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As-can be. Visit carvana. Com or download the app to get an instant offer today. On today's part of my take, we have an awesome show for everyone. We have our good friend, Stavi Babe Stavros, Halquius in studio. Talking about his new special, talking about the NFL, talking about everything. Flacko. Flacko. Great interview with Stav. We also have one question with a quarterback. The quarterback that just won the Heisman Trophy, Jaden Daniels. Shout out to our guy, Jaden Daniels. We're going to talk Monday Night Football, Giants, Titans, Showhey, Hotseq, Cool Throne, guys on Chicks. It's a great, great Wednesday for pardon my take. It's all brought to you by our friends at Proper Number Twelve. Rich and Smooth. Proper Number Twelve Irish Whisky, new smooth to the core, Proper Number Twelve Irish apple, new crisp and fresh. Proper Number Twelve Irish Apple. It's founded by Connor McGregor. It is the most delicious whiskey. I drink it every single Saturday for the College Football Show. For every bottle sold, a donation is made to support our brave first responders. Shoot your shot, a Proper Number Twelve Irish whiskey. Today, Proper Number Twelve, I'm telling you, it's whiskey season, Thanksgiving to Christmas, peak whiskey season.

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Route down to Electric Avenue.

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Take.

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Route down to electric avenue.

It's a part of my take, this isn't about martial sports.

Welcome to Part of my Take. Today is Wednesday, December 13th, and Tommy DeVito has taken the world by storm. Hey. Hey, Pazam. Him and his agent, who was straight out of central casting with the hat, his dad kissing everyone, the giants beat the Packers. What a night.

He's the second quarterback, I think, who went undrafted to win three games in his rookie season. Three in a row. And three in a row. It's wild. He's playing really good. He's fun. That's the thing. He's actually a very entertaining quarterback.

To watch. He's a very fun quarterback to watch. Our friend Kevin Clark's put it perfectly. I saw last night when Tommy DeVito Mania was happening, and we will talk about the other game. He said, Every other sport is absolutely desperate to generate stars. The NFL is like the giants have an Italian guy and it's a national story. That's it.

That's the.

Perfect place for him. Yeah, they're like, How can we get Mike Trout more visible to the nation? Or the NFL is just like, Hey, this guy likes Cutlets and his dad kisses people. He's taking the world by storm.

It's like the What if Michael Vick was white? What if Mike Trout was Italian? He would be a mega star. Can you imagine? With the Tommy DeVito thing, if you took this script to Hollywood, Big Cat, what would they say? They would throw it out. They would throw you out. They'd say, Bing Kingsley passed, but we saw Lindsay Lohan. What a piece of ass.

Yeah, it also is perfect because stereotypes usually are frowned upon in 2023. Italians are the one people that you can stereotype and it's somehow fun and funny. That's true. Max, I'm an Italian father. I'm a proud Italian father. My children are all Italian. What are you saying? I can't say it?

No, you can say whatever you want. You're an Italian father.

Yeah. I'd say- I'm not in the family, but I'm a consiguliary for them. I'm Tom Hagen here.

You can do Polish, too.

Polish? Yeah, but Polish still play. Polish get a little upset. Well, they're maybe not smart enough to get upset.

Yeah, they don't get the jokes.

Yeah, right. But Italians, for some reason, it's just like you can always just have fun with Italians because it's this weird blend of making jokes, but it's also just the pride. Like, Italians like, Yeah, we're prideful people. We eat cutlets, we throw touchdowns. Sunday dinner. Sunday dinner, we kiss our dudes.

I also think it's that Italians are also probably the most like that towards every other culture. Correct. It's like, okay, they'll take it back.

It's also true. It's also true. Italians, they make jokes, they bust balls. We're just.

Busting balls.

Yeah, we're having fun with the guys. As a 1% Cicillian, I give people permission to make fun of Tommy DeVito.

Little Sunday gravy and bust some balls.

It feels good. But it's in a good way. It's in a loving way. Tommy DeVito has given us a gift this year. Yes. He has made the New York giants entertaining in a year where they have no business being entertaining, and you're rooting for him. Deville told him before that final drive, just go out there and rip that son of a bitch. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's a great story. It's perfect that it's happening in New York.

And it's also, Brian Dable deserves a lot of credit because I don't think he was ever going to get fired. But there was a world where the giant's season was trending in such a disastrous way that the question was being asked. Like, This is a joke. They went to the playoffs last year. Are they going to end up with two wins? Are they going to look this non-competitive in games? What he's done with Tommy DeVito, I mean, Daniel Jones, it would be a real shame if Daniel Jones slipped and fell, ended up in the Marshes. That's all.

I'm saying. It's all I'm saying. Tommy DeVito around the holidays, you know how they always get the local quarterback to hand out turkeys and shit out of the back of a semi-truck? What if he was just handing out VCRs, televisions out of the back of a truck and come by, swing by the parking lot outside the mall?

Yeah, a couple of four. Well, the family hands it out cutlets at their family to all get in. Yeah, it was a whole thing and their family is so funny. I'm going to say it's not zero % chance that someone puts a horse head in Daniel Jones's bed. It's not zero. It's not. It definitely is not zero. I think it's maybe one %, but it's not zero. I think he'd rather be- Or send him a fish in the mail?

He'd rather the team lose every game.

Yeah. Tommy DeVito is like he's captured the hearts and minds of the entire tri-state area. And he's also- Any Italian. -any Italian.

He's their hero. If Daniel Jones just had a more ethnic sounding name. I don't think that there would be this much uproar over Tommy DeVito because we got our guy coming back. But now you got a guy named Daniel Jones that looks like- Went.

To Duke. Yeah, it's like, Ellis Island versus the Mayflower.

Yeah, he looks like a white-collar criminal, right? Yeah. Right. As opposed to the guys that take from those guys. Yeah, right. Tommy DeVito is Robinhood in this situation.

Yeah, Daniel Jones should just be like, Can I be your lawyer, Tommy DeVito? Yeah. That's my future. But yeah, it was a very fun game. The giants. It was also just this whole weekend in football was such a good reminder that even at the end of the season, teams are still trying. Tanking doesn't really exist unless you're the Carolina Panthers because the Packers went from Sunday Night, Chiefs, huge win. Oh, my God, look how good they are. I was saying it to a complete fall in their face. Jordan Love did not look good. Their defense did not get a sack on Tommy Divito, I believe, which the giant's offensive line is like, I mean, Justin Pugh was on the couch a month ago, and they didn't get a sack. Now the Packers are looking like, Oh, shit. Maybe we read the press clippings a little bit. Maybe we got a little ahead of ourselves.

Yeah. Last night was also like a stroke of genius from Roger Goodell that he's going to think that he did a great job because we had two Monday Night Football games, which absolutely snuck up on America. We're like, Wait, why are we doing these two games at the exact same time this week? That doesn't make any sense. They were awesome games. The endings to these games were incredible.

They both could have been fine.

On their own. They were doing fine on their own. People are going to be talking all week about what a great Monday night we had. Goodell is going to be like, Yep, I did it again. Now we're going to do two Monday Night football games every week. I'm fine with that. That's the future. I'm calling it in the future. It might not be next year. It might not be the year after. Gadella is going to want to try to get two Monday Night football games. I don't know if it's a good idea. In fact, I think it might not be a great idea, but the fact that these two games were so good, it's going to make him think like this was the best idea.

Of all time. I would be in favor of it if they did a little bit of a stagger. Stagger it. Stagger, even an hour. Even an hour because then just gives us an extra hour of football to end the weekend.

Let's be honest, even if it was just back-to-back games, I would watch that. Oh, yeah. Give me five.

More hours of-Yeah, if one ends at 1:00 in the morning, fine.

Easy. I'll stay up. I moved an hour west just for this exact scenario.

Yes. That was the Sergio, Dip game.

Yes.

The late Monday.

Night game. Yes, it was. That was 9/11. Yeah. Sean McDermott tried to warn us about Sergio, Dip.

He did. The Packers are still in the playoffs as of right now, but that was definitely like they could have seized everything with the fact that the Lions lost and the Seahawks keep losing. They could have put themselves in a really nice spot. Now they're like, Now they got to win. Now they got to… It's hard to win out. They don't have to win out, but they can't drop two more now.

It's a big week for the bears, too. I mean, the bears might- Bear's.

In the hunt. -a little. I've thought about it. It's one game at a time. They have to beat the Browns. If they don't beat the Browns, then it's just like this is all… But if they beat the Browns, then I'm going to start thinking about playoffs. That's smart. You have to get through that hurdle and the Browns are really good to get to a point where I can start realistically. I'm having fun with the In the hunt. I'm not actually thinking playoffs right now. They have to beat the Browns to.

Think playoff. In the hunt, though, you are in the perfect scenario where you can root for being in the hunt. We were talking about the other week with in the hunt being such a powerful narcotic if you're a fan of one of those teams because it gives you the illusion that you're good when you're actually just wasting your time and get a worse pick. But with the Panthers being such dog shit, you can enjoy all the fruits of being in the hunt. You get them both. And you get both. It's the best of.

Both worlds. Credit to Matt LaFloor, by the way. He did kick a field goal down eight. It was fourth and 10, though. That was smart. But it felt like they were going to not kick a field goal when they were down five, which I was nervous that he might try to kick another.

Field goal. Yeah, he was going to free.

Him to death. Then Tommy DeVito just going down the field. The Packers defense completely... Jordan Love didn't play good, but the Packers defense not getting a sack and also letting Tommy DeVito go down the field like that.

I'm so glad that it happened too, because if it weren't for the giants.

Only-i wish I was Italian, so I get mad at you for how you're talking down about.

Tommy DeVito. I'm not. I'm not.

Talking down about it. In't let Tommy DeVito, it was a legacy drive.

Tommy DeVito is one of the most fun stories in.

The NFL. Let Tommy DeVito drive it down.

Like that. Yeah, the Packers defense, they should be better than that.

They should be better than that. I'm not Italian, so I'm not upset.

Yeah, I'm sorry we're over here making inarticulate Italian noises, but we're just rooting for the guy because he's a fun story, Hank. He's very fun.

You're saying that I should be upset?

No. Hey, Max always makes inarticulate Italian noises.

You got two dates with Tommy DeVito. Yeah.

You a little bit worried about that?

I would like them to lose next week.

And the Eagles, you would admit- You want the Eagles to lose.

Next week?

No, I would like the giants to lose next week.

Before we play them. You admit the Eagles are frauds?

No, the computer said no.

Are the Eagles frauds? Are the Eagles frauds?

No. Why are you asking me this?

No, the Eagles.

Are not frauds. Are the Eagles frauds?

Why are you asking me the.

Same question? Wait, I can't. You cut out for a second. Are the Eagles frauds? Yes.

Wait, you guys set this whole thing up.

You told me you.

Were doing this.

Wait, Max. There's a correct in there, I.

Think, too. Wait, Max, I thought that you said that the Eagles were good.

They are good.

Wait, Max, I thought you said that the Eagles were good.

This is the worst soundboard. Correct.

Yeah. No, you're supposed to play the wrong one. Yeah. Wait, Max, I thought you said that the Eagles were good.

Wrong.

This is fake.

This is AI. Yeah. Memes might be the worst soundboard operator of all time. He's looking at it like he's an 80-year-old guy trying to type an email. I really.

Do think that's one thing the studio needs. I know SVP has it. It's the board that's right here that me and Big Cat can just press to get whatever sound effect we want.

Yeah.

You guys just did this whole elaborate plan to try and sneak this behind me. I knew it was going on the.

Entire thing. No, there really wasn't an elaborate plan. We don't execute plans well. It was like, Hey, let's make a soundboard. Totally tried to make a soundboard. Memes can't operate a computer. Give us one. Just give us a random one.

Your favorite one. This could be such a bad night for me and you guys just want it to be so much worse.

All right, so we got the max.

Soundboard now. I also want to put Hank's yawn on the soundboard. Yes.

Just play it any given time. Play it as loud as possible. The other game.

You hate our listeners.

The other game. No, I love our listeners.

Playing my yawns for the listeners is you.

Hate them. I've gone so far into my hatred of your yawns that I love them now.

We did it one time. Remember on the podcast? I was let it out and everyone was disgusted.

Furious, angry. It is disgusting. Last thing, Tommy DeVito's agent, we're going to have to get him on the show. Styleto. Yeah. I think Eli might have called him Slimy, and then he went on New York Radio today and was very upset about it.

I like that he's playing into it, though. He's a smart guy. If you have lightning in a bottle like this, you have to lean into everything, lean into the discussion that's already happening and gas your guy up. He got dressed up last night specifically because he knew it was going to create a stir.

On the field with.

The phone. That's a good agent. Everything. That's a great agent.

Right there. He looks great. It was a very fun game. Tommy DeVito, Italian-American hero. He has surpassed. We said when he first came in, what was a month ago and he didn't look good, and we're like, someday he's going to be able to coach gym class and have that jersey behind him. Now I think he's like, we're talking car dealership, we're talking paid appearances. Used car. Used car dealership, paid appearances. We're talking cameo millionaire. He's and on top of all that, he might just be in the NFL for a long time.

He's going to be in some movies too. Yeah.

Tommy DeVito. What a story. So yeah, the other game, the Dolphins, what a collapse. So first of all, credit to Will Levis. He looked awesome. He drove. The game with Will Levis, they were down two touchdowns with 4.34 left. I think we all thought that that was it. The Titans fell apart there with all the fumbles and muff punts and everything. Then he drives them down in two consecutive drives for touchdowns. Mike Vrabel, analytics guy, going for two. But the Dolphins, I know they have injuries, a lot of offensive line injuries. Tyree Kille getting injured. That was really bad for the Dolphins.

It was a bad ending.

In their offense... I was getting into it a little bit with Dolphins fans last night because they are very sensitive about, which I understand. I do consider myself part of Toe and On. Saying Tyree, Keel is the MVP does not diminish Toe. I think Tua is a very good quarterback. When Tyree Kills is on the field, he doesn't even have to catch the ball what he's able to do to bend the defense. When he came back that first time, I don't know if he caught a ball in that first drive, but everyone was open because everyone's got to worry about where he is on the field. The fastest kid alive. Everything else just becomes easier. He looked to me like he's the most important player on the Dolphins, and he probably should be considered MVP.

Well, sports writers are dumb. They're very dumb people. They see a big round number like 2,000, and they will vote for him for the MVP if he gets to 2,000 yards. But they're dumb. If he gets 1,965 yards, probably not going to be MVP. But when they see that number two, they're going to be like, Wow, never been done before. Tyree, kill MVP. Yes. But yeah, when you saw him go out last night, it definitely affects the entire offense. It affects their big play capability. Even Wattle couldn't get big plays with Tyreke Hill out of the game because he creates so much space for Wattle to run through. Alec Engold had a great hurdle, though. He did. But we've talked to Alek about that. He's a listener of the show. He's on the lowman committee. Alec, God gave you the ability to get low on people for a reason. You don't need to be jumping over him. Yes. You have a look at me move from.

The fullback. I do like to, I think he's a very good quarterback. I also think that he might leave the league in hospital passes.

Yep.

He had a few last night. I mean, the jail and waddle one- Like the first pass of the game? -first pass of the game. He had another one, I think, to A-chain where the ball just stayed in the air for so long that the linebacker almost got there before the ball got there.

It's because of how their offense is set up where they've got so many crossers and to a throws the ball before they even make the breaks. I know. If you have one defender that makes an early cut on something, even if it's like a blown coverage that accidentally works out well for the defense, you're going to get some dude just going head to head against your receiver.

Across the middle. Yeah. That was a really bad loss for the Dolphins. Now, I don't... The Bulls are suddenly alive in the AFC East because the Dolphins are two games ahead and they have to play the jets, the cowboys, the Ravens, and the Bulls. Now you think they beat the but who knows? Because the jets have been... They had a good game. They had a good game. Yeah, and their defense, they have the Zach, Wilson, Spark. But let's just say if they beat the jets and then lost to the cowboys and ravens and the Bills ran the table, week 18 would be for the AFC East. The amazing. The Bulls have the Cowboys this week, which can be very tough, but then they get the chargers without Justin Herbert and The Patriots at home. Yeah, it happened just like that. Spoiler. It happened just like that where it's like, Wait, hold on a second. Are the Bill's alive?

