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On today's part of my take, we have the very, very funny Nate Bargatsy. He is in studio. We did this interview on Sunday morning.

Credit to us for coming in on Sunday morning.

Yes, awesome interview. One of the best dudes out there had a great time with him. He's got a podcast. He's on tour all the time. Go check him out. We're going to talk some college football Wednesdays. We have a jets discussion that needs to be had with one producer named Memes. We're going to do some hot seat, cool throwing, and the return of Guys on Chicks. Guys on Chicks officially back. It's all brought to you by our friends at Chevy. There's a new family with unstoppable grit, and they're the official partners of the Part of My Take family, and that is the Chevy Silverado ZR2 family. The first ever Silverado, Heavy Duty, ZR2 joins the franchise to make Chevy ZR2 the only truck brand with a full lineup of trucks ready for wherever your off-road adventures take you. With exclusive, multi-matic, DSSV, dampers, rugged mud terrain tires, and up to 14 available camera views. The Chevy Silverado ZR2 and Silverado HD ZR2, a family with commanding and an unstoppable grit. Head to chevy. Com. Check out Chevy Silverado and the family of Chevy ZR2s, the official trucks. Pardon my take. We are truck people. We are Chevy people.

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Take it higher.

Oh, we're going to rock down to electric avenue. It's a part of my take, presented by Marcy sports.

Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, November eighth. And my God, they got to stop putting Zach Wilson in prime time games.

Mr. Fourth Quarter, he had a nice drive at the end of the game. Well, it was awesome with Troy Ackerman. It was awesome. Troy Ackman was like, Now, this is where Zach Wilson really comes alive on that last drive when they were down, was a 27-6.

At the time. Yeah, no points, which hurt people who bet the over, which would have been a very lucky over. That was one of the most frustrating games to watch because the Jets defense is as legit as legit comes. They dominated that game from a defensive standpoint. I know Zach Wilson has no offensive line. Zach Wilson might be my favorite guy taking sacks because when he takes a sack, he doesn't go half-measure. He's not like, Oh, I'll just take this little sack here, this little five-yard sack. No, no, no. He's like, How far back can I get before I take this sack? How can I make sure that even... There's a theory floating out there that Zach Wilson takes such great third down sacks so that there's never even a doubt of going for it so we can get.

Off the field. Yeah, there's also the theory that the Jets offense line is so bad that it doesn't matter who they have at quarterback. Where it could be... Honestly, I think if they had Josh Dobbs at quarterback, they could figure it out. Josh Dobbs with zero practice reps is probably a better fit for that offense than Zach Wilson is. He looks confused in the middle of plays. After he takes his drop and he looks somewhat competent as he goes back there, and then as soon as anything off schedule starts to happen, he looks like he had never run that play before and he has no idea what his receivers are doing, what his offensive line is doing. I love it when Troy Ackman gets frustrated at players during the games because he actually does not hide his disgust for it. And you know who does hide their disgust for it? Who? His memes. Yeah. Because memes just goes radio silent when the jets are playing poorly.

He lost a password to our Twitter account. Pardon my take, Twitter account for anyone who was looking for updates on Monday Night Football. Sorry, there were none last night.

It's okay. It's not like there was a huge upset in basketball going on once in generation upset. He lost the password. That's fine. He lost the password. I understand. I'm not blaming-The WiFi went out. -yeah, Wi-Fi went out. I'm going to blame.

Hank, actually. Oh, so Wi-Fi, your phone doesn't work? Yeah, no. It's connected to the WiFi. That's too bad. You don't have cell service.

Hank is-Doesn't work pay for your.

Phone bill?

No, it doesn't. Well, it should.

But Hank, aren't you memes his boss?

I am.

How does memes lose the password?

He never reached out and ran that off the chain either. I would have been happy to facilitate getting him a.

Password or replacement. But as a boss, that doesn't set off red flags if there's no tweeting going on during Monday football or during the aforementioned college basketball upset.

It does. We mentioned it to him and he just didn't respond.

Hank was also busy because he was working on his Lighthouse presentation, which is coming out today?

Yeah, we'll get to that in Hot Seed.

Cool Throne. Oh, I thought, okay, all right, we'll get to it on Hot Seed, Cool Throne. So memes. Someone who tries to hide their disgust for Zach Wilson but does a really bad job of it is Robert Salah. After the game, he had one of the meanest quotes you can say about someone after Zach Wilson had a horrific Monday night. Again, their offensive line is bad. We're not going to say it's all on Zach Wilson. He just loves to run backwards and find a way to just get maximum amount of negative yards. But Robert Salah said after the game, I'm not going to say it was even close to Zach Wilson's worst game, which is so mean.

I.

Actually agree with that, though. It is, but it's also so mean to be like, What you guys just watched was really bad. He's been way worse.

Way worse. It's true, but it's a very mean truth. It's such a mean thing. It's an insult analysis.

Yeah. So, memes. Do you still think the jets are the best team in the NFC? The NFC standings took a hit this week. The jets playing the NFC, by the way, for anyone who doesn't know. The NFC standings took a hit. I put Lions 1, Jets 2, 49ers 3.

Seahawks 4, Eagles 5. Okay, you know ball memes.

Yeah. So where are you at, Memes? Because this is the most frustrating team to watch. I've been here before. Having a defense as good as the Jets defense and then having nothing to show on offense will make you just not want to be a sports fan anymore. The jets won that game with the... That was a very winnable game defensively and what they did to the chargers, but they just couldn't muster anything in terms of offense. Yeah, and the worst part is that was probably the most important game of the season. Oh! So if going into the game, if they would have won, their playoff chance goes to 66%. Now that they lost, it goes to 33%.

Oh! It's a big hit. It's a 50% drop, basically.

The chargers beat you 27-6 and they had 191 total yards of offense. Yeah, it's not a good Chargers team either.

No, it's not.

They did just beat you.

No, that's not saying much. Do you think that if you took USC's offense and put the jets defense on the team, do you think that they could beat the Chargers?

Yeah, by 50.

By.

50? Wow. Wait, but it'd be USC's offensive line? Yeah. That's fine.

Okay. If you're a Jets fan, your Super Bowl every single week is the same thing. That's getting to watch Aaron Rogers throw a couple of passes and warmups and being like, Well, when he comes back. It's a really good recipe for success when you take a 40-year-old quarterback that has one ankle and then you put him behind that offensive line. I think that's going to end up well for everybody.

Aaron Rogers, I've tried to make my peace with him. I think I've done a good job this year. It helps that he hasn't been playing. I mean, what's he doing? We criticized Russell Wilson for it. Aaron Rogers is doing the same thing. Monday night football comes around, Sunday Night Football comes around. He hops on a plane, goes to New York, throws a ball around on the field just so that every camera in the world can catch him and be like, Whoa, this.

Is crazy. Is he not with the team? Because I've been hearing stories about him being in meetings.

Oh, he might be back with the team now. But either way, every single game, you don't have to throw the passes before the game.

He's not taking simulated fist bumps, running out into the field, though.

But there's no reason for him to stand on the field throwing passes just so that all the cameras can be like, Aaron Rogers, look at him. He's throwing passes.

My theory about Aaron Rogers is he's a troll. He loves troll. He loves fucking with the media a little bit. I don't think that he's going to come back in a couple of weeks. I think he's doing this knowing that the media will see him on TV and talk about Aaron Rogers coming back and he's doing it to fuck with everybody. There might be an outside chance that if the Jets make the playoffs, he's back. I'm saying this as somebody, I did put a bet on Aaron Rogers to win Come Back Player of the Year, which was plus 10,000. I think I win $10,000. I think I won $10,000 and put 100 bucks on it. I'm hoping that happens. But I think he's fucking with us a little bit.

I think he's fucking with us. He did say after the game, who is he talking to? Derwin James. He's like, I'll be back in a few weeks. He didn't cover his mouth. Most of the.

Time, players cover their mouths when they're doing.

Those comments. There also is the theory. I saw one of the Levitard guys through this out there that is a good theory that maybe he never tours his Achilles. Oh, at all? He's just doing this to prove that modern medicine is Fugasi. He just didn't tear his Achilles. He had maybe a bad ankle injury.

I like that theory.

He did a fake... He was actually in a green screen studio with the picture of him in surgery. It was where they just taped.

The moon landing. Stanley Kubrick field it.

Yeah. I mean, there's only one guy that this theory actually would give me... I wouldn't be like, No chance that's true. It's Aaron Rogers. You couldn't do this theory for Kirk Cousins.

No. You could do.

This theory for Aaron Rogers.

Although we saw his calf. We saw his calf rupture a little. It was like the KD thing. Yeah. Well, he got the same type of surgery, right? The Speed Bridge that... What's his name? It's Bionic. Yeah, Georgia. Brock Bowers had.

No, Brock Bowers had an ankle injury. He had the zip tie put in his ankle.

I thought that was also a speed bridge. I know it was a different.

Injury, obviously. Yeah, that's the Alabama ankle, the two-a-thing where they're like, Oh, you have a really bad sprain. Let me just zip tie your ankle together.

The doctor actually just takes you into the surgery room and just rubs some dirt on my ankle. We're going to get back out there. But I don't think he's as close to coming back, especially if you see that offensive line. Like, why would you come back off the most major surgery you can have and then agree to play.

Back then. Right. He's throwing the ball. He's not running around, running for his life, which he'd have to do. It would be a great story. I'm rooting for him to come back. He's a reformed Aaron Rogers fan or former haters, now fan, I'm rooting for him to come back. I just think that it's a little much every single Sunday or Monday being like, Do you see this pass?

I think they should have him just run out onto the field with the American flag before every game.

That was.

What memes was in. That would recreate.

Memes had his password to his account. Yeah. Because he did tweet, This was cool. It was just a video of Aaron Rogers coming out on the field. His Wi-Fi worked for that.

That should be his job for the rest of the year. Just get the people amped up.

Memes. You're on.

He's giving Max a desk there for not turning his mic. Yeah, Max forgot to push the button again.

This is lash out. Memes is such a dick. He's such a dick.

He's such a dick. Now is fucking mics off. This is great, though, because it's really... Like, memes cares a lot about The Jets, and he's acting accordingly. Going radio silent, being a dick to everyone. This is how people should cope with their team, coming to the realization that you're wasting an all-time defense on Zach Wilson.

I just wish that The Jets would make it fun, at least.

And we get them again.

Sunday night. Great. We need to see them do something that's entertaining. We threw out all the best names as quarterbacks that should step in on a week-to-week basis. Can you imagine how funny it would be watching Carson Wents behind that offensive line? Why not? You want to talk about a guy running for his life and completely losing it in the backfield. Carson Wents would be so funny.

He'd break both ankles again. The upcoming standalone games is the true sick-o hour. It's like we're testing our medal as sports fans because you have to remind yourself that in May, you would kill for these games. But we have Thursday Night, Bears, Panthers, Sunday morning in Germany, Colts, Patriots. Sunday night, Raiders, Jets. Monday night, Broncos, Bills.

Broncos, Bills might at least be fun. -one good team.

Yeah. It is really going to like, you sure you love football? Watch every single one of these standalone games. Then we can tell you that you love football.

I do.

Love football. I do too. I will be watching. If I read that same list to you in July, you'd be like, give it.

To me right now. I can talk myself into anything. Now, I might watch the morning game in Germany from bed and maybe take a snooze at half time. I might not be totally focusing on that. But the jets, just don't give us the jets in prime time anymore, please. I'm begging you.

This is the last one. The tears in my eyes. They have a Black Friday game, which we will also have college football on that day, so you can at least have something else.

To watch. Yeah. The jets were not playing football last night. No. It was not a football game.

You're on. No, and then... I'm on. Yeah, you're on. Then when they're playing that bad, I just don't know why they just don't give the ball to Bruce Hall a thousand times. Then they put Dalvin Cook in who does nothing. So Bruce Hall does good. Put Dalvin Cook in, does absolutely nothing. They should cut him. I hate Dalvin Cook. Oh, recurring guests. Yeah, no, I'm done with the Delvin Cook experiment.

Just Bruce Hall. Do you think it has anything to do with maybe the grotesque offensive line he's running behind and.

The fact that they know they can't pass?

Yeah. No, you could still get downfield. You can still run. Yeah, you could still run. You could still run. Running backs run. That is true. Good analysis. Running backs do run. Overall memes, final thoughts?

I think the season is over.

Okay.

Wow, that was quick. That was really quick. They went from being the one seating the NFC to season over, overnight.

I mean, the Zach Wilson roller coaster ride is just not. You want to get off. You've puked all over yourself so many times, and it's like a carney with three teeth that just keeps hitting it even harder. Like, Hey, you're puking? Well, I'm not letting you get off my ride. That's what's happening. It's Iowa football. You saw the point-return touchdown last night and you're just like, All right, the game is over. Well, no, no, no, no, no. Iowa would never give up a point-return. You're right. Their special team is elite.

But.

Still, to my point, point-return touchdown game is over, and then you just have to watch four quarters.

Of shit. At least it seemed like the game went by pretty quick last night. Did I just make that up or it ended.

Pretty early? Yeah, it did. It felt like it went by a good brisk pass. That game took forever. No, I thought it was fun. No. All right, so before we do college football, we should also mention last night, J. M. J. M. U. Yes. I don't know if you had on your Hot seat, Cool Throne, but I figured they deserve the beginning of the show.

They have a basketball team? They do have a basketball team. Hank, we talked about it on Monday's show, and I said, Yeah, they're playing against Michigan State. You're like, gross. You're going to get your ass kicked. Well, it turns out it was going to be my hot seat. My hot seat was going to be Tom Izzow.

Sorry.

Back on the hot seat.

I figured, J. M. U. Deserve the.

Beginning of the show. They do. I appreciate that. I appreciate the acknowledgment for the University of Virginia, J. M. U. Tom Izzow, we put him on the hot seat as a take that we were squatting on, or at least I did back in 2016. I don't want to lump you guys into my.

Bad take. No, I think I've been like... Let's just say I haven't been pushing back.

Yes. It was 2016.

I don't totally agree, but I'm not like, PFT, you're crazy.

It was 2016, and Tom Izzow was still very much, and still very much is a great basketball coach. But I knew that at some point, the final fours weren't going to come at a rapid enough basis for people to be like, Oh, Izzow is still the greatest coach in college basketball. We just squatted on the table and said, Tom Izzow is overrated. We don't actually believe it now, but just wait because the conversation is going to happen. We want to be the first ones to say it. Now, I'm starting to believe it a little bit. Here's some fun stats about the game last night. You ready for this?

