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Today is part of my take, we have Stevo awesome, awesome interview, probably the hardest I have ever fanboy doubt. We've had a lot of big guests, but Stevo, we basically went Chris Farley like, hey dude, remember that time that Preston farted into a tube and then you puked?
Or remember that time you got hit by an alligator? Awesome time, though, with him. He's got a new special out. He gives us a lot of behind the scenes stuff. So get ready for that. Also, maybe if you're listening in the car with kids, don't listen to the whole thing because there's some Stevo stuff they have to learn sooner or later. Devo stuff. Yeah, I mean, don't walk away from that saying, hey, Chris, Pontius has come.
Maybe I should like myself on Firebaugh. I'll say now. So that way when it when it gets said it doesn't feel as jarring. We have news around the sports world. We have the PGA Championship, we have who's back of the week and at this league and Billy is back. Unfortunately, we did not reach what we say. We had had two million downloads. I think we only had one million. One point nine. Yeah. So we were close.
So Billies allowed back. Billy didn't listen to the show, so he has no idea what we're talking about right now. Oh, so what did we say?
You said that if they got if they listened 17 times that it would up the listening rate and I get kicked off the show, OK, and then made several jokes about how many, like, shows should have done that with characters.
Got to know. OK, that's enough. All right. We got it. You're here. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So Billy's back. Before we get to all that part, my take is brought to you by Kashyap. Not only is the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest. Go download the cash app. Right now it is the number one social distancing app in the world. We love the cash app. It links directly your bank account.
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OK, let's go.
Right. How he was treated with violence. I'm look, I'm going to say hi to you. It's my take by. I wasn't a part of my take the cash out.
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Today is Monday, August 10th, PFG Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you? Hang on. You know, yes.
College football's been canceled.
Yeah, not officially, but it feels like read the writing on the ropes. The Mac canceled on Saturday, which, as we all know, the Mac is the most important conference out there. So the dominoes have fallen since then. Right now, as we're sitting here on Sunday night, it has not been officially canceled.
But I think we need to just expect the worst and hope for some long shot miracle to happen and have the season happen. But as we're sitting here right now, it feels like the Big Ten is going to announce that they're canceling on Monday and then who knows what's going to happen. I could still see the SEC being like, fuck everyone we're playing, which I will watch every single game.
But that is where we're at. I'm sad. It hurts pain. It's bad.
It's not a good position to be in as far as sports fandom goes. But I think maybe the NFL will step up this fall. And as long as they have a season, they'll probably have some games going on Saturdays.
So we could run into a situation where it's like game Thursday night game, Saturday afternoon game, Saturday night games all day on Sunday. So they'll fill the void to a certain extent. But yeah, it's going to suck not having college football on Saturday. The only spin zone is LSU back to back national champions. They remain the title holders.
What I don't I get I understand all of it because essentially it boils down to and I see all these tweets, people being like MLB figured it out, basketball figure it out, I'll figure it out. Go figure it out. Well, guess what? The difference is. This is the one sport where they don't pay their athletes. And if they paid their athletes, I actually think it would happen. They would basically be like, hey, do you want to get paid?
OK, come play, because you can't really ask a nineteen year old to go out there and play during a pandemic, not knowing the future health implications necessarily. Right. When they're not getting paid to do it. And the problem is the NCAA will do everything, including cancel the season before they pay their athletes. Yes. So they want to keep the the er of student athletes and amateurism alive, even though we all know that's foolish. But I still go back to the fact that I really do think the part that's not getting talked about and Trevor Lawrence had a great tweet thread that when you take football away from these huge teams and basically say, go fend for yourself, there is a possibility it can be at times more dangerous when you're like you're not getting tested anymore.
You're not under, you know, supervision all the time. You're not part of a team atmosphere. Basically go fend for yourself. And I think that's a valid argument that just kind of gets lost for everyone says we have to cancel it. Like there's nuance to this. There's the United States of America doesn't do well with no us anymore. But you're right. I think that like having access to world class health care or at least like United States class health care at the top of when you're like if you're an athlete at Clemson, you are getting much, much better care taking care of you than you are if you're just like a random 21 year old in Aiken, South Carolina.