Yeah. I hope you win that game.

Spoiler. You got a couple of.

Spoilers coming up. I hope Hank just spoils everybody. I want the Patriots to win a bunch of games down the stretch.

Spoil the shit out.

Of everyone. Yeah, just win everything down the.

Stretch, Hank. It was a crazy weekend, though, because it.

Was basically- That's so nice of you, PFT. You're usually never that optimistic.

About the Patriots. I am. I think that it's a great franchise. I hope that Bill Belichick, one of the best coaches. I think Bill still has a realistic opportunity to stick around in New England after the season if he can put a few wins together at the end here. I'm rooting for greatness, Hank. That's a great organization. I want you guys to win every last game.

That you have this season. What if your Super Bowl contending Commanders end up getting the number two draft pick? You think Bill would want to come then?

I didn't even think about that. But I guess that if you're Bill Belichick and you've already made up your mind to go to the Commanders, the best thing you can possibly do is to win a bunch of games as New England Patriots Coach this year, give the Commanders a better draft pick. That's a good point. That's a good point.

That's a really.

Good point, Hank. Thank you for bringing.

That up. You know ball. The Patriots do have the… They're in Prime Spoiler Watch. They have Chiefs, Broncos, Bills. All teams looking for seating and Broncos and Bills looking to get in the playoffs.

Yeah. Did you see Tyreke Hill on that? When he got injured on the horse-collar tackle? Yeah.

It was a horse-collar hip-drop.

Yeah, it was a- Combo. He hit all the bases on that one.

Warren Sharp instantly tweeted about it. Got to get this out of League.

All of it. Okay, so the hip-drop tackle. Let's talk about the hip-drop tackle. Because I don't know how you're supposed to tackle somebody from behind without it being a hip drop tackle.

It's a dangerous tackle, but it's legal.

Yeah, it's also how you tackle somebody. Right. Tackling is dangerous. Right. When you get tackled from behind, unless you do a shoestring, grab them around the legs, but then five years down the line, Godo be like, Well, you can't tackle somebody low from behind because we've seen a bunch of leg injuries off that or ankle injuries. Football is a dangerous sport. But the hip drop tackle, okay, I understand horse-collard. It's almost like every time somebody gets horse-collard, you're like, That guy could be injured. There's really no safe way to tackle somebody from behind. It just doesn't exist.

You run into the thing where defenders are now, like even think about a defensive lineman, you can't hit a quarterback in the head or anywhere above the shoulders, and you can't hit them anywhere below the knees.

Yeah, strikes.

Don't happen. Yeah, it's becoming harder and harder if we ban this tackle, which I don't think they will.

I don't think they will, but there's enough people out there.

Talking about it. Yeah, the hip drop has become the buzz tackle of like, You can't have it.

It makes you sound like you know what you're talking about when you say, Oh, that's a hip drop. It's a technique.

You're talking technique now.

Like you tackle somebody from behind and then naturally your body weight brings you down and then that brings them down.

It's the most efficient way to tackle someone from behind.

That's how physics works.

You make yourself a backpack.

Yeah. But with Tyreeke Hill's injury, he looked like he was really hurt. Then he got up and he did the thing that Kidal does sometimes where he just tells himself, I'm not injured, actually. He just sprinted off the field. That's how not injured I am. He texted his wife at half time. His wife gets football guy of the Week this week because Tyree Kills wife was like, You better get your ass back in that game dog. He was like, All right, and went back in. It's on. It's on. So shout out to Tyreeke Hill's wife.

Yes, huge football guy of the week for sure. Tyreeke Hill also, he's definitely in the big Ben realm of like… I don't even think he does it on purpose, but it does feel like, I don't know, six times a year. You're like, Oh, he's out for the season.

His body is just one big muscle. He gets a lot of those like… His body revolts against him sometimes. It's like, Dude, you're going too fast. Yeah. Then he sits out for a few plays and he's like, Come on, Bobby, we're doing this. And he's like, Fine. Yeah.

Also shout out to Mike Vrabel. That was a classic Vrabel game. He still is one of the best coaches. I know that the Titans have not had a good year, but you just always have to be worried about a Vrabel game where you just can't count the Titans out ever, no matter who's on the team. Deandre Hopkins is awesome.

Hopkins is great. Hopkins is still really good. Just when they can get him the ball, that's the issue.

I couldn't believe that... Imagine the Dolphins going into this game being like, you're going to get a pick six. You're going to get a pick, six, you're going to get two fumbles in the red zone.

A muff pump.

Yeah, counting that as well. Yeah, so two fumbles basically in the red zone, and you're not going to win.

The game. Up 15 with two minutes left, and you're going to get the ball back.

Yeah.

It's the first time in what, seven years that a team has come back from being down 14 with under three minutes left?

Yeah. Will Levis, dog. Dog. Dog.

And did you see the chest bump that he gave on the sidelines after the game?

He tried to run someone over last.

Night, too. He truck-sticked him. Yeah.

That was awesome. Okay. My fault for raising my hand. Yes, that is your fault.

-good point, Jake. -that was very very much. -your dolphins, are they frauds?

No, but if they don't beat the jets.

The panic button is off. Maybe you got to worry about the jets instead of trying to worry about how the Broncos record means that you beat a team over 500.

Thought. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that might help. Backfired. Yeah, that did backfire. We move on.

Beat the jets.

Beat the jets. Must compete. Must win. Must win. Oh, okay, we got a couple of must win. Actually, the Bearz are must win. We have a lot of must wins on this.

Show this weekend. The Patriots have a must win for me. Yeah. Let's go, Pat. I mean, we need a Patriots fan. Wait, so you.

Guys mathematically eliminate for the playoffs?

No. Only you.

Oh, that's right. The Patriots are. But listen, we have- That's.

Sad, though. I can root for tanking.

Because- Shut the fuck up for a second, man. I've already-We have most.

Of our bases covered. You could still make the playoffs and win the Super Bowl. You said.

That was a possibility.

You did say, Super Seasons. I said, Super Season if we beat the Bulls and the Eagles back to back. Got it. No, you.

Said one.

Of the two. One of the two. And we didn't. Newsflash, we lost both. But we've got most of our bases covered in terms of big media successful franchises on this podcast. We've got Chicago, we've got Philly, we've got New York, we've got some Miami. We don't have a Patriots fan on this podcast. We got Dallas on this podcast.

Yeah, we got Dallas.

Huge. I think I have to just take up the mantle and say, You know what? Do your pod.

I like that, PFT.

That's big of you. Let's go, Pat. I'm a big, Lighthouse believer. That thing is legit.

Cowboys. You're cowboys. You're boys.

Cowboys.

Yeah. You need to buy some more gear. I need to see you in Cowboys gear for the entirety of January. It's so funny, too, because the AWS, we have the best fans in the world, but them buying in just being like, Thank you, Hank, for repping our boys. I think they're serious. I get some earnest.

I get some earnest. It means a lot. I'm like, Are you.

Fucking serious? Are you going to put a future on them? You should.

Yeah. You have to.

I might as well right now. Yeah, do it right now. You might as well. The boys. How about them boys? Okay, other things clean up. Patrick Mohomes, as predicted, talked to the media today, or I think he was on a radio show and he was like, Yeah, I overreacted.

He apologized to the youngsters. You usually don't hear an athlete say that. That's usually the realm of the guy doing the interview. What about the youngsters at home? Yeah. Homes was like, There's kids watching at Homes. I apologize for how I acted in the postgame, especially with Josh. Because he did, the second it happened, you knew that he was going to look back on that and be like, That's not a good look for me to be complaining to Josh about a call. Also with the benefit of hindsight, seeing that Cedarius Tony was the most off-sides person in history of football probably made him be like, Okay, yeah, maybe Cedarius should have checked with the refs at some point.

Then there were Chiefs fans trying to say he did check with the refs. If you watched the clip, he literally pointed to a ref. Before the ref could even give him any signal back, he just lined up off sides. I spilled water on your- -I just.

Spilled water on my laptop. -your laptop. It's fine. This is a laptop from 2016.

Oh, okay, no problem.

Just dump it off. I'm just going to let it air dry.

Yeah, air dry it. And it's body, armor, water. Oh, wait, you have a spill underneath. Hold on. Give us something to wipe it up. Yeah, I got a shirt. Yeah, give us a shirt. Yeah, I think people who say they lost respect for my homes or don't like him now are the lamest.

People in the world.

Because you're basically telling on yourself that you didn't like my homes and you were just waiting for something to be like, Yeah, that's why I don't like him.

It.

Was a bad moment for him. He looks childish, but it's also a passionate game. It's guys after a game are always going to say shit that is different than two days later. I know there were some Kansas City fans that were saying that, PFT, we're not allowed in Kansas City anymore. We're banned? Because we're an anti-chice podcast, which I don't... I think there's just a lot of people who, and I understand it, Fandom is crazy. We're fanatics for a reason. We're literally psychos. They cherry-pick whenever we say bad things and don't listen when we say good things. I think we should say a couple of good things about Kansas City.

I also think we've been pretty consistent over the last five years saying a lot of really.

Good things. The Mohhomes is the best quarterback in the NFL fact.

I think he's the best quarterback to ever play the game. Wow.

The Chiefs.

Are always- It's my beloved Tom braided, the fucking goat. It's disgusting anybody ever mentions him in the same breath as Tom braided.

The Chiefs are always live to win the Super Bowl. Even now, with all their issues, I still wouldn't bet against them in January. We were the first podcast to ask to debate whether the debate would happen about Andy Reed being the goat coach. It's true. We were the first to do it. But yeah, I like Kansas City. We went there. George Brett showed us his barbecue place. It was awesome.

They don't get enough credit for having awesome uniforms either. Chiefs have just classic unis.

And Kansas Jayhawk fans are the most passionate. I want to go to Fog Allen at some point. Are we allowed outside of Kansas City, do you think? Lawrence? Are we allowed in Lawrence? We need a clarification from Kansas City Chiefs fans if we're allowed to be in the state of Kansas or Missouri. Or Missouri.

Yeah. Well, preferably Missouri.

Yeah. But yeah, the Chiefs are really good. They're a really good franchise.

Travis, Kelsey is the second best tight end of all time. Behind my beloved Grunk.

Yeah. The chiefs could easily still get the by, by the way.

Yeah.

Oh, easily. Yeah, very- Things are falling apart at the top. The Dolphins losing, the Ravens and Dolphins having to play each other, the Ravens having to play the 49ers.

I wouldn't say because I think they have to have a couple of teams, have a couple of losses, and then they need to run the table.

But the Ravens and.

Dolphins play each other. Yeah, and it's an easier schedule for the chiefs. But it's a realistic possibility.

I wouldn't be shocked if come playoff time, we're like, Wait, the Chiefs still out of all that? It reminds me actually of your beloved Patriots when they were running hot. There was always a point in the season where everyone be like, They're done. Then you look up and.

Like, Wait, hold on. I love that. When Mark Bruno will get on TV and cry about football. When they count us out, be like, Oh, is this the end of the dynasty? Because we lost one game and then we're on to Cincinnati. It's time to get back to greatness.

Yeah. So what we'll do, memes, tomorrow, like around 11 o'clock, I want you to tweet a poll from the part of my Take Twitter. This is a poll for Kansas City Chiefs fans and people in Kansas and Missouri only asking if we're allowed to go to Kansas City ever again. Yeah. The guy was, it was funny. He was like, You come here and it sound like I had to check in with him.

It's.

On-site. Yeah.

Hey, is it okay? You got to tap in when you go to Kansas City. I think I would do the thing where if I pressed a button and one of you guys in this room would, I don't want to say die. Yeah, die. I would press a button if one of you in this room would die, but it meant that I-This room.

Or that.

Control room? The control room. Meaning that I would have Patrick Mohomes as my quarterbite for the next 10 years. I've said I would give- A random person.

I would give multiple toes.

I'd give children.

I'd give multiple toes.

I would sacrifice for.

You, P. F. T. Yeah. Thanks, Jake. Very cool. I'll give my firstborn child, Chris. I would give Chris away to the orphanage for Patrick.

To homes. What are you going to say? You guys want to get some fun future takes wrong and just predict the playoffs? Yeah, I like this. Who's in?

Okay. Are the Patreets out? This is good. This is good. Okay, our playoffs right now.

I feel like there's as many scenarios. There's like 20 different scenarios.

Okay, AFC, I'm going to sayRaven's by, Dolphins 2 Seed. I think they'll be able to win a couple games here.

Their schedule is.

Tough coming up. Real tough. Should I do Bills? I think the Bills are going to win the division. I think we.

Kt, could win the division.

I think the Bills.

Are going to win the division. Dolphins fans are.

Going to crush you if you jump off with them again. I think the Bills are going to be the Dolphins.

Fans are going to crush you if you jump off them again.

I think the Bills are going to win the division.

What have the Bills got the two seat? They could. They beat the Kansas City Chiefs. The Jaguars is catching another loss and the Chiefs is catching another loss. All right, I'll go Ravens, Bills, Chiefs. I'll go Ravens, Chiefs, Bills, Jaguars, Browns, Dolphins, and Broncos.

Okay. I'm going to.

Go-that's my seven in order.

I'm going to.

Do it. No Texans?

No Bangles? No the Texas... I mean, C. J. Straud. I'm going to do it. Well, Bangles? Yeah, Jake Browning. I forgot. Jake Bangles.

I'm going to Broncos. I'm going to do it. Chiefs One Seed.

Yeah.

Ravens Two Seed. -it says something like that about the chiefs.

-ravens.

-okay.

-dolfins Three Seed.

-okay.

Jacksonville 4.

Okay.

Cleveland 5. Yep.

This is a chalk city.

No, I had the chiefs with the One Seed. Right now you made me lose my train of thought.

Six and seven.

Six and seven. Six, I'm going to go with the Denver Broncos. Okay. And seven, I'm going to go with the Colts.

So Bill's out.

And Bangles out.

Wow. Okay. All right, and then the NFC, it's going to be Niners, Cowboys. What, Max?

You guys are stuck.

There we go, memes. He's getting the hang of it. Niners, Cowboys, Lions, Bucks, Vikings, Packers, Eagles.

Wrong. I don't even think that's possible. The Eagles is going to have to lose out. That would be.

Cowboys and Eagles round one. Two-seven. I love it. I love it.

If they have a Saturday playoff game, can I go?

Yes, absolutely. In Dallas? Yeah. Do you have someone you're going to go with?

I'm just thinking ahead.

I'm going to go Niners 1 seed, birds 2 seed. Then I'll go, yeah, lions 3 seed, 4 seed. I'm going to say the falcons are going to do it. Okay. Falcons 4 seed, Cowboys 5.

Then it's Vikings, Packers, or rams.

Vikings, packers. I'm going to go ram 6.

Then packers or Vikings?

I'm going to go Packers 7. I might.

Actually put.

Pairs of Fun.

The Eagles be eliminated?

I'd like to officially revise my AFC take. I'm going to put Bills in. Love it. I'm going to put Bill's in over.

The Colts. Okay.

By the way, you know how we're Colts season ticket holders? Yeah. I did the auto renew thing at the time, and I couldn't figure out how to get the auto renew off. I just bought a second season.

That's why I did the game-by-game because I couldn't figure out how to do it either.

Yeah, so I guess I'm just going to be giving away more Colts tickets next year.

Love it. Anthony Richardson time.

Hey, what do you guys want to do this week? It's a Saturday game.

I want to get two people that look the most like Santa Claus. No costume, like Rick. Yeah, just give us bearded, white bearded guys. Okay.

Pmtn.

Turn up arstoolsports.

Com. Yeah.

You can even just send us a picture of Santa Claus.

Are you.