Yeah.

Michigan State is the first top five team to lose its season opener against an unranked opponent since 2005. Do you know who lost that game? Who? It was also Michigan State who lost to Hawaii.

That was a by-game, too. They paid J. M. U. To come and play basketball.

Yeah, we cucked him.

They paid for.

Their friends. Tom Izzard sat in the corner and touched his tiny little penis while J. M. U. Just dunked all over his court. I was like, Yeah, I like it. I like watching do that to my court.

I feel like Tom Izzard might have a hog.

You think so? Yeah. He's a little guy.

I know. -he might as Italian. -i think he's Italian. Italian, Italian, Italian.

He might have used to have a hog. But I don't know. I've seen him wrap his hands around his player's throats before. Looks like he's got some experience gripping wide shafts. James Madison beat them in '79-'76. It's Michigan State's first November home loss since 1986. Long time. It's also Jamie's first win against a ranked opponent since 1992 when we beat Jason Kidd. I think they were ranked like number 19 in the country. It was left to Drizel as our head coach at the time. Yeah, it's very cool. J. M. U. Is a good team. They're a good basketball team. I think they're picked by the coaches to finish first of the Sunbelt. They've got some good players. I will say that Michigan State probably won't shoot as they did last night.

One for 20.

One for 20 from three.

And 14 free throws missed.

Yeah, the first half, they missed everything. The refs, by the way, refs and the announcements.

Both of them. Trying very hard to get Michigan State to win.

That game. They tried so hard. They should be arrested and should be investigated. I think that there's some funny stuff going on up in East Lansing. But yeah, they also... J. M. U. Played them tough. I don't think Michigan State is going to play that poorly. They'll probably be fine. But if you beat the number four team in the country, Big Cat, in their own stadium- Yeah, you should be number four. -you should be number four in the country. Yeah, you should get to keep it. You walk.

Away with that ranking.

It's a big year for J. M. U. Sports. Not only are we in line for a New Year's Sixth Bowl, potentially, if the NCAA completely changed his mind about everything. They always do. Also, we're 1-0 in basketball with a huge win. Our soccer team just beat the number one team in the country, UCF.

Look.

At that. Duke Dogs, baby.

Yeah, J. M. U. Should be the number four team in Michigan State should be picked to win the Sunbelt. Agreed. They should be swapped.

Fully swapped. I think that's fine.

Did you see the Wild meter part of the game? Oh, yeah. Matt Buckland, J. M. U. Assistant coach is the nephew of Tom Izzah. He is his uncle.

That.

Is wild. That is wild. Opening night. Uncle Tom's cabin is going to be pretty empty around Thanksgiving.

Damn. Wow. Wild meter. Big-time wild meter. It was great to have college basketball back. When you were rattling off all that stuff about Izo, is Tom Izo Aaron Rogers? And Aaron Rogers is Tom Izo?

Yeah, I think so.

They win one early.

Have.

Some success final fours, NFC Championship Games, win one early enough that everyone talks about you in this status, in this tier that you don't belong.

Yeah. Also it helps that he's best friends with Coach K and Jim Bayhine.

Everyone's like, Oh, Coach K and Izzo. They just won championships. They've won.

Six together. Yeah, they go out together as a crew. Between them, they've got 10 championships.

Right. They're teams both in the Midwest. Yeah.

Good point. I think Izzo probably still hasn't called off practice yet. They probably stayed at the gym and practiced for about 10 hours last night. Probably has some shooting foul shots. He's going to use this as motivation.

No, this loss was good.

They'll make a run. I think Michigan State is going to be a pretty good team.

The one thing that you can go to if you're a Michigan State fan because you obviously spent all football season saying, Wait till basketball season. Then basketball season started and you lost to J. M. U. At home. The national title team lost to Wright State in the nonconference and 11 and 17 Wright State. Those are the mental gymnastics you just have to do right now.

This is a good wake-up call for that program.

Yeah. I think they played Duke next week.

At the United States. Here in Chicago, yeah. I also think that now that Beiheim is in the media, he's going to be gassing up Izzo.

Did you see that one guy at the Carrier Dome? I love that guy. There's a guy at the Carrier Dome that said, Syracuse alum, first game since 1975. First game back since 1975. Jim Beiheim started his coaching in 1976. He just hates.

Jim Bayhame.

I respect the hell of that. It's awesome. I mean, imagine, because the guy, he was an alum, old. Imagine holding onto a grudge knowing that he might outlive you. Jim A. I. Might still coach and you'll be dead and you just outlive that grudge. No, that's the best moment he.

Ever had. He had a necklace. The necklace with a sign on it was so good. That guy probably hates his own defense. He loves man to man. He's like, Thank God that guy is going. I can't watch that shit anymore.

He follows all safety protocols when driving a car, that stuff. Yep.

1-0 in the Red Eltree era.

0-1-1 against the spread. Sorry. All that matters. Sorry. All thatyears. You should win by more than 14 if you're Syracuse playing. Who do they play? New Hampshire. New Hampshire. Yeah, you should win by more than 14. Okay, let's get some college football before we do that. A quick word from a couple of our sponsors. Simplysafe, there's never a wrong time to protect your home, but this fall happens to be an especially good time because you can get up to 50% off a brand new Simply Save home security system. It was named the best home security of 2023 by US news and World Report. Simply Save is comprehensive protection for the whole home with advanced sensors that detect break-ins, fires, floods, and more, plus HD cameras for both inside and out. It's powered by 24/7 professional monitoring for less than one dollar a day. Half the cost of traditional home security. With new 24-7 live guard protection and smart alarm, wireless, indoor camera monitoring agents can see and speak to intruders. Simplysafe is going to keep you safe even when you're not at home helping stop crime in real time of powerful technology exclusive from SimplySafe.

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He has a stat. In the last five games, Jaylen Millrose, 25 of 40 for passes of at least 15 air yards for 764 yards and 11 touchdowns.

Yeah, their offense is so fun to watch because I don't think they really trust them with an intermediate passing game? No. They just have him do dump offs. They'll have him do wide receiver screens, bubble screens. Then they're like, You know what? Fuck it, Jaylen. Just throw it deep. Because he's got a great deep ball. And he's also able to run the ball. He ran over Harold Perkins. Yeah. He put Harold Perkins in the ground.

He also made a couple of plays. So Saturday night was just like pure college football ecstasy when we had L. S. U. Alabama, and then at the same time, Washington versus USC. It was four quarterbacks just playing out of their minds. Just every single minute you look back and it's either Jaden Daniels or Jaley Millrow or Michael Pennox or Kale Williams making an incredible play. But Jaley Millrow, that move he makes where he looks like he's not going to run, and then he just hits the turbos and everyone is caught standing in place. He had that one touchdown run where he rolled right and he kept his shoulders cocked for a throw and all the LSU players just stood in place. Then he just hit this little tiny hole for a 15-yard touchdown. It's incredible watching him play football because he was so bad in that Texas game and the start of the season. I was at that Texas game and Alabama fans were like, How are we going to be able to figure this out? I think our take was right from September. I think this is nick Saban's best coaching job.

I think he would agree.

With that. Because what they've done with Jayle and Millrow, his ability now, they're playing to his strengths. He's able to get outside the pocket. They're not making him a pocket passing. Alabama, it feels like Destiny that they're going to play Georgia in the SEC.

Championship game. They could beat Georgia. If they beat Georgia, both of those teams get into the college football playoff, I think. Now it's going to get interesting because you can make the argument like what happens with Michigan and Ohio State and then you got Florida State as well.

I think Michigan and Ohio State is an.

Elimination game. You think so? Yeah.

It depends.

What happens this weekend with Penn State.

If they're both undefeated in that game, the only way that it's not an elimination game is if other teams catch a couple of losses. Like if Florida State loses, if Texas loses again and Michigan beats Ohio State close, Ohio State could find a way to sneak in. Essentially what.

Happened last year. You know what's going to be funny, though? Because Texas has a very good possibility. They could drop an easy one to TCU or something.

They go to TCU, then they go to Iowa State, which.

Would be tough. Yeah. It's by no means like a gimmmy schedule for them. But if they end up with one loss and Alabama ends up with one loss, but Alabama beat Georgia- It's Texas. -then Texas gets left out, even though Texas's best win is over Alabama, who has the best win over Georgia.

I think they would, as crazy as it sounds to not have any SCC teams in the final four, if you had Florida State undefeated, if you had Michigan undefeated, and Texas... Actually, what they'd probably do is keep out the Pac-12. That's what they would do. They put Texas and Alabama in.

If Washington goes undefeated?

Yeah, I guess could still go undefeated. Yeah. I think they put Texas in over Alabama, though. You can't have, I mean, head to head has to count.

But yeah, it does to people that make sense and think logically, but to the people that are so invested in college football and have had Alabama around for so long as part of this national juggernaut. I do think that if Alabama beats Georgia in the SEC Championship Game, they would get in over Texas, even though Texas beat them. I don't think so. Because Texas lost because you can flip that coin. This is what's so funny about these arguments is you can flip the coin and say, Well, Texas lost to Oklahoma, who might stink now? Alabama's loss was to a really, really good Texas team. Texas team is so good that they might even be better than Alabama.

Yeah, the only problem is the Alabama. Right now Texas is in front of Alabama, I believe. The Georgia win would maybe push them. What's so funny is I love this time of year because we play out all these hypotheticals. It will all get figured out. I think there will be losses that we don't see coming that will happen. There will be like, Holy shit. I guess that eliminates that team. It could be, Washington loses, then Oregon catches a loss, then Oregon beats Washington in the pack to world championship or something like that. Or like you said, Michigan maybe lose to Penn State and all this is like, what are we even talking about? It's funny, though, because we go through all these hypotheticals, and the thing that I would bet on more than anything is chaos around the country, Alabama beating Georgia, and then both of them getting in. Yeah. We spent all season being like, But what if the SEC doesn't get anyone in? No, that's right. It's like, no, maybe they get two teams as always.

That's what I'm saying. I think we're going to end up with Georgia and Alabama in the final four. I could be wrong. I do think that Michigan is going to smoke Penn State. Sorry, Max.

It just depends on if they're going to - There's undefeated teams. You can't put a one-lost team over an undefeated team.

I agree. That just won't happen. I agree. I think Penn State, their defense is really, really good, Max. I want to start off by paying you a compliment. Penn State's defense is as good as probably almost any team that I've seen this year. But their offense is just jet's caliber.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, thank you. Drew Aller.

Could be good, but I will be at Penn State.

Michigan this weekend.

Definitely lost. No, I think that means that- 100 %. That's a point for why they're going to win? Well, I'm due. Okay. Yeah, but you've been due for a while. You're like 10 months regular.

It's also a regular season. You do good there.

Which? Yeah, that's true. No, college football is different. College football is different.

It's like every game is a playoff game in college football. Are we going to miss that next year?

No.

The fact that there's going to be a 12-team playoff. If you have two losses that would normally completely sink your season, are we going to miss how much each game means?

No, because games will still matter a lot when you have buys and home games. The buys are going to be huge. Think about it. A team like LSU with Jaden Daniels, who's having a Heisman caliber season, but his defense sucks, could still be playing for a playoff spot right now, even with three losses. I know that people make the argument like, Oh, it diminishes the regular season. We're just going to shift. The teams 8-12, when they have one or two losses, are going to still be playing for a lot. Penn State would still be playing for them to get into the college football playoff. Oklahoma would somehow still be alive on an outside chance. All these teams would still have a chance. I think it will be better. -it's going to make it -Arizzona should get a talk. -yeah.

-arizzona has been awesome. It's going to make it more like a normal sport where you're allowed to lose a game occasionally. -correct. -it doesn't mean that you suck.

But I still think the importance of not catching that second loss will still be very, very important because of Bys and Homefield. If they figure it out, I can't remember what the setup is. I think it's the first round goes home field. The difference between one loss and two losses could be a home game versus not, which it matters greatly in college football home games. I think it will still be fun. I wish we had a 12-team playoff this year because there is a ton of parity. The craziest thing about Alabama, and if you go by this theory, which makes sense, you look at basically Ari waserman, who works at the athletic. It's a very common sense theory, but he actually put a tag to it a few years ago. And so once you put a good name on it, basically, everyone becomes mainstream. The Stars Matter theory, which makes perfect sense, like having good players matter. And if you look at the recruiting profile of national title teams, it's essentially like you have to be at a certain threshold to win a national title. You have to have the dudes to win a national title.

And the only three teams that are in that upper, upper echelon are Ohio State, Georgia, and Alabama. So you just let Alabama, who could very well win a national title with the dudes they have, back into the conversation.

Dudes Matter.

Stars Matter. Dudes Matter. In Michigan obviously, it's a very good profile. I like the Michigan obviously.

It's a very good profile. Fight back against toxic femininity.

Out there. Yeah, but it's the TCU last year. Tcu had an incredible run. But if you look at their recruiting profile, it's like, There's no chance they can beat Georgia. There was no chance they.

Could beat Georgia. They were just completely outsized. They shouldn't have beaten Michigan. But the coaching matters too, Big Cat. That's the one thing.

Stealing signs matters. Let's talk about that. The latest update on Connor Stallions, he quit, resigned.

Yeah, he resigned.

He resigned. Ride-or-die guy. I think there's never been a guy that I'm more sure that will not snitch than.

Connor Stallions. Kept his.

Mouth shut. Kept his mouth shut. Now we're in a weird spot where the big 10, and as a member of the Big Ten, I can say this, are being a bunch of cry babies. Michigan did cheat. They probably should get some suspension or something. But this whole anonymous meetings of all the big ten coaches and ADs and being like, Jim Harbaw should be disbanded, that's fucking cry baby shit. You haven't beaten him in two years. Don't put your name on it. You know what I mean? If you want to say that Jim Harbaw should not be coaching right now, put your name on it. Don't do the anonymous source shit. Say, come out. A coach should come out and say he should not be coaching right now because then I think all coaches are probably scared because then they open up Pandora's box of what are they doing in the gray area. Anytime there's like, Oh, yeah, all the teams met, and we don't have anyone on record, but they all think that Michigan should never play football again, shut up.

I love all the extra wrinkles that are coming out about how people are speculating that it's Ryan Day's brother who is a CIA member who was in charge of the investigation.

Fourth.

And one investigation. Apparently, whoever, is that the name of it? Yeah. Shut the fuck up. Fourth and one investigation?

I think it's fourth and one private investigation.

Is his entire law firm just based around of drawing those lines on the field to see whether or not Michigan made a first down in that one Thanksgiving Day game?

