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On today's part of my take, we have Luke Bryan first, country music guest first country music. Yes, I believe so. First country music guest on the show. We're breaking some barriers. You recorded that song with Walker Wheeler. That's true.
Zeebrugge and that song on Thursday night is a parody of the country. Say, you know, this is a real bona fide country music star. So firsts for everything. Very fun interview, dude. Just knows how to name songs. Straight up, we have woad, free woad, hashtag free woad trending boge. Got suspended. We have bubble trouble. Who's back in the week and a Monday reading. And it's brought to you all by the cash app part.
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Violence in Iraq.
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I don't find this world thing is so fucking annoying.
Yeah, well he doesn't like. So he's suspended. And what's interesting is like how do you suspend a guy whose job it is to just like spread information? Is he not allowed? Is WAJD like is he muzzled? Can he not tell us? He can't tweet. He's awake. He's not allowed on Twitter. Why? I'm pretty sure that's part of the suspension. I, I assume it's a Bobby Bowden old school. Bobby Bowden, first quarter suspension, like, hey, let's let our R star quarterback.
He can't play for the first drive against Ferman in September. Yeah, it's kind of suspect. So Woad doesn't watch, didn't get suspended by ESPN. He went to ESPN. He's like, here's how long I will allow you to spend.
I'll put it this way. If we enter like week two in the bubble and Dwight Howard's anaconda kills him in his sleep, is Woodhill allowed to tweet that out in the morning? Does he have to sit on it and wait for Ari Abraham to steal it from?
I think he has. I think he's going to be suspended for like two days. He'll be back in two days. Let's see the whole thing.
I can't stomach a bird from singing. You can't stop a rattlesnake from rattling. You can't stop woad from dropping roads, bombs.
It's the worst type of suck. So worst element of like the Internet where everyone just yelling at each other and no one actually cares about any of this shit, but they're all grandstanding to care about it. So it's like the what about China? And then and then also being like, well, woad should be suspended. But I the whole thing sucks here. I don't know. We just said, fuck you. We should've said fuck you now. Yeah.
Dumb thing to do much. Kind of a hilarious thing to do. It was hilarious. Good luck with you in an e-mail is a hilarious thing to do. He was getting trolled and he let he let it, he let himself gauge it showed that he has his skin is a little bit too thin. He got trial. So it would've been one thing if he replied fuck you to any congressman or senator that sent him like a direct question. That's always hilarious to cuss out a senator.
I think we can all agree on that regardless of the party. I know that Hank wouldn't cuss. Would you call it AOC? Church one. OK. Which the senator or the congressperson wanted to Paul Zinta. Paul Creighton. Creighton.
Yeah, that's right. But what I'm saying no to either Notah either could take so you could respond, you know, in general directly on the initials AFSC.
I'd rather die with Derga. You could reply to any email directly sent to you by saying fuck you and saying fuck you to people is always cool. Right? But when you reply to like a chain PR email, they got sent to like 500 other people on the list. Serve with a fuck you. That's just bad e-mail, Mel. But watch is an idiot for getting trolled, but also the fucking rat snitch. Being like Lukla rude said to me, that's also lame.
That's also a fucking lame ass move by the reality is everybody in the world, at least in the United States right now, is a huge fucking hypocrite. And they're all narks and they're loser because you know what? You know, I'm typing on right now. I'm typing on a computer. I'm typing on a phone that was probably assembled in communist China in one of those buildings that they have to put nets on the outside to prevent people from jumping off to their death.
It sucks. It's just like that's the environment that we're in. And right now, verbal meme, NBA on TNT, they're doing the Jordan Peele Sweat thing, all the sweat spray down because they're like, I hope nobody asks us about Showell.
And also the weird part about this is not I could kind of understand, if you want to be like LeBron might be a little bit of a hypocrite for, like, completely. Yes. Shutting down the like. Let's not talk about China. We made a lot of money woes. Doesn't talk about politics. He just reports the new, in fact, would smash that like button on Dehra Maury's tweet.
That's like eight months ago. You remember that when Dehra mory was one that brought this all to light. Yes. Loads smashed the like button on that, indicating that he was supporting what they're Omori was saying. So, like, yeah, words probably should not have replied to this email with fuck you and probably felt good.
They probably felt good in the moment that he sent it, because it's always good to tell somebody to fuck off. But now he's just I guess Sham's is just take it. Taken over the world. Yeah.
I wasn't shefer was going to sneak in here too because the ESPN like is probably ChAFTA probably called up. Jimmy Kitaro is like hey heard woad suspension. I'm ready.
No, this is Ari's time to shine. Ari Abrahim, I know you've been laying low for the last year. Now's your time, buddy. I'm also willing to donate Leroy's account to WOAD.
If you need a burner woge, you can break news under Lira's account. I got no problem with that. I think he's gonna be suspended for like twenty four hours. He's gonna be back. Breaking news on Tuesday. Well, how can you suspend a person who's just, like, reporting news?
Right. It's the whole thing. It's and now people are just replying to everyone being like, wow, what about this?
Shut the fuck up. Everyone's a fucking door, right? Everyone's a dork. You don't actually care about this.
No one cares what any of it. Yes. No, I guess they're just it's it is the worst feeling better. Everyone's trying to win an argument and like, run up the score on each other and no one actually cares about what they're arguing. They just want points. Right. You want to fight the, you know, like points. You don't give a shit about the Muslims in China, too. Like, you should care about them. People should care.
In fact, I would say, like a senator should care about them.
But most people that are getting mad about this don't actually give a shit about that are all Dorson that and there's a new level of Internet that I've seen pop up recently that is really pissing me off. It's the solution to every issue is just start a patrie on or a subscription. Listen, some guy was like, if Woad got one percent of his followers to sign up for an email list, he would have thirty thousand people and all paying five dollars a month would be like one point eight million dollars.
Like, dude, do you know that there's more to it than just being like, let me break news to fucking twenty thousand people via an email list serve. Right. I think there's more involved than just like when shit goes wrong, being like, you know what? Let's do a subscription service.
I do like the idea, though, of words becoming a business like Bloomberg terminals and just like installing woge terminals at every sports media company in the world where like you pay fifty dollars a month to get one terminal where one person can log in and see what the news is and then you're allowed to break it with credit to woad.
Everyone's brain is broken now by patrie on putting the actual amount of money that you make every month. Yeah, so people just log onto Patra. They're like Dakar's making fifteen thousand dollars a month. What, and not even counting any of the overhead. Any other costs taxes pay the anything. They're just like, damn dude, it's like email lists. Serves are literally the future.
Yeah. So Billy, would you like to. Would you like to apologize to President Xi of China because you've been going after him a lot. We don't want to get in trouble on the show.
A lot of our listeners read things about China while we did. We. I'm with a and disavowing. Here's what we did was we took the we took the South China Sea back from China on part my take. Yeah. I'm just curious, like you, I don't want you to get canceled. Billie Jean.
Hey, Jean Ping. OK. Gosh, nice fuck. She's in pain. OK, well. We were built and we will happily talk for the first time, Billy. OK. We agree with your sentiment, but you can't use that type of language. So we're gonna need you to write an apology letter to Julian. Yeah. Yep.
Or else you're suspended from doing whatever it is.
Either way, we just sports. Here. What this hot dogs sometimes e we just need sports back.
They're just people are just running around just being losers. That's all day on the air. So speaking of losers on the Internet, there was like a big open letter gate last week. Oh, and God, I love. And this.
This is maybe my thing I hate the most about the Internet, but like, I can't stop looking at is people getting mad at the most inconsequential shit. So on like Monday or Tuesday of last week, there were a bunch of people that signed an open letter. First of all, open letters. Or if you sit down and you write an open letter, I don't ever want to talk to you.
I do want to look, I assume that in between writing your open letter, you are just farting into your cupped hand and snapping it all day long.
Yes. So the Internet got open letter and actually so in Harper's, I don't know. First of all, I don't give a shit what Harper. I don't always arborists is.
But there was an open letter saying, like, are you going to go to an Ivy League school to know that there is open letter, single and crossbones?
We never we should not discourage open conversation in this country, which I'm sure everyone is on board with that. Right.
And then you had like three days nonstop of people getting mad about the letter. Yeah. In Harper's. And people like going at Harper's and trying to cancel Harper's like nobody gives a shit about Harper's. If you if you don't work in New York media, don't give a fuck about hardbodies in order.
I still don't know what Harper's is and I care less about it now than I did last week. And then you had the people that wrote the open letter getting mad and then writing another open letter. Then there was a counter open letter.
Yes, open letter. It was an open letter off.
And I just have a theory that everybody involved in this feud is going to die 20 years prematurely because they stay so mad.
