On today's part of my take, we have Ryan Whitney, one of our favorite guests. People have been asking for him.
We talk some hockey, talk to Winter Classic talk fighting in the NHL, talks Sidney Crosby and where he ranks all time Ryan Whitney's golf game.
Ryan Whitney gets pounded by Billy and borrowed the disrespect. Awesome interview. We have actually a ton of sports to talk about the maximum of winning a tournament.
The genesis was at the halftime show Genesis. It was actually very, very upsetting, Major, seeing that logo and not having it be in black and white with good Charlotte.
Yes. So we had that. We had a ton of college hoops. We had some hockey.
We had everything packed Monday show and were brought to you by our friends at Verizon. You've heard us talk a lot about how Verizon 5G ultra wide band makes gaming better, ultra low lag console quality gaming on the go. Well, we're not just talking gaming, Verizon design. They're 5G to make things we do every day better. With the coverage of 5G nationwide, millions of people can now do what they love in Verizon, 5G quality, like work with their teams in 5G clarity, listen to the music they love and 5G fidelity and stream their favorite shows in 5G resolution.
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Right. No military violence and no luck. Look, I know I'm on the phone with China right now. Do you like it? I don't a. It's part of my high school.
Sports wasn't part of my take by Verizon 5G.
Today is Monday, February 22nd. And I'm going to say, boys. It's March Madness, let's go. It feels like March Madness. It feels this weekend maybe it was all the blue bloods having their revenge, which I love. I love how I don't know if you saw, but everyone was like the blue bloods are back. Michigan State, Duke, Kentucky, Arizona, like record scratch. Arizona, a blue bloods.
I think win Arizona could be. UCLA is the blue bloods. Arizona could be a blue.
I think Arizona was. I mean, they want to win a national championship in the early 2000s. There's a bunch of NBA players that doesn't make you a blueblood.
I'm like Saleem's Stottlemyre, his left hand in legend. Historic right, historic blue blood like legendary coach.
What do you think? I don't know. Yeah, I guess because the UCLA is the PAC for Blueblood. Yes, but there's all going to have more than one.
When I think of like out West, when I think of UCLA, I think of them winning like eleven championships in ten years.
Not possible, but I feel like they still don't think Arizona is a no thank you. I one step below. Not saying they're bad. I think, I think they're close to being a blueblood. But the fact that I just was like, oh yeah. Jason Kidd. No, he actually went to Cal am pretty sure.
And Jefferson, the fact that it took you a second like you, you know, a blue ball when you see it. Yeah. It's a no doubter. It's not like maybe they yeah. I think it would floor Florida be a blue but it is kind of funny to be like, yeah, no it's really they're not a blue blood bank, but they're unreal.
This, this since two thousand. Yes. Yeah absolutely.
I think chairmanships don't like ever be done again.
The blue blood is that is the history behind it. It's Ivy Street and MIT.
But I don't think it will be a bold claim saying that nobody's ever going to win a back to back championship again in history. It's the hardest to win.
It is a championship. You win the tournament back to back twice. Yes. Yeah. Agreed.
It'll happen, though. It's to say it's never going to happen again. That's actually a little bit of inter blue blood coming out. That's something that a blue blood would say. Yeah, fair. All right. Maybe I'll take it back. Yeah.
What about Louisville? Yeah, I don't think so. No, they didn't even win that championship that they won eight years ago like Michigan State might because of magic. I think they become a blue blood, but like they might even be pushing it.
And it is fun to say like that the blue bloods are back like the blue bloods have become the new mid major. Yes, the blue bloods flipped so fast, no Kentucky, Michigan State and Duke all winning as Big Ten.
Well, Duke was only a two point underdog, but it felt like we had like, oh, this is a normal Saturday. And it probably sounds snobby, like I can't I love college basketball regardless. But it is fun when the when the blue bloods are involved. It's fun to hate Duke. Did you see Hank like it ruined my Saturday night. Sunday morning. Duke beat Virginia and the Virginia did not score a single point after with like a minute and a half left, Duke slapped the floor and in unison.
It was it was gonna throw me nuts.
It was beautiful. But that's the stuff that you love to have. It's good. It's good for the game. When, like, you were getting pissed off at Duke. Yeah. It felt like it was too easy to hate on Duke for the last couple of weeks. Like you were just kicking an orphan.
You guys still didn't know? No, we tried not. We talk about us worked up.
Hank, it's sports. Hank, we're sports podcast. We have to talk about the sports shows.
Yeah, it's cool watching John Howard like people when he went to Michigan, they were like, is this going to work? Looks like it's working. That dude who is on the bench on the phone that didn't get caught. What was he doing? Who are you talking to on the phone during a basketball game?
I have a theory. Yeah, OK. I think he was talking to the delivery driver to get postgame meal, Vermont student manager. That would always be on standby, one of them. And to have to run out that the final media time out to pick up the food.
Got it. So I'll go outside the program stuff that, you know, we're just not get anywhere else in Michigan.
Ohio State game was was awesome. High level basketball. It just feels like, you know, I think it was partly because we had a great Friday with blue bloods, but then or Saturday with blue bloods and then Sunday having the standalone CBS game deliver the music. Everything's flowing. It just feels Raftery and it's good.
We can't I so, so, so, so much missed March Madness last year.
Like, I think that's one of the things that when I'm hopefully 85 on my deathbed, like my last words are going to be like, remember when we didn't get the tournament?
No, I just because I was funny, they need to come up with a they need to come up with a drug that just makes you forget the previous twelve months just erased this from history. But it really hurts.
It will hurt me forever. Will haunt me forever. But college basketball, we're rounding into form. It's marching one week, one week from today. This is March. Yes, it will be March. So we're ready to go.
We also had our guy Max Haoma win a tournament.
What was the tournament again? Is the genesis? Yeah. Oh, right here. Wait, here's here's what I have right here.
I found I Googled Blue Bloods in college basketball. This was a historically speaking, are only six. So it's even more exclusive. Kentucky, USC, Indiana, Duke, UCLA and. Wait, historically speaking, there are only six, that's what this program again hit Kentucky, USC, Indiana, Duke, UCLA and Kansas. That's why I'm saying Michigan State is actually more borderline than like if we're if we're actually going off of just straight blue bloods. I agree with this person.
That person, I think, is just confusing blue bloods with the color blue on uniforms. No, all those teams except for Indiana. Earl, just these are these are teams that are historically like, you know, have been around for forever and been prominent forever.
And also they like I don't know, there's something about basketball states. And then the next list is Connecticut, Georgetown, Louisville, Michigan State, Syracuse, Villanova.
I kind of agree with this where this guy's going with this, like those guys could sneak in.
But really, if we're talking tonight, me versus Hank, Syracuse, Duke. Oh, yeah.
What's the mayor's bet? I mean, last time I won the short the pants, but I gave them back before even getting them. Wait, what do you mean remember. Lost them back to him after you won them declines.
I won the bet but I declined the price were so hideous that you didn't even want to claim. Yeah.
So he would have gotten my TIV, the dolphins all. But now maybe we can run it back. The circus. There you go.
The blue bloods. The Blue Bloods is it just might be tier two. That means instead. Yeah. Yeah. I actually agree with you. This guy is talking about isn't that where the term blue bloods come from. Yeah. Hemophilia. Yeah. Because you're just always parents were brother and sister. How about, how about loser has to wear a shirt and tie next time we play ping pong and social streams.
Billy, we actually know the origin of the word blue bloods. Oh yeah. Because the people who didn't work outside were usually the upper class. And so you could see their blue veins through their skin because there was more translucent.
So that's why their blue bloods, OK, the first record of the term blue blooded to mean noble descent dates to the early 19th century, but the notion actually stretches back much further.
The concept likely originates in medieval Spain as Sangre de Azul and is attributed to the rich, powerful families of Castillo kinetically because.
No, no, it isn't. That is, I have the sports version. OK, give it to us. This is great. We're just going deep dove on bluebloods.
The term blue water refers to royalty or someone of noble birth because they didn't have to do anything. Nobility had very pale skin, so their blue veins were extremely visible.
So a basketball blood is just that royalty.
Their veins are the most vascular basketball teams. Yeah. Or the loyalty of royalty. What was LeBron saying?
I forgot my dad. Dad as a father of three. Yes. All right. So bluebloods, I'm actually OK with this guy being like six and there's only.
So there should. Yeah, it should be a finite amount. You can't just induct new bluebloods until you kick one of them out.
There are there are there's new money like Villanova, UConn, Florida.
That's new money like Indiana. Yeah, they're technically blueblood, but I think they would probably be first one out. Yeah.
Although they do have last undefeated season. Right. Is that true. Yes. Yeah. Last undefeated season. Indiana. Yeah, I know they're going to check but check. OK, we're getting Jake, we're working like overtime.
Either way, our money's worth. College basketball feel so back. It just the tournament feels like it's coming very, very soon and everything is six.
Indiana, there we go. So, yeah. So and this year will be interesting because we have Gonzaga. We have we have three on. Right. We have Gonzaga.
Baylor with most things is the funniest person ever.
But it's the way I feel like in yesterday's game that was that was the first time in months that somebody has been like like showed up on a national stage. And you're like that team can beat Baylor, that team can beat Gonzaga, Michigan, Michigan.
It's really Michigan's really, really fun. I feel like we need to include them in that conversation. Yes. Baylor, Gonzaga, Michigan. And it.
Do you think that Jalen Johnson's draft stock will get affected if they go on the run without him?
Actually, no. No, I do not. I think is like the take. He'll get a lot of hot takes about him, but I think that his draft status will be whatever his draft status is, because I don't think the actual people making the picks and the scouts care about what Duke did. Now, if this was unless our foreman gets a job between now and then, if this was the NFL, then, yes, there would be some GMs and some talent evaluators that would be like better off without him.
He's a diva. But I think the NBA hasn't reached that level of hotness inside their own ranks yet.
The I mean, we have a couple of months before the draft and we'll get into the whole draft eventually when we get there. But there's already a lot of talk about Zach Wilson not being a captain, a lot of talk, which I kind of agree with.
If you're a quarterback, I put it this way, I'd prefer you to be a captain. It's so hard to be a quarterback and not be a captain. Yes. Yes. I think it's the the Bo Callahan joke and draft. A joke actually becomes real when you have a college quarterback who's a first round talent and not a cap and no one goes to his. Birthday party, he said, you know what he should do if you're smart, Zach Wilson, you need to release all the pictures of all your birthday parties.
Yes, and just I don't care. Just Photoshop everybody on your team into the background. Make everybody believe in you as a leader, because, like, if you're if you're a dominant college quarterback, you play at a good school like BYU and you're not elected captain. Like you better have a first round pick, a running back, first round pick and wide receiver. I don't think that BYU does know. So it's like who were you know, what?
If I were him, I would be like I was voted captain and I elected to give it to my sister.
Or he could say, as 21 years old, I was actually the youngest guy on the team.
