On today's part of my take, we have Michael Strahan and David Arquette, too, for we also have the start of the NBA playoffs, both one seeds lost today. Damn, the playoffs are off and running. We had all favorites on Monday and then huge upsets on Tuesday. We have some baseball unwritten rules, guys, on ChiX packed Wednesday show. Pardon. My take is brought to you by the cash and I was the easiest place to send money to your friends.

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Today is Wednesday, August 19th, and the Lakers are dead. Laker Dan is down. Well, I'd say Laker Dan actually worked his magic.

Yeah, no, he actually worked perfectly. What are you doing. Let's try to make like a bong sound plays up plays.

Oh that's right. Go ahead. Explain to me Hank and Charles Barkley are high on the Blazers right now. And I mean, they're fun team to watch. Why don't why do you hate fun? Big cat?

I want to rehash them on Monday. I don't hate fun whatsoever. Damian Lillard is so much fucking fun to watch. What I've said from the start is the Blazers are going to win this series and they're not going to win this series. That is the worst shooting team I've ever seen though. The Lakers, the Lakers are I don't even know if they practice shooting. They're so fucking bad here. And LeBron was doing this thing that he does every now and again where he could take the ball to the hole any time that he wanted.

And he was just settling for a lot of really bad threes. He's like scared of his own powers.

It wasn't even long. LeBron, though, because they just everyone shot bad. They shot fifteen percent from three, which is like in insanely low number for an NBA team. Danny Green, you stink. I don't know. Everyone stinks. Dwight Howard looks weird.

LeBron James pass it to add in the and the clutch at the end of the game doesn't want anymore. Truly is a wash.

Yeah, their offense is broken. It was funny before we sat down to tape this, Hank was talking about how like he is he's rooting so hard against LeBron, he roots harder against LeBron than he does for the teams that he likes. And Big Cat was like, you're going to burn yourself out early. Yeah, I think there is some truth that no, they're not going to we're going to need you. We're going to need full Hank eight in the tank for the next series in the series.

After that, if they can somehow survive the gentleman sweep coming away from the Blazers.

I am, I am. I do want the Lakers to lose very badly, but I just don't think they're going to lose this series. How about guys? So I'm not going to get my hopes up for this series for LeBron to lose this series, because I just don't believe that's going to happen. Carmelo, just have no respect for the bowl MVP. I do have to say, you don't think it matters. You don't think it matters. Great respect for the bubble MVP.

I think Damian Lillard is so much fucking fun to watch. I just I'm not going to get my hopes up for a series that I don't think the Blazers are going to win.

I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but you know that theory where if you like, buy a red car, all of a sudden you notice all the red cars that there are on the road. You're like, wow, everyone's got one of these. Every time CJ gets the ball, he goes, tween, tween, big cross, big cross.

Step back to Freedom Blaster faced off.

Yes, he does. It's his thing is his signature movie. It's like his crab dribble.

So so I, I like the Lakers. They're not going to win the title I can guarantee you that.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Can you watch them tonight.

I was like, this team is broken. I do still think they're going to win this series. Maybe I'm wrong if they don't win the series and LeBron is done. No, I'll go. That's kind of what it is like. It's either LeBron and Eddie are still have their powers or if they don't, then guess what? They're done. I mean, he's still young. Yeah, he's he's fine. But he also is being held down by LeBron.

He's being held down LeBron. But yeah, I mean, he did have a triple double tonight. But I still think LeBron is that kind of guy where you just expect him to just be like, all right, now we're going to win, is afraid to be the alpha with LeBron around him.

That's the question that people are asking.

Also, how so fucking bad if free throws? It's crazy, man.

No, it's crazy to see those disgusting tunes. Squadrons is. Yeah, he's all right. This is a popular opinion alert. I like the shorts part. If it was just the shorts part of the jersey I'm all in, but combined with the top.

No, thank you. Hard pass. Yeah.

I looked like they were like used to wipe up cocaine on the set of Miami Vice. LeBron, just like he was, he was, he was like pimpin it too much.

The jersey on his walk out. I like it. I didn't like it. It kick it over to the east. I actually do think that the Bucs stink. I think. Yeah, no. So Hank Magic earned their points. Hank, I want to give you credit and for saying the being the first to be the bucks stink guy. Thank you. That was your call. You were right on that. Maybe not right on the nets, but that's OK.

They almost came back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like them.

They did bad. If they looked any better KD would be like, hey, maybe I'll play for this team next year. Yeah. Hey, you know, if Gordon Hayward to get injured yesterday, I'd be in like basketball nirvana, like everything is going his way. Everything's wide open. Yes, but hey, we're getting injured like hurts a lot.

It's been a bad couple of days for gas and ties with guys who sprained ankles around Hank. Yeah, I think that I think the Clippers are still the best team, but I think the Clippers are still the best team.

Who is David Stern rooting for in the finals? So I want to see for the ratings problems first LeBron Yeah Giannis Giannis versus LeBron would probably be the ratings bonanza but even still I don't or maybe no be Lakers.

Celtics that would probably be it. But yeah it was a good first two days. I mean basketball all day is the best, the only other one that, the only other game. I mean I watched every second of every game because it was so awesome. The passing is technical, foul was bullshit that game and Lukáš is incredible Lucas. So fucking good. And I love whenever an announcer starts talking about a guy's hips and they talk about Lucas hips like all game long.

Yeah. Mark Jackson sound like he's not just oh not just paint the side of his leg white. I thought that the Clippers actually looked like dog shit on defense. They they're supposed to be the team that can shut down any high scoring team out there. They're the team has the best perimeter. They've got playoff up. Yeah, they've got Pat Beverley. Yeah. And they were not able to do anything against the Mavericks. Well, they won.

Yeah. But I'm saying like the Mavericks, the Mavericks played really Mavericks offense. Insane.

The Mavericks. Luca is incredible. I don't think anyone can stop looking like I don't think that's a I just don't think there's anything to stop. Luca. That's how good he is. I just think the the first the first round teams are getting themselves. I mean, the Clippers, like, have barely played together as a team. But I, I still think when the chips are down, likewise the type of guy I just don't care how he looks right now, it's like once they get to the end of series, like in the Western Conference finals, like that's all I care and tip for the youngsters out there.

Follow your shot. Kawhi was following a shot, he always thought, and he was getting all those rebounds. Mr. Fundamentals.

Then you guys also see the most reliable club of all time of him walking in the arena. Yes, yeah. Like an iPad out. And and he just looked down at his screen. But you could see on the camera that there was nothing pulled up. But he looked down when he was walking past everyone. So no one said anything to him. Right.

He was that was just the home she was charging. Just the home. Kawhi probably just walks around looking at an iPad and he's just like, this is amazing technology, just like fascinated by the by the screensaver on it.

But yeah, good. First two days. I mean, this is like I said, it's it's fucking awesome to have sports on all day long. So what else any other takeaways from the first two days. I mean thank you. So Gordon Hayward gets hurt. I mean the Suns are going to win that series right now, even without Gordon Hayward. They're good. The win the series.

Gordon Hayward, I don't know about going forward. I mean, he might be back for the for the eastern final.

You're here my fifty year. He might be the team in the east. Now, the wide open he Tyler hero baby you now, are you going to be conflicted though, if the heat go very much, you'll have to very much admit that Jimmy Butler. Yeah. Very much really gifted about this. But Jimmy Jimmy Butler selen twenty dollar cups of coffee but he's making money. Hey buddy. Yeah. Listen, the bag doesn't sleep Jay, but is making the most out of his time down there in Florida.

But yeah, he's listen, I am going to be very conflicted, but I think with this heat, it's not about so much, Jay, but as is there their top twenty team, top twenty third top twenty team. He's got the ball and he got.

Yes.

I think that if, if the Lakers do lose to the Blazers or like LeBron gets hurt, I actually think a Laker fan might try to kill me. Now that's possible. Yeah that might act. You have to go fight somebody in Temecula. People just need to have my back. All all the Lakers haters, all LeBron haters like Hank. You need to start having my back more Laker, Dan, because we know what happens with Laker.

Dan, I can't support that one because we know what happens. But OK. Yeah, that OK. Yes, I agree on that. I'll be your boss. All right. All right. Billy, you're my bodyguard, you know.

So there's that picture, that big cat post where it's him as the Laker fan with the trophy on his head. Yeah. You remember the Laker brose, those guys that's a media kind of went away. It's like to billy football. Yes, I know. High five each other putting on sunglasses. Just saying, bro, that is you Billy. You look you are awesome.

We do that. Billy Billy Lakers. Are you going to yellow security shirt. He'll be sick. That would be sick.

All right. So then we have hockey playoffs. The caps are still alive. Still alive, baby. Still alive. Todd Reardon got a brain transplant after the first period. The fight is really what turned around a lot of scrappiness out there and almost all takes some time. Somebody alerted me to this. And this is another good time. Wilson excuse. People are saying that Tom Wilson pushed the guy to the boards when in reality he was trying to prevent the guy from skating headfirst into the boards, probably saved his life, but they were saying that the boards in Toronto are livelier than they are at any other hockey bounce to us.

They got bad bounce to the. Bored, so Tom Wilson, actually, if he boards somebody in Toronto, it's actually not that bad. OK, it's like pushing him into a trampoline. Do you ever think, like, at some point the amount of excuses that caps fans have to make for Tom Wilson's? Like, we just spend all of our energy just making excuses for Tom, maybe for some Caps fans, but not for me, because I'm so used to making excuses about everything that I get.

It's like a lot of it's a lot of energy spent on that. Have you noticed? I think it's you could mind like all the Bitcoin in the world if we just took all the energy caps fans used for Tom Wilson. Denial.

Yeah, Darkcoin. That's what this one is. So there's something about watching sports, though, and having like a take that you're willing to defend to the ends of the earth that makes watching sports more fun, like with you and Melo every single time that every time you miss a shot big, it was a kiss. And every time Tom Wilson gets away with doing something borderline dirty, I'm like, yes, it's just I could not say yes.

I laugh when Melo does. Melo does a fucking crossover and then Brixham. Yeah, you chortle but I, I laugh. But what I'm saying is like it's fun to just watch sports and root for your takes.

Yeah of course. Of course. I mean if the Lakers like lose this series, I'll be like well I've now stuck myself because I do think they're going to win the series.

But if they lose the series, I will ultimately be happy because I don't like the Lakers and I want LeBron to lose and be like a first round exit. But I also would be wrong. I really want the Lakers just lose in the next round. Yeah, yeah. I would be the perfect spot.

And we are watching the Blackhawks and the Golden Knights right now. It's three three, I'm sure. Assume they win. Second, I'm going to win.

I love the Blackhawks goalie pads. Yeah, they're awesome.

They're like Brown. Listen, youngest team in the playoffs. There you go. Yeah. You can always you can always fall back on that. If your team loses, you're like youngest team and it's three one right now. Right. This takes out the fact that their best players are the oldest players in the team, but the youngest team in the playoffs. How sick would that be if both the Blackhawks and the Capitals came back from three nothing in advance?