Yeah. And write a check. My favorite part about the response letter was a bunch of people signed it but redacted their signature, which is just the exact opposite of what, a signature. Yeah.
You know what the first open letter was? The Declaration of Independence. And John Hancock put his name front and center on Chinna REDACTED that on his festival.
Clydes is actually should've. He did get shot. So they should have all of redacted. Well, they all got canceled. Yeah, right.
I think if you look at the stats of the people that signed the declaration, I think cancelled, 90 percent of them got permanently cancelled by King, Georgia. And may I just add. When will Roger Goodell disavow England and their tyrannical approach to Northern Ireland so far?
And and England oversaw Hong Kong for a long time.
Also tonight, people in Hong Kong, the protesters also true.
Yes, we should. So let's. We're done being mad at the Internet. Yeah, it's stupid. No, Bill, you don't you can't talk for 20 minutes. Let's talk about something funnier. Ben Simmons literally can't throw a fish into the ocean. I his an ocean of more like a pond. But this if you miss this clip, Ben Simmons caught a fish down in Epcot and tried to throw it back. And he missed the water. He hit the hit the ground.
He hit the deck. He hit the down. Banked in though it did bank. Banks are open. How. He doesn't say like, yo, let's reshoot that real quick. Like we we can't we can't put that one out. But that was incredible. We also bubble trouble.
We have the first account of someone saying I've been invited to the bubble. So a female tweeted out that she's already been invited to the bubble. Do we know? Do we not want to say her name or are we can I send somebody that we know already? No, it's okay. Don't worry about it.
She's just a Twitter account and heard Pind tweet. Oh, on. Let me play her pin tweet. It's actually you. It's very funny. And the reason why she got invited the bubble. Let's just say it might not have been because she's wants to like talk about the issues in China. Her name's at Ugly Anna Gamertag. She's snacking.
This is her this is her pin tweet account. He's showing her asplen like a stupid bat, my ass. So she's she's officially been invited in. She said that? Yes, sir. Healthy.
Yeah. Korsnes. She's gonna be quarantined for like three months with the with everyone, I guess. So there should just be one woman invited. Whoa. What do you ask? No, I'm just saying you're getting in weird. I'm saying like one one single, right. When they're invited. I don't know what happens to that one. No. All the guys with all the guys would actually compete against each other in today's NBA on where you're too used to everyone teaming up and being friends.
Yeah, they start to play defense again 20 minutes, but.
No, I'll be good for competition. The sea at the bubble trouble. We're in bubble trouble. I don't know. This is I'm feeling somewhat optimistic that things are going to work out.
It's I don't know.
It's also interesting seeing the players for the first time really experience the quarantine, like most of America experienced it, because most of these players, they've got, you know, these huge houses are nice facilities to go workout and all that stuff. They were never really confined to their living rooms like a lot of America was. Now they're in this bubble and they're in these hotel rooms and they are getting their first taste of it. And they're experiencing it exactly like we did.
Like I saw one player being like, hey, if this tweak gets 50000 read tweets, I'll shock going to beer on Live Scows. JJ Redick. Yeah. Yeah. Is JJ so like that's exactly what we all went through right. For that first week. They're going to be like Loving Zoome meetings.
I also am very excited for the journalists who have now gone into Cuarón team being like pray for me, I have to be sitting in this room for seven, seven days straight. What are you doing?
Stop. I would go if I was asked to the bubble.
Do you think that'll be good for ratings to have just me as a bubble correspondent and therefore, like I know Fremont's know who had three months.
It's kind of fun. No, three months. It would suck. One woman only. What's your name? Ugly. It would be fine.
I think the players can do. I think the players are gonna be able to do whatever they want. I think the journalists know Goya. Yeah. We're just not going as journalists, not as players. Yes, I would. Let me take that back. I would definitely go as a player. I would go play in the NBA if allowed. We're talking about being as journalists. I would think that I think they're going to be very strict with them.
Yeah, they are. I think for me, like after maybe a month and a half, I start to look pretty good to a lot of the players.
Yeah. Mark Mark signed three was like depressing that after an even 120 nights in a row at home personal record, seven consecutive days and counting without leaving the room starts, ladies. Yes, that's the thing.
Yeah. So pray for our journalist friends who are seven days in a row who are then going to get all the interviews.
Yeah. And all the podcasts down now. So shut the fuck up. I've also heard that a Paul Millsap too.
He doesn't have a window in his room. Oh my God.
Oh really? They're dead. Wait, that's illegal. Yeah. I've AHA's. You can't have a bedroom with no window not to.
I lived in a bedroom in the window.
It's called. Right. It was illegal. Yeah I remember that crib's you did. Well it's Florida. Who knows. That's going to fuck with his circadian rhythms.
He's not going to know when it's morning all. Better get a sun lamp pronto. It is funny that all the journalists are like, man, this is gonna be so tough. And they then get every single story for the next three months. It's gonna be not a league they cover. It's gonna be nice job.
Imagine if you had, like, young kids at home and somebody was like, hey, would you like to go live in Orlando for three months away from your young children?
And you're like, oh, yeah, it's gonna be tough. Sorry, babe, I gotta go work. Cause three months ago I asked our hotel room and I got to go hang on my service every single day. All right. So we had that. We have a UFC fight island. Thoughts seem pretty good here. Am I? I mean, if I start here's a title of what it was.
It's the Mayweather fight. Who's Monde's fucking Mayweather? We're just born. Here's my. Oh, any stops with Tom Hollaway got robbed.
How he did get robbed. My entire thoughts on the evening are fuck ESPN. Plus, it's the worst app in the history. That is every time there's a fight. That's what happens every single time I bite on my phone. Doesn't work on my phone. I try to log in on my computer, doesn't work on my computer. So I try to log back in on my computer and I told I have to buy it again on my computer. What did I say?
I've got now I've got two receipts in my emails for purchasing this fucking fight. Then I log back into my phone. Still is working together on my computer.
Then I'm finally able to do it on airplane account. I do. It's the same log in on your TV. It's this because it's not on my TV. You don't a smart TV. I do have a smart TV, but I'm dumb. You definitely have it on TV. No, I don't. You should. It's an LG. There's no app for ESPN plus on my TV. No. The young lady. An ESPN app. There's no app for ESPN here, honestly.
One hundred percent an app. If you watch it every time there's a fan, Amazon Prime, you have an app for ESPN on your TV.
Every time there's a fight, it takes me 45 minutes and I end up buying what I listen.
I'm with you. I'm the one who initially was like, just give me a button. Old school paper view. But there's an app for ESPN on your cheap. I don't think that there is because I've looked high. You watch Amazon Prime. I watch him as I'm sure you watch enough. Yes. Do you watch Hulu? Yes. There's absolutely an app. Espalier TV. I haven't found it yet. You can you can download. I deleted it after Wolds replied to the senator.
I thought that was highly inappropriate.
So I'm not supporting them anymore. Yeah. Fire Island. It was I mean, it was good to talk about sports. The title fight did suck.
Awesome. I don't like getting like I'm all for like, you know, like guys punch each other in the face, but that all day long. I had to look away. Yeah. That was I was discussed. And then he just popped up, was like he looked fine.
It was it was probably a minute.
The fight was stiver angle too. Was brutal. Yes. In his face. Just watching him. Yeah.
They could have stopped that fight a minute earlier and it still would've been 30 seconds too late. Who's Mondo foot stomping? I mean, that's just that should be a league. It should be any. It's more like just a pride thing, dude. Like beat someone without stopping their toes. Right. It seems like gonna stop your toes to death.
Like they outlawed the fishhook for the same reason. It just sucks to have it done. It also felt it did feel like a Mayweather fight where you're watching and you're rooting for Mozza at all and you're like, oh, if he can just catch him once and just never happen because his mom is just a beast and was able to just wear him down. So I don't know.
In the end, I think you have seems like the way it's different than a Mayweather fight or big box we review is the undercard is always gonna be worth it. There'll always be some big fights, but it does always suck. Being awake at like 2:00 in the morning and having the big title fights suck and you're just like, well, okay.
And then a bunch of people tweeting you like dude to cable. Do you spend money on that? Yeah, I see. Not always. Can't figure out how to stream shit illegally.
And also we want to support our friend or stream shit legally now. This is they should have Losman and could be like and McGregor and and Mossop off. Yes.
Dahlby awesome. Yeah. I hate it when they match up any rapper with a boxing ring. Yeah. Yeah. But at least Weeb, when he when he grapples someone he like, he just basically terminates. Yeah. He doesn't just he doesn't grap him to wear him down. He's like I'm going to tap you out and fuck you.
I'm going to put my shoulder through your face. Right. I'm not gonna like lay on top. I'm going to break every bone in your body.