Yeah. So do Mormons not believe in the birthdays? Was that Jehovah's Witness? That's Jehovah's Witness. OK, so maybe Mormons say he's a Jehovah's Witness.
Yeah, he's extra Mormon. You could confuse some people. I'm confused right now.
Just saying it to be like I don't celebrate birthdays. Therefore, no one could come to it.
Right. Mormon. So. But they celebrate birthdays, right? That's what you do on your birthday. You just penis and vagina and just hang out for a while.
Jehovah's Witnesses, every time we bring up. So he looks at us like, oh, you know, soaking his belly. Yeah, we went over OK. All right, good. All right. Let's talk golf. Máxima one, the Genesis Open, Tony Pheno.
So congrats to Max. We're going to try to get him on later on this week. Tony Pheno is officially cursed. And so I tweeted that question out there is Tony Pheno curse. He's not only curse, there is a curse. Have you heard about the Puerto Rican Open? No, there's a legitimate curse out there, and I'm so fucking in on it. So the Puerto Rican Open, Puerto Rico Open, that is the one win the Tony Pheno has.
He has like a ton of top fives. He's finished top five at every major tournament. He's always there. He's leading always on Saturday and then he falls apart on Sunday. The Puerto Rico Open has an eleven year history. This is from Will Great G.S. on Twitter. Eleven year history. No winner has gone on to win any other tournament after they won the Puerto Rico Open. That's wild.
How crazy is that? The only winner to win another tournament after they won the Puerto Rican Open is Michael Bradley, who won the Puerto Rico open. Again, no other Joe doesn't count.
That doesn't count. That's that's the definition of a Pyrrhic victory, right? Like you when you're super happy and then you're just fucked. But what's the purpose of the Puerto Rican Open? Because a lot if it's high enough that I don't think that you really care that.
No, you don't care. It's I was reading about it. It's like it's great for I think it is like three three million maybe. Yeah.
That's pretty good. No way. No. Five hundred.
Forty thousand. I was way off. Way off. Oh here's an even better one right away off then. Ryan Laughner G.S..
So these guys are just going to get Golf Channel just fucking hopping on each other's tweets.
He had this anecdote as well, guys who finished second in the Puerto Rican Open, Jason Day, Jordan Spieth and Bryson DeChambeau, the best part of their entire career, was finishing second, not first. That's the money spot. Yeah, it is a curse tournament.
Eleven years that it's been there and no one has ever won that tournament and then afterwards one another.
So when is when is the next one? I think it just happened. I think it just happened. Right. I was just saying we have so many fucking things. We have to kidnap Brooks before that one. Yeah.
I think this might be the one that he skipped. Oh, no, it's that hasn't happened yet. Twenty twenty one is not happening this week. It's this week.
Brooks, don't go. Don't go. Don't stay home. Odorico open. That's easy for a twenty fifth. This one of you. Cocoa Beach Golf and Country Club. That's crazy.
That is, that is very fine. Out of will disarm. Had no idea how to compare that to like other tournaments. None, but that's got to be the only one with a stat like that. Yeah.
And so Tony Pheno is curse and if you can feel it like the other guys that have won this tournament are not Tony pheno level golfers, Tony Pheno, it's pretty clear he's always in and out on the Tony Pheno curse thing until you brought up the Puerto Rico open. I don't necessarily believe that vinos curse because I feel like golf always has a character like that and it changes over the course of the years. But yeah, there's always like one guy who's in contention at every major doesn't win and then finally he wins one and then he might win another down the line.
But I think it's just because golf is very hard to win majors.
You're right. There's always that one guy that he can't win a tournament until it like he has ninety nine point nine percent approval rating. Right. It was that way. Yeah. And Jim Nance's is literally crying on the broadcast, trying to get him to victory. Yes. Then and only then can he he becomes like the favorite golfer of 55 year old dudes. Right. And whoever's lining up behind that guy eventually, like when Phil Mickelson made that put out Augustan, like Obama started tweeting about them.
Right. Dads across America were weeping. And that's going to be Tony Pheno. And he'll win one eventually, but. I was I was shocked. Yeah, I think so, I thought because I don't know if we can get rid of the Puerto Rico curse, but we are rooting for Bryson this weekend. He's that's going to be Wile E.. I'm I'm a full on Bryson to Shambo stand right now. Yeah.
I mean, Tony Pheno must he has to probably be. We're giving Jake a million things to work on. So add this and we'll circle back with it.
He has to be like the highest earning golfer to only have one win because I feel like he cashes checks every week.
Yeah, they're like famil at the majors. When you finish like fourth place, that's a it's a pretty good weekend. I was shocked at that. Max actually came back and won after that last hole on eighteen. He had a shot like three feet away, got the yips the course, beat him on eighteen. Do you know what it was?
I think I think the and hopefully we'll have to ask him this, but I think for Max, he's good.
But he's so good at Twitter that that putt he was being like, what is Twitter going to say if I miss this? Because I was thinking about it.
Yeah, because he's he has made half of his living, half his living golf, half of his living is roasting people on Twitter.
Yeah. At some point he has to think when he's playing like, oh, this one's not going to go well on Twitter.
Either that or he's so good at Twitter that he knew that he would go viral as fuck if you missed that three foot trend. Yes, you did that. That video got millions of impressions. It's the curse of being too online. How how bad would it sucked? Like finish a tournament you've played? How do you do math was 72 holes. Yup. And then all of a sudden you have to play more golf.
Don't suck. I will be if you have to play 18 holes of golf sober, that's hell enough. Well, I was thinking like go back to ten after you done. No, thank you.
It's not bad for the single elimination. So the single elimination holds. It's totally fine with the PGA Championship. I think it is. You know, maybe the U.S. Open where you have to play a full 18. That's bullshit. They might change that.
But that's what it was like when there was Tiger and Rocco. Yeah, back in the day.
I think the one hole playoff is fucking awesome. I think that's electric. I think also you're like I mean, for Tony Pheno, he was pumped to have that chance. Yeah.
Even though he's Keusch, I mean, it is crazy that Max was able to come back and win after that and ended up winning a couple of nice shots behind the tree. Yeah. I mean, right.
That that's that is the biggest example of the curse being true is like Max choke does not not choke the like he he oh he gave it away.
He gave it away.
Max would tell if Max was watching Max on Twitter. Max would say he choked. Yeah. So it's only fair we say that he choked.
So Tony, finalities number seventy eight all the time when it comes to money. Twenty one million two hundred eighty five thousand add this could be active. OK, Tiger Phil Furyk. Yeah, they sing right below him. It's ninety nine as Bryson. So Bryson won a major and Tony still makes more than him. Wow.
That's crazy. Yeah. I don't know, I don't know. Don't you know. Don't cry for me Argentina. Don't cry for me Tony Pheno. But someone actually did tweet that he thinks that there's a rumor out there that Tony Pheno is like a long lost cousin of Seamus Flemming. Frank Flemming's.
Oh, great, great, great. Well, that was a grandfather. Wasn't his great great grandmother also very unlucky, like she bought a potato farm, right?
Shame, shame, shame. He started the potato famine in pretty much the entire nation.
The entire island. Yes. And I think it became like a stock trader in 1922 in nineteen twenty nine.
Yeah. Yeah. A huge Blink fan back in the teens. He got into the mortgage business in 2007.
Oh that was me. All right. So what else we got on sports. It was an awesome weekend. Awesome.
I was watching Max which was fun because I really like when we have him on like two months ago. Three months ago. Yeah. But I feel like we Mauser's last. Yeah. We've grown along with Max these last couple last couple months and he's actually like come close to winning before. That's the homosexual nation that we talked about last week. Like we're here, we're proud.
Yup. I also appreciate how much, you know, he plays a lot of war zone, like I'll go on it any night and he's just like on there grinding. And that's one of those things where today's pro athlete winning millions of dollars and he just goes home and, you know, like us. Hunt stops Yes.
At the end of the day. Oh, everyone likes Mirkin. The only other news gyun Damon got arrested for DUI, which that had to have been the biggest. Oh, you think story like that. Sabermetrics, his his blood alcohol level was a point three. Oh that's he was three quarters of the way dead. Dead if you're a point. Oh. And he was like smiling. He looked like he was relatively lucid, his mug shot. But that's point three is like that's a first ballot Hall of Fame drunk stuff.
I wonder. I mean I don't credit to the police officer for even understanding him because you can't understand when he's sober. But that was the rare story where you were I was scrolling the timeline, saw it, and you could have told me that was six years old. And I would have been like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. That how that was the least shocking DUI arrest of all time. Yeah. The only thing I missed was he should have had the beard.
I wish he still had the caveman beard because he actually looked better than I thought he would look. Yeah. In his mug shot for a point three oh blood alcohol level. Yeah, OK, I wanted to see him in full on homeless shaggy guy mode, but I guess the Yankees took that out of him. It's really sad.
I would imagine Jane Damon's personal lawyer, like, had a file ready to go already for the. Yeah. Yeah. Like he just like how they rewrite obituaries, like, you know, ABC, his lawyer just opened up who came in to work the next day, open up the file account was like in case of DUI or when DUI happens.
Here is our defense. There are certain guys out there that you should definitely have that pre written.
Yeah, he's got it's pretty much it's I have a baseball, I would say has T.Y. I mean, you get to drink in the in the clubhouse.
It's like yeah it's a grant and it's in Florida. If I just assume that if you're retired baseball player and you live in Florida, you've got at least two or three DUIs already under your belt and Arizona, Arizona and Florida. Yeah, yeah. I feel like Arizona might be the most DUI of all the states. Minnesota is shockingly high. Yeah. Yeah. Can you get them on like a sled. I think dog sled, anything that would be probably the that's the final boss of a DUI is like getting your dogs pulled over because you're too drunk.
One of the dogs are drunk. Yeah, that'll be double. Don't do that.
Don't do not you don't drink and drive period. Don't be Johnny Damon. That's that's a great way to live life.
All right, let's do ah.
Who's back of the week. And then we have Ryan Whitney. Awesome, awesome interview with Ryan, even though he was disrespectful to Billy.
But who's back of the week is brought to you by our friends at cash cap. Cash app is back. The stock market is back. Investing to cash app is back. You can buy and sell Bitcoin on the cash app. And of course, when you download the cash app and enter the referral code bar stool, you'll receive ten dollars for free and ten dollars goes to the ASPCA.
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Again, not an investment strategist, but go download the cash app stock market linked directly your bank account. You can buy Bitcoin, you can do everything. The cash app from the App Store or Google Play store today. Thank you to the cash app. OK, Hank, who's back of the week?
Who's back the week is Coach Prime. Yeah, stop coming on this show because he was focusing on the upcoming season. Today was their first game. They won like fifty seven. Nothing. Yeah. Troy Aikman. It was pretty bad ass to see just Troy Aikman walking. Came in just to like support, you know, his friend Dion. But like that's pretty cool. And they have a whole season coming up. So it's going to be electric to watch.
What do you mean?
They you know that we are not part of the team, right? We are. We're just trying to get one to know every week. I watched a little of the game on the ESPN.
