Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon music.

If you liked him on the Daily show, then you'll love him on the Daily show. Have you heard the great news? Every Monday at eleven, John Stewart is hosting Comedy Central's the Daily show. Finally, a second term we can all agree on. Get ready for John to help make sense of all the nonsense. John Stewart hosts Comedy Central's the Daily show Mondays at eleven on Comedy Central.

On today's part of my take, we are back in studio. Good to see everyone. Some suntans? You get a little tan?

I was out on the course. I got flushed.

I got a little tan. Hank got a little tan. Little sunburn. Jake, you get a little sunburn?

Yeah, a little bit.

But I put on some sunscreen.

Max is sick.

I want to get that golfers tan. Was it Paul Azinger that had that one or Stuart sink? Stuart sink with a head that was just white?

Yeah, you need a bald head, though.

Yeah, that one rocks. Well, just wait a couple of years.

Yeah, we have a great show, though. We're back in studio. We're going to talk maybe a little fix on the NBA all star game because people are very upset about it. Hot seat, cool throne. Hank, are you debuting your top ten patriots? I have it. He has it. He's done it. Maybe we'll push it off now.

We're.

Hank, no, you haven't.

Well, I was going to say, I know I didn't want to be unprepared, but maybe waiting till the end of the series.

Okay, all right, that's a good idea.

But I have my current one.

But did you do this or did you have somebody else help you out?

I did it. He did it.

Did you put the lighthouse on the old lighthouse?

Maybe that should be on the old lighthouse.

We have a great interview with our good friend Keith Yandel talking hockey. This is the week where we're catching up on all of our sports. We did NBA preview with Rosillo on Monday. We have Keith Yandel talking hockey today. I think we're going to have Titus do some college basketball preview on Friday. New life for this show. And then we also, at the end of the episode, we're taking listener suggestions on life after football. So what their plans are for what to do with life without football.

We should circle back too, on the things that we said that we were going to do after football was over last year. Oh, do we have those? I have that list.

All right. So we'll do that at the end.

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Boy. Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work to be done no place to hang out on washing and then I can't blame all on the sun oh no, we gonna rock down to electric I rendu and then we'll take it higher oh, we gonna rock don't do electric it's.

Part of my take presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. Go download the DraftKings pick six app right now and get started with code take. Today is Wednesday, February 21, and the boys are back in studio. The boys are back. The boys are back.

The boys are back.

Kind of rocks being back in studio.

Not gonna lie, I'm a fade it out. Guess who just got back. Remember when it was Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan walking together, played that song. That was coolest fucking video ever. We're back. We're back. It is great to be back from vacation. Everyone feels rested.

Well, I did feel rested, big cat, until I watched the NBA all star game. And, man, did I expect more out of that one, puke. So I actually didn't watch the NBA all star game.

I did not either.

I've never felt smarter in my entire life. Went back, watched all the highlights, of which there were one or two. The highlight was really Adam Silver after the game, telling it was the Eastern Conference one. Congratulations on, I guess, scoring the most points tonight.

Yes. No, I thought so. There was that highlight, but the real highlight for me was Bob Ryan tweeting, if you're not personally offended by this, he wrote, but I assume he meant by, if you're not personally offended by this disgraceful farce taking place right now in Indy, you don't love or understand basketball. These quote unquote, all stars should be censored. And where are the coaches? Have any of them have any pride? They're all acting like athletic court gestures.

I love that. I would like to see a coach try to get players to play in the all star game. Like, have them do suicides before the game. Have them go out there running three man weave. Like, let's get. Come on, let's lock in. Do full court press.

Yeah.

Well, there's another one. He had one earlier that I missed. He said, once again, these NBA stars are showing no respect for the game. It's another Dunkarama and three point farce. Not a single hand in anyone's face. I'll see how TCM is doing. See you next year. What a waste of time. Adam, you must do something. It's embarrassing for your sport. Adam. Adam Silver, though, he kind of. Is he the number one commissioner now?

Yeah, he doesn't do shit well.

He just gets bullied by everyone.

Yeah, that's his job. I mean, Roger Goodell, he does get bullied, but he gets bullied by the owners.

Do you know what Adam Silver's biggest problem was? Was timing. Timing is everything in life. He came in and was commissioner. And you remember what happened, right when he was commissioner? I think he was like two months in. It was Donald Sterling, and he banned him for life. And everyone's like, this fucking guy rocks.

Gets it.

He is the best. And it's been all downhill from can't. You got to wait for those easy wins? You know what he should have done? He should have said, we're going to wait and see with Donald Sterling, put it in his back pocket, waited till there was an all star crisis at hand, and then been like, oh, yeah, that Donald Sterling guy. Is he even still alive?

Is he?

No, I think he is.

No, I think he's dead.

Boom. He's suspended for life.

Alive.

He should have waited.

Oh, really?

Hide 89 eightync. According to Wikipedia, he's got that.

When Donald Sterling dies, Adam Silver should release a statement that just says, good. Yeah, Adam Silver.

Remember when I banned him?

Yeah.

Anytime we mention Donald Sterling, we have to read the transcript from his 2003 deposition.

And also, big magic Johnson, what do you ever do?

Here's Donald Sterling's words from this deposition. 2003. Former owner of the Clippers. Well, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me when I'm in a limousine, she takes off all her clothes. The limo driver said, what's going on? And she started sucking on me on the way to Mr. Coon's house. And I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good. Then the lawyer. Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?

Love it. It literally was Michael Scott deposition.

It rocks.

Yeah, in real life. But I have some fixes for the all star game.

I do, too.

Okay, go ahead. No, you go ahead. I have some that are not going to work.

Hank, you go ahead.

You go ahead.

You got a fix. All right. My first fix is on the losing team. One person dies.

That's a good fix.

Do you don't think they would try hard? It's like the do a.

We.

We just take names out of a hat right after. It's like, oh, Luca, sorry, you're dead.

Yeah, the mystery knife would play, too, in that circumstance.

It would be great.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

That one's a little. I understand that one probably is going to. We're going to need to get a little bit further in the crisis to get that one enacted. But don't rule it out.

It would kind of rock, though, if LeBron's team lost. And then the players vote on who gets killed and they vote LeBron off.

Okay.

Yeah, I saw you had a similar idea to this big cat, but we talked about this for the Pro bowl game because we fixed the Pro bowl, too. And the solution to that was all the players on the winning team get to hit free agency one year early.

Yeah.

And I did the reverse, where if you play the NBA all star game, losing team has one player that can never be an all star again.

Yeah, I like that.

Yeah.

So it's like that. Loses out on.

Yeah.

Uh, winning team gets to dress the losing year.

I like that. I had some rest of the year ones. Losing team can'tie. Their shoes for the rest of the season.

Okay, that's cool.

That'd be pretty funny. Losing team has to fly southwest for the rest of the season.

Southwest is fine. I flew it this morning.

Hank disagrees. Not for NBA players.

Yeah, true.

Barbaric. What about this? What about the Richard Mindenhall rules? What if we make the all star game white versus black? Oh, okay, so who's the white starting five?

Luca.

Luca.

Caruso.

Jokic.

Caruso. Grayson Allen.

Peyton Pritchard.

Peyton Pritchard.

Mac McClung.

Mac McClung. I'd put that five up again. There's got to be a plumlee out there.

And then who's on the other team? Everyone else.

Yeah.

Literally everyone else. How about this one? This one would actually be really brutal. Losing team has to be the video crew for LeBron's farewell tour.

Okay. Yeah.

They can't play basketball for at least a year. Probably two. This one would be fun. Losing team draws out of a hat, and the loser, that person's team has to give Darko 20 minutes a game for the rest of the season. Okay, let's get Darko back in.

Yeah, sure.

What the fuck? Well, if Darko was getting 20 minutes.

On the bucks, he might be great. We don't know.

I have a real one, though.

Okay.

That I actually think would work.

I got another one.

Okay, go ahead.

You go.

This kind of straddles the line of real and maybe not real. What if the number one team in college basketball got to play against the all stars? Because they'd at least try.

They would try.

They would have to try. Because the threat of being embarrassed by the number one team.

That's true.

That would be enough to make the guys actually go out there and do something cool.

I saw some people saying they should do us versus the world. That would be good. I mean, maybe you'd have a little bit of had. So the problem is the in season tournament. Not only does it know you win a championship in Vegas, but there's money involved. People are saying we need to get money involved in the all star game. The problem is, though, the all star game money involved. All those guys get paid so much money. The in season tournament works because the stars are playing for the last guy on the bench. Like, I remember, wasn't it? The Pacers were in the final of it, and it was like three or four guys are making $10 million a year, but everyone else is getting paid nothing. So they're playing for half a million dollars. That means something. What if it was losing team or.

Sorry.

Winning team gets money out of the losing team's pocket. But we went one further. So the losing team literally has to pay the winning team. So now it's money out of your pocket. Losing team has to pay winning team $10,000 per point. Oh, because now you play defense.

Yeah.

You play defense, and it doesn't matter if you're losing, you.

Correct.

Trying.

Yeah.

Correct.

Not a bad idea. Right.

And you have to pay them in $1 bills.

Yeah.

And it takes.

But dame would have gotten $500,000. He scored 50, right?

Yeah.

Did he?

Was it 50? I thought he scored 59. He scored a lot of points.

We didn't watch the game.

We didn't watch the game.

So it's good for us because we can't get upset about it.

Trey Young and Donovan Mitchell actually had a decent idea. I think that would probably work. They told this to Rachel Nichols after the game. They said, get an MC out there. So have a guy, like, at the n one mixtape or, like, at Rucker park that's on the court narrating the game as it happens.

Roasting them.

Yeah, roasting you if you get crossed.

What if. What if the winning team, immediately after the game, had to go, and in the back room, it was club Shea.

Shea.

And they got to just bash the losing team?

I like that.

Yeah, that would be bad.

Good idea.

That would be very bad.

What if you had Ben Simmons and he's just shooting on a hoop out to the side, and he has to score 100 points on his own? Only three pointers in the time that both teams have to get over 100 points?

What do you mean?

So, like, he's on a hoop all by himself.

Right.

The other team, not scoring, are playing each other.

Right.

And he has to score 100 points.

So it's a challenge for Ben Simmons.

Challenge for Ben Simmons.

Yes.

Ben Simmons can beat the two teams to 100.

Cannot. He cannot.

What if the game doesn't end till they hit 41 free throws in a row?

Oh, he'd still be there.

They'd be there forever. Unless they got Scott Morris from Unh. Shout out.

Or spencer. Was that the guy's name?

Spencer, the ringer. The ringer.

Ringer guy.

By the way, we have shirts. Hank, go grab one of the shirts with the 41 free throw shirts. I don't know about you guys, but I don't think I said this on Sunday's pod, but I got to Mexico and I got to the house and I immediately slept for eight more hours. Yeah, it was first day of vacation. I was like, I'm going to do some more sleeping.

Yeah.

You forget how much an all nighter takes away your entire world.

Yeah.

You don't feel like you're alive for.

About two days and you convince yourself you're not tired and then you close your eyes for 1 second and 8 hours go by.

Yeah.

41 free throws.

Awesome.

I really do think that the losing team paying the winning team would work because guys don't want to lose money. And especially if you tied it into the point total, guys would play defense. But at the end of the day, who cares, right? I mean, it's the NBA all star game.

If you expected anything besides this, the only reason why you might be expecting something different was Adam Silver did say, I think in November that we're not going to have an embarrassing all star game. You're going to be entertained.

Yeah.

So that was a fucking.

He just, again, those players run his life like, oh, yeah, we're going to make it even more embarrassing. But yeah, other than baseball, I know hockey, people were saying the hockey has done a better job, but baseball is the only all star game that really, and that even has lost a little bit of its allure because it used to be dating ourselves when there wasn't interleague play, it was like, oh, fuck, I can't wait to see this matchup. We'll never see this matchup again. But baseball still has a little bit of allure because guys are still throwing hard and trying to hit.

Yeah, football just gave up.

Yeah, they did.

Which was smart because now no one expects anything out of them.

Yeah.

NBA should just give.

Why?

Why? It's way easier to give up.

It's way easier to give up. Then people can't complain.

The football one, they get the advantage because it's the end of the year.

Yeah, but I think even basketball, they will.

Basketball, you could just tie it in the in season tournament, do that later in the year.

Yeah, I really think the money thing is the only thing to save. And it can't be that the winning team gets money. It has to be tied into the losing team losing money because like I said, all the guys you're getting paid a ton of money. I don't think if you said $100,000 to every winner on the all star team, yeah, obviously $100,000. But some of these guys are making $55 million a year. What do they care? Like, oh, I'm going to try way harder now.

What if all of the all stars, you get selected because the other thing with the contracts is like, that's built in your contract if you make all stars, right?

That's what I'm saying. That's why you should lose. One person should never be all star again.

What if every all star has to volunteer a player on their behalf, and then it's for money?

Oh, I like that. This guy's got to pay or this guy gets paid.

Oh, I like that.

I like that. You get the last guy on your bench, you're like, I want to get him paid.

But you also have to work with your other all stars on getting the best team together so your team can win.