And how about if you want to play, you have to follow. Like you have to wear mask and you have to socially just you have to you have to be cautious. Whereas the alternative is let's just let all the student athletes go out in the world and who knows what happened, because guess what? It's now they're just part of and I get the liability and everything. Billy told us the fact that one in 50 offensive linemen will die from a heart attack during a game, which I don't know where he got that fact out of his ass.
He literally just said that before the show. I get all of it. I'm just sad that we're probably not going to have college football this season. I wish they could figure it out. And it feels like it's being made to be a black and white issue when it's not fully that where I want to weigh what I keep going back to, though, if you want, I want to hear your way. But when I keep going back to is why why can't salute right now when, like, if in March New York was absolutely ravaged by coronavirus, now New York's doing pretty well.
Like, I don't I don't know. I guess you kind of have to because you can't just let people just linger there. But it feels like, I don't know, maybe delay it a month, delay two months, see if things get better and knowing that it probably won't. But at least you give the opportunity. That maybe we can figure out a way instead of being like here we are first second week of August. Everything's canceled, we're done.
OK, what about this idea?
I stole this from Breaking Bad. What if they just elected to pay the players? But they're like, we'll pay you guys each a dollar. Now, you're technically employees are minimum wage, like in Breaking Bad when they they save Bob Odenkirk life. Better call Saul his life. It was like, hey, pay me dollar. Now I'm officially your lawyer, right? You know, now I can now you can tell me anything that you want to say.
Anything if you find a way to make the players professionals. Now, what about this actually like a serious way to do it? What if just every football program disassociated themselves from the school technically? So they're like a small business that's being run in South Bend, Indiana, or a small business in Austin, Texas, or Tuscaloosa, one that like is a little bit separate from the schools themselves. So then all of a sudden, yeah, you can have like a loose affiliation with the campus, but you're not working underneath the NCAA anymore right now.
It's just like a collection of small businesses across the country that happen to kick ass at football. I'm in for this company. It's like companies, softball teams, right? You bring in some ringers, you pay the guys more to work at your company. So then you dominate in the season against the other power plant in Albuquerque. So, like, why not have a way where we can at least this this is a moment for college sports where you can say this is the time, if there was ever a time to, like, just get rid of the whole ruse, that is that they want these guys are money making right for you.
Here's what bothers me the most is why are all billionaires fucking dorks and losers? Because if I were a billionaire right now, I'd sit down and be like, hey, I just crunched the numbers. Seventy or so power. Five teams pay each player. One hundred guys on a team. One hundred thousand dollars. That's 700 million dollars. If I had if I had Bizos money.
Dude, if you're Bloomberg, that would make you a president. Yes. You could have used that seven hundred million dollars instead of your weird fucking three week campaign in just paid the players and we would had college football and everyone would have voted for it. Yep. Would you pay for your own stadium. No, no, no, no.
That would be tax incentives. Yes. I will get somewhere in my back pocket.
Listen to all the all the people will have to pay for my stadium. But, you know, but you wait for I actually think that most people, at least in SEC country, would take that in a heartbeat where it's like, yeah, raise my taxes one to two percent to fund a new stadium. Yes. Give it to billionaire big cat and he's going to make football.
I just wish we had one cool billionaire. Yeah. One cool billionaire who's like, you know what, I got twenty billion dollars. What's a bill. What's throwing a bill at this so that the country can be happy on Saturdays in the fall. Nothing.
Yes. If I looked that this is why the lottery needs to put out bigger jackpots, how much we need, we need billionaires out there that generates absolutely nothing to get their money, like somebody that is just given a lottery ticket for a billion dollars. A dude like that would come up with a sweet kick ass idea. Yes. This to Jeff Bezos has fucking one hundred and ninety billion dollars. You can't give me one bill. Jeff, Jeff, you fuck do it.
Paul, I shouldn't say this because now he's going to the robots and all that shit. Bill Gates has one hundred and thirteen billion. Give me one Bill.
Bill, the rock right now has an opportunity. Bill, if the Rock Florio put this out here, I talked about it last week, but if the NFL was able to work a bubble, then they could get the college players to play for it. I felt in the bubble, I don't think that's going to happen. I just want college football. I just what I just said to you was exactly what you're saying, but I put the letters SFL in front of it.