With Santa Claus? Yeah. All right. Before we talk about Show-Hey, we got one last football thing. This is a new fun thing that Shake Shack is going to do for us. And the listeners. And the listeners. So you all know Shake Shack. They're delicious, made to order Angus beef, burgers, crispy chicken, hands-spun, milk shakes, house-made lemonadeades, and more are some of our favorites. And we're partnering with them on the three-for-free promotion. So here's how it's going to work. Pft is going to pick the Thursday night game right now. If we win the first pick, Shake Shack will offer free chicken shacks starting on 12:18. I'm going to pick a game on Friday show for Saturday. If we win that one, they will add in free bacon cheese fries. Hank is going to pick a game on Friday show for Sunday. If we win that one, they're going to also throw in a classic shake. We're trying to win the AWS some free shake shack. This promotion will run 12:18 through 12:24 and be available in Shake Shack locations at kiosk and on the Shaq app website. Applicable code will be announced on 12:18 once the predictions hit or not.

If it hits, we'll give you the code. Terms apply when you spend $10-plus on an order using one code. Starting 12:18 codes cannot be combined, so the Chicken Shack is a sleeper in the Chicken Sandwich game, but it rivals all others. Pair it with the bacon, cheese, fries, and a classic shake for the perfect game-day meal. Learn more and get ready for the three for free. This is fun. We're going to try to win you guys some free shake shack, and PFT is up first. Pft, what is your pick for Thursday Night Football to win everyone free chicken shacks?

We've got a great game coming up on Thursday night. Yeah, we do. It's going to be the Raiders and the Chargers. We've got AOC and East and Stick dueling out against each other. I'm going to take the Raiders at home minus two and a half. Love it. Raiders minus two and a half for chicken. I'm trying to get the people chicken.

Yes. Okay, so get excited. If we win the first pick, we will announce it. Sorry, we'll clear it all up on Sunday. So if we win one, you get one thing. If we win two, you get two things, we win three, you get all three things and we will give a code to the people on Sunday. I love this. I love this. Okay, before we get to Hot Sequltron, Shahayy Ohtani, the deferred man. So it came out his 10-year $700 million contract is being deferred at the price of $68 million a year being deferred. So he's getting paid $2 million for the next 10 years every year. And then once the contract is up, he's getting paid $68 million every year for the next 10 years.

That is awesome. It's an awesome deal for the Dodgers. $68 million a year. I saw a lot of people that are upset about the Dodgers doing this type of contract because it violates the spirit of baseball. It's smart. If you can find a player that's willing to do this. Also, I'm pretty sure Ohtani, he is going to do some tax situation with this. When he's no longer playing for the Dodgers.

He probably won't live in California.

Probably won't live in California anymore at that point. He's deferring most of until after, almost all of it until after he's done. Also, the marketing that he's going to get in Los Angeles is going to make up for a lot of that money. O'tanya is going to be just fine. The Dodgers are secretly rooting for inflation now. That would be really.

Good for them. Here's the real story here with this deal. It's a genius job by and his agents to have everyone say seven years or 10 years, $700 million. Oh, my God, he just broke the bank. The next biggest one was Aaron Judge, nine years, 360. Or Mike Trout, I think he did 12 years, 350 or 400 or something like that. This is a $450, $60 million contract because of inflation and interest. Yeah, so-He basically, I bet you that when he went around shopping because of the injury, every single team that he talked to was probably in the $400, $500 million range. He was like, Well, what if we just do deferment and we make it sound like it's a $700 million contract?

The way that baseball and the CBA calculates this, they actually have a formula to figure out what deferred payments would look like in terms of today's money. I think his contract is for about $46 million a year.

On the luxury tax?

Using that proprietary formula. Yeah. When you take into account all the money he's going to earn, it's like if you gave him $46 million a.

Year today. Yeah, so it's 400, and that's the genius part because when we see the contract come out and everyone flips out and they're like, But Aaron Judd just signed for nine years, 360 million. Well, if you actually think about it, this is a natural progression of contracts. Show-hay O'Tanya signed for 10 years, 460 million. That's a natural progression from Aaron Judge's nine for 360. I think that he honestly was like everyone who was negotiating with Show-hay O'Tanya was probably in the 400-ish range with no deferments and maybe 500 with a few deferments. Then they're like, Hey, what if we do 700 million with.

All deferments? It was his idea to do.

This deferment. But it's genius because it sounds like he just broke the mold of baseball in all contracts. You could say, 700 million, that's insane. But that's not the value of the contract. The value of the contract is somewhere in the 400s.

Yeah, I think it's a win-win for both of you.

No, I do, too. But I just want.

To- The Dodgers are pretty happy about this.

It was just very funny because, and I did it, too, I was like, What the fuck? He just doubled Aaron Judges' contract? No, he didn't.

Yeah, it's good for the Dodgers because the world might not even exist in 15 years, in which case they don't have to pay him that. Yes. The son could engulf the entire planet.

It also weirdly helped out all the other team's fan bases when the 700 million gets reported. Because I know I personally was like, Well, the Cubs would never have spent that. I felt good for a little bit. Then when you actually see the actual value, you're like, Oh, the Cubs maybe could have offered that.

Yeah, we just got outspent. We can't compete with.

The big market. Right. It's a $460 million deal.

What would have been in Canadian dollars if you found Blue Jays? I don't know. The only thing I know about Canadian dollars is when I look at the back of a book and it shows the two prices on there, and it's Canada is a little bit more. He probably would have gotten a billion Canadian dollars.

He just did. Showhey just did what the NFL does for all their contracts. When the agents get to announce that a quarterback signs for five years, 200 million, and then you look at it and you're like, There's only 60 million guaranteed, and they can cut him after two years. He just did that for MLB where they can't cut him. There's no salary cap, but they can essentially say, Yeah, the value of this contract is not even close to 700 million.

I could see DaVito's agent being like, Yeah, we did the first billion dollar deal in the history of football. Right. It's like the first two years you get four million, and then after that you can get cut. Yeah. Then okay, yeah, but we did a billion dollar deal.

Yeah, you do like a 100 year land lease. We got a million.

Dollars a year. 7,000 boxes of Ziti, five sauces.

It would be $10 million a year. But yeah. I don't understand numbers or interest or inflation or anything.

I don't know. That's way above my pay grade. I do understand. Well, I tried to understand the Dodgers tweet about it last night when they made it official. You see the Dodgers tweet? No, what did they say? It was four images that were each 500 words. Nobody read the entire thing.

Was it like a mega.

Notes app? Yeah, it was like a novel. They put out a novel just basically saying, We signed Shohay Ohtani. I would like to know if anybody out there actually read the entire thing. No chance. It was the actual real life. I didn't read all that, but I'm sorry or congrats, bro.

Congrats that it happened to you. Yeah.

Breaking news. Well, it's not news officially. It's just breaking news, I guess. Tuesday night, nine o'clock, Big Cat has requested I come back on the air by myself to talk about the rumors that Bill Belichick is going to leave The Patriots at the end of the season. Max is laughing at me right now. I'm sitting here alone. A report came out. It's not official. It was not a team document or announcement. So as of right now, it's just a report. Tom Curn, who is not a fan fictionist. He's real news, good reporter. So that at the end of the year, the Patriots and the Belichick are probably going to part ways. It happened after the Germany game. And then Big Cat was like, You need to get on the air and do two minutes. I'm stand up, which I guess is good practice because I have to do 60 minutes coming up. But I'm just going to go with the fact that it's a report and it's not true. It might be fake news. I'm hoping it's fake. I'm in the denial stage right now. I don't want it to be true. That would force a lot of emotions to come over me that I'm not ready to accept at this very moment.

I'm talking into a microphone by myself right now. I don't even know what I'm saying. So that's my take. It's tough because I saw the tweets and stuff people were sending me the tweet, Big Cat, PFT, Jake being like, Oh, look at this. Look at this, Green Light Podcast, who took down a tweet and then put it back up saying it was a report, which was interesting because if it was official, you'd think they would just leave up the original tweet. Justin Tradell from the Kirk Minihand show tweeted that he had inside sources saying it was fake. So I'm just going with that. That was a tweet I like to see and was like, Yes. Now we got Kirk Minihand show versus Green Light Podcast going for the news break. But then I read the actual report, and there was rumors before the Germany game that if they lost, he was going to be on his way out. So the fact that the report said it happened after the Germany game made it seem like it made sense, which is, again, I don't want to accept that reality, so I'm not going to. This is my two minutes saying that we're just going to wait to see what happens.

Sad day, bad day. I've never podcasted alone, and I hope I never have to again.

Okay, let's do some HotSea, CoolTown. And then we got Stav, and Jade, and Daniels coming up. Hot Seat, Cool Throne is brought to you by our friends at Chevy. There's a new family with Unstoppable Grit, and they're the official partners of the Pardon My Take family. And that is the Chevy Silverado Z-R-2 family. The first ever Silverado, heavy duty, Z-R-2, joins the franchise to make Chevy Z-R-2 the only truck brand with a full lineup of trucks ready for wherever your offroad adventures take you. With exclusive, multi-matic, DSSV, dampers, rugged mud terrain tires, and up to 14 available camera views. The Chevy Silverado ZR2 and Silverado HD ZR2, a family with commanding and unstoppable grit. Head to chevy. Com. Check out Chevy Silverado and the family. Chevy ZR2 is the official trucks of Pardon my take. Thank you to Chevy. We're a wonderful sponsor. We are Chevy guys. What is Hank, your hot seat.

Cool Throne? My hot seat is the Detroit Pistons.

Oh.

Yeah. They've lost 20 straight games.

Yeah. What's the record?

They're two and 21. The Wizards are better than them in the standings.

Yeah, which is saying the Wizards got beat by 45 last night by.

The 76ers. Yeah, the Wizards are three and 19. But the Pistons, I feel like it's going a little bit under the radar. Twenty losses in a row.

Is all-Twenty losses in a row is insane. Well, it's actually crazy because the Pistons have 20 losses in a row, and I'm pretty sure the Spurs have 17 losses in a row. Both of these and then the Wizards also have a ton of losses in a row. There's some… Oh, yeah, actually, here it is. The Spurs have 17 losses in a row. The Pistons have 20 losses in a row. I'm pretty sure that the Wizards have won one game in the last, let's see, eight.

It's been a while.

They're 1 and 14 in their last 15, their one win, the Detroit Pistons. I love that. It's like the worst three teams. It's insane. Those teams combined are 1 in 55 or something crazy.

Do you know what the record losing streak is in.

The NBA? What is it?

Well, you can look at it one or two ways. 28. Well, yeah, one is 24, and that's for the Cleveland Cavaliers. But then eventually, over the parts of two different seasons, it was the 76ers.

Because remember, also-I'm surprised.

The bo-They got a great draft pick out of.

That though. Remember the Bobcats one year won seven games? Yeah. That was crazy. But yeah, the Pistons. That's crazy. Twenty in a row.

Twenty in a row.

I'm in the all-star break. Twenty in a row is definitely like if you get over 15 in a row, it's fire everyone. You can't do 20 in a row. No. You have to fire everyone. I don't know if you can legally fire everyone, but I'm saying cut everyone, fire everyone, do everything. Twenty in a row. That's bad.

Real bad. Then my cool throw in it was going to be the Dodgers. Pfc touched on it like that. That's the greatest deal of all time. Money is never going to matter. The world is going to end. They're going to have paid him $20 million.

The big one. California might be in the middle of the ocean.

Yeah.

You can pass. I guess my other cool throw in, Paul pierce, was keeping up the hate. I respect it. He was on him and KG's show, and he said, LeBron is not a top five in the NBA. Love that man. Kg flipped out. But Paul pierce is a good point. Lebron is LeBron, but.

He's old. He's going to be 39. He's old. He's old.

He's old. But I just respect...

I.

Respect haters. -it encourages me to keep my hate up because Paul pierce is still keeping his hate. Thank you, Paul.

It's nice. Representation matters. Yes. That's what you're saying. It's like when they do different movies with different minorities, you needed this to have someone out there still hating. You're like, See, I can see myself in that. Yeah.

The Little Mermaid is black. Hank's like, Yeah, seeing that on TV makes me think one day I can grow up.

To be a.

Haters forever.

Paul pierce is my haters hero, and he's hating on LeBron. It's okay for me to still hate him.

Yeah, that's great. All right, PFT, you're a hot seat, Cool Tron.

My hot seat is Kenya because our boy, Billy and Donnie are back over in Africa right now looking for revenge. Billy's on the hot seat. Billy will be fired if he comes back and they score no touchdowns. What? No, he's never been fired, Hank. It's fake news. It's an inside joke. Billy was never fired. But yeah, I've told Billy if he comes back and he cannot call himself Billy football and go scoreless against Kenya again.

He's put himself in the ultimate future, Billy, where he came back. He was upset he lost and he got so excited about going back. He was pitching and he's like, Please, help me get back there. I need to coach these guys. I don't even care if we get filmed. I was like, Billy, that makes no sense. It's for content. I don't care. I want to get this team to victory. He's going back and he's got all the pressure in the world.

He's got all the pressure. But I'll defend Billy a little bit. When he came back and he was crying about it and he was really upset, and he was crying. It's because he cares for the boys so much. He went out there, practiced with him. He got passionate. I like passionate Billy. Me too. Say what you want about Billy when he's not passionate, but when he actually cares about something, he's usually pretty good at it. He deeply, deeply cares about this one. The part of my cheesestake bowl round two is going to happen. This is an away game. This is in Kenya at Elevation. We've provided them. We actually put some money together, sent a bunch of equipment over for the Uganda football team. They got new footballs. They got all this equipment, pads, whistles, you name it. Billy is like a pack mule that we've sent over to Africa. We're growing the game. Yeah, Billy will be fired if they don't score a touchdown. It's not even that they don't score. If they come back and they lose 40-3, Billy's fired. They have to get a touchdown.

Did you guys give him bribe money?

Yeah. That's the other funny thing is Billy put together a little budget for it. Yeah.

I actually, PFT was like, Hey, we're going to do this budget. I was like, I'm going to send it to Donnie, not Billy.

Can I read the budget? Because when he asked me, I was like, All right, what's it going to cost? Can you send me a budget? I said, flights, 1,400, hotels, 400, food, 50 bucks.

Cheap, parentheses.

He goes, Extra baggage fee maybe. Then at the very bottom, it goes, Hopefully, I don't have to pay any bribes this time, but bribe and budget and cash, 500.

Nice. Yeah. Billy's just going overseas with a suitcase filled with ones and bribes. Good luck to Billy. He's going to score a touchdown, though. I have full confidence in Uganda. It was a wet game. It was rainy. Billy was injured last time. He just better get a touchdown. Yeah.

Okay, your cool throne?

My cool throne is traffic. Chicago just decided that we don't need traffic anymore.

Well, yeah, the construction.

Yeah, so there's been construction ever since we've moved to Chicago on the main highways, and it's been a pain in the ass to drive around, as it is in most cities trying to get around, especially at rush hour. Two days ago, Chicago just said, You know what? Let's just not do the construction and we won't have traffic anymore. When I drove to work yesterday, it was awesome. It was so fast. I felt like I was living large, like luxury.

They just said phase one complete. Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Now there's just-We're in phase.

Two, though? We shouldn't do.

Phase two. Phase two is coming. You know it is.

Because phase one, it's done, and now there's no traffic anymore. We just decided, I don't know what they were building.

Yeah, well, I think they were fixing the highway. Then the... Like Brandon, who drives from Wisconsin, he got here at 7:15 the other day. I was like, Why are you here so early? He was like, My commute was half.

As long. Yeah, there's no traffic anymore. There's something going on. There's some scam going on to that. My other cool throne is drip for the Boys. You know how I bought a bunch of Darius Rucker NFL collab stuff? I did it again where I saw a Guy Fiery NFL Flavetown collab. I got the boys- Hell yes. -food related. I dropped 500 on Fanatics the other day. I was like, Okay, you know who would like this awesome shirt of a giant ass bear eating a deep dish pizza? My friend Big Cat. You know who would like.

This- Hell yes.