Shout out thug rose. Yeah. To fucking cool name that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
If your name was thug, is there any chance that you would not go by thug if your name was thug. Yeah. She goes I would go by thug Rose. Not just rose your way if your name was. Say it again if you're not in the suburbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rose she needs to imply more heavily that her name is thug. Right. Wait. But her name's Ro. I think her name's Doug Rose. No, her name's Rose.
I thought her name was Thug Rose. No. Her name is Rose. And Thug is her nickname. OK, Rose or Nick.
That makes a lot more sense. Her name is Teehee. This is this is a very like you're talking my dad last like five minutes.
The point is thug girl is pretty cool. The point is I could download it and then the sound cut out on the fucking livestream and then every three minutes it would revert back to the minimal size video. And I have to get up, walk across the room and hit the full screen button again.
I was this person, a thug. I know what I'm going to name my daughter now.
Actually, no, we don't say to her anymore. Yeah. Possie. Rose P. No, he doesn't. No, no, said Hewat either.
We say watch right where they say he was trying to say.
I was trying to say thugs. I was trying to say like, oh, slug. Rose. Rose. Yeah, yeah. Rose. Yeah. John Bayle idea slug rose. Like a slug out there. All right, let's do let's see who's back the week before we do that, Peter. You have an ad real quick. I do.
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OK, let's do who's back the week. Hank wanted to start my who's back.
The week is cake Katan the Banach cake going the distance take cake. OK, well how so. Are those a tweet.
I mean talk about some really stupid shit that people are talking about online but this is good stupid. This was like the stupidest shit.
But it's like one of those things where it's like you, you got off your phone for day. All of a sudden everyone's talking about cake. There's a video that started from Tastee, whereas a video titled These are all cakes. It's like a three minute video and it's just all you should watch it if you haven't. It's just all these. It looks like a crock. It looks like. You know, like a science set.
It looks like a bar of soap. It blew my mind. Makes it looks like a laptop, like it looks like a head and just any just cakes and everything and it's just cakes.
So then everyone convinced themselves that, you know, maybe the world is just a giant cake.
I like like the matrix, the cake. I like this.
So we're all just one giant piece of cake. Okay, that's cool. That's a good way to look at the world. These delicious cakes are shaking in their boots. It did. It did fuck me up for a little bit.
Like, I just look around and you have to wonder, is that cake? Is this desk a piece of cake? Am I made of cake?
No. His desk is from Wayfair. It's OK. It's bringing it's shot into us. So it's pizza. Yes. This desk is right. No. Okay, you got it. But everything else, a pie. It's actually the whole world is just way fair. Products with children abducted and cake. Okay. I should one the other refineries.
I checked the PMC assignment desk that I built because that was purchased off wafer. Know no kids.
No I we need Suezmax so bad. Man we're so online. It's so bad. World's going and say it's so fucking bad. That said, I guarantee you those caking to do they looked awesome but I guarantee they they.
Tastes like shit. Oh yeah.
Because they have to use like the different sugar. Right. To make it like the hard sugar and stuff. Yes. It's a good song. It's a complete waste of cake. Right. It's it's like this was a show cake boss. He made some good cake but he also made some cakes whereas like this cake looks incredible but it tastes like shit. I'm going to make a cake that looks exactly like a cake and it's gonna be fucking so good.
What about a place that looks like a pie? You have to be cool. Have you mind? Fuck.
What if the world was just like one big cherry cordial and so the center of the core of the earth is just like liquid. Goodness. That would be good as well.
That was one of the, you know, already home ice cream cake. I'll give you I'll give you a verbal meme of an actual meme. But it was like an astronaut looking at the world getting cut in half as a cake and his speech. All that said, the world is cake. And there was another astronaut behind him with a gun that said it's been cake the whole time.
Oh, please, just shoot him because he's gone out, but he's going to shoot a cake. Who's the guy behind him with a cake gun? Who knows? That gun isn't even loaded. So the second astronaut is is the baker.
He's like the one that designed it all. Yeah, right. God is a baker. Damn. OK, this is Colin Coward's an atheist. High, but it's good. What is your. Who's back. Week before my.
Who's back. The week. Yeah. I do feel high right now. My who's back that week is taxes. Oh. So yeah.
Taxes are due on Wednesday. I almost forgot to. So I mean in this economy, in this economy, taxes are backing.
We got a delay. And when they gave us. Oh, wait, wait. No. Because they they got delayed. But now we can get our extension. Oh yeah.
No, I'm going to. I always have. My ex says what does is our extension delayed or is it October 15.
I think the extensions delayed. But don't quote me on that. She. But do you really want to be paying taxes in December. Yeah. Ah. During football playoffs for me. When you're down a lot of money.
You traveling. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tax write off. That's true. Yeah. Perfect. Good point. So he Abilene's legalized. Taxes are back big time.
No, Billy, you're almost up. Yeah. Billy. Oh my. Who's back? The week is supermarket sweep. It's on Netflix. I guess. And on Netflix or some one of these apps for a while, but has it in place on Netflix now, figure out how to watch it. It was. It's such a fucking throwback and awesome. You should if you don't remember it because you're too young. Watch it. It's a hilarious show set in a supermarket.
It's pretty much exactly how it sounds.
It's like guys grocery games in standard definition. Right.
But it's. But it's also funny watching like, the very relatable moments of, like, one of the guys that they bring down three teams, two and trying to find stuff in a grocery aisle, which is the hardest thing in the world. But then in front of cameras and with a buzzer and a timer, and then they have to go through the with the carts and everything. It's a great game. It's also just weird seeing like the hair and the fashion throwback to, like the 90s.
It's it's a different planet. We'll see.
What was the game where they just sent you through a supermarket and whatever you could fit in your cart. That's got to keep that supermarket sweep.
Okay, so that's that's true. Well, no, you're being the winner at the end. You fit. You try to get as much as you can. You could fit. You could fill your cart that you can bring it back and get a new cart and you try to get the biggest grocery bill. You only take five of one item and you can't spill anything. I would just go for the cologne.
Well, cologne and grocery store is like so overpriced, but you can get a shitload of it.
It's like hams, hams, the cheeses, the ground, coffee, some of the nuts. I would just I would just take my shop car and go to a Whole Foods and then come back to you like, look at this Yanbu diapers.
There's a whole strategy behind it, but it's a great show. Fluminense, the big flaming yarns. There you go. Until you can talk now. So who's your who's back.
Who's back? The week. I won't go with bats. OK. Yeah. Bats cause corona and I'm also dealing with a bat problem so I might die of rabies in five months.
So why might you die Arabia. Have you been balser like last night. You have a bat. I found a bat at my house.
And you kill it in your barn. I chase on, say, your house.
It's a barn. So I was running around like trying to find this bat because I went to my neighbor's house to get a tennis racket and they came back to kill the bat. And then at the bat was gone. So I couldn't find the bat was hiding somewhere.
He doesn't kill Adam. Yeah. You hold the bat knows your reputation with. Did you leave the door open?
I there was a window open, but then my basement. I mean, the whole thing flooded my home because of the bat, not because of the tropical storm. My barn flooded and the bat was flying around and it was just like a whole situation. So anyway, after all this chasing the bat, I couldn't find the bat in the house. So I went to sleep. But turns out you're not supposed to do that because the bat can bite you in your sleep and you don't know if you're sleeping that flood.
No, I. Well, I have a raised bed now. I took the matches.
Oh, congrats. Yes. So that's a big step in any young man's. Yeah. It's the second that you get a bed frame and like maybe even a box spring. Yeah. So then the flooding get me.
So why are you wearing the Vibram shoes? Billy is wearing the show shoes or toe shoes that that early cross Vitters and weird. Your dad's dad's Billy Ibold dad. Yeah I ackers in mountain climbers and see Billy right now hit from the waist up.
He looks like he's ready to start the second civil war with his Hawaiian shirt and from the waist down. He looks like he's ready to catch that fuckin roadrunner. You. Those shoes, the Vibram that you're wearing, the toe shoes, you basically are saying like, I live in the suburbs, but I'm committed to living in an extreme outdoor life from 2:00 to 5:00 every Saturday.
I have rabies. OK. So why are you wearing the shoes?
Well, I worked with them on to make my day and then I haven't taken them off since. That's all you have to. That is weird. You've been wearing one half year show. Yeah. I saw them off. No.
What does he walk through your flooded basement and then just getting in bed with them. Know, I washed I sprained out the hose outside the mall. And you wear them to bed?
Yes. He sleeps and sleeps in them. Yeah, you can. But you can do a lot of sleep sleeping. Then you can go chug a gallon of antifreeze.
And we want to know, you know, I'm sick and tired of an impressionable audition.
I knew you were physically capable days of chugging a..