That was pretty good. Right? It's also had to like it had the college football music.
It will fill the void of like the NFL, like it's better than the NFL was last year. It's better than like whatever other sports leagues. It's like Coach Prime. Yeah.
Yeah, I agree. I think if you were to rank like Spring Football League's FCS is one the new NFL. Actually, no, the old NFL is two new fellows, three. Then you have all the USL, whatever that is that we all forgot about. And then the one that Johnny Football is over the Glazer boys this year, by the way, I think I'm a college football fan. Oh, nice to know I'm not a zapp. Nope.
Nope. Glazer boy, they're not yet boys.
Yeah. Oh, that's amigos. Yeah that's. Yeah.
OK. Yeah we're good boys. I'm amigo. What is your who is your who's back. My who's back of the week is being woak being woak is back. Big time little programing announcement. Arian Foster and I are doing a podcast. It's going to be coming out every single Tuesday. It's going to be basically just about being woak as fuck about everything. So we're going be diving into like conspiracy's dark web stuff. Whatever Arean is getting obsessed with that.
We can we're going to do stuff on clubhouse, too.
So I don't know really know what clubhouse is or understand it, but we're going to try to go on clubhouse and then use what we get off clubhouse to also go into the podcast. What's it called? It's called. Thank you, Hank. Good question. Still streams.
Go download the basketball. You can when it's free to enter, you can win five thousand dollars. It's going to be amazing. You guys are going to love it on the podcast called Micro Dosing.
So I feel backroad macro. Yeah, it's called macro dosing. It's called macro dosing. And it's going to be a lot of fun. Aryan's pumped.
I think we're gonna have Aryan's on Wednesday. Yeah, we're going to on Wednesday. We'll talk.
Episode one is coming up. Sports Construes Episode one's coming out Tuesday and it's a dose what we're going to dose Alto's.
It's a deep dove into the life of Alex Jones, not just like not just like his theories and stuff, but like his life growing up and how he became how he turned from like a pretty red 41 year old fat guy into a really red 41 year old fat before and after.
Yeah, yeah. He's got. He did that 30 day diet. Yeah, no, he was just popping the pills, by the way, I ordered a bunch of stuff from the Infowars square store, so that's going to be fun.
I'm not super male alpha vitality pills again. Ari tricolors stones didn't work. All right. So my who's back? Actually, I'm also I'm woak on my who's back. So go download Mercado's right now. Subscribe to it. We will have Arion on the show on Wednesday.
I'm WOAK. Pfft. Maybe you can discuss therein. I'm OK on this Cam Newton clip. Oh I'm OK on this Cam Newton clips.
So if you saw there was viral video of Cam Newton getting berated by what seemed like a high school kid at a seven on seven tournament, and the reaction is naturally, how could you do this to Cam Newton? Respect Cam Newton SportsCenter tweeted out, oh, here's a list of all his accomplishments. Heisman Trophy, national championship MVP, everything. Right. Everyone saying Cam Newton in his prime was incredible.
Yes, community in his prime was incredible in almost.
It's Kinman FreeAgent. Yeah. Yeah. It almost feels like that was kind of set up to remind everyone how awesome Cam Newton introduced will put out a video of Cam getting disrespected.
That forced to recall how great he is at football. Because you're right, this is the this is the most sympathetic press Cam Newton racked in the last year. Not only that, but this is it is a universal this kid's being a shithead. I'm kind of on team kid here.
Like there's not a single person in your correct. Hank, almost like when do you see that on the Internet? When it's like a no brainer. Exactly. Hmm. It's just this is perfect.
Like, listen, the level of openness that this takes to get to all I'm saying is set this up, if that's what you have to think of. Yes.
PR people we know PR people who could absolutely set something like this up.
Oh, bleep this name could absolutely set that.
I don't I mean, I think if it was set up, he would have been wearing a fancier outfit. This isn't the first time this has happened.
There's another you also notice he had a peloton jacket on. He probably got paid by palletize. This is all a big biap. He got a double dip. No, he's like, hey, we're going to do a viral video to help Cam's rep and get everyone on cam side. Oh, do we want to get an advertiser involved, maybe get a little extra cash?
We also had a statement that he put out which now. Yeah, I mean, the marketing marketing people more than PR people he just managed to have on deck Yelp.
How long do you think it would take Cam Newton to write an Instagram post that long. Dude, I'm just how many days I know. No, because this is a perfect crime. Do the math on it because I think that you're onto something. Yes. In order to type all those weird letters in and to write that entire, like, two paragraph statement that he put out, there was enough time that passed between when the video came out and when the Post appeared that I was ready to go.
Hey, wait for the follow up, wait for the follow up. I guarantee you that part of the follow up they have to have Cam Newton. They told the kid, because the kid's villain, number one on the Internet today, like, you know, the old saying, you don't want to be the main story on the Internet today. Like he was the main story for a little bit commune's. Going to take him under his wing. Cam Newton's going to do a fucking E 60 with him.
And Jeremy Schaap is going to be like, oh, this is great. Like what became a viral video has now become a great relationship. And Cam Newton is teaching this kid how to play quarterback. And now this kid has all these D one. It goes fucking deep cut with Tony Dungy.
B, if that's what happened, if like, you know that Tony is on a plane right now trying to find that kid's mentor him, if Cam swoops in, becomes a good guy instead of him, sometimes you can, like, see something in four D and you're you're shocked at your own brain.
This was one of those times for me when I saw this.
I like ah I just ah I am pro talk to people but I'm also pro Cam Newton. Should have just absolutely nuked the kid. Cam should have been able to throw the kid like onto a street just like Cam. You should be able to defend yourself. And it's like jazz from Fresh Prince. Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. Where somebody is being that disrespectful, like I'm a little bit concerned. That's actually what's telling me that Cam Newton isn't healthy, because if he was, he should have just swung on the kid like Josh Norman.
Yes, that's right. Although Josh Norman was laughing at him. But this isn't the first time he's gone into verbal arguments with kids.
I who? Cam Newton. Yeah. Are you talking about the video? Are you saying the commercial? No.
When a little kid being, like, played, there's another video game like why are getting in the face of a kid?
I think he chirps the kids and then they chirp back and he provokes it. Yeah. No, no.
But like the guy talks to you, he's talking about like it was when he gave a ball to someone and the kid took it and he yelled at the kid or something, which was fair.
No, no, no. There's another one. It's it's at a similar camp type thing. This and he gets in the kid's face and says, listen, kid like that. Yeah.
So I think Billy I think I think I know what video you're talking about, Billy. Is that this one? No doubt yelling yes.
Anyway, bye bye. My who's back the week is respecting your elders, our boomer, maybe so you can be my about on. That's it. That's the video you're talking about. Yeah, you're right, he does get in the face. He's got a history that he's trying to find out that he gets in the face of trash talking teen.
OK, it's going to be the video from today. No, it's not. All right. So, Billy, who's respecting your elders?
Well, I see I did some introspection and realized that I may have beat up an old man.
And seeing this Cam Newton video a long time ago, I mean, we've seen this Cam Newton made me realize, like we should really bring back respecting your elders and not to call anyone elderly. Right. But I just think, you know, I need to be more respectful to my elders, OK?
Why? Because that's who. My Hoback. All right. Who would be an example of an elder?
Oh, how old are we talking when we say elder? Elder, I think like grandparents. Yeah. Yeah. Who is older. Like how old?
Like gray hair. Like twenty eight and thirty six now to twenty eight year old and a 36 year old. Just those who have a 20 shot. And you're sweet.
You're twenty eight. Think I'm twenty seven. Are you sure. Pretty sure.
OK, I think the funniest part of that video I think is the fact that Billy also called Hankel. I'm like three years older than him.
Yeah, right. Right. Billy Billy is trying to take our jobs.
Billy Yeah, you are.
You we will do our boss. You know who's getting old PFG Big Cat and Hank.
You being threatened. No, no. Shows weakness. No, no, I'm not threatened now. I'm thinking I'm just I go for the kill. Go. I've seen a little weakness Billy.
You know, it really shows weakness is apologizing. Billy apologized over a group text. We thought maybe it was a moment of growth because you left thirty pounds of rabbit meat sitting in the lobby, which is totally normal thing. I think most kids in their early twenties make mistakes like that, but then you apologize for it. And our initial reaction was like, whoa, Billy, that's impressive. You actually you admitted that you did something bad instead of lying about it.
I actually now I've reversal. I take I think that was a bad a move of you tucking your tail and apologizing.
Now it's just respecting you were such people when you used to lie now.
No, no, no. I just have a problem. I can't say no to people. So if a guy says I want to send you thirty pounds of red meat, I'm not going to say no. Yeah, true. Never say no to that. Yeah. Billy, don't act like getting thirty pounds of dead rabbit in the mail. Wasn't like the best thing that's happened to me.
I have so many plans for Jake.
You got a who's back. Is Billy sucked. Well you took my Billy. I always you always got to come with a couple. I know.
You know, you're the second person to go.
Yeah. Yeah. Nice too. Right. Nice, Jake. Good. I have to.
Oh, good job, Jake. Well, up the score big. Oh that was not intentional. Yeah, that was a good job, Jake. Irate. Jake, great job.
Thanks. One is time lapses. PFG actually pointed this out with the Winter Classic.
Yeah, the Lake Tahoe. Tonight, we're going to talk about the Sun and Gary Bettman with Whitney.
So forget about I was yeah.
It was quite a time lapse, too, is from The Blind Side, SJ Touhy. He got the job as a director of football operations. I've got smiles on equipment from the blind side.
And yeah, he's the son. Yeah. Yeah, brother. Yeah. Terrible. They put that car crash in the movie.
It was like a PG. I never saw the movie. I actually I don't. He's thought the car crash is too violent. I don't I think for a Disney movie, I read the book. It was a Disney movie. I did read the book. I thought it was funny. I read every Michael Lewis I feel like Disney movie in car crashes.
Yeah, I can't speak. I mean, have you seen the Bambi and drove up Lion King?
Oh yeah. You drove up the crowd.
Well, what about what what about when they slaughter young cubs.
Dad in front of them is that they cross the baby when they when they hunt down Bambi's mother and kill her in front of Bambi, that was that that was clearly getting poisoned.
And she falls asleep for the rest of her life, basically. That's also a Disney movie.
How was the movie? Was a good. Yeah, it's great. I didn't see it. Big Mike. I read the book. That's what they call a project for everyone out there.
Just any time Michael Lewis comes out with the book, read it, because it will most likely end up being a movie.
What else do you do? Big short Moneyball. OK, and blindside.
He's he's the book to movie guy. He is the book to movie.
When you got Billy, I got the Cam Newton clip, the first one. OK, that was like four topics to go. Yep. All right. So I got Ryan, Whitney, Billy, Billy, I'll give you a good who's back already know Trent Richardson.
Yeah. Road to King starts now is Mexico's future Hall of Famer.