Would it be unbelievable?

You might actually say it's bad sportsmanship for their opponents to be swinging away when they're up on a three no count?

Mm hmm. Yes. So we should talk about that in high school. School thrown. We can talk about that on high school thrown. Anything else we have about the playoffs? Oh, hard knocks. Hard knocks, hard knocks is a bummer. Hard knocks a bummer. The only thing I took away from hard knocks tonight was Seth Ryan.

Rex Ryan son is skinny as he's like a Bienstock that sucks.

He's like the Deuce Gruden or the Ryan family. Most in shape of all.

Yeah but no. But see even Deuce like John, John has muscle. He's just an old guy. This Seth sets. Ryan is like the opposite. He's like an old body. Yeah. Yeah. I just I don't know, kind of bummed me out but they did a lot of tonight. You could tell Hard Knocks is really struggling this season and I'll give him a pass because it's very tough probably to do. But they had like six different flashbacks to previous hard knocks.

Seth Ryan, you remember him hard knocks twenty ten. Andrew Whitworth. You remember him hard. Knocks Twenty twenty nine. He's kept on doing those.

I did like that. We got our first hard knocks spiral this season. The herbut pass. Yep. That was a sexy slow mo spiral right there that was sexy.

And in McVay music that was, that was great. I got, I got the blood pumping for a minute, a solid minute.

McVeigh started doing the Monday Night Football theme song and it was fucking electric and they they like dubbed it in with him doing it. And it was like, oh, football's coming back.

And then we also saw Jared Goff hitting Holdem Hole in ones because he's just like an incredible ass.

I'd forgotten he was left handed. Yeah, that's a big mindfuck. Yeah. We've been in that house. We checked on that golf and we almost broke a window. I think I fucking Skold one like into the neighbor's yard.

Yeah. I was thinking back to that because people are like, well you went to Jirga's House is we're watching the Caps games we had we had hard knocks on Game of Thrones. That's right. So we watch Game of Thrones, Jared Goff s and I just remembered I went to his bathroom and he's so rich that he doesn't even have locks on the doors. Yeah, that's when you've reached it, when you're like, fuck it. You know what?

If somebody walks in on me shiting, I've got six million dollars.

Yeah. I don't care. You know, it's probably good for them. Yeah, they get a show. All right, let's get to our hotseat. Cool thrown hotsy cool thrown is brought to you by our friends at Bud Light, Bud Light Seltzer hotsy cool thrown brought to you by Bud Light Seltzer on the hot seat this week. Our beer runs with sports being back, our friends at Bud Light. No, you can't miss any precious seconds of the game.

So head to Bud Light dotcom slash delivery and get ice cold. Bud Light and Bud Light seltzer delivered straight to your door so you don't have to miss any action. That's Bud Light, dot com delivery, Bud Light dotcom slash delivery, hotsy calderon. Billy, why don't you start.

Oh, thank you. I would like to put the Bengals offensive line on the hot seat.

It was a gif that was released of. Joe, running for his life in training camp wall for defenders, chased him and a lot of people are saying seven defenders.

Yeah, it was a lot and it was saying like, Joe, maybe opt out. Hmm. He was quick, though.

Yeah. I mean, he's on the hotsy. Just the offense. Yeah. If it's tigers chasing you, you don't have to outrun the tiger. Just have to outrun the guy next to you.

That's what they say. Yeah.

In my cool throne is the monsters, because as Hank commented, we already mentioned that Brian James, how did you get a hot sequel to Untaken when you already when you went first?

Because we were discussing. So I'm starting to think, as Billy said, we I always get screwed because I go last and hotsy calls are now I'm realizing I think that's just a built in excuse that you don't actually come hot seat is always me.

Yes, I'm going last. She is Hodzic. Oh, my God. It doesn't have any cool thrown.

Banana boats. Oh, because Mel versus LeBron. There you go. OK, and we're back. Yes. Nice job. Cool. Turn me. All right. Hey, go ahead.

And Jake, I have to use the Suns. Yes. So, so good.

You're probably thinking, you know, everyone's talking about the Suns. They they were trending on Twitter. Everyone's talking about the Suns. Sun Suns probably think maybe it's because, you know, they won eight. No. And they're not in the playoffs. People are mad about that.

It's not because that there was a clip on a no jumper podcast of an Instagram model talking about how she sucked off seven guys on one NBA team in the same room at one time.

Alanis Morissette.

No, I don't know. I don't know what the references. And then it came out that it was the Phoenix Suns.

So everyone is just talking about, like, how the Suns all got sucked off in the same room. Wow, cool. Throw in Devin Booker. He was first.

Well, he's. Yeah, naturally, yes. He's a he's a ball dominant. I don't know that. Allegedly first. Yes. Allegedly first.

But this definitely I mean they went eight. No. Right. So is this going to be a trend. Yeah.

I mean, I mean, Tom Brady's drinking fucking fake, you know, like cabbage juice from Alex Guerrero. It's just if a team gets sucked off and goes, we know that that might work. There might be the new team TV.

I'm hoping that this was after the bubble because then we could that could be our gone fishin instead of like Photoshopping a team like, oh, no, I think it was before the bubble, just Photoshop lined up.

It was just she was telling she was recollecting a story. Yeah.

It sounded like it happened in the bubble. Yeah. No, definitely not in the bubble. And I was just laughing, thinking about, you know, like the Phoenix Suns, like front office and like the people who run their PR being like, oh, you know, we want ain't no in the bubble like could not have gone to the bubble and done any better, like we killed it. Devin Booker came in second MVP like all this stuff and it's like, oh, the Suns are trending, why are we trending?

And then they watch the clip and they're like, oh my God.

Oh jeez. Are you buying this like the one hundred. Oh yeah, yeah. One hundred percent. I just because I want it so very badly to be true.

Everyone started retweeting All aboard the Payne train tweeted the Suns had a few few weeks ago and like Suns train started trending. I mean, God bless that girl.

No, she was her child. Must be.

I'm sure it was. It was her birthday. Yes. She was like a present. And they were like, were you like, is it bad? She's like, no, I was lit. She was like, cool with it. It was awesome.

I'm shocked she could talk on a podcast after that. It was she, you know, put her in traction like like can you shout out shout out that lady. Very fine lady she ever wants to find out some kind of part of my take and see how we're sorry we can take this podcast. We're only six of us. Yeah. Just light work and I'm going to play in thirty seconds. Right.

So whatever. Six man.

Yeah. Really that would be you definitely would be six actually I would actually see I would be like if she would be down like maybe just jerk off Billy and Jake at the same time, just go in and then we could finally see who the real alpha is. Yeah.

And then my cool throw and talk about Gonski and talk about, you know, Parmar take podcast's. The team is you guys people a.w. always be able to bet on Big Cat. Pfft. Yeah. And Jenga today two o'clock. You can bet on them. We're playing to you guys.

Are they started to win. You guys are playing in like two forty five. Three. Yep. Play Basel down on the app. Make your picks when. Five hundred dollars. I've got great fingers.

We're going to like them. A return of Tilghman's Crus. Oh there we go. Back in the booth nailing it. Or you don't think I'm done right. Where can they find that game.

I'm to Bastable download in the app store.

You're going to get in the. I think we're playing who we played Tommy Smokes and Liz. Oh OK.

We're going to mentally out for game over what happened in the most recent play Borstel event, the ping pong match, the big match we're talking about on Sunday night between you and Jake KAC beat me narrowly, narrowly.

So that was different to eight. And I was you know, it was the rubber match and cake still has a broken, pretty much broken ankle. He's a fighter. I'm not going to I'm not going to sit here and make excuses. Jake. Jake fought through. He beat me. Be fair and square. He's a fighter. He's a great match.

Great broadcast. More importantly. Yeah. What a sportsman. I don't know. What can I do for you? I don't know.

You're done. My hot seat is hater's that don't believe in the power of football guys because Joe Judge is going full football guy with the New York Giants. He's making the coaches run laps. Jason Garrett is in the best shape of his life and he's doing like Oklahoma style drills. He's doing one on one, tackling drills at the goal line. Just line guys up, having them hit each other full on. And it is giving Dave Gettleman a massive, massive erection.

Yes, it's every every day this week has been a different judge, a story of how he's, you know, changing the culture. I just it's so funny watching Belichick disciples go somewhere and. I feel like I'm going to be the Belichick, he's going for Belichick, it's going to it's this is like if you win, you know what he's doing, they're fine. But if they lose, that's a quick way to become Romeo Crennel. And like Josh McDaniels, right.

He's an interim head coach and a head coaches office. So doing all the like the Dan Campbell tricks, the Tony Sparano tricks, he's going to bury football eventually. He's going to burn some game film. He's he removed names from jerseys. Yep, that's right. That's another football guy thing he did. He'll probably take the red jerseys off the quarterbacks. He's like, you're a football player, too.

I can't wait till he slowly gives names back. Yeah. How does that work? How do you earn your name? I don't know. You got to earn like it's a pinstripe suit to bring your mom to practice. Yeah. With a birth certificate. Yeah, I know the Cowboys always do that with like the stars on the sides of the helmet, but yeah. Joe judges, he is going full interim head coach right now and I hope it works just because I want to see Joe Judge in the league if he's doing Hillarie stuff like this from day one, I hope it works out, but history tells us it might not.

So when they asked them, when they ask, the New York media asked Joe Judge about taking names off practice Jersey, he said, we should know who we are, by the way they carry themselves. It's important to know the person across from you by the way they move. There you go. Yes.

And know their it's it's as unique as a fingerprint. I mean, honestly, I could spot Eli Manning his run, his gait from anywhere. So Daniel Jones probably isn't that far off. They should actually make Daniel Jones earned the Brooks Brothers logo on the front of all his button up shirts.

Question, Do we have video of the coaching staff running? I don't I didn't see any video of it, OK, because there's no chance that Brett BioMarin there's no chance for Eddie Kitchens we see on the giant. Yes. Both of them are on the Giants staff. Maybe he's just trying to get him into shape. That's there's no dude, Joe Judge is going to kill his whole fucking staff that it would be unreal like football during a pandemic. And you get no positive Korona tests.

But Joe Judge kills two of his coaches because of lapse.

But that is a great way to ensure that there are no minor mistakes on offense and defense for the linebackers, because you know that Belém is going to run once again.

Think of two guys that would want to run less than Brett Beelman. Freddie Kitchens. No, I can't, because they don't exist.

So Jason Garrett, who's probably like behind, he's probably like keeping the pace and running these hard already fucking he's an overachieving asshole. He went to Princeton.

He's been running laps forever instead of like the thirteen point one or the twenty six point two on the back of his car. Just got eight and eight in that little bubble. Yeah.

Who else do we have? We've got Derrick Tulis on that staff, too.

OK, former Tennessee head coach. Yep. In his pants and his pants and his shower discipline. You remember that? Yep. He he gave his he gave a workshop to the Tennessee volunteers and how to properly clean themselves in the shower. Yes. Because his team had a massive staph infection. And then on my cool throne, I've got legs. Legs are on the cool throne. NFL media salivating. Absolutely busting graps over AJ Dillon and his tree trunk, Sequoyah legs.