You shouldn't. I'm saying there's a lot of things that you can do, but like sleeping in wet shoes. They weren't wet.
I vibro. And then earlier before before the show, you're like, I'm going to stream all night tonight because I gotta catch his bat. And I was curious how streaming call duty is going to help.
No, I don't get it. I stay up all night to find this bat. But you're going to be focused on the game, right?
Either. Yeah, well, I'm going to see the bat flying around my mind, like I'm gonna be playing in the basket fly. Right. Are you going to do that? Yeah. Pause the game. Catch the bat. Because if I catch the bat, then I can test the bat for rabies so I don't have to get a bunch of shots in my stomach.
You've got to watch that one single. I'm like, I'm going to catch I mean, kill it, but you can't.
Something about how are you going to test this Bouser Rachel's Molly. You call the Housing Commission or something. Yeah.
And they're going to be like, sure thing, Billy football. We'll be right out to test your bat. No, you rate the bat.
The thing you're going to do. They're going to show up. They're going to take the bat and they're going to kill it in the fuck in the back of their van and they kill the eye. You can't crush the bats skull you're going here by.
Raises. Oh, my. Our bill. Here's what you do, you open up your refrigerator and you turn all the lights off in the house and the bat will be attracted to the light.
That's moths. Have you thought about dressing up his joker?
I actually might turn into Batman.
That would be a sick way to do the stream. Yeah. Best dressed up like Joker the whole time. I mean, come on out plan.
Joker isn't like funny anymore.
Like cute. It's just kind of everyone just taking it. Well, he's got mental health issues. Right. Why. Why do we fucked up the joke.
Then why don't you be the Jack Nicholson version of the Joker? Damn one's fucked up, Mr. Penguin. Not really. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Are the Riddler Allen. Yeah, the Riddler's. I mean, pants people you love.
You love masks. Oh, I'd be Bane. All right. So be brave. Where's the boss? There we go. Perfect. You got the voice warzone to keep going.
Give us some else.
Nobody cared who I was until I put on these shoes. That was me. Who said that? Yeah, that was me. All right, let's get to our interview. We got Luke Bryan coming up in a minute. But before we do that, Woop Woop is a fitness wearable that provides you daily insights on the performance, your sleep power covered, your body is, and how much exertion you put on your body, whether you're looking to lose a few pounds.
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Here he is, Luke Bryan.
OK, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is country music performer. He won 2013 Entertainer of the Year by the Academy of Country Music, where he's got a new album out. It's called Lee Are Born Here, Live Here, Die. Here is Luke Bryan. Thank you so much for joining us, Luke. We appreciate it. The new album. Let's start there. Live here. Ah, sorry. Born here, live here, die here, whereas here we're talking Nashville, we're talking Georgia, Georgia, Leesburg, Georgia.
Bill little peanut, little peanut girl in town down in the south west part of Georgia.
OK. Would you say that you're the most famous peanut farmer from Georgia?
If I'm not, I've got trouble.
Well, I'm looking right now. Jimmy Carter only has 67000 Twitter followers, and you've got like nine million. So I think.
Hands down. Jimmy handled. I got I got Jimmy Day. But, you know, it's a little bit of a misnomer because I wasn't technically a peanut farmer, but I worked in AG and we owned a peanut meal so we would buy peanuts from the farm. Got it.
Yeah. OK. That's high. And that's how we get our peanut butter. You know, we in the stores and everything. You're the you're the guy with the powers.
So the first process is the farmer, the farmer to grow it. The second process is for my dad's meal to get it out of the field and get it ready to go to the shell and plant for four peanut butter.
OK. Would there be like a certain peanut butter that your dad's peanuts would go to, like where you were Reese's family or a jif or what?
You know, there. Well, there's several currently. You know, I never knew when they went off from us. You know, they go out and they just become a commodity at that point. So it's like I could never test at some point. I think we were selling to receive quite a bit or that they made it good work.
So. So you put dye here in the album title. So I think it's fair for me to ask, have you thought at all maybe of getting like a peanut shell casket when you do eventually die in like 50 years, 50 years?
They can play 60 years. OK, long life.
But can we make that a reality? Yes, a good chance. You might have eight months.
OK, nice. We've had. You're nuts. They're delicious. So real question here. So the new album is coming out weak July 13th. Is it weird that you're not able to tour this summer? Like what? How is that thrown off your schedule? Because I assume every summer since however long you can imagine, you've been out on the road playing songs for people, especially country music, summertime. There's nothing better.
Yeah, I mean, it's been a it's been a learning process to retrain my body. On what sleep feels like. Like, I mean. I've slept more consistent for you, not slept more consistently for. Never in my life. You know, even because hail you roll out of college, I rolled out of college and I went and worked for my dad. And then I went from working for my dad to leave and and going and getting in the music business.
Now, you know, I've kind of been like a regular, regular dad. But. So but, you know, it's been pretty you know, it's just been a big a big learning thing, you know, my wife and I, we haven't divorced yet, so I'm pretty proud of that.
Good. Yeah. And but, you know, the main thing is you really, really get accustomed to work and a lot and you do miss work. You know, it's fulfilling. It's fun. It's exciting. It's crazy. I mean, being on a tour bus, playing for fans. So certainly miss that. But. You know, trying to, you know, try to travel a little bit and see some spots and have some funds, you know, fun stuff for my family.
My nephew graduated high school and he's gone off to college. So trying to really have some have some time with him this summer. Yeah, it sounds nice.
Yeah. When you were growing up, where was your family supportive of you getting into the songwriting game or were they like, hey, we need you to be a peanut shelling plant manager?
Were there was any pressure to follow in the family business?
You know, my dad knew my dad was like, get your butt out of here. You know, he was really my mother, too. But, you know, they they were they were hard working people. And, you know, I think you'd be amazed. I mean, I've met so many artists, so many country singers and songwriters that their parents didn't have their bad their parents, just their parents almost shamed them for having a dream. And, man, that was my scenario.
I mean, my my parents were like, we want the best for you. We they believed in me. And, you know, so they were or it was they were just trying to kick me out either way. They were just they they were excited, but they they were really behind.
What was it like when you were trying to make it in Nashville as a country music singer? Because I would assume everything I know about Nashville, it's just full of people trying to make it as country music singer So was it competitive? Was it like night in and night out? You see someone you like? Oh, that person. Where do I stack up against them? That must have been an interesting time and place to be.
Yeah, it's everything you just brought up. I mean, when you. When you leave Georgia and I had developed a pretty good little college following play in bars and college bars in Georgia.
So what kind of you know, I kind of thought that. You know, I kind of thought that I had it. I was a little bit ahead of the game. You know, I'd spent a lot of time performing on stage, but I've never really recorded albums and I've never really had a big time. I've never really written a lot of songs.
So when I get to Nashville, you know, I'm trying to figure out, you know, you can get. You can get. You can deviate off your path. You can kind of go down the wrong road and inhale. Next thing you know, two years. You know, you just wasted two years. Well, with me, I was a little more mature. I was twenty five years old when I moved to Nashville. So I was a little smarter about, you know, Will.
I was kind of like with these guys, they know they're cool dudes, but they really don't seem like, you know, they're just drinking and partying all the time and they don't really have a clear vision. And then so I kind of was was able to really focus in on the right moves to make and really, really hit the ground running.
And man, just, you know, and then you start, you know, the main thing was, as I got there and I started working my butt off right away, I started riding a lot and I got I've got a publishing deal on Music Row. Right. And, you know, two, three songs a day going out kitchen shows, networking, networking, you know, and then and then I realized real quick that I was a I was a little fish in a big time, you know, and I had to add to get better fast to really compete.
I mean, because that's what it is. I mean, when you moved to Nashville, you know, you're competing for all of the other guys and girls that are trying to get on a record label. I mean, they're all you're vying for a your vibe. You're you're you're you're competing for a small spot.
So you better get good quick or you'll be in and out of there. So thankfully, I met some really, you know, smart people that showed me the road song. You know, did I make some mistakes? Did I lose some money? Some I did some things that cost me a little money early on.
But you worked through it. And thank God, you know, you come out on the other hand and man, it's amazing. Now, me. You know, even when you feel like, you know, you've made it. And you can just go enjoy having fun knowing that you made it. Yeah. You know, and you have to you don't have to doubt. You know, you don't. I don't have to doubt. Was it worth putting it all on the line?
I mean, I know it was. Now just make sure I go have fun from here to the end of time.
Was that like writing songs for other people and thinking like at the same time you're trying to make it as a solo artist? Are you are you writing a song? And you're like, man, I could I could sell this to Travis Tritt or I could put this in my back pocket because I know this one's a hit.
Yeah. There's a lot of stress that could happen in those moments when you're you know, I never really when you know, some of my early songs that got recorded, obviously Travis Tritt recorded one and then Billy Current and had, you know, had a number one song.