Yeah.

Okay, well, we fix the all star.

Or if it was money, what if it was money that got paid to whatever college you went to, if you went to college, because a lot of those guys, they like gassing up their alumni.

Yeah, I think a lot of them don't.

You don't think so?

Well, they only went for, like, a year. A lot of them.

Yeah.

Zion's playing for the brotherhood.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, he's definitely still playing.

Absolutely, brother. Absolutely, 100%. The other thing that came out of this weekend, the NBA weekend, is Doc Rivers is really unlikable.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

Told you as a snake.

So he had the balls to, after taking someone's job and saying he was working for the Bucks as an analyst, took the job. Took Jeff Gundy's job, and then was like, yeah, I'm good with his announcer stuff. I'll be the Bucks head coach, and we'll fire Adrian Griffin. Whatever. 40 games into the season, Doc Rivers had the balls to say it was a tough time for him to take the job. He said, taking a job when you're about to go on the toughest road trip of the season is not the smartest decision. I even told him that, can we wait till all star break? You know, it would have been a lot nicer.

Yeah, it would have been nicer. For sure. It would have been great. You get, like, a month of prep time.

Yeah.

Good job, Doc. You got the job. You can't complain about a job that you stabbed somebody in the back for.

He also had a. I'm pulling it up. He had a quote where it actually sounded like when Dave does his bit with excuses, like not to make excuses, then rattles off a bunch of excuses. Listen to these. Listen to Doc river. Explain the start he had with the, you know, the Utah game. You kind of know altitude back to mean whoever scheduled a Dallas, Utah have never been on an airplane in their know or no time know. That was just a tough one. We knew that. I guarantee you, when they looked at that before the year started, they were like, this was going to be a brutal game for us. End of a trip, legs. You can just see it. We've got a lot of injuries right now, so guys are playing more extended minutes. I think that's probably. And you know what?

Loose season, El Nino.

So he went altitude, schedule, time zones, fatigue, injuries, defense.

That's about it.

In 30 seconds, it's a royal flush.

Yeah, I've heard people throw El Nino into a lot of shit. He should have put that in there. Just played. What does that mean? Like going.

It's a leap year going.

Got extra days this month going from Dallas to Utah.

Everybody knows time zones and altitude.

You go from Dallas to Utah, you might as well be going through hell.

It's the toughest road trip in America.

That's really hard. What else do you want us to do?

Dallas to Utah.

Next you're going to say Sacramento.

Yeah. Oh, man.

So, yeah, Doc Rivers, good job coming back and really making everyone be like, wait, why do people like this guy?

Yeah, I don't like Doc.

Yeah, Hank.

I mean, he's a championship winning coach. What's not to like?

All right, what else do we got going on in the sports world? Pitchers and catchers did report.

Yeah.

And there are a bunch of baseball players that aren't signed yet.

Yeah. I don't know.

One of my hot seats.

I don't know what's going to happen with that.

We'll save it for hot seat. Cool throne.

I'm excited about baseball, though.

I'm excited about various.

Well, dingers only.

Yeah, we're doing dingers only again.

Yeah. No hit by pitches.

No hit by pitches. Just dingers.

So we should set a date.

Yeah, we'll set a date. Let's say June 20, midseason. Well, we don't have to do the start of this. Yeah, not the start.

Cold.

Also, what's going to be an interesting twist is we're going to have to figure out how to disable notifications on our phone for every player that we had hitting home runs last year.

Yeah.

I just got a Brandon Lau injury update.

That's tough.

So we can do 4 July 1 of the episodes again.

We should be able to keep one guy, though.

A keeper league.

A keeper league.

Yeah.

You get to keep one dinger.

You know what we should do is we should draft. This is what we should do. Our team before opening day. And every week you get to add one guy to your active roster till we get the full roster.

I like that one guy that you.

Yes.

You have to guess.

That's a nice way to ease in. First week, you're just rooting for one dude to go yard. Second week, you got two guys you keep track of.

Yeah.

It's like the Royal Rumble of dinger's home.

Opening day in South Korea, March 20 eigth.

Who cares? Oh, wait, they're playing in South. I think you said opening day for South Korea is like, who cares about that?

Dodgers Padres, South Korea.

Oh, sorry.

March 20.

March 20. All right, well, we're not going to.

Be doing that kind of time zone.

Is that going to be literally. Isn't that first day of March madness?

Yeah, right.

That's really stupid.

Great job, baseball.

Yeah.

They're a week before everyone else. The March 20 eigth is everyone else.

What should the punishment be this year? I like something baseball related.

Yeah, it was good. This year's punishment was good. Just run it back.

Run it. We could run it back.

We could. Also.

Do you get hit by a 90 miles an hour fastball? That'd be fun.

That sounds fun.

That does sound fun.

Maybe you have to just, like, face a college pitcher until you can.

Oh, you know what we should do is we should run it back, but the loser also has to bat.

Yeah.

Because I think facing against a college pitcher would be. That'll be terrifying.

Yeah.

The loser has to be Shohei.

Yeah.

And you have to keep taking it bats until you get a base hit.

Yeah.

Oh, that will take forever. Maybe we won't put in that.

We'll.

We'll refine it, but, yeah, I like doing. I think we should run it.

Let's see that.

You got to get a hit.

Shut up, Max. You're sick. I'm fine. No, I mean, you're sick in the head.

Okay.

Yeah.

And a baseball.

And a baseball. You're so sick. Hank, do you want to do your top ten patriots?

Yeah.

So this could change.

Yeah. Because I said I would do it. We were debating it, and then I was watching the first two episodes of sorry, dynasty I've heard, and I haven't.

Watched it yet, but we'll all watch it so that we can review it together. But I've heard the crafts are spin zoning stuff. That's just what the tweets have seen.

They're heavily featured.

You just listen to Kirk.

No, that wasn't just. Kirk did say it, but I've seen tweets, too, being like, I think Simmons even said the crafts were spins that Kirk's.

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't around, obviously, my first watching it, I was like, holy shit. I was literally nine years old when this started. People are saying that they made it seem like the Patriots are really bad before Brady, and they actually weren't with parcels. And Pete Carroll.

Yeah.

So they do focus a little bit on the crafts, and it's told from his point of view, kind of, but you have to almost tell it from his point of view because he's the one that made the decisions, like bringing in Belichick and then Belichick deciding Drew Bledsoe or Tom Brady and then Kraft, like, signing off on that and trusting him. So you do have to tell his side of the story. By far, my favorite part of it so far is Ernie Adams. You get so much Ernie Adams already. And Ernie Adams.

He might be on a white whale list of ours.

Yeah.

He's a very interesting guy. So he's driving out of his house, which is a very nice house. Dude drives a Subaru, of course. Like, a classic Subaru. Love that guy.

Yeah. I wouldn't expect him to drive anything else. It would be either a Subaru or, like, a Corolla.

Yeah.

Nothing like 1997 Toyota Camry.

Yeah.

Nothing more.

It's going to be painful waiting week in and week out for all the episodes. I think there's ten episodes. There are only two out right now. And I think after this week, it goes one by one by one.

Hurts our brains.

Yeah.

I started watching this new show on Hulu, and I watched the first two episodes and realized that it was every week, and it devastated me because I cannot remember week to week anything.

Yeah.

I need to be able to binge. I actually think what the streaming services should do, because when you binge, you watch it so fast, you don't remember anything. But when it's week to week, you watch it so slow, you don't remember anything. They need to basically put, like, we're a bunch of Labradors trying to eat our food out of a bowl. The spiral bowls. It should be like, once you start an episode, you can watch three episodes in one day.

Yeah.

And then the next day, you can watch three episodes. Yeah, they basically control your binging.

I started the Patriots dynasty show, and then when I got to the end of the available ones, I kept clicking on the third one even though it said, like, coming out March 3 or whatever. And I was like, no, that must be a mistake. Show me more.

Do it. Netflix or apple? Do a controlled binge so we can save ourselves from ourselves, but also we can remember what the fuck's going on. Because you guys know when you binge something, you do those. Like, you'll watch, like, four episodes in one night and then be. I'll do. There's a cliffhanger. I'll watch the fifth and barely remember it because you're falling asleep. Yeah, give me three a day. Three a day would be perfect.

Yeah, I need more stat. Really well done. It only gets up to the snowball is the end of the second episode, so there's still a lot left.

How many episodes are there?

Ten.

So they haven't even won a Super bowl in the first two episodes?

No.

That's pretty crazy.

Yeah.

And like I said, I was nine. My first beginning montage was really good, and I was like, holy. First it hurt a little bit because I realized I was like, damn, this is just history now. This was my life. This is what I lived every day. Being like, oh, this is the best team in the world. During that montage was like, oh, this is over. We're watching a documentary. This is all the.

Actually, I was thinking about this. Let me actually do an ad real quick that works perfectly for this. If you're looking to go to a football game next year, or maybe you're going to college basketball, you're going to NBA, you're going to NHL. Game time has you the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You shouldn't have to worry when you're buying tickets to your next big event. Game time is a fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. Last minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals. I've used it for everything. You can see your seat beforehand. If for some reason something happens to your ticket, they will make sure that you have a ticket in the exact same area. That happened to me for a Cubs game, game time took care of me. Game time has deals on tickets right up to the start of the event. And even an hour after it starts, it's the place to find last minute seats, find exclusive flash deals and sponsored deals on tickets for football, basketball, baseball, concerts, comedy, theater, and more with zone deals you pick the section and game time picks the seats for an average of 18% savings.

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That's not that many.

I was thinking about it, like, if they go, say the Patriots went to the playoffs in two years, and everyone's like, well, it's the Patriots. They're in their playoffs. Like, wait, but none of these guys have been there for that. Yeah, it can't be a bunch linemen and.

Yeah, like special teamers.

Yeah, because they also cut a couple of guys. And I was like, I wonder what the longest tenured patriot is right now.

Yeah, probably under ten. I mean, David Andrews. That's what I'm saying. Lineman memes, credit linemen probably, definitely do. I would say it's under ten.

Yeah, that's crazy to think. And they released their whole coaching staff, and it was like all brand new faces.

This documentary is one of the first times, maybe the first time that I've watched a documentary about something where I remember every single minute of all this stuff happening. I remember when Tom Brady came in for Drew Bledsoe and Lin sanity. Lin sanity.

Yeah.

No, I know.

You mean this is the first one where I watch the clothes and technology that people are using during the footage, and I'm like, holy shit, that feels like. It looks like that's the 80s. Yeah, like 1999 in terms of the big ass, baggy white shirts and the jeans that they were wearing, the giant cack.

They also had a hilarious clip of the sports reporter show. Yeah, like, Bob Ryan was in it. And I don't know, Lupica and a couple other guys where they're just an oversized suit and they're just sitting on a stage.

Costa. And that was the show Sunday morning before.

It was just a hilarious. I remember the show vaguely, but just watching it now, being like, oh, this was like, they want to bring that show. You want to get hot? Takes off. Just put four old guys in chairs.

On an NFL matchup was also in that early Sunday morning.

Just four guys that are just, like, sitting in newsrooms, just pissed off at the world.

Yeah.

Let him go free.

There was some old vintage Collinsworth clips where he was saying, like, I don't think this is the right move to bench Bledsoe. I don't know about this kid Brady. And Collinsworth had a little bit less hair in the year 2000, which is interesting.

Interesting.

Yeah.

I sent you guys the chart of how the Patriots were built via the Patriots game notes. So, aside from Slater, no one's been on the team prior to 2015.

Yeah, but they won three Super Bowls or two Super Bowls, right?

Joe Cardona, is he still on the team?

This was as of this year?

Yeah.

Lawrence guy, he just got cut.

Yeah.

So that was what it was. It wasn't Slater. He got cut, and they were like. He was on the team for seven. Like, huh. I wonder at what point you get to, like, no one left. Okay, Hank, you only a. There's only, like, six, right? Very few. Yeah, very few. Okay, ready, Hank?

Yeah.

You starting at ten or 110?

You want me to start ten?

I want you start at six. Go six to 110. Nine, eight, seven.

All right, number six. A lot of the defense I took from the early dynasty.

Okay.

But this one guy, two Super Bowls, you wouldn't have won without him. He stopped Marshawn lynch on the 1 yd line, basically arm tackled the guy, then took him down.

Wow.

And he forced a fumble against the Falcons. Malcolm Butler, Dante Hightower.

Oh, whoops.

Two plays were like, when you're watching him, you're like, we need a miracle.

He's the guy.

He's the Guy.

Number six.

Number six.

Wow.

Pretty high.

Can't wait to see who's 5432.

Should we debut this, like, one by one? Should we just do number six? Tune in on Friday?

Yeah.

Okay.

Number five will be on Friday.

Good start.

Good start, Hank. Number six. Make a big thread out of it. That was huge.

Yeah, but then people are going to.

Get in my head.

But no, you have your list.

Have it locked in, send it to.

Jake, and he'll make sure it stays locked in. Tune in Friday.

We get number five saying about the Netflix thing. One thing, and people are going to be pissed.

This is how you do offseason sports radio.

Yeah.