He's joining the Cardinals. Did Chihuahua of the Mexican American Football League. I want my jersey in this. No, not at all. I would love one of those. But he's I think he's just in. New leagues to join said he can technically say, I'm still a football player, and in the interview with him, he was like he didn't really know what he is going to be doing for the team, which I guess isn't that different from when he was on the Browns.
But he was like, I don't know if I'm going to be playing or if I'm going to be like around the team helping them out in various ways. And then it just evolved into him being like, I got daughters now that are going into high school and they're always on their phones and they don't see me very often. And it just went in these weird directions. And I was thinking like, it's Trent Richardson, OK? Probably not like Trent Richardson went from being really good to just unbelievably shitty.
Yeah, almost overnight. Yes. What happened today?
Well, yeah, I don't know. He just had no vision. Billy, how are the QB breakdowns coming up?
They're going great. Yeah, great. All right, let's get to Ryan Whitney, brought to you by our friends at Chevy Silverado, the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever. The Silverado is strong, advanced, dependable, hard working. This Silverado is dependable. Like the people who drive them. The design is big, bold and commanding.
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Oh, all right. We now welcome on one of our favorite guests. We've been promising the people I don't think I've ever had as many tweets in the past week being like, where the fuck is Whitney? You promised us, Whitney. It is Ryan Whitney.
Spit in the law. You know, I seriously, you are the people's champ. So what is your spit checklist if you don't listen? I mean, everyone in the world listens, but if you don't, it's the number one hockey podcast.
So we want to talk about one podcast in Canada, No. One podcast in Canada.
That's a fact. I have a question. First, though, before we start. Young who who farted? It wasn't me.
It was a great question to tell you who it was. I can tell you who it wasn't. And that's this guy.
OK, I have I have a non hockey question to start. Yep.
You're in Florida right now. Ah. How is the golf game looking? The golf game is nice, I just played in the tournament in Tampa this past week, I'm playing a lot. I think I got some of this like tennis elbow, which is weird. And it's not golfers elbow, but mine's tennis elbow. But it's been driving me nuts. It's been driving me crazy. So I've been ice in that thing, but I'm still playing a lot.
I'm playing a lot.
It's hockey. Tough. Yeah. Yeah. Well, congratulations. Have you played with any famous people?
No, I haven't. I haven't. No, OK.
Oh, I'm hoping to maybe meet meet one famous guy and play with them up. Yeah. Damn.
All right. Well, I'm rooting for you to play with some famous people. Thanks, Dan.
I've got I've got a question for you because people might not know you from doing spin tickets. It might just be like that's the guy from the New Amsterdam vodka commercial that's always on my television. Did you write the line more like Paul missed the net or someone else?
Someone wrote that for you, right? You wrote it himself bit.
We got to that commercial. And it was the longest day in my life. It was we did three different commercials and all the scripts for each commercial was like the corny shit stuff. We'd never say it was just so awkward and business.
Nope, nope. Would never say this. Absolutely not. And he just rewrote the whole thing and he just said what to say at all times, pretty much night at least out of every ten words I said bitch gave me nine of them.
I'm shocked that Paul it was like the main writer.
Did he get credit for for writing is a is a he's a fascinating human being, you know, because he's like a genius in some ways and completely out to lunch in other ways. It's very hard to describe.
But he is very good in terms of like imagination, thinking of things, how to write a commercial, who would have guessed a vivid imagination.
All right, let's talk some hockey. So did you know that the sun exists? So it is a thing.
It gets hot and sometimes in the area that they call Lake Tahoe, it can be warm in the winter.
Yeah, that well, also it comes out in the day. Yeah. So typically around noon like they call that afternoon area. Like that window that's tune and for that's usually when the sun's out.
Yeah. Depends on where you are on the planet. But yeah. You know that's pretty much a solid time point. You got to rely on the sun.
So if people who maybe weren't paying attention this weekend, the Winter Classic is in Lake Tahoe this weekend, it's actually an incredible, incredible like set up scenic views, picturesque, like if you close your eyes and said what an outdoor hockey, a perfect outdoor hockey game would look like, it was this setup. Unfortunately, the sun was out as it sometimes happens on Saturday during the day. And now the NHL has done a bunch of outdoor games. Gary Bettman even said, we've done everything.
We played in snow, we played in rain. But sunshine has always been our enemy and they had to delay the game. So do you guys like playing these outdoor games or is it kind of is it kind of old hat now?
I'm kind of all over the map with this. I got a chance to play in the first one, not to make it about me. Not a big deal I got to play in. The first one is nuts. It was Crosby scores the shootout winner snowing buffalo.
It was perfection how it went now as it went along and it went along like, you know, the classic, which is always New Year's Day.
I actually think it's great because it's something different. Guys do enjoy playing it. And I mean, like, it's people it's right before. Like the Rose Bowl. Yeah, it's a good it's a good time to have it. So I think that's been great. The years have gone on where they started doing, you know, just the way they do the series like the Winter Classic series where the teams are playing games.
They did a game at Air Force, they've done a game in L.A. They've kind of got him everywhere.
So in a sense, like I do feel bad chirping them for this mishap and what happened with Colorado, Vegas. But I mean, it's worked everywhere else. They did one in Dallas last year. It was sick. Dallas, Nashville, we were down there. So I know that, like, the planning sounds ridiculous, but it kind of was the perfect storm of Sun to ruin the game day time.
I think I think guys are a little are probably probably enjoying getting to do it right now because like the you're so boring and they can't leave their hotels and at least this is something different. But I'm sure there's guys I'll tell you, like I said, enough's enough.
I think it's kind of it's lost it's we've lost our course here on the outdoor game.
I kind of agree with you that the New Year's Day one felt special. And then when they needed extra ones, it's like. But and this one, you know, we all had our fun on Saturday with Gary Bettman because it's you can't predict that it's going to be exactly like that, because I think the temperature was it was freezing. So it just the quote that he had when he said if you look up at the sun, the cloud covers everywhere but where the sun is.
And it's like, OK, dude, yeah, that's yeah, that happens sometimes. Oh, well, big hat.
That's how you can see the sun when the cloud doesn't cover it.
So yes, you're looking up in terms of just the actual game. How different is it to play outside versus indoors at the beginning.
It's crazy. I think you get used to it. The day in Buffalo it was freezing. So we had the heat warmers on the bench, football style, and it was like. You ended up getting into it depending if you play the decent amount or not, but at the beginning it is weird and I think like to have the fans around.
And it was it was awesome. And that's the one thing I did want to say about people who chirped the game. Nobody who was at these games is upset about them. Like you tailgate, everyone gets wrecked. It's like it's all about for the people that are there. So then this year, right. Like, I think it would have been even more difficult because you see the guy I see the fans and the people watching this year, you're just looking out on this lake.
And it was probably like actually probably pretty cool, I'm guessing, at the beginning. I mean, I know watching on TV when it came on, I was like, that's this looks credible.
They should never have fans again at these or put them in places that are just picturesque. So I don't know.
I don't know. What was the question again? I don't even remember.
Yeah. Oh, actual playing the game. Is it harder. Oh yeah. At the beginning. But you get used to it no doubt, unless the sun's in your eyes. But that means the clouds aren't covering.
It was actually a very cloudy day for a sunny day. So I do respect the fact that you can't plan on having a sunny, cloudy day.
Well it's like, well, you know, the guy was like, look at the sky. The day is not a cloud in the sky. And then the guy was like, oh, there's one there. Like you kind of. Yeah, thank God.
Have you ever played a game where you have to, like, start and stop? You know, after a period you have to wait, you know, sit around for the entire rest of day?
I was crazy. I've had to wait, you know, weird like in college hockey finals or semi finals. Right. Like you're the second game and the first game went to double triple O.T., I think. So you're waiting around, but like you never actually played part of the game. You never went out and warm up. She hadn't actually skated yet.
So like the thought of them getting undressed, having to dry their equipment, having the trainers to do the laundry and like, get everything redone for just the second period sounded like a nightmare to me because what did you go back and sleep? It's like I guess they approach it like a whole new game, but definitely nothing like that I've ever been a part of.
That's a good question. Like, what are they? Do they do laundry? Do you wash all the jerseys? And then is there time?
I don't. I don't I bet you they probably did wash the jerseys then the laundry like your actual against what you wear underneath. I mean, you're just you got bags and bags that you got your back set for the game. If they didn't want to get it done that quick, maybe they did, though. Guys are very superstitious. Yeah. All right.
So the other big story from the weekend, Sidney Crosby thousandth, when you played with Sidney Crosby I game thousand game sorry, 1000 game, not thousand win Thousand Oaks.
I would have been crazy. You played with him, is he. Where is he on all time hockey players list. And you know what? You're not good at the double question, so I'll just start with that.
I actually crushed double questions. I've really improved since we first met on that. So fuck right off. And I will answer the first part. And that is I actually think it's in no particular order.
I haven't I haven't prepared enough to give you that order. I don't know if I even could do it, but it's Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Sidney Crosby, Bobby or Gaudio.
OK, no particular order. That's your top five. Crosby's in my top five players of all time. OK, what about what about best scores?
Ovechkin I think the best goal scorer of all time. I know he doesn't have the most goals, which he actually somehow might break, although it's a tough start right now for his season goal wise. But Ovechkin is right there with Gretzky and Hall top goal scores of all time.
So you played with one of the top five guys of all time. Oh, did you like what's your what's your best Krosby story? Not even off ice, but like on ice, just how how how it was to play with them. And did it make your job and everyone's job that much easier just having him like on the ice with you?
Well, you know, everyone who listens to spin. Chuckles No, I just say thank Sid all the time. So in terms of making things easy for me, big cat, I am not lying to you. I had ten assists one year that I was sitting on the bench.
Once the goal was scored, I just passed it to him.
I pass it to him in the neutral zone or our own zone, and he's like it.
And then like he ends up scoring or giving it to someone else and I'd be like, you know, goal score by Evgeni Malkin, assisted by Sidney Crosby and Ryan Whitney. I was like, what?
I was like, oh my God, I did give it to him a minute ago. So it's like his is his first I mean, my first memory, like. But before my first memory of, like, hearing about said was like, you know, this kid's the next great one, it's like he's he can't mess. And so, I mean, you've heard of different players before and it doesn't work out, but everything was kind of aligning for him.
And then. The NHL season was canceled, so you couldn't figure out who was going to get the first overall pick for Crosby in the year prior to Pittsburgh, you know, they were so bad.
And I think that they won the lottery. I don't remember they don't remember how they did the Pittsburgh one. My brother came flying blind and I was like, Pittsburgh or Crosby, you're going to play with Crosby? Like, I was like, oh, my God. Like and I had, you know, ever seen the kid play. But all you'd heard is like, this is this is it. So I got to camp and a buddy of mine knows well, she's from Boston.
He's in camp with the penguins to play a little bit with the penguins as well. He was in the group, the first group in the morning. Right. Which is like Crosby's group. And he came off. He's like he's the best hockey player to ever live, like he's doing things.