-lobster with a green shirt? My friend Hank. Now we got some Guy Fiery NFL collab. If the guy that does the collab wants to send me $20,000 worth of medium-sized commander's gear with Guy Fiery influence on it, I'm open to hearing about that. But yeah, boys are going to be decked out this weekend.

Yeah.

I'm pumped. I'm ready for it. You told me that, and I was like, Fuck yes. All right, my hot seat is Al Michaels. He has been blindsided. He's not calling the NBA playoff game this year.

Really? Yeah. Was that his choice? No.

No Eagle next up. Yeah.

I think the people at MBC were like, we hear Al might be maybe not vintage Al. And so yeah, I think he got blindsided.

I don't.

This. Yeah, no, I don't like it either.

I don't like this. Let Al go out on his own terms.

Let Al keep going. But yeah, that was some news. Andrew Marshan had that. It was like he got blindsided. Can't believe it. Yeah. And then my cool throne is Georgia fans. Georgia fans, they are not in the playoff, but they're in a fight right now for five-star quarterback Dylan Rayola. There's word on the street that he might be going to take a visit in Nebraska. We had this from a comment section on a Georgia Bulldogs site. It says, Does anyone here work at Harttsfield Jackson Airport? It's being reported that Rayola will visit Nebraska on Friday. I assume that it'll take the 2/21 Delta flight, which is also the last flight of the day to the state. Therefore, if this flight gets canceled, he likely won't be able to make the trip and will stay committed to UGA. Obviously, messing with commercial flights is a slippery slope. I'm not suggesting that anybody does anything illegal, but does anyone here work for Delta? If some loyal UGA pilots or flight attendants call in sick at the last minute, the flight could be canceled and we could keep Rayola. Maybe someone working could hold the flight up for maintenance issues.

At the very least, he could lose his check bags, so he'd have to experience the Nebraska winter without a jacket. I'm just spitballing ideas, but if anyone has anything else, those would also be appreciated.

The phrase obviously messing with commercial air travel is a slippery slope was that's an all-time- All-time. Yada, yada, yada.

Yeah, obviously, we just got to get this out of the way.

I don't think there's a gray area.

For that. Yeah, probably not.

Slippery slope is a- Probably not.

Yeah. Slippery slope is doing a lot of work. Yes, in that phrase. I'll put it.

That way. Yes. Okay, your Hotsee, Cool Throne, Jake.

My.

Hotsea is the Detroit Lions.

Because next on their schedule is the and.

Russell.

Wilson has the.

Baby bump. Yeah, he had a baby. Yes, so.

That's Saturday night. Great Saturday triple header, by the way.

Yes. All teams.

Above 500. My cool throne is hanging the banner because that's exactly.

What the Lakers will be doing for.

The in-season tournament championship. They're hanging a banner.

Oh, no.

I love it. They want a championship.

Is it going to be a special colored banner?

I think.

It has to be small. Like neon.

It has to be smaller.

It's different than their other championships.

But that has sparked some discourse. If it stays around, I guess you have to hang a banner. It would have been cooler if the Pacers won and hung a banner because that would have been like, That's nice. Lakers, you've won championships.

A lot of them. It would also be funny if the in-season tournament never happened again and they just had the only banner.

In the in-season tournament. Yeah, that would also be great. Okay, good job, boys. Let's get to our interview with Stav. It's time for our interview with Stavros and shout out to Body Armor. Body Armor helps us stay hydrated throughout our interviews with the biggest guests in the world, packed with electrolytes and no artificial sweeteners, flavors, or dyes. Body Armor hydrates the best athletes in the world, and more importantly, us during interviews. Buy Body Armor today. Visit the Body Armor Amazon store or retailers nationwide. Available in stores nationwide. Head on over to Body Armor store on Amazon and get yours today. Thank you to Body Armor. We're always drinking Body Armor. So head over there. And here is our good friend, Stav. We now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest in studio. It is Stavvy, babe.

What's on those?

The Greek freak. He's here. That's right. He has a new Netflix special out right now. You got to go watch it. It's called Fat Rascal. Let's start there.

Yeah, dude.

Why did you call yourself fat?

You look good. Thanks, man. I do appreciate that. But this thing, fat is not a bad word. You know what I mean? I'm trying to take it back. You could be fat. You could be a beautiful motherfucker. You get your titty sucked. You could be fat. People like fat. You're in Chicago now. If there's a city that respects a fat person-.

Big people.

I love walking around. Just big people. I'm respected in this town.

Yeah. That is power here.

That is power.

That was a sign of you were eating well.

You had money. City of broad shoulders.

This is a city where you could call someone a pipsqueak. You know what I mean?

I really mean it. A pencil neck.

Imagine if you brought home a skinny man, if you were a woman who had to meet your fat father and you bring home some Brooklyn fucking pussy, 90 pounds, they would be pissed off. The skinny man here is like- How.

Is he going to provide for you? He can't even provide for himself. Look how.

Skinny he is. To be honest, I wanted to call this special fat little slut, but they said no. They said no? Hey, man, if you google that, your special is not coming out.

I like a James Brown tweet. He tweeted out, damplips. Com.

I like the word rascal, too. That's a very underused word, I think. I think so, yeah. Would you call yourself a rascal?

I would absolutely call myself a rascal.

It's hard to be a rascal in your 30s, though. I know. But I think that we all actually apply to that.

We're still the rascals. You're playing dodgeball out here.

We're rascals. It's a good thing to have. It's like never lose your.

Inner rascal. Totally. This is truly like the Little Rascals. I know you have to legally probably employ what, four women? But this is the like, he man, woman, haters club. You know what I mean?

We have a clubhouse. That's great. I was listening to another show you're on, and you said something that really hit me hard when you said that you have gotten maybe not the best shape right now, but you're at a point where you can't have any black and white pictures of yourself.

Absolutely. If they see a black and white picture of Stob, they're just like, Oh, he's dead.

He's dead. Yeah. I can't get into photography right now. Because if people see fuck, if they see an old time, if they see one black and white me gazing off, like softly, you know what I mean? They're going to start texting my mom being like, Oh, no. How can we help? Yeah, it's tough when you've gotten fat that you cannot. I've hit a couple of different points.

But your brother is fucking jacked. I ran into him right before I left New York at the museum. I was with my kids and he just came up to me. He's like, Hey, I'm Stav's brother. I was like, Dude.

You're fucking jacked.

He's got to.

Get you back in shape. I know. It's funny because he just started running a business and I would just go and hang out. I was like, Oh, sick. I'm going to help my brother with a gym. He's going to be my slave. He has to work me out whenever. And he's like, No, I have to run my gym.

Yeah, I.

Have clients. Sorry, you fat, cock sucker. Good luck out there. I was like, Fuck, dude. I help you buy these fucking equipment and you throw me to the fucking wolves to get fatter for a year? That's what he did. But we're going to get back to it. I'm going back to Baltimore for a couple of months.

Nice. What training are you going to do? You're going to do Olympic lifting?

I have gotten so fat where I have to do the train. Like when an old woman breaks her hip, those are the workouts.

I have to do. You're in the pool?

I have to be in the pool. I have to do really thick rubber bands. I have to stretch those out a.

Little bit. You got to do the supported treadmill where you're strapped into it to take some.

We don't want to add any weight here. We're just going to do resistance bands.

It's so sad because I tried to get back. I was like, I'm going to get a jump on it on the road. I'm going to work out.

That is the worst.

Thing that's ever been said. I've just been injured one lift my whole body.

I've been going through that the last, I don't know, two years where your body just accumulates injuries and they never go away. It's like you step out of bed one day and you spray in your foot. You're like, Well, my foot's going to hurt for the rest of my life. I'm just done. That's what's wrong.

With my foot. Also, the workout on the road, the most I work out on the road is I pack gym shoes. That's it. You pack it and you're like, Yeah, I'll work out. You just never take them out of.

Your bag. No. Now I'm getting too fat to walk, too. I'm like, Fuck. I need the elliptical. I'm hurting my feet walking. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I literally need an elliptical where my feet are locked in place. But I'm going to look for a water treadmill. That's not a bad idea. I like that. I'm going to be fucking walking.

On this. You need the Babe Ruth workout where those old videos of Babe Ruth where you just sit there and they would jiggle him. Yes.

There.

You go. You worked out, babe.

It's like a board that women used to stand on that would just shake them back and forth and that would make them lose. Or you could reach the point where you're just like, I'm going to be a sauna guy. If you sweat, that's a workout.

The executive workout, the steam, sauna, shower.

The sauna era is coming. The sauna era is absolutely- It might be here. It's here, dude. How different is this from just a towel around my neck? You know what I mean? I need to just be one towel over my dick, one like this hanging out for hours.

I read your profile on GQ and the opening line of it. By the way, congrats on having a profile written.

Oh, thanks, man. That's pretty sick. That's crazy.

Gentlemen's Quarterly and.

It's picture stuff. When you're a gentleman.

With this tracksuit wide open with gold.

Chains hanging out. Listen, when you got famous on a Cum podcast and then you went on to get more famous asking people the last time they got pussy on the internet, you got to be in gentleman's quarterly.

You know what I mean? There's some old GQ executive. They're like, What the fuck?

Yeah, what's happened to this.

Fucking magazine? We used to get Christian.

Bail every year. Yeah. Why is the fattest man I've ever seen in the magazine?

Is pierce.

Branson dead? Yeah. What the fuck?

We wanted to get him in a.

Trench coat. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. I love it. I got to say to my boy Lawrence.

The opening sentence is great. Two days before Thanksgiving, Stavros Halkias sits at the dining table with three-bedroom, Estoria apartment, comfortably dressed in a lavender volure, surgical tikini sweatsuit.

That's right. Actually, it's this exact suit in lavender.

Nice. How many do you own? That's another way that you can tell you're getting old. You just buy the same thing, different colors.

The only thing I have splurged on in my life is the tracksuit. If I saw a number of what I've spent on tracksuits, it would be so embarrassing.

But it is if you're heavier the tracksuit, you put on a tracksuit and it's like Superman's cape. You become the most powerful man in the world. It's just a totally different vibe. Absolutely, dude. If you put on that tracksuit, everyone walks around and be like, Damn.

I respect him. Dude, if I was sitting here in a tucked in white shirt into some pleaded cackies, you would be like, Get this child molester out of here. You know what I mean? You'd be like.

Fuck this guy. But the tracksuit is like, No, this guy's wheeling and dealing. Absolutely. He's taking business.

Absolutely. Yeah. I look like I own the land that this building was built on. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm above the landlord. I just come in here. I'm like, Very good. How is everything, boys? You like the electricity I have here for you? Very much. Too many lamp, turn off, man. Too much electricity you spend. When can I meet sports guys? Where is Michael Jordan? I hear you guys do sports interviews. They're just like the guy. That's who I look like.

Yeah, the tracksuit is like, That guy's got something going on and I don't know what it is and I don't know if I want to know what.

It is. Dude, if you walk into, I've done this a couple of times where you walk into a place where everyone's in a suit and you're in a tracksuit, everyone's like, This guy fucking rocks. Everyone's like, Who... Or they're like, They just won't ask any questions. You could be so dressed down that they're like, This guy is a lunatic for coming in here like this. We're not asking any questions. Now it turns out I'm not in the mafia. I'm just so fat. I don't want to wear clothes that buckle. But still, I project that air.

You're right. The tracksuit is like a press credential or security credential everywhere you go. No one's like, Hey, why is this guy here? It's like, No, someone knows why he's here. We don't ask questions.

If you had a golf cart and a tracksuit, you're in. You could get into the White House.

Easily. I'm the President's bookie.

You're just Hunter Biden's best friend. That really is the truth.

If Hunter Biden doesn't have a friend that looks like me, that's fucked up, dude.

If you showed up to the White House, they would all just be like, Yeah, I think he knows Hunter. He's got to.

Know Hunter. Yeah, that's Hunter's pussy Connect. That's the guy who.

Brings him horny. That's the guy who dropped off the laptop.

He made a mistake. Well, I was like, Yeah, let me see my nephew could take a look at your laptop.

How many more pictures are we going to get out of that laptop? It seems like he had thousands of pictures and they're all... He took a lot of pictures of him smoking crack.

That's awesome. I love it. I'm so pro-hunter because it's like so many politicians our kids, steal our money and then what? Make foundations. Yeah, that's exactly what they do. Like that. Like, no, dude, let's fucking smoke crack, get our dick sucked. Look, if I can't have universal health care, at least the people robbing me are having a good time.

And just think about it this way. You know what I mean? Yeah, like Chelsea Clinton. She's got probably some crazy foundation. She's probably helping all these people. It doesn't really do anything for us. Hunter Biden is just giving us laughs and constantly.

Yeah, absolutely. No, that's the way to do it. If you're going to be corrupt. Look, Saddam Hussein's sons, except for all the murder and stuff, having a fucking tiger that you make gold armor for and shit like that, that's awesome. That's so much cooler than the foundation for somebody with lupus or whatever the fuck. That probably most of it's not even going. It's mostly going to be spent on in.

The office. Yeah, or something. Yeah, you're just buying art and laundering money.

Yeah.

Exactly. I want to see it just all out in the… Like, Hunter Biden makes mistakes that we would make. Totally. And he's the President of.

The Senate. And he's not on a secret pedophile island. It's all out there. You know what I mean? It's just paying for it. -it's just transparency.

-yeah. The numbers, it was like a million dollars in hookers in the last five years. He was just putting up Wilt Chamberlain.

Fuck yes, dude.

That's so sick. It'd be so fun to hang out with for one night. There should be a cameo for Hunter Biden or people like Hunter Biden? Just like, One night, come party with me. Just chill with Hunter? Yeah. Hey, just chill with Hunter for a night. I can show you my world.

When Joe's over, dude, when Joe's dead, he might become that guy. He might rent himself out as a party companion.

Yeah.

We're going to get back to Stavi in a second. He's brought to you by Pardon My Cheese steak. That's right. Pardon My Cheese Steak, sponsoring the Africa Bowl. Billy is over in Kenya, Uganda right now training with the boys. Thanks to the part of my cheesestake, hold on to your taste receptors because we're introducing the stars of the show, the Chicken, Bacon, Ranch, Cheesestake, the Irresistible Chicken Tenders, and the monumental Big Cat Combo. I'm also going to say you can order yours, Billy's Way, which is when you get the sandwich and then you turn it over. That would be a good way to tie it into the Uganda bowl. Whether you're a cheesestake aficionado, a finger-food enthusiast, or simply someone who values the art of comfort cuisine, this menu has something for everyone. Order now in part of myteasestake. Com. That's pardonmycheasestake. Com, also available on Uber Eats. Now here's more Stavi.

I want to talk about your special real quick. Last time you were on, you had a special on YouTube. That's right. Now we're on Netflix. What was that transition? Is that a no-brainer? Or were you actually thinking like, Well, YouTube was sick because people could just watch it and it got to a lot of people?

Yeah, I definitely thought about it because the internet, like I said, has been the best thing in the world. You guys know it. Our whole careers, our lives are hysterical because of the Internet. Like I said, from Comptown to just literally crowd work clip, just posting clips. Then my YouTube channel, too, tons of people find me from YouTube. I thought about it for sure. But it just came down to Netflix is the biggest streaming platform. We forget about that because we made our shit on the Internet. But there's so many other people to reach where it's just some regular motherfuckers that are watching suits. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're not on YouTube. They're not clicking off of like, they're not going from like, Was Jesus black? You know what I mean? They're not going to conspiracy YouTube over to stand-up. They're just like watching, they're sad the office is gone from Netflix and they need something new to watch. It's like, Let's expose myself to them.

You know what I mean? How many of those people do you think turned it on and they're like, What the fuck? Yeah.

Hopefully a lot. I hope I'm- I was.

Watching The Crown and then I got this recommended to me. What just happened? I love that idea of just people being.

