Hopefully everyone stays copied and motto free.
Yup. Yup. Well, Jerry Searcy, though, you're one of our favorite guests. We appreciate it, man. Commentor. Love you guys. Yeah. When not when a Madden 21 comes out. We should do a little online. Head to head now.
Oh, you want to smoke? Oh, yeah. I think I can handle it, ok. I will do it. We'll do it.
We got to do it. We got to do it a little later at night because my f ing kids are on that Tic-Tac all day. So it messes with my bandwidth.
OK. All right. We'll do it later. Yeah. We're in. That'll be awesome. I would love that. See you guys. Awesome man. Thanks so much, Gerri. You're the best, Gerri. Appreciate it. Misu. That interview with Jerry was brought to you by our good friends over at Rowman and their room in swipes. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer. Thinking about baseball doesn't always work. So you've got folks at Rowman there, the online men's health company that you've heard us talk about before.
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Okay, let's get some segments.
First up, we have team name changes or if you're the Washington our words, you're just not picking a new name.
I'd still like to bleep out football team until they win a football game. They they shouldn't be allowed to call themselves an actual football team until they get that W8. It could it could take awhile.
So I don't I guess I should we shouldn't be surprised anymore because, you know, last week we obviously talked about the horrendous article that came out about the washing football team's goings on. And then we also you did your top ten best moments last 20 years, which are very bleak. But the fact that they had this much time to figure it out, they haven't figured it out. And then they did a press release and they haven't changed any of like the Redskin logos off of the Web site or their Twitter or anything is it's so fucking stupid.
So what would happen was it very clearly points to the order of operations for how the name change came about this summer. Dan Snyder. Yes.
To him, I mean, he had probably 20 was at 23 years of ownership to think about this day and what it would eventually come to if he ever decide to change it. But he obviously never wanted to change until FedEx stepped in, until Pepsi and Nike stepped in and said, we're gonna take away your money. We don't want to have our products associated with your football team until you change name because he didn't have anything ready to go at the time.
So it was very clearly a reactionary move that he pulled like three weeks ago. And he was like, okay, now it's time to appease my minority owners and the sponsors that are threatened to pull out. So now he's stuck behind the eight ball where he has three weeks to get ready for training camp, get all the logos set up, get all the signage taken care of. And it's not enough time when you include the fact that you have to go about doing the trademark thing right.
Getting the Twitter handle was the right Graham account. Right. So they just said, you know what, we're gonna punt. And if you are the vice president of marketing for the Washington artist formerly known as Redskins, you are so happy today. This is like the ultimate delaying plans. And now guess what? You've got a full year to figure out. This is like a boost. This is when you. Is like when you get your extension on your tab.
Yes. And then you again. Six months now, we'll be in a place where like shit we had all that time. I actually like the helmets. I like the I like numbers on a helmet. People were like, oh man. That's a college thing. Yes, it is. But why not have one team in the NFL have it? Yeah, kind of cool. I actually I like that part too. Yeah. And you I don't want every team to do it, but I think it's cool.
Yeah. They look OK. The uniforms look decent, but now they're just the colors are the same. I'm certain. And talk myself into the fact I saw Mark Titus tweet about this. But my one of my initial reactions was I'm going to spin zone my way into loving this team name. And that's just like you have to be you have to be a candy ass to have a mascot for a team like really Washington football.
It is kind of candy ass to name your team after a bird or whatever, bird or fish, whatever. These other teams have were football team.
We play football, football. We don't need any of right. This as high. Hit it off. Yeah. We don't need a mascot. I actually don't hate that. I like that spin zone. And then we had the Seattle crack in the 30 second NHL franchise was debuted today, Billy. So Billy's been doing a great job. He's been putting together the top ten stories that we need to pay attention to handing us a sheet. He's done some editorializing on this one, and I love it.
And so he wrote some jokes down that we could possibly go with Seattle crack in the 30 second NHL team. Cracking a beer with the boys.
Yeah. I like that. And dovetailing off it, when they get a win, they should just say, like cracking a cold. Yeah. Crack and go on. The ice is cracking. That's probably a bad thing. You don't want that soupy. Yeah, there's some some Zamboni technician is like, God damn it, Billy.
What's crackin? I like that too. That's kind of cool then. And then the great one. The fans want to be called crackheads. And then he also put in Brandon Walker tweeted this, but it's not his original idea. Okay.
So that is not all that. It's not from Branwell. Yeah, I own idea.
I don't know. I like it. I like their logo that I know their logos are pretty sick. They've got sick. They've got to anchor with the Space Needle as the top of the anchor in there.
I don't want it to be the SEALs because I wanted to fucking cute little seal mascotte or they don't care about animals.