Now, it's at the point where, like, the first picture came out and everybody was like, holy shit, look at this guy. He's thick with like seven seas. And now it's to the point where all the photographers are just trying to get pictures of AJ. It's like, remember Eddie Lacy? Yes. So it's like the reverse. They see where they're all trying to get that one angle of this, guys. It's like if Eddie Lacy stomach were legs, they're trying to capture that moment.

So expect to see a lot more of AJ Dillon's hamstrings and quads.

Yes. All right. My hotseat. Let's talk about baseball. So my hotseat is the unwritten rules of baseball. We had the entire story. Fernando Tatis hitting a four Fernando Toddies Jr hitting a grand slam when the Padres were up seven in the eighth inning on a three oh count. And now was there anyone who was actually offended by this? I think only the managers. I think only and then went to Tatis had to do an apology. People were like, fuck this, why do you apologize?

But this is one of those moments where we have to take a step back and be like, show me the people who are fighting. Like it's probably just Aubrey Huff and like Piedras Gossage. Yeah, Goose Gossage definitely pissed off like Peter Gammons.

And like that's probably it's well, I think I would agree with you, but the fact that both managers were like that was Bush league, you know that. So since they're the ones that are calling the shots, I think Manny Machado is pissed off because he knew that he was going to get hit.

Yeah, that that I understand.

Yeah, I understand as a teammate, but I just there's sportsmanship in professional sports shouldn't exist. Well, on banning all in Little League, great.

When you're a pro. Fuck that.

On the other hand, it was kind of nice to wake up to a debate about the unwritten rules of baseball, because all the other headlines that we've had in baseball have been like the Cardinals went to cardinals all you could games like in all you can eat that restaurant in Las Vegas and everybody has coronavirus.

That's what we've been waking up to for the last three years.

The pitcher, Zach Plesac, you know, goes out to an EDM concert. And doesn't Instagram live from there? Yeah, Clevenger pulled a Phoenix Suns with his teammates and got coronavirus from one Instagram model. It was a lot of that going on.

That's just amazing, though, in baseball. That's true. Good point and good point.

But, yeah, it's it's nice to see an unwritten rules debate. It feels like it's been years since we've had one.

It is. It feels really good to have unwritten rules talked about. I just we're we need a little third today to that.

Like got people. Rehmat Yeah.

And then the Rangers tweeted like, have fun with this one. Trolls, they lost today again to the Padres. And then they did the thing on Twitter where you can't reply, no one can reply God, you can quote tweet it though I, I really do think we need to make we need to like teach one of those classes at like Medill at Syracuse and be like we need to every 10 percent of every Syracuse, Mizzou, Northwestern Columbia journalist, grad needs to be the torch bearers for unwritten rules.

Whoever graduates top in their class. Yes.

Or bottom, that's whatever you decide. But we need because my problem is I can't argue against unwritten rules. If there's no one still earnestly arguing for them, it feels futile to be like you like. I can't believe people are mad about this. Then you look at Twitter, it's like no one's actually mad about this. So we need a designated group. Like, I would love for someone to start a list. Here are the unwritten rules, people.

The Danny No Scholarship Award goes to those people. You go, these are the people that Doug Gottlieb kids who who can't understand unwritten rules. Good. I think it's mostly inside the game of baseball right now. It's either people that used to play are people that are currently playing the game. Right.

Get mad about it. Actually curious if Gotlieb because like Gottlieb is, he is really you know how there's beavers. The beaver population. Right. Is a sign of whether the ecosystem is doing well. Doug Gottlieb's take is whether I can figure out if, like, we are on the right path as a society, because if he's got the terrible take, you're like, OK, we're doing something, right? Yes. So I wonder if he was if he's even on the side of tatties, then we're fucked.

We are. But I'm pretty sure that he would be because he just puts his finger up in the wind. He's like, which way is everybody else?

Nobody still fucks than fucks it up. I'm over there. Yeah. I mean, if Doug Gottlieb starts to agree with me about things, then I think it's on me to then have to disagree with Doug Gottlieb. Yes. Yes. You had to look at the man in the mirror.

OK, so I'm looking. Nope, he didn't even talk about it. Damn. He's doing the baldie breakdowns for basketball now. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. All right. My cool throne is Big Ten football because Big Ten football is back. Totally. It's officially back, sir. Yes, sir. You who is sir?

He's just a random dude on Twitter who last I got tagged him one of his tweets and he was like, my sources are telling me that the Big Ten football season, like schools are very upset.

Big Ten football season still is back on. So then I went on his periscope. I'm pretty sure he was drunk.

OK, and then he said he has a source, a high placed source, one source, OK. And then I said today that Kevin Warren, the Big Ten commissioner, is is seventy five percent chance he resigns. Kevin Warren doesn't have he doesn't know what he's going to do. There's been all sorts of reports have come out in the last day or two that just say there was no vote that was put up. Kevin Warren just kind of like kind of figured out that they could be sued if he didn't catch Verizon.

Right. Maybe. And then he decided to. I think just if enough people go viral, then that will convince him to put the season back on. I know actually, ironically, would also convince them to cancel.

Right, right. I know deep down that it's not going to happen, but I can dream. You never know. One person has a source. It's not over till it's over. Just keep on, OK? Just keep feeding me, feeding me, feeding me different schedule releases.

And worst case scenario, Bandera's the exchanges. Just tell me random sources and say with enough confidence and I'll be like, I'm just going to hope this is true. It's Abraham does. I'll fucking I'll block that kid. Suraiya, you're dead to me. You screw this up. Nobody but giving you so much joy in the last 24 hours.

Yeah, but no risk. No biscuit. There you go. He's in the keys in the Scoop's game. He put his he put his reputation on the line. If he's right, I will be shouting sir from the fucking mountaintops. But if he's wrong, you're in the area. Abraham Abraham. Hashtag done yet. Done. Done. OK, before we get to Michael Strahan, new sponsor alert. You're going to hit it, Hank. New sponsor alert.

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Go to crosscountry mortgage dot com for licensing and disclosures. Can't recommend them enough cross country mortgage dotcom take. OK, here he is. Michael Strahan.

Oh OK. We now welcome on a very special guest. It is NFL legend.

He's also. Would you say that you're America's sweetheart. It's Michael Strahan. Would you say that's Phil, America's sweetheart.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm seen by America, but I'm not America's sweetheart. I'm a sweet guy.

You kind of fall into that category, though, like maybe maybe America's step dad. Yeah, America's nine step dad. America's nice to America. You're crazy, man. My step dad. And he doesn't treat you like a stepchild.

Yeah, like that. So you also are a Hall of Famer. I should have mentioned that. And a Super Bowl winner. And we have a lot of stuff we want to talk to. But I actually wanted to start there because I saw that your jerseys up for auction or something from the Super Bowl game, but I don't think that's your jersey. Tell what's going on.

I saw that, too, that that's not the jersey that that I have hanging downstairs in my gym. That's not that I remember when at the game. And, you know, that was the last game I ever played. And I kind of knew if we were going to win, I was going to retire anyway. And it's the Super Bowl. So I just knew after that game I was going to keep everything. I kept everything except for the shoulder part that the only thing I didn't keep.

So I packed everything in a bag. Once we came off the field, Stinky's naft accepted into my helmet and into a duffel bag and gave it to my buddy Ian Smith and the jerseys hanging downstairs and the rest of it. I have the rest of the jersey. I have my glove, my wrist brace, my shoes. I got everything. So when I saw that, I was I was a little surprised too, man.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. How does that work? Is there like a backup jersey that you have in case yours gets torn during the game? Could that be it? I mean, I don't know. We always have backups. We always have backup jerseys. But that the jersey I had is the one I wore the I have the one I wore the entire game. And then when I got back to New Jersey, I take it out the bag, the whole thing is wet, still soaking wet and nasty.

And I had to let it air out and I didn't wash it. I didn't want to have a wash because if you wash it pretty much. Wash away the game, in my opinion, it looks just like every other dirty war, right, so that they still have the stains on it from dirt and Gatorade and and the stench, if you were to take it out of the frame.

OK, so everyone should know that if you see an auction with the jersey that Michael Strahan wore in the Super Bowl, it's not real. He has it and he's not selling it. So erroneous on all accounts. Yeah.

I mean, why would I sell that? I mean, I don't need to sell it. I need the money. To me, that was the epitome of the best thing ever happened in my career. One of that Super Bowl that was that was better than Pro Bowls and, you know, and all that stuff, because that was something I had the chance to do with the guys. And yeah, when I sort of a surprise man, so, you know, I was like, OK, maybe I thought for a second maybe I was going crazy.

So I say, OK, let me go, let me go. Get cleaned up right there on my shoes.

OK, maybe I forgot something else. Then I said, man, I've got my my gloves here, my glove right here.

It is not like it's not fair to because when you see that story, my initial thought was like, who was Michael Strahan having tough times?

He's got to sell that jersey amount of bullshit. Yeah. Here's my here's my wrist brace. And he has broken right there. But that's my wrist brace. OK, you have your way.

Where can we buy your cup off? You know, he got to pass.

You just keep these, like, hanging out around your house. They're not like in a bag.

If I keep this stuff, I keep I have a I have a storage unit where I keep my helmet still in plastic.

Whoa. OK, nice.

Well so but I keep this stuff like, you know, to be honest with you, if you come to my house in my gym is the only place I have any football memorabilia. So if you go if you if you come to the gym, you go downstairs. I have my Super Bowl jersey. I have to game worn Pro Bowl jerseys, then one that's a replica jersey. And then I have like a man cave. I have everything else because I never was a guy who liked football.

I did it. I loved it. But I didn't want to, like, freeze my mind that people walk in the house. And the only thing they said, oh, he's football. Like, I'm I'm more than that. Like, I'm a human being with a lot more interest. So I didn't want to almost stifle my thinking and to think that football, the only thing that I could do when I walk into my own house and that's all I see.

So I've always kind of separated the two. So I keep this stuff stored away and I really don't don't don't look at it that much except for my jersey, which is in the gym and that's here at the house, because that was the most special piece of memorabilia that I have. And I'm not a big collector of a lot of things, but that I definitely wanted to keep.

You're America's sweetheart. So let's talk about that game real quick, because obviously one of the most famous games in NFL history, I'd say, you know, the Patriots going for a perfect nineteen.

You know, at what point in the game did you say to yourself and you and the guys on the defensive line, like, this is working like we're they're not looking like they've looked to the last, you know, 18 weeks or I think I'm not going to say they weren't looking like they looked. I think we weren't looking like they expected us to look. And I would I would say after the first two defensive series, we were hit we were hit in Tom Brady so many times and so fast within the first two series, we thought I thought, OK, this is kind of a joke.