And I had a little bit of anxiety about releasing the songs. But my gut, you know what? If I'm waking up, you know that the thing that some early. Some early artists and songwriters do is they act like they're never gonna write another great song. You know, if you if you think that you're going to write one or two great songs in your history, then you're really not aiming high. You know, my approach was as long as I'm showing up every day and I'm writing my butt off and I'm work and work and work and, you know, better songs will come.
And what actually happened is I was able to learn and hone in who I was as an artist and what I was going to be even better about writing more songs. You know, I mean, even the first couple of songs I wrote, you know, they were just songs that I just wrote and I went and recorded them at a demo session. And hell, I wasn't even singing, you know, I wouldn't you know, my voice hasn't he hadn't even reached what it would become.
So it's like anything, you know, you know, in even in sports, you know, if you're a great route runner, if you're a slow, slow receiver, but you're a great route runner, you can you can figure out how to catch the ball.
You know, you can. And so with me, I mean, out I had all the tools, but I hit and lined them all up at the right time. And when you finally land them all up, you're right and great. You're singing great. You're performing great. You're making all the right business moves. That's when it kind of. That's when it goes to the next level.
So you I don't you're kind of a genius when it comes to the naming of your songs. Is that intentional?
Because it's so straightforward for people who don't know some of my favorite names like Bryant songs. One, Marguerita drink a beer. That one's about beer. Do you have. Let's see. There's other ones. Knocking boots. It's just straightforward. My favorite is we rode in trucks like, you know what that song's about. Now, they do like I'm being honest, though, that the simplicity of it is kind of genius because it's like this is what the song is about.
Here you go. Do you do that intentionally?
So you're going on the record. Call me a genius. I actually think that I think a lot of times people overthink what they're trying to give to their fans. And you know what your fans want. And Country Man, that's a song. There it is. So when you came by Drunk Ass Home, that's a song like. That's just. It's there. There it is. I want a real one. That's a real one. Take my.
I love it. I think it's it's a we need you. There's some genius in it.
Were you a Stone Temple Pilots fan? I used to dabble. Yeah. All right. What's the interstate love song about, Daryn?
That's about that riff. This song is about a riff, the.
So, you know, I remember being a kid and I loved hell, I love Metallica. I loved, you know, I loved. But, you know, like Pearl Jam. I never understood what the hell they were talking about.
Well, Jeremy, that's pretty straightforward. I mean, a crazy kid. Yeah. And rats.
Yeah, you're right. You're right. Yo, Leadbeater, you can't understand what he's saying at all. Right now, I'm not knocking their music. Now we'll get some hate mail. But it was amazing. I mean, I played it 24/7. But, you know, I think in country, you know, countries really good about keep it. You know, there's there's a funny it's almost like keep it simple, stupid, you know, just keep it simple.
You know, have some fun. You know, I've always. You know, I've always. Anytime, man, I could put a big old swan song out that you don't really have to try to cheer the world of of all of its problems. I mean, man, like, you look at one Marguerita. I mean, that's I mean, do that.
I've I've gone about two years. That's that's may become my biggest song of my career. Right. And man, it's just big soul and there's nothing scientific about it. One moderated, two moderated. Three Marguerita shot.
Now who don't want to do it. Right. Right.
That's my point, though. There's there's some types of entertainment that it's OK. I think there's I think what's happened is people look down on us on certain types of entertainment where you turn your brain off and just enjoy it. Right. And that's kind of what this is like. You can turn your brain off and enjoy it. There's nothing there's no deeper meaning than, hey, look. Drinking margaritas is fun. Let's have it. The sun's out.
It's a fucking fun time. You have that other song, Sunburnt one. The Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset, Sunset. That's a fucking day. You just explain.
They told a story in a song. Time Rises. You get a little burnt sunsets. Hey, keep it simple. Stupid. Yeah.
So have you thought about just throwing it out there? A title. I was thinking maybe just drunk again or just like bassets.
Sun's out, guns out. That's a song title, right, Luke? Little devil on the outside. Yes.
I give him an autobiographical song. You could maybe take down one of those slower. Get to get the. Get the. When they do the blue mood lighting on stage, you sit down on your and it's just I'm Luke and it's just solo when I can ride shotgun and shit.
We just. Is it okay if we just dooryard some song titles and you can, you know, bounce them off.
Yeah. Hey you guys, you know what you meant. All right. We can in five minutes we can we can write my next four hours. OK.
Lumis Daisy Duke. Who might be a little too much. I'm a little confused.
Loomis Day them daisy Duke jeans are cute dogs. Hunting dogs. Hunting does this rusty fender. Rusty fence.
That's a good one. Whoo! That's. That sounds like a NASCAR driver.
Yeah. Dirty tires. That's pretty good. I'm all about that. Good time. Yeah. Relaxed. Let me say baseball. Oh, black smoke. Good. OK. What about ball game? Ball game can get weird fast cars faster.
Women in parentheses ain't all they cracked up to be.
What about just what about just game day.
That could be any. Oh yeah. Game day. ESPN cannot mess this up. No. But you should just ride the coattails on that just. You bet on game day. You could just call it. Not so fast, my friend.
See, we're already that's 12 titles right there.
Now, the next album, I think I actually tweeted, I think I had a tweet and like 2015 where I said, Oh, yeah. Finally, we get Luke Bryan on college game day. That was sarcastic. Just say, you know. Was it yeah, was I don't they play they play your songs all the time on game day. So I think I was being sarcastic. Yeah. Like finally taken.
That can be taken as to what. Yeah. Yo, Teddy. So listen, today is we didn't even plan this. By the way, today is a monumental day.
When he heard Tuesday, Marguerita Day, Taco, Tuesday, my mock English cocker and my chocolate lab debuted on barstool Instagram to debt. Oh, what?
A year ago? Two years ago. How long? Just today. Today. Oh, Jay. Oh, wow. I got go look at. Hold it up. You should have a song name English Cocker that could get confusing.
That could get cocker English.
Dog days. But it's actually just about dogs. What about a day in the life of your dog? What about cock her.
Two different words. You said it, not me. Yeah, OK. While we're getting stuff off her chest, I had a tweet from 2015. This is when the Panthers were playing the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day. I want to be open and honest about in case you did your research ahead of time. I tweeted Luke Bryan more like puke, Bryan.
But but in fairness, that was a fraud tweet on my part because I wasn't even listening. I was in a bar and the sound was off and I just figured I'd jump in and pile on the roast that was going on. I ended up watching the performance late. I was like, that's actually pretty good. So I'd just like to apologize in case you'd seen that. And also ask you, do you read your mentions on Twitter?
So not me. You know, man, your first few years in it, you want to beat everybody says.
You just you do and then you just you do it, then you just chalk it up to like. You know, there's been some dudes that like if I see on, yeah, I'm just going to have say some name names now, huh?
But I got them. It's just like I just put them in the low, low, redneck go redneck on your ass part of my brain. So, you know, I didn't have that side of me. I'm just really good at controlling it.
Right. But but you made it, like you said, that had to be the moment. Like, what was the moment that you officially said, you know what? I've made it. Like, I don't have to care about what people say about me.
I had. I had. I've got a buddy of mine. Get as Luke. Just anytime you get pissed off at the world, just reach down there. Pat that front hip hop.
I like that. That's it. That's very good advice. Yes. What, in your opinion, is the greatest country song ever written?
Man, the greatest country song ever. I mean, historically, he stopped loving her today. You know, when you look at. You know, it's hard to top that one. But personally, my favorite country song is what I'd say. It's a song. It's a it's it's an old Earl Thomas comedy song called What I'd Say in its. When I was a kid, it was the first time I remember being a kid and going, man, that dude is hurt.
His ass is hurt, you know. And that's why I always stuck with me. So interesting.
I've always wondered because I grew up listening. Country music. What is a honky tonk? How is a honky tonk different from just a bar?
Well, you know that the key elements of a honky tonk or a solid US dance floor. A tip, mostly a jukebox. It spins vinyl records. Just obey it like a band in the corner behind you. You know, honk, you know, honky tonks, you know, the hockey honky tonks were man, they were a thing of beauty back when they were most, you know, honky tonks typically had or washed your shale's in the parking lot.
OK. So somewhere around the golf maybe. What's there? Somewhere around the Gulf of Mexico. Well, but. It was just it was just another fun little element. I mean, if you're walking into a place, it's got neon neon lights, certainly neon lights in the wind jukebox, you know. A day, a small dance floor. I mean, I play, you know, just shady oak care. Is there you know, you got you got people that just they're just there every day.
You know, stonham have shoes on. Some of them don't. Satchmo's mangy, mangy dog laying in the floor.