I do not care about nature taking care of itself. Fact.
What about that Rain City? Jax was right there. He was it was there for the taking of the semen.
I do love those. Cool. So it's an octopus.
What is the what's behind a crack and so a crack and is a mythological creature. Actually, Billy was very excited to explain what a car like this. This whole cryptozoology thing is. Giant squid.
Giant squid. You see a lot more populous in the oceans due you. Environmental change.
That is not so much anymore. But sometimes they wash up on the shore. So in ancient seman, when they were out, they'd see the squids rise to the surface, keep it together, and they'd be like, whoa, what is that thing? Is it a giant squid? That's going to kill us?
I'm also pretty sure it was like a mythological creature, too. No, it's not. That looked like it. So are they going to be throwing squid on the ice? Now they have to. Yeah. First, quickly. Like the Red Wings. Mm hmm. You think they're gonna do that? Probably. I think. How expensive squid.
It's pretty cheap. Could you sneak into a Marine? Yeah, you could. Not a giant one. That would take. You'd have to like. You'd have to really do some work to wrap up a giant squid like a 50 Wheaton's paper or squid.
The same as octopus. No, they do. Oh, it's a redwing throw octopus. But I didn't. I thought they were the same. I thought squids were just smaller. Oct squid is calamari.
So Hank would eat an octopus, but he wouldn't eat a crack in a god. Squid is kind of conehead.
Oh yeah. Had the cousins. Yeah. Several pods. There you go.
Really. I thought had a great name would be the Seattle Science. OK, I got the goal Sara. And then you could have Courtney Love just up in the corner just trying to lure Alien date her. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
OK. Yeah. I mean I just like cute mascots, you know, seals would have been cool.
SEALs would a good Seattle sea lions. Mm. Sea lions are cuter than seals embrace debate. Yeah. Because they have the whisker they've got. No they both are whiskers seal. Sea lions have ears. Yeah.
SEALs don't know. But there's way more this you've got to think about. You know, you're gonna think what the worst case scenario. If the seals are getting smoke, there's a lot of videos of animals and sharks, just fucking seals up all the cracking, you know, videos and stuff out there from like Pirates of the Caribbean and movies where, like, these giant squid just come and fuck everything up.
That's a good point, actually, because there would be a lot of that violent seal clubbing stuff going right. Nobody wants to see that. Right.
Like live look at the SEALs and she's a shark. It would be like when the dolphins lose and we do. Yeah, sure. It's a very good point. Good point. Good point. Yeah. You can't make fun of it though. Is the even the the partial main account due to a video of a bear getting tossed like food and in the throws were terrible is like life. Look at the bears receivers getting a pass from Trisk. You can even do it with aconite.
Yeah, that's some Brackin don't exist. Yeah. So you can't. Omar, there's no footage. Okay.
It's trash. I don't think cearns.
I disagree. All right. Well, before we do our Mount Rushmore, we had Christian Pulisic and I was talking soccer. Strong soccer.
Oh, yeah. And MLS added, like us the 30th team.
I thought with analyst weirdo's all day, some good fucking analysis was. Yeah. Austin. Austin. No, Charlotte was a great game today. Yeah. In the end I just fought with like I don't understand how they can keep adding teams.
There is a Ponzi scheme. Yes, a Ponzi. Because you just pay the owners. You pay the existing owners. And it's like, isn't the problem right now that there's the talent isn't there's not enough talent to, like, keep up? Well, he begats funny, keep adding teams.
It's funny that you mention that because I'm squatting on a take right now and that is getting mad at Christian Pusha Church for not playing in the MLS. Yeah. Truly cared about American soccer. I agree. He would be over here and he will when he's like 40. He will. Yeah. When. Yeah. Maybe even older than that. Right. Like when he's got one leg in Hershey, Pennsylvania.
Has a fucking team. Yep. The 70s fifth franchise animals. Yeah. I lost 20 year. I can't wait for the first soccer writer to actually come out with that. Take that. Like Pulisic is wasting his talent by training overseas instead of encouraging little Billy and little Sarah growing up right now to play soccer. Yaraka, you got more people were becoming Chelsea fans and they are Charlotte FC. Cha cha. I think there's just all FC there. They're not logo, but they're abbreviation is just CLTV.
Click, click. I will say that Miami team those jerseys are sick. You will anything. Miami. Yeah.
I don't know whether you use pink more in jerseys like nine. You know, like maybe the seams but those are fucking awesome jerseys. Yeah.
I mean the NFL does during October. That's true. That's true. And they pretty much they stopped candid about what they did. Yes.