Okay. You drag everything out for as long as this is going to be a month long. Hank's top ten patriots extreme.

And we're going to find out one. Like, we're going to find out one and still have to do ten.

Nine.

Eight, seven.

Wait, who do you think number one is? Big cat.

Okay, that was six.

I'm very interested to see who number two is.

Well, you sent me twelve.

Oh, yeah.

Well, one's an honorable mention and one's the White House. I'll spoiler. Okay, but that one doesn't really.

The new one. Yeah, that hasn't won.

Shit.

We should have started with our honorable mentions.

I only have one on the list.

What's your honorable mention? On Friday, we'll debut Dante Hightower.

He's just my favorite player as a kid. Bethel Johnson.

Kicker. Turner. Okay.

Electric.

Okay.

All right, so five on Friday.

Five on Friday.

All right.

Defense.

Oh.

Teddy Brusky?

No.

Mike Rable?

No.

Vince Wilfrick?

No.

Dale Reevis?

No.

Albert Hainsworth?

No.

Malcolm Butler?

No.

Richard Seymour?

Nope.

Willie McGinnis.

Nope.

Jared Mayo.

Nope. He's been in Chris Long.

Both episodes I haven't watched yet.

He's been in both episodes.

Owns property.

Owns property. I think that's probably all.

Oh, Ty law.

Yeah.

No, but we don't know.

We don't know.

We don't know who it is. It's number five. Make them tune in. It's four. Offense.

Yep.

Oh, that's got to be Jules.

Receiver and recurring guest of the show.

It's got to be Jules.

Corduroy Patterson.

Dante Stalwarth.

So gronks two or three.

He's got to be three. And then Brady's got to be two.

No, braised one.

Braised one. Bills two.

Are these old players?

No players.

Only players.

Only players. Only players.

Okay.

He wouldn't do Vrabel two.

Oh, no.

Vince, wolfwork two. Gronk three. Brady one.

I think Gronk's probably two. Brady one.

You guys both have one of those things?

Okay.

All right, well, Friday for number five, did you.

Vince, wolfwork, seven through ten.

Yeah.

Wow.

I can't wait till we do the only one, too. All right, the big thing that you had to factor in, though, is, like.

Tell it, don't spoil it.

No, but my grading system isn't based purely on stats. Rings is a major factor. Vibes is a major factor. There's so many guys that won three Super Bowls, I wouldn't credit them.

But Randy vibes guy, could we get a breakdown? So on Friday, when we do number, like, I would like in the balls scale one through five. Like, give us rings, give us vibes. X Factor.

Will fork is the only person to win in both dynasties, besides Brady, obviously, but that's a huge.

It's a big can't.

He won. And then he suffered through the bad years, which they were good years.

They just went Super bowl.

But he came out the other side.

Can you imagine the anticipation after Hank debuts his number eight patriot? And then we have to wait two more days to get the final and last number seven.

Yeah.

It's going to be crazy. All right.

A lot of great players.

Yeah.

Let's do hot seat cool throne. Then we'll get to our interview with Keith Yandel. Hot seat Cool Throne is presented by Coors Light. From day to day annoyances to the big stuff life throws your way, it's easy to get worked up. But there's a better way, a chiller way. Turn that canceled concert into a parking lot dance party. Too cold for an ocean swim. Play volleyball and light a bonfire instead. That's choosing chill. And when you choose chill, reach for a Coors light. When the mountains turn blue, it's as cold as the Rockies. When you choose to rise above it all, choose chill. Choose Coors light. Get Coors light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to celebrate responsibly. Coors brewing company, Golden, Colorado, coorslite.com take thank you to Coors Light, the coldest and best beer in the world.

Hank, my hot seat is Anthony Rendone. Yeah, people are big mad. I feel like athletes say this exact quote all the time, though.

Yes.

Like, read it. It does seem like something that's getting a little bit over exaggerated. But he said, baseball has never been a top priority for me. This is a job. I do this to make a living. My faith, my family come first before this job. So if those things come before it, I'm leaving and people are freaking out. He's got a $245,000,000 contract.

Makes a lot of money.

Makes a lot of money, doesn't play a lot. He also complained earlier in the offseason about wanting the season to be shorter, which is another thing most people want.

Yeah.

But I do feel like all players across the board, it's like a stereotypical answer. Be like, my family comes first no matter what.

I agree with that. I think the other problem he runs into, not just the money, is that he plays for the Angels. And that's like the vibe of the Angels. The Angels, as an organization, baseball is not their top priority.

It used to be that way with the Padres, too.

Right?

But, yeah, I think a lot of players feel this way, but you probably shouldn't say it, like, right before the.

Season starts and after you're getting paid that much more.

Yeah.

You never had that problem with him in DC. Great player.

Yeah.

It also kept on going. He said, the reporter said, is it a priority? He said, oh, it's a priority for sure, because it's my job. I'm here, aren't I? Do you want to be here? I don't want to talk to you guys. Seven in the morning, or whatever time it is. That fair?

Ruled.

It's relatable.

Yeah.

So I think maybe that part where he's like, I'm here.

He might have gotten bad vibes from the reporter.

True.

And just was giving him the most boring, easy answers ever.

You don't talk about that enough. Bad vibes from reporter. That's what that guy who went after Jameis for scoring that touchdown.

Yeah.

Bad vibes.

Bad vibes.

Okay.

Your cool throne.

My cool throne. Dungeons and dragons. Yeah, we mentioned it, but Sunday or Monday? Hungover from Sunday.

Were you hungover from Sunday or were you hungover from the things you did on Sunday?

You were already hungover. No, you were drunk on Sunday.

Yeah.

So I was hungover yesterday. Got back, watched the dungeons and dragons. I was like, this is amazing. I hadn't seen it yet. The graphics are so good. And I feel like because it was kind of during a break, we should give those guys their proper credit.

Yeah.

Shout out, Trey.

Worth the watch.

They were incredible.

Yeah.

I watched a good deal of it on Friday when it came out. I don't know how they do what they do. It's worth the watch. Go watch it. Thank you to Tim woods, our champion. We'll probably do another one in, I don't know, four or five months when we get to July 4. So it was great to have him just around for a day. I wish we could just hire him to just be a vibes guy.

Yeah.

Just have a game room with Tim woods.

Yeah.

We should go larping with him.

Yeah.

All right. We'll do that for July 4 as well.

Yes.

We have to do it. We have to do it.

Do, like, a two day long lorp. It would be awesome.

Yeah.

Get dressed up.

Horses just battle people.

It sounds awesome.

Look at us. Planning our next vacation, but also planning our next content for vacation.

Love that. My other hats. I mean, embrace debate. I was getting shit. These new hats are on sale, and Gaz was saying I can't wear them because it's Chicago.

Like, Chicago.

Barstool Chicago. Barstool.

Yeah.

Barstool Chicago.

Yeah.

Yeah, those are good.

Yeah.

We have all of our St. Patty's day merch. Check it out. Go buy it.

But now I live in Chicago. I can wear hats.

We also did our St. Patty's Day merch. Very mean. We just used Mook's face. Who's one of our. It's just. It could be any irish guy. He's like, this is Mooc Leprechaun.

Oh, have you guys seen the irish baby?

No.

Went viral yesterday.

No.

You guys got to check out. Just look on twitter. Search irish baby.

Okay.

It's this irish baby that's holding a Guinness, and it looks like 79 year old.

Oh, yeah.

The irish baby rocks.

This guy's got some stories to tell.

That irish baby could drink me under the table.

Yeah, babe, wake up. The most irish baby just dropped.

Yeah, it's very irish baby. Love it. My hot seat. Hank, are you done?

Yep.

My hot seat is Rick Patino. Rick Patino is back, baby. He's back giving some serious quotes, and he dropped some heat a couple days ago. He said, we are so unathletic. We can't guard anybody without fouling. For me, I've always enjoyed the first year, and I'm not going to lie to you. This is the most unenjoyable experience of my lifetime. And he's got some pretty unenjoyable experiences.

Yes.

And also some really enjoyable ones, although brief.

Yes.

This has been so disappointing. Look, Joel's slow laterally. He's not fast on the court. Chris Ledlum is slow laterally. Sean Conway is slow laterally. Brady's physically weak. Drissa is slow laterally. And then he started talking shit about the team facilities.

I mean, they did blow, like, a 20 point lead. Just pug seat and hall. Yeah, I also saw, because he clearly made the guys run a shitload in the gym after he said, finally broke 200 in stamina shooting tonight. Nah. Aleen with 205. Sean Conway comes close to 190. We got to get this drill and do a challenge and see if we.

Get better at stamina shooting.

Yeah. Can we break 200 stamina. It's got to be an insanely hard drill.

If there's two words that come to mind when I think of Rick Patino, it's definitely stamina shooting.

Yeah, he walked into that one.

Yeah.

Come on, Rick. I slipped on it. My cool throne is the Orlando airport. Oh, the Orlando airport. On the big time cool throne. They're now selling passes for people to go inside the airport, shop, and dine Chili's without getting on a plane.

Chili's is pre security Chili's.

Yeah.

Okay, so you can Chili's already pre security.

Oh, got it.

Okay.

Well, that's still awesome.

But it's still awesome. It's still that you can go to the airport and eat the finest food.

Yeah.

That's not awesome.

That could be awesome.

Wait, the best part about the airport and don't go anywhere.

The best part. Well, we could be. I'm going to predict that we're going to see an uptick in airport related violence. Because the one thing that airports have going for them right now is you can talk all the shit that you want in an airport bar and nobody's got a weapon. You know that. No one's got a gun. No one's got a knife there. Now we're going to see some stabbings in airports which America is long overdue for.

Imagine being late for your flight and in TSa, there's a guy in front of you that just wants to go walk around the airport.

Yeah.

Drive you.

I don't think those guys have to go through TSA.

Oh, they don't?

I don't think so. I don't know how it's going to work.

Yeah.

But, yeah, that would still would probably have got.

I got random check twice on the way home from Mexico.

Yeah, the id check.

Yeah.

Didn't have anything. I always feel disappointed for the person when they're checking your bag and you're like, I don't have anything. Yeah, I kind of wish I had something for you.

They know that you don't have anything, right?

Like, it'd be cool if you pulled out like a long knife or something.

Oh, shit, I forgot this in my.

Yeah, right. But I'm just like, sitting there like, you're going to be disappointed. There's nothing.

I got groped on my way back. Big time groped. Going through security, girl. It was a guy. It has to be a guy.

Yeah.

So you go through this scanner, and then it shot off the alerts right on my dick and then right on my butt. And the guy looked at it. He looked at me, and he was like, I'm going to have to give you an extended pat down now. And he explained what was going to happen, and then he did it. And they really press like, it was very awkward being around all these other people. The guy's just like, ramming his hand into your dick repeatedly. Yeah, that was tough. That was a tough move. I wish that I had something that I was packing that could be like, oh, shit, yeah, that's my gun. But no, he was just pressing my balls.

You know who I saw who's right behind me in security coming back from Mexico, your guy, Michael Porter Jr. Oh, really? I had already burned my. You want to come on our podcast for the month? So I didn't say anything.

You didn't say.

I did. I'm still a little gun. I think you get one of those a month.

Yeah.

If you had like a Mark Davis.

If you had a microphone in your backpack, you could have been like, oh, yeah, they found my microphone. I forgot to take that out because I do a podcast.

Podcast.

Michael Porter Jr. If you're interested. New media, that's going to kind of.

Suck, though, because no one really recognized, like, I don't know, just tall. You're an NBA champion. I feel like you want to get.

Recognized a little, maybe, yeah. Have you ever been to the Knoxville airport?

No.

So that one is.

Yes.

That TSA line is impressive.

Yes, I have.

Because they've got, as you're winding through the ropes, they've got all these pictures of guns that they've confiscated from people flying out of that airport. And I was like, this is a fuck load of guns. There were like ten pictures there. And then I looked closer and every single gun had been confiscated within, like, the last two months.

Whoa.

They find a lot of guns at that airport.

You just forget your gun.

Have you guys noticed the precheck and clear lines being longer than regular?

Yeah, I went to regular this morning. No, clear plus is coming.

Yeah, it's already here.

I have both.

No plus plus.

No, it's already here. Clear plus.

Clear plus.

Plus.

Well, whatever they're going to do, they're setting it up so that they're going to make you buy another.

What I noticed they rebranded clear as now clear plus. And you get confused when you go to the airport. It's like, I don't know if I have clear plus, but that means that there's another level.

Yeah, that implies they're intentionally making it harder for TSA and clear so that we are going to buy a new one.

You have to.

Yeah, it's not really valuable anymore.

Savvy by them. Savvy by them. Okay, so my hot seat is the Chicago Cubs because we are on day, I believe, 143 with Cody Bellinger not being signed. And he is still a free agent. They had pitchers and catchers. We're getting to the point. I really, really want the Cubs to sign him. We're getting to the point. This is my favorite part of free agency, where we have radio hosts offering free things. So David Kaplan, friend of mine, he said that Lou Melnatti's wife has offered free pizza for life for Cody Bellinger. If he signs.

Is that code like Hillary Clinton QAnon.