No, but the the problem with you're talking about the college. No. Gets college football players. You're your is college football players will then decide to play in the NFL to improve their draft status status. I think that actually would hurt their draft status for a good portion of them. You don't think about the downside because they're going to play against adults. And if they look bad now, they're upside's gone and now they can go like we always talk about, oh, you go from a third round to a first round.
What about a third round to a seventh round or what you could do if you're the NFL, as you could say, we're not going to have it be the same as last year. We're not going to be grown men. This is specifically for like college.
Then I'm fine with it. Yes. OK, so that's essentially just college players play. But I also you root for the laundry. It's a I mean, you need the NFL to be the, you know, the colors in the bands and all that stuff. It doesn't feel the same when it's whatever the Whipsnade versus the Crow legends. Yeah.
It's going to be a big gaping hole in the south this fall, and that's going to be no college football on Saturdays. They're might die there, Dixie.
I might die. You just killed Nick Saban duties. Nick Saban counties, coronavirus stuff. No, Nick Saban. Just Countians, I think since it's a football.
Yeah, but it's adjacent to it.
I think that if you're looking to set up a business in the south, just like start a church in the south right now where you have service on Sundays, your communion is Natty Light, Bud Light and I know Cheez its and cornbread and pulled pork and you just encourage people to show up and get drunk.
People are going to just be looking for an excuse to party. On a Saturday, and they're not going to have it this fall, the worst part about this is like just not knowing what's going to happen is they'll believe anything. So I saw some guy tweet. He had two hundred and forty six followers. He said he's an independent journalist. And his tweet was that Penn State, Ohio State and Michigan and Nebraska are planning on joining the Big 12 this year.
And I was like, this guy. He's making a lot of sense.
What if there's a conference realignment that just keeps happening into into September? Just ideas of teams that want to join the last conference that doesn't cancel the season. You're going to have these football powerhouses at least considering joining joining your conference.
And we do an opt in. And everyone, if you're t if your team decides the problem is I keep going back to this, like when we talked about, you know, players probably being safer if they're in the facility and they're playing football and they're being monitored. That's still does rely on the coaches being decent human beings, which most of them are. Yeah, like they will definitely take advantage of it. So in a perfect world, you hope, like, hey, if all the players were in the facility and they're getting tested and they had medical, you know, looking after them and everything, that was good, it's probably safer.
But then you just throw in the fact that a coach will be like, oh, you have coronavirus tough shit, you got to play. It would be hilarious if more your scholarships, if Michigan decided that they were going to be the last holdout and they started to schedule games against, like Little Sisters of the Poor and like we went back into sort of junior college that's still going around.
Make me do that in Michigan. When we do it, they go five and zero against teams that have like me that have like part time students and then they declare a national championship. Don't make me do it. I'm going to do also, while you're looking this up, I'm going to I'm going to quote our good friend in Rappoport because he said he I think he really has his finger on the pulse.
He said, imagine if college football had the kind of leadership that the NFL and the NFLPA showed over the last few months to put the league and its players in a position to play a full season amid a pandemic. Just the incredible hours of work and teamwork. And the NCAA is the opposite. Yep. Congrats on NFL for putting in the requisite 48 hours before the players reportedly have to figure out how they're going to handle the shocking.
He could send that tweet with his face all the way up. Roger Goodell's asshole.
Yeah, well, I'm surprised you could use his thumbs when they're both holding water.
Oh, my God. Yeah. So Michigan football, we can go back in time. Nineteen ninety six. They played Grand Rapids. Hi. Oh, yeah. Have Michigan play against high school. Fetim Harbaugh will be down. So they started the eastern Michigan, the Grand Rapids High. Then just a team named Physicians and Surgeons was a spread on that game.
They won that game only twenty nothing. Wow. Fucking God damn is Michigan overrated? And then they played Lake Forest, Purdue, Lehigh, Minnesota, Oberlin, Wittenburg in Chicago.
And this was like before like the teams are traveling by train. I would have to imagine they would they would invite teams and then teach them how to play football, then whip them up like like like every little brother ever do. Every Big Brother ever do it. Michigan to teach how to do this game now going to beat you by one hundred and eighteen ninety four. They played Michigan Military Academy Academy twice, twice and then they played. It's tough to beat a to beat make all of this.