I was like, what is it? That crazy? And then I got the chance to watch it, see? And it was like a different game. I know. Like people say now, McDavid is doing things that have never been done. Crosby was one of those guys you'll never forget seeing what he's doing so fast with a neutral zone. And then he was enormous, his lower half. He's got a huge, huge legs and he's just like downlow.
You can't get the puck away from him. He's quick. He's like driving off you and just embarrassing guys in practice and games.
And he was all eighteen. It was it was nuts.
I love those type of stories, though, because it is like the guys who are truly special.
I feel like everyone just knows right away and they're like, OK, this is just totally different than anyone else who just shows up at eighteen years old.
Yeah, there was a there was like moments when the guys he's given guys two passes that have, you know, he's given Zygmunt Palfry, Mark Recchi passes where they're almost not even ready for it just because there's no way somebody could have got that puck to me like there was no Layne's, how is it there. And then like so making everyone's life easier. The second year was I think it was his best year in the NHL. I don't know if he'd say that, but he won MVP and that was my biggest year.
That's the only reason I got a contract is that year. And we had this play, right. It was like I was I was back door guy in the power play.
I don't know how I weaseled my way onto his power play. It was Østergaard Gonzales, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Mark Recchi, and then me, the Pigeon. So I'm like playing the off side. And then Crosby's finding me right. If if you know Haughey's, he's on the half hour at the park and I'm going down to the back door, the net and he keeps hitting me. I'm like, not ready for it or I can't handle it.
It's such a hard pass, but it's right on my tape. And the assistant coach, assistant coach Mike Yo, he he's coach is a head coach in the NHL sense, but he's like, you have to learn to like, handle this past. You have to learn to get a shot off. He's going to keep finding you. So he actually helped me a ton. Mike, in practice after practice, sure enough, I started like being able to just like one time these things.
I'm not kidding. You would be a kind of a cross ice pass that I would just have my stick and, like, really firmly hold my bottom hand thing would go up a beat the goalie because the pass was so perfect, nobody could see it coming. So I was able to like, really benefit from getting points and signing a huge contract directly because of him.
How long into his career did he get like did the hazing stop with him? Because I have to imagine if a guy comes in who's that good. Right. And everybody's talking about him like, OK, he's the next Gretzky, he's this young hotshot team, I feel like you guys probably had to break them in a little bit.
There was probably a little element of like we got to make sure this kid doesn't get a big head. No, it wasn't. Nobody was said.
I think I actually think that's a different for some guys. It was like I mean, I'm sure, you know, guys are busting his balls and stuff, but there was no, like, pranks being being pulled on Crosby, really.
He was like, if they were if they were they were minor ones that would laugh like they were ruining my shoes and, like, cutting holes in my suits.
You didn't do that at my age and getting tossed.
We're going to get back to Ryan Whitney. But before we do want to talk to you guys about cause seltzer, we love cause seltzer. It is the coldest tasting seltzer in America. It's the best seltzer in America. Of course, seltzer is legitimately the most refreshing drink that we have in the office. It's way better than all the others out there. It tastes colder. And you know what? It actually it sounds more delicious when you pop the top.
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Now here's more Ryan Whitney.
All right, let's talk some hockey this season. Do you like the set up that like the playoffs set up and how everything is different, where we could actually have a Stanley Cup final, that is to, you know, to east teams, you know, that are usually on the east or to west teams. Do you like that? Do you like that? It's just all kind of chaotic.
I love it.
I think the whole Canadian division is sick. And people people kind of chirp because they get the most love and granted women's hockey in Canada. And I think that Toronto's a wagon, they're nasty, but I don't know how deep the division is. So people are like, oh, my God, they're going to come whoever comes out of that division and they're going to get smoked anyways.
But I'm a huge fan and I know that it sucks for players because like I mean, the blues the blues played the Coyotes seven straight games.
Yeah. It's like this is ridiculous. But I think as a fan, it is like fun to watch.
And the playoffs is what will be what will be crazy, because four teams from each division and then at the end, the final four, you got a winner from each. And it's like all of a sudden the Bruins play the Canadians in the cup final. It's like there's so many different options here that I'm wondering if they'll be able to build on some of it.
I don't know if you can ever, like, actually do this again or you'd want to because you want each guy. You want fans to get the chance to see McDavid and Ovechkin and Crosby like it doesn't make sense. But for this one year, as crazy as it's been, I think it's doing great. And I know there's been madness in terms of like covid, which every sports dealing with cancelations. But in the end, the games are going to get played and Hockey's going on.
So I'm a huge fan of what's going on only because the rivalry is forming and basically the storylines right themselves with these games back to back to back. Yeah.
And the Maple Leafs are really good, but they are I feel like the Maple Leaf as a franchise, at least in America, we don't talk about them as being one of the all time like most heartbreaking franchises to root for. But they've had their moments. They're like they are right up there with a lot of the Atlanta stats that we'd like to throw out of the Minnesota stats that we throw out.
But is this can you give hope to Toronto fans this year or is it a letdown? I think you can.
I think it's six nineteen sixty seven. So what is that? Fifty three. Fifty two. I'm a math guy. Fifty three years.
I mean it's like you don't really remember the Rangers when they won theirs. There was the signs. Fifty four years. Finally like now I can die in peace. Like the Maple Leafs have been pathetic and I wouldn't say pathetic because a lot of years they had good teams couldn't get out of the east. But now they have a team that is like legitimately built to win a Stanley Cup. I think they got and they got Wayne Simmons. They have like toughness.
They got good d their goaltending saw it. And Matthews, I'll say Mana's Martyrs', amazing player Matthews. Right now it's kind of taken over the league, at least goalscoring wise. He's on pace to score fifty five goals in a fifty five game season, whatever it is.
So I've actually come out and said that I'm rooting for the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Stanley Cup to win the Cup this year. That's my team this year. I want them to win. I think this came out and said the same thing. So we're Maple Leafs bandwagon bandwagon guys.
I just like I love their uniforms. I love the history. I love the drama. How like hockey is just if they have a bad game, all these ridiculous nut nut case Maple Leafs fans are saying the team socks. And if they it's just like the passion behind Maple Leafs fans. And that team is so good that I want to see him get it done.
Why do they spell their name first? Why isn't it Maple leaves?
That's a great question, dude. I have no clue. Yeah, I don't know either. Great question. My one Blackhawks question. So this was supposed to be a lost year. They're playing really well. A lot of young guys playing really well. Obviously Tay's, you know, is out and kind of mysteriously, but hopefully he's OK. But are we buying that they could possibly get in the playoffs because it is weird to look at like they've won I think seven or seven the last nine or whatever it may be now, but they also have played more games and other teams that they're around.
So it's hard to like totally judge if they could be in the top four of their division.
Yeah, I said because chiefs been all over them and been loving, like, what kind of team they have or not, what kind of team that but how they play. And I said it's great to watch, but there's there's no chance they're making the playoffs. No, I just don't I just don't see it happening.
There's like the depth isn't there? Maybe if David comes back, but who knows what's going on there. I hope he is all right. But it's still fun because they're like a team that I think not much was expected. And if you ask most Black Hawks fans, they're like the pesky the pesky hawks, like they're not really giving up any games, like they are way more difficult to play against than people thought. And the main reason. Well, the brincat.
Bouncing back here to talk to you after you signed that big deal last year, he's been great, but Kane is just like a different, different animal.
It's like I continually wonder, like, will he slow down? Chicago's not as good. And every year he's right right near the top of the league. It's like a truly Hall of Fame all time. Great player, Patrick Kane. So I think the ability to have him still out there and just generating whenever he wants to score, that's been around spin around the back end goal the other day just does things that like there's very few people in the world that can do it.
So as long as he's there, I guess they'll have a better chance than I gave him.
Yeah. Oh, I just remembered you just triggered my second Sidney Crosby question I was going to ask. I don't know how the Hall of Fame works in hockey. Will you be invited with when Sidney Crosby gets into the Hall of Fame, we'll be part of, like, the crew. I doubt it. Come on.
The only thing I have going for me is like checklists.
We interviewed we interviewed him. He came on he came on that show. You know, obviously he likes BISAN. And I had enough to to have done that show because he's pretty private guy and we were rookies together. So, like, maybe he looks back like, oh, we're the same year we witnessed the NHL together.
I brought him to a bar in Boston. We go waffled.
I mean, I just don't think we're that close that I'm that I'm going to his Hall of Fame game I Hollis Hall of Fame induction.
I always like old teammates. They could just be. Yeah, I know, I know. But like, I didn't win a cup with them. He's won three. So there's so many teammates that want to come. Thanks for bringing it up.
And I just hope I hope that maybe when I text him, when he gets into the Hall of Fame, he text me back. Thanks, man.
I think what you have to do is you just have to make a name for yourself. As the biggest Sidney Crosby supporter in the world.
I like a great way to check guts you guys. That that is that has been like, no, you know, we all talk.
And I also obnoxiously brought up that I am the stand.
But I just heard you say that he's not the greatest hockey player of all time.
Yeah, like, when I ask that, you should be like, no one. No one. And it's not even close. That's wrong. You should say you should be the Sidney Crosby guy. Then you'll get that invitation.
You need to do like you. You guys, you're not a big NBA kind. Pretzel me right now. You're right.
You're not a big guy, but you you need to do is you need to become like the Knick, right. For LeBron, you need to do that for Sidney Crosby. You have stats like ready to go like, oh, you know, you know, everything that is just twisted so that Sidney Crosby is the greatest of all time is indisputable.
If I ask you for who's the best, you're like, yeah, you know, Sidney Crosby actually has if you do it like per game and you break it down like he's actually ten times better than Wayne Gretzky, you need that.
If that gets me to Toronto on whatever night that is probably in like ten years that I will start doing.
We're going to have a run. Yeah. Also write it down on my hand just every day. Just rethink it.
So I guess you need to cut up like highlight reels of what the goaltending was like in the 80s and just show like a bunch of goalies falling on the face and be like, this is who Wayne Gretzky was scoring a very valid argument, right?
Yeah. Oh, Frankie, I thought he could even play in the NHL, I think. Yeah, that was very stupid. Very stupid. This is it true.
Like, how bad were the goalies in the 1980s?
I mean, it's tough to say right now. They look horrific. But how bad do I don't know, like golfers look in the 80s, like they're all like fat slobs, like, I don't know.
It's just what they were back then. I'm sure, like, you look back at offense and say, well, guys weren't making any saves, but their pads were.
They were wearing like Boston Globe's taped around their legs. They didn't even have pads. So now the goal is you came to see the net. It's hard, but they did suck. I mean, there's videos there's plenty of videos of guys in the 70s and 80s scoring Slapshot on the ice. Like that doesn't happen anymore, right?
Yeah, right. I like that. I hate the Boston Globe, too, but I like the visual. Just, you know, getting out there with. Do you think you could play without a helmet? Oh, God. On my ears, I would have tripped over my ear with a call it the Plexiglas ripped right off.
I actually I actually.
Who was I talking? Was there still a guy who's the last guy?
I think Craig MacTavish was the last player. Was he still in league when you were because you got grandfathered? No, no.