Shit, free pizza for life. I am here right now because I want Cody Bellinger to be a cub. I'm going to offer something that I never thought I would offer, and I'm nervous about this because I don't think you'll agree, but I'm going to do it. Cody Bellinger, because you're listening to this show. If you sign with the Chicago Cubs, I will send you Hank's Patriot list, five through ten, 54321.

How are you going to get it, Jake?

And you know what?

Ha.

You idiot. You sent it to Jake already.

You know what?

I'm going to match.

Yeah.

I'll send them five through one. Will you send them ten through 710 through seven?

Plus honorable mention. Plus you get a bonus lighthouse.

Yeah.

You won't have to wait any longer. Cody. Please sign with Cubs.

So it's Cody Blake. Snell still hasn't signed. There are a few other guys, like, big names that haven't signed yet. I don't know what's. Why not?

Why not, Cody, you can also use our golf simulator anytime.

To be fair, the owners are poor and they don't have enough money to pay.

Yeah.

Tom Rickett's broke boy.

Yeah.

I think they're all Boris guys, too.

No, they are. Yeah, I know. Cody's the Boris guy, and I think that's what's really holding this is.

This is the C word.

Then I like you, Tom Rickets. If you pay for this, is.

This would be collusion against Scott Boris.

Or Scott Boris is colluding against them to then claim counter colluding.

So Scott Boris is asking for so much money that he can then say they're colluding against me, and then he can file a lawsuit against them.

What if Scott Boris isn't even answering the phone and he's like, they're blackballing you. We're going to take him to court.

Scott Boris might be texting owners, and the owners are just so untext savvy that they don't look at their phones. Yeah, I don't know how to do the email on the phone. Just call me.

I think Scott Boris probably playing it right because all these guys are going to like, once the season starts. Would we rather have Cody Bellinger or not? Yeah, I think we would.

There's a lot of good players out there.

Yeah.

They should actually just do this every year. Boris should just make his own team. Boris all stars.

Yeah.

Well, then he'd have to pay them.

True.

But then he gets a 10% cut, so it's really discount.

That's true. That's true.

All right.

My cool throne is Sydney Sweeney's boobs.

Oh, why?

That picture of her in the red dress, which I was getting shamed for, like, come on, guys. The day you stop liking tits, kill me, I think. And I die.

I'm going to say something controversial.

Yeah.

I think Sidney Sweeney's very attractive.

Yeah, she's in her boobs.

I think she's a wonderful looking actress hosting SNL.

What's with guys snitching? Dry snitching. Online now.

Oh, yeah. Welcome my world. Yeah.

Bullshit.

Yeah.

I can't. Like, a Miley Cyrus series of pictures from the Grammy awards.

Well, this is why the bonk list.

No, I think we need to embrace the bonk.

Yeah.

Like, if you're not getting bonked, then there's something wrong with you. I'm a red blooded american male, okay?

People trying to shame me age shame me. Kids shame me. I like shame me. Boobs are boobs.

I hit, like, on tweets and on pictures on Instagram. Not because I'm horny, but because I'm trying to support them.

Yeah.

And to be like, hey, great job posting this picture.

Also, Sydney, sweetie is, like, the most famous person right now. It's not like a random porn star.

True.

What? What's that? Heck.

What? It's not.

Listen, I am with you. Dry snitching shouldn't be happening because of the bonk list. I get sent a lot of big cats likes on Instagram, and there's a lot of randoms. Put it that way.

Not that many. Also rip Cagney. Lyn Carter, porn star. She died. Why don't we do highlight tapes after?

She could be cremated.

No, but saying, like, when Kobe died, all we saw was, like, highlights of Kobe.

Yeah.

Mamba mentality.

Right?

Porn stars don't deserve that.

They should. Yeah, they should.

Just saying. Right?

It'd be a long day without you.

Yeah.

Sydney Sweeney's hot. There, I said it. She's really hot. I think she's very attractive.

I think she's very talented.

Very talented.

I think that we should do a better job.

Is the one. Is the one where she wears, like, a nun uniform the whole time?

I think it's a Spiderman movie.

Oh, isn't there one that just came out where she wears, like, a nun uniform all time? Yeah, I don't think I'm going to see that one?

I'd watch her wearing none nun clothes.

Take that out. That.

It's too horny.

It's called immaculate.

Immaculate in theaters March 22. No, she is a very good actor. I mean, listen, euphoria. What was the white Lotus? When's that coming back?

Yeah, white Lotus needs to be back.

White Lotus is awesome.

But don't make us wait in between episodes.

Yeah, okay. I think they released what the hotel was. Oh, they.

Yeah, yeah.

Somewhere like. What do you think about Sydney Sweeney's boobs?

Yeah.

Okay. All right. Nice. There's Jake's review. It's Mr.

Position.

That's a yeah.

Hey, Max, what do you think about them?

Yeah, you're out. No, I like them.

Yeah?

How much do you like them?

They're nice boobs.

For a while we were shaming women for their breast size. I think Hank was talking about Madame Webb by the.

Spiderman.

I'm not in every movie. She's a hard worker. Incredibly hard work.

Three movies in the past three months.

Yeah, she's incredibly hardworking. Jake, your hot seat.

Cool throw.

My hot seat is Notre Dame. We had the official announcement of how the college Football playoff is going to construct their twelve team bracket. And it was announced that the four highest ranked conference champions will be seeds one through four, which means if Notre Dame is the best team in the country.

I thought it was five.

They'll get the number five.

I think it's five. Yeah, five seats. So Notre Dame, they would get the buy. That would be very funny if they just designed these rules and they're like, yeah, fuck you, Florida State. Again. We're going to take all the other conferences, but, yeah, Notre Dame.

Well, there's only four left pager.

Yeah, Notre Dame. Are they going to have to join the ACC?

I think they would join the Big.

Ten before the ACC.

So they take all their other sports out of the ACC.

Yeah, because I don't think the ACC is long for this world. Yeah, it would be crazy if they joined the ACC.

So that'd be wild, though. If they joined the Big Ten, then you'd have like, notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio State. Only one of them would get the top seed.

Correct?

Yeah, wild.

This is a good way to do it.

Thank God.

I'm surprised you didn't put Justin fields on the bears on your hockey.

Oh, yeah. Well, Jake, funny you say that. He unfollowed the Bears, you know, he didn't unfollow me. Sick.

Yeah.

I didn't know Tom Frenelli actually told me that.

That was my other thing, watching the dynasty documentary.

Oh, that wasn't about the Patriots. Well, no, I'm wondering.

It was good that Brady had time to develop. He wasn't, you know, even that was his second year in the league. If you have a rookie quarterback with a lot of pressure, it's an incredible. I was thinking about you when I was watching that documentary being like, damn, Justin Fields.

I really wish we could somehow take events that happened in the past, bring them to modern day, and know what the discourse would be around them. It's like the Tom Brady game manager Super bowl winning discourse would be so fun to.

Oh, they threw that line in, too. And like, tom Brady is doing a really good job managing this game in.

One of the game people have been going crazy for.

But, yeah, that's a good point about the Bears, Hank.

Yeah.

Justin Fields did unfollow the think it's. I think he's probably going to get, like I said, I mean, it could mean literally anything.

So it sounds like you're going to get Caleb.

Yeah, it could mean anything. Like, he doesn't want to play for the Bears anymore. That could be one of the things. Or he hates the Bears. It's the most all of these things.

I think this is my least favorite recurring storyline in sports. When an athlete unfollows his teammates and the team official account on social media platforms, and then people do it in a story, and it's like, what does it mean? Well, it means that he did that because he wanted you to see that he did that and then to make a story out of it.

Also, maybe it's just as simple as Justin Fields doesn't want to watch Bears highlights in his offseason because there's not a lot of them. Yeah, that's just. I kind of want to opt out on this content for.

The content was bad.

You could mute it, and it wouldn't be a story.

You could mute it.

I would never unfollow any professional team that I played for once. Always. Who unfollows people on social media? Like, if I follow you on instagram, I'm never unfollowing. Ever.

Ever.

I'm too lazy to do.

Even if you are a porn star and die. Yeah, I'll keep that respect.

Because what if one day it posts again?

Right?

That's got to be such a nice surprise.

Yeah.

All right, Jake, your cool throne.

My cool thrones. The shot of a lifetime. Oh, I'm back in the booth. Jake is for some golf.

Nice.

Next week on PGA Tour Live.

Wow. Hell, yes.

I'll be doing a couple of events with them this season. First up, the cognizant classic and the Palm Beaches. We've got a great field that have committed so far. Rory, Ricky, Matthew Fitzpatrick, who's been on the show.

No, Max.

I don't think we're going to get Max.

Fuck.

Yeah.

But he probably has diarrhea butt from last week from a lot of in N Out. Was it the in n out that gave people the shits? Is that what was happening?

They were claiming for Tiger. Also, you didn't eat in n out in Vegas. Tank, you've changed. Oh, you did.

Me and Jerry went after the draftking.

Oh, yeah.

So tune.

Yeah. Come on.

I was with you.

Yeah, I was worried that you didn't. That's awesome, Jake. Everyone tune in.

Thank you.

It did give me shits.

Oh, no.

Yeah, so I only had that going around. Who else is on the call?

Jake?

TBD.

Also shout out the water dogs. Finishing second. Good job, Mac. You fucking loser.

You said you wanted to lose. Let's go, Philly.

Yeah, well, things change. It's called material change. No, it's called fluidity.

I think it's perfect.

Yeah, no, I didn't want to win that. I did not want to win that. It was fake. Let's win the real thing. Right?

It's preseason. What are the Ravens. No, we want to win the Ravens.

This is basically the equivalent of the in season tournament.

Don't want to win that either.

Still hang a banner.

No.

And it means something.

No, it does not. But it does not mean anything when you win the in season tournament.

Oh, yeah.

Max does have to hang a banner. Second place.

Yeah.

No, we agreed upon that, Max. I never agreed on anything. We agreed on it. You agreed on it. I did agree on it. You agreed on it. Hang the banner.

Hang the banner. Hang the banner, bitch. Okay, let's get to our interview with Keith the endel. Great interview. Talking hockey. Before we do that, pft, you got a quick word from one of our sponsors.

Yeah.

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Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend. Recurring guest it is Keith Yandel. Many year hockey pro. How many years? 1313 year hockey pro in the NHL, 1616 years. So Yan's. I want to give Yan's credit off the bat. It's the perfect spitting chiclets universe. Okay, down to you. You come in at the end here. Biz was supposed to come on. He was feeling under the weather because he had to work two days in a was like. He texted me this morning. He's like, hey, I can't do it. I'm feeling sick. So I texted Witt. Witt's on a boat in Florida. And he's like, right after the boat, I'm going to golf. And he's like, but Jan's is the best. I was like, yeah, I know. Yan's is the best. So I texted you, and you came to our rescue, but you also gave me a little nugget of information that you have never in your life owned a computer.

Yeah, never have, never will. I think it's the most civilian thing you can ever do.

So what are you doing this on right now?

His wife's computer.

My wife's.

What does that mean? You've never owned a computer. You've never wanted to own a computer?

No. Zero interest until I have to. Real job.

That's your computer, though. Like, if it's your wife's computer, that's a family computer, right?

No, it's like her work laptop.

So us calling you up, she's got to take a break from work right now because you got to use the one computer in your house.

Well, the kids have them too, but I think they're at school with them. I was on a boat and golf this morning, but still found a way to make this show.

That's a grinder. That's a hockey player. What about growing up? Like, growing up, you didn't have a computer for book reports, things like that?

No.

Did you guys have computer? Actually, we got one when I got drafted. It was like. Because the year I got drafted was the lockout year, so they did it all online and my parents went out and bought a computer to see where I was going to get drafted.

Yeah, we are all of similar age. And I remember we got our first computer in my house. It was like late, late ninety s, and it was just one computer for everyone. So when you start looking porn, you're like, oh, this is going to be bad. You get a virus. You're like, fuck the next person. Like, my mom's going to look up a recipe on this computer and there's going to be pop ups everywhere. You had to go through some shit with the one family computer.

Oh, yeah, it was a grind. Downloading on Napster, just hearing your dad coming up the stairs trying to delete things, it wasn't good.

So wait, when you were on the road for 16 years in the NHL, you never were like, hey, maybe I should get a computer. Like, what did you do when you were on planes? Like, watch a movie? You just don't have a computer?

Well, when it first started, it was, remember everyone had those dvd players that you flip up and then everyone would buy their own dvd player and then there'd be a ton of dvds on the plane. So I'd just bring that. I have an iPad.

Okay, that's computer adjacent.

Does the iPad have the keyboard that connects to it?

No.

God, no. I can't even type. I love it because I fall asleep to my iPad. I have it on the desk next to my bed and I strictly have it for that. I have Netflix, Amazon, HBO, whatever, just on that, just to watch before bed.

We got to get a typing contest between you and Biz because even though biz owns, I'm assuming he's owned several computers in his lifetime. I think you could still beat him.

Yeah. His buttons are probably all stuck together, though.