I don't even know what these places are. This is we need to go back in time. We need to let Michigan just make their own schedule, go back in time and just start whipping up on random people.
I would watch it. Yes, I'd watch anything on Saturday. Mm hmm. I do hope they have NFL on Saturday. Oh, here's the only positive. OK, one positive. Let's finish this with one positive Kirker Arab Street. Chris Fowler on Monday Night Football will be phenomenal. There are great Monday Night Football players. They are. They're going to call. Yeah, they will be. That will be a good we won't have a season of complaining about money and Herb St.
Scott, the Trent Del for private jet that he can take around.
So he's not going to get sick. Yep. So that is one positive. There's the one positive that we can go with there that feels like maybe there's still you're. Yeah, I do think that there's a good chance that Nick Saban, the likelihood that he dies from having no football is actually way higher than the likelihood that he dies from coronaviruses. Right, exactly.
You are putting his life at risk. People who are deciding to cancel this, it fucking sucks. I would say him the Stoops brothers probably. Yup. I'm going to go with Jimbo Fisher doesn't I feel like he needs football. And Charlie Weis, he probably won't get his payment. That's true. How is this going to affect his bio, Herm Edwards? How is Herm Edwards going to be able to turn young young boys into into upstanding young men if he doesn't have a football season which to teach them?
Oh, man, we need maybe that's what we do. Maybe we have just a live cam like the when like a bald eagles about to give birth. We should have a live cam on Nick Saban every Saturday in the fall, just him puttering around the house. I would what I would bet on ice cream pies and watching the Weather Channel. He probably still gets up at the same time every morning. Absolutely. He'll drive into the office. So hallucinate that he's going to be playing like UAB, that we can drop a game plan for him, all right.
No, actually, you know what we should do. Yeah, without any sort of instruction whatsoever, we should just put Xbox consoles in the hands of the coaches and have them play an NCAA 14 tournament against each other. That would be good. And just watch them call those. Yeah, it's like it was a real game and yeah, all of them get pissed. Yeah. Watch that in a second. Now, people are probably saying you talked a lot about college football.
Aren't you missing a big tournament that happened? We're going to talk about the PGA Championship. Brooks lost the course one. What the fuck do you want from us? Of course, one this weekend.
He didn't he was hurt, broke his hip. Brooks injured his leg. No, you think. Wait, hold on. We would Brooks would never make an excuse. But if we were to make an excuse for Brooks, he was so clearly hurt. And anyone who's talking bad about him right now can go fuck themselves. We don't make fun of somebody that's injured. We don't root for injuries. We make fun of them when they complain about little ants.
The course one, it defeated Brooks Morikawa. He hit an all shot that worked. That's right. Was ego more shit. Yeah. And he was phenomenal. Yeah. He drove it to within what, like five feet on a par four. It was just it's actually perfect that he won in the exact way that Bryson would have wanted to win by like flexing his drive on a par four. And then Bryson had a chance where I think it was on eighteen, he could have gotten close.
And then he ended up about like one club length short.
So he wasn't strong enough to put himself in position to say, I've got to imagine that Bryson, he has stretch marks that he has on his body right now from putting on, what, fifty nine to forty?
It's funny because now he looks like a tiger. And right now the stripes, sometimes they'll have on, like ESPN his old picture and it just looks nothing like. Absolutely not. So it was actually it was phenomenal golf. I was I was glued to it all weekend. It was great that we got like primetime golf. The only complaint I have is when you get to Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening. And there was that moment, there was like six guys tied for first.
And your brain just says this is going to be incredible because we're going to have like a five way tie and a five way, like sudden death, you know, last man standing overtime. And then it just didn't happen because Morikawa had that insane shot. Yeah, you get all built up like this is going to be incredible. They're going to have to have five guys tee off for, you know, three hole playoff. And then he just that everyone in the last three, if your guy is not winning, then you just root for chaos.
Right. You have to do at that point and then it throws into play like, what do you do if there's a six person playoff? Is it going to take place tomorrow morning because it's getting late? Is it going to happen now? How many holes is it? How long is it going to last? Like one of the best sports experiences my life was back in, I think it was twenty eight Tiger. They had the U.S. Open at the end of that Sunday when you're like, guess what, we get an entire another day, like a bonus day of major championship golf.