I never played against somebody that didn't wear a helmet. But but people would say like he would stand in front of the net and just, like, come off the ships just like straight up like Knicks needing stitches. And it's like forat he's like, I don't care.
Oh, they said they they said Craig MacTavish too would take face offs and just like headbutt the guy with the helmet on, he was taking the face of Jesus Christ.
I love that. That was a grandfather rule. That's like, OK, you know what, you've been playing without a helmet for long enough that the damage has already been done. You're not going. I got grandfather. Yeah, I know.
I got grandfathered in for one thing, which was the I they made people start wearing shields and you come into the league. And I never did until I got sent to the minors at the end where you had to. So I got grandfathered in for one thing. Yeah. OK, so I'm looking it up right now, 96, 97, he plays, I remember like being like I know is there one guy who's not the ballot?
That guy is you're like that guy is crazy. And he probably like that, right? Yeah.
The the the really crazy thing, though, is when the goalies didn't have helmets on because yeah. Maybe it was the 50s, whatever jackpot like whoever started, I don't know exactly what year it was.
And they were shooting it on the ice and they weren't shooting. It is heavy and hard as they are now, but deflections were still happening.
Yes. Goalies are staying there. Get it getting pucks are getting tipped there, hitting shin pads and going flying into their nose so that those are the true lunatics.
Yeah, yeah. It's crazy to think that anybody never like back in the day you didn't sit down and think, maybe if I'm going to play goalie, I'm going to wear a face mask or a helmet like that's. Yeah.
Hey man, you want to play goalie. Like, can I get a helmet pussy. Yeah.
Man card speaking to be a tough guy. Do you, do you think that now you're fighting record wasn't great. Do you think you could have beaten up Jose Canseco that night.
Yeah. The other night. Yeah. Yeah. I mean I would hope so.
I mean, Billy, Billy came at him hard, which was great, but like that guy looked like a stumbling drunk walking out of a bar, walking into the ring.
It's true, Billy. Football Billy football is like this. Billy Football. Think he knocked him out or did you know he took a dove? He's listening right now. Go ahead, Billy. Billy, tell him about it. Tell him what?
He just quit. He he thought I was a joke.
And then I showed up and it wasn't it wasn't taking a dove for the money. Didn't matter who it was. Like, if he know if he didn't think you were a killer coming out, he would have to put on a show.
But the thing is, he really he made a business decision. Yeah. You know, at the end of the day. Well, you were in war mode.
Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night, Billy, I hate when people say to fucking die because the thing about a dove is everyone's on the same page for a dove because you're supposed to make it not look like a dove.
That's the whole point of the dove.
But your mind was switched to the point where, like, you were ready to kill. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, it was very impressive, that opening bell. Boom, you're on you on your toes. Guy jumped. I jump.
Yeah, I was that was the that was the plan. Throw over 100 punches. How much weight did you gain before the fight. I lost the time, yeah.
Billy was strong so you must have been pretty punches in the first round.
That was his plan. I was the target. No, no, that was his team was like under forty.
Dude, I would hit the bag for a minute straight. I'd go out to 114. Yeah, actually no, no.
Those are actually minute 30 rounds. OK, yeah.
I was doing who's next on the card.
I'm waiting for Jake Portaloos to ban and then I'm going to call him out. Hopefully I love it. That's the next step. But he's going to see that fight against cancer. He's got nothing to do with you. Yeah, that's some good tape out there. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it sucks that it wasn't a longer fight.
I feel bad. Like I was there, like, you know, scrap. Right. Get my ass. Like once you got into the ring it was it was war zone. Yes.
With who do you have for winning the. So you're rooting for the Leafs. Yes. But what's your prediction.
I can't I can't like pick against Tampa.
I don't know, like their team is just so stacked like last you saw they were like just heads and shoulders above anyone else and. People kind of saying, well, they don't have to travel all year. I'm like, yeah, that's great. They're going to get them back right, for the playoffs. It's like, perfect. He'll be skating with them, like before the playoffs. He'll be ready to go. And then you just throw that guy in with the team they already have.
So with how easily they kind of got it done last year and especially especially after they went through like they were they were Virginia hoops.
Do they they lost the first chance to play Columbus and then they want it the next year. It was like, so now they're over that hump where it's like, all right, let's get another one.
And they just have such a deep team and their goalie is one of the tops in the league. So I like Tampa, I'm hoping for Toronto. And I think Vegas and Colorado are just going to end up battling it out in the West.
I don't know how that's going to go down.
I don't know who will end up coming on top when they do face each other, if they do face each other. But I look forward to it because the NHL right now is like healthy as it's ever been. I think it's like the league's great.
I think for all the people that, like, bitch and whine and want fighting out of the game, the part the part of fighting that that are gone are probably the part that should should be gone.
And that was like just pre premeditated, like didn't even mean anything, had nothing from the game just to Heavy's just going at it to kind of set the tone for a game. I know that guy's made a living and I respect those guys more than ever, but it was like now you see fights that are happening out of, like, pure rage during the game. That's when it's OK. That's what people really want to see in a sense of what you guys are battling the corner.
All of a sudden, they're just so pissed off. It's just natural. They go. So Hockey has that while also having more scoring and less of like the big time brawls and what what what happened before. So I think it's awesome.
Yeah, I looked up actually Jak's us the reason why the Maple Leafs are called the Leafs, not the leaves, because they're named after you guys have got a staff you guys had you can get that Jak's.
We would be asking that question on Checketts for three more weeks to each other.
I almost wish I didn't know the answer because it's kind of boring. It's just like they're named after a maple leaf, right? They're not named after a bunch of leaves, a singular leader named after a singular leaf. So as a collective whole, they are the Maple Leafs.
I feel like if I use my brain at all, maybe kind of like answer to that, like that maple, there's a maple leaf.
But in your defense, you're just doing an interview. You probably played 36 holes today. Like I didn't like golf today.
I took the day off, was bummed out to his beautiful. Oh, shit. All right. So my last question is, what are you actually shooting right now? Like, what are you shooting in golf? So I just played in a tournament and first round I shot seventy one. I played great. Second round, I shot second round, I shot seventy six. And that missed the cut. It was a good like medium or tournament. So Madames are amateur golfers who are twenty five years or older so that you get rid of the college studs, you know the younger like.
So it's like more like the, it's like men's league for golf but people are good. There's a good field with all these kids have playing USGA events and good big time golf seniors played with a couple of seniors that played in the U.S. Senior Open and I missed the cut. So I was unfortunate. But it's still I played pretty solid. I played so I missed the cut by one or seven.
I need to shoot plus six. Are you like borderline maybe thinking about someday trying to go to like Q school?
No, not even not. So you don't have the balls I killed. Oh no.
I just don't have a game like people.
I actually say a lot that I think that PGA Tour golfers are better at their sport than any other professional athlete is at their sport, if that makes any sense.
If you threw in a scratch golfer. So I'm like a zero handicap. If you threw me in a PGA Tour event, I would stand out. I would look way more foolish than if you put in like a good men's league basketball player in an NBA game. Interesting.
I know that sounds crazy, but does that yeah. Those golfers are those PGA Tour golfers are like plus six handicaps. They're regularly shooting sixty six. Sixty seven at their home course.
It's a different world. So yeah, throw me in an NBA game, I'll look like Shawn Bradley. Throw me on the Taurel shoot. One hundred and quick.
Who do you think what other sport is best for. Like athletes in another sport, best for golfers after they retire.
And have you played with anyone who maybe like retired from their sport now play golf?
Oh, who's awesome? Golfers like famous name Higson. What's his name. Hick's on the Yankees is nasty. Oh OK. He's really good. Who is a small chance? Smoltz John Smoltz played in the U.S. Senior Open.
He's got nice game. I heard MJ is awesome and Michael Jordan is apparently a very good golfer.
I heard he likes to gamble on the course.
Who else? Steph Curry. Charles Barkley sucks. Oh Steph Curry is really good. Apparently one shot. Yeah.
Apparently Barkley used to be like a legitimate good golfer. I don't know what happened. He lost the game. Romo's good. Romo's played some sick amateur events. Yeah, probably. Probably events that he has no business in, like playing with college kids and then finishing last like, dude, you're not that good.
But no to Jordan. You've never played with Jordan? No. Oh, someday, hopefully I'm their voice someday. Maybe that be a dream. A bad dream. It's a dream to come on your part again. I feel like it's been fucking ten years since Busi and I sat in that no hold office.
I know that you guys had an eye on kind of just get like get check. It's a little bit pardon my take love. And ever since it's been we're always chasing you guys down, number one.
Well, you guys got you feel you feel like you got a bull's eye on your head. Yeah. From from football. Who's sitting right next to me. He called us old to Erica. Can you believe that? Really.
You know who fucking butters your bread, your muppet buddy.
I was your party. He just hit you with a buddy. Who did you buddy? Was that nerit? That was a buddy. You buddy me. He buddied me. I didn't buddy.
What do you say. You said I was gonna.
I promise I'm not funny. Oh no, no, no. I'm getting Broden body by Billy fucking football. I was talking, I was talking to Big Yo. That's even worse, that you don't even get your body in your boss, you know?
Look, I stay away forever and I say no again, I swear his praises for, like, the whole interview.
And I just say one thing about me basically being younger than these guys and they just won't drop it.
Oh, it was interesting to see. You know, I know why why lions kill their young sometimes.
Oh, and you also know, like, who ends up taking the two power kings down?
Part of my take, the guys from within, you know, and Billy also gave big cat coronavirus and tried to kill him.
So like it's all adding, though, I'm a parasite on this operation. If the host dies, I die.
Interesting. All right. Well, hopefully we see a March Madness. I'm going to be there. I'm going to definitely be there because I don't know if you know, I'm a Chelsea football fan. Yes. And and I'm coming when they play Arsenal next in May and I'm going to fucking stop on Zord Troop.
I don't know if you know, but I'm the number one troops troll, so I'll I'll tell you all my lessons.
Oh, so you almost feel much better from you, but I'm going to have my team will put on them and my team looks nice.
I mean, like Arsenal, a joke of a club. I'm really into football now. Soccer, so I'm even native fish. I'm calling it football.
It's it's not you. Do you actually watch the games every game? No, you don't.
Every single game since I started watching Chelsea have watched and I watch most Premier League games.
I love that they're on in the morning. Yes. Weekend. Yeah. And then Wednesdays and stuff like three o'clock.
It's I'm sure I'm all in on soccer. It's crazy. I find myself watching games, not even Chelsea games on Wikipedia. And guys, I love the drama. I love how the managers are like these, like Hollywood, like celebrities.
It's just it's just awesome. They call it the beautiful game, I think. Yes.
Jogo Bonito. No, it actually is the fact that it's on in the mornings. Like you just pop it on. Oh, it's actually the best, like background noise sport there is.
Yeah. And the no commercials thing sick and it's cool to wake up and just see a ball moving on grass.