Like they're playing with us. They're letting us get to him so fast when they can dump a little screen over here, they can do something like that. And then you started to realize that for the first two series. No, we are just playing a lot faster than they are on offense right now. And we just needed to keep it close. It's just like anything like a boxing match or anything. You keep it close. You always got a chance for knockouts and for us, thank goodness we had a chance for the knockout and we did it.

Yeah, yeah. We had Gotham Chopra on the show a couple of weeks ago.

He the documentarian, he said that every time he's been around Tom Brady and you at the same time, the very the very first thing that you do is you bring up that game to him. You won't let it go.

And to hell with Tom. Got six of them. So he because he could take it for one week, I think that would help hurts him the most because it was a perfect season. Yeah. So yeah, he's always told me that. And what I like one in one is Super Bowls. He's like six out of nine or whatever to be at the Super Bowl nine times in his career, in anybody's career is insane. But yeah, I've got them in the Patriots fan.

Right. So he's upset.

Tom's upset. I'm surprised we're business partners, but I'll take whatever I can get. But, hey, I'm I'm happy with my one man. I'm not getting greedy.

I'll take a look. Looking back a couple of weeks before that game, the famous Tom Coffle in red faced game in Green Bay.

Did you think that Coach Coughlin was going to die?

I thought he had you know, a mom called me. My mom never called me about anything like that. I mean, when I was a kid, if you got hurt by mom bazoo, say, rub some dirt on a. Get up. I've got heard of the pro I never laid on the field, I always made it out off the field. And if I had to go to the to the locker room, I will go in a tunnel and then collapse.

I don't collapse on the field that mama wasn't playing, that she called me and said, is he OK because he look like your shirt? Yeah. Read. I'm so I, I'm surprised I did not have a frostbite. And we have some guys who did because that was ridiculous. What do they do when it's that cold, man. They always tell you, don't go outside, make sure you don't put your animal down, put your car in a garage and hear that like, oh, football player, go play.

Entertain. Yeah, it was crazy.

Can say yeah. Are you is Eli definitely a sure. Fire first ballot Hall of Famer in your eyes.

I mean you're biased but no I think, I think Eli is a Hall of Famer in the first ballot. I don't know, but I think he's a sure. Fire Hall of famer without a doubt. I think just the two Super Bowl wins and the let's play that he had missed a career that he had without that he had without missing games. And all those things definitely, in my opinion, makes him a Hall of Famer first ballot. That's up to so many other people's opinions that other than mine, I don't vote.

Yeah. What about what about the new coach the Giants have? Joe Judge?

He sounds like he's starting to do he's going down that that dangerous path where all the former Patriots, assistant coaches, they try to do this. They try to be real hard asses in their first year, like Matt, Patricia telling reporters like set up with better posture, you know, doing all these like weird football guy things, trying to replicate the system that worked in New England. How can somebody come in from, like outside of your culture and implement that without the players just being like, fuck you?

You know, like I'm I'm a grown man, I'm an adult, I'm a professional. I don't need to be, you know, running laps because I jumped offsides. Day one of training camp.

I'll be honest with you, I'm not saying we would call him when he first came in. He was a hard ass and we gave him the middle finger, just like you just did, like do what are you doing? Like, we've been here with this. We don't need all this this this crap that you're doing. And I think I think, Judge, I saw today he had the coaching running with. Yeah, with mom. I'm like, man, my course would be killing you if they screwed it up.

It grew them up. Have you seen the way the coaches look at them run and say, yeah, so many coaches out here running man, which I think is going to change a lot of stuff. I've seen so many coaches, especially Belichick ex coaches, who come and try to be Belichick. I think if this is really what Joe does is then players will buy into it. But more than anything, a player, Bill Belichick could be as hard as they want.

But at the end of the day, the players know that he cares about them. And that's what it boils down to. Coughlin when he came in, it was like we were we were like little pieces to be put here. And then we didn't have any connection with him as a human being. But the second we connected with him and we realized he saw us as people, our team got better and our team started to win. So I don't think there's there's any mistaking that having a connection, a human connection with your team is what helped you win.

And so if he has that, he had the shot. If he does it, I don't care how many laps you run. How good, bad, nice or not nice you are, you just won't win.

What about like how did that work out with Colin? How did he show you that he was actually human?

He like lets you use the bathroom once per day or you being like miniature Lance earlier, he's like, oh, that's cool. That's what happened with me. Yeah. Must be five minutes early. And we had this whole big debate because he tried to find some guys who were like seven minutes early because he had but he had already closed the door to the room. He's like, that's like that's like my coach. You saw those guys standing out there that you did that on purpose.

Yeah, I think that that was when he kind of lost a lot of some respect from the team.

Guys were like, man, this guy is crazy. I was the designated go talk to Kosslyn Guy, whatever.

Anybody had a problem because I was the oldest guy there last year. Fourteen, thirteen, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, where I was kind of like, I don't give a damn face and I would talk to him. He would just dismiss it. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. And he we had an agreement that it was five minutes early. But if you were in within that five minute time frame you got you talk to you.

He didn't find you. And I came in three minutes early to a meeting and I got a letter.

Yeah. And I got a letter on my stool for 500 bucks.

But five hundred dollars, it's like, OK, five hundred. But it was the principle effect. And I just had this conversation after I was dealing with the other guys, we got fine and we we were going to our practice bubble because it's cold outside.

And he and I, we started out in a nice cordial conversation by a coach.

You know, I got this letter on my stool. Yeah, I said I said I was late. I got five. He yeah. I said, well, coach, I wasn't late. And then it just it just kept escalating. And I'm trying to be, you know, nice guy, Michael. But then when he said, well, next time don't cut it so close, it could have been.

More that's when I went for football, Michael Moore, well, Jon Runyan, Eric Williams, I don't care about nobody. I'm going to hurt you, guy. And I just looked at him, man, and I let him have it. I just let him have it. I'm not going to say what I said, but put it this way next time I'm late.

Effet, may I come in here when I want to, I'll stop and run errands to get IHOP and then I'll come here with. I want to I'm going to be late. You don't find me. I'll do what I want to do. Yeah.

And he looked at me and he goes, You can't talk to me like that. And I said, Yes, I can. I said, if you don't respect me, I'm not going to respect you. And he was still a child. I can still sense some of the things I said. Well, you know, I always tell you what's going on, and I'm always trying to tell you what the player to come to me for. And then when I say it, you just say, I hear you.

I hear you. I say you're dismissing me. Do you think I'm stupid? You're just dismissing me. But listen to this. You're losing this team. Do you hear that? And I walked away from. And ever since that conversation been like that, that's great. I think he realizes, like, I can't keep this beating guy down. Fyne fining you for wearing your socks. His socks aren't high enough, right? I'm at practice, dude.

You think I can't I about a great sleeve or blue sleeve that both in my locker because they come with the giant issue equipment. I'm not sure about what colors I'm wearing. Not a game with football team, but I to play. It was just crazy man.

But once we got on track, guys loved it. Yeah. Really went to battle for the.

That's interesting because I think a lot of coaches get right to that point that like pointing to the road, the fork in the road, it's like which way am I going to go here, especially with pro football, because you guys in college, you can kind of get away with it because you get a turnover of people, of players.

But impro, it's a little different. So confident after that. Was he was he a little bit nicer or was it just he listened to you more?

I think both. And I think both. He was he was nice in the sense that you felt like he actually had concern and. And he actually would try to come around and tell jokes and stuff and try to be funny, which was so out of character. We always love it here. It's just not funny. It's funny because he's trying, right. Do you remember? He was like, are we supposed to laugh? Is he? It was a little uncomfortable for a while.

You realize, OK, he's really trying to show off the personalities. And I think that guys, guys, once they saw that guys bought into it and I have to tell guys all the time, you know, when I said go, but I have to butt heads with him and I have to realize to myself, I realize, OK, either I got to be a part of the problem. I'm going to be a part of the problem or I'm going to be part of the solution.

Which one do I want to be? My career's wanted down once we get to the meat of our disagreements. At the center of it all is we both want to win running at the same goals, just kind of going about it in a different way. And I said I want to be part of the solution. So I thought if I buy in with some of his stuff and he eased up on some of his other stuff, we could meet in the middle and guys are going to follow when guys did, man.

And I'm thankful for it.

So you mentioned going off on call from there and it reminded me, you know, you're very, very good friend. Probably I can say best friend Jay Glazer has been a friend of ours for a few years. He's been on our show a bunch of times. I think he told us once that of all the people that he's been around, you have the switch where when you flip it, you can just go crazy mode. You're the nicest guy in the world, but you have that like, all right, now it's a football game.

Like, I'm going to I'm going to destroy you kind of feel to it. Do you ever think about that when you're like, you know, on TV in front of, like a bunch of moms in America watching you in the morning, in the back of your head?

You're like, remember that football switch that I have?

Like, have you do you ever go back in the back of your brain and think about that switch?

I mean, to switch you there? I mean, A, the switch is always there. I just don't need it. Now, if I if I flipped it on TV, a price scare a lot of people. Yeah, but but football is literally. It was a survival, and that's what people a lot of people look at, it's a game, OK, big guys. But I get each other, they do all these things. OK, that's great.

No, for me, it was survival. And to me it was respect. I didn't care about anything. I, I didn't care about, you know, Pro Bowls and all that stuff are going to come. If I went out there and played for respect and I played for respect. I've never played the cheat the game I wasn't playing. Of course, you're playing to to make a living, but it wasn't as if, OK, I got to go out and make money because after a certain point, that's not enough to continue to play.

For me, it was about respect. So when I look at a guy who is 350 pounds and I'm at the weigh in two hundred and my heaviest seventy five by three years of my career to 40 to 50, I got to survive. It's me. Are you. When they turn on tape tomorrow, they ain't going to see me getting laid out and won't see me get run over. They're not going to see. And I just said, hey, it's me, you and it's going to be you.

My will to win is greater than your will to keep me from winning. And that was the switch. When we can have this conversation, we can laugh at the defense. I'm proud of him, but I'll put it on and turn like, well, all right.

So it's about respect and you have to switch still. So would you flip the switch if someone said, hey, Michael, remember that time you paid Brett Favre to take a dive so you could get the sack record?

No need to sweat to flip the switch on that. Twenty two and a half baby, if you don't like the go out.

Did you pay him, though? Seriously, please. You know, I have enough money to pay Brett Favre anything. How about that? That's what kills me. That's what's so funny about people. Everybody. Oh a sad with Brett Favre. If they only knew I didn't give a rat's ass about the sack record, they mean anything.

Records are meant to be broken. The only record I cared about when it came to Sacks already had as a single seed the record with the Giants.

Yeah, but by the right. But they didn't count sacks when else he was a rookie, not a senior single season.

Do you know what he did when he was a rookie? He could have had in thirty seconds on that back because he didn't get twenty some second. Did you go watch it. Eighty. You watch the film. I watch the film. He didn't get twenty. Some say Deacon Jones told me why you're here like 80 seconds. I know where you had a sack but I would absolutely do that. If I played back in the day. I would I would make up stats all the time for some games that they didn't keep.