Yeah, fourth and one investigation is in protective agency LLC.

I love that. All the conspiracies around that are just so perfect. There are people saying that there's now been alleged computer crimes committed. Yes. Whoever was in charge of the investigation illegally accessed some of Michigan school records, which is that would be would be so perfect if they committed an actual crime in order to set up Michigan or uncover a fake crime, a college football crime that Michigan was doing. Then somebody ended up having to go to jail for a federal data security crime and got Jim Harbough fired, which college football fans are so crazy they'd probably take that deal. Yeah, I'll do two years. Yeah. Send me off to the-.

Conner Stallions would do life in prison if it meant Michigan won a national title.

The problem I have with Conner Stallions, and this is where it starts to get fishy for me. He is like a big op-sec guy. He knows about espionage. He knows about sign stealing, covert operations. Why did he put his name on all these transactions? Why did he put his name on the ticket purchases, knowing that he was on record as being on the Michigan staff? Something with that is a little bit fishy. That doesn't add up to me for him. Is it actually Jim Harbaugh and he made up Connor Stallion?

Listen, that's what this entire investigation is going to come down to, is if they can find proof that Jim Harbaugh knew. Because that's really all... Michigan is now being like, Hey, yeah, Conner Stallion is acted alone. That's our defense. It is funny because the NCAA changed their bylaws, I can't remember. It was a few years ago where they basically make every college football team, they can prosecute them under the Rico Act, where it's like no college football coach can say, Well, I didn't know. They're basically like, If he's employed, you knew. But that's what they're going to have to try to prove. They're going to have to show how Jim Harbaugh knew. Otherwise, they'll give him a slap on the wrist and Carter Stalians will be gone. Then Michigan be like, Well, yeah, we didn't know. He acted alone.

Actually, if you're Michigan, people complaining like, Oh, Michigan is holding up this entire investigation, what do you expect them to do? Do you expect Michigan to be like, Okay, we're going to come clean. Here's everything that we knew and how we knew it. No, you're going to drag your feet because you're going to be competing for a national championship. You don't want anything to come out in the next couple of weeks. You're going to be putting off meetings left and right. You're going to be changing calendar invites saying, Oh, sorry, I didn't get that. I thought it was in Central time, not Eastern time. They're going to be absolutely holding this investigation up because the big 10, they do have all the power. The big 10 could have said, We're going to let the NCAA handle this and we're going to put it in their court. But the big 10 is investigating, and they are the ones that could do something about it. If they found something, but also if you're the big 10, and why would you? Because you've got a team with a chance to go to Naddy and then you all get money.

Correct. You know what? The big 10 should be investigated under the.

Reco Act. You can't, if you're the big 10, be like, Oh, Michigan is not playing the big 10 championship, or Michigan, the rest of their season doesn't count. You just sign these huge, huge TV deals and Michigan is very important to those TV deals. I think they're just going to keep passing the buck being like, No, NCAA, you figure out. All right, NCAA, you take forever. What's going to end up happening is Michigan is going to play the whole season. Nothing's going to happen a year from now. They're going to be like, Oh, Michigan, you can't have... We're taking away 10 recruits.

Yeah, and then Harbaugh is going to be gone. Yeah.

Then we'll all be like, Okay, well, I guess that's how it's settled.

I love that Michigan is now becoming a big due process guys. Let's wait for due process. We all get due process. Jim Harbaugh is going to get into the sovereign citizen movement and be like, I don't have to say a word, lawyer. That's all you're going to say. Shut the fuck up Fridays.

Lawyer.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, that's all. Michigan can very easily get away with it this year and then who knows what happens.

In the future. Yeah, they want to.

Win a national title this year. What they can prove. But if they win a national champion... That is, I think, my dream scenario is that Michigan wins the national title and then for the next 100 years.

Yeah, we strip it. We make fun of it. But Michigan fans are like, put flags.

Fly forever. But those wins.

Didn't happen. Yeah, it's going to be great.

It's going to be great. Then we get into a big court battle over whether or not they're allowed to actually have a national championship banner in.

Their stadium. Yeah, JJ McCarthy is not allowed back on campus. The stats didn't tell us. The Chris Webber situation. Yeah, all that stuff. All right, a couple of other things we got to touch on. Bedlam was awesome. I'm happy for Oklahoma State. Having Oklahoma leave and the rivalry be done. You had to win that last game. The non-PI call was hilarious because I have no problem if Big 12 officials were like, Yeah, fuck them. They played some Taylor Swift after. I think it was never getting back together.

We were never getting back together.

-back together. I'm happy for Oklahoma State. That was great. They were playing good football. They could easily be in the Big 12 Championship game. I'm happy for Oklahoma State, Mike Bundy. You have to win your last game if your rival is leaving you for.

Greener Pastures. I agree. Mike Bundy has a great set-up in Stillwater, too. We were talking about this a couple of weeks ago with Penn State of how if you're not ever really going to be the point we're going to win a national championship, carve yourself out a nice little niche and be happy with it. Mike Bundy has been a great coach for... When was that? I'm 40. I'm a man's speech. That was 2007.

It was 10, 15.

Years ago. It was so long ago. He's got seasons where he flashes, where you talk about their offense. This year, it's not their offense, really. Their defense has been...

Well, they're running back. Ali is one of the best. He missed the first few games. He's incredible. He's gotten into a Dark Horse Heisman, which I think the Heisman, by the way, now that Jaden Daniels lost to Alabama and he's been playing phenomenal and his defense shouldn't count against him. I think the Heisman is going to just come down to if Oregon and Washington play in the Pac-12 Championship game, Bonics or Michael Pennex, who plays better. And it would be so awesome if Bonics won the Heisman after the meme. It would just be full circle. Bonics just, I think it was last week, hit the most college football games, played as a quarterback. You know what would be great about it?

It would be so perfect because we would get two separate Bownicks for Heisman campaigns in the same year. Yeah. And it feels like we've had those for the past five years. It's free. It feels longer. Now he gets two in the last one.

But it does feel like the winner, unless Marvin Harrison Jr. Puts up 300 yards and five touchdowns in Michigan. Masarati-marv? Masarati-marv. I think that it will come down to those two guys playing head to head and.

Who wins. Jaden Daniels, by the way, with the LSU loss, I almost want to upgrade LSU in my personal rankings for that loss because they were right in the game when he was playing and he got concussed. He gets knocked out. That's a great trade if you're Alabama. If or Alabama, and if you're an LSU fan, you're like, Hey, you remember Devon White? You remember what happened with that? Yeah. A little reciprocity here? Yeah. But the way LSU played before their quarterback got knocked out, you could make the argument that they deserve to at least hold firm in the standing.

Yes, I'd agree. All right, last two things I had. Lincoln Riley finally decided that whatever blackmail Alex Grinch has on him is not worth it. He got fired. Alex Grinch, one of the most confusing defensive coordinator jobs. It feels like forever we've been talking about him. He finally got fired because that was pathetic, USC, and they're tackling and just guys. Every single time Michael Pennex dropped back, there was a guy wide open. They don't tackle. They do not tackle. Kale Williams, people were getting on him for crying. I'm fine with it.

Yeah, I'm okay with crying.

Cry.

Why not? Cry is not bad.

Yeah, I'd cry if I had that defense, too.

You're allowed to cry two times. You're allowed to cry if you lose a big game because it shows that you are committed to your teammates and you're allowed to cry during the national anthem.

Not before the Super Bowl if you lose.

Retroactively.

Yes.

Retroactively, don't do that. Yeah, I was listening to the Andy Staples show earlier this week, and he was talking about how actually it would be a good thing for Grinch to get fired. It would have been a good thing for Grinch to lose his job in the offseason even, because the way that Lincoln Riley runs their practices, they don't allow tackling. Maybe once a week, they'll do some live drills. Out, but their defense doesn't practice tackling ever. If you go to a different program with a different coach that gives a shit about defense, like Georgia, for example, he said, most big programs, they will allow you to tackle and practice.

Well, it's a theme that we've seen a lot with air raid offense. The defenses usually struggle because in practice, the air raid offense is just fucking ripping them apart and they never get to practice against like... They never get to actually practice fundamentals. They're just trying to.

Catch up. You can get all the $100,000 tackling dummies that you want that have wheels on the bottom and robot antennas that move around. But you should actually.

Practice tackling. You should practice tackling. Last thing I had, and he is a friend of the show, but people get upset when we don't criticize our friends. I will do it right now. I thought Deion putting Pat Schumer as the offensive coordinator was a crazy move. I know Sean Lewis is a friend and he went to Wisconsin, but Sean Lewis was not the problem with Colorado. It felt like Deion is trying to press panic buttons left and right. They did Sean Lewis pretty dirty. Pat Schumer is a bad coach. They went into that game against Oregon State. They had three points in 78 yards through three quarters. That offense was not Sean Lewis's fault. The Colorado's problems was not Sean Lewis's fault.

That bottom line was very deceiving in that game because Colorado was never.

In it. No, and they scored at the end. But yeah, that was not Sean Lewis got done dirty. He was not the problem. Their offensive line is not great. Their defense has struggled. Sean Lewis was very low on the list of issues with Colorado, and it felt like Deion just needed someone to blame. That sucks because I don't think that was the right move. I thought that was a shitty move by Deion.

Pat Schumer is the all-time people forget that he was head coach of the New York Giants.

Yeah, and the Browns. And the Browns. A really.

Bad head coach. Very bad head coach. A really bad head coach. Deion is going to get bigger dudes, though. Once he gets bigger dudes, I think Colorado will be good. I think they'll even improve on this season and then some next year. Right now, they were a nice story to start the year because no one really saw it coming, but they're not built to win this year.

I think.

Jadorsha Go pro, I think Deion will have problems getting bigger dudes who have to block for his son. It's a weird dynamic. You have to at least admit that it's a weird dynamic for the head coach to openly trash his offensive line who's blocking.

For his son. He also trashed his son, though. Yeah, he did. He said, We had a lot of problems off into line, including.

The quarterback. Yeah, and I'm still bullish on Deion long term. I just thought that that one move was a panic move that made Sean Lewis look bad and look like the failure here when it's way bigger than that. The success they had early, how everyone talked about them, ourselves included, doesn't help with them coming back down to Earth.

Yeah, I mean, we just didn't want to get called out by Dion. Right. We were very transparent about that. We picked them to win every game.

This season. I'll tell Deion that I don't think he should have had Pat Schumer call plays. I'll text him that. Hope he doesn't see it.

Did they find the stuff that was stolen at the Rose Bowl?

What was stolen?

Oh.

Yes, they did.

They did? They did. Okay, good. They did.

They found it. This is a recurring thing for Dion. Yeah, he gets a lot of.

Stuff stolen. Well, he's.

Got swag. Maybe change your.

Security, Dion. He's got swag. He also... All right, here's one positive for Deion. Ditch to sunglasses.

Yep.

He's listening.

Yep.

Smart move.

Oh, Arthur Smith also shaved the mustache.

Smart.

Move.

Smart move is the smart move. You got to minimize the mistakes that you're putting out there with sunglasses and mustache. All right, let's do Hotseat, Cool Throne. It's brought to you by our friends at Corez Light. Hotseat, Cool Throne always brought to you by Corez Light. Fall doesn't have to be a buzz kill. Corez Light helps you find moments to unwind. Big work presentation. Follow it with a happy hour, some friends, and a cold Coors Light. Weekend chores. Take Saturday off and hit the tailgate. Even if you don't have tickets to the game, whenever you need to hit reset, reach for a Coars Light. It's made to chill. There's only one beer out there that's literally made to chill, and that's Corez Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. That way you always know when it's time to chill, we need to hit reset. Just open a Corez Light. It's a mountain-cold refreshment, made to chill. We love Corez Light. It is the best beer in the world, the coldest beer in the world. Coors Light is perfect for football season, perfect for tailgate season. Coars Light is the one we choose when we need to unwind, maybe hit that Friday afternoon, weekend time, sit on the couch, unwind with the Coars Light.

So when you want to hit the reset, reach for the beer that's made to chill. Get Coars Light delivered straight to your door with Drizly or Instacart by going to coarslight. Com/take. Celebrate responsibly Coars Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Coars Light, the best beer out there. Hot seat, Cool To Run brought you by Coars Light. Hank.

A Hot seat is myself.

Why is that?

After the Patriots Commanders game, the Patriots lost, I knew I had to do a presentation.

I.

Started, I wanted to get started early. I had some thoughts in my mind. I wanted to put a pen to paper via laptop.

I-you want to put finger to button?

-finger to button. -max?

Shout out to max. Couldn't find my laptop. Searched all around Sunday, just couldn't find it. I walked around a hundred times. You guys probably saw me just coming in, looking underneath things, trying to find it, trying to retrace my steps. Knew I had it here. Find my iPhone. Had it here. Every time I've left the office, it said, You've left your laptop behind. I knew it was in the facility. Couldn't find it. Slept on it. I said, I'll come back tomorrow stronger, better, faster, hungrier. Find it Monday.

Nope.

I spent all day Monday. I was losing my mind.

Earlier this fall, you said that you're going to be all work during the fall. You weren't going to be golfing, no time off.

I'm going to be living at the office.

You're going to be working all the time. You haven't had your laptop for how long?

It was the last scene on Thursday. I had calls. I had meetings yesterday that I did at my home because I have a PC there, but I did it.

Then I came in. I thought you were going to be living at the office, though.

I had to do these calls. I didn't want to do them on my phone.

Well, your computer was at the office.

I couldn't find it. I could not find it.

So you lost your computer for seven days? No. And you are the CEO of this company.

I lost my computer for a couple of days. The weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, as we know. Then it's basically one day. I lost my computer for one day Monday. Then I came in super early to find it so I could do this presentation. I have a good outline. I have some thoughts. I needed to put it together.

Can I see the outline?

No, we'll save it for Friday.

No, because he doesn't have an outline. I have a Google doc. He does have an outline. I do. Hank, yeah, I'm disappointed. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed.

Well, I did have the chance. I could have billied it and just thrown something together. I had about 20 minutes, and I could have thrown something together and done a half-ass effort. But I have this long… I have links. I have work cited.

Who farted?

I think that was my shoe.

I think Hank just farted.

No, that was my shoe.

Did you hear that, Jake?

I did not, but I know we're clear because our mics were off. It feels good.

Yeah. That was a fart. That was a fart. That was a nervous fart.

It was a.

Nervous fart. Now, Hank, did you do this outline or did you outsource it to somebody else like you did with the original presentation?