That's facts from the flu. All right, so we wanted Yan's on to talk a little hockey. So we're now getting to the end of February. We're getting, what, a month and a half away from playoff hockey. My first question was, what is the dog days of hockey? What part of the season? Because we know it know, football season, you'll get to midseason and you'll see some guys hitting the wall. Baseball, you get to like mid, early, mid August, and it's like, oh, man, this is a grind. What is that in the calendar for hockey players?

I think they've gotten a lot better with it, especially my first, maybe 710 years that it was just a grind. Especially. We were on some bad teams in Phoenix, and guys are getting traded. Guys are hearing about getting traded. So there's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes where you're like, oh, know, every day is just kind of like, and that was before the old. Nowadays you get four days off a month. That was before that. So you were practicing every day if your team was bad. But nowadays it seems like the teams are well aware of that and they're putting together whether it's family trips, mother trips, father trips, siblings trips. I think they're doing a lot of good things like that. But I remember a couple times in know, we'd go to Vegas for a couple days, kind of have a team bonding, play some golf, hit the know. New York was really good with it as well. If you had a couple games where you're in strictly cold weather, we'd come down to Florida a couple days early to golf or whatever. So I think the league, the teams have done a really good job, and it's probably because a lot of gms are ex players now, so they kind of realize that those dog days are real.

But I think the majority of the thing is keeping it. The best thing was to have a rookie party around this time, but if your team's out of it, then the coach is like, all right, we can't go too hard. You guys are playing like shit. And then if you're at the top of the ranks, then you're like, all right, we don't want to go too hard. We don't want to take our foot off the medal here. So there's kind of a little bit of a gray area in both, but it seems to me the last probably ten years, the league has gotten really good about kind of taking care of these dog days and making things light and easy for the guys.

Yeah, you were talking about the rookies. The guy on the bruins that made his debut yesterday. Is it Morelli?

Yeah.

So he scored in his debut. And I was watching it, I thought to myself, I feel like there's a lot of rookies who score in their debut. Is that a thing I'm making up or is that an actual thing in the NHL?

It does seem a little bit more nowadays. Before it was, I think my first game, I probably played seven minutes. But nowadays they're throwing guys into the fire, getting guys right into it, playing on the top lines, not really putting guys on fourth lines where they aren't getting chances. So I think they're setting guys up for success. But, yeah, it definitely seems that way. And how about the kid in New York playing his first game, the outdoor game, fought 1st, second of the game. I think it was on the anniversary of his dad passing away like six years before that, too. So that was a cool story as.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, hockey always has those cool stories that pop up. I wanted to go back when, you know, you played on some bad teams. How much does this part of the season suck if you're a bad team? Because I know, like, the Blackhawks are a very bad team. Conor Berdada obviously just came back, which is good, but are guys like, this just fucking sucks. I want to get out of here so bad.

Yeah.

You see a lot of guys either planning to go play world championships or planning their summer vacation right after the season. So it's tough. And then the worst part is if your team's bad, then at the end of the day, it means people are going to get traded and you're losing friends. You got to pack up your family and move. So a lot of things like that. And then teams are bringing up guys from the minors, then you're worried about your job. So there's no real downtime. If your team's playing bad, you still got to produce and go out there and give 100% effort. But there's definitely some times during the season where you're like, oh, man, we're really doing this again.

I can imagine.

Yeah.

Especially, like, around this time of year where if there's no real light at the end of the tunnel, you're just like, I guess I got to be a pro. I guess I have to show that I'm professional.

Yeah.

You're waiting for the 15th and 30th payday.

Yeah, pretty good.

We have this debate with every hockey guest that we have on here. What is the difference between an upper and a lower body injury?

I think anything below the belly button is a lower body injury, and anything above the belly button is upper body injury.

Okay.

I agree with that because we've had people that say waist, and I think that's bullshit. I think it's the belly button.

All right, so we're on the same page.

Good call.

Did you ever get injured and you were like, can I just say what it is? This is bullshit. Because sometimes I'll see, like, an upper body injury, I'd be like, oh, he can get back out there. But, no, his shoulder is broken. Why don't they just say that?

Yeah, I don't know why. Because at the end of the day that the other teams know, you know, if a guy's shoulders hurt, the way he's lumbering around out there, or if his knees hurt, especially now with video, you see a guy going into the boards the wrong way, you're like, oh, he hurt his knee there or hurt his ankle or hurt his shoulder. So I think throughout the league, everyone kind of knows, but I don't know why they don't say it in the media, but it's kind of one of those cool things that hockey does where he keeps guys on the wrap. I think originally it started so if guys were up for a contract, then they couldn't use it against you.

Oh, I like that.

I always assume it was so that the other team wouldn't target you. If they knew it was a knee, then somebody might make a run at your knee.

Yeah, but everyone on the ice knows if you're hurt. I mean, by this time in the season, pretty much everybody's hurt anyways. You have some lingering bruises or you're not feeling 100%. So every single guy is feeling something right now. But, yeah, it's interesting. If they ever come out and go away with it and tell you what exactly the injury is, I'll be interested to see if they ever do that.

Was there ever a season or a guy who just wouldn't get injured? Because I feel like everyone knows that one guy who just know the kid who never broke any of his bones playing sports, know that one guy who just is, for some reason, never gets injured. Would you guys all look at him and be like, fuck you, dude. We're all dealing with something, and you're fresh.

Well, I had the Iron man streak until Phil Kessel broke it.

So you were the guy that everyone hated.

Probably, but I don't know because I didn't really play the type of game where I was putting myself in vulnerable spots. There was a lot of guys. I think every guy plays with as much pain as they can, and it's usually the doctors or the trainers that have to tell you, you can't go. I've never seen a guy go in and be like, hey, I can't play tonight. It's usually they have to drag you off the ice and notice you can'tie. Your skates because your fingers are broken or something like that. So it's usually the doctors or the GM and trainers that make that decision for guys, because hockey players are a stubborn bunch of group.

Yeah, we learned that.

Mighty Ducks. Yeah, they had Adam Banks hold the stick and he had to rotate, and they're like, no, you can't go, dude.

What was the dumbest injury you played through?

The dumbest one. Looking back when I was in New York, I had a grade three separation. I got a first game of the playoffs, and we ended up going to game seven of the Eastern Conference finals. So every day was shooting it or not? Every day. Every game I was shooting it up. Having to have the trainers help me put my jersey on, things like that. But it's during playoffs, so you just want to be out there, you want to be playing, you want to be contributing. But that one was probably the worst one, and getting back healthy from that one took a little bit longer because it was something I was dealing with for quite a bit.

Yeah, I know that you're a sports fan. You're balls deep in the discourse about other sports, too. We've had some discussions about how analytics might be ruining or might be improving football, basketball. Ruining basketball. I think improving, but also ruining football because big guys can't get NFL head coaching jobs anymore. But in the NHL. What impact has the analytics revolution had on the sport? Is it good or is it bad?

I hate it. I know nothing.

Too many computers. Guy who doesn't know computer, that's a shocker.

I probably wasn't a great analytic guy either, but it also doesn't contribute to the good times in the locker room or on the road. So you're not getting that in the analytics. But, yeah, I was never a big fan. I think there's some good things about it, I guess. But I honestly couldn't even tell you what an analytic really is.

I love it. If you walked past an analytic on the street, you would not recognize it.

Absolutely not. They have whole team, like a whole group of people within the teams now that kind of take care of that. And they're literally just in their computers all day. Just go get real job.

The one thing that analytics has done in hockey is it's ruined the shoot the puck guy in the stands, because I feel like teams are a lot more selective with their shots. They won't shoot from bad angles like they used to, where it's like, pucks on net. It's like, no, you got to get the good shots.

I don't know. I kind of disagree with that because I remember, guys, would you take a shot on net is considered a good thing for your analytics, like the zone time and stuff like that. So some guys would shoot it from the corner just to shoot it on the net, and you'd get back to the bench. Guys would be like, oh, what are you patting your fucking analytics?

So maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, maybe. I don't know an analytic in hockey, either.

Yeah, but the shoot guy is the worst thing you can have at a hockey game, especially as a guy that, I wasn't a big shooter. I was more of a passer. But the shoot guy is the worst.

Oh, I love the shoot the puck guy because that guy's sitting in the stands being like, every shot in his head goes in. So I was like, why not shoot the puck?

Good things happen.

Yeah, I'm big on it in soccer, too. Like, why not just fucking shoot the ball?

They should shoot more.

I agree.

Shoot the ball. Just fucking kick it. All right, so I know it's tough in hockey, because hockey is the one playoffs where you get crazy runs. You get eight seeds winning the Stanley cup. But if we're sitting right here, right now, give me the list of teams that you could see winning the Stanley cup this year. It could go as long or as short as you wanted to.

All right, I'll just do two. I'll do two from the east, two from the west. I'm going to do Florida. I think that especially what they did last year, what they've done this year, even missing two of their best defensemen earlier in the year. Just playing the way that they have. I think Bobrrowski has been amazing. Barkov. Sam Reinhardt's got 30 something goals. Just a hard team to play against. You watch their games, and it's fucking old school hockey. Like, stop in front of the net, cross checking guys in the face. It's great. So I got them. And the Rangers coming out of the east that I like both. I think the Rangers have a ton of depth up front. Goaltending has know. I think Jonathan quick has been amazing for them. I think Shasturkin could be a little better, but it's one of those things when you get into playoffs and you have a guy like Shasterkin who's as good as he is, if he goes on a run, could be game over for them and then out west. I really like Dallas. I like them a lot last year, too, with Ottinger. I think he's one of the best goalies in the league.

He's a young guy, had a good run last year, but I think he's just going to continue to get more confident in the playoffs. I think they have a great older guys and younger guys kind of leading that team. Guys with Jamie, Ben and then Robinson with the younger guys, Rupe, hence they're a fun team to watch. And then I think it's hard to bet against Vegas. But I think Colorado, the way that they're buzing this year, if they could get Landiscog back for playoffs, that would be a huge ad for them. But it's also too, a lot of these teams, I feel more and more the trade deadline used to be the top four teams are going out, making huge splashes. I think teams nowadays are kind of sticking with what they have gotten them there, kind of trusting within. So it'll be interesting to see the trade deadline, what teams are doing. But I think a lot of pieces are out there, too. Also Vancouver, too. Vancouver, what they've done this year, but I don't think Canada is going to win a Stanley cup anytime soon.

Yeah, the trade deadline being in March is pretty crazy.

It is wild.

Yeah.

Because that's very late. It feels like in the season where you're looking around and it's like you got, what, a month before the playoffs and you can still make a move.

Yeah. You see more and more, I think teams are making trades earlier rather than waiting to the trade deadline. There used to be 50 trades every trade deadline. Now there's not many. So I think teams are doing it earlier as opposed to late nowadays. We saw a big trade with Calgary and Vancouver right before the all star game, so I think teams are going a little bit more towards getting guys in, having them get comfortable in getting adjusted to the team system.

So you didn't say Connor McDavid and the Oilers. Whitney's told us that he's the greatest player to ever play any sport.

Yeah.

Wouldn't he have won a championship by now?

I know, but MJ won his first one at what, 26? Yeah, 27. How old is McJesus? I think he's younger than that, right?

Connor McDavid.

But he's better than MJ.

That's what, 27 years old is he?

20? So this is the year. I think their goaltending might hurt them a little bit. Obviously, the run that they've been on since the beginning of the season when they were absolute dog shit, they've been great. I think McDavid and Dre settle can lead any team to victory, but I think their goaltending is just not quite there. But you look at the last few Stanley cup winners besides Tampa with Vasilevsky. A lot of these teams, a goalie comes out of nowhere and helps them win. Vegas, I think, was on their third string goalie last year. Even St. Louis when Bennington came in out of nowhere and won them a know, even Chicago. And they had Crawford, who was an amazing goalie, but he wasn't a top three goalie in the league. He wasn't making the most money in the. I think. I think a lot of it. If your goalie gets hot, obviously you got a good chance. But I don't see it as much in Edmonton. If I had to take a canadian team, it would be Vancouver. And mostly because of their goaltending with Demco. He's amazing and american.

You haven't mentioned the Leafs. And it feels like every year I fall for the Leafs bullshit because they always have some bullshit where it's like, oh yeah, this is the year they could put together. They've got a lot of talent. Austin Matthews, probably like right now, the hottest player of the what? Give me a reason why the Leafs will not win the Stanley cup.

To be honest, I think it would strictly be because their fan base is too hard on them. Some of those teams, like I worked in Toronto last year doing Sportsnet and they have one bad period or one bad game, they're sell the know, blow up the team, get rid of everyone. I think Brad Tree living and Shane Doan, what they've done since getting in there in management have been really good. Just kind of settling things down, getting guys accountable. I think they look a lot better this year as a team. Obviously, what Austin Matthews is doing is insane right now. He's got 50 goals right in 54 games. It's unbelievable what this guy's doing with how good the goalies are, how much team scout players. Everyone is fully aware of what he can do to you every night, but no matter what, he can still find a way to score. But I just don't know if they can get past that hump. And win it this year. I actually would love to see them win it. I think it would be great for the. Well, I was up there a couple of weeks ago for all star weekend.