I think he can be when you're on, man. I mean, you talk about somebody took care of me as a young player. Rest in peace, my man, Deacon Jones, but out of the room. So eighty six in one year, I'm like, Deacon, nobody had eighty. And it was funny because I was talking to lot. I got a golf tournament with Lance last year and we're talking and he's going on about sex. You're going to say you got to sack record.

That's my record. And I said, Elgie, you know, they didn't count. They didn't count sacks. I said, Whose fault is that? It's not my fault. I said, I broke the number that was there he go. You know, I missed how many games and I called. That wasn't my fault.

You took drugs. Yeah, true. And he even had to laugh at that very bad dude. I love him because it's tough with the competitor. And as intimidating as he was and still can be, he always was great to his teammate. Yeah, great. Me and I was standing behind him every day and I like the dummy for practice squad to him. Always took care of me, give you the shirt off his back, always wanted the best.

And I love about those teams between L.A. I play a lot of golf with O.J. Anderson. Harry Carson is my man. I mean, these guys took care of me when they didn't have to because I was that new generation that usually doesn't listen to any of the older guys the day those guys took care of me. I love.

OK, so speaking of a former teammate, do you still not talk to Tiki? Oh, yeah. OK, but you have you won that so that the famous you had a contract dispute and Tiki did the thing that you're not supposed to do and try to talk to out of turn. You guys had it out. I just want to say, I mean, Tiki has a good career going, but you basically got the career that Tiki wanted and also won a Super Bowl.

I mean, Tiki had to get a TV career. Yeah, you're you're right. America's sweetheart. That's very you're nice.

You're very nice now, you know, but my career completely different from his because my my my route to where I was going was completely different.

First of all, I play football. They won a Super Bowl. That helps. He retired the year before. I think it helped that I was able to go into the entertainment side of television, not straight to the news. I was able to actually do the football side of it on a fun show and not a show that was that structured, I think, at CBS. Well, at that time.

And I never looked at it like for me, I think when TV came out, he wanted to make a splash. So he talked about Koffler, he talked about Eli. He did a lot of things that I personally wouldn't have done because then. The day I'm not going to say something about the guy that just went on the field and played with for like four took for the network or for rating or anything like that. But I think at that time and probably a lot of pressure on him to do that.

And I but I'm I'm friends with him now. Definitely good friends with him now, you know, let bygones be bygones. At the end of the day, I got my money.

So that was that was my whole thing was about just you just don't talk about somebody else's financial situation, what is not your own without completely understanding. Just don't do it.

Yeah, I think what you've done is like there are a lot of people that currently play right now who say, I want to be the next Michael Strahan when I retire, not realizing that, like, not everybody can do what you do. I feel like you've got a pretty diverse skill set going on. Like when Gronk retired, you know, he tried to do FOX. He was in the media for a little bit. I think he worked with you on some of the Thursday night stuff.

Do you have any advice for these guys being like, hey, here's how you can become the most like person in America?

You know what, man? I first of all, you got to enjoy it. You got to enjoy it. You you have to you have to work at it. And everyone sees now and goes, oh, Michael's doing this because doing that, they didn't see what I'm getting turned down for things. What I could get called back from people when I'm hosting events and doing things for nothing just to get the experience of doing it for messing up when I'm messing up and and you know, all these they just didn't people just didn't see that.

Now they they think, oh, he just showed up on TV a long way from showing up. I started doing things on TV when I was with the Giants just because they'd asked me and I would do it and I thought that was fine. Let me do it again. I never thought about it being a career, but now it's a career. But for all the guys who are out there playing now, my biggest advice, play as long as you can.

Play as hard as you can, make the most that you can put it away and make that your primary job, don't start trying to be 20 other people because your primary job right now, it's going to get you to the ends into the business is football. Don't lose focus of your primary for something that is secondary and can wait.

I like your point, though, about not saying no to things and going out and doing a bunch of different things, because I think that that happens a lot in the media industry where you see the finished product, you don't realize like, oh, he's he's actually been putting in reps everywhere forever.

You know what's so crazy? One, the first thing that ever did and I think back to it now with pretty dangerous out there that we used to be a electronics company called Tops and in New Jersey. And every Monday night, I used to go to a a winning day, draw a lottery. I go to the winners house and watch Monday Night Football with them. And whoever they invited would a foot long sandwich that felt like fit like 20 people and some drinks.

So here I am just pulling up at strangers houses and watching football. And so you have to learn how to talk to people, right? Learn to get along with people. You have to learn how to decipher and figure out a room real quick. So I thought about that. I'm like, that was really stupid. But now I look at it and go, that really helped me in my career. When I first started with Best Damn Sports Show, I used to sit in front of a camera like this, but I didn't have a monitor.

I couldn't see everybody on the other end, but I had to be animated and and responsive to their conversation to be a part of it. So all those things that at the time I was doing, I was just doing it because I really know have now come into play what I do now. But it's a lot of work and everything.

The learning, experience and failure, the learning experience, don't get discouraged. You just got to keep pushing forward. And and but, you know, I just want athletes to know to to be honest with. You mean TV is only a part of what I do. I mean, we had a production company. We produce game shows, TV shows, movies. We have the talent management company. We have clothing companies have the business with Gotham and Tom as well, that production company.

So football and TV are only serve several small aspects of what you can do, what you like. They're just so many more things out there that this could lead to. If you play your cards right.

So you have a million jobs. You're one of the hardest working guys out there. I was actually talking to our new coworker, Deon Sanders prime time.

Don't know if you ever heard of him. He said you're scared to do a podcast with him.

I'm not scared to podcast with Diane. I told did he have to loosen up his pants in the crotch area before I do a podcast? And I could hear the scream, the screaming from his nether regions.

And he does like a tight fit. He's gotten the euro fit speaking his. Yeah, yeah. He's always talking. He called my either you wear that Wayne Brady suit. I got the suit on this.

Got the euro fit. That's true. So on the other end of the spectrum, I'm just this just popped in my head. But do you have like a fond feeling of the NFL Sunday show coming to a close when Terry Bradshaw, like, untax his shirt and he looks like a dude who's been sitting at a bar for the last seven hours? You're like, all right, time to go home, Terry.

Yeah, I mean, that's that's life for everybody at home. We should be in a dressing room with them when they got the tidy whiteys on that. Right. There is a sight to behold America, trust me. But, you know, did that show, man, I'm so thankful for the show. It is the best thing in the world. So much fun. The guys are amazing. And you don't realize there is no age difference when we're on the show.

There is no Jimmy is not seventy something and I'm not the youngest one there. Let me just let there be no but is no age difference. We all like guys and kids and boys. We love the sports and we love each other. And there is so much support and love there for everything that we do there and away from there. And I can't think of a better, better brothers. You know, we're not even co-workers. We're brothers in the group text that we're on all these things.

It's not like we just show up and do a show on Sunday and we don't communicate, man. We talk to each other all the time.

I talk to them more than I just about talk to anybody else in my life who's the glue guy, the glue who holds it all together, who's a glue guy of that group. Curt Menefee. OK, is the like he's he's if you need a random fact or something, you got to ask Kurt.

He knows the answer to everything, but he is the guy that I think everybody knows is always together and got his stuff together. Are you going to ask anything to. And he's going to come through for you.

What's Terri like on the on the group thread? What's his text game like?

I'm just like what you guys talking like on Sunday. Gibberish. Brandon those words in text. Yeah. And then the. Greatest thing is when Jimi figured out a voice note and emojis. I can imagine, yeah. Oh, man, yeah. But I mean, I would love to see what Terry's speech to text translates to, if that can pick up on that that Louisiana has that translators have a hard time. Yeah.

What how do you how do you manage your schedule? Like, just this is a stupid question, but like how do you do it.

Sleep got to learn when to sleep and be honest with you. That's the hardest part when you're doing the news. I'm up every morning. Yeah.

What time you get up? Like five. OK, gross. But it's like it's not like I'm up at 5:00 a.m.. Coffee. Hey God. You know, I'm up and I got to be going like I got to be thinking I got to be reading. I got to know what's coming on coming up. And there is no oh give me a cup of coffee. Closed my office door. Let me relax and get to the day. No, you've got to be on it.

And so with that, the hardest part is being disciplined enough to go to sleep, which now I'm fine with it. But at that, when I first started, it was tough, man, just trying to burn both ends of the candle that will wear you out. So now get to bed early. I do that. And after that I have meetings and before calls it. It was crazy. I'm constantly running now. This has slowed it down a little bit and now I just try to I think this is showed me that just I need a break every once in a while.

So I try to put everything I can on a day or two of the week and have the other days when I'm just off on GMA that I had a date to myself so I can go play golf or do nothing.

It sounds exhausting. It sounds really, really tiring to just I mean, forget about the rest of it. Just waking up before eight o'clock every morning seems just awful to me.

What time you guys get up? It depends on the day. Well, we worked my have on so getting up at seven. Sometimes we're here until like, you know, two o'clock in the morning, typically wake up at like eight, maybe nine.

Yeah. That's a it depends on really what time of year it is.

Actually I wake up and get mad because I have a kid and no one else does. So like I wake up and I'm like, fuck, everyone is definitely still sleeping. Fuck this.

Oh yeah. Sometimes I'll wake up at like eleven thirty and I'll text the group. I'll be like, Hey guys, I just woke up to college game day. Anyone else see this big catch. Like fuck you fuck. I've changed six diapers.

That's all right. They're all going to die alone. I'm going to have a son who loves me forever. I've got a dog and he's going to live forever. So that's good, too. I've got a question about your buddy Jay. So we've talked. We've talked. I got my turn. Yeah, we've talked.

We've shared a lot of stories with Jay. He always likes to talk about how he's a great fighter. He's a big me guy. He can beat anybody up, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. If do you think that Jay could could beat you up if you were asleep. So Jay gets like maybe one good punch. And before you wake up, you have to realize the fight environment you're in and then you can just go wild on them.

Oh. Oh. I'll be honest with you, I got bit of whipped pretty handedly. James toughman like Jay Jay went from, like, shaking your hand to greet you to giving you a leg kick. That was his way of saying hello.

What the hell's wrong with you? Yeah, but Jay, I mean, if he if he punched me in my sleep, it woke me up or he's going to take a beat because that's what they call waking up hot and heavy, as my dad used to say. You kicked me like that. I'm a I'm a work whip. You whip you unconsciously, but I'm going with you. But Jay is not a pushover anymore, right? He's tough.

And I watch him train and I've been in there with him training. He's trained me. He actually knows what he's doing. I've known Jay so long that I'm surprised he actually even has a job. So I'm just like, dude, it's really the man who makes stuff and what he's built over that unbreakable with the people that he's built it with. And I'm proud of Jay. And the thing I'm most proud about with Jay Beyond with you is MVP is yes.

Yeah. Program that this guy is you know, Jay back in the day could be selfish. And I said, Jay, MVP, you are the most unselfish, selfish person I've ever met.