I have collaborators, esteemed colleagues that I work with just like any good education.

Oh, also.

Having a point.

Of order in your Twitter bio right now. What does it say? Because part of the agreement was you were going to change it to acknowledge the Cape Hatterous Lighthouse.

I did.

No, you didn't. You put Haterass.

The Cape Hatterous Lighthouse is the tallest lighthouse in the.

Continental US. You spelled it Haterass. You are a Haterass.

How do you.

Spell Haterass? There's just one S.

No, keep it out.

It's funny because people thought Hank did that on purpose, but he definitely did not. No, 100% did. He thought Objyn was a word like two years ago.

I mean, again, why would you... I'm not a female. I've never gone to the fucking OB-GYN. How is that something I would know about?

Have you ever seen a vagina?

Yeah.

Okay, well, you obviously don't know much about them.

But at what point in your life did you learn that OB/GYN was OB/GYN?

It was like 10.

Or 11.

Why?

Because you just know things. You grow up and you learn things.

When would you have learned that? At one point were.

They like, hey- You talk to a girl and she's like, Oh, I have to go to my OB/GYN appointment.

My.

Option. A 10-year-old? No, not when I'm 10. That's what.

You said. You just said that. You said I learned when I was 10.

Because you.

Hear words. Sorry, I got down early.

That's disgusting. Put it on the bonk list. That's gross.

Yeah. Again, I don't know, you got down then she was like, I have to go to the.

Doctor now. No, obviously, I heard that word when I was 10, and I found out.

A few years later. Where did you hear it? Why would you hear that?

I don't know because.

Life happens. I'm going to step in here that's early to learn that word.

You learn life happens.

Well, I'm learning new things every day and the listeners and you guys will learn a lot on Friday.

Okay, Friday. You're going to have it.

I'm going to get it on Friday. I found my laptop. It was in a desk that I walked by maybe a hundred times.

Good. Hot start. Hot start. All right.

Then my cool throne is the Cubs.

Yeah, that was my cool throne. But go ahead.

Well, I did it first. Yeah. A lot of manager, musical chairs going on. I don't really know what's going on. I don't know why Craig Counsel is the greatest manager of all time. But the Metz fans were really upset that they didn't sign Craig Counsel. Then the Cubs did sign Craig Council, which caused the brewers to basically disown him.

Oh.

Yeah, the brewers owner.

Was on a real hissy fit.

We've lost Craig, but I've reflected on this. Craig has lost us and lost our community.

He lost the community.

What makes Craig Council this Messiah of a manager?

Craig Council is a good manager. He's a very good manager. The brewers don't spend a lot of money, and he's had them competitive every single year. I'm very excited because I'm sad about David Ross. It feels very reminiscent of when Ricky Renneria got fired for Joe Madden right when the Cubs were like, All right, we're going to start winning. Okay. I love David Ross, and it sucked because obviously, he probably found out a different way. But I don't think I've ever seen an announcement of a hiring of a manager when you never got the announcement of a firing of a manager. It was literally Jeff Pass and was like, Craig, Council is going to the Cubs, and then didn't say David Ross is fired. I had to wait till for an hour and Dan Dokitz reported breaking news. I'm hearing David Ross is out. My ass. Yeah. It was a very confusing moment. That's weird. -yeah, it was stunning because I don't think... I know David Ross was on a warm seat with how the Cubs finished.

Well, they said earlier this season that he was not going to be fired, right? Right. That was before the collapse.

But here's why I like it. So Craig Council is a very good manager. I also think this is the sign that the Cubs are ready to start spending and start competing for World Series again because you're not Craig Council. If you're Craig Council, you don't go to the Cubs, you're rival. Craig Council is from Wisconsin. You don't go there unless you have a deal in place from Jed and Tom Rickets being like, Hey, we're going for this. This is the start. They're also paying him $8 million a year, which is a lot of money. I think it might be the highest paid manager. This is good. I feel good. I'm excited. I'm sad for David Ross, but I'm very excited about the future of the Cubs because it does feel like the sign of, Hey, we're now going to take this seriously. No more half-ass rebuilding. Let's go spend some money. Let's get some really good players. Craig Council is a very good manager. I'm excited. Cubs are back.

Is that basically that's the end of the World Series team?

We have a couple left. Is Hendrix still on the team? Hendrix is on the team.

That's always sad when it's like the whole team is gone.

Iain Happy, I believe, was, It don't know if he played, he was in the organization. Yeah, I know it's sad, but Hendrix, I love Hendrix, the professor. The professor. Yeah, Hap made his debut the year after. So yeah, it's sad. But yeah, Greg, counsel and the Cubs are going to spend money big time. It's going to be exciting.

I want to touch on something we mentioned on Monday show because we were a week early on Wisconsin deer season in terms of hunting. I found out an interesting fact today. Did you know that Wisconsin has so many hunters and so many guns that the state of Wisconsin is the eighth largest army in the world technically? I respect that. I respect that. I respect that a lot.

Also, the deer is like people who are anti hunter. If you drive in.

Rural.

Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and you said, Hey, no one can kill a deer, the deer would kill all of us on the highway. There's so many.

Fucking deer. Yeah, and I love it when cars just drive down the road with deer just strapped to.

The home. Oh, yeah. It's good food. Yeah, next weekend or this weekend?

This weekend, yeah. No, next weekend. Wait, I got to pull it up right here.

It is.

Next weekend.

Next weekend. -next weekend. -next weekend because I have friends who are.

Doing it. Well, if you're disabled, you're allowed to hunt early. There you go. And kids. And kids. Kids can.

Hunt early. I think you only get one.

Is that.

The rule? You just get one deer per season? Yeah, there's a tag. Yeah, there's like... It might be more than one, but they definitely... You can't just go out and just start killing 150 deer.

What if they just made it? You can kill a deer any day of the year if you use your bare hands.

I like that. I like that a lot. Let's choke it out. I like that a lot.

My hot seat was Tom Izzow. Yeah. Tom Izzow is on the hot seat, as we discussed earlier. My cool throne is Orcas. And Orcas are also back. There's a new pod of Orcas that are attacking off the, I guess it's the Strait of Gibraltar, so in between Spain and Morocco. A new pod of Orcas spent eight hours going after this yacht and sunk the yacht themselves just straight-up attacked it.

Yeah. Are you a whale guy? No, not Orcas, so I don't.

Like Orcas. Well, yeah, we know your stance on Jimerseys.

Orcas are a killer. It's not their fault. Telecom fucked up the whole squad. But Orcas are bad.

What about Toketag?

You.

Were heartbroken when Toketay died.

Was Toketag the one? Yeah. Well, there I'm sad that a human got involved and basically stressed about death.

But actually- But it was Orca, so it really.

Gets a fuck. Yeah, you actually, Toketag dying might have saved some lives because he would have gone out into the water and just started.

Killing people. That's true. Yeah. But respect to these orcas that are over in Europe just taking out yachts. I think it was a Polish cruise that it took out. They repeatedly hit the yacht's rudder, causing major damage.

Any deaths?

No, they got all the people off right before it sank. But it's pretty good. Listen, I don't want to fuck with the orcas. I want the orcus to know because they probably do listen to podcasts that I am on their side and I am a friend of.

The whale. This feels like a Polish joke. Polish Navy got taken down by.

An orca. By an orca. The Screendoor Submarines? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

You think- What? I am obsessed with the whales. I think about them often. What about a show? If you could translate, because whales speak to each other. Yeah. Like a reality show.

Oh, like.

Real Housewives of the Mediterranean?

Of the Street of Gibraltar.

Yeah. It's like that Prairie Dog show or whatever the one in Africa is.

Yeah, like I can imagine seeing them plan that and then take it down.

It'd be sick. Yeah. It would be sick.

Let's do it. Something to think about. Don't steal my idea.

How would you translate what they say? Would you just completely.

Make it up? I'm just going to say right now I want it on record. I'm not going to steal this idea of making a real Housewives of Orcus.

Of the Strait of Gibraltar.

No, I'm not going to give you the Strait of Gibraltar. I might make another reality show off the Strait of Gibraltar.

That's the technology. I don't know if there is a whale translator out there. There's not. Someone that speaks flu and whale.

Conor Stallions probably could.

Yeah, give him enough time.

But you could probably put it together with Subpettles. I mean.

He did. Stop myself from making a joke. Conor Stallions did steal signs from Brett Bielow.

Yeah. What does he have in common with the wheel?

When we were in Wisconsin, when we were in Madison for Ohio State, they have a tunnel with all the former coaches. Brett looked good back in the day. Yeah. He looked good. He's actually, I think, he's a little weight.

He's still a powerful man. Yeah. Hank, I do like your idea, though, but you could just do it and fake it and just pretend that you know what they're saying.

Yeah. Yeah.

Let's go sing to the boat. I fucking like the Polish.

All right, that.

Was your cool throne. That was my cool throne because again, Tom Izzow is on the hot seat. And also cool throne, letter writing. J. M. You. Also wrote a strongly worded letter.

To the-I've done notes out.

This is like the fifth strongly worded letter that I've seen float around out there. This is going to be the one that gets it done, though, because it's more strongly worded than the ones in the past. They're on a letter writing hot streak down there, the Ted Kansanskys of Central Virginia.

Yes. Okay, my hot seat is me for two things. One, I'd like to make a correction on Monday. I said, Jedrick Wills is a star offensive lineman. That is my fault because he was drafted in the top 10, and that's hard to get out of my head. So my bad. You're still a star. You're still a star. And also his name is cool. I was just like, Yeah. He's a lottery pick. Guess what? Depth is used now. So he could have been a star depthwise. And then my other hot seat for myself is my parenting. Quick, story time. On Monday mornings, I take my son to school every day. And on Monday mornings, we have a conversation of whether or not the Bear's won or lost. I was getting sick of telling him, every Monday we get in the car, he's like, Did the Bear's win or lose? I got sick of telling him that they lost. On Monday morning, I explained to him that they lost, but they actually won because they're trying to lose. Because he gets really excited because his teacher is a Bear's fan. He goes and tells his teacher the two times they've won, he's been able to go tell him the Bear's team won.

Flash forward Monday night, I'm putting him to bed and I was like, What did you learn at school today? He was like, The Bear's team lost, but that's actually good. I am now raising a loser.

-it's good parenting.

The fact that he was able to conceptualize tanking that quickly is not good for the future of our relationship in his sports bandom. But he got it. He got it right away. It was 12 hours later, and he was like, The bear's lost.

But it's good. He's going to watch Trent Dielfer explain how you cannot lose and still win and be very confused. He'd be like, That guy's.

Full of shit. I realized it last night. I was like, God damn it, I'm raising a loser. Yeah. We've accepted losing in this household. We're okay with losing.

He's going to learn about the Revolutionary War and be like, Well, at least England got a good draft pick. Yeah, fuck.

What was the tank guy? What was your process guy? What was his name? Meme didn't want to click the.

Fucking button there.

Oh, he doesn't know it either. No, he did. He just called you up as Sam Hinkie. Sam Hinkie. I was thinking Sam Presty, but that's Oklahoma City. Yeah, I'm raising a little Sam Hinkie in my house. So, hot seat me, I got to reevaluate that. That. The Cubs are back.

That's great. Sam Hinkie drafted an MVP.

Also true. True. Did he draft a player of the week? That might have been after. Tires Maxey was probably drafted after. He got the picks to get Tires Maxey. He's just fucking with me now.

But also, Jason Tane, one conference player of the week last week. Oh, no longer. Max, congrats on the third quarter of the week by Joel and B last night. Yeah. That was an insane quarter. That was maybe the quarter of the month. I'm backing on.

The Sixers. Nick Nurse is a guy.

Oh, okay. He is a guy. This will end well. No, Sixers are good. Clip that meme. That will be a nice start to the montage when the Sixers lose to the Celtics in the playoffs.

I do agree, though, that, Max, we should give you some credit here because you do have the same guys as last year, essentially, but you upgraded majorly at the head coach. Like a huge upgrade.

And in the locker room.

You lost hard and brought in Pat Beth.

Yeah.

That's a locker room upgrade for sure. By the way, speaking of losing all-time insult stat, everyone should be following Jay Cuda online, J-A-Y-C-U-D-A. He's very funny. He does great graphics. He did a graphic, The Cities with four plus sports teams, and it's their combined overall against 500 since the start of 2022. There are only two cities that are all red, which means under 500 collectively, and it is Chicago and Washington, D.

C. Yeah, good for us.

You can't laugh at that. You can't laugh at that. That's our joke. Don't laugh at that. My teams are above 500.

Yeah, flyers. We know that flyers. That's why you're not allowed to laugh.

At it, Max. I don't give a fuck about the flyers. The only city with all four teams above 500?

Colorado. Nope.

Texas. Minnesota. Wow. That's a huge cover. That's a huge cover. All above 500. Yeah. You okay? What was that?

I thought Colorado was a good guess.

Colorado. Did you forget about the Broncos?

-they don't have a four.

-you forget about the Broncos? -yeah. -the Rockies. And you forgot about the Rockies. You forget.

About half of them. Very bad.

That was a guess. The Rockies was a hope. Half of them. My cool throne is Coffee drinkers because we got new Stella Blue flavors out now. We had some fall flavors. Now we have some Christmas holiday flavors. We have gingerbread and we have Buttercookie. Both very good. I tested all of them, finetuned it. Go buy at sellbleucoffee. Com. They are delicious. There's nothing better than a nice warm cup of buttercuki sitting by the fire, sitting by the tree, sitting by wherever, maybe outdoors, crackling fire, some gingerbread. So go buy it right now. They are very, very good. And some new mugs in the store as well. Jake, finish us off.

My hot.

Seat is Jimmy Klaesson, former quarterback. Yeah. Cam Newton came out with a story saying that he initially wanted to wear number two, that was his college number, so he asked Jimmy Klaesson for it. Jimmy Klaesson said, All right, that'll cost you $1 million. Thought he was kidding. Klaesson said, All right, I'll do it for a lower tag of $750,000. Cam Newton hangs up the phone, calls the equipment manager, says he's going to wear number one. He told himself that would be the last time Jimmy Klaesson will ever be heard of in Carolina.

He was correct.

I respect that move by Jimmy Klaesson because he knew that he was bad and he was going to lose his job. Jimmy Klaesson, I don't know what his career earnings are. I'm looking them up right now. He's made $5 million in the NFL. Could have been $6 if he got that deal done. That would have been... He needed that extra million dollars.

That's just an insane ask. I think that if you say 50k, Cam Newton probably pays it.