All right. Finally, Mount Rushmore. We're going to the Mount Rushmore of PLL players. Reminder, pillow's back four o'clock on. Saturday, four o'clock on Sunday, the water dogs are playing tune in. We're very excited. Our good friend Paul Raible. He's back. So let's do it. Paul Raible, by the way, good friend of the show. I think next year he, Julian Edelman is going to have some competition for third trap of the year.
All right. Abels third tries doing it.
He likes to take his shirt off when he's out, when he's in the field whip snaking it around. Not a bad thing. I would too far, Paul, but I'm just I'm just saying he's an up and comer when it comes to third trap community.
All right. Should we start with Billy and go that way?
This way? Yeah. Yeah, it's. I like having Billy at the end because that way somewhere that we never do.
Snake just correctly until Billy showed up and now we do him correctly. He's a snake charmer. You're welcome. All right.
So Bill, so it's going to go Billy me, PFG Hank and then back. Okay.
I must start with Steve DiNapoli.
OK. Interesting Italian restaurant. Yeah. It does remind me of like a frozen pizza.
OK. That is an interesting one because I even. I'm high. Yeah, me neither. I'll go with my easy number one, Tucker Durkin. Love that. I am. That is lacross through and through Tucker Durcan. That's a steal. Right. OK, maybe that is Hook. Good job. I know I go guy making a good second pick second. Heck I trade up for.
What was your was the thought process for you Steve Dean. Oh you have. You going to him. OK, so Billy is going to go all the time so I might have to fuck you up. You'll get his. Switzerland might have cancer care. My first leg of this one was very clearly the second best one. Blaise Rearden and it's spelled Ríordáin, but his blayse, his first name is actually Bleys. Yes. Jake, did you call any of his games in college?
I know he went to New Albany, but there's a good amount on this list that I. Oh, wow. You all but lasdun out. I like I love the fact that a baby came out. Yeah. And his dad was definitely a lacrosse guy. It was like this kid's name. Wait. How do you spell plays. I can't see it on the G.L. ac. Perfect.
I'm stunned. I'm actually stunned. This one made it this far. Oh, wow.
Well, Billy's was a trash first pick. Cade Van IRAP Horst.
Yeah, that one's good. I had him. I had him, Hank. I had him.
And then I would go with I mean, there's a lot of good ones and I'm worried about not getting these on the way back. But I'll go with Gunner Walt.
Him so many of these names lend themselves to literally translates to I mean, there's one that's there's one that's like, I'll just stay right now. I want to hear it. B.J. Grill.
Oh, but I was gonna pick that I and say Billy's cooking because it sucks.
He's meat that he is he is on the waterdog gunner.
Walt, I would say Breaking Bad series finale would be slightly transbay, sir. No doubt your turn.
Yeah. Hank just took him. So you took Gunner, right? Yeah. Yeah. Good pick. I'm going to go with Brody Merrill, just Brody Blazin Brody. Those two, those are like those are the Basche brothers of the new generation. Yeah. Is the Ticktock Bash Brothers okay.
Let's see, let's see, there's some good ones here. Foch. Damn, I really want to now knowing that there's some good ones. There's some good ones.
I'll go with I'll go with another lacross special.
I'll go with Rhyder Garnsey. Mm hmm.
And it's a good name for four just like nicknames and it's Ania's e y or E.R.. Hmm. He's hockey or lacrosse player. Garnsey Ryder though with a Y rodder. Di. Yep. Jerry Wragg. Anees.
Okay, you do it all fancy. Fuck boys. Yeah. I like you more and more.
Guido's playlet cross than you can be carefully canceled again. Italian. Load it up. We'll do a new. No, we'll have a new art that we put up like a days show since Billy's been canceled back to zero.
All right, Bill, you get picked on another pick. I like. I like where your mindset.
I'm going to go with Chris to Chinelo.
Okay, that's great. That sounds like a dessert. Okay. I will now go.
I'll go with Tyler. Fister could pick Ty Tyler Fister. You know that the boys at UVA. I had some funny fucking jokes about that. I, I do. Oh, you athletes with him. Yeah. Go for it. She's just having little sex bro. She's gonna call you back. There you go. Perfect.
Perfect. You know. You know.
Fuck. That's a good pick. My next one. I'm going to go with Larkin. Kemp.
Yeah, I had him last. I had my doubts and. I've never heard Larkin as a first name before.
I will go with Tre Red. Yes. Without red. Yeah.
And Callum Robinson. Mm hmm. I don't even have him. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Calhoun callin Alice Kalamazoo's. What is that name.
Yeah. It's as lax as it gets. Yeah.
All right. Lot of pressure from the last one.
Brad Self. Brad Serag self. I just like Brad self. Oh you have to have a chatterer Brad.