Like, What the? They probably laughed. I would love, yeah, half were disgusted, half laughed. We take that half to laugh and then we fucking double it up, do the next one. But yeah, it's just sick. I mean, it's also the thing of like, I know you guys, not to bring up fucking… I guess it's like, imagine if Barstool, Van talk hadn't failed. That's a Netflix special, you know what I mean? Yeah. Imagine if, and you guys were fucked for being too… I think it was too early because I think if I tried to make a mainstream thing back then, that was cancel season, dude. I feel like now people are over it. You know what I mean? If you guys wanted, in a heartbeat, you could have a fucking legacy TV show. But you realize like, Fuck it, we'll make it ourselves who gives a fuck. We're in a hilarious studio. I don't have the fucking Barstool resources. So it's cool to be with Netflix where they've put out some of the best specials in the last 10 years. The modern iteration of standup, that's pretty much the major one. It was just a cool thing to do.

They were great to work with. I was shocked. I was worried they'd be censoring shit. They were cool, dude.

Except for the fat.

Little slot. Except for not being able to call it fat little slot, which I've tried to call two specials in a row, and I don't think it'll ever happen.

You've heard from people you went to high school with that didn't know that you were doing stand-up, and they're like, Oh, shit. Stavi is on my TV right now?

Yeah. Now it's not only them, but also people and relatives and Greece and shit. I can't pretend I'm not successful anymore. That's the hard part. Now it's like, Fuck. If there's some expense in the village, I got a spring for it. You know what I mean? I got to fucking… But yeah, that's another thing. It's like people just do... People were just like, Holy shit. To them, it felt like it feels real, where it's like, I've been out here for however long since I was 19, whatever. It's just been going good the last couple of years. But yeah, there is something perception wise, where it's just like you get on Netflix, you get on this mainstream thing and people are just like, Oh, yeah, I guess you're a real comedian.

Yeah. Have you thought about maybe Giannis sitting down on his couch and he opens up Netflix and then boom, there's Stavi? He's probably.

Seeing you. Dude, he's in the special thanks. Giannis Adepta Kumbo is the last name in the special thanks for inspiring me to be a champion.

Wait, have people tried to cancel you at any point?

I don't think so.

I think so. It is over, and also, comedians-I.

Actually don't give a fuck.

Right, comedians have lived in a world that it's nice that you guys be like, We're making people laugh. That's the job. Totally. We do say stuff that is crazy to laugh.

Totally. You can opt in or opt out. Let's have a good time. If you don't like it, great. I don't give a fuck. Fine, go away. I don't give a... Just come to the show or don't.

It does feel like the world has moved to that spot and it's a lot nicer. Where people are like, Guess what? It's not for you. Don't listen to it.

Totally. Exactly. I don't know. They might, still, whatever who gives a fuck. At the end of the day, that's why starting your own thing. When I first left Compton, I was like, Damn, I don't want to do a podcast. But then it did. A few months later, dawned on me like, Yeah, it's good to just have your own thing no matter what. Just again, looking at you guys, looking at everybody who's done their own Internet thing, even other comics. A podcast is just like this. You get to connect with your fans once a week, whatever. At the end of the day, they cancel me. I'm not allowed to fucking be on Netflix or-.

You still.

Have your podcast. -my podcast. I put my own shit out. Then I'll make my own. Shane, just fucking Shane Gillis just made his own sitcom. Yeah, he filmed his own thing. At the end of the day, that's what's cool about comedy and having your own audience. That's why I'm so grateful for people to just directly go to my shows, subscribe to my shit. It's like, I'll just be able to make whatever the.

Fuck I want. Shane is a perfect example where it's like the SNL thing happened. That was the height of the cancelation era. Then he just made a 10 million times funnier SNL. It's like you guys fucked up. Exactly.

Shane is almost like cancelation Jesus. He died for all our sins, and now no one can get canceled anymore. Because it's like, Go ahead, cancel me. I guess I'll get more famous. You know what I mean?

I have more fans.

People will.

Like me even more?

He fucking defeated the nerd, the fucking tattletale nerd.

That one guy who tried to cancel him. I'm sure he just sits at home every day and he's just like, I thought it would work.

I've only made him.

More.

Powerful. I thought my life would be fulfilled tearing down someone else.

Yeah. Now that's a pipsqueak. That's a pipsqueak.

That's a total pipsqueak. Yes, absolutely.

You do have a very hardcore audience. Your fans fucking love you. With the clips that you put out, I know you do a lot of crowd work. Do they start going to shows, wearing stuff, hoping.

I hope, stop roast me. That's so funny. Somebody comes looking stupid as shit. Some people will yell out. You can tell when somebody really wants to be a part of, but that's just not how it works. It's not going to be funny if you have some shitty joke that you've thought of, you know what I mean? I try to avoid that. The magic is in someone who doesn't want to be talked to. The magic is in someone who even just doesn't really know why they're a friend of a friend. You can sniff it out, and it's like, Let's just have a real conversation. Let's get to know you. Or somebody who yells out their thing and they have something in their head. They're like, Ron Jeremy. They've just been thinking about a thing I've heard 500 times. Then you let them bomb, and then you're like, What's going on with you, man? Do you like your father? Then you're just like, Why do you feel the need to yell out like that? You psychoanalyze them and shit. It's the best. I mean, it's fun to just fuck around with people. That's only a little part of the show.

I only do like, Honestly, if you come see me for an hour, I'll do 10, maybe 15 minutes of crowd work just to feel like you're not a robot. I always did that even before I put crowd work clips on it. I was like, Let's make this feel like a live show.

Yeah, it's different than every.

Show you do. Exactly. That's what's cool about Stan. It was like every show is a little different. But yeah, we try and avoid that shit. But there was one guy who came to a special typing, dressed in full Tiger print, and I thought he was fucking with me. I think he was like a tech bro who just was trying... Those fucking nerds get money and don't understand how to be cool. They just overdo it. I swear to God I didn't fuck with him for 20 minutes of the special typing because I thought he had a developmental disability. I was like, There's no way a grown man, you know what I mean? He was like, here on his own would dress like this. Then I figured out he wasn't.

We've got a guy sitting in this room in the booth right now that's going to do an hour of stand-up in Vegas probably. Hank is going to have to be a stand-up comedian. Full Hours set in Vegas. Do you have any tips for him? First Timer? Get up on station. He's very nervous.

Yeah, he should be. It's going to be horrible. An hour is a long time, bro. That sucks, Dick.

It's a long time.

Our idea was for him to just get up there and just be the world's first cover comedian and just tell everybody.

Else's jokes. Yeah, I thought he should do Carlos Mencia's set.

That'd be great. Oh, Double Covered. Yeah, Double Covered. That's like Korean fried chicken where they fry twice. Yeah. Hank steals twice.

He's screwed.

No, Hank is so fucked. An hour is so long. Where I think he needs to break it up with like, we were talking a little bit outside. Stories are a nice. It eats up some time.

A little-He could do magic. If I had lost, I would have actually tried to do an entire magic set.

That's just a lie? -that's just a lie.

-one.

Man show.

-that's not a lie. It's such a fun.

Thing to say. It's a one man show. Well, yeah, unfortunately, I did beat you.

But I.

Can't hear the boys. It's a one man show, and he can't do questions from the audience. He can't do a Q and A, anything like that.

Oh, one man show. You should make up getting molester or something, Hank. You should make a fucking bummer like a theater piece.

Surviving Barcel, my edition?

Yeah. Yeah, make up how these guys have abused you.

He should do his version of Nunez.

Hankyet.

When was the first time? How long were you doing standup before you did 60 minutes?

A long time. Fuck. Literally five years, probably, before I did an hour, easily. Even that was tough. I was like, Fuck, this is going to suck.

You got to get up beforehand, Hank. You got to do a couple of sets somewhere else. I know.

Yeah, you got to do. It's going to be so… Because when you realize how fast it goes, because you're going to have… This is what happens when everybody starts comedy. It's like you think you have an hour easy, and then you get on stage and it's like-I don't have a minute. -two and a half minutes and it's over.

Wait, Hank, you want to try your material?

I don't.

Have any. You did like 30 seconds of your bit.

I spent a little bit of time on Friday night just looking at a piece of paper, starting to write ideas, and there's not much.

What about your Dave Portnoy?

I like that you sit alone with yourself and you're like, There's nothing here.

Nothing.

I've got nothing. I'm bombing for me. Okay, Hanky.

I like callbacks. That's the only time I'm staying up. I appreciate that the stay-ups that set something up and then come back to it 45 minutes later. That's a goal. That's on.

The vision board. That means you have 10 seconds. You have one joke and then you mention it 40 minutes later.

No, he's got 10 seconds. He says the first joke, and then 10 seconds later, he does a callback.

Yeah, first joke. By the way, I love that because it's like no additional. This is clear. Hank really is going through the motions of being a new comic because that's like callbacks are like complete bullshit. They're gimmicks. You have to round up applause. They're gimmicks. They're gimmicks. They're just like, they're just round of applause. They're just to get an applause break. A comic with too many callbacks really is. But one is good, but you don't want to overdo it. I think, okay, let's go through the Stobbers, Howcuse School of Stand-up Comedy, sexual embarrassments, Hank. You know what.

I mean? That's good. I do that. That's the other thing I realized. I've kept a private-life, dating-life-last-private-last three years. That I can open up. I think I can… There's some stuff that I've wanted to say that's funny that I just haven't, but I think that this is a good opportunity for that. I think so. That'll give me a minute.

We're 59 down. All right.

I could do a song. This is my other plan. You get one song. I get one song, so I want to get 30 minutes song to break it up and then finish. Maybe the last 30 minutes is just roasting my coworkers.

You think you could do that for 30 minutes? No. The comedy central roast that were produced and had 10 of the funniest people in the world, those were one hour. Those were a lot of editing and a lot of writing went into it. You think you could do half of that by yourself?

You might just get mean. You just might say the meanest stuff.

About all that. That would be awesome. I think if it's a one-man show, I think you're going about this the wrong way. Be fake dramatic.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Do a magic trip. Do like what? You can learn a magic trip.

Yeah, but you'd be like, I was going to learn.

A fucking magic show. I was. It was going to be terrible. It was going to be the worst magic ever, but I was going to try.

To do it. A dance number? Why not a dance number? You should get some tap shoes. Yeah, tap shoes. I could be like fucking...

The.

Raquette. Shirley Temple. What the fuck is her name? Shirley Temple? Yeah. You get a little, Oh, do an orphananny thing, costume changes.

Oh, costume changes would be big.

Get a pole out there, do some aerial work.

That's the way. Yeah, dude, you're going about this the wrong way. An hour of stand-ups, you're not going to be able to do that. It's going to be crazy. But you could do 15 maybe of stand-up.

You should smash some fruit in Gallagher- Like our style. -like our style. How many of you.

Smash some shit. Oh, this is great. This is great. You got to break it up into segments. You could probably do 15 minutes of just stand-up. Not going to be great, but what you thought was going to go into that hour, you could do in 15. Then we have the song. Let's say it's six minutes, you know what I mean? Then we have a dance now. Then you have a dance number. Then- A magic trick. -magic. I know you said no questions from the audience, but what if he did like... You know those fake people that pretended they were psychics? What if he pretended to do like... What if he did a 10-minute segment where he's with a D? Somebody's mother with a D recently died. You know what I mean? That works. He pretended to be a psychic. There's a lot of like, you know why Cedric the entertainer got his name Cedric the entertainer? Because he would book himself on shows where he did not have an hour and he was called the entertainer because he would play the saxophone. He would sing, he would dance. We got Hank the entertainer here, dude.

We got Hank the.

Entertainer here. What was that stupid instrument we all learned? The recorder. The recorder. You got a recorder, did some hot cross bun. I was.

Going to save it. I was going to learn a song on the guitar. If I can do multiple songs, that changes everything.

Well, I think there should be one sing-song where you sing.

And then one-You can get the whole.

Crowd singing. -and then one instrumental. That could be fair.

We could allow the crowd to sing a song together? Yeah. Mr. Brightside or something?

Yeah. I was thinking a stars-born song.

Tell.

Me.

Something, girl. What about Hank? You should also think NBA half-time stuff. Like maybe we can get a dog. Those type of things.

Unicycle. Balance some fucking plates on a Unicycle. Yeah.

We do have the unicycle here, but I can't fucking ride it.

You can learn. Get ready to learn.

Unicycle, buddy. You're going about this wrong way. Donkey show. You get fucked in the ass by a horse. That's the big closer. Do you want a donkey show. Or if you want to do more tame, ping pong balls coming out of your ass. You could be wearing a kilt and then you just go, and they come out of your ass. You don't have to show your ass, but they could pop out. Drop this. Yeah, dude, that's a part of my balls. That's a good commercial for part of my balls. They come out of Hank's ass. Oh, the lottery? You do a lottery drawing out of Hank's ass?

Get up there and you're like, I have one number in my ass.

And whoever guesses it in the audience gets it in the audience gets their own lottery ball machine. Gets the ball?

Yeah. Dude, there's a lot here.

Dude, yeah.

All right, so 15 minutes to stand up and then build out the rest.

Yes. I think that's fair. The good thing is even if it's bad, it's going to be so bad that it's going to.

Get-it's going to be bad. It's going to be bad. It's all even. You don't have to say even.

Yes, I agree.

You're holding out hope. Part of my take is sponsored by BetterHelp. Whether or not your family gives gifts during the holidays, you get to define how you give to yourself. The holidays are a great time to do that. Whether it's by starting therapy, going easier on yourself during the tough moments, or treating yourself to a day of complete rest, remember to give yourself some love this holiday season. I've personally benefited from therapy in the past. It's helped me get through times of loss. Therapy is a great tool that you can use to help get your thoughts in order and feel better about yourself. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient. It's flexible. It's suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. In the season of giving, give yourself what you need with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp. Com/pmt today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/pmt. Stavi is also brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. I personally use the Farmer's Dog.

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Should we talk about the Ravens?

Let's do it.

How are we feeling?

We're feeling good. I mean, look, I have to take this, you're of two minds, right? Where you're the objective. I do think they're the best team in the AFC. I still in Lamar. I still think the defense, even though fucking Stafford, shredded us, it was fucking annoying. Now, he did get a couple of insane throws where it's like, I was like, Where did this come from? Why is he good again? A couple of touchdowns, that motherfucker was off his back foot with somebody who was coming at him clean and he got a couple of those throws off. You can't even really be mad at the defense. But objectively, I still feel good. But there is that fan doomsday shit where it's like, Why are we the classic team that the narrative of playing down to your opponent?

We're the classic team of them. You can't step on throats. Exactly. You've had a couple of times where you've done it with the Sea Hawks and.

The Lions. We didn't, though, because when you blow a team out, there's never even that moment. It's not stepping on their throat. That's not taking the game over in the third quarter and being like, Fuck this. You've been hanging around all game. Now we go up by three scores. We've been up by fucking… It was never in doubt.

The Browns game is the one that concerns me the most. That was the old school Ravens where it's like the Ravens were up, whatever, two touchdowns. It's like, This is the moment in third quarter. If you score here, the game is over, and you let them back.

In, then you lose. But it's not just that game. I mean, the fucking Steeler's game. The fucking the Colts. We lost the fucking Colts. I'm a little worried. I don't know, man. I don't want to say anything sacrilegious, but to come out of a buy and to have some weird coaching moves. It's just like, I'm a little.

Worried about.

My boy, Johnny. I don't know, dude. You should look fucking awesome after a buy when you've got such a sick team. I thought the way we handled the first half yesterday was weird. We didn't use our timeouts. That challenge flag where it's like, Dude, it's a fucking touchdown. What are we doing here? You have a sick arm. Congratulations. That was fucking awesome.

There's a frustration, Frank. We always talk about how much we love it when a coach will check.

It's basically- But that's the whole job. It's not to be front. We're the fucking… Yeah, a dumb ass on the couch like, Fucking challenge it. The coachs are supposed to be like, No, it's a touchdown.

They revert to their inner six-year-old where they try to unplug the PS2 and they're just like, Fuck this. It's not count. They just say, Nuh-uh.

It was not a touchdown.

Bullshit. We used to pause Madden when your friend was on a great drive. You're like, Oh, my finger slipped.

Yeah. As he.

Released it. Yeah, it's like, no, I just need to collect my thoughts.