That is something you like. I'm not doing shit. I work tomorrow.
I made some I made some golf fans very upset when I when Brooks had it, like a little bit of a hip thing. And I was like, there's never been a player. No. Who's who's played around with a leg injury in a championship. In a major championship. Yeah. It was like pro tiger one with a broken like Indonesia. Yeah, I know. I know who Tiger.
And also we don't know what Brooks as Brooks might have to torn ACL. You don't know that. Let's not judge a person's injury using the eyeball test. It's called a hip, a violation.
It was awesome. Those awesome golf. It's I mean, any major, whether you're talking about the Travelers' or the Masters, I all I do love it. Being on West Coast time, though. Yeah. That is so great. That's like you don't normally see golf in prime time like this. I expected like it'd be sweet if they put the Sunday Night Football guys up there with Jim Nance to do the commentary.
At the end of the day, when's the next one, like September, September and then twins and then when is the November, November, November?
I always wish I wish they did the majors like every other week for two months. Yeah, because I just get that there's something about watching major golf. It's just so much fun and it just it sets up the weekend. So it's such a great couch activity for an entire weekend. It's resulting in a lot more.
Threw off the nap schedule, though, like watching the PGA on a on a Sunday night, on a Saturday night. You're like, you know what I feel? I feel more tired than I usually do because I don't get my naps in the day.
It's true. Anything else before we get to who's back, we have we'll talk about the bubble and Dame Lillard after Stevo Oh NFL. Moort went viral because 69 players opted out. Yep he knew an you very nice. More and more I'd more. Probably sixty nine more. Definitely sixty nine. Yeah I've got to joke about that. I'm not going to make about more but it would have been fun just knowing that for the record that was big of you.
Yeah. Thank you. Anything else. Oh there is a brawl in baseball. That was pretty cool. Yeah. Well the dude charged the dugout. You don't see that very often by the way. I think that that's bullshit. If you call a guy and you say come over and the guy starts running at you to fight, you have to fight that guy. You can't rely on your sprong. You're spray young players to, like, catch the guy and intercept him on the way in and let them fight them.
You. You initiated the fight, you got to finish it. I agree, I totally agree. So I guess just like let's have an image fight. Who was it? Was the manager, right? Yeah. Of the Astros. Yes. Yeah.
Listen, it seems like the bench coach. Yeah. Oh, let that guy fight just and just be fine.
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Who's back? I have a few. The first one is Phil Collins, OK? Oh, yeah. His song In the Air tonight came out like God knows how many years ago there was a viral video of two kids, like reacting, listening to it from the first song that had like a shit ton of millions of views and now in the air. And it is trending on the iTunes chart because it's like the top five.
It's a jam jam. And when you watch people watching or listening to that song for the first time, you still get the goosebumps when the drums kick in and you see them freak out. It's like a joy that I have is watching somebody start to appreciate something that we already know about.
Yes. Yeah. Because you're like here comes here comes here comes kids who to be all right.
Yeah. My other who's back to work is Derrick Rose.
Yeah, I know he is. Rose Kanye West tweeted out today some shoes model of new shoes that are releasing all the DeRosa Yazeed roses.
And there's something they are something I don't know if it's like a shot at a rose, like what they are like, no, I don't need it is incomplete.
So there's just a bunch of nines and I don't think so.
I think I think you're talking to him. I think he's he just made a great shoe for DROs.
Oh, it looks like it looks like a fish in a cartoon after they eat it. Yeah. Know, I'm saying like all the ribs checking out. Yes. Yeah. It's like a herringbone that's been tried by a cartoon cat. Yeah. And then throws and then throws the bones out. Yeah. I'm going to get them. How many are there for as well. Probably how much you think they're going to be. Probably like 300 bucks. It looks like if somebody took a No.
One, that's I mean it looks like somebody no price that I wouldn't pay for.
It turned a sperm into a Nike swoosh logo. Oh. Speaking of which did you guys see Joel Embiid choose the Kairys. Oh my God the I listen I wear Under Armour shirts and stuff but those shoes what is Under Armour doing with their shoes. Who's making Under Armour shoes.
They're just Kairys but they're also just the colorway. I don't know who's making the flamethrower.