That's a whole no air conditioner. Yeah. We play a game on this show called We read a headline and this headline. I need you to explain it to me. This is actually from what? City state?
This actually from like 40 years ago, Luitel here, Luke Bryan's wife, Caroline, attacked by Turkey with a bad reputation.
What the fuck? So here's the thing. People will actually question whether it whether I'm country or not. I'm like. Well, I don't get anyway, read the headline, dude. Yeah, your wife's getting attacked by turkeys, so we. So I've got a buddy, I've got a buddy of mine that thought it would be funny. So we've got this little rescue animal barn and we've got some little miniature horses and donkeys and we've got sheep and goats and all kinds of stuff.
And my wife's man, she. She goes down there and feeds these animals every day and loves all of it, man. It's her like it's her. You know, she gets it know every evening and she drives down there. She loves all these animals. It's truly like what she does to get away. Well, I've got this crazy buddy that dropped that damn attained white turkey drop, you know, dropped the turkey off. And his name is Al.
And he's become kind of famous, my wife post pictures of Al all the time. So Al lives at our farm where we've had him about three years. And my wife just loves the turkey. You know, the dogs go down there and literally. The dogs go down there and just walk the shit out. I'll know. Just attack him, tear all his feathers out my life. I'll take him to the vet. He'll stay at the vet, grow his feathers back.
And then, you know, so about once every six months, you know something? Wolf's owls as well as Owl is grown and become a mature turkey. The wild turkeys at the farm come and wipe his ass about once every three days. Owl has gotten more aggressive with you know, you've heard of like cockfighting, Ryan. Well, the reason why, you know, they have spurs Turkey's head long spurs. Have you ever seen. Yeah. So they're about an inch long, will our Spurs are an inch long.
So my wife is feeding at the barn and she turns to get on her golf cart and that damn turkey runs up and spurs her behind the kneecap.
And, you know, you know those two big tendons that run behind your. Yeah. You know, the two big ones that run on your knee can't be that spur.
Hit her right in that. Oh, in. Folded her up like. Yeah. Folded her up. Trees.
So where does this Turkey's reputation come into play. It feels like maybe they were demonizing the turkey.
But the headline he's become. Well he's become just famous from his shenanigans. He's always you know, he'll run the cable guy. He'll run the cable guy up in the, you know.
You know, he he hates me, like if I get out of my truck, he'll he's trying to attack me in, you know, Turkey's let's just say poultry in general. They don't. If you go kick the hell out of them, they don't remember that you kicked. OK, guys who don't.
They don't. They don't go, oh, this guy, you know, they just don't have that elements. So we we we captured Al and moved him to another farm way out. OK, good.
So we could have had a reputation somewhere else.
You've got to have a song, you know, big hour or hour with the band. Yeah. Big guy. Bye bye.
Yeah. If I were you, I would need you. Did you see my dogs on its own? Yes, on a very good looking dogs.
I was very good looking. I would have insisted that we eat big owl like the ultimate bit of revenge.
Well, let me just say that you remember that little red neck I went red neck and. I drove to the barn to rid us. I mean, when you so first of all, when a turkey spurs you, Caroline, my wife, she get on steroids. She had new antibiotics. Like, you know, you don't know what kind of bacteria is on a turkey spur. I'm like, you know, that's all I need is my wife to die from a damn turkey attack right now.
So anyway. But I went down there to handle I'll like, let my dad would have, but my wife pleaded with me.
And now I really I mean, I have so much money invested in that turkey, you know. You know, like those those those tuna, those million dollar tunas that they catch and shipped to China, you know, for the pursuit of whatever.
Yo, yeah. My price per ounce price per pound is probably the same as ahi tuna. Yeah. I was gonna, I was gonna enjoy from his. Yeah.
He's got a story behind him now. I feel like there would be a bidding war for the for the rice out. But you pardoned him like you did a presidential pardon on a turkey. That's very noble of these doors.
Moral cute man. These dogs are some good looking dogs, well mannered vets.
You couldn't pay me money for those dogs. Those are out.
Yeah, well, I mean, you're you have a lot of money, so. Yeah. But still, you know, everything has a price. A billion dollars for one of your dogs. Never in a million years. Two billion dollars of ten. Now, what do you said, Bill Healy. Yeah. Big in there. They're out of there.
I got it. We got your dogs. We got him. How many PELOSO How many people go?
Was it Barbra Streisand that cloned her dog? Yes. Yeah. So Barbra Streisand on you just call clone.
How many pickup trucks do you own? He's counting one, two. Three. Three. That's it. Well, I've got a I've got a silver a Chevy Silverado. That's, you know, this mug that I drive. And then I've got the best thing I ever did is I've got a Denali that I put like thirty three point thirty five inch tires, eight inch lift. And I totally, like, made it look like a transformer, you know.
OK. So my Denali is essentially a truck. And then I've got. Well, I take that back. I've got a couple of farm trucks, some of my farm. Yeah. And what about after all. Yeah.
If you have a truck that's from before the year 1980. That's like the first truck that you let your kids drive.
Yeah. Six years old. I mean, you got you and you also, you know, your your your Chevy Silverado, that's your debt. You're probably going out to dinner truck. That's your city truck.
You got to get our job, you know. So my brother I lost my brother in 96 and he had a white Silverado and my wife went and found it. And we read we read regear did not have that truck. And it's awesome. A 96 Silverado.
That's pretty sweet. You you have like the perfect voice for a country music singer.
If they drew it up in a lab, I'm talking like the ideal voice of a male country music singer. Do you find that a lot of people in Nashville, like, have to work at putting on that inflection, some that comes to you naturally?
I think that if you're working at it, you know, maybe you can have a few hits and fool people, but I think wants to contribute to consumer kind of goes, you know, this gatta and talk blackies scenes and it's almost like two. I think they start sniffing you out. Yeah. You know, you you know, you can you know, the biggest thing, the most important thing for me is, is to make sure when they come watch me in concert that I sound like the records.
I remember being a kid and going and watching a senior and I'm like, oh my God, he didn't you know, he he's a phony. He doesn't sound like you didn't sound like it. That's always been a big thing for me. But but, you know, I mean, I think the true the true talents that rise to the surface, I think I think they're authentic in what they're doing, you know. I think when when you when you get up in that level of T and toil big hits, you know, I think you you've checked all the boxes and you deserve to be there.
Do you still get nervous before you go on stage?
You know, not really. I mean, it depends on the environment. You know, like when I did the Super Bowl at the anthem, you don't get more nervous than that. That's the highest level of nerves. But I get jacked up and ready and fired up. You know, I mean, now I'm not you know, I'm not run around, you know, busting bottles over my head and people are slapping me in the face, getting me pumped up.
Let me I you know, I enjoy the thrill of going out to perform. I mean, man, when when the lights go down and you can feel that energy in the speakers, I mean, it's it's the best drug in the world. I mean, you know, it's just it nothing gets. Nothing's better than that. Yeah.
When they asked you to perform the national anthem, did you know what the over under was?
Well, here's the deal. Are saying it lab no track, which, you know, I'm not bragging, but I don't know if anybody's really done that. You know why? I mean, how did I do?
I've done it like seven times. But, yeah, go ahead for our rough and rowdy.
What was interesting is that every time I performed it one minute, it'd be two minutes. Eleven seconds. The next minute would be to 14. So so when I got in the mall. So when you walk out there to perform it. Like I realized that I was doing pretty damn good. I was like at my confidence, started building within the moment. And then I started milking you a little bit and counter trying to, you know, because once, you know, the biggest part is walking your ass out there in the announcer go.
And ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, right here to perform our nation's anthem. I mean. If you hadn't shit in your pants by the end, your probably you'll make it, you know. Yeah. And then when I started actually singing it on key on time and you start hearing the crowd start, you know, everybody's like, well, you know, you start hearing all that. And then I started milking it. Now ran over a little bit cos I call some of my buddies a little bit of money, but hell with them.
I had I had one last question. I read that before every show. You eat a whole bag of leaves, potato chips. Is that true?
That is that's an old deal. That was I used to eat them in the studio when I was singing a little bit.
OK, so you don't eat them anymore? I tend I don't eat them before a show that not known, you know, out, you know, the beauty of a potato chip. Let it be all and the salt is really sued. So if your voice is really like if you guys are on the air, we should start doing that again. A lot of korkin and your voice is about known and you want to soothe your voice a little bit.
Eat up, you know, eat.
Always get more potato now. I never knew that. Is it always. Is it true that you get a better singing voice the heavier you are?
I don't know about that. I know that the male voice reached full reaches full maturity. They say at 38 years old.
Oh, so maybe one day you're saying. Yeah, we haven't peaked yet. Something to look forward to. Both 35. So we got three years. Lovera years. And you're ready to move to Nashville? Borz. Yes.