It's very refreshing for a hang. Is it just it does ease you into your Saturday.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I love it. I will. Thank you. You're the best man my guys. Great. Great catching up with you guys. I'll, I'll see you soon. Hopefully I will see him and see you boys.
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OK, let's do some segments and send everyone on their way.
Just a reminder, go subscribe to macro dosing with Patty and Aaron Foster will vary and Foster on the show on Wednesday.
Let's Hanks' been coughing a lot recently. Hank Aaron.
I got the antibiotics. No big deal. Soon as Billy. I don't I'm I'm exposed.
Billy and I are just fucking we basically we we're so bad ass. We created our own vaccine. That's only it's just really good for six months or so. Yeah.
All right, let's go. We got talking tennis.
Oh my God. No, Joe. Wait, what's his name.
Novak Djokovic. You would have gone there. I was going to say I was going to say go back. You know, Josie Jovic, smoke a bitch. I definitely thought his name was Dubek. All right. Novak Djokovic. I am the number one drawback. Djokovic fan out there. He wins his eighteenth championship. Right. Eighteenth title, eighteenth major. Major.
What do you call him in tennis? I don't know. Slam. Grand Slam. He's the fucking goat.
Suck on this, dick. Jake. What?
What, you don't think I mean, you don't think he's a goat or because you're Federer guy. I know you.
I like a mile away. You been you have the RF hat that you wear. My brother. You're fucking playing tennis over time. Yeah, I know the tone. I can't wait.
You're not a Rafa guy. I to a fellow lefty.
I thought you were Arafa guy. I think I'm Arafa almost Roloff. You had.
No, that's bullshit. You cannot like both Rafa. In fact, you have to hate one to pick one pick. So that's so soft if you like fed them. All right. Federer got so suck on this dick.
All right. I mean, what more does George Bush have to do?
Just keep winning all the fucking tournaments he's won four. Has he won and Roger have twenty.
OK, so he's not there.
Djokovic is eighteen. He's only eighteen.
He is thirty three. OK, so they are going to get there. Roger. Thirty nine Rafa. He got thirty four.
However I didn't see that it was three thirty in the morning.
I was not up unfortunately I that got booted back up but I think that's a vaccination. Yeah. Probably. You probably reintroduced covid to the Rafa. Roger, it's hard, but at Roland Garros, the French Open, Rafa literally wins every time. Well, guess what? In Australia, something could do at Sydney Doble wins. Every single European won seven in a row island.
Rafa is beat. Federer at Wimbledon.
Has he not beat each other? Novak has beaten Federer at Wimbledon as of yet.
That's what got into town, has delivered beat Rafa at the French. No one beats Rafa exactly like a specialist.
It's different than everything else. Competition close to the actual fifth grand slams coming up.
Miami, what is that? Wait, no. No, you can't. This is the biggest non grand slam on your home court.
Yeah, they do it. It's really cool to do it on Hardrock Stadium where you haven't even said what's the name of the tournament?
Of course, the Miami Open. You see Miami Open is the fifth grand slam. Yeah, I doubt that. I highly doubt that. Google I'm going to Google the fifth grand slam tennis.
They're going to say that our Indian wells, which is right before it, the fifth grand slam tennis is. Oh, conveniently, when Wendover did win a French Open Indian wells, Rafa heard his little Wist bullshit, but if he's healthy for Roland Garros, he will win it.
NOVAK No, Rafa I do respect, tovarich. Yes, I am fascinated by anybody that can become like how many millions of dollars has he won? Probably like including endorsements. You have to think he's probably made like 100 million dollars.
He's not endorsed like Rafa or Federer. Federer, bad boy. Yeah. So he's got.
Yeah. He can't he can't have like the watch companies. He's got my putter does. Yeah. Yeah. My pillow. That's basically it. You can't get like Rolex behind you if you're an anti Voxer. But I respect somebody who's that rich but that committed to just posting all their worst ideas. Yes. Yeah. All you have to do if you're Novac is just like not post your ideas, but he's so addicted to the online lifestyle and getting those all that bad boy street cred that he's like, you know what, I don't give a shit.
If I can't get sponsored by, like, our block, I'm going to fucking get these these autism takes off my chest.
I agree that there are certain athletes that it's like, you know, oh, shut up and dribble. I want athletes to say whatever they want. And I want really dumb athletes like Djokovic.
I want them to be louder. Yeah. Yes. Johnny Damon, who we're talking about earlier, I want them to be as loud as possible because it's funny.
Yes, exactly. All right. So those talking to us Soko on Hanks' Girl. Hey, shocker. Well you know what I mean. Like when he's a Hank.
Yeah sure. OK, yeah. Oh yeah. Nice. Yeah.
Darren tweet anything about Novak being a bottom tier human being.
Now he posts that have way too long Instagram story of his kids birthday parties.
You see it. Oh shit. Well, since you said his name, I just why should I have to brand myself? I want to disagree with one thing.
He was like, if the only reason you're getting into Bitcoin or Topshop is Topshop top shot is that those are the only group shot.
Not to talk about it. I know, but top shot. This is different ways that might go to the hologram.
There was a point made that yet the top shot, the trading and trading cards, the only reason you're getting into it is a fear of missing out. That's the wrong reason. No, no. That's exactly the only reason to get it. The only reason get into all of these things is that you don't want to someday be pumping the gas for a fucking Bitcoin billionaires.
But yep, I don't want to be a sucker or I don't. I will freely admit I do not understand what this is. I don't think I ever will get it. But I do know that I'm going to pretend like I correct. I just know that it's so advanced thinking that if I don't get it, I need to get behind the people that do get it.
If fear of missing out isn't your main motivator to do pretty much anything in life, you're not living a correct life. It's therapeutic watching other people open packs of cards.
I don't get that. I said I don't understand the Asmar thing. The sound. Is it the sound that you like or is it like I wonder what they're going to take out.
And just like also there's something hilarious. I've watched a bunch of different people do it. There's something just oddly therapeutic about someone being like, all right.
And we have, you know, OK, Marvin Jones. And then we have a Quenton Nelson. Oh.
And then they stop it like a random card. We're like, oh, Amari Cooper. OK, that one's a keeper. It's like, what? What are we talking about, huh?
Why where who's deciding this? I like the momentary rug's and just going through it. The only part I like is the moment where they realize what they have before you see what they have. Yeah. Like this is that moment.
Presume that's a cool moment, but I don't, I don't get the whole like watch you don't watch another man open up packs of his own baseball cards. Yeah. Like what do you get out of that.
I would actually like to. Our good friend Tony Sheffler is actually a big card guy. We should probably get him back on to have him explain to us. He actually has like he he does it the way that I, I can understand because it's got a mix of gambling in it where he has, like he was saying, like, oh, I have a bunch of Tom Brady rookie cards.
I want him to win a Super Bowl here because then it's another like five thousand. Yeah.
What we should do, our own was highlight things, top shots. We should make part of my take. Top shots. Yes. And mine them.
I still don't understand what it is or how it works, but I just know that like if they're doing it for XYZ on what we should do it too. Right. Maybe, maybe me not farting would be worth 100000 dollars one or you farting 200000 didn't fart.
But the other video still is still this is still happening between you two.
Did you see the other video? Apparently the exact same fart sound effect turned up on a different barstool video that got put out like a year ago.
So, I mean, I have not heard that at all. You just made that up. No, I didn't. What the video to make that happen. Yeah, I haven't. Did you see the other video that the er. How how about another. Come across my desk, still have tensioned. OK, that was in it was a resounding yes. I tell you what, the other angles and when everyone was clearly like, oh, it's definitely his ass is closer to the microphone.
I wish I wish I had him. I really do. All right. Well, maybe Wednesday you guys will have cleared this up. Something better than a little fart I'm going to fart on.
Hey, do it a foreigns chair before the next podcast. OK, all right. You have a money reading for us? I do. This is a great Monday reading. Monday readings are back. This was on CNN Health. The headline is The New Slang Teen, The New Slang Teens Used to insult boys who are too nice to girls. If you're guessing that this is about sympathy and the sympathy epidemic that's going on across America, you are 100 percent correct.
Shannon was used to her socially awkward son being bullied by other boys at the private school he attends in Atlanta. But when she picked him up from school in mid-January and her eighth grader told her he was being called a simp, Shannon, who's only using her first name to protect her son's identity. Yeah, great piece of parenting. You wrote an entire essay like about your son being called A Simple Way.
Did she give us the location? Yeah.
Lana Shannon, an Atlanta suburb with an 8th grade, socially awkward, eighth grade, eighth grade son at a private school. No one's going to figure this. Never, never that.
We probably have a shitload of eighth graders in the show right now.
Yeah, if we might be outed. If your mom's name is Shannon and you live in Atlanta, like, okay, I'd be like be like, mom, you strip. You outed me as a symptom.
He's telling me this.
This isn't an AWOL. That would be a bad look for us. It would disavow. He's telling me this and I'm driving and I'm trying to make sense of it. She said I'd never heard the word. He told me it basically just means that I'm being too nice to girls because I like them.
She said I was like, wait, my kid is being picked on for being nice to girls. Now, I could understand maybe why a parent would get confused by that. But yeah, at the end at the end of the day, that's essentially what it is like.
I'll put it this way.
Joseph in the Bible was world class cemp. Yeah. They don't name any buildings after that. You don't have Joseph doesn't get shit. People forget about Joseph.
He was basically there to hold Mary's hand at birth and then what kind of a book he did he got. Is he the same as the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Yes. Joseph and the Technicolor Dream.
So he did get a sitcom. He got a coat you got to figure out. OK, yeah, OK. But yeah, like something it's not a new phenomenon. It's what I'm getting at. Her son had told her recently, he's he's recently been put in the friendzone by one of the girls.
Oh. Oh wait.
If you tell if you, if you're complaining to your mom that you're in the friend zone, that's like you're now actively sipping your mom. Yeah. Where's the dad?
Here. Hmm. Let's see. Here we go.
Because this is here's a quick here's a quick way. If you're a parent, mom, if you're listening, Shannon, which I assume you are native, AWOL as well, when your son brings it up, you should just simply ask, Will, is she going to fuck you?
And if he says no, then yeah, he's not going to fuck you, dude. Yeah, that's that's how it works.
So you do all these things as a parent to raise your kid. Right. To be nice to everyone, especially kids without many friends, Shannon said. And you never think that by making your kid the nice one, you could be making them a target for bullies.
Well, yeah, if you make your kid super nice and this is this is actually now bumming me out, because if he doesn't have brothers as a father, this is going to be my nightmare.
Because when you do like raising your kid to be a good person, it's hard enough. And then they get bullied for being a simp.
This could also be a product of being raised by a mom whose first instinct when her son is being so showing simple like tendencies at school is to write a letter to CNN Health Dotcom about your son. Yes. So what is definitely Simms's mom? Yes. What is a simple. Well, many parents might be unfamiliar with words cemp chances are your tween or teen has used or at least heard the term simple hashtags are rampant on tick. Instagram has over 350000 posts tagged hashtag and there are Facebook groups devoted to simps and simple.