Yeah, that's fine. Yes. When I see that. But what he does with that program, man, is the thing I'm most proud of him about outside of him building a career that he's built from nothing. When I was there when I was there when Jay was struggling, I'm offering to help him pay his rent. He's like, no, we'll take it.

So he's he's obviously talked about how you have helped his career. Do you think he's helped your career? Because in talking about, like, why everyone loves Michael Strahan, I think maybe part of it is you walk around all the time with, like, a short psycho guy who everyone's like, dude, just chill out and then you comparatively like that guy.

So nice.

Everybody thinks I'm the bodyguard. He's the bodyguard. Guy JMJ helped me on and off the field on the field. He helped me by lying to me because every time we would get ready for a game, you go, oh my. Hey, hey, this guy. Hey, the media, they were telling me you tumble. You're not not the street handing anything training. Don't do that. No, do this to strengthen him. Do that. I used to get in the game.

Look at it. I said, oh I'm not oh I'm not this I'm not that you bought the see about the you know, then eventually one guy was like, what are you talking about?

And I think it roly poly or somebody with the Eagles who used to play the Giants with me. And he said, oh, I saw him straighten up and practice. And now with the Eagles almost shut him down after the game, like, yeah, yeah. And Ryan is like, what are you talking about?

I said, Jay, he say anything like that go well, no, he actually didn't and neither did the last seven guys. But he got me ready to play. And I'll never forget being at Fox. The way he helped me with TV is Jay would come in and say, OK, what are you going to say today? And I'm like, Oh, I figured out he's like, no, what are you going to say? He will help me craft my notes.

And then he would make me say it to him as if I'm on air, which is uncomfortable when you're sitting there with your friends and. Well, then, you know, I'm like, say it like you see it on air. And then he would say, take that out, punctuate this, get to the point, tell experiences that you have and other people don't have. You can say the regular things that everybody else says. But you've been in a locker room.

You know what the mentality is? You've been in there when a coach is yelling at halftime or you've been at the thrill of victory, shared that with people. That's what they don't experience. So Jake has helped me in more ways than I can say in broadcasting. He the he's been a you know, he's been a good one to keep around.

Yeah. Yeah. Did you go to that party with him and still Sylvester Stallone house. Yeah, man, I was there. Yeah. We heard about that namedrop city was incredible there. Yes. Yeah. I tell you man, I don't know how the little guy does it. He offends everybody and then they take them in. Yeah. Yeah.

He offended us when he said he had the biggest news ever and then it was like the Rams back up center guy coronaviruses.

Well we still love them.

Yeah. I mean, he did that. I think he was he was so mad because I think people are blowing up his Twitter and Instagram thing. Man, I feel, Jay, to be honest with you, I don't even know who the guy. Yeah, yeah.

I missed that one. That's OK. We all make but at the same time get it all out of the park. Yeah.

It also speaks to the weight of whenever Jay whenever he tweets out news. It's always the biggest news, right. It's always out of nowhere. So when he says he has a story, people like Odell Beckham, he had traded again, you know, something to that magnitude. And then it ended up being what it was. And then he had to defend it. It was the fallout was was very funny. But, yeah, it's actually like a problem of his own design because he's been so good at his job.

Yeah, you're right.

He does such big news that when he said that, he never really said that before. And I'm like, but the thing is, I'll give you. He won't tell me. He won't tell. He will not tell you ahead of time. And if you are so, he will not tell you who said anything. I don't know where he got the Spygate tape from. I've been the guy's best friend for twenty seven. Now will not give up his source, and that's one thing he is involved.

So when he says, I got some big news, all the other big news we've had, I think is going to be huge. And now saying diminishing that. No, go ahead, Carol. Right. But it wasn't the biggest, let's say, sports story we expect and we build it up in our game.

Yeah, it's more our fault because we all build it up in our heads. I had one last question, Michael. So this is a zip recruiter question with a seamless experience from start to finish, just like this question. Recruiter takes care of your recruiting right now. You can try zip recruiter for free at Crittercam take.

So you you went to a small college Hall of Fame career. If you were playing right now with all the coronavirus and everything that's going on, where do you land with, like college football, trying to have a season? And I would imagine someone like yourself who had to prove it at, you know, like a small college and then get a chance in the NFL and then take that chance and kick ass through it.

Like you don't get many opportunities if you're missing, like your senior year at a small college. Where do you land on that?

Oh, that's tough, man. I just think if they had the right protocols and of course, I would love to play football, I think that's what it comes down to. How do you protect how do you protect the safety of the player then and the coaches and everyone else who's associated with the program? Because you've got to remember these players like the player, the young, they'll get over it. Everybody is affected differently because there have been some young players who haven't gotten over, some young athletes who've had heart conditions and other things that they're finding out that the virus can do.

So for me, it would be a matter of how do you try to keep it as clean and virus free as possible? But it's hard when you're on a college campus as we see some of these kids going back to school now, having parties. And the first time you're away from home and you're like, hey, mom, dad can tell me anything, I'm getting out. Yeah. Then you get around people. So you just it would be very hard pressed.

For me not to play, especially if they could say these are the way that we're trying to protect you. Yeah, OK. Yeah, I feel like that's where a lot of America is right now.

There's still a lot of we don't know where I know so much, but then I do hate or I hate when people are going to play football about my kid because that's not your kid. You want to be entertained. Yeah. On a Saturday, you know, I thought you cared about having college football. You know, we cared about the health of these guys because if you did when a guy with me out, you didn't care about you. No, they just put another one in there.

You keep moving. Right. So to me, it's about really protecting the health of these young players and even the health of the players in the NFL. Because, you see, basketball is working on baseball's had some hiccups, OK, is working and but you can't put NFL players in a bubble, right? I mean, that would be is absolutely insane. Right. So we'll see how this how it's going to shake out in college. We'll see how it's going to shake out in the pros.

But I think it's going to be some challenge.

Yeah. Where do you see it going at the professional level? Because in my opinion, since they're not doing a true bubble, it's just it's not if it's when it's a matter of time until like a team has an outbreak like we've seen in baseball, then like two teams have an outbreak. And then, you know, then we've got weeks that are shut down. The schedule gets all messed up, and then the whole thing kind of crumbles at its base.

Like, is there any way that you can think of outside of instituting like a mandatory, like three city bubble or something to that nature that you can't?

I don't think you can do that. Too many too many players, too many families, too many have all that stuff. I think that with the NFL, you do have a week between games. So I think that that may give you a little leeway. If I'm a guy who was on the bubble or I was in a camp, I stay in shape. And in some of these games, you may see that the backup center of the backup behind the backup start, you know, but I think the biggest effect will be if it happens when you get a major quarterback or player or a major coach who who gets it in like Doug Peterson already had it, too, to see how that affects the team.

I think what we see that that that may change some opinions.

I actually have one last thing. I actually thinking through everything that you've done, Hall of Fame, Super Bowl, America's sweetheart tolerates Jay Glazer. I think your number one legacy might be when dumb football fans like ourselves and every like idiot fans at a bar across the country decides that they've figured out how to play defensive football by just saying, just get pressure with front for you guys like that.

You like when they do like keys to the game hit Tom Brady, it's like, yeah, that's pretty fucking easy. What's up? But you that's what they're talking about. They're like, you just got pressure starts up front like you got do you go when you go in the line of scrimmage. The Giants did it. Yeah. It trust me, it's not that easy. I love that because you're the first person in my life who's ever said that it is not impressed with the front they got to do.

Yeah, I've been accused of saying that myself on Fox, if it's hard. Yes, yes.

It's four on five basically. So somebody's going to have to win a double team. You can't have any gap for the quarterback to step up. Your outside guys really got to you know, company is like be tight. It's very coordinated. Yeah. Pressed on with four guys and you have to have four unselfish guys out there. And to be honest with you, nowadays, you have to have a rotation because you get tired. You got to have a good rotation with backups who are just as good a good start in other places that just happen to be back, because on your team, they're like one and one a yeah.

You know, so it was we've found that formula with the Giants. Thank goodness we found it a few times, but it's hard. And that's why I think the second highest paid position in football is the defensive end. Yeah. Behind their backs, because that's the only guy on the defensive side of the ball who can disrupt the quarterback in so many ways. So, yeah, get Presswood the front.

And then if you try if you're trying to win offensively, you just got to you've got to protect the quarterback. Well, that established the run, right? Establish the run, get pressure with a front for and no mistakes on special teams. Yeah. Yeah.

And I tell you what, man, when you're rolling like we were rolling. Oh, it's no better filling than no one lining up for guys. You could put six or seven with you.

It doesn't matter if you look at the guy across from you and you look him in the eye and you could tell he doesn't want to be there because he's confused, because they know you can run around him, you can run underneath them or you can run over him. That is the absolute best feeling because you can see the desire of a man on. So leave a guy through his eyeball. I like.

Yeah. I also just thank you for beating the Patriots that season because the shit that America would have to deal with, with nineteen and no Patriots fans like they Patriots fans in Massachusetts, like probably forty percent of the population would have nineteen old tattooed somewhere on their face or neck like Takashi's six or nine. It would be everywhere.

So thank you for not making. America deal with and we'll finish here, the jersey that's for sale is not correct, Fugazi. Michael Strahan has the real jersey. Do not do not bid on that auction. Someone is screwing with him. We are here to set the record straight. Michael Strahan, thank you so much, man. We really appreciate it. All right. Thank you, man. I appreciate you. Thank you, guys.

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And now here's David Arquette.

OK, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is David Arquette. He's got a new documentary coming out August. Twenty eighth video on The Man You Cannot Kill David Arquette. That's a ballsy title for a documentary given 20/20 and everything that's gone on, wouldn't you say?

Yeah, it was settled before 2020. It actually is based on a ninety song that a band called the Black Math Experiment wrote about me and sort of my characters in movies that I never died. And we decided to use it as a title. But little did I know there'd be so many people suffering so hard.

Yeah. Is that true? Have you never died in a movie? I have died several times in movies in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I died twice, you know, so but in the Scream movies and just in general, it's just like sort of a funny fan song that they made.

But we wanted to put it in the film. It was my wife who produced the film, Christine Arkadiusz. She did an incredible job. She suggested it. And the directors, David Darg and James Price were super cool and saw saw how it worked and used it.

It's funny that you mention that because I've kind of always wondered about actors when they do die in movies like do you get coached on how to die? Or is that left up to your interpretation? Because I know some some people do. You know, the eyes roll backwards in their head. Some people stop breathing for a while. Do you do you actually have to hold your breath?

You do have to hold your breath, especially if you're playing a dead body, like if you're in a casket or if you're just dead on the floor in this scene. Those are weird because sometimes you could do like a week where you're just dead on the floor. They're just coming and getting dressed, laying down and trying to not breathe. You know, there's a lot of weird stuff that happens in making the movies, but, you know, there's all kinds of different ways to die.

And, you know, it's always kind of creepy to a certain kind of research as an actor. Yeah.