Become a star. Were you jealous and upset that you didn't think of the word chillax bifurcation first before Kenny Chesney did on Jasni?
Yeah. I asked for a damn, you know. I couldn't even begin to spell that.
Do you know what chillax bifurcation means? Because we figured out with the chill part. The Laks part. But what's the occasion?
We'll see, I love Metamucil. So let's not be laxative like chill. Yeah, they're not. No. You've made your choice.
This is what I asked. Luke is a genius. He would have just his toilet has been less chill and relax.
That's right. You know, I'm thinking about bowel movements and how healthy that is to make your day go.
Great. Yeah. Just chill out. Chill, Toure. Just chill out. All right. Well, Luke, there's been awesome man. Born here, live here. Die here is out this week. Going to run it the week that it comes out. We appreciate you stopping by, Veha Zoome. We'd love to have you on in person next time you're able to travel on your New York City. But there's been a lot of fun, man.
Hey, thanks for having me, guys. Love the show, man. Luck said. Thanks for having me on. All right. Thanks so much. I haven't got one.
Have a great summer, ok.
Thanks. Salute, Brian. Awesome interview. Before we get to segments, we are brought to you by our Friends Act Cross Rope.
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They Riggo Jakes got all the pronunciations. I saw some highlights and I saw some highlights because it wasn't on TV.
How how how do they have a golf tournament when there's no other sports happening and it's not on TV because they were too busy doing the broadcasts of, like the pro-am.
It was who was in the pro-am?
It was Kyle Williams from the bills. Darren Dodd. Darren Darren. Darren Williams was in there. Allen.
Yeah. How is like the MLB having the blackout? You have a problem. You have a problem with your stories when people would rather watch people from other sports playing your sport. Yeah. The best people at your sport.
And it was thrilling and awesome. Yeah, you're right. It would basically be like we the NBA is back. Let's watch the celebrity game from last year's All-Star.
Yeah. Let me again watch Wogan's Schefter go one on one high.
What's going on? What is going on? Golf. Do we need to fix golf? I think we do. Who should Brooks to start and then on off rocks anymore. No more Joe Buck. Really? I said bring it back to Fox.
We involved the U.S. Open, though I'm pretty sure they didn't re up their contract or somebody had a dish. Who's got this year? Yeah, but I recently remember them all tweeting, like all, you know, we were doing so much stuff with with Fox. It's a shame that it's over.
You want to fix golf. Yeah. Make the balls different colors, neon colored balls for each player involved.
Cleatus the dancing fox robot. Yes. Even when it's on on Fox, let everyone do the same steroids embracing D Shambo.
Doing. Allegedly. Yeah. Throw Bryce in Shimbo into into a well. Sheer what? U.S. Open to return to NBC. Beginning with this year's championship.
I think you just pull it on Joe Buck like that. Oh, poor Joe.
Would he do to do so? He said. Go ahead, Jake. I have the reason why the golf was on TV. They moved it up to seven a.m. this morning due to weather. So it's still slated at three p.m. But yet contractually they couldn't show it this morning. I guess Ildar has no other.
Ishani just figured out, yo, build it, go weather issues they would have had.
This is why they need someone who just sits in all of these things, who's playing on TV, the whole writing.
Which is electric hot dog competition was on, too. They just need one person at all. These companies at ESPN, CBS, NBC, who just sits there and he's like, wait, this makes no fucking Satch. Just put it on TV. I'll answer for it later. I would love to see Chris Berman get back involved in golf. Yes. That's actually an easy way for him to get back in front of a camera, just like send him to the best golf resorts in the world.
And he also doesn't really need I mean, golf, golf telecasts. The best part about golf telecasts, when they put, like Verne Lundquist, like 17, sits there and he just announces that hole all day.
Yes. It's awesome. Yeah. Berman could do it from his living room. Yeah. Just give him like a glass of iced tea in a lazy boy recliner and Boomer will deliver. You guys ready to go?
All right. We have a drunk idea. What was this trunk idea?
Yeah, we just we were talking about this earlier and a drunk idea. Well, it was a I consider all of our brains to be kind of drunk right now. Well, online we are.
And how how difficult this last couple, three, four months has been without any sports.
But it is kind of a drunk idea. It's what if they made a video game that was just an Obama simulator? So just Obama.
You get to be Obama in the White House?
Well, not after. I want to make my Netflix special. No, you don't get to do that. You have to be in the White House. So you have to deal with like you have to, like, go play basketball with whatever person from USC is over at the time. And then you have to, like, go to the Situation Room and try to double tap somebody from al-Qaeda, get to like make new drones with your bare hands.
Do something cool. Tweet something cool. You get inside a BAEO. Yes, sign it. BAEO up a mike drop of my drop. And Mike, you get to sounds like the most boring game of all time.
You get to let's see your chillin in the Rose Garden and you have to give a speech and then some boring ass reporter has to ask you follow up questions and you can, like, throw something at them.
Yeah. I'm out on. But on the Obama on the Obamas, it definitely was an idea. I was half listening when we talked about it.
I think it's a great idea. I was scared when I heard it. That's why I'm out.
Are you saying it was good, though, because you feel like play basketball with Michael Jordan and like, OK. He didn't describe the part about how like the video game with the drone.
It's going to be like Michelle's.
We like your point off your game and it's like, get off your game. VVS Arie playing Call of Duty and like NBA 2k. Yeah, but in the White House. Yeah. And then and then Michelle comes in and she's like, you want to fuck Obama? And he's like, yeah, I'll fuck you. She's like, okay Obama, you're so frustrated. You just try to do an Obama. No, I didn't. I didn't hear you say, yeah, well what's Biegler I've got.
Oh, don't listen. Please don't. I've got I've got a massive erection here. Please, though. I'm mean, going to use the pocket veto. Okay, we're showing you a video, you know what I mean. On the idea of we don't to any.
So. All right. OK. They released it for you. Let's be clear.
Someone's got to make you.
Who's that guy who made those video games? Remember him like he was making all those games online. Three point shooter that was so sick. Where'd he go? He's come back when you get to build your own death panel and be sick. I want that guy to come back. Maybe he can build it for us.
It's called Jade Home. All right. I'm going to take over Texas right through the ad to the ad.
I can't get off the game. Billy three. Hello, Billy. OK.
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OK, let's do our Monday reading before we do it. We're going to absolutely admit this is most likely fake, but it's still hilarious and still a great idea and still a good Monday reading. So we know we're not dumb. We know. But if it wasn't, it would be incredible. Okay. Here is my 25 year old boyfriend keeps asking me to invest in his soup tube business idea, and I'm not sure how to deal with it.
Sounds like a good idea. Yeah. Wait till you hear it, because it's even better than I initially thought. Okay, here it goes. I've been living with my boyfriend for about seven months. Two weeks ago, he sat me down and presented a PowerPoint presentation with his business idea.
This that is just a hilarious visual to begin with. Do you think she's rich? That I or just like I need your backing, like we're about to sink everything we have into this idea, into my subconscious. I want you to be right or die with me. Yeah.
It's always good when you have to put together a deck for your spouse. Yes. A PowerPoint in the living room. That's where that's where real business gets made. I knew he'd been working an idea, but he didn't want to tell me about it until it was finished. Based on his enthusiasm and his prior seemingly intelligent nature, I thought maybe he'd be a pretty cool idea. Instead, he presented to me an idea about soup tubes, the idea, if you can call it that.
Whoa. That's already really judging. Anyway, the idea of you can call it that is to construct a series of tubes throughout our city that leads to centralized soup kitchens or a monthly subscription. A customer could subscribe to a tube of soup and a tube extension would be built off the nearest mainline tube and directly into the customer or apartment or home.
I love how how in this guy's imagination, cities are like that. You've got power lines, you've got waterlines, and then you've got soup that shows soup tubes.
Yeah. Connects every single thing together. He this is I mean, it is genius. Yes. I mean, find the flaw in it difficult to pull off. Yes. But genius nonetheless. So based on subscription level that would determine the quantity of soup a customer could pour and how many types of soup. The tubes are basically the size of pipes like you might see under a sink. But he insisted that it must be called soup tube, not soup pipe tube just zings better.
I completely agree. Yes, a soup tube soup, too.
You've also got that cross promotion thing going on. People. Are you saying YouTube? Yeah, kind of sounds similar to that.
What would what would you pray to get like some kind of chilly cereal?
So soup. What two did you get hooked for? I would get four tubes, maybe a caulking clam chowder, maybe a. Feel like a chowder would get a little funky if you didn't clean it.