They put on an amazing show. But yeah, I think their fans just need to be a little bit nicer to the players.

I love that.

I love Eagles fans.

Definitely not an analytics guy. What's the reason that Leafs can't win the Stanley cup? Their fans are assholes.

They're too me. Yeah, it sounds like they're Eagles fans. Where it's like first sign of bad things. Like fire everyone.

Yeah, like Max.

Yeah, exactly like Max. By the way, Connor McDavid is incredible. I got to see him in person like three weeks ago, and it is insane watching him play in person because you're like, holy fuck. He's just so much faster than everyone. If you took someone to their first ever hockey game and it was Connor McDavid, they would immediately be like, that guy. Why is he so different than everyone else?

Yeah, I did a hockey camp this summer with my brother and we had some seven year olds, eight year olds, and we'd doing a scrimmage or keep away, and I was kind of just going full speed trying to keep it away from these guys. And it looks easier for McDavid keeping it away from NHL players than it did for me with seven year olds on a different level. It's unbelievable how fast he is, how controlled he is with the puck while he's skating 100 miles an hour. He's an impressive player, and I think wit saying that he's the best athlete ever is not far fetched. I think what he's doing to hockey is insane right now, and hopefully he can get a championship sometime.

Well, so, I mean, we asked wit this and we can ask you if he's the best player in the world right now. Why does he come off the ice?

Good question. Very good question.

Yeah.

How many minutes does LeBron play per night?

Yeah, Patrick Mahomes doesn't miss a snap.

A lot more.

I think just strictly because he's a good teammate, he wants to get his guys out there. He knows that there's 21 other guys that got to make a living, so he's probably just out there being a good teammate, just letting guys get a touch. But if anyone could play the whole game, it would probably be him. But actually, I was just away talking with one of my budies who knows nothing about hockey, and he was like, how come you guys only stay out there for 30 seconds? And it's a good question, but it's a tiring 30 seconds. You're getting leaned on by big, heavy guys. You're skating as fast as you can. If you stay out there for more than a minute, no matter how good a shape you are, you're dead.

Yeah. When you're in the defensive zone, what time is it? Like, this is. We're so fucked. Because there is nothing better in, like, playoff hockey, especially when a team can get. They're in the zone for so long and they can't clear the puck, and you're just, like, watching guys die. At what moment? What time in that? Where you're like, I'm so fucked. It's going to be a goal. There's nothing we can do.

Yeah, it's called the graveyard shift. You're just trying not to die. And biz says it all the time. He's like, you lose oxygen to your brain. You don't know what you're doing. The puck comes to you, give it to the other team. When. If you had some freshness in your legs or in your brain, you would make a good play. But when those are happening, when you're on the ice, when the team's snapping it around, you can't get out of the zone. You can't get a whistle. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. And my analytics are probably very high for being out there for those shifts.

What's the longest you've ever been on the ice?

I don't know. In the NHL, probably two or three minutes. Whether it's empty. I mean, there's probably obviously whistles and stuff like that. You know, end of games, when you're out there, if there's a power play, you're staying the full two minutes. But, yeah, probably two and a half, three minutes.

Oh, I.

Long ass time.

I'm looking right now. Last year, Jack Hughes broke the record. He had a shift of six minutes and 2 seconds.

Damn.

That's insane. That's insane.

That's unreal. Good for him.

Yeah.

I got a question for you. How come whenever the puck goes out of play, everybody on the ice just puts their hands up in the air and yells at the ref, like the.

Ref didn't see it for a penalty.

Oh, just delay a game.

No, they're trying to be like, hey, it went out.

Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question. Everyone does it. You're 100% right. It's probably just to make sure that because a lot of times it could get tipped by a stick or hit a piece of the glass, and if it hits the glass or a stick, then it's not a penalty. So I think when everyone's pointing, it's kind of just an indication to tell the ref that it went straight out and it should be a penalty.

I always assumed it's no different than when there's a fumble in football and everyone points to their direction. It's like no one actually knows. They're just trying to get the ref to be like, oh, yeah, he pointed first.

Yeah. When they're in the scrum.

Yeah, right. If you point first over the glass, like, the ref will be like, oh, maybe it did go out. Yeah.

But when a guy shoots it over the net, if you see their face, they know exactly what they did. That's one of the worst feelings in the world, is shooting one over the glass and getting a penalty.

Yeah.

You also didn't mention the Boston Bruins. Curious why they're not on the list.

In the beginning of the year. I didn't even see them being as good as they are. I thought they were going to be a wild card team. Very impressed what they've done this year. I thought losing Bergeron was really going to hurt them, but what pasta does every year is amazing. Marshant stepping in as a captain this year, I also thought they did a good job of bringing in some older veteran guys, which not a lot of teams are doing. They brought in JBR, Kevin shatton, Kirk, guys that have been around, guys that know what it takes. So I think they did a good job with bringing in older guys to help out their younger guys because you look in the beginning of the year, I think the kid's name is Portois or something like that. He started off hot, had a good first ten games. But when you're young, anyone can have good ten games. You need those veteran guys around to help you out during the dog days of the year like they are now. And I think the Bruins did a good job of that. I think the east is going to be tough to get out of.

You saw a little bit last year the way that they do. Their two goalie system doesn't quite work in playoffs. You got to have that one mean we'll see. I don't think anyone will want to play them in the playoffs, but I don't see them going on a deep run. And probably good that I live in Florida now, not Boston, because I'd be getting my head punched in.

All right. One guy I wanted to bring up because we just saw his jersey get retired in Pittsburgh. Yarmer, yager. It was awesome. They all wear mullets. They came out. He seems like an absolute legend of a guy. You got to play with him. Is our view of Jager correct, that he is just a guy everyone loves, not only because he was so talented, but just a good dude in the locker room.

He was amazing. The way I describe it, he was like a little kid. He was just a little kid. But when I played with him, I think he was 67 years old. I'd never forget. He'd be like, hey, yenzi, yenzi, want to go get a muffin? Want to go get a muffin? He'd sit on the back of the bus, and he'd eat his muffins like a little kid. Unbelievable, but good yaga story. I think it was foxwoods or Mohegan's son. When he was in either Pittsburgh or New York, they were opening up their casino, and they waited for a night that Yager was playing in Boston and could make the trip up there and kind know, be part of the first, the open night. I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool. They want you there. He's like, they didn't want me there. They wanted all my money.

He probably gave it to him.

Oh, yeah, the quote that he had where he was like, yeah, I want to thank my girlfriend, too. She's too young to remember when I played in Pittsburgh. I think she would have liked it here.

Yeah, there was a clip. I saw that someone was like, yeah, jagger used to have a party every year, and it was 100 people, and there was no more than ten dudes.

Yeah. The girlfriend that he had when I played with him, same thing. She was probably 22, 23. He would make her come to the rink with him. He'd go to the rink at midnight and just go skate around, and she'd have to sit in the stands and video him, what is going on here? And I'm like, yogs, what does she do? He's like, oh, you want to see if she's strong? She's strong, too. And he's 250 pounds. We were at our Halloween party, and he's like, you want to see how strong she is? I'm like, yeah, sure. He just jumps on his back, and she started doing squats with him on his back. I'm like, what is going on in their house?

That's incredible.

Loved the game more than anyone. Probably the biggest rink rat I've ever seen was always at the rink tinkering with stuff. He'd put like, the pre wrap they put on your wrist if you're taping your wrist, he would put that on a stick and then put tape over it to make his stick softer. He was ahead of his game with the stuff that he had, and he'd put potatoes on his knees, if his knees were hurting in his shim pads, he'd put, like, he'd have this metal healing thing he'd put on his chest and tape it to his Shoulder pads. And I'm like, what does that do, yugs? He brings strength. Okay. He skated every day at an old age. He'd have ten pound weights on his skates, which is insane to skate around in, and he'd have those on his skates. He'd be like, oh, I feel like I'm 55 years old. I'm like, yogs, you got ten pound skates. You have to just skate regular so you can feel at least 45.

Yeah.

I mean, he played 27 years or 28 years, whatever it was. So something worked.

Yeah.

The potatoes.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

That's the most eastern european thing I've ever heard.

Potatoes.

Your knees kind of like pouring vodka on your knees. It makes it nice and warm and toasty.

My dad, when we were younger, like, yarme yaga, does 1000 squats a day, 500 push ups. And I always thought it was just a dad lie, and I asked him and he said, yeah. He was like, I did that as a kid. Did a thousand squats every day before school, 1000 after. Wrist curls, everything. He was a machine just built to play hockey.

Yeah.

Also caps legend. I have one question about the capitals. Then we'll move on. But it seems to me like they've constructed their entire roster to spend the next two years just getting Ovi, the goals record. Is that fair to say? Are they even trying to compete for anything?

Yeah, they are. I mean, I think that they're a proud organization. I think that they're going to obviously try to win the Stanley cup every year, like every team, but I think what they're doing for Ovi, I think a lot of teams, especially nowadays, the older you of teams, are kind of pushing you out. But I think what he's done for that city, for that organization, he deserves everything that he's getting, and whether it's trying to help him get the goal record or play as long as he can to get it, I think they're doing the right thing by him, and he deserves.

Yeah, like, I'm fine with it. I think if you're not going to be at the top of that level and actually have a chance to win the Stanley cup. Take care of your guy that gave you, what, 1520 years of great hockey and try to help him accomplish something. That's crazy. That's the one thing that I am paying attention to with the capitals this year. It's like, okay, I want to know when Ovi scores. I want to know how he's doing. I want to make sure he's healthy and he's not like, hurting the team when he's out there, at least to my eyes, he can still play at a high level 100%.

And he's a guy, I think, like yagger. I don't think there's an age limit for him to play. I think that what he does, he's so big, he's so strong, obviously shoots the puck like a savage, so he'll be able to get his goals. And I think it's just strictly up to him whether he wants to continue to keep playing and chase the record. I know talking to Wayne. Wayne would like to see him get know. He knows, know. Records like that are meant to be broke and good for the game and stuff. Like, yeah, it is a good thing for the league to have a guy to be even within talking about breaking a Wayne Gretzky record. And everyone always said forever that it would never be touched. And now you got ovechkin. And the way Austin Matthews is scoring, those records could be broken.

Yeah.

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So, one Blackhawks question. They're the worst team in the league, so they might get the first pick again. Obviously, Connor Berdard being out for like a month and a half probably helped them. They wouldn't have been good even if he was healthy the whole time, but they might not have been the. The is the celebrini kid just as can't miss as Badard.

From everything I've heard, I've watched him play maybe three times this year. He's got an absolute laser of a know wit. Works over at BU with them. I think he helps out. Over what?

Working with their golf swing or something?

Yeah, getting them out on the boat.

It's important to take time off, boys.

More vacations than anyone. He was just down in Florida two weeks ago, and then he texted me the other day. He's like, hey, I'm going to be down there on Thursday. You want to golf? I'm like, do you ever stay home?

Yeah, I think it's a situit thing, him and hank.

Yeah, that's true. A couple vacation legends.

But Celebrini might be. Might be another can't miss guy.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's going to be that guy. That is a camp miss. Talking to one of my best friends as a scout, he's saying he's a camp miss. I think there's a few guys in the draft that are really good, but I think if they were able to get him and bedard and obviously being a great city, Chicago, I think that they would have some really good teams for a long time. Because you hate to say, but a team like Winnipeg, if they're getting first overall guys, then you're not really getting the free agent signings as much as a city like Chicago would get. Because it's such a good city. Guys love playing there. Great fans, great atmosphere, best jerseys in the league. So I think if they were able to get him, then it'll be a fun 1520 years for you guys.

Yeah, they'll rig the draft again.

They should remember when the Hawks were winning their Stanley Cups. It was like a joke that NBC, it was like every single week it was a Blackhawks game. Every time there could be a national televised game, it was a Blackhawks game.

Yeah, I remember playing during those and you're like, jeez, why do the Blackhawks get every game? But now being out and being in the media, you got to put on games that are going to grow the game and the players that are going to grow the game. I think the league is doing an amazing job of that, growing the game, getting guys out there more than they had in the past. But I think when Chicago is a good team, it's good for everyone.

Yeah.

It's original six. Whenever there's an original six, it feels like there's just more momentum.

Yeah. Or just big fights. If there's constant big fights, I think last time we had biz on, he told us to watch Wi Fi. That dude up in Montreal, that dude can throw some punches. I love watching clips of his another who's. Another goon or tough guy that we should keep our eye on.

I think Brady Kachuk, who's. I think he's leading the league in fights this year, and I golfed with him over all star break. He was down here in Florida, and I'm like, he's a top 1015 player in the league. I'm like, brady, you got to stop fighting, man. I know he's a big, strong kid. He can throw his hands. I'm like, you got to stop fighting, man. Their teams in last place. He's like, I can't shut it off. And probably the reason why he is who he is. And I'm here talking to you guys.

Yeah.

When you get to playoff season as a defenseman, how much does it suck knowing that you now have to get in front of every puck? Is there, like, something in your head that flips and you're like, all right, now, every single one that I stayed on my feet for, I'm going to have to get on the ground and take one to the knee, take one to the shin, take one to the ankle. Do you just dread that?