Sorry, dude.

They are the best team in the AFC. I mean, the Dolphins, we don't know about the.

Dolphins yet. You'll find out. You get to play the Niners and Dolphins. I know.

Get to is an interesting way to phrase that, but yeah. You're right. We'd rather find out now.

The Ravens are in a weird position where they are actually on the field. They're going to get to decide in the last month of the season, both won seats in the NFC and the AFs. Holy shit. If they're going to beat the Niners and Dolphins, someone else is getting the one seating the NFC, and then the Ravens are going to get in the AFC. If they lose to both, it's going to be Dolphins and Niners.

Yeah. No, that's true. Yeah, it runs through Baltimore, baby. That's right. The whole fucking NFL through Baltimore. I still believe in Lamar. I think he's the fucking man. I think we could have a really, because here's what I'm telling myself, because it's always like, don't step on next. They don't get up for the games that aren't… That Lions game was such a huge state. Everybody was talking about going into that week. Everyone was like, Now we find out about these teams. I think that's when they played awesome. The same thing can be said with these Dolphins and the Niners games where it's like, All right, if you, Motherfucker, show up here, then I'm not scared because that means come playoff time where the stakes are so high, you'll be ready to go now. Does it scare me that we might have aif we don't get out of that. The first round is when I would feel the worst about the Ravens in a weird way because it's like, what if they doomsday scenario play Joe Flacko.

Well, I'm looking at.

It right now. Doomsday scenario play Flacko.

If the season ended today, you'd have the buy. We don't know what the Dolphins are going to do on Monday, Friday, football. But right now you'd have the buy and then you would potentially play Flacko in the second round at home. The prodigal son. That'd be the hardest. Joe Flacko Revenge Game.

That would be the hardest. That would be brutal, dude. That would be like, you know how the Clitchgoes said they'rethey couldn't fight because their mom would be too sad. I would be the Clitchgoe's mom watching that where it's like Flacko versus the Ravens. I would be like, Oh, don't hurt him, Joe, please. Just throw a couple of pigs for old time's sake for us. I don't know. They're going to be wrong. Again, the team is awesome. I love the... It's so cool to see. The defense just, I thought they were going to be solid, but they've been playing out of their fucking minds. I think the pass rush is crazy. The secondary can scare me at times. That last drive, we just... I would like to have one more great fucking DB, but whatever, we can figure that out next year. But I do think this team has played fucking awesome. I believe in Lamar. Things are lining up nice, especially we get Andrew's back. That would be fucking crazy. But if we get him back for the playoffs, even though I like Lakeley, I think he's fucking good, too. But yeah, dude, I'm all over the place because this team, the highs have been so high and the lows have been so low.

It's a classic team that just doesn't let you enjoy anything, really.

Lamar, he's going through his seasonal, effective diarrhea that he has.

Which I respect.

It's like right after Thanksgiving and the holidays, eating a lot of greasy food. Absolutely. He just takes like Tuesdays, Wednesdays off every.

Week just to shit. Just to shit himself. Which again, I like to see myself and my quarterback. Shitting too much has affected my.

Career a lot. It happens every year. He just has a week where it's like, Hey, what's going on with Lamar?

Pepto is the MVP of my December without question.

I said it after Thanksgiving. If I had died and they did a coronary autopsy, they'd be like, This man is 98 % Pepto. How is this possible?

He doesn't have blood anymore. The pepto shits are weird. They're green. You think you're dying.

Or jet black sometimes.

Yeah, jet black is tough. I take pepto multivitamins this time of year. Every day I wake up and take a couple just to be safe.

Just trying to stay on paths.

That's our only thing that we do as guys to monitor our health is we turn around, we look in the toilet after we shit. That's how we know if we're sick.

Or not. I'm currently, the last month, I'm dying. Yeah.

It's tough to see ribbons out there. Can I get a nice log? Can I know that I'm healthy like a horse?

I've got like three packages in my shit. I'm like, Oh, I got to cut down the.

Big, like corn kernel.

Yeah. Yeah, dude.

I'm not digesting these.

It is sick. I have to say it's incredible to watch Flacko, dude. It just feels right.

No matter what, his spiral is just so.

Fucking good. Well, that's what it's like. It's like a girl you dated in college and you've drifted apart. It's like now we're in our 50s and I see her at a wedding and it's like, She's a little worse for wear, the wrinkles or whatever. But that rack is still singing. That's Flacko's spiral. It's like a great pair of titties that never sag. No matter how fucking old Flacko gets, you could put him theoretically, I think, into his 50s. If he's behind the best offensive line in the league, I think he could play forever. Just fucking tossing those beautiful spirals. Whether it's... It's so exciting, too, because it's like touchdown, PI or the worst interception you've ever seen in your life. All three are in play at every single time he drops back. And it just kills me it's for the fucking Browns. It fucking kills me to see on the fucking Browns. And they don't even give him the... Who wears five in the Browns? Who's got five? Why the fuck is the disrespect given Flacko 15? Yeah, he gets five.

It's crazy. Definitely not a retired number, right?

Yeah, but it is true. Flacko has that. When Flacko unleashes one, you're like, This is going to rock. It's fucking awesome. Because it's either going to be an awesome completion, an interception, or a hilarious ball that's 15 yards past the receiver.

Yeah, so hits somebody in the fucking stands. He's the man.

Sometimes he throws it almost straight up in the air. Remember playing that game 500.

With your friends?

Yeah. That's what Flacko does with his deep balls. He throws up to the sky.

It's beautiful. We talked about the numbers a little bit. I'm starting to get a little bit of an old man take. This is my most Republican take where it's like, the numbers have gotten out of control. We have to rein it back a little bit. There's too many cool numbers out there. You have to be like... I think, first of all, the zeros, to be number zero, you have to be the best guy on your fucking team. There's got to be a rule where it's like to have a weird number, you have to be awesome. I'm seeing too many fucking bench pro, ball, absolutely. Zero is all pro. Then I think you have to decide only one guy in each position groups gets a cool number because that way it pops. If you see a zero, which the Ravens are a great example, Roquan has zero, that's fucking awesome. He deserves it. But it's like, I want to see a couple of 50s around him. I don't want to see fucking cool numbers. We can't get to the point where kickers are in the 40s, they're in the 60s. It's not fucking college. Let's show some fucking respect to the National Football League.

Yeah, when a wide receiver group doesn't have anyone in the 80s, you're like, This.

Is wrong. No, so wrong. There should be a rule where it's like, the NFL decide there has to be one. Two awesome receivers have to take 81 and 84 each year. Two pro bowlers, one has to have 81, one has to have 84. It's fucked up for not to be a cool 81 or 84.

Yeah. There's a whole group of kids in America that are going to be like 10 and 11 are the coolest numbers for wide receivers. It's like, What?

It sucks. Your fattest receiver should wear 88.

Like a big guy.

Like a big guy. I still liked when a linebacker wearing 40 so you could technically be a full back. That was cool. That's the coolest that you get, or 30. That was always sick when the linebacker at 30. But even it's getting out of control. Clowny, I love that he's fucking rejuvenated on the Ravens. He's played fucking awesome. It's fucking weird. He's wearing 24. It is really strange. It's fucking weird.

You're right. It does look like.

College football. And I hate that. And look, I know you guys love college. I'm a fucking pro football guy. That's the football I like. Fucking Edge rushers need to be wearing 90s or if you're really fucking cool, maybe a 50, right? Maybe you go LT with it or whatever the fuck.

If you're running back a single number, then you have to also return pints. That should be the way.

You have to be fast. You can't be a fat running back with a single number.

I was saying you should get into college football. It's the best.

It's just too much. I know, but it's... Listen, I'll pop into the big... I treat it like I watch all the big games. I watch the... I'm happy when there's high level football on a Saturday. That's fucking sick. I liked rooting just on principal against Alabama. The SEC Championship was cool, but I can't commit to another. It is a lot of time. I love sports for just like... I'm barely keeping it together between hoops and... I will say the NFL has burrowed back into my life. When we first met, I actually was not... I was barely watching the NFL because of Lamar. How much I love Lamar has really gotten me fully back into the NFL when I was a teenager. I could see a world where I get into college all over the place, but it's too much, bro.

It's a lot of time.

It's a lot of time. It's a lot of time. I like cherry picking. I like just watching the good ones. You know.

What I mean? Yeah. It's the bad ones, though. The best. This isn't even football.

Yeah, I know. Who is it? Iowa has just a good punter.

Yeah, they had 1,000 more punter than offensive yards. I mean.

You have an illness that you're saying that with Glee is crazy.

It's so much fun to watch. Because watching a team like Iowa play football, it's so much fun because you're like, if they just keep it a one score game, they will get a pun block or a.

Pun.

Return, and then they'll win the game and people will be so mad. How did this happen again?

That's a team where everyone should have to wear a number in the 60s. Even the quarterback should have to be wearing 63.

Duplicate numbers. It's a great game to have on a secondary TV. It's a great side dish of football. If that's your main course, if you're an Iowa fan, you fucking hate it. You hate that other people, you get embarrassed that other people are watching your team. You're like, Please don't watch my team. It affects me personally. Of course. Let me put you on a new old Man Years at Cloud thing that we've.

Noticed this year. Please.

Have you noticed the mouthpieces? Yes, I have. The dangly mouthpieces?

It's so fucked up how old I'm getting where I'm like, That's not safe. I'll just be watching a guy running. I'm like, Watch out, buddy.

I think not only is it not safe, I think that if you look at Diggz or some of the guys that have the big mouthpieces that flop around, that flops in their field of vision sometimes when they're trying to catch a ball. You can't tell me that that doesn't affect you a little bit. Totally. Some guys, this is where it's getting so bad that it's cool again. Yeah, the two mouthpieces.

The one for show and one for go. Yeah, that's.

Fucked up. There was a dude on Georgia that had three mouthpieces. He was wearing one. He had one hanging from his face mask, and then he had another one in his ear roll.

All right, that is fucking awesome. I do think the big ones are so... Like, DK wears one that's almost like, Is this a fetish.

Sex thing? Yeah, it's a pacifier.

What's going on here? Does he want a giant woman to just fucking cradle him and suck his dick while she's doing it? What's going on? I'm like, He's into something interesting.

You know what I mean? You mentioned basketball. Yes. By the way, Anthony Walker, Linebackers 5 on the Browns.

That's bullshit. Get the fuck out of here.

That's bullshit. How happy that Ianes re-signed because I know that there was probably in the back of your head, your guy, Sam Morale, who was on the show was doing some.

Heavy recruiting. I was with Sam. Here's the thing. I like Milwaukee. I love as of city. It's fun. But I would love if Yanis left. I would.

Have loved if Yana left. I would have loved if you were there. I guess that's true. You're just rooting for Yana.

I'm just rooting for Yana. I have nothing to do with Milwaukee. I was with Sam Drighan. You should have seen our text. There's a couple of days where it's like, I think it's happening, dude. You know what I mean? Where it's like, I think he'slike, I DMed Thanasis. He gave me a wanky face. You know what I mean? The fucking dots he was connecting were so fucking funny. The thing is Thanasi, I think he almost did sign with the Knicks, and that would have really gotten me going. But I'm happy that he's with Dame. I know they have some shit to figure out. More than anything, what scares me about the Bucks is the coach. I just think like rookie coach and then he chased off the Blazers coach, Terry Stats. He was supposed to be his main assistant, which I always love when a new coach has a guy who's done it before and just they left in a shouting match. It's a little scary, especially because fucking I don't know, I hate to say that Boston is good, but it's funny when it seems like their whole team is without Poizingas, they fall apart, which is hilarious to think about.

But I'm happy for them. I think it's cool just to have two awesome guys on the same team no matter what. Even if you would say it would be more sound to have kept Drew just because of the defense, Damon, Yanes are fucking awesome. Sports at the end of the day is like, rooting for sick shit. It's rooting for-.

That's why. Cool shit that you've never seen happen.

Cool shit, dude. The cool shit fucking is sky high with Damon, Yanes on the same fucking team in the playoffs. Are you kidding me? Like two clutch motherfuckers with completely different skill sets. It's going to be awesome. That's why back to the last time I was on here, when we were like, I was worried Lamar was going to leave, I was like, Just fucking pay him because I want to root for Lamar. Even if we don't win, all the Sundays of fun that I get with the fucking crazy spin moves that that's what it's all about. That's why it's like, yeah, fuck it. I don't care if the buck's like, I don't care if analytically it was not the right thing or some people claim it's not. I'm still not convinced. It's fucking awesome. Those guys.

Fucking rule. I was also just so happy because it's always great when a city like Milwaukee sticks it to Miami. Totally. That is true. And like a.

New York. A win for fat people again.

Right. You guys don't get everything.

We're not living in 30 years ago where, yes, if he was in New York, he would probably be a bigger star. But I'm convinced that with the way pro sports have gone, Instagram has changed the game. You can hook up with anyone anywhere. You know what I mean? A lot of it was like, Oh, I want to be in a big city market because I want to be a star and have all these women.

Of course. You're fine now. You're fine, dude. You can fly them out, no problem. You need our Delta Hub, probably. That's the other thing, though. It's probably been good for Yonas because I've said this again, two of the most powerful cheating energies is Greek and African. He's been a family man. He's a family man. He's a family man. You put him in New York, all that time in Athens might take over. The Greek, what is it? He might have to fucking cheat on his wife.

What is it about the Greeks that make him a cheating?

It's a cheating culture.

Is it just the guys or the guys and the girls?

That's a great point. I'm more familiar with the classic just like... It's just like men thinking they're... The patriarchy is very strong, you know what I mean? It's just like, Oh, yeah, you can get a little pussy on the side and still be a good dad and husband. Just blown off some steam.

Guys, need a.

Break, too. Guys, need a break. Go get a silk shirt, button it down four buttons, get the gold out. You know what I mean? Get a little fuck on your own vacation. What, you're not going to get head on the sneak on vacation? I guess I'm not going to go to the beach either on vacation. Get the fuck out of here.

I paid for this. I deserve the loss.

I work hard. I work fucking hard, barely managing a diner. I deserve some pussy. I'm a really shitty contractor. Itry to deserve to cheat.

I have to be on the phone three times a week with Cisco. They brought over the frozen Calomari. I get to get to a stranger.

Absolutely. I know you talk about your dad and your standup. Has he ever said anything like, Hey, what the fuck?

No, not really. Really? I think he said a couple. He's been like, Come on. He's like, Everybody thinks. He's made veiled illusions where he won't just be like, he's like, Yeah, and you get to say whatever you want about me. You know what I mean? He'll say some shit like that, but it's like, All right, man, well. In a weird way, that did make our family like... The problems I've had with my father in a weird way have turned around to like, they provide for our family because they turned into bits that got me noticed and that made me have a ton of money that now it's like, All right, if somebody has a problem with the family because you cheated, we can cover medical bills.

You're enabling him. He's like, Oh, I'm a.

Great dad after all. This is all part of the plan. Come back around and he's an awesome dad again.

Yeah, you're lucky that.

I cheated. Yeah, no, we're getting it going, man. I'm going to hang out with my dad again. You don't want to take too much fucking… I don't know. You don't want to hold too many grudges too long.

Well, I would imagine, too, talking about it. You're almost like having the conversation you don't want to have with.

Him out loud. It's out there. Yeah, exactly.

We didn't have the uncomfortable like, Hey, dad.

Right. You never have to have it in person. You can do it on stage. He watches it, and then we can literally go have Calomari at his friend's diner.

You never have to address it head-on. Men should never do. Exactly. Got a problem with someone you just.

Deal with. Actually, Hank, if you have any issues with your father, now is that hour to get him out there, dude. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean, your stand-up is so fucking.

Funny, man. Thank you, brother.

Appreciate it. Have you been just traveling everywhere? That's the one thing I don't… Does it ever get old?

Oh, yeah.

Because when we had Sam on, who you're very close friends with, he was like, I'm addicted to stand-up.