It can be a verb to. I need to get into one of these Facebook groups that easy? Yeah, simple and easy, but it's necessary. Urban Dictionary is top definition of as simple as someone who does way too much for a person they like. Other definitions include a man who puts the hose before the brose and the guy that is overly desperate for women, especially if she is a bad person.
Wait, say that first definition again. Who is before the first definition?
Someone who does way too much for a person they like. What's the opposite of that? I think the opposite of that boy is a fuck boy. Oh boy. Are just say fuck boy, you do nothing for us and you don't really like us.
I sent for you guys sometimes. When was the last. Time you sent for me. I would actually, you know what, put that on your to do list Simsim for me and pfft, once a week straight up, I want you to straight up sympathy's. I pressed him so hard practice, practice it, I feel like you haven't sent for us in ages. I've been busy, OK, so make some time to sympathize with growing up.
I want one on Friday, every Friday show. I want one like actual tangible evidence of you sipping for us. I think, you know you know, you can't do this.
You can't do it like that. You know, you should be like that. Hat looks amazing. Thank you. Thank you. On our anniversary on our podcast anniversary on February twenty ninth 29th. You should simple you just simplist every year on our anniversary. OK. Yeah. Keep things spicy. Simple is a slang person for a man who is desperate for attention and affection of someone else. Typically a woman. Think the energy of a puppy dog eyes but manifest in romantic human form.
It's use an insulting manner, though typically playful, there are definitely undertones of toxic masculinity. Oh yeah. Since it's related to showing too much emotion. Florida mother Karen McClung first encountered the word in group chats she closely monitors with her 11 year old daughter and 12 year old son. I saw the word and quickly looked it up, said McClung, who lives in Tampa. I asked my kids what they thought it meant, and my son said, It's basically if you had a thousand dollars and you could do anything with it, you'd use it to get the attention of a girl.
Then everyone would make fun of you when you go. That's that's a good answer. You've got a really smart kid here, that kid. Yeah. Explain to us like we're a seventh grader that that's it. And then McClung blocked the thread while she said her son wasn't being called a simp in the thread, McClung said she's curious to see how it impacts my son because he's very chivalrous by nature.
Oh, is this is this is Buster Bluth. Yes. Some other boy. We yeah. The mother for. Absolutely.
Girls in high school, sometimes throughout the term to their high school girlfriend. Some kids I've talked to have said it's not a derogatory term. It's sort of like teasing someone like you've left us to go hang out with your friends. You're skimping us.
Hmm. I actually don't think it's that bad. I simps so hard for Chipotle. Yeah, you do.
For people so hard than you do for us.
The moral of the story is I never show anything that you like, any sort of respect or admiration.
Teach this kid a little thing about irony. Yeah. OK, you guys, simple sports. We all up sports. Correct.
Fellas, is it okay to tell a girl you like her? That's basically that's what this article should be called.
Jake Simps Federer fucking clown suck this. You do seem Federer hard. It's so simple. Is now just becoming fan.
Who do you most in the in the broadcasting world, Cecilia. I don't want to know no one. Bob Costas. Kevin Hart. I can't pick one. Give us the number one. Pick one. Come on.
Everyone who's done it to our nice student radio station giving us opportunities throughout the years.
Jesus Christ, you OK? So now there's kind of a spin zone to simply one way to think of a simple said Sean Davis, a marriage and family therapist in Sacramento, California, is simply someone who is ahead of their time, though it hurts in the moment. And the big picture, a boy who is called a simp can wear it as a badge of honor. We read that guy's title again, a marriage and family therapist and some guy get paid way too much money.
Yeah, we're doing nothing for basically being like, here's an acronym to remind you simply ahead of their time. So actually, that guy is running an awesome scam. He's literally telling kids, like, if you get caught. That's actually really cool.
Yeah, that's pretty fantastic. Yeah. And he's going to get a lot of kids a lot more beat up than today's boys are being raised in the middle of the biggest redefinition of male gender roles in recent history. Should I be kind and sensitive or distant and aloof when trying to win a partner? Absolutely. Just in love.
Never tell anyone what you're really feeling.
Never text back. Hmm. Heaven and heaven forbid you do cunnilingus.
Go to your biggest, go to your fucking deathbed without ever telling anyone what makes you happy. That's how you live.
That's how you get the most out of life. That's that's how you live a fucking life. Yeah. You want to make sure when you were gasping for your last breath before you say, I can't believe we didn't have March Madness in twenty twenty, you are telling everyone everyone's like someone brings you something like your wife of seventy years brings you a cookie and you're like I never even like these.
This is you send it back. This guy, this guy is great. So he has he's got a tactic that he uses to I guess he does some conversion therapy.
Oh this guy, like I said, the biggest scam artist ever. I could tell by the title, it's it's called The Humor Tool. So he invented jokes. OK, it's comic relief. You practice not putting down the other person. You put down the situation if someone is being called out for always sipping the girls. He could turn it around and say it's tough being the lone soldiers, nice guy who wants to join me, you can turn it and make it into comedy.
What's what isn't funny? It's not funny at all, you have to say, is simple and easy, simple and easy. Now, give me that guy's fucking paycheck. That's it. Seriously, that's it. Like that is all you have to say.
Shannon said that her son's therapist advised similar tactics, but the boy said he only comes up with the perfect retort three hours later was George.
Because, I mean, the kid is a simple I think parents sent their kids.
Yes. Way to point out the point. Where do they learn it? Yeah.
Look at you. Sharon cares way too much about her sons.
Oh, you you actually hug him and say you love him. I bet she lets him, like, feed from her breast. Sharon's son definitely doesn't play football. No.
Billy, Billy's prescription bill, he was a doctor would just be like meet violence, beat contact sport, go outside, feel some pain and then eat the flesh of something to get its power.
Love like we have sarcasm. We're being pretty, like pretty.
You know, obviously this is a ridiculous article and and, you know, dripping with sarcasm.
And Billy is like, actually, this kid needs to get his fucking teeth one time and he'll learn it.
It's been really heartbreaking because I know a lot of these boys bullying him. He's been at the school since sex.
She just won't be sad if their mom's knew they'd be horrified. But my son doesn't want me to tell them because it will just get worse.
As a father, this hurts. That's hurts me because I will fight. They will fight.
They're probably not even teasing and they're just trying to get him to stop simply because they know he'll get hurt and they can't show him too much love to try to get him to stop them because then they become the same. OK, so here's is at the end.
There are so right. So here's here's the solution.
Shannon, get him a prostitute.
Well, I'm being serious when everyone's like, hey, dude, you keep sending all these chicks you like.
You know what else I've done fucked me.
And in eighth grade, at the aim of that is the end of the argument game over. Seriously?
I mean, I obviously don't because, you know, it's a minor and all level legalize. We're not trying to crystal Delia or whatever the fuck that was a while ago.
College got him a Wayfair cabinet. Get him away. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't pick up on that right away. You. No, but yeah, no, you know what you should actually do. So don't do the prostitute. That's legal wrong.
All those things are send him to summer camp somewhere far away so he can make up a story about how he fucked.
That's a good idea. That's it right there. I would also say get him either like a guitar or some sort of painting kit, because any child that's going through, like emotional turmoil is probably end up being a good artist.
After it's all said and done or five or perhaps five, please make sure he gets the first five. Get them. Yeah. Just get them a war zone.
Tell tumbling down the sticks with us. We'll take we'll straighten him out real fast.
God damn it. That actually bummed me out. That article like thinking about parenting through ticktock and all this shit. I'm fucked.
Yeah. What are you going to do about that. Are you going to blow certain hashtags. I'm.
You know, if your son would probably be dead by Capstone's whatever I will, I will tell you if your son starts to show early signs of. Yeah.
Damn it, man, this is going to be tough. It's going to be tough as a father is going to be tough.
I'm now scared what I am. This is reading that it's going to be way worse in 15 years. Like the world's not going to be better. You think we're trending up? Oh, yeah, we are.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're trending. No, I would be shocked if our society around 20 years, our society is trending into the toilet.
So in 12 years, when my son has to go through like middle school and high school, it is going to be a land in 20 years.
That kid that bullied Cam Newton, that's going to be like the nicest kid in America.
Yeah, no, I'm just thinking, you know, the kids who were born after the Internet, who grew up with the Internet, who use the Internet, they I don't think it's us.
Right. Not not not me.
Not big. Yeah, well, I even like you know, I remember like. No. Yeah. Do you remember life without the Internet. Without iPhones. That's different. That's right. But the kids growing up with that, they're going to adapt once you get your first phone.
I got a Nokia in third or fourth grade, but I took I took the subway.
I took the subway. But I got my first one was 18. No, I had a Nokia just could make calls because I took the snake on it.
When did you when you have social media. When you get to Facebook. Thirteen.
Right. You have you had the Internet. But I understand what you're saying, but it is a lot more prevalent and pervasive. But I was born of the perfect time because I just like, you know, little kids. Just watch iPads.
You said you had a fucking phone in there in third grade. Weren't you born in like September of 2001? You know, like literally.
I was born January 13, 1999. Oh, OK.
So no, but like I did like I did stupid shit, like to entertain myself when I was little. Yeah, we know.
I know. You still do that. I don't feel like I was in one of these. I believe what you're saying right now is like you were you were born into the Internet. You're now changing it to be like I was not ever like iPhones came out and it became super portable. But then, like, twenty years from now, people are gonna be like, oh, I wasn't even born to the Internet because, like, I didn't get my first brain implant chip right until I.
Well, I'm surprised my generation still, like, knows how to entertain themselves without technology. That's not true.
That is one huge. You you scroll your phone all the time. Yeah. I be like me saying that I'm on my phone all the time to know that I can entertain myself with my phone.
How. Jacking off lift. Oh I like what.
No I mean you do know how to play card games. You lift, you know how to lift. Well that's entertaining. How many. But think about it, think about it for a second in a given week when you are not don't do sleeping obviously don't do driving everything else. How many times are you using some type of electronics, whether it be playing video games on your phone, like it's the majority of the time listening to music come out?
Yeah. All the time, 90 percent of the day, it's not a bad thing, but it is what we're saying is our society.
What to you I've been doing recently, I've been not using the GPS.
I heard that your brain atrophies from GPS because your navigationally you come on, Mercado's, you I can't believe I'm going to give you a nice commentary or you give us some type of line that always just tells you, all right, time for the show to be over like you are a you got to exercise the parts.
Yes. I was an actress from your long time. You're a hunter gatherer instincts droid by your phone.
Hang 17 is on the thing thing 18, 18, 13. Thirty six fully sticks are made out of beef pizzle, which is really beef penis.
Subscribe to Mercado's love you guys shout to Wailin Patta gone for this on Instagram Whalan to end Cadigan for this take on the remix.
Well, Chad, the jack goes the bride, no luck, so we wore big pants to the Vegas club, jumpsuit our shades on his eyes and now wants to know if the cowboy hat guy looks like Kenny Chesney drug dealer Z 50 or Z Rip Waler. But no one's going to still try this 15.