Yeah. And going back for pucks, because especially as an offensive defenseman, teams would, they dump it in your corner and they're just trying to get licks on you, and it's the worst, especially that first game. You're like, okay, you got to prepare for battle. You're basically playing hockey without a puck. The first couple of games, teams are so fired up to get the playoffs started. I think the first round of playoffs is probably the best round. Teams are flying around trying to kill each other, like you said, blocking shots everywhere. But I always said, I never asked the goalie to go play the power play for me. He should never ask me to block the puck.

That's a fair point.

He's asking you do his job for him.

Yeah, I like that.

It's more the coaches.

Yeah. Was there times when you wouldn't get down for a puck and that you get reamed out afterwards being like, what the fuck are you doing?

Oh, yeah. All the time. Analytics for that.

See, if I were a coach before the playoffs, I would lay down on the ice and be like, all right, boys, if I can do it, you can do it. And just let the whole team fire on me for like ten minutes and be like, now go and do it. The lead from the front, you'd be dead. Yeah, but the guys would be fired up. They'd be fired up.

Yeah. That would be a good tactic. Maybe if you're, like, down three games to one or something like that, doing that by a coach would be elect. But a lot of the coaches are guys that were shot blockers, guys that were out there giving it their all, and all the players know that, too. So when they're asking you to do it and you knew that they did it, it's tough to not kind of sack up and do it.

Yeah, that's fair.

And they probably did it in an era with they had less pads on.

Yeah, I don't know. The pads have always been, every time you get hit with a puck, you feel it. Unless you get hit in the foot. When you have the shop lockers on, it kind of just grazes off your foot, then you don't really feel it too much. But anytime you get hit with a puck in the foot, or it always finds the area with no equipment or. I shouldn't say always. I'd say 70% of the time, you're getting full impact of the puck just on your bare skin, which is the absolute worst.

Yeah, it sounds awful. I was reading something the other day about how coaches, they don't use their challenge where they can say, hey, that guy's got a fucked up stick. He's got too much curve on his stick. Coaches don't do that ever, even though it's basically a free penalty every single night if they wanted to do it. And are they not doing that because everybody cheats and they know that they have guys on their team that do it, too?

Is that even a rule anymore, the illegal curve?

I think so, yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

I would say the way guys curves are nowadays, I'd say over 50% of the league, if there is a legal curve, everyone's, I would imagine if it's the same of what it used to be. There used to be, like this silver thing that you put up against it that measured it, but I can't imagine that it's still a rule or why people aren't using it. But it's probably the same thing, like you said, because you have access to other teams room, your trainers are going in there. You could go in and measure a guy's stick before a game and kind of know exactly what you're going into. But, yeah, I wonder when the last time that was called. I know the famous one with Marty McSorley. And I think he was LA at the time, but yeah, I wonder what the last one was.

Yeah.

Because the thing I was reading was saying that coaches don't do it because it's like an unwritten rule.

Gentlemen game. Yeah.

Where maybe you're point the finger at them. You got some going on at your own end. But yeah, nobody does it anymore and it seems like it's a free penalty if you want it.

Yeah, maybe now if people hear this then people will do it and play. That's. But that is one of the good things about the NHL. And I saw it the other night. Did you guys see the guy in Ottawa scored the empty neck goal and then.

Yes.

Just rushed him? That's my favorite part about the NHL, how it just polices itself. Imagine in football if you do something stupid and 400 pound lineman, you know he's going to come and just rip your head off. You're probably not going to do it.

Yeah.

So the way that the game police itself is amazing and probably with the coaches not doing that, it's probably just out of respect.

Yeah.

For people who missed it, it was an empty net. Goal was like four two and then there was like 5 seconds left. And was it an Ottawa player who just took a Slap shot from like 5ft away on an empty neck goal and scored with no time left and he just got absolutely bum rushed immediately. It was awesome.

And the worst part is you have your goalie pulled so you got one more player than the other team out there. So no matter what, this guy's getting hands put on him by someone, even if your whole team comes in, which Ottawa did. But there's two guys on that guy who shot it into the net and caused that havoc.

Yeah, that was great. All right, so Yan, this has been awesome. I have one last question. It's a rowback question. Rho back. Use promo code. Take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers shorts. Rowback.com. The best golf stuff out there. Go get it right now. Rowback.com promo code take. All right, so Jans, you are in the dozen trivia league. You are on one of the worst teams ever. Very entertaining, but very bad at trivia. So I wanted to test your trivia and give you a question and see how you're doing, how the mind's coming along. Okay, you ready? It's an easy one.

Yeah.

No, it's an easy one. All right, Keith Yandel, you scored how many goals and had how many assists in your NHL career? When you over under someone else should do a niche. We should have kb like learn all of Yan's stats and have that be a niche because he could dominate. Come on.

I think goals. I'm pretty sure I got 100 or I want to say 100 or just over 100.

We need a number.

I'm going to go 102.

103 was the correct answer.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty damn good. You were pretty close.

And then you get like a plaque for the assist. I don't know, maybe 450.

Oh, no. You sold yourself short on both. 516 on assists.

All right.

Yeah.

What about penalty minutes?

Oh, God, penalty minutes.

See if we can find this stat.

I'm not good at math.

I don't know if I can find it.

400.

Yeah, exactly correct.

Come on.

No, 616.

All right, so Keith Yandel stats might not be the niche category for the dozen for you.

No, I have no idea.

That's actually way cooler, though, to be like. I think it was like a little over 100.

Yeah, I would absolutely know exactly how many goals I scored at the NHL. Yeah, for sure.

103 on the dot.

I wish it was a lot more. Yeah, I wasn't listening to the guys in the stands yelling, shoot.

Yeah, you should have. You should have. All right, well, Yan, thanks as always, man. This has been awesome. We got to get you in the Chicago office, maybe for the start of playoffs. I know we're going to do a big stream. It'll be good to get you here. You think you can handle one of these like 41 free throw streams?

That was impressive that you guys got that done. I don't know how you did that.

The one we're talking about might be like Biz and went, want to do like a post stream, you got to hit like 30 posts in a row or something.

30 in a row, but you get the same thing, the Mulligan.

Yeah, but then you got to add me and Dave doing it, too, which is going to be impossible.

Yeah, you guys wouldn't get more than one in a row.

Yeah, we might need you.

Biz wouldn't get more than one in a row.

Would wit.

Yeah, wit would probably go, what was the max? You could do ten for you guys.

Yeah, ten.

He could do ten in a row easy.

Yeah. Once you get on a. Does it matter? Like if you shoot and then miss, do you keep going or.

No, no, you have to then get off. Well, you could keep going. Yeah, but it only counts the makes.

Yeah, I think once you got on a roll, you could get pretty hot hitting those. You could easily do ten in a row.

Okay.

I don't think Biz could. Biz would maybe get two or three.

It would be just fun seeing the two of them. Just, like, once you get to, like, hour twelve.

Do you think Whitney would be able.

To do, like, quit factor?

A two day stream nonstop?

Yeah, the quit factor. We might need you because you're a dog. Yeah. You'd be in with the boys for as long as it took.

What about bringing in goalies? Like, bringing in 50 goalies and just rotating them every 30 shots and you got to score a certain amount because the post is.

Yeah, I like that. Going against real goalies. Yeah, that would be good.

And.

Yeah, you just keep rotating.

How many high school or. Not even high school college kids that listen to your guys'show? You would have a line out the door of goalies ready to go.

That would be fun.

What about me and big cat? So neither of one of us play hockey but if you gave us, like, a 20 foot wrister against an NHL goalie, how many goals do you think we could score if we took, like, 100 shots?

Zero.

No.

Yeah.

I get one top cheddar 20 foot knuckle puck, bitch.

Yeah.

15 foot.

No. Maybe if you had, like, a breakaway, one could flip over. But if I had 100 shots on a goalie just straight away, no screen from 20ft away, I don't think I'd score more than three.

That sounds like we got a new challenge.

Yeah. Okay.

All right. I think I get challenged.

Yeah.

I'm different, though.

I'm ready. All right, well, jan, thanks so much, man. Appreciate you coming on. I love that you don't have a computer. Never change. Never change that.

Okay. I won't. I promise you I will never, ever get a computer.

Thank you.

All right.

Talk to you later, man.

See you, man.

All right.

Thanks.

Keith Yandel was brought to you by Mountain Dew Baja blast, baby. That's what I'm opening right now. All the boys drink Baja blast. Hank spilled a little bit. That's okay.

That was a bad throw by you.

That's Mountain Dew, but a great drink.

What do you mean, a bad it? You forgot that it was fizzy. You forgot that things that were shaking up gets fizzy. Mountain Dew Baja blast is the best. And they want football fans to have a blast. A mountain dew Baja blast, that is. I know firsthand that having a blast can be as simple as cracking open. A mountain dew Baja blast. Anytime, anywhere. Doesn't matter where you are, if you're watching the game, if you're at a game. If you're at home on the couch, nothing like it. I like a nice. You know what I really enjoy is, like, an italian sandwich with an ice cold mountain dew blast for lunch. That, to me, is Mountain dew. Baja blast is the best lunch drink in America, maybe of all time.

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Hey, Max. Mountain dew Baja blast. You want one?

I'll take two.

Well, you didn't get it, dude. I said you want one.

Well, I was going to take two.

But I had two in my hand. Yeah, well, because that's one to actually is. This is maybe the one soda that, like, if you drink two, that just means you're the smartest man alive. Yeah, that's a fact. All right, we'll finish up the show. Life after football. So, Jake, you have a list?

Yeah.

So last year around this time, we did a segment, hobbies the boys will pick up now that football is over.

Love it.

And I will say, hank was not on this list because I think he stayed in Arizona for vacation.

Yeah, you're on vacation. I remember that show we had a.

Talk with Yandel about, because we said it on the show biz canceled because he was sick. And then I hit up Whitney, and he was on a boat or golf, and he was like, yeah, Whitney. All he does is vacation. Is that just a situate thing?

It's a beach town. It's the Irish Riviera. It's beautiful ocean vibes.

So, Hank, do you have anything that you would have put on this list?

What was the prompt?

Hobbies the boys will pick up now that football is over. But 365 days ago.

Yeah.

What would you have done last year?

I mean, golf.

Okay. Yeah.

All right, well, I'm pleased to say that a lot of these were accomplished.

Okay.

They were accomplished.

Yes.

Okay, let's see.

Pft.

Your first bullet. Break 120 in golf.

Nice.

Boom. Easy.

You did three quarters of that done this week? Well, I got 90. It's not breaking 90.

True, but pretty much three quarters.

Everyone's goal when they start playing golf is to break 91. And I did that.

Pft.

Get a word of the day calendar.

Unfortunately, I did not do that.

Okay.

And lastly, pft. Run a marathon and not tell anyone.

Well, yeah, no, you did that. If I did run a marathon, I'm going to continue not to tell anybody that's going on this year's list.

All right, big cat.

Yeah.

Be a dad more.

Yeah.

You did that? Yeah.

Hell, yeah.

You got 365 more days of dadding in.

Yeah.

I mean, I added another son, so how could I not be a dad more?

Right.

Microdose mushrooms.

Yes. Have done that multiple times.

Olympic weightlifting.

Yeah.

Max and I are going to do that. We got to get back on our plan.

I was just talking to Max today, actually. Me and Max are gonna work out tomorrow.

Yeah, we gotta get back. Oh, you already ditched.

Didn't.

He?

Said, are you gonna work out tomorrow?

I said, yes. Okay.

You ditched me. That's fine.

We have three bullets for a billy football.

Oh.

If we hit it hard, starting now, we can actually be in a good spot for summer.

We can?

Yeah.

Good point.

I had that thought.

I'm going to hit it hard. The last couple of weeks were tough.

I'm in a bad spot now.

I'm going to hit it so hard, Billy.

I might have sold a video where I have to learn how to dunk, too, so that's actually something I have to do.

That's cool.

But not in reality, in theory.

Wait, you're going to be able to dunk?

They're like, oh, what are some ideas? I was like, I could learn how to dunk.

It's not like learning how to ride a bike.

Yeah, it's practicing vertical leap training.

Don't know if you physically.

Have you ever got rim?

Yes, on the court when I was, like, 17.

But the ball makes it so much harder.

How tall? You are more likely to get six pack, which is never going to happen, than dunk.

Why not both?

Okay. Why not both? I've been waiting, what, three years on the six pack?

Yeah.

I guess we found out Hank's hobby for football offseason.

Hang on. How to dunk? Yeah.

I've got the dunk shoes, the isometric ones.

I would love for you to dunk men's ball.

Okay.

I have to try.

I'll bet you $10,000 you can't do it by the end of the year.

Yeah, I'll match.

What do I.

Men's ball.

Ten.

You have to give us ten grand back, not 20. So 20 to ten. So five, give you 20, you give us ten?

Seven and a half.

That's crazy. Four and four.

Eight.

All right, deal. It was just whatever money we wanted men's basketball.

Ten foot rim.

Yeah.

In this office?

Yeah.