I don't know. Chicken, chicken noodle. Just some basic chicken noodle, tomato, tomato soup. Tomato, basil. Yeah. Be good to ideally an ice cream. Five or six tubes in my house linked up. Could you imagine that? Like the property value to when you're looking for a new home. I like this guy already has 10 different tubes installed.
Dude, it's it's huge. So, like, you could waste your time going to the grocery store and buying Kansas soup or you just put your bowl underneath a fucking tube in your kitchen.
This also is kind of the way that like in in an Orwellian world where we all just like the government, just puts tubes in all of our homes. And just instead of going there's no grocery stores anymore, they just like pump food through the tubes to us. You're gonna eat. We just eat, you're gonna eat whatever the fuck we put into yours, like, oh, baby tube.
And then there's no, like, an adult to it's like Soylent.
And yet we're basically at the Soyland age right now. Yes.
This would actually work with beer. Legs, physical description. Yeah. You know, you're right, you're right, beer troops at work. Yeah. Like people would actually do that. Yeah. Peer, too. Like the younger burger, this guy. Yeah.
He's got some beer tubes over your tubes.
That's a problem. That's intellectual property. Jelly football. Billy, just fucking flip this thing. Beer tube.
That actually would work. Yeah. Also a check that show. You turn you turn the entire town to a bar. Yeah.
Just just a single keg in the middle. Right. So reservoir of beer they could sell a watertower is just a beer tower.
Yeah. Hey, everybody.
I like that. Okay. What's beer.
Tulkarm. Is it is it taking yet? Yeah, it is. It's definitely taken fucked up. Why don't you just have it be like pure alcohol not taken. No buying that shit here.
Tulkarm purchase it to drive that Zonker cut this dude buy.
What if you just had pure alcohol and everybody just had like an I.V. drip all the time.
So everyone's walk around buzz or patches. Patches. Yeah, patches. All right. Let's get back to soup too. But I like your idea, Billy. Good job. I couldn't believe what I was hearing at first. I asked if he was crank yanking me or something, but he was completely sincere. Obviously, the idea is completely insane. The notion that the city would authorize somebody construct a series of tubes everywhere to carry soup into homes is, of course, ludicrous.
And even if such an initiative was approved, the cost for such an operation would be ridiculous. Now, this is this is a this is a naysayer and a person who doesn't dream.
Surround yourself by positive people in your life because she is being very judgmental. There is always a million reasons not to construct a site just out of metal tubes that feed soup from a centralized location. But if you really want to get into it, what this person has done with their idea of soup tubes, they just pitched their girlfriend in the living room. And now the world knows about this idea. Right. So it seems to me like the marketing is already taking care of.
Right. And it seems like it's a great idea. Right. It went viral and it's like, hey, soup tube. You'd have to charge outrageous prices for customers to install and subscribe to a soup tube. And who would pay? I just love the name soup, too. And who would pay for such a service when canned soup costs like a dollar or two? You have to fucking go out and buy the canned soup. Idiots.
If they asked Henry Ford what what Americans wanted, he said that they would have said build a faster horse. Right. He built a car.
I also I would assume the soup to its fresh soup. Well, we would assume so. You're right.
Maybe hope. Maybe they just buy all the can. If I'm making soup tubes, I just go to every fucking grocery store in town. I buy all the cans. Assume you have no choice but to get your soup from me.
Right. Or you can buy soup from a restaurant for food. Few dollars again doesn't come in a tube. I explain these things as politely as I could. But he dismissed them and all I said that to base soup delivery is the wave of the future. He then asked me how much I wanted to invest. I told him nothing and he looked absolutely heartbroken. Since then, almost every day he's asked again for me to invest and keeps trying to sell me on this idea.
He's also doing the same thing to a lot of his friends. I want to be friends with this guy.
It sounded I was going to say at the start of the story, I thought maybe this dude Loston fancy football last year.
And this was like the big bet that he had to pay off was like, OK, you got to pitch day riak the soup to buy idea. Yeah. And you have to stay committed to it.
That could be one reason why this is going around right now. But I think a much more likely reason is that this is just a great idea.
It's a fucking great idea. I would like no exaggeration.
I would pay I'd probably have like five or six different soup tubes installed my kitchen right now out of the Monday readings we've done, David Busters, guys, number one, the dude who what would he call showers? The guys start talking like Sopranos. I like Tropeano.
Yeah, I'm gonna hit the Japanese number two. Soup tubes. No, like a mouse guy. Oh, yeah. I was going to repeat what I said about the mouse guy.
I hope that guy and his girlfriend are doing OK.
What about the guy that just jerked off onto the rug next to his bed all the time? Yeah, that was weird, too. But I like soup tube guy, so let's finish this up. It has started. Drive me up the wall first. I'm at a loss at how he can believe such a stupid idea is worthwhile. Second, it is really God damn annoying to be asked on a daily basis to invest in a system of soup. And third, I am also concerned for his sanity.
Other than his apparent obsession with this, though, he has shown no other signs. I would like some advice as to how I can reason with him or whether I should even continue this relationship to Longdon. Read My boyfriend wants me to invest in a business venture wherein tubes would deliver soup is fucking genius.
You know what it is? He's just reverse engineer the toilet. He's also this is it's the exact opposite of taking a cress and sending all your ways to some. This is like the circle of life. What if you team up with a sewage treatment plant and then all of a sudden you've got a monopoly on the consumption and the Illumina has. Waste. This is also a child of corona virus like this is a guy who's been sitting in his house all day looking at the same fucking wall and being like, damn, I wish there were some tubes coming out of that.
One was soup. These are the type like corona virus. And the pandemic had been terrible. But there will be genius ideas like soup tubes that will come out of this and we'll be better off as a society.
I think what's going to happen is it's ahead of its time. And so 75 years from now, we'll all have systems in our house.
Yes. And we'll look back at this guy and be like, can you believe that? We laughed at him, right.
I don't think I'm on the right side of history here, dude. I'm I'm I'm ready to go as far as to say that we should tube everything, like we should have human tubes instead of cars. I never want to leave my house. No, just imagine if you wanted to come to work and you just got sucked up in your human tube and you're spit out here like everyone's working on. Yeah, like we're at a bank. And you're just starting out yourself.
I like that quick meal with the suit. You just quickly, like, put your mouth on it and you'd shown this. It showed the soup and run. It's hot. Well, you will maybe you can just set your temperature how you want it, because I don't feel like special occasion.
Cook for like a family meal. You want a hot soup, but a quick soup if you wake up.
Is that all you can eat after you subscribe? I'm sure it is. And think of all the time that you would save you.
Wake up, you're late for work.
You stop in the kitchen real quick, just like shoot a shotgun load of like 70 milliliters a clam chowder into my throat and I'm out the door.
Why couldn't you just then open up a soup restaurant with all the soup tubes and just undercut them? You have to.
That's a resellers deal. You have to have a license for that. Right? That seems like who mutal.
So why would why would anybody go to the soup tube restaurant when you didn't get your soup to your house? You Jube, didn't. Initial installation is cost prohibitive. I would understand. Like someone I would imagine that soup tube, you know, what they should do is soup tube. It should be like Mortgage's. You can basically, you know, you can get a down payment on your soup tube, install a monthly.
You put it on layaway. Right, exactly. There's over. I'll get a soup tube for everyone.
The American dream is everyone owns soup tube, a water fountain in a soup fountain at the playgrounds so the little kids can sue.
Yeah, especially in the cold weather. No one will go hungry. That's true.
We'd eliminate a big problem in today's society. Boom soup everywhere. I love it. I listen.
I really do enjoy this idea. I think I would unironically purchase. This is absolutely if you could talk.
If I could just hit a button and have soup, any kind of soup in my in my like bowl at home.
It's like a Coca-Cola freestyle machine except for soup. Right. Imagine that. It would be incredible. Soup tube. Yes. Beer tube. You're going to buy beer. True.com. Let's see how much it costs. OK. There's no way he's good.
I don't investment. Yes. Would you invest in beer too. Yes. Perfect. Hundred dollars. OK. What are you going to do with it. He was trying to.
Who's just doing the math on how much a speeding ticket was.
Yeah. Yeah, he was. All right. I want to I'll give you one hundred dollars, but I want 15 percent of the company. Okay. Perfect. Damn, that's a low valuation, dude. I'm just gonna buy a beer bong NBA.
This is the prayer time I would you like to be. I just it's a really long beer bong. I go stand up on the roof and I pour beer into it and it goes in various rooms.
I, I'm going to hire some employees and be my buddies. I'll pay you hundred dollars.
Just take off those stupid fucking shit. Usually pay twelve hundred thousand. Yes. No piland. Take them on a small offer. All right. It don't take it. Don't take them off. Our Wednesday we have Tim Woods back so. And Dragons. That will be exciting. We'll see everyone then.
Let me guess. He created some. It's pardon my take schools.