Yeah, Sam has a real problem. I mean, we all do. It's different. But there's a lot of comedians who don't want to be with their thoughts for even one second. You're constantly thinking of bitch or constantly doing this shit. It does get too much. I think I probably kicked the addiction of pure stand-up. I was just like, Let me just get... I just wanted to have a Netflix, but I want to have a big special on a mainstream platform, and I'm ready to chill, dude. I'm ready to just fuck because it does get time. You get fucking bored of just hotels and shit all the time and never being home. I've probably been home... In the last two years, I've been away from my house much more than I've been in my house cumulatively. It's not even close. I've probably been home 10 days straight five times. It's fucking crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's always been like a little like going around, but whatever. At the end of the day, it's like, I don't want a real fucking job and I can't complain because this happened because I got lucky and got successful the last couple of years.

It's like that feeling of like, What if this goes away? That's really why I've been on the road non-stop where I'm like, This could go away tomorrow. I got to fuck it. People are buying tick. I think there's some post-COVID shit happening where everyone likes to be around. I think comedy is in an interesting place where the experience is pretty good compared to a lot of other live shit. Look, football is great. Going to football game sucks. It's so much better in your house. Same thing with concerts. I'm old now, dude. I'm not going to stand around for four fucking hours. I need to sit down if I'm going anywhere out. I don't think people are going to see live music as much. They are, but comedy is just like, Look, sit down. Have a nice time. Laugh. It's a really good. Technology is making football and concerts and shit. It's less appealing, whereas technology makes it so that you get to find out about standups and then it'll never take over the live experience. Because a standup show is, again, every show is different, everything's special, especially if you fuck with the crowd even a little bit, you at least feel like you've affected.

Even if a comedian doesn't do any crowd work, the energy of that crowd affects every show. It's like this cool thing where I think we got really lucky as an art form, where it's like people find us and then they come see us and it's.

Better live. The other thing that I think comedy has going for it, and I'm obviously very much guilty of this, but going to a comedy show, unlike a concert or a sports game, you can't take out your phone.

You really just sit.

There and you are in the moment. For one hour. We are all just slaves to our phone. Having that restriction where they walk up and down, they're like, no phones, this is actually nice.

Yeah. Just put away your Instagram and just listen to a man talk about his little penis for.

One hour. It is what you brought up, though, about it all going away. That is why I love your comedy and love you as a friend, too, because there are certain people who you can tell they probably take it for granted, but you don't. No, dude. We have the same moments. Probably three times a week, I'm like, This isn't my fucking life. This is incredible. When my kids are like, Are you going to work? And they're like, What are you going to do at work? I'm like, I'm going to watch football.

I can't help you with your fucking homework. I have a fucking three-leg parlay that's about to hit. My job is to.

Watch.

Tv. What the fuck? I'm going to go to work. What the fuck? I'm going to watch football for six hours. Then I'm going to play a little bit of basketball. Then I got a golf simulator.

I'm going to go to work. I can't come to the recital. Me and Uncle Jerry might lose $50,000 today. It'll be funny for people to watch us lose it.

I had that moment on Saturday with Army Navy. I explained my son is starting to get interested in sports. Army Navy was on, he's like, Which team are we rooting for? I had the over and I was like, No, we're rooting for whoever has the ball.

How old is he?

Six? He's four and a half. He's three and a half. He'll just ask the colors.

He already understands the concept of the over and four and a half. He always.

Says, Are we rooting for the blue team or the white team? I was like, Whoever has the ball, we're rooting for it now. That's our favorite team.

You have warped that child's understanding of competition.

So much. Well, listen, I've said many times on record, three kids. I got one and three shot here. I want one of the kids to just get smart enough at math that they can make.

Me a gambler.

A system. That's it. That would be my goal. One day they come and they're like, Hey, dad, check this out. And I go to their computer. It's an Excel form. And they're like, Look at this. I back tested it. It's 54 %. Thank you. The proudest moment of my life.

Taking over the family business.

Improving it a lot.

You're the best.

Barely losing. It's like, wow.

Find a way for me to.

Barely lose. That's beautiful. Yeah, he's going to be playing kickball. He's going to be taking the under in fucking recess. He's like, No, catch that. That would be fucking awesome.

He's going to think he's maybe like a participation trophy kid because he's rooting for the other team. He just thinks that sports is about everybody's.

Score all the time.

He's like, No, I got five Laffy Taffies on the over. Make me proud.

Make.

Me proud. When is the first time? Whatwas the first wager you ever placed?

It was the first bet I ever won was when I was 12 years old on a family vacation in Key West, Florida. I won a hundred dollars on a turtle race. That was it. That was it. I was like, I got a hundred dollars for this? Yeah. From that moment on, I was like, This fucking rock.

Wow. Imagine the fucking the alternate universe where you lost and you're just some fucking guy.

I probably would have just been staying at the bar and chasing it. No, but that was the moment where it all clicked. I was like, That was fucking fun. I fucking won because the turtle went a little bit faster than the other.

Slow-ass turtles. That's awesome. Have you ever seen the turtle races? They're amazing. No. They dump a bunch of turtles out in a circle, and then the first one to make it to the.

Outside of the circle-It's the best.

You just sit there screaming at turtle.

That is the best. That sounds fun.

Yeah, and I got a crisp $100 bill and I was like, This is incredible. This is incredible.

A hundo back then is just serious. Oh, dude. That's awesome. -the absolute best. That's a new copy of Madden, a couple of fucking cheese steaks.

Whatever you want. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. Hundred goes a long way.

Got you. The movies a little bit.

Beautiful, dude. All right, so what's next? I'll do the last question, rowback question. Rhoback. Com, most comfortable clothes out there. If you're not wearing a tracksuit, you should be wearing rowback: the joggers, the shorts, the sweatshirts, the Q-Zips, the polos. I was wearing a vest. I have a fleece now. Rowback has it all. Rhoback. Com, use promo code take 20% off for first purchase. What's the next year? Is it just travel, travel, travel, or is there something big on the horizon?

No, bro, I'm fucking taking some time. I feel like the last... Every time I've been here, I've talked about how I'm going to take some time off.

Yeah, you're just like us. There's no- But it's happening. The worst feeling in life is to be the guy, and this happens to me all the time where I'm like, I just got to get through this week.

Yes, dude, it's been that for two years.

I say that every week. I'm like, What the fuck?

I swear to you, I'm not touring for a lot of next year. I'm pushing it way to the end of next year. I am actually taking some time off. I did a movie called Let's Start a Cult that hopefully we're trying to get into some festivals. I wrote it with some buddies. I was in it. I'm trying to be Hollywood, Halcus a little bit, trying to act a little bit. But honestly, I'm just trying to chill and be a human being. I've been living... I love New York, Great City. I know you guys just abandoned us, but it was fun and it's like I want to actually live there. I'm just going to try and chill, Stavi's world still. I'm really proud of the special and the way those work, they bounce around for like six months. People discover it. I'm just going to put my feet up, hang out, chill out, try and get slightly less fat where I don't have to worry about dying every time I take a bunch of drugs. It's tough when you have an awesome night and you're like, I got fucked up. I ate fucking ribs. Maybe I took a dick pill or two.

Then after a beautiful night, you're just laying in your bed. You're like, Damn, I hope I wake up tomorrow.

My chest hurts.

I'm fucking breathing. My heart rate is up and I'm just relaxing in theory. So trying to get slightly less fat. Yeah, dude, I'm just going to chill, go to some fucking Nicks games, go to some Ravens games. I'm thinking about going to the Dolphins game. Even though it's better to be at your house, it's like, I feel like I need to just one of these games. I've been on the road every other game, so I might get there. Yeah, dude, just chilling the.

Fuck out. I'm sure that will re-energize your material, too, just being a.

Normal human. Well, that's the other thing. I was like, Yeah, you can't really… I even felt like at the end of this year, I was just doing a little too much about traveling and about… That's not what being a human being is. I am so stunted in so many other ways that it'd be nice to fill it in a little bit. You know what I mean? Not just be a guy who goes around, does stand-up and shit. You know what I mean? Have some fucking life experiences and just hopefully come back the next year with an even better special because I actually took some time and lived life.

How does one find material? Where do you.

Discover.

It? I would say just take a year off, Hank, and just- Oh.

No problem. You're done.

You got to play more golf. That's the thing. No, I was going to say no golf. Just walk around. Yeah, What if we could make a Faustian bargain where it's like, no golf, but you'll have the best hour of comedy ever. Would you do it? No. Damn, it's an hour, bro.

It's only an hour. I can bomb for.

An hour. What about some golf trick shots in your hour?

Yeah, that I.

Can do. It would be funny if you had the-.

Oh, he bombs at the trick shots? That'd be funny.

Yeah.

But not even having the-I'd start.

Blasting balls in the audience. Not having the stand-up mic, but having the headset mic like you're a preacher.

Yeah. That's good. Walking around. Preacher, Janet Jackson even. You should fabricate a story about your lured affair with the lady from the airport video. Oh, I work.

Oh, fabricate. Okay. All right.

You should talk in detail about what happened.

He's.

On true events.

I would be Hank's Kiss and Tell, where you just get real graphic.

You, Hank's Kiss and Tell.

With every sexual experience you've ever had.

Yeah, but-like, insanely, Graham. Yeah, real graphic. Talk about pubes and ingrown hairs and shit like that.

Just gross everyone out.

I believe in you, Hank. I think, Hank, whatever he does, it's going to be funny for us. You might be just sweating your ass up on stage, but I will have a great time.

I just have to hit variety, Hank, because it will not be even it would be funny. Even for you guys, it would run out in like 10 minutes if he's just bombing for an hour.

Yeah. Are you going to be at the Super Bowl?

If the Ravens are there, I will. But if not- All.

Right, so if you're at the Super Bowl, maybe we'll get stopped in 15 minutes opening.

If I'm there, I would love to be- What.

Are these fuckers? Well, no, they'll do it too, but stop will open maybe MCAP the night or something like that.

I'd love to.

Because then people would be like, Oh, we're actually going to see. It would be very funny to see you do a tight 20.

And make.

Two hours. What are we watching?

Do you ever equate your stand-up to how many laughs you're trying to get in an hour? I was like, If I can get one or two laughs.

That'll be good.

You'll get one or two in an hour? I'm sorry. Yeah, we talk about laughs.

For a minute. I'm saying for you, obviously like a pro, you're looking for both. Do you have a number in mind or is that like?

I guess if I really had the ballpark it, I think of the average of two a minute.

That's.

A lot of laughs then.

It's a lot of laughs then. We go like five laughs.

Have you ever watched Friends and there's a laugh every five seconds? Yeah. That's insane.

If you really start thinking about how to tighten your shit up. I was worried about that on the special. I was like, I want this shit because I tell a story in it, too. I'm like, Even the story, I need to have parts where there's laughter. I get real nervous when there's no laughter. But yeah, dude, you'll be all right, Hank. Honestly, if it's 60 minutes and if you have fucking eight segments, you'll be fine. You know what I mean?

You got this.

All right. That's a good planning.

Yeah. All right, well, Stavi, it's always great having you on. We're going to have to convince you to do a full week here.

I will.

Especially when you're taking.

Time off. How about this? Because the summer here is out of control. It's so nice. I'll be back in the summer for at least a week to hang out.

Do your own pod. You can hang out.

With us. Do some pods. We'll get in shape. We'll get in shape. We'll get in shape. We'll get in shape.

We'll get in shape. We're going to have a squat rack over there.

Next to the basketball court. I will definitely be back in the summer for sure. Okay. Hell, yeah. I love it. Appreciate you, fellas.

Thank you, guys. You're the best. Thank you, Tommy. You're the best. Go watch Fat Rascal on Netflix.

Stavi was brought to you by Blue Chew. Have better sex with Blue Chew. Blue Chew is currently the only place to go for chewable versions of Sildenafil and Tadalafil. These ingredients help men achieve stronger, harder, longer-lasting erections for sexual activity. It helps combat all forms of ED, which also includes performance anxiety and also maintaining an erection long enough for sex. The chewable tablets have the same active ingredients you'd find in Viagra and Cialis, but they're in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost. Bluechoo is all about having confidence when it comes time to perform and having happy and healthy relationships. A Bluetooth subscription includes a free online consultation, 24/7 medical support, a prescription if approved, and discrete delivery straight to your door every month. Chew it and do it. Use code PMT for your first month free. Use code PMT for your first month free when you go to Bluetooth. Com. Now here's Jaden Daniels. And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest for one question with the quarterback. It is Heisman Trophy winner, Jaden Daniels. First of all, congratulations. Incredible, incredible season. I'm sure that it's been a whirlwind. We're going to do one question. I'll start. My question for you, Jaden, is you win the Heisman and then you know how the internet works. People are pulling receipts from maybe when you transfer from Arizona State. How satisfying was it to be like people had it wrong when they thought that I was making a mistake or that I wasn't good? Because that had to have been an all-time, all-time like, What are you going to say now? I just won the Heisman.

I'll.

Say, I ain't a liar. It was pretty satisfying.

Everybody had.

Doubted me from Arizona State.

I'm happy that.

I.

Proved them wrong at the end of the day.

Yeah, it's incredible. It's got to be great. My question is about the Heisman trophy itself. First of all, it's really heavy. So I'm just curious to know how you've been taking it around. Did you take it out to dinner with you that night? Did you take it on a plane? What was the process like bringing the actual trophy around?

So I didn't take it out to.

Dinner with me at night, but.

I.

Slept with it in the bed. It slept right next.

To me. When we came back, I had it on.

The plane in.

His own seat. So it's heavy.

He can't walk too far.

With you. I'm going to start getting tired.

Yeah. Did you buckle it in on the seat next to you?

No.

Not at that.

It was just in right there. I love it. All right, Jake, why don't you ask your question?

Hey, Jaden, Jake Marsh, part of my.

Take podcast. Congratulations on winning the Heisman.

My.

Question has.

To do with your.

Pre-game meal. At one point you.

Went with Subway sandwiches, but.

Now it's been reported that you go with an omelet.

And two waffles.

How did that come to be? And can.

We expect.

That tradition to continue or maybe change once you go to the next level? Good question, Jake.

Thank.

You.

I don't know, that's a good question. Good question. I don't.

Like.

Eating too heavy. So the omelet is cool and then we got some fire waffles here at LSU. So you're.

Usually, I just.

Grab two waffles. I don't want to be grabbing four or five. I feel too heavy.

Two waffles is actually the perfect amount. If I were a scout or an NFL GM and I asked a prospective quarterback how many waffles do you eat before a game? If you say you eat two waffles, you're skyrocketing up my big board right now. If you say one waffle, that's candy ass. I don't want that. I want two waffles.

It's facts. That's facts. All right, Max, what do you got? Hey, Jaden, this is Max, part of my Takede podcast. This question is something we do for all.

College athletes that come on the show.

I'll name a list of random cities throughout the United States, just.

Completely random cities. You're going to tell me.

Which one is your favorite. I'm going to start with Washington, DC, New York City, Boston.

Atlanta.

And Las Vegas.

-las Vegas. -random cities. The random cities. Las Vegas. Oh, okay. Interesting. Very interesting. Mark Davis doesn't really eat waffles. He's more a PF-Chans guy. But then again, this was random. This was totally random, the cities we just listed. All right, Mims, you got a question? How far can you throw a football?

Oh, good question. That was.

A great question.

I.

Think.

Probably over 70.

Whoa.

Hey now.

On a good day.

Hey now. This isn't a question. It's more just a question. What was the far that you throw it in the game? I don't even know. That's a good question.

Good question though. It's a good.

Question but it wasn't.

A question. If I could throw a football 70 yards, I would just go outside and just throw things all the time just to see how far they go. Yeah. Hank, do you have a question?

Yeah, Jaden. Henry Lock and part of my take. How are you doing?

Congrats on that. That's your question. How are you doing?

What's on the pre-game playlist for a Heisman winner? What are you listening to before a big game?

Good question. Honestly, I listen to.

Some young boy.

Little Baby, Drake and Rod Wave.

Two to get me.

Hyped up and two to just calm me back down as I get closer.