This is the stupidest thing you've ever. It's impossible. How tall are you?

Six. That's how old you were, I think.

Okay. Yeah.

No, I literally said it was probably.

A future me thing, but this is.

Okay, wait.

Similar category.

Now everything running. Keep everything running. Max, you talk about your vacation real quick. PFt and I and Hank are going to go watch how close he gets to rim. We'll come right back. We take like 10 seconds. Talk about your vacation. The three of you, the booth. Talk.

All right, Max, how was your vacation?

My vacation was great, Hank. I've actually been wanting to say this take. Hank goes to San Diego a lot. He has family out there, and he gets a lot of shit about wanting to move to San Diego. The place is most. It's like a playground. It's the most beautiful place on. I, like, hung out with a lot of people that were there, and I couldn't understand how people can have a normal day there.

And they're back.

It's just sunny every day.

Okay, we're back.

What was the result?

We're going to dunk. Pft. We screwed up because what we should have done it. The only regret I have with this bet is we should have made all parties put the money in, like, an interest account because, like, 8000 is not going to be the same amount of money next year in seven months. Thanks, Biden.

I think this is the same category as Hank's pole vaulting take.

Yeah, I mean, it's just not going to happen.

So, Hank, I said the exact same thing when I was 30. I was like, I'm going to figure out how to dunk. I said literally the exact same thing.

You're welcome to go ahead, Hank.

And it's very hard of a seven inch advantage.

You have to know that was coming. You can't say Hank is more likely to dunk than you.

At my peak, when I was like 18 years old, I was able to grab the rim with my fingertips.

That wasn't a bad baseline. I'm on zero training.

Yeah, I know, but you're not going to dunk.

What if I just go hard?

Okay, well, if you go hard, you get $20,000.

You're going to have to, one, lose weight, and then two, get stronger.

Yeah, no, I know.

Listen, it will come out of the part of my cheese.

Believe.

All I need is some people to believe. I know there's going to be a lot of haters, a lot of doubters, and that's fine. You have no reason to believe. But for the ones that do, buy in now. And maybe I'll split the money with you.

Oh, you're going to sell stock?

What does that mean? Just people have to show you support. And then you're like, yes, I'll give you money.

Yeah, consistent support.

You know what, Hank? I think you can do it.

I think you can do it.

All right. I would like to match anyone who shows consistent hate towards Hank and really bashes him. You will also maybe get involved in the money that we're going to win.

Here's what we'll do.

Just every day, just be like, there's no chance, you fucking idiot.

We'll sell a heavily discounted shirt when Hank can't do it. That just says, hank couldn't do it.

Yeah, Hank couldn't do it.

December 31.

Wait, no.

I thought we said beginning of football season.

End of the year.

No, I'll give them end of the year. We could give them the next ten football seasons.

Yeah. Why don't we give you the end of your 30s?

What about steroids? Yeah, you can use steroids to go for it.

I'm going to do it. That's the thing.

You could use steroids, but you have to share.

I'm due to follow up on one of these things and make it happen. Okay, put it that way.

I don't think this is the one.

That's some billy football logic right there.

You're due.

And if I can do this, six pack will become with it. So that should be, AII should get incentive.

Okay, what if I'll give you an extra incentive if I dunk shirtless with, if you can't dunk, I'll give you three chances to go perfect from three point contest. And if you get that, then you get the money.

Okay.

That was smart by me. Because now he's going to, like, halfway through not training, he's going to be like me. I'll just train three pointers and he'll stop training. To dunk. That works. So three times through, you'd have to make 25 three pointers in a row.

Yeah, that'll never happen.

All right, we'll say 20. That is so much more likely to.

Happen than you dunking.

Yes.

Why are you. That just made me mad that you were like, that will never happen, but dunking will because you don't understand his mindset right now.

Dude, he's got, I have no mind.

He's like, all I have to do is just hit the gym and then.

I'll be able to do train. When does training start?

Tomorrow.

Yeah. Okay. Not tomorrow. All right. What else do we have?

Billy's hobbies.

Oh, yeah.

I've never trained my legs. I have chicken legs, and I basically just touch rim.

So you're just an untapped resource.

Yes.

You did not basically just touch rim. Pretty much.

No.

Like, six inches away.

Yeah.

And you would then have to go another, like, it has to be a clean dunk. No, like getting the ball to the rim and having it just fall in. You have to actually dunk. Your hands have to be all the way over and dunk.

Okay.

I'm reviewing the tape right now, Hank. You are about. I'd say your fingertips are a good five and a half inches. I know exactly what that looks like.

That's another foot of vertical leap. You need.

You need. Yeah.

About another foot to get up there.

Work to be done.

Okay.

Can't wait to get to work.

Billy's hobbies that he'll pick up now that football season is over from last year, not get too deep into conspiracies.

Oh, he failed that one big time. Listen to macro dosing.

Don't get suspended.

Okay.

Failed. Yeah, yeah.

Failed that.

And the jets project that. The quarterbacks thing.

Didn't he already do that?

I think he.

Yeah, he did.

Was there a different do?

Did he just say that after he had finished it? That would be very.

Billy, finish the jets project.

Me. Competitive pickleball. Did that.

Check.

Max, cook more.

Max. Rip.

I've been ripping cooking ever since I moved to Chicago. And never get takeout. Only cook. You're basically the bear.

Yep.

Basically, you're the bear. If it was just like. But the fat, hairy version of basically.

Yeah.

I basically just make chicken and rice. But it's like at home, like mexican bowls. I do it, like, every week, though. Once a week. We're cooking. Yeah, we're cooking.

I love that for you.

And then finally, memes get physical.

Okay?

Memes, did you get physical? It was get a physical.

Oh, yeah.

Get a physical.

As a physical man. Still need one.

Okay. All right, let's do listeners submitted ones memes. Hank. Hank's focused on dunking 23 pointers in a row.

Hank.

And you're out.

You guys really don't.

Probably can't shooting three, like, by Thursday. You're going to see him just doing the racks.

Well, no, I'm just going to have to. Whatever. If you believe.

Well, Hank, you got to make a decision, because if you.

No, I'm dunking. If you work your leg.

Your three point shot might get jacked up.

I will dunk on you.

A basketball in a game. Way different in a game.

Pick 31 winners. PMT gets a team to select NFL teams in Madden. Select a day and have a fantasy draft and host an entire season that each person runs. Their team can either play each week or sim. No, I don't even know what I'm reading.

We're trying to do another football would.

Be good content during that draft. Oh, this is a suggestion for.

Yeah, suggestions for us.

All right.

I did that in high school. It was fun.

My friends and I live in North Carolina.

Sounds like a blast.

And have been following the immaculate stingray pregnancy. Yes, that's the Cindy Sweeney movie.

Yes.

This got me thinking. What if Jesus does come back every 2000 years but in form of different animals? We have been stuck on this and have been rewriting scriptures from the perspective of different animals. Didn't think it would be this bad. One week with no football.

Whoa.

What animal do you think would have the biggest impact if they had a Jesus dog. Easy as Always. Fucking go dukes.

I feel like cats would. They would all follow their Jesus like hardcore. Cats can gang up cat people. No, but cats themselves, they could gang up.

No, they would send up fighting.

They're solitary animals. Yeah, but dogs.

Dogs, you just throw a tennis ball and the whole plane goes wolves.

Shit. Yeah.

It becomes like the alpha wolf. The king of kings.

Wolves, wolves. Or bird.

Yeah, a bird. Everybody flies behind it.

Yeah.

What's up, boys? Welcome back. I'm in my second year out of college in a new city where I don't have many guy friends. So I filled my weekend this fall with as much football as I could. Now that it's over, I am suffering extreme withdrawal. So much that I bought the new man game just to have football on my tv. Even if I was the one creating the football. I'm worried that my weekends this spring summer will be a vortex of nothingness. I'm planning on getting a golf membership to my local course this summer.

Smart.

Nine handicap, no big deal. But I'm open to potential other hobbies to keep myself from playing 36 holes five days a week. Any ideas? Love you guys.

Start drinking more. Just become just a raging alcoholic.

Walk.

Yeah. Do you have a girlfriend?

Just walk.

Not you can find a girlfriend.

Sydney Sweeney.

Single?

I don't think she is.

Oh, fuck.

That was the whole big controversy.

Are you sure?

Yeah, with the other guy when they were promoting their romcom.

Oh, man.

I'm going to need a minute.

She's been lying to me. That sucks.

She's engaged.

What?

Good for her.

Every time she's.

She working.

Says she's working on a movie, can't come over.

I know what this guy's going through, because this just. I thought I just sat down. I was like, what if the Rams played the Seahawks this weekend and I made a line for it, and I had Rams minus two and a half?

Where?

In Seattle?

Oh, I would hammer the. Oh, no, the Rams minus two and a half.

Yeah, it's a good line.

Yeah, it's a good line.

It's a good line.

I also had Vegas at Carolina, and that was Vegas minus three. Starting Quarterback on the road, Adrian O'Connell, Bryce Young. But remember, they got canalis.

Yeah.

You wrote a cookbook on with this one. Probably the best suggestion we've ever had.

Learn how to dunk.

Idea for what to do while football is gone. Fully commit to an offseason training program. Conditioning, weights, study film, drilling, plays, whole nine yards.

I like that. Like, pretend that you're going to be.

A linebacker or, like, a shooting guard.

Who can dunk, but he's talking about football.

Yeah. Fully commit to an offseason training program.

Including what?

Conditioning, weight, studying, film, drilling, plays, the whole nine yards.

Oh, I guess it could be basketball.

Basketball.

Could be golf, too.

It could be golf.

Yeah. Okay.

I like that.

One alternate idea. Fully committing to get in the worst shape of your life and see how unhealthy you can get all the way through preseason and commit to getting in sheep next year.

That'll work. I like the sound of that.

We've always talked about meeting in the middle.

Yeah.

What are you at now?

I'm at, like, two.

Something. Yeah, two and change.

Two.

Dot, dot, dot.

Do you think meeting in the middle would be approximately 210 pounds? How much you weigh? I don't know. I haven't been on a scale in a while. I think 180.

It might have to be a little higher than that.

I could get up to, like, 215, 220.

I'm about to get in shape. Chef Donnie's about to. I just gave him my credit card. It was like, make me food if anyone wants to get on the meal plan.

Sure.

I'm in. I'm going to be it.

Well, you guys got to give them your credit cards, too.

I'll just take it. I'll say it's a.

Okay.

We'll take it out of your will.

I told him to just get a big bowl and have hard boiled eggs in there at all times.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

So anyone who wants hard boiled eggs, hit me up. I'm going to be flushed with hard boiled eggs.

They get a bar for everything else. Why not just an egg bar? You get the egg and then you get, like, chives, salt, pepper, bacon bits.

Yeah.

Are you talking about just an omelet bar?

Yeah, egg bar, hard boiled.

You're talking about an omelet steak.

No, this is completely different. It's hard boiled eggs, but you get all the shit that goes in an omelet, put it on the egg, and it's way healthier.

This is going to be a big Google.

What was that? What is that sentence? This is going to be a big Google.

Is this a question from a listener that you're looking up, or what are.

You doing egg related? We're on a podcast, Hank.

How long to learn how to dunk?

I suspect there are a few variables that go into that.

A couple, I would say one.

Have you ever dunked before?

Two.

How old are you?

Three.

Do you have chicken legs? Four. Are you think delusional is good?

I agree. Yeah, sure. But, yeah, there's, like, LeBron James's daughter's going to dunk before. You think about that easily. Yes, a couple variables.

It wasn't, like, an easy answer.

No, of course not. Okay.

I read it, said would like three months so I can impress some people in school after summer. This guy sounds like my type of guy in school. Like, top comment, no way to tell. And it's going to be different for everyone. If you can just grab rim, then you're six to eight inches away from dunking off the dribble.

Oh, yeah.

So you're about that much in three months is not going to happen. I would say a year if you get hella lucky. If not, then, like a year.

Now, you're not six inches away from grabbing rim. So add five to eight inches on.

Top of that, so that's another ten.

Years over a foot.

So, yeah, maybe when you're 50.

I'd say by 40. You can probably dunk by the time you're 40.

Okay.

I also think we should bring back. That's what she said in 2024. I feel like it's been out of the lexicon for a while. It always plays, though. Yeah, always plays.

Always. Okay, we ready? Good show, boys. Numbers 43. 20.

Future vert.

18.

899. Pug? I was going to do 99, but I wasn't going to 21. Pug? I will do 77. Do we have a ball in there?

No, we're cleaning.

57. 57.

Yes.

All that max.

Love you guys offer the gram.

Bitches love the gram.

Oh, wait.

Shit. Take no breaks talking away, I don't know what. Anyway today is another day to find you shining away? I'll be coming for your love of me? Take me out, be gone? Did I take? Tell me, let's say I would say learning that life is okay? Stay up to me? It's a better to be safe and sorry July like today just the same I worries away? You're all things I've got to remember? You shine away? I'll be coming for you anyway? Take on me, take on me, take me out? I take only I take only I take on me, take on me, on me? Take on me, take me, take on me, on me? Close.