So the documentary, you are making a return to professional wrestling. You're trying to and you can tell me this wrong. Right. What you what has been wrong or what people have perceived as wrong after you won the title. And fans have kind of shit on you for that for the last 20 years. What how is that experience been like if you were on the street, will someone come up to you, like fairly often be like you shouldn't have won the title like that was bullshit?

Or is it more like online? Depends.

Like when I used to go to WWE events or something, some people would be cool, like, oh, there's a former champion, other people not be so cool. It was really sort of got amplified with the Internet. The Internet wasn't as big back then. So once the Internet came alive, it just became the butt of all the jokes and just kind of got sick of it and like felt bullied and kind of wanted to stand up for myself and and just kind of figure out why people got so upset.

What is it about wrestling that people really love and, you know, on a wrestling sort of make a love letter to wrestling with the with the movie we made? Yeah.

You grew up wrestling fan. I know that you have Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth tattoo. You've got like you actually grew up really enjoying this stuff. So have you put yourself inside the brain of like an 11 year old David Arquette and thought, how would I feel if a guy like David Arquette won the title belt when I was watching?

Well, that's how I thought it would be perceived, more like I was living a fan's dream, like they could see themselves in me.

But the fact that I was an actor and the fact that I was a comedic actor, I think people like kind of like what? And since then, the size, you know, they used to be just like all monsters, like in their height and and now with like Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins and different people, there's different sort of weight classes. And any of them can really be the champion. It's just a matter of, you know, if if the audience typically kind of makes champions in a way they respond to the people they like, they kind of support them and push them.

And then then the companies sort of watch what's catching fire. So since then, it's a kind of dynamic and change where there's smaller wrestlers doing a lot of interesting stuff. So I thought, well, I can I can't compete with those guys.

And I learned something in the process, too, that, you know, aside from just being strong and and tall or whatever, you have to be tough and you have to be crazy.

And I had both of those things and I was like, I can be crazier than any of us, I guess. Yeah.

So so that's sort of where I came from. I was like, all right, let's do this. And in the movie you can see it gets pretty insane.

So I'm a wrestling fan and going through this, you have to know you're a die hard wrestling fan as well. Wrestling fans are irrational and they're very loyal. So is there been a part of you when you're making this, you're trying to right the wrongs in the back of your head. Do you realize that like half of the people who watch it still won't care and they'll be like, fuck David Arquette, like he's still trying to win it?

Yeah, no, no. And I totally respect that. I'm fine with that. I don't care. I almost did it for myself just to stand up for myself. So, you know, everyone's entitled to their own opinions and whatever their takeaways are, I don't really care. I just wanted to do it for myself. And I really sort of learned a lot in the process and just felt by the end of it, I was sort of accepted in the locker room is one of the boys.

And, you know, a lot of the people I was wrestling in the same I'm the same card with have now, like since that experience, I've gone on to be on A.W. and WWE. And, you know, it's really cool to sort of see that progression. Yeah. I feel like ultimately I was ranked top five hundred in twenty nineteen.

There you go. OK, you made a list. That's always important. If you can look back like I don't care if it was like top five thousand or something.

That's me on that list. That's pretty cool. I feel like you could have gone one of two ways with this.

You could have gone the direction that you ended up going, which is like I want to prove myself to these guys. I want to show that, you know, they didn't just hand something to me and I want to be respected. Or you could have gone the other way, almost like the Andy Kaufman route and gone like I'm Mr. Big Shot from from Hollywood, California. And, you know, when I whenever I want to do, I get to do did that thought ever occur to you to just, like, fully embrace a heal role and be like Mr.

Big Shot from L.A.?

Yeah, well, after a match that I lost to King Bryan, I got so upset that I felt people were patronizing me that I did I did sort of go a little crazy and started saying I was from Hollywood. This was at Northeast Wrestling and in New York. And then Jerry Lawler came out and set me straight with the nice stiff pile driver and put my head back on straight. So I'm glad that I have that happened. But Andy Kaufman was always an inspiration for me.

I always loved his love for wrestling and the fact that he embraced it so much. And, you know, there's tons of matches that he did in the Memphis area that, you know, Hollywood or even the wrestling community weren't really aware of.

He really wrote that storyline and played it out for a long time, wrestled off these girls and all this stuff.

So I always got a kick out of that.

I think if you want to be accepted in the wrestling community, you got to talk about all your injuries more. So what's the gnarliest injury you've had? Wrestling. Well, I got stabbed in the neck with a light tube, OK? That's pretty good. I thought that was the gnarliest. I thought I was dying. It actually hit my neck muscle where I got five stitches in my neck muscle, but it protected me from Jugulator getting hit. That was sort of the craziest, but the most painful was fracturing three ribs and then still having to wrestle for months on end.

OK, with fractured ribs is really so painful because you're constantly slamming your body down. And when you have fractured ribs, it's hard to breathe or sneeze.

It's just everything hurts. So that was that was super painful. And then after the piledriver, my my neck muscles been jacked up ever since.

There's certain things you have to do to protect yourself. And if you're just coming up, you kind of learn like you learn not to do something again.

I think I'll never take another piledriver from Jerry Lawler, not that he does it wrong or anything like that.

The way I took it was wrong. But but yeah. So it's it's a crazy. You're constantly out of surgery on my elbow, you know, my back's still messed up. It's a brutal, brutal sport.

Can we talk about your other love, the Lakers. Oh, yeah. Is LeBron a real Laker? Yeah, of course, it's a really sure he is not a mercenary hired gun, so I don't know about that. So he puts the jersey on and wins the championship. That's all we care.

So Dwight Howard's a real Laker. Yeah, I mean, the way I look at it is put the uniform on, you're like Bud, but I'm pretty loose about that stuff though. I like I'm like a fair weather fan. I'm not like all hardcore.

You go to a lot of games, right? You sit you have seats pretty much courtside or are they courtside? They're my buddies.

OK, all right.

I get the call and I have to ask because there was that famous incident after a playoff game in 2010. I want to say, when you got in like you you were you jumped on a fan who was trying to get in onto the court. You basically just decide you were security guard, probably because your wrestling background, what happened there?

No, it was it was a fan who had gotten out of line and he was choking one of the security guards. Nobody was doing anything.

So I pulled that guy off. But then it was probably the worst thing that could have happened because that just brought more attention to it. Yeah. And it just stayed in my lane.

I feel like they should give you season tickets just for that. Yeah. At least made you security guard. Right. And some some kind of badge or something.

They definitely like, you know, are very nice to me, but I don't think the security guard was a big fan of me doing that. There's a great picture of like I think it's a fighter who's just sitting back to be sitting right there just to watch.

And so somebody that was actually like trained to intervene in a situation like that. Yeah, he's back like he knows not to get involved. I was I was a knucklehead.

Yeah. There are some funny pictures out there. I'm looking at it right now. View of you wrestling this guy off of the security guard. Man of action. I would have just said no thanks. Like, I'm just going to, you know, leave my seat, go try to beat the traffic. I'm out of here. I want to jump back real quick to I think the first time I was introduced to was The Scream movies. Oh, yeah.

So that was like right in my wheelhouse. Coming up, mid 90s, you played Officer Dewey in The Scream movies. I guess my first question is, were you scared by the Scream mask? Because that thing as like an eleven or twelve, that thing was terrifying. So scary.

Yeah, I know. It was crazy. The story is that w they couldn't find the mask. They were looking and they he went into the back of this like old costume store and found this mask like this. Like what about this one. And and apparently they had bought it and used it in the movie, but hadn't got the rights to it, so whoever designed that mask owned the rights. And then until they put, like, scream on it, it's not a scream mask.

It's only that other guy's mask is a famous mask maker, like a Halloween costume mask maker.

I feel like a good mask can totally make a horror movie like just that mask alone. It's like iconic. Everybody recognizes.

Oh, yeah, I love that. I did. I did a horror film called The Tripper, where my killer was a guy who was obsessed with Ronald Reagan, who had attacked hippies at an outdoor music festival. Holy shit.

Yeah, it was start of a crazy time. I had a music festival and I was like, what if some maniac came out of the woods and just started hacking all these hippies up?

So I did this like political satire in a horror film.

Now, were you under the influence at that point or is that just how your brain works like this? Is your brain on David Arquette?

Yeah, a little bit of both. I mean, there's always sort of, you know, that those kind of functions, you're pretty loose.

How many screams are are going to be made? I know Scream five is in preproduction. If they if in like 20 years were on Scream nine, are you like I'm in just keep running back. Absolutely.

I love playing the character. I love working with Wes and Courtney. I mean, sorry, Courtney and Nev and I'll miss working with Wes for West to carry on with his legacy is a big part of this, just sort of being close to people who were a part of the originals.

You collect puppets. Yeah, a bunch of puppets, this is that's fucking creepy. I know this is a monkey who like waves, but he was in the beginning of the Pee wee's Big Adventure outside of the the bike store.

Oh, I love that. Oh, wait. So how many puppies do you have? Because, like, aren't you ever afraid that you're going to wake up one night and all the puppies will be animated and they'll be alive, ready to kill you if you have one puppet in your house, that puppet.

It's not as if it's just a when will they decide to come alive and kill you?

Why are you afraid of. Yeah, I'm afraid of puppets. They're fucking creepy, man. You were just saying that you were at a music festival, the happiest place in the world, and then you just imagined some dude coming in and hacking you up at you.

Oh, my God. That's the creepiest part of it ever. No, dude. No, no, no. Oh, that. It is going to kill you. What the fuck?

I'm sorry.

Do you just, like, look like when you look over your shoulder, you see that fucking creepy ass puppet? You're not you're not like, holy shit, what am I doing here? It's like looking in the mirror.

Oh, it's like a fart. You live in a fun house. What the hell. This guy. That's my grandpa. Oh, my God.

Dude, can you do that? I'm sorry. Can you do that thing with a bit of a puppet obsession?

Because we have puppets of Bootsy Bellows, so they go around and they dance and people take pictures with them, like, for instance.

Well, I think it's also one of those things that if you get one puppet, you might as well get one hundred because you're just a puppet, you know what I mean? Like a sliding scale. You just it's over. Once your first puppet has been purchased and put prominently in your house, it's that's a wrap.

Well, that first one, the real creepy one I showed you, my grandfather made that, so we've had puppets in our family for a long time.

Puppets in your blood. OK, do you do a ventriloquist thing?

Can you throw your voice or do you just have him around and just look at him while I do it really badly? That's just like I have. Like, we could see your mouth moving.

Jesus Christ, I'm I'm like upset at myself for even asking that question. What else do you collect? Anything else weird.

No, I mean, I collect just a bunch of stuff like these saltshakers. OK, this is old salty and cat and pepper.

OK, ok. Just stupid chat's kind of chubby Sgt. Pepper that we're going to be. That's also a puppet adjacent.

So I would categorize that is still under the puppet fetish, a small part right off the top of it. They are scared of clowns too.

I mean, yeah, I saw it as a kid.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. That's a problem. Yes. Yes. Have you ever thought about that? Like going back to scream? I mean, I remember when when it's the first scream come out like 1995 or so. Yeah. So it's like ten years old. I remember watching it being scared to death of like, oh, every time my parents leave the house I'm going to get a call on the phone and someone's going to get me up.