It looks like somebody's ironed an emoji onto the side of it I think. But what Under Armour has been doing the last four years is they've just trying to been they've been trying to get the whole image of the chef Curry, the nurse. Yeah, everybody's head by designing uglier and uglier shoes. So we forget about that first.
I think the Under Armour shoe designer just goes to Walmart and sees, like all the, you know, the ten dollar shoes that you can buy at Walmart. The strawberries are there. Yeah, there's like a tab and he's like, oh, cool, I'm just going to model all my shoes off of this. Yeah, those were some some hankies at it. I'd one more EA Sports are back. OK. Oh, great. Why a recurring guest, Nick Marqusee, like won this one hundred thousand dollar tournament.
It was I mean I know sports it back and like the feeling of watching sports is back. But this this tournament was like basically the playoffs. Like I had that Game seven playoff field playoff feel.
It was electric. It was the first time that I was watching something where I was like, oh, this is this is really sports like this is legitimately.
Yeah, this is sports. At least one black one. The good thing the good thing is that we had Nick Marks on and he explained how his dad at first was hesitant but then became accepting. And we've just gone straight to accepting. Yeah. We love new life. Yes.
We love you, Hank. Right. Well, we'll support you love his love.
I mean, I think about it's not it's not your brain. No, it's just a who's back. I just wanted I just want you to be happy. Yeah. Whatever. Hard life, whatever. You get that. Sure. You happy in life. That's what makes me right. Doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to be there watching you. I don't want to like, watch you play.
I don't want to watch. I wanted that image in my head. Right. I don't want to think about you just night and day, just grabbing joysticks and starting to play anymore.
Oh, you know. So you retired. Yeah. You're officially retired, focused on your dimes, play bar stool, stool streams, cod and Teeny-Weeny, Norman Stool's Streams, PMT Teeny-Weeny. Oh, we're.
No we're not. Yes, we're not. Yeah, no. Yeah. We're like seven. No, the pie chart of my brain is like fifty percent empty and the rest of us, we're in there as long as it can fit into one of his other interests.
Whereas I can maybe part of my take two stools maybe.
Do guys want to work on know. Yeah. Yeah that's a that's a dream. That's a dream. That's a pipe dream.
Is that it. I think that's it.
OK, my whose back of the week is having to figure out your fantasy draft position for fantasy football because that is happening. Fantasy football drafts are probably going down in the next two to three weeks, I would imagine. So I'm starting to get those starting to get people here and there being like, hey, select my fantasy draft order, that sort of thing. So do you just want to, like, figure out a formula for it?
I do that. I've yeah. People have been tweeting me for like, oh, you're sending it to me like every I've been I was doing August all last year. I was actually replying to people, tell them to come to me. And then I was told to go, OK, how about this?
How about we could just come up with a formula for it? No, no. Just tell just for them to me and I'll for them to Jilly.
OK, so that's sweet of these big cat and then he'll send it you know.
I did, I did a bunch of those last year and it was a big mistake because then everyone asked for it is like I don't, I can't do this forever but I'll do a couple.
Well then you can just say Madden codes. Yeah. And then get that. I'll do a couple. I'll do a couple but I'll send most of Jilly football. She's still out there. She's still doing her thing. My other who's back of the week is Thailand. Thailand's back. So Hank Hank has accurately predicted pronunciations for Donald Trump on several occasions. So in the span of one week we had Thailand, which Hank, you said back in what, 2017?
Who knows? Twenty eighteen. And then you had the other one. Yoshimi Yup. Which Hank put on his list of unacceptable political names.
See, that was even a that was just that was a name that I liked.
Yeah. Right. And so he said Yosemite. And then somebody tweeted Big Cat. I hope he doesn't talk about women's health because you go OBGYN on it. So I don't know, maybe you could be president.
You could be president. Congratulations, Brain. What if he says superlatives?
You know, there'll be some talk about a vodka.
And Gerard, I might never say superlatives again. It's tuberose, obviously. I think superlatives is an upgrade. Superlative. Yes. Yes.
To anything. Yeah. We should actually do. Can we I think you can petition Merriam Webster for new words. Didn't they make it like isn't slang becoming part of. So we should just make superlative a real word now like you, regardless if you say it enough it becomes of super old.