Yeah.

Oh, for sure. He'll give you a discount of 750k.

Because what was Cam Newton's signing bonus?

It's big, but yeah, insane. Jimmy Klaesson definitely didn't play that correctly. Insane. My cool throne, plug God to Barclay sports invitation. It is game day if you're listening on Wednesday. Huge double header on Barclay. Tv. Returning final four team FAU. H hometown team, Loyola Chicago, and a power conference matchup two tournament teams from last year. Arizona State, Mississippi State, Big Cat and I will be in the booth with Dave Portnoid. We have tons of great coverage coming your way.

Sister Jean?

Sister Jean. Sister Jean will be in attendance.

I might be in Sister Jean's box.

Yeah, you should.

Yeah.

I'm going to try to get her box.

You should watch the game with Sister Jean. Yeah, I would love to. You can get you a mic and get a one-on-one. Yeah, if you're in Chicago, WinTrust, there's still tickets available. It's going to be a great time. Everyone's going to be out there. If you are not in Chicago, Barstool. Tv, you can watch all the action. Nothing better than a little college basketball on a Wednesday night. Also, not my words from Ken Paum, the two best games of college basketball are the Barstool sports invitational today. Fuck yes. He ranks the thrill score, how exciting each game is. Number one and number two are our games.

For some reason, I'm just really into this college basketball here. Yeah, I wonder why. So far, one day in, I've never been this excited.

We had the Loyola guys here on Monday and the big guy, the two guards and a big guy, Tom Welch. I'm going to need your notes, by the way, Jake, in the next couple of days or actually now. Finishing them. The guards were like, Hey, you want to dunk? And he's like, I don't think I can. I was like, Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you that our rims are 11 feet tall.

Yeah, thanks a lot, Hank.

Yeah, they're a solid 10-4.

Pretty close. I think it's 10-6. Pete said.

He checked yesterday they're 10-1.

No way. The player's noticed right away.

They noticed right away.

Do you trust Pete? I'm just saying. Think about that. He didn't have WiFi working in an office that runs the Internet for about six years. He was.

Big fired up yesterday.

What he.

Brought out was this little, I don't even know what it was. It was like a laser.

He was like, That's the top of the rim.

You're seeing it. It says 10-1.

Yeah, he's a liar. I don't trust him. He's a liar. Got a measure from the base all the way down at the base.

Yes. And guys, my other cool throw. Oh, two. Yes. All right, let's go, Jake. -double trouble. Double trouble. It is drama. Uh-oh. Drama in the N-W-S-L. Guys, this season has been so dramatic that even Nike submitted this season for a Golden Globe.

Okay, so-Wait, what? My only thing about the N-W-S-L, if Rose Lavel has a million fans- Badger. -then I'm one of them.

Badger.

If she has no fans, then I am dead. If the world is against Rose Lavel, then it's me against the world. She's our queen.

She's on.

The OL Reign, right?

She's our recurring guest, Badger, best player in the world. Yes. The championship game is on CBS this Saturday at 8:00 PM Eastern time. Let's go. Okay.

Megan Ropinoe, Swansong.

And she's on Roosevelt's team. Let's go.

How can you not be rooting for them?

Rose.

Labelle.

Dominant. What time is it? 8:00 PM Eastern on CBS. Saturday.

Saturday. Love it. There's so much drama. It's a Golden Globe.

Nike is putting it up for a.

Golden Globe. They should win. They should win. Agreed. Okay, good job, Jake. Double trouble on the cool throwings. I like that. Let's get to our interview. Great interview with very, very funny comedian Nate Bargatsy.

Yeah, before we get to Nate, he's brought to you by Body Armor. These interviews are always fueled by Body Armor. Body Armory helps us stay hydrated throughout our interviews with the biggest guests in the world. I've got some right here. I'm drinking the Orange mango. Elite flavor. It's packed with electrolytes, no artificial sweeteners, no flavors, no artificial flavors, no artificial dyes. Body Armory hydrates the best athletes in the world. More importantly, it hydrates us during interviews. Buy Body Armory today. Visit the Body Armor Amazon store or retailers nationwide. Available in stores nationwide. Head on over to Body Armory Store on Amazon. Get yours today. I do highly recommend the Orange mango. It's superior hydration. It keeps us hydrated during these interviews, and Nate Bargatsy is a great interview. Thanks, Nate, for coming in. Thanks to Body Armor.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. You see him everywhere now. His comedian Nate Bargatsy. I screw up your name because I saw you did Valen, maybe? Yeah. You went to a whole thing where everyone says Bargatsy, and then it's Bargatsy?

Bargatsy. Bargatsy. Sorry about that.

Yeah.

Well. It was one of those things that I literally woke up.

It's a great day to start the day, dude.

I woke up and I was like, Don't say it wrong. Don't say it wrong. Don't say it wrong. Then when you sit down and you keep telling yourself that, you're like, I'm going to fucking say it wrong. I know I am.

Everybody, I really don't care. It's been said so many different ways you just go, All right.

Well, it's an A, too, that screws everyone up.

There's some stuff in there that messes.

People up. Italian, Paisan?

Yeah, it's Italian.

Yeah, you got a couple. There's like a couple of speed bumps in there. They're like, Oh, how am I saying this? Yeah, it's tough. But yeah, you've been everywhere. It's incredible watching the last even three weeks. You did SNL a couple of weeks ago. You did College Game Day. Now you're doing PMT. Some say that's the big three.

I mean, you all are enormous. I know coming on here, I was like, It's going to get where people are like, All right, dude. Yeah, I know.

Are people sick of you?

I mean, probably. I'm not trying to make it that way. No, I don't. But it all just snowballed into... These are all things besides you guys. It was the SNL and Game Day all happened very quickly last minute. It just went with it.

It must be very cool because we're about the same age and I grew up watching SNL, and it's iconic, obviously. You saw the Greek cast back. I think the '80s and the '90s to mid-'90s of SNL, that was the peak of the show, in my opinion. Oh, yeah. Just iconic stuff, and then you get to host. What was the process like during the week? Were you involved with the writing? How detailed did they let you get behind the scenes? Or were they like, Hey, here's the idea we have for a script. Here's your role.

Yeah, you show up Monday. Show up Monday, and then five o'clock you go in, and then that's where you meet Lauren, you meet all the writers and all the cast, and everybody just pitches. They're just a real two. They would be like Washington doing the milliliters and our measurements and just something quickly. Then you go, Okay, you're just hearing stuff. Then the next day, it's a little bit tighter and you go sit with the writers. You're there, you're more like noon to 10:00 or 8:00 or 7:00 or 9:00, something like that, on Tuesday, and then you meet with each writer, and then they go like, All right, we're going down this path with this script. They really make it around the host. The host, you have a lot more say than you think as a host. That was something some people told me. I mean, as much as I still, you're like, I'm pretty lucky that they're having me on. I'm not trying to be like, Well, you're going to do this. But you do have a lot of say to go, I don't want to do political. I'm clean, so it's like I don't want to do dirty stuff.

When I said that they're just doing pitching pretty dumb, silly sketches that we ended up having. Everybody pitches a little bit more because they got to sit up and write all night. Tuesday night, you go home and then they stay up. They might be there until 6:00 in the morning.

Yeah. I had a question about the clean stuff because I saw your show on Friday night. Absolutely incredible. If you're thinking about going to a comedy show and Nate is in your city, you have to go. It is that good. I brought my wife and a couple of friends, and they had never seen you before. The best way I described it, I was like, He does comedy on expert mode because he doesn't swear and it's not like the raunchy stuff, but it's funnier than everyone else who does that. No, thank you. But it really does feel that way because us being idiots, when we run out of words, we just say, Fuck. It's a nice crush. It's like, Oh, I'll just make a dick joke. So was there ever a point in your career where you were like, people tried to push you one way? You're like, No, I'm going to be me and I'm going to do it my way. Because you don't see very often. And again, you are funnier than pretty much everyone else out there.

Well, thank you. I'm not from the south. You know, my dad's here. You met my dad. I just never wanted them to be embarrassed to come to show or something. You didn't curse. You went to church. You did. It was just the environment I was born in. I mean, when I moved to New York and people curse more, and then I'd go around my friend's parents, you're like, Yeah, well, there's families in New York or somewhere where you're like, People just curse. It doesn't stand out where it would have really stood out in my upbringing. Right. I just kept that. When I first started, you would have to do late. I would go on at midnight, 1:00 in the morning at these shows. Some of them would be uncensored show and they're labeled all this stuff and I would just do my act. I would just do it. I think you just do it and just hope no one noticed. That was the main thing. You just...

I don't think there's anybody that's in the crowd that's like, I really wish you'd say fuck, man. You were so funny, but if you had talked about taking a shit, that would have been awesome.

People stand up, Yeah, this is too clean. I'm not out of here. I'm watching a guy will leave.

That's the testament to how funny you are is that you don't even notice it because you're just finding funny angles on everything. You're like, Man, I wish I could be smarter like Nate and find a way to speak without swearing every other word.

You know... Some comics, what I say, do as like, you got to fix it off-screen if you have someone ever... Because no matter what, even if you're a comedian, you're on stage presenting an act, it's probably better not to do overly do it. You can do it, but don't overly do it. You got to just not do it in real life.

Did that open any doors for you?

I mean, it is now completely. I thought it would quicker earlier, and it didn't. It's been a slow going. It's always moved forward. I could do late night sets. I did a lot more late night sets than most people. I could be asked to do a late night set last minute because they just knew I didn't have anything. I don't ever have to worry about. When I did a Conversential Special where you couldn't say stuff, the only thing they would be is that you can't say Walmart, you can't say McDonalds or or something like that. That would be the only thing I couldn't say.

I like the idea of your big controversy being that someone caught you saying the F-word, being.

Like, Oh, my God. It'd be a huge disappointment. Like a sex statement.

Oh, no. Everything is a lie.

Yeah, they go, This guy.

Did you ever have a moment of weakness? You're like, You know what? Tonight I'm going to go blue.

I never had the jokes. Any sex stuff I never had. Since I started that way, my brain just never really went that way. Everybody I'm friends with, my closest friends are Big Jay, Okerson, and Louis, and Jay Okerson and Louis, Jay Gomez, and a lot of people from this comedy world. Most of my friends are some of the dirtiest comics you could ever see, but they're all very funny. I was blended in. When I first got at the comedy club in New York, since I was a comedy club in New York. Since I was closed with Big Jay, I first got into that club, they would always put me on real late at night. I can tell that they have not watched my set. They just assume I'm with Jay, they assume I'm dirty. Then they would throw me up at 2:00 in the morning. It's like I would be better at 8:00 PM than 2:00. But it helped me because then you got to make your act work at 2:00 in the morning. You got to somehow make it seem like it's, I don't know, not only say bite to it, but whatever. They just can't be.

Too noticeably.

Yeah, you talked about your dad, and he is here. He just came in as... I'll show you a second ago. I saw a clip where he started a fire in your house while you were gone.

Not at my house, in their house. In their house. They're now in our house.

How did that go?

He was cooking and brought worse. I was trying to tell the story. I don't know if I want to say this story. I was saying about him setting on fire, but I think I got another thing. But he cooked a brought worse. The idea, it's a very old man thing to cook. It feels like, I don't know. Yeah, a.

Brought worse, when you cook a broad, when you actively are saying, I'm going to make a brought, you're like, I'm just going to poison myself for dinner. That's fine. I don't really have anything to live for right now.

Yeah, you can like brought. You can like them and eat them at places, but to cook one alone.

To actively go out and get one. If you're handed one at a tailgate, that's normal.

I would even say just the act of grilling one brought worst is a very.

Sad thing. It feels like a death row meal.

Yeah.

He left the stove on and then it just started smoking, caught fire, and now they're going to get a new stove. Everybody was fine, but now they're staying with us.

Yeah, your dad is very funny. I think you told me on Friday night that he's done 90 of your shows.

90 of them.

Which is so cool. The fact that your dad, who was a magician when you were growing up, which I'm sure that would probably give a lot of your material, like how you became a funny person. I'm always interested in how comedians become comedians. Having a dad as a magician, I would imagine, had a lot of help in growing you as.

A person and material. I don't know if I realized it at the moment, but it was... Yeah, it does it because he's always done comedy with his magic, so it's always been funny. That stuff has just played into it completely. It did more than I realized. As I got older in comedy, I could tell, I think my timing is a lot based off him and all the little stuff you can see that I picked up just throughout.

The years. Yeah. Was it cool having a dad who's a magician as a kid? Or was there a place where it was cool, then it became not cool, then it became cool again to have him?

Yeah, probably like that. I was just always around it. I look at it like my daughter. My daughter does not know a world that I'm not a comedian. I don't know a world where my dad's not a magician. I mean, your kids.

Would not know. Yeah, no, my three kids, I'm worried for the day when they're like, Wait, what did you say online for the last 15 years? Yeah.

Well, they're just going to... I think it's normal. Howard Stern's kids were... I think they just know it and they can separate it. You're not always maybe as impressed at the beginning versus now. And it's fun to be able to take him out now because we've always known how great he is. And so now a lot of people are getting to see how fun of a show it is. And I'm now of a lot of people that are like, they... I mean, when my dad comes out, they love it so much that they're not expecting it. Because I think they're like, All right, we got to watch this guy's dad. You don't expect it to be... You'll just figure like, All right, I'm doing this guy a favor watching his dad. But then when people are losing it and they're laughing, they're like, Oh, man, it was so fun.

Yeah.

That's very cool. I had a question about your process as a community. I understand you'll work on material, go up, but when you come up with an idea, like for example, you did this in your SNL monolog. You also have in your set. I'm not going to burn your set, but just the idea of calling yourself from the 1900s. Did that just pop in your head? Because it's something that we're both born in the '80s or from the 1900s. But when you say it's like, God damn it, that is so funny, and I never even thought of just framing it that way. Yeah.

For some reason, I startedthinking of old timey when I started thinking of old timely when I started thinking of this hour. And this is the first time I thought of it like that. But I was thinking of old timey and how we're in such a futuristic world versus what we grew up with. I had that donkey, which I told on SNL, the donkey story at the fair. I had this old thing. I was trying to be like, We're a mix of people that have seen this world that's from the '50s to now your watch sends you a message and you can call on your watch. There's still a lot of us that have to balance both these worlds where we're not going to learn stuff. I was saying it, and just probably a month before SNL, I stumbled on to say I'm from the 1900s. Because when you start the set, I didn't know. I was like, Well, what's the shortest, quickest way to put you in the mindset of what I'm trying to say? Right. And so you just stumble on it and then you're like, I'm from the 1900s. And you go, Okay, that sets it up.