Do you ever think about like a generation of kids that watch that movie way too early and forever, like scarred by the Scream mask? Yeah.

Yeah, I know you have to be careful, like when you watch those or if you watch them alone or something like that. Yeah, it's a a lot of people seem way too early. I mean, yeah, you shouldn't watch them so early, but.

You know, maybe that's your next documentary, making the right that is the wrong of, like, scaring all these kids, I thought.

Yeah, I think that you actually scared my entire generation off of answering phone calls. Yes. Like we all talking on the phone. We'd much prefer that you text us instead.

I think that goes back to watching screen to be like, if I pick up my house phone, someone's going to come kill me.

I'm sorry, but I got no idea. Yeah. All right. So David Arquette, you cannot kill. David Arquette is coming out. Video-On-Demand August 28th, new documentary, also new film, The Thriller Spree in theaters on digital and on demand, August 14, 20, 20. I had one last question. It's me, Mindy's question. Communities dot com slash PMT. To get 15 percent off your first purchase, you got kicked out of Justin Bieber's 21st birthday party.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's the story there?

Or is this a bad situation?

That was my fault. Was that a lot? No, I was I was it supposed to be at this party? I, I was going to a friend's party that was in the same hotel and I'd just been on the elevator with all these people and I'd come out and you have to go into this place. And it was his party.

So, you know, it was a whole thing. Hey, this Sprey movie is insane. And it comes out Friday and it's it's so nuts. It's about influencers. And it's this guy who's got a he works for this ride share company called Sprey and he's trying to get followers. And it takes a really dark turn. It's a really trippy thing. There's this Instagram Kurts world ninety where you could sort of look up his this character. It's the kid, Joe Chiri, who's in stranger things and just amazing director.

It's a really intense film.

So now you're going to ruin like taking rideshares people. Now, my dad, strangers, by the way, we can't we can't call a cab because we're totally get a rude rideshares.

Far of fun. All right.

Yeah, sorry. I'm like, ruining everything. That's OK.

But you're redeeming yourself with wrestling. Yes, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I will. David, it's been awesome, we really appreciate it, man. And next time in New York City, come on by and check us out.

I sure will. A shout out to Jerry Kubic. My homeboy was a cop up there in Connecticut. He's a big fan. Oh, nice. There you go. Nice. Thank you. What's up, Jerry?

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OK, let's wrap up the show. We got guys on ChiX Billies list. Do we want to billies list. Yeah, let's check through it. It's really good here. We actually get all that. Yeah.

We pretty much hate all of it so we're good. No the list. Let's see. Yeah. Nield all this bad and should limit alcohol to one drink a day. Federal committee says OK government. Yeah.

The guy I have been into recently just moved for a job to Las Vegas. How likely is it that guys partake in sex with hookers in Vegas? Questionmark. Should I be expecting this to happen like some kind of Vegas initiation and everyone does it? Or do most guys not actually do this as much as I think? And do you have any of your own personal experiences with Vegas hookers? Thank you. Love you guys.

Yeah, definitely. Like once you enter into Vegas in the airport, there's a brothel, everyone stops and they play that one slot machine at the gate when they get off and then they go slide it in real quick and then boom, they're in Vegas. Yeah, I'm sure.

I'm sure with his job, too, there's like some type of, like, employee discount or like one of those like it's a perk. Yeah.

You know how when you land in in Hawaii, they automatically put the lay on you. It's like that in Vegas, except it's a vagina.

I if this girl is writing in and she's been like your boyfriend also who moves Vegas at this time. That's true. But you're like guys are either hooker hooker guys or they're not. And if you don't know, he probably is. Although if you can't definitively say, yeah, my boyfriend wouldn't get a hooker in Vegas when he goes there for a weekend moving, they're moving there probably for the hookers.

Maybe he's looking for a job. That's why he's there.

He's he's he's a pimp. So he's got to move to Vegas for it. But, yeah, if you are asking yourselves, would my boyfriend do something like this, he probably would.

There's nothing more electric, though, than going on a trip with somebody and then finding out that one of your friends is a surprise hooker guy. Then that's that's the talk of the trip for the entire like even after the trip is over, you like, hey, can you believe Craig big hooker guy got through the first night to the second night he's broke. Ask yourself this.

If he if he when you guys met, was he forward with you? Was he, like, talkative and picked you up or did you have to do the work as if you had to do the work? He's probably a hooker. Yeah. Does he got no no teeth and he's lazy and he's just like, I'm just going to pay for this. Does he leave money on the nightstand? Hmm.

Yes. Take showers all day.

Why's my boyfriend's number one best friend on Snapchat, his ex girlfriend. Why is was getting news? I don't know how any of that stuff works. Is Snapchat still like doing it?

I think Snapchat has converted full time to a photo editing service. People just use Snapchat to like make a Photoshop and take the screenshot.

But Snapchat I feel like was the thing and now it's just Tick-Tock is just wash them. Although now Instagram is focused their attention totally on ticktock. They forgot about Snapchat. Now with Snapchat to do Instagram. Watch Snapchat.

Yes, Instagram should or Snapchat should now start to copy Instagram and make their own ticktock.

Hmm. What do you Billy, as a 21 year old, I snap.

You know, it's a lot of like people who I'm friends with use Snapchat as their only messaging service. Really? Yeah.

See, I was I was going to kind of be proud of myself because I, like, withstood Snapchat. Like everyone was like, you got to get Snapchat. I was like now and I was like, I beat it. There you go. It's like I might not have it's waiting when the time changes for an entire five months until it switches back wrong.

Now, the writing you're doing the same with tick tock. I probably will be wrong on that one, but I'm trying. What what kind of a feature is that, though, where it allows other people to see who your best friends are and who you're secretly sending messages that will self-destruct, too?

I think he's just looking at the Snapchat, right? Yeah.

You got to go into their account. OK, it used to be public and that used to cause a lot of issues.

Yeah, because you might be snapping Snapchat to someone for like one night and then the next day your best friends. And then I hear about it.

I got it. Hey, boys, ever since you guys started playing Dungeons and Dragons, my boyfriend has been obsessed and asked me every day to go play with him. It sounds kind of nerdy. Should I play with him?

I guess, yeah. Just get dressed up like a dragon. Yes. He probably wants to fuck a dragon. Absolutely. Play with it. Cannot recommended enough.

All right. I think this person is just trying to fuck with me, but there's a lot of medical terms. So bear with me deer wise once I take off my pants.

I'm a medical assistant in a urology office and regularly I have to see other men's penises parentheses. I place catheters.

Yeah, yeah.

Catheters that are like like Federer, Tath, Kath's female federoff catheter, catheter, catheters, catheters placed catheters and assist with cystoscopies, stop cystoscopies and vasectomies cystoscopies spell that out seewhy esto sc copyists syst cystectomy. Yeah, there's no end though.

And vasectomies. The guy I'm seeing doesn't seem to mind, mostly because he has no idea that I have to touch penises on a daily basis. I haven't met any of his friends in person, but he constantly mentions his best friend and it's show me pictures of him because I asked one day his best friend showed up to the office and needed a catheter placed because he had seen or met me that he had no idea who.

I was unsure of what to do. I just quickly did what I've done a million times and moved on. I touched his penis.

Do I tell the guy I'm seeing or do I try and pretend like I've never seen him before?

Hmm. I think you have to keep that one. You have to keep that one quiet because his best friend probably doesn't want all his friends to know that he gets catheters.

Well, usually the person is unconscious when that happens, right. To get a catheter.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I wonder what's what's what's what is they.

Kathy, stick the catheter. Drop your. It's like when you can't pay they put a little tube up there and then I mean I've watched daytime television, it's all geared towards old old people and they're like, are you sick of reusing your catheters? All right, let's try this once. So, yeah, it's just it's a tube that basically just siphons urine out of your bladder. The Blackhawks girl is sorry.

That's right. Youngest team in the playoffs. I'm sorry, but that's a four to three oil change.

Oil changes. He Laker Dan put in finger frog Billy, I'm a redhead and my boyfriend keeps referring to my boobs as ginger biscuits and slapping them, he does in front of friends and even some family. I've asked them nicely to stop and he doesn't listen.

How can I retaliate? Start calling him the gingerbread man. I think I probably like that.

And then we'll be like, Can I get some milk? Yes, he'll really set them up.

Yeah, I haven't thought about that one. Yes. I don't think that you can. I think that this guy came for his balls and just start whacking those things. Yeah.

Whacking them around red balls. He's not a ginger. Yeah. Yeah. Just hit him in the nuts.

Solves everything. Love you guys. Wait, we have one more. A few more. I retract that, love you guys. No, I mean, if you got somewhere to go because the last one. Then there's a couple of good ones. All right, do you want to jump the gun? We'll do a couple. Are you guys still a.. Washing your apples? Need an update with a pandemic in all things?

Yes. Yeah, it builds up your immune system. I never heard of Apple having coronavirus. Yeah, if you have. Definitely. Definitely. If you haven't. I heard chicken wings can get coronavirus heard of an apple apple a day. Keeps the doctor away. That used to be the same help from a bunch of people that didn't have teeth. But yeah the red apple is the red quarterback jersey. My last one.

Hi my name is Ali but everyone calls me. I was wondering if I should be worried. My boyfriend always wants to piss on me when he's drunk.

That was the other thing. That same chick that blew all the sons was like, yeah, Trey Songz pissed on me.

She was like, Yeah, yeah. He started pissing me. I wasn't expecting it. And the other girls, like, say, who was Trey Songz? Yeah, sure.

It was the zero pressure. She's just like the Forrest Gump of penises. Yeah. I had to like all the famous genitally in the West and, you know, like, guys are going to still be like, oh, nice. Like, hit her up and then she's going to probably say more stuff about guys. Like, how could you say that? Know we know now peeing. Oh, I like this guy. I like this girl. We should get her on the lights and give her a podcast.

And Marsal Yeah, that's true.

That girl needs a catheter. Her boyfriend. Oh yeah. Good call Billy. What are you doing. Sent him out to pee. Nice dude. It's on you. Nice is all right. That's it. Caller Blatty, a podcast really about taking leaks on people. Perfect, Billy. Well, first of all, I love you guys. I retract retracting it earlier. So that's a double of you guys. Billy, final thoughts.

I love your face every time. Just just nothing that we can just know that we can't. What made you think? What what I like, I thought we can't. It's truly remarkable how little we ask you to do and how little you actually do towards those goals.

Anyone likes these rewards. Well, actually, they found a nineteen thousand year old and woolly mammoth in the permafrost and they are trying to use it to clone woolly rhinos.

Why are you treating these one days in another state like New China? Why can't we take. We're on the. Needless to say, we are also learning that life is okay to say, man snowboarded. He said, I'm sorry. Gaffing. Miyake oh oh. Highbridge. The safari dance. Oh, do I get a lovely. Moving back in the first three to bring it back then.