Yeah. Yeah. Reoccurring. Yeah. All right. My whose back is the man. The myth. The legend, Mike Francesa, who is retired. I think I don't even know if he's retired or not. I think he just talks to no microphone for twenty minutes every day. And does he have an app like for people listen to it and then what's his name. What's the guy's name, the clips, all his stuff. Oh fun funhouse clips and puts it out and then we all laugh and it's great fun.
How should just pay Mike Francesa to do a show for him. I don't want anyone else ever to go anywhere. I want him to keep finding ways to just clip Mike Francesa, like going to the refrigerator in the morning and farting.
So he gave like another eulogy, give a great eulogy for Horace Clark, who was a member of the New York Yankees. He said Horace Clark was a symbol. The Yankees fall from grace post nineteen sixty four. He was mediocre, just like the bomber, 65 to 74. Rest in peace.
Rest in peace at the end is superb.
I like how he didn't even include the fact that he passed away, because most people that are reading this probably didn't know that this guy from the 1964 Yankees died. Yes. But then dropping the RPG at the end, it's like a dropping the hashtag truth at the end of it. Right.
I never had any thoughts about Horace Clark, but now I know he was mediocre. Well, I know that he was symbolic most of all of the mediocre Yankees in those years went down to mediocrity. All right, Billy, what's your who's back?
My who's back of the week is fear. The murder hornets are actually a problem. You really have run out of things to talk. No, they're there in England now, OK? They're there to just skip the United States.
They're in England. They've spread. I'm actually scared. How many murders have they committed? They've committed zero murders.
Oh, wow. It sounds pretty scary, actually murdering other pollinators in the area, such as honey flowers, flowers.
So, yeah, but I thought they were going to invade the United States. Well, they're currently still invading us, but we have guns in the United States.
Murder her and it's like, fuck that, let's go. Well, yeah, yeah. Strength and no college football. So we've got a lot of time on it. Oh, you know, be sick.
What about demolition? Derby is where the South just started doing demolition derby again on Saturdays.
I've been in a demolition to do the best. I fucked up my ribs real bad. Jeez, I got smashed right away. It was fun though. So hornets back. Yeah. Fear fires back. Just does it.
You had you had five days to come up with a topic we already talked about.
You talk about them going to England and then two months ago they didn't murder anyone, though. They're like, call me when they murder someone. Yeah. Who's scared of someone that doesn't murder. Right.
Not me. He'd be like, I'll check out the serial killer. How many people have you killed? Zero. But he wants but he wants to kill. Thinking about it was too much of a bitch to actually do it.
Yeah, they're just hornets. They actually that's the problem. They're hornets. You don't get to be called murder hornets until you murder someone.
Wait, how do hornets fly all the way? You know, they haven't murdered people who they've they've killed fifty people.
You just came up with that on top of your head.
I think they they killed like ten a year in Japan.
But those these people forgot they're up to the verdict. Hornets, they get stung. Oh, that's natural selection. That's like being like, oh yeah.
There's this new thing out there. Murder, peanut butter. It kills twenty people a year with peanut butter allergies. What about these murder cars? Yeah.
Murder, Jeffie, don't go near it.
What about murder or electricity or murder. Water. Have you heard about murder waterlily.
Everyone who drinks it dies. Yeah. Everyone who drinks water dies. If you try to win a Wii game system from a radio show, it usually kills you if you drink too much of it.
Hmm. OK, that's a good one. All right, let's get to our interview. Awesome interview coming up. Stevo, we're so excited for this one. I don't think I've ever lost as hard as I have in this interview coming up before we do that woop, you know everything about how your favorite team is dealing with the pandemic, but do you know enough about you whoopers of 24/7 health and fitness tracker that changes that by monitoring critical daily metrics like sleep recovery and strain?
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OK, here he is Stephen. Oh ok.
We now welcome on very special guest. You know him very well. It is Stevo of Jackass fame and many other things. He's got a new comedy special out on his website called Gnarly Stevo Dotcom. Go to it right now. It's comedy, stand up comedy. It's clips, it's special appearances from some of the Jackass crew. He's also got a podcast called Steve Goes Wild Ride. Stevo, thank you very much for joining us. We are big, big fans are.