A lot of it is you could have a lot of funny jokes, but if I don't give any context or put you in that, it's like, What's the quickest way I can set you into that mindset?

Yeah, get everyone ready and where they're going to be. It was very relatable, like I said, we're both 38 years old, so a lot of the stuff that you talk about, it's like, Yeah, this is crazy. I'm giving up with new technology. I've tried five times to be a TikToker, and it's failed every time. I just can't.

Do it. With AI, everybody, even the people that are making AI are giving testimony in front of Congress being like, Be very careful. We might screw this up badly. It seems like everything they're coming up with, we all agree like, Hey, please don't do this. But they're like, Just so you know, it's coming. It's going to suck, but it's coming. It's like.

Please stop. Yeah, it's funny because they say like it is. They're like, Well, it's coming. You're like, Yeah, are you all not in charge of the reason it's coming?

Because their whole mindset.

Wouldn't stop me. If I don't do it, somebody else is going to do it. Well, no, you just.

Stop doing it. Yeah, let's take a break.

Take a quick break. Let's reassess. Maybe this isn't the best.

Thing ever. Well, I was like, because a thing I was trying to add to it, and I'm still messing with. But there's people being born now that are going to live in the 3,000. Right. You're like, Well, what is that?

Right.

That's crazy.

Wait. No, they aren't.

They're going to live in the 20- 2023? If they were 100, it'd be-2,100.

They're not a lot.

They're living in 2,100. Dude, you know it's so funny? I'm so dumb.

Well, we're dumb.

That actually would be a great TikTok.

Yeah, yeah. I said that on stage. I've been saying that the past two nights. In my head, I was like, This ain't getting what I thought it should be getting.

You know what it is, though? Because we're of a certain age where we saw the change from the 2000. We're like, Holy fuck. We feel like we're in a... Yeah, no, my kids will live to like 2100.

Yeah, that's not as fun as 3000. I think.

You should keep.

Doing the 3,000.

Because you took me for a second. I was like, Damn, you're right.

Modern medicine? You never know.

You never know. That's right. You were very nice. You helped me. You go, Just keep bouncing around, dude.

I like that you did this, though, because a lot of your set is self-deprecation about not being the smartest person. That was very authentic. You're not.

Putting on.

Neither are we. Because you had me for a second. I was like, Yeah, 3,000. That's crazy.

That is crazy. That would be crazy. I said that on stage and in my head, it works just like it was here. And it's front of 4,000 people. I'm like, Right, everybody? And I'm like, Man, this thing, I didn't get what I think I should be getting out of this. I thought that.

Last night. They're going to become like avatars. They're going to exist online like The Matrix. And then they might live in 3,000. We don't know that. We don't know. You said it with confidence. I was like, Yeah, wait. But wait, no, I'm dumb. So then you start to doubt yourself. When it comes to your writing process, are you hypercritical? Do you micromanage yourself? Do you go back and watch specials and watch anything that you tape and say, Okay, that joke didn't get as big a pop as this one, need to retool that one? Or is it mostly about what you remember in the flow of your shows in terms of like, Okay, I'm going to keep this part and maybe add something new?

It's the flow. You figured out. I started in Chicago. I lived here for two years. Then New York was where I really... It was eight and a half years there. We would all write on stage and you do it. It's filling the audience. I do it like that. I don't really watch the old sets. I should watch more. I never really did that. But you just go in the moment. You just feel it and you go like, All right, this is not... I didn't really feel like that got what I thought it should have got. So I either need to present it. This morning we were riding over and I was talking about... Because a lot of new stuff I have in the front of my hour now. And so I was trying to be like, Well, I got to reword this. I was like, I think I got to get into this quicker. Sometimes you can think you need something, this long thing, and then it's to set up something, and you're like, I just need to get into it. The setup is too long and it doesn't really matter, and you can feel it.

And I can feel it because when the jokes are tight and they're ready to go, you just start hitting at it. The crowd's just a lot better. I have a joke about community college, and that one I've been doing. I do 10 minutes up top that's still messing around. And then it's like, I get in this community college that I know no one knows, and it just starts hitting. Because that thing, asS&L is every lot of people, especially at this crowd, have seen that SNL monolog. That's all my new hour. When I do those jokes, especially this weekend, it's felt like everybody's like, Yeah, we know this joke. We've heard it. Because they've just watched it.

Were you worried about that, burning it?

I was, but SNL, I understood the opportunity I was getting that it's like, You can't. I don't have the clout to go like, I'll just mess around. I knew an audience of SNL versus the people, even though we're selling, I'm doing arena. You're doing all these big things, but there's a mainstreamness to SNL. Yeah. There was a lot of people that are going to see that that don't know who I am. You got to go back to prove like, All right, I got to really prove that I, to these people that I'm worth their 10 minutes to watch this monolog or whatever it is.

Yeah, I also think it was a great appetizer. I am a believer too. Like a funny comedy special I'll rewatch. I don't care. It's funny as funny.

Yeah. I'm going to have to just keep doing it. It'll be interesting to see in two months what the crowd feels like if they've like, I can be back doing these jokes. I'll change up a little bit. There'll be inklings of it. I bet some stuff gets a little dropped here and there. But overall, you're like, Yeah, this is part of my hour. You're showing a glimpse of your hour and then being like, All right, here's this hour. Then it goes back into my act. But it was very interesting this weekend.

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So everyone should listen to, Nate has a podcast called The NateLand Podcast. I was listening to it, and I got a bone to pick with you because you were talking about some of the stuff that didn't make it to SNL. You were talking about a skit based around people who don't put cases on their phones. I really needed to see that because I've been, for 10 years now, a no-case guy, and I've stood on the table for it. Now I have money, so people are like, Oh, you'll just go get a new one. But I wrote a blog literally 11 years ago when I had no money being the biggest thrill in life is having no case. When you drop it being like, Oh, that's probably going to be bad. It's the best. It's the best feeling in the world. It's one of life's greatest small thrills that you can have where every time I'm holding my phone, it's life or death.

Now, this is the first time I've ever done no case. Yeah, go no case. Yeah, I am. It's the first time I've.

Done it.

Does it feel good? Yeah. It just looks very nice.

It's smaller. It was meant to be held like Steve Jobs made it.

Isn't that what Apple Care is for? Right. I have.

Apple Care. Right, I do, too.

I thought that's what it was for.

Sometimes though, they really get you because I've broken my phone before, and I'm like, But I have Apple Care. They're like, Yeah, but you did such a number on it.

You really.

Broke.

It. Because I'll just drop it getting out of my car onit onto cement and it will just be such a shatter job. But again, it's thrilling. I've saved it, kicking it before. Kicking it to myself. Those are moments that I'll just cherish forever.

Yeah, the idea that I thought of that, because you can tell them sketch ideas, too. They wrote that one out and it just wasn't... Because sometimes the sketch could be... It's like the jet joke is funny, but I don't know if it can stand on the tone, the whole sketch. But they did like it, and they wrote it out. But yeah, because I just thought of it because I was like, I don't have one. Then people really get upset. Yeah, they do. I think they root for you.

Yeah.

Absolutely. They want you to drop your phone. They want to see it.

They want to see you.

In pain. It does look elegant. The phone looks, it's sleek with no case of a phone. It is a beautiful phone. I mean, if you see somebody that has a perfectly clean screen with no cracks, you're like, That person is not any fun. If a girl has a cracked iPhone, you're like, She's trouble.

But I.

Like.

That. You see people have phones where you're like, What were you doing? What is your life?

They're like cutting their finger while they're.

Trying to use it. They won't stop using it.

They won't go, Yeah, you're like, Can you not change it out?

You're scrolling.

On Instagram. I respect those people. They live life on the edges.

Yeah, they don't. People that don't take their phone is serious, which is a good thing.

Right.

Exactly. There's another clean comedian out there. You probably are aware of him. He's a little niche, but Dan Nainan. Do you know Dan? The clean comedian that lies about his age?

Have you heard the story of this guy? I don't know.

He is one of my favorite people online. He's been saying that he's 28 years old for the lastI don't know, 15 years, and he's very clearly 55. And he won't admit that he's not in his 20s anymore. He's got a psychological block.

Against him. Yeah. How do you spell his last name?

I think it's N-A-I-N-N-Nainan.

Dan Nainan. Yeah, I think I know who that is.

That guy is my favorite person.

Because I honestly think that guy was with, I remember him when I started. Yeah.

He was 28 then.

Maybe he was 28 then. I think I remember him when I started. I don't want to say positively, but I feel pretty confident. I remember him, and this is back in message board days and all this, but I remember him being there. I've done it for 20 years. I think I remember that name.

Twenty years is crazy to be doing it that long. So he was eight. Yeah, he.

Was eight when he started. Yeah. Wow.

He was a prodigy. He was a joke about driving. He was a prodigy.

Yeah. He's before Pete Davidson. I remember Pete coming and Pete was 14 or 55 when we first started seeing Pete come around. But this guy was-Yeah.

When did you start doing comedy? When did you have enough material where you could actually get on stage and be able to relate to somebody with the jokes?

Well, it was 2003. I moved here. I took a comedy class here. Jim Roth, he does a comedy college. I wouldn't say you needed a class for... But I just didn't. You don't know what to do. It's very intimidating to start comedy. You don't know. You just want to be around people that are also starting, and so you at least feel like you can make a friend and all this. I started here, and then you just start doing... Doing five minutes was like a law. It's hard to do five minutes. Then I went to New York, and then you're going up every night and you're doing five minutes, seven minutes, and then you just slowly, just over time, get going. It wasn't until my first TV thing was like 2008, I think, seven, eight.

Was it Second City that you started?

I took a little class at Second City, but this one was just stand-up. But I took about an eight-week course at Second City. The thing I didn't like about improv is I knew I wanted to be clean, and with improv, you got to go with the group. I knew it's like, Well, you're going to go down. I didn't like that I wasn't in control of where it.

Was going. When they hand you an invisible dildo, you can't.

Be like, Whoa. You're like.

Hello, banana. I signed up for an improv class in Second City after I started at Barstool because I was like, I'm going to try to get fun here. I went to one class. I paid like 500 bucks and it was all kids in their early 20s. They had a bathroom break in an hour in and I just left and never came back because I was like, I can't do this. I'mthat this isn't for me. I'm just going to keep writing blogs and hope it works out.

Well, it's like anything. Just do what you know how to do, and you will learn within that thing how to do all the other stuff.

Was there a moment in those 20 years where you thought it wasn't going to happen? Because it is. I mean, you've arrived a long time ago. Obviously, this last month and a half has been pretty crazy, which I'm sure it's funny for people to say like, Wow, you're really blown up. It's like, Well, I've had some pretty successful specials the last five years. I've been doing pretty good. But was there a moment where you're like, This might not work? I just can't break through?

I don't know if I ever felt... I remember one time my wife being like, Well, how long would you be doing this before would you do it? But I was just like, I'll be doing it forever. Yeah. And then that was the only time we've ever talked about it. That's a good confo. Yeah. You got to go like, Well, this is all I know. That's what I tell people. If you do anything, you have to be obsessed with it. And if you're not obsessed with it and willing to basically just be like, No, I'll do that. There is no backup plan. You really are probably not going to make it because you just can't have a backup plan.

Yeah. No, that's very similar to this world. You're more successful than us. But having that moment where I started blogging.

I mean, you all areenormous.

But thank you. I started blogging and I was like, Well, I'll just go back to corporate America in a couple of years. It doesn't work out. Then getting a couple of years in and being like, No, I think this is my job.

But that's what you do. You go, I know what I can go back to. I talk about now. I was a water meter reader in Mount Julia. I knew I could go back to that. It was a job. The guy I started with, he went back and he still works there. If I knew there was a job, I knew I had any job, I knew I had a job I could go back to. You have that. But then once you're in it, I don't know if you ever think, I mean, did you think? You don't ever think you're not going to make it.

Because we did burn the boats, too. We've said so much dumb stuff that we're virtually- Yeah, you can't go back. -unemployable anywhere else in America except here.

Right.

You.

Reach a point.

I could go back to being a dog adoption counselor in Austin at some point. That's probably the only job I'm still qualified to do right now. But we've worked ourselves a new situation where we're like, This is our world now.

Yeah, we're here. I had that moment where I was like, I don't think I could even have a resume anymore. What would my resume? What would I put down? I blogged for 10 years?

Yeah, I don't know. I've been saying... I mean, that's a thing where I don't know.

It's freeing, though. Once you take that step over the line, you're like, This is it.

Well, creating is... I mean, that's what you create, I create. When you create, it's the best because you're in control of it. Where you have the strikes are all going on and stuff like all these things that you feel bad for actors. I always thought that with acting is like, you got to hope they want you. It's not in your hands. And so when you're a stand-up or when you're doing this, you create it. So it's up to you if you want to do it. And that's a very freeing feeling to have to just go like, I am not relying on someone else.

Yeah. What's your favorite part of the process? Is it when you come up with something that you personally enjoy and you're like, You know what? That's a good joke. I'm very happy with it. Or is it when somebody else, you deliver it to an audience and they laugh at it and you're like, Okay, that hit, that landed. That's the word.

Yeah, new joke is the best feeling in the world. When you have something new, I had one little new thing that I added in this weekend on something and it just started hitting so hard. You haven't told her you're not tired of it. Because you can get tired sometimes of telling some of this stuff. Because you might tell it hundreds and hundreds of times to fix it, to fine it, to whatever. And so when you get something new, I mean, it's... Man, it's just like... Because you never know what you've got to... As a creator, you don't... It's not like you have a plan. You only can go out so far. And so when you come up with something new, it's like, Well, now, all right, I bought some time. You feel like you bought time to go, Well, now I got this. It's like still.

Got it. It's like a reminder that you're not completely falling off yet. Yeah. That's a cool way to think. A new joke feeling. Yeah, that's got to be right.

Up there. How was your golf game?

I'm an eight.

That's pretty damn good.

Yeah, it's probably even worse now. It hasn't been great with... I haven't been able to play. I need to play. I just haven't been able to play. It's such a big time commitment and it's just everything's got to be busy. Mentally, it takes so much to do it. I'll go play when I go home and just play at my course where I can just run around and it's not like a whole pressured. You're not playing somewhere that's the nicest place in the world. You're just like, I'll just hit around, whatever. But hopefully, I'll... It got COVID. I mean, COVID was... I played every day then.

Yeah, with the holes that had the cup filler in it. Remember those?