Yeah.

All right. Do you have a question for us?

Who did you all.

Put to win the Belindra call? Who?

Marvin Harrison. Definitely, Marvin Harrison Jr. I have nothing but respect for Marvin Harrison Jr and his father.

Oh, no. I actually did Mylik neighbors. I don't know if you know him.

I.

Don't. I'm not trying to play. I go watch him turn on his tape. Yeah, yeah. This isn't a question either, but when you were putting up eight touchdowns against Georgia State, that was like a video game. Yeah, it was. That seemed like the funniest time ever. You were just in the zone. But yeah, football is fun at the end of the day. Yeah. Also, this isn't a question, but if any of us in this room, maybe me, went to the University of Wisconsin and wanted to see their team win on New Year's Day, would they have to beat Jaden Daniels, PFT?

Hypothetically, I think if I were Jaden Daniels, I would probably get ready to go to the next level. I probably want to prepare. I probably want to spend some time working on the details, maybe go out to a training camp where I specifically work on the 40 time, all that stuff to prepare you for the NFL combine.

Jaden, hypothetically, if you were Jaden Daniels, what would happen in the bowl game? Hypothetically.

I would just say, he's going to have to be the LSU team with Jayden Daniels.

We're going to see.

Oh, no. I got another question, but it's not for you, Jayden. It's for Big Cat. Big Cat, if you were Jayden Daniels, and Brian Kelly invited you on a recruiting visit and he made you stand in that circular thing where he did a little dance. How hard would you have to try not to laugh while that picture.

Was being taken? It would be hard for me not to laugh.

What about you, Jayden? If you were Jaden Daniels?

Yeah, I would be laughing. I wouldn't lie. I would be laughing.

I was definitely.

Hands down. But the other thing is.

With the whole.

Wisconsin.

Thing, it's just TBD. Okay, TBD hypothetically. Yeah. Tbd hypothetically to be determined if Jayden Daniels, if I was him to step foot out there, probably gets Wisconsin or not. So it's TBD. It's TBD. Hypothetically speaking, of course, because you're not Jaden Daniels, but you're speaking hypothetically if you were Jaden Daniels. I am. Well, Jaden, congrats again, man. Unbelievable. We love LSU and the whole fan base. It's so much fun to watch. I mean, you're a legend now forever there. That's got to feel knowing that you're going to have a career in the NFL. It's going to go great. But you have a home in LSU and all these fans will always welcome you as a Heisman winner. It's got to be a pretty cool feeling.

Most definitely.

It is just being.

Up there. You know how many greats.

Came through LSU.

I'm happy to be a.

Part of one.

Did Joe reach out to you? Joe Burrow?

He did. I talked to Joe a couple of times. Yeah, he's pretty damn good. Yeah, pretty damn good at football. Pretty damn good. All right, well, thank you so much, Jayden. Congrats on the Heisman. And if you happen to see Jaden Daniels around the campus, just let them know that you don't have to play the bowl game. People will remember the Heisman. The bowl game doesn't even matter.

No one cares. You get the nice.

Gift bag. I'll let them know once I see him if I run into him. Okay. All right, perfect. Yeah, just let them know. No one was going to judge you if you sit out of the bowl. In fact, if you see Jaden Daniels, you should tell Jaden Daniels that one of the biggest sports podcast will actually commend Jaden Daniels move to not play against Wisconsin in the bowl game.

I.

Let him know. Okay. All right. Perfect. All right. Thanks so much, Jaden. Appreciate it, man. Thank you, guys.

Heisman Trophy winning Jaden Daniels was brought to you by Hooters. Hooters is serving up two new bundles this football season. The fan favorite comes with 10 wings, fries, and a drink for $16.99. If you're with your friends or if you're feeding a crowd, check out the home team spread. 15 bone in, 16 boneless fries, Buffalo chicken dip, and a pitcher of beer for 41.99. That's a great deal. Valid at participating locations only, so check with your local hooters. We also have a Barstool exclusive offer for Hoot Club rewards members. Download the Hooters app, enter in coupon code, Barstool23, and you get five bucks off your order of $15 or more. Valid at participating locations only, so check with your local hooters. Download the Hooters app, enter Barstool23, you get five bucks off $15. Try the new football bundles at Hooters.

Okay, let's wrap up the show with some guys on checks. Great show, by the way, boys. Wiseman trophy winner, fat rascal.

A little bit of everything.

Soundboard. Soundboard, Show-hay. Davito. Football. Fucking talking to me? I'm Tommy Davito. I'm the Pauke Slayer. The Bear should actually sign Tommy Davito.

Every team should be so lucky to sign Tommy DeVito.

Are those new.

Glasses, by the way? They're old glasses.

I didn't.

Just notice that. I found them in my car.

You're in your late 60s Las.

Vegas vibe. I think it might be the facial hair, too. I've received several very alarming responses from people regarding my facial hair. Fuck them. Well, they're responses like, Are you okay?

No.

Fuck them. Or like, Trying to figure out if there's something wrong with it.

People have- We support.

Our boys here. My facial hair is so bad right now that I'm turning people into Hugh Lorry from House. I'm trying to figure out what mystery diagnosis I've got going on. Listen, if you're face-balled like me once every year and a half, you got to try a heat check, see if maybe the facial hair grew in while you were shaving. Yeah. I don't think I'm at that point just yet, but it's.

Probably- Don't let them.

Get to you. Oh, it's not get to me. By the time I'm 60, I'm going to have a sick beard. Yeah.

All right, Hank, guys on chicks.

Guys on chicks question. Thought this would be a good one with Christmas coming. I'm an engineer and I live in Utah. You'll see why this fact is important. Okay. All of my coworkers are men. I have no idea what to get them for Christmas. I don't want it to be weird, but also need something general because they vary in age. I move from the Midwest and my go-to is always coffee, which definitely would have been Stella Blue this year, or funny socks. The problem here is a ton of them are Mormon and can't drink coffee and also don't think slightly inappropriate jokes are funny at all. Help. Okay, so-Gifts for engineer.

Mormon Men. Engineer Mormon guys.

Fleshlight.

Actually, I was going to say funny socks.

Milk.

I feel like funny socks is right up the alley of a Mormon. This is tough. Name one wacky thing about you. Well, I really like fun socks.

Yeah, this is tough.

Let's see, cash?

Cash, rowback. A rowback gift card? Actually, it would be great because that's my the biggest thing is when you're buying a gift for someone that you don't really know so well, you got to give them an option for an out. If you get them a gift card, they get to decide what they want. Whereas if you get them something like socks or something like that, I don't even wear socks, so you got to give them the out.

Aren't gift cards like massive scams? No, I don't think so. Like 70% of card money doesn't get spent?

Yeah, people forget. I've done my fair share of not spending.

Gift cards. For sure. I think Jeff Bezos owes me $500 with all the Amazon I haven't spent. Let's see. Ice cream. What did you get him? Ice cream is good. -ice cream is good. -ice cream always plays for sure. Get him some ice cream.

Maybe an ice cream an ice cream.

I would just say going back to Rowback, it sounds like you're in quarter zip central. Just Q zips. Good point. I can never have enough.

Q zips. All those joggers.

Yeah, yeah. But keep it simple. Don't go crazy. Give them the option to buy something. That's what you got to do.

Hey, fellas. This may be a silly question, but a boy I really liked messaged me at 2:00 in the morning saying he heard a song when he was out at the bars and it made him think of me. He didn't ask me to come over or anything else he'd expect it to, I am. He's also never really been forward with expressing any feelings towards me, but the message made me wonder. God, I sound like a teenager.

I think we need to know what.

Song it was.

Here's the good news for this woman. If you didn't text back right away, or maybe you texted back right away, just know that he did jerk off thinking about you 10 minutes later. That's literally what that text was. He was like, 2:00 AM, I'm going to take my shot. I'm not feeling myself enough to really take my shot. But yeah, he was... You don't get a 2:00 AM text. That's a.

Horny text. I think it does matter which song it was, though. If it was- Back that ass up. -i'd say from The Window to the wall, that would be an issue. If it was, Oh, I'm still dancing on my own, that would have been sad.

The.

Freshman, birdpipe. Yeah, maybe he wants you to have a A-word. It definitely depends on what song it was. It's basically the equivalent of like, What if we kiss tonight?

But if he's out of the bar, he's texting at 2:00 AM.

I don't think he was at the bars. I think he was home with his pants around his ankles.

He definitely regretted sending that to you like 30 minutes after he sent it to you. 30 minutes. Well, it could be an hour, two hours.

We last long.

I said to my boyfriend, I can't believe winter begins next week, and we got into our annual seasons debate. Every year, he claims the calendar is obsolete. His seasonal calendar is fall runs from college football starting until the first Big Ten snow game. Winner starts then, and spring begins when the NCAA Tournament starts and summer starts the day after the Stanley Cup final ends.

This guy.

Is right. Do all men disregard the calendar and judge seasons based.

On sports? Yeah, the fact that wintertime starts on December 22nd, December 21st is bullshit. Winner starts the day after Thanksgiving.

I was going to say I actually disagree. I think Winner starts the day after January first.

You don't think December is.

The winner? No, because.

It's festive. No, December is the winter.

But it's something to look forward to. Winner is when it sucks. That's all of January. December is a fun time because you got holiday parties, you can get drunk at any time. When I think winter, I think January second to March Madness. That's when it sucks. Then right after the final four. No, the beginning of March Madness is spring.

I think that Christmas is a winter holiday.

A winter wonderland. It is, but winter doesn't suck when there are holidays in front of you.

No, but it's still winter.

Right, but it feels different. Like January winter and December winter are two totally.

Different pieces. I agree with that. Yeah.

One's fun winter. Maybe it's winter. Yeah, fun winter and bad winter.

Yeah, bad winter. All right. January and February, it's basically like, let's get through this. That's hibernation time.

Right, exactly. Whereas Thanksgiving to Christmas and New Year's is a fun stretch where it's like, we can get drunk at any time and be like, we're just festive right now. Fall does start the minute college football kicks off. People like to say like, Oh, yeah, it's actually whatever, the third week of September. No, that's not true. It's Labor Day. Labor Day is fall. Then I think fun winter is Thanksgiving to Chris or January first. Bad winter is January second to the Conference Championship Week. Then it's spring from Conference Championship Week to the NBA semifinals.

I would say that summer starts when the Pittsburgh Pirates are eliminated from playoff contention. I'd say Memorial Day. Memorial Day weekend, yeah.

But Fun Winter is like, December never bothers me. It could be cold in December. I'm like, Who cares? We're a festive. It's fun. Football's on all the time. It's when football starts to… When you get to the conference championship week and there's only two games and you're like, Wait, I have to deal with this weather all week and then there's only two games at the end of it?

You know what the worst is? The worst is the Christmas commercials that start before Thanksgiving. Yeah. Let Thanksgiving on its own. There's an order. Thanksgiving happens. It deserves all the accolades. It deserves its moment in the sun. It deserves the score bug on the bottom of the screen with the cornucopia, the leaves falling, the fruits, the meats, all that stuff. Then after you can start with the Macy's commercials.

A buddy of mine has a genius idea that we should absolutely adopt. He calls it the two-Christmas system, where you have religious Christmas on December 25th and then Santa Christmas on January 25th. Okay. You get two Christmases. It's basically a second Thanksgiving in the.

End of January. Listen, I'm all for.

More holidays. You go to church on December 25th or the night before, and then on the January 1, it's like no religion involved. You're just doing gifts and just pretending that Christmas is.

Still around. Yeah, I also like Donnie's concept of Jaloon being the best month of the year. That's June 15th to July 15th.

I like that. It's solid. I like that a lot. That's a solid stretch. That's a really solid stretch.

We'll end it with this one little tieback to everything. Hi, Cowboy fan Hank, Loser Max in the Hunt Big Cat PFT in Mr. Positions. My boyfriend hasn't stopped walking around the house for the last two weeks, screaming Tommy DeVitoo and holding his fingers up to the air. We've had chicken cutlets seven times in the last two weeks. At what point should I be worried?

Okay.

Just this guy's being dudes.

Yeah. What I'd say is this is no different than Linsanity for Asian people. Tommy DeVito. That is Linsanity for Italians. It is, Max. You know it is. They have their moment in the sun. Italians get this moment. It will peter out. We'll probably have a point where reach maximum Tommy DeVito. It's going to.

Lose two games in a row.

Yeah, and also like-.

It'll be a 30-for-30 about Tommy DeVito in five years. It's going to be awesome. Yeah.

When Tommy DeVito's dad is doing cameo and pitching a bunch of stuff. Everyone would be like, Okay.

Can I just make a request to everybody out there? I know that some people in the media listening to this podcast. Let's not dig too deep into Tommy DeVito's family. No. Let something fun happen and let's just all agree this is a fun thing. Let's not ruin it for anybody.

No.

Not all.

Italians are in the.

Mob if that's what you're trying to say. Actually, Max, that's not at all what I was trying to say. I think that's what you were trying to say. No, I was trying to say let's not try to find anything publicly embarrassing or maybe they said some stuff at a party 15 years ago.

Let's just not find out what Tommy DeVito's dad thinks.

Yeah. In general. Let's just let the entire DeVito family exist only as something that we see on our television and appreciate their nuances and all that stuff.

Cutlets and football. Let's keep it straight and let's keep it right there. That's the wheelhouse that we that everyone... It's a fun story.

Let's not ruin it. That's actually a little bit of self-hatred on your part, Max, thinking I was talking about the mob because I wasn't.

Well, you were thinking of.

Something negative. I was just saying like we just- You just.

All Italian are- We do this.

We do this with everybody. We do this. We find somebody and we love it. We love the story. Then there's a reporter out there that's like, I want to know more about everything that's happened in their life.

Although I will say it will be fucking awesome and very funny to watch when Tommy DeVito introduces Trump in a rally. Yes. That's going to rule. That is going to rule. That will be awesome. I'm all for that. I think we should Uber eat some chicken cutlets for football Sunday. Yeah. That sounds good. Yeah, we haven't had chicken.

Cutlets in a while. Espn needs to figure out what the fuck a chicken cutlet.

Oh, my God, that.

Was horrendous. It looked like a deep fried rack of ribs.

Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, it looked like deep fried chicken. That's not chicken cutlets.

Yeah, chicken cutlets, pounded flat.

Yeah, figure it out, ESPN. Abomination. All right, good show, boys. Numbers- Eight, 40. -41. Twenty-three. Pug. 56 Pug. Love that from you, Pug. What was yours, PFT?

I'm taking eight.

What was yours, Hank? 40. 15. Davino. No! Arpizon. Fuck yes.

He's running the numbers game.

Oh, that's awesome. I mean, it's Destiny. I hope he plays the NFL for 15 years. What a.

Fucking guy. Me too.

Tommy Davito. He's family. He's our guy. Max, are you really... You definitely have text messages with your family being like, You see this Italian? This little Italian boy. It's tough that he's on the giants. Yeah, but this nice Italian boy.

I will-What did you say last night.

I was watching the game.

And they kept.

Showing all the.

Tailgate stuff. I put a.

Little bit of sauce on the stove and then heated up some chibata.

Oh, okay, yeah. Just did a little dunk. Just a.

Little dunk. I wanted to feel like I was at home with Sunday dinner.

I think it's like Max is to Tommy DeVito as Stavi is to Flacko. Yeah. You love jail and hurts, but.

Something about him. Tommy would be nice.

Tommy.

Would be nice.

I like Tommy, but he's on the.

Giants and we.

Got to kill him. We got to kill him two out of the next four weeks.

Yeah, but he might kill you.

No. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

I'm in real shame. I'm in real shame.

All right.

See you later.

Love you guys.

I'd

say you're.

Dead in blue.

Today is another day to find you. Shine away. I'll be coming for you, love of three. Shine away. I'll be coming for you, love of three. Needless to say. I'm out of the city. It's about to be stone-read-out-of-green. Southern and just the way that the world is the way. You are the things.

I've.

Got to remember. You'll be shying away. I'll be coming for you anyway. You'll be shying away. I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me.