Yeah. Literally translates to I don't know, I don't have a good one for that one off the top of my head. All right. I'll go. All right. My last one then.
There's a lot of good ones. Should we go five rounds? Yeah. Yeah. All right. So come back. I'll go with that. Changes everything. Well, there's a lot left.
Yeah. To you. Yeah. I'll go with Brett Quaestor. I like that name. He also probably he probably tough time when he's a freshman at Duke. Being like a tweener you had to transfer in Chontosh Brett Keweenaw.
OK, Jojo Morasco. That's a good one, Billy.
That's a good one. And then we'll go with Matt Rambo. Yup.
That's also a good one. Is that he's the goat. Yeah, he is. Right. Yeah. And Matt Rambow. OK. Beast. Middy. All right, I'll, I'll go with you.
I like to stay name. It's not really lacrosse, but if you see if you see it, billies printing is terrible. So you always have to check the fine.
I didn't see that. Brent Noseworthy. Brent nodes were good. Fuck that's really. Yeah. I knew Billy's printer. Just socks and whatever he does, he can't print everything on a page. That's like what is that. Oh it's Brent Noseworthy. Okay.
All right. I'm I'm Dad's pick. Down to two here. I'm going to go these so Grant knows where these fucking awesome. I will go with Deamer class.
Okay. That's the team. Had him hired a dealer. Great name. Yep. All right. Hank, your last pick someone did. Brody Merrill, right?
No. Yeah. I got blazoned. Brody. Yeah, that's right.
I feel like this is just a lacrosse. I feel like this is like a lacrosse namesake. Like if there was a Mount Rushmore of lacrosse, someone named now ski would be on it. So I'll go with Matt Tomalski.
Yeah, that's a good idea. He's the 80s movie. He's the son of the coach. Yeah. Did do coach. Yeah. To now.
Yeah. He's just. It's just when you think lacrosse you think to now ski. Yeah. Ski. The two is the Duke. That's probably why. All right. So what are the ones we had.
I still had I look, I fancy talk boys. Sergio Saucedo. Yeah. I love the name. I'm presuming that I love the name Brad Smith just because it seems like a blue checkmark would be like, oh, you know, Brad Smith. Listen, a bar stool sports.
I can't think of anything like Brad Smith. Got him.
I liked Bryce Young Bryce. His good name. Mike Chin Chin and Chuck who? Yes. Jordan Wolfe. To last name. Wolf is fucking CIHI Warner. Yep. No one had P.J. Grill. No one pick. B.J., grow cuyler blistery. We said Cholerae, yeah. I also had there's two Notre Dame quarterbacks, Tommy Kelly and Connor Kelly. Those guys definitely there. There they come in for like two games and they suck. And everyone's like, go.
Notre Dame's not good team. Tim Russert.
CBS probably had some moss and bully problems back in the day. Was he a third baseman on the Reds? Oh, Tim.
Tim Trout, owner, Tim Nerd's Jackson Place, Johnny Sadiq Gennaro's Apple.
Jewelz Henning Berg, whose names are fucking migrate.
Yeah, that's a good one. Max Tuttle. Max Tuttle's good.
Another Gracie Raible. Another femal. Another fancy fuck boy. Joe Locascio. That's good.
Yeah. We should just to her dude fantasy. Fuck off. Oh. Should we switch fancy fuck boys to just looking also at our lacrosse. No, just come up with Inglot in Long Island lacrosse players.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Trower that team. Well here's a good literally translates. He's sick from Denver. Yeah.
Wheelhouse literally translates a funeral home. Mm hmm. Or Billy eats steak. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Joey Sankei.
That's like. Sounds like you got Daniels. Yeah, definitely. I know he's single. Yeah. Voice Jangles Matt Daniels. All right. That is our show. Yeah, that's our show, Brent. So see everyone on Monday.
Very excited for Monday show.
Yeah. Monday show is gonna be a big one. I love you guys, Billy. Take us out.
Hey, guys. I wanna watch guys about 2:00 today. You didn't prepare me. I didn't prepare anything. But I do have a lot on my mind.
I can talk about tomorrow. I won't be finishing my chicken coop. It's my buddy's birthday. Shout out, Rooney. Happy birthday. Oh, no.
She was a tough, tough, tough, tough. Why is he throwing already in the game?
He said no one's going to. Anyway, have a good one. Would you say that he missed her? Oh, go follow. Go, go, go follow. No, go fall. Rijad Sigue dumpers on Instagram. Big, big underscored dumpers. Please send me your dump trucks pics. Not me personally. The big underscore dumpers b.i.g. underscore DUI and PR s Danny still for sale. Let me get.