Yeah, yeah. Just walk around outside.

How many lives did those save?

I don't know. Probably millions. But I mean, people shot some low scores. Yeah. Because you just brush that little pool noodle, you're like, Birdy.

I got it.

I'm going 30 miles an hour.

Covid was actually a great thing for America. If you look at our handicaps.

Our handicaps all went down. Now we're all regretting it because now you're down there and you're like, Man, this is not...

Yeah, if you're playing against someone, you're like, Damn, I wish I didn't have that COVID score on there. You're from Nashville. Do you root for Vandy?

Not Tennessee? Yeah, I'm a big.

Vandy fan. Oh, that's unfortunate.

Yeah, it was... Growing up, my mom worked at Vandy. She was in the ticket office for a little bit. I had a cousin that coached there in the '70s. So we just grew up around Vandy. I've always been a Vandy fan. I think it's built character in me. It's ads a lot. I'm a giant. I love Vandy fan. We got baseball now. Baseball is great. Women's bowling is saying we're quite the problem for teams in women's bowling. Women's bowling? Yeah, you do not want.

To-okay.

Yeah. I do think that rooting for a bad team does build character, though. You're definitely right about that. We both root for the worst NFL teams. He's a Paris fan. I'm a Commanders fan. If we were successful, if we rooted for the Patriots, then people would absolutely hate.

Our guys. Yeah. Well, that's when you can see there's a lot of kids. I remember the Bron, he's like a.

Yankees.

Bulls, and Cowboys fan. And there's that age where you're like, Are you kidding me, dude? But then he went to play for Cleveland. You're like, All right. Well, I mean, he was in it. But yeah, when they root for all that, you're like, I don't know the Cowboys are not doing good now.

Yeah, there's a whole generation of people who picked up the Cowboys and they're like, Wait, we thought we'd win every year. It's been like 25 years where they haven't won anything.

Yeah, you got to go through that. It's nice to just be like, Golly. Your heart gets broken so much. I saw Andy. I remember in '95 or six or something. We played LSU. Lsu was ranked seven. We're not ranked. It's seven to nothing. Then we score a touchdown with 13 seconds left, so it's seven-six. We're going to go for two because it doesn't matter. I was at the game. You're like, This is the greatest thing we're about to beat. I mean, if we get it, we're going to beat LSU. We had all the momentum. We get back to back delay game-piddling. And then kick a 90-yard extra point that gets blocked and then lose the game. And it's stuff that you're like, I couldn't have even guessed that that's what was going to happen. You thought, All right, worst case, we just don't get it. But we tried. Back to back to back delay. And then the next day, because this one you had to read in the paper about the interviews, next day they asked, it was Woody Woodenhofer, who passed away. They asked him, they go, What play were you going to do?

He goes, I have the same play. We're like, Then what were you all talking about over there? Because there was no change. There was nothing.

But here's the one positive thing about being a Vandy fan is it's every other team in the SEC's nightmare to lose to VanDie. You have that over them. You could lose 20 in a row, but if you beat them once, like LSU, Alabama, all these teams, they would be completely mortified and it would ruin their year. Yeah.

So you have that.

Eternal.

Spoiler. Cutler beat Tennessee for the first time in 27 years. I have the DVD of that game at home. That was one of the greatest days. That's what I mean. Say you just become a cheese fan now, and you've seen them win all these Super Bowels now, it's like the appreciation of... We didn't even go to a bowl game that year that we beat Tennessee, but we beat Tennessee. And it hurt them so bad.

You beat Florida and the Swamp too.

I beat Florida in the Swamp. When you do those, that is my national championship. Right. And so you appreciate it at a level that's-Yeah.

And it completely ruined. There's a Florida fan and a Tennessee fan listening to this right now being like, God damn it, Cutler did beat us in the swamp.

Cutler did beat Tennessee. They're still upset about it. It's like being from a small town feeling where you're like, Yeah, I'm not in the big city. I don't know how that is. So we don't get talked about much. I mean, I've been watching ESPN. I remember just trying to see if your team would get talked about it. If we had a good weekend and then you're like, Dude, I mean, they might... Part of the reps might talk about us or someone might talk about us. And so then you get to hear people talk about Vegas and you just are like, I can't believe. Because they're just talking about the main.

The biggest market. We get that on this show where we'll talk about a cool story or a smaller team and people are like, Thank you for talking about this. Thank you for giving us three minutes on this team.

Yeah, we don't need much.

Right. Just be like.

They're good. They're good. Yeah, and you're like, They are good. I make Game Day, they were not going to show that Van the Auburn pick. No. And they did that just because I was on. They're like, All right, we'll start with Van the Auburn.

What was that like on Game Day? Any pressure to get your picks right?

I don't know if you get... I wanted to, again, you're going to such a giant thing. And obviously, being from the south, Game Day is a giant thing for us and for everybody that's in college football. But Game Day is such a big thing. And so we said, I just wanted to have it. You have five, 10 seconds for every pick. So I was trying to just come up and just have a joke with everything. So just everything I got to, we just went through it and just be like, Just let me have one quick little joke, whether it'd be the best joke I could come up with for what it was. I think I did good. I think Arizona beat UCLA last night. They did. I think I had three losses.

Yeah, and you also pissed off all of Oklahoma, which is good. Because that's really the key to college football discourse, is you got to make at least one fan.

That hate you so much. Yeah, I never want to do that. It's impossible not to. It's impossible. That was in the moment. I did not think of that until in the moment. But then you're surrounded by all ICC. I was just trying to make a joke. And that was the only, in the moment, I was like, I'll just say this. And then I just said it. And then afterwards, yeah, people, college football fans can get very upset.

You're going to get it like when Oklahoma hangs 60 on Vandy. You're going to get so many people.

Being like, Oh, yeah, N-Yeah. What did you say? Yeah, I expect it to be like, Yeah, yeah.

But they're thinking about it. They're waiting for that moment. They're waiting for that moment. That's the best part about college football is you say one thing. It could be a throwaway line, and people will remember it for years and years and years to.

Shove it back in your face. Yeah, I wonder when we played it.

But imagine, all you have to do is just beat them once. If you beat.

Oklahoma.

One first time, oh, my God.

If Vanity beat Oklahoma. Oh, man.

You're building something, man. You're just building something.

That's why I love college football, though. People are so psycho and everyone's psycho. It's not like, Oh, there's a rational fan base out there. No, no. Everyone has their own quirks. Every fan base is weird in their own special way.

The irrational ones are the ones that went to that school. It's the people that couldn't go. I'm cheering for the Vaner build a team that I could never get in that school. Right. And then you become teams of all this stuff that's like Oklahoma, all this.

That's actually insane that you became a Vanderbilt fan without going to Vanderbilt. It's like you chose this life.

Yeah. That's torture. Yeah, you just get into it. Yeah, a lot of two wins. I had some zero wins.

Yeah, like a lot of people say.

Like-but you believe it's going to win. At the beginning of the season, you're like, Dude, we might...

I mean, this season-Yeah, you played Hawaii and you beat them.

We beat them. This season I thought, I go, We might be undefeated going into Georgia. I think it will happen. I believed it in my heart. That's what I love about sports is you just have this... You go, I don't know how we're not going to be undefeated.

Yeah, no, I-.

I mean- You go, Show me where we're going to lose. You're asking your other friends, Point at.

The game. At worst, we're.

Nine wins. Yeah, I go, If you're lucky, I'll give you a We have won loss. I'll give you a Georgia might be. I'll give you that.

That's why August is my favorite month. I wish I could go back there right now because I'm a bears in Wisconsin badge. I went to Wisconsin, and it's like there's many clips of me being like, Yeah, I think Bear is going to win 11 games and Wisconsin is like 10 or 11 as well. And both are not even close. But that two weeks preceding football season, we're just walking around and be like, Anything could happen.

You're a Commanders fan. I was a Retson fan when I grew up because we didn't have the Titans. Now I'm a Titans fan. But the Washington football team was the best. That was the best name in the world. I agree. And it made me, when that name came out, I go, I feel stupid saying these other names. Yeah, exactly. I go, Why are we? It should be the Tennessee football team. And it should be, you're like, Oh, the Titans or the Dolphins. And you're like, This feels stupid.

Saying that. Exactly. You're like a Philadelphia fan. You wrote for a cartoon bird. Great job. We're a football team. We play football. None of this candy.

Ass stuff. Yeah, it made it. I never thought about it until they were the Washington football team. I was like, Well, that's the best name I've ever heard in my life.

Yeah, I hope they go back to it. I do, too. I don't think they're going to stay with the Commanders. I think they're going to go back either to the football team, maybe the hogs. We might be the hogs. Cartoon pig would be fun.

Yeah, the hogs would be good. But I think the whole league should just go, just say the city you're from, the Miami football team. And you're like, perfect.

Yeah, I agree. We line up and play football. We line.

Up and play football. We line up. These are grown men.

Yeah, because the Dolphins, we have a theory like the Dolphins, very good team. But when you take those jerseys, the Aqua and the Orange and all that, and you put them in Buffalo or Pittsburgh in a December game, you can't win that game. That is true. You just can't. It's just the jersey.

It's a summer. It's got a summer vibe.

Right. It's like you can't play football in those jerseys in January.

Yeah, that is interesting. Yeah, you need a little more hard. Your colors need to be.

A little harder. And this is also why I'm a lifelong loser betting because I'm betting on.

Football jerseys. Yeah, being a Dolphins fan is probably so fun right now.

Yeah, well, you can't beat any good teams.

Just lost today. It's fun, but you also have to think in the back of your head like we might be frauds.

Yeah, which is the worst thing that could happen. You'd much rather be like, I know my team is bad, or I know my team is good, but being the frauds where it's like, Oh, our record is good, but every time we play a good team, we lose. That's the worst feeling in sports.

I like Mike McDowens a lot. I met him. Dan Soter, a comedian. Yes, he's a childhood friend. Yeah, yeah. And so we met him when he was at the Redskins, the Commanders, the Washington football team. Is like, so we met him then and he was like, Before San Francisco, he was coming up. And so it's super fun to see.

Yeah, his come up.

Yeah, where he's.

At now. Yeah. All right, I have one last question. This has been awesome, Nate. We really appreciate you taking.

The time to come by. Oh, yeah. Thanks for having me.

Rowback question, rhobackk. Com, promo code take, rowback. Com, promo code take, Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything rowback. Com, promo code take. So a little bit of a personal question that I might be projecting, but how long do you think you can do comedy? Can you do it for the rest of your life? Or is it something in your head you're like, I'm going to be 65 doing this? And again, I might be projecting because I ask myself this.

All the time. Yeah, I mean, Seinfeld does it. He's 68.

Yeah, true. Good point. -he's 68.

Cosby did it for as long as he could. -he turned out great. -he turned out great.

As long as he could is a great hit.

Yeah, I mean, his age didn't stop him. And then Don Rickles was 90. I mean, when Don Rickles got up there, I think it was pretty tough in the... It's just they get so... They're older. I mean, Steve Martin and Martin Short still go out. They're 78 maybe, or I don't know how old Martin Short, but they're that old. So comedy is a great thing that you can. You build your audience. And if you keep growing with your audience, I think you hit an age where you're not getting new fans. But the people that do like you are just keep going with you and you just keep putting stuff out. So I do think you can do it for as long as you want to. It's tiring to come up with stuff. You guys will know that creating stuff can be exhausting, and you're just non-stop. So it'd be nice to be just where you can go, I'll go out when I want to go out. Seinfeld right now can just go, You know what? I'm going to go to Philadelphia. And then he's like, Let's go set it up. Or he's coming here, Chicago next week with Gaffkin.

Him and Gaffkin are doing shows together. You can do some stuff like that. That's some fun things. I do hope to create stuff that can outlive where I don't have to go out and do shows. But I think I'll always do shows. I'm really telling a joke, live audience, I was thinking about Saturday night live? Performing in front of a live audience and Saturday night, performing in front of a live audience, it's so much fun. Your timing is good. It's just the greatest thing to go do something live. That's the thing that I think I would be addicted to, is you want to get out in front of a crowd and be like, I want to make them laugh in the moment and all this stuff.

You don't really hear about comedians retiring that much. It's like hanging up and saying, You know what? I'm just going to stop being funny.

Yeah, they don't. Bill Inval, I think, retired recently. But I mean, he'll still pop up and do some benefit shit. You're still going to get asked to do stuff. I think you just do it. Foxworthy, I know, goes around. The goal is to hopefully do it how you want to do it, where you can go, Yeah, I'm going out. I go out twice a month or something and then whatever. Instead of now where it's just like, I look at going, I'll get to 50 and then I'm 44. I always thought 40 to 50 will be a giant run. Let me see where I'm at at 50, and I might be like, Well, now I'm going to keep going.

Right now it's like you're to the moon.

Yeah, well, it's crazy. Hopefully people don't get... I don't want to be too much around. I try to not... I mean, this has been a lot this week.

Does it ever bother you when people say you're the nicest guy in comedy? That would bother me.

No, I like it.

You are a nice guy, but nice is sometimes seen as like, Oh, he's nice.

Yeah. Well, I don't want people to think it's fake. Yeah, no, it's not fake. I think people think I'm very driven. I'm very, with comedy, I can take comedy very serious. I have all that stuff. But then it's also I just want to be nice. I just want to be nice to... When you meet people and you meet people that come to your shows and stuff like that, I just don't ever think the weight of my world should be on an audience's shoulders. I don't want them to ever worry about it. I'm there to entertain you, and that relationship should.

Be that. I think it's also just like the idea of a comedian. People can't really be like, Hey, he's a really good person, because comedians like you think, Oh, well, they're making jokes at everyone's expense and that, but that's obviously not you. So I think it's.

Like-well, that's why I'm just this-Well, that's why I'm just this for myself. Right, yeah. I never liked making fun of someone because I just feel bad. The way I do my hour now is I've stumbled on this. I write it where it feels like I feel like a movie. Even these are real stories, but I'm a character in a movie. When you're up there, you're like, I'm just reading a movie, too. I just want you to picture me like Adam Sandler movies are, it's him making fun of himself and all these movies. It's that feeling where you just want to be like, This is just trying to be fun. I'm in this movie. I'm just this fun, dumb guy going through all this stuff.

Well, like I said, I saw you on Friday night. I was dying laughing. You're insanely talented. Thank you again for stopping by. We love to be on. Anytime you're in town, maybe hit the golf simulator.

I know you all can. This is such an unreal space.

It is very cool.

Yeah, we're very excited.

Yeah, I would be. I definitely would be exciting. It's fun to come to work. Yeah. You got to doubt. Yes.

All right, well, thanks so much, Nate.

Appreciate it. Absolutely. Thanks, man. Nate Bargatsu was brought to you by Amazon Music. Prime members specifically, if you're a Prime member, I know I am a lot of you out there, Prime members, did you know that you could be listening to this podcast episode and all Barcelay sports podcasts on Amazon Music, ad-free? Simply included with your Prime membership. All Amazon Prime members also get access to the largest catalog of ad-free top podcasts. You can enjoy shows like part of my take, Spitting Chicklets, listen to Ryan Whitney be wrong about the Edmonton-Oilers, and many, many more. So wrong. So wrong. Actually, he was right. Then he was wrong about being wrong about him.

He did an emergency spaces last night on Twitter. That means.

He's failing it. He's got to be doing more than that. To start listening, download the Amazon Music app or visit Amazon. Com/barstool23. That's Amazon. Com/barstool23.

Okay, the triumphant return of Guys on Chicks.

Hank.

How's your reading voice doing?

Great. I was born to read.

The triumphant return of Guys on Chicks. Hank was born to read. He's a reader through and through. Henry, Guys on Chicks.

Hi, PMT.

Breaking Moose.

This.

Comes from Dove Kleinman. . He is saying that there.

Is a rumor. Thanks, Mike.

Thank.

You, Max.

Owner, Robert Kraft, could move on from Coach Bill Belichick if they lose in Germany to the Cults via the Boston Globe.

That's interesting, Big Cat.

From the report, based on my conversation. I don't think it's 100% that Belichick finishes out the season. I have the hiccups.

Could they leave him in Germany?

Dolph Clim is not.

A real person. This report sounds real, and it's via the Boston Globe. Ever heard of it? They did Spotlight, Hank. Hold on, I have more. They did Spotlight, Hank.

If Belichick comes from Germany with a two and eight record, I think there's a chance that Kras could make the move in the by-week and install Jared Mayo as the interim coach for the final seven games.

Wait, but, Big Cat, I have a question. Didn't he just sign an extension this offseason?

He did.

Also in that same report, it says that it was an extension through 2024, so it's a one year extension.

What was that noise, Hank?

What did you say? What was that noise, Hank? I'm sorry, Max cut my headphones too.

Thoughts.

Hank. Max cut my headphones.

People would like to know your thoughts. About what? This report. You want me to read it all again from the start?

No. Just went in Germany and this.

Is no problem.

This is a must-win.

For Bellachat. Must-win in every sense of the world.

Yeah, every game is a must-win. I'm not fucking stupid.

He's literally coaching for his job.

Yeah. It's his job to coach.

He's always coaching. Also, I feel like any time a team is bad and they're playing overseas, the go-to joke is leave blank in blank.

Yeah, leave him on the tarmac. Don't bring him home.

I feel like Belichick would have fun if he got left in Germany.

Yeah, he would. I feel like if Belichick got fired, he'd go on an awesome bender.

Go hang out with his girlfriend.

He's been fired before with the Browns. This time he's fired and he's got six rings. Who the fuck cares? He's got probably hundreds of millions of dollars.

Do you not count the defensive coordinator rings like that? He's got eight rings.

Do.

We? As a head coach, he's got six.

Yeah, but he's got eight. Okay.

It's a team. So you count all those? Okay, that's fine. Absolutely. Bless you. Bless you.

Bless you.

I'm okay. I mean, he's a defensive coordinator. It's not like he was like special team's assistant.

Yeah, but I just think it's interesting that he might get fired as head coach and there's two other guys that are sitting in the same room as you that are looking for head coaches. Now, wouldn't that be something if one of us got him?

Yeah, it would be something. Yeah. It would.

Definitely be something. Which team would you rather he go to? The commanders or the bears?

Probably the, I don't know. I mean, at least the Commanders have a new owner and they might turn things around. The bears are currently a dumpster fire with no turnaround and sight.

They're the oldest owner.

At least the commanders, they're a horrible franchise with just a history of losing over and over and over again and breaking players, losing good players, losing all their good coaches. But that was the old regime and maybe the new regime can be a little better.

I want Harbaut, so I don't care.

I would take Belichick. I just want to say that. For the record, I think Bill Belichick is a good head coach and I would like to see him coaching my team, especially if it's instead of Hank's team.

I think I want Harbaut in Chicago more than anything I've ever wanted in my life.

Melo?

I did want Melo very badly. Yeah.

Didn't get him. Hey, PMT.

Hey.

My boyfriend has lost so much lately that not even my roommate wants to sleep with… What.

Can.

I do to make him feel better? He says he just wants to focus on work. What the fuck is this? But I heard from one of his coworkers that he's having trouble.

Hitting a button.

Three times a week. Oh, man. This is so.

Fucking funny. My girlfriend's roommate. I can't read these. I get it now. Boyfriend, that was the question?

Read the start. My boyfriend has lost so much lately that not even my roommate wants to.

Sleep with him. That's such a great setup.

That might not be about Max, though.

Yeah, that could be about anyone. Let's answer this. All right, this guy sounds like he might be going on a diet, so that's good. Maybe he'll get his libido back.

I think what he needs to do to turn it around is, first of all, he needs to dedicate himself to his job. If you can find success professionally, then you feel better about yourself. If you get really into doing your job well all the time, that would be a good idea. Second, we can learn from Arthur Smith a little bit, change up the facial hair, maybe take the beard off. I'm just assuming this guy has a beard. If you're sad and if you're losing, you grow a beard. It's your sadness escaping your face. Sounds like a loser.

I cut my hair.

On Friday. Wait, what? What do you mean you? This isn't about you. I cut my hair. I was just letting you guys know I got a haircut. You are a narciss.

I am letting you know-Max, are you so sad that you won't even sleep with your girlfriend's roommate? I do.

Not sleep.

With my girlfriend.

You did once. You slept with her.

You did once. I fell asleep one time. You literally slept with her.

What happens after you fall asleep? What are you doing?

Where did you fall asleep?

Where did you wake up? Did you or did you not sleep together?

This.

Was so long ago.

This.

Shouldn't be still talked about.

I've realized Hank's Ron Burgundy on the teleprompter, whatever you're talking about. Yeah, you could do anything.

Yeah, facts. That's how creative a reader he is.

He's born to read. My boyfriend is a big soup guy and loves to make it. He's been exploring new recipes of different soups that he finds on TikTok and are good amount. Some are good and some aren't so good. Chicken noodle is his best soup that he makes. That was worded incorrectly. Chicken noodle is his best soup that he makes, but also makes it at least three times a month. How do I go about telling him that some of the new soup recipes are not good and telling him that he makes chicken noodle soup too often?

Sounds like a soup hater. Yeah, this is a hater for sure. He's experimenting. Your complaint is that your boyfriend switches up the soups too much. That's a good thing. But then also at the same time, you're like, He makes the same soup all the time. I don't understand that.

First of all-If he has a good soup recipe that he makes three times a month isn't that much. It's really not. Soup is like, if you want a meal, you can get a meal. Soup is just great to have whenever you need it.

I have a little soup pack here for all my broth heads out there. If you make a good chicken noodle soup, you can switch up a little bit. A chicken noodle soup can turn into an Avgo Lamono Greek soup. It's a Greek chicken soup, which is my favorite soup in the world. It can also turn into a chicken tortilla soup if you add in some peppers, some corn, some tortilla strips. You can make variations. I'm just trying to take this off the chicken noodle soup. But yeah, this sounds like you don't know what you want.

Also, it sounds like you just need more crackers. I'm a big crackers guy in my soup. Any type of soup. Just more crackers, spice it up.

Hey, boys.

Hey.

My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year now and have been talking for years. He's always been into sports, but after moving in together, I've come to know what that truly means. When can I expect to have my boyfriend back? He likes to stealers, penguins, and Michigan football.

Come on. He's a lot going on.

I mean, if you didn't know this obsession before he moved in.

Also, the answer is May, June, July. Yeah. His girlfriend is-He sounds like a Pittsburgh fan. The good news is because he's a Pittsburgh fan, he probably doesn't watch any basketball.

Or baseball.

Yeah. So you're good. You get almost a third of the year with your boyfriend. Don't push it.

Every guy's sports addiction is like any other addiction. They let you know they dabble in it, but they hide from you the links that it goes to. When you see it in your face, you're like, Wow, that's way more sports than I thought you did. You do a lot of sports. You do a lot of sports. I could quit anytime, but I love doing it.

All right, last one. Hey, father of three, best college team in the nation, PFT.

-loser Hank. Did she.

Specify which sport? Loser Max. She did not. It could be three. And very cool Jake. My fiancé has really bad gas. He rips a loud one right when we wake up as we're laying in bed at night during dinner, literally all the time.

That sounds normal, actually.

That's not-During dinner is a little much.

He refuses to go see the doctor, see if he has a problem, and says, It's just who I am. I fart a lot and they smell. That's part of being a man. Yes. Do all men fart all the time? What's an acceptable amount of farts in a day?

You know what? I've never kept track of how often I fart.

I would say-It's a game of runs. Sometimes it's really bad. It's a really bad day. Sometimes you don't fart at all. Well, yeah, it's diet. So if you want to just start feeding them better food, you probably won't fart as much.

I've actually noticed the opposite. If I eat healthy, I have worse farts.

Salads are the worst farts. I was so.

Excited to chime in.

Eating healthy makes you.

Fart more.

And that's just a fact.

I don't know about that.

It might be because your body is so confused. What is a vegetable?

But if you just eat protein, if you go caveman diet, I don't think you can't eat it. Caveman would probably be fine. Yeah, caveman diet.

I would love to see that guy actually go to the doctor and he makes an appointment. The doctor is like, What's the problem? He's like, I fart.

He's like, Pull my finger.

Yeah, the doctor, they just start farting in the room together having a great time.

I would say baby steps. Lunch is an appropriate time to say, Please don't fart. Every other time, just let them be. As we always say with Guys on chicks, if you just start farting, he might stop. If you just start farting in his face and you're like, That's what I do. I fart. He's like, Oh, all of a sudden, farts aren't that funny.

Fight fire with fire. If you fart exactly as often as he does.

He will stop. I guarantee you. If you fart as much as him and then you're like, Hey, let's make a pact to stop farting, he will stop.

Also.

Just slip in some Bino.

Does that work? Yeah. I got to get on some beano. I got to start doing lines of Bino.

Bino does work. Okay, good show, everyone. Everyone go if you're in Chicago, come to the Barstol Invitational. If you're not, Barstol. Tv.

Good.

Reading, Hank. 6:00 PM Central is the first game. Tipping 5:45, I think is the anthem. It's also on the Barstol sports YouTube. Oh, on the YouTube as well.

After party at the River North Bar. Hell yes.

Okay, Hank. I'm going to.

Be ripping that River North Bar.

Have you ever gotten this?

I've gotten what?

The lottery ball.

Yeah, I have.

This one? On the new machine?

No.

I haven't.

Oh, that's too bad.

Have you?

Numbers. 18, 17, 20. What? What are you laughing about?

Three. 52.

Three.

Where did you get 52 from?

Kaleel Mac.

It's not Kaleel Mac. Let's go Kaleel.

Evan has 99. 10.

Shane has 10.

Nice job, dofus.

I hope Evan gets it.

Fuck you, freak. I think Evan's going.

To get it. Statistically, 17 is a horrible pick.

What's Evan's number?

Evan has 99.

It feels good.

There's also.

100 in there, right? Oh, yeah. Also in the reveal video, 47 popped up and I had a few people ask for accounts. That counts.

Counts for them or.

For- Counts for the machine, officially. I don't know if I can add it in because it wasn't an episode. We'll figure it out. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let's go.

You dickhead.

52, Hank. That's a first.

You dickhead.

Let's go. Let's go.

This is mine now.

Thank.

You.

Thank you very much. Kaleel Mac.

Big Cat took my number. Pft took my number. I got it. Big Cat took my number. I got it. I looked around. I saw this bobblehead Kaleel Mac sitting right behind Big Cat. Bang.

-it's only -Bang.

-it's only -Bang. We have to get a.

New lottery button. -wow. -my night is ruined.

Oh, fuck. That's huge.

For a hit. Shut up, Jake. You make it worse. -i'm just.

Trying to be big. You make it worse. Great night tonight.

-boo.

-it's sad how much of your night and your life really is predicated on you guessing.

How much. Are you guys talking about yourselves?

No, yours is.

Let's see another….

Let's see another… 17.

Counts? Counts. Counts. Counts. Counts. Eighteen.

Let's go 34.

You're going shock now? I'll do 33, Ron Deen. What do you guys guess? What did you guys guess? I don't think any of us are changing.

Yeah. Shane 10.

Yeah. God damn it, Hank. Only Hank. Bill Belichick is going to leave you and he's going to coach my team. He's going to win the Super Bowl.

96. Oh, fuck. I thought that was.

99 for Evan. It wasn't even close. 96 was a lot.

That's not even from me. The two numbers are upside.

Down from each other. You can delete this. -you could. -don't post it. You could. But if I didn't press the button.

Oh!

Soulpatch for two years. Why don't we just delete it? Why don't we just start over?

Max, would it be worth it for you to.

Have a soul.

Patch for two years? That didn't count. No. That didn't count.

No. I would rather Hank get the lottery ball every single day. You're such a piece of shit, Hank. You lost your computer for seven days.

Where is that computer?

Did you hide it?

I don't have it. No?

I don't fucking know. I don't care.

So you're just not going to work?

I'll find it. I'm going to enjoy this moment.

Show us over. Love you, guys. I hate you so much.

I'm talking away. I don't know.

What to say. I'll say it anyway.

Oh.

Today is.

Another.

Day to find you shying away.

I'll be coming for you.

Love of a dream. Needless to say, I won't send in. It's about to.

Be.

Stumbling away. Slowly learning that life is okay. Say to me, it's no better to be safe and sorry. Say to me, it's no better to be safe and sorry. Take me, take me. Take me, take me. Ican't take you. I can't take you. I'm trying to take you. Things that you say, yeah.

Is.

It a life of just to play my worries away? You are the.

Things I've got to remember.

And you're shying away.

I'll be.

Coming for you anyway. And you're shying away.

I'll be coming to.

You anyway. Take on me. Take on me. Take me on. Take on me. I'll make a song. You take on me. Take on me. Take me on.

Take.

Onme. I'll make you. Take on me. Take me on. Take on me. Take on me. Take me on. Take on me. Take me on.