I guess is kind of a heavy first question, but I I actually am very curious what your response would be. Huge fans of Jackass, we're in the perfect age demographic. We're both thirty five years old. So it was like hit at the right spot. What to you, what is the genius of Jackass?
Because I truly do think it's a genius. It was a genius thing. And you guys are all comedic geniuses and people maybe pooh pooh it and say, no, they're idiots. No, they're comedic geniuses. So why like, what's the genius behind it?
All right. Well, thank you, number one. And I think that's very kind. I appreciate the kind words I remember, too. I don't think it's really a heavy question. I think it's really fascinating because there was some kind of a cultural significance to Jackass. I think that's safe to say. And what made it popular, I would believe, is that the misfortune of women, I think that there's something compelling about slowing down to Google as an accident.
I think that saying something terrible happened. Is that inherently compelling? I think that there's something endearing about Jackass, where we were able to always been able to not look cool, to not take ourselves seriously. And I think there's something endearing about that. And there's also finally something I believe actually pretty wholesome about the fact that there's nothing mean spirited in what we're doing. And ah, yeah, we're reckless where we do terrible things to ourselves and to each other, but we're never cruel to to third parties or to anybody else.
So, you know, it's weird to say Jaggers is wholesome, but I think it does apply and has that program, you know, makes a lot of sense.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I've always said that with Jackass. It's one of those things that you could take. It's like a great unifier. You could take the first Jackass movie, for example, played for some teenagers in the suburbs. You could play it for a tribe that hasn't even been discovered yet in South America. You could play it for probably even ISIS overseas and everybody that would watch it would laugh. It is like the perfect comedy that I think is really universal.
So I guess my question for you is, who is a who's like the weirdest person or the most unexpected person or group of people that have told you, like, I love Jackass I.
I mean, it wasn't somebody who said that they loved it, but I remember being really caught off guard one night at a restaurant in New York City and somebody said sheepishly, hey, excuse me, I'm really sorry to bother you, but would you mind saying hi to my niece or my granddaughter or something like that? And it was Robin Williams. Oh, I remember. Yeah, I remember thinking, wow, Robin Williams. He was just so polite.
And really I got a little bit timid even as far as people who were like unlikely fans. I mean, I just am always shocked. I feel like the guy from Dazed and Confused, Matthew McConaughey, his character, where he says, I get older and they just stay the same age because it's shocking how, like all these years later, we're decades into it now. And like little kids that are interested, like it's like, how is a little kid, like a fan of Jackass, you know?
And then even like on the older side, like when I was doing my tour. Yeah. Like in the audience. And to see, like, legitimately old people, it always makes me really happy.
Yeah. What about your parents? Did like the cast members, did their parents ever, like, say, hey, we're fans of this? Because I got to imagine that, like looking at your child doing that, it might hit a little bit differently as opposed to watching somebody else's could do it.
I don't know that anybody in my family has ever been particularly a fan of it. I think they recognize the appeal, but it's just not their kind of thing. I know Bam's family, his parents have been really intimately involved in it, you know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that I think that the closer you get to it, the less I understand you are, you know, particularly if you really like it. If it's a family member, someone you love, like doing the stuff, I think you would have a mixed mixed bag of feelings about it.
So I liked your answer about why jackass genius. But I feel like you might have missed something that at least I you know, when I watch it. I see. And you could tell me I'm way wrong. But I think it is also just friendship like you guys always came across as, yeah, you'd fight or there'd be fucked up things you do to each other, but you'd always make each other laugh. And when you make each other laugh, it like kind of fills the room of like, oh my God, they're having a great time.
And you could tell me I'm way off. But did I did it feel like that?
That's absolutely a component to it. And I think that I would love that in with the what makes it a little bit of an unlikely wholesome thing that there were not mean spirited, that we evidently really care about each other. And we've got this great chemistry where, you know, there's there's just some kind of like there's something magical about it.
Right. Right. Yeah. Go ahead. Sorry. Sorry. No, that's my bad. That's my bad.
And I'm the worst when it comes to that. I'm the worst. Well, I was going to give an example. It's like so, you know, the the when you boil down like, you know, guys being friends and male friendship and it's like, yeah, you care about each other. But also if one of your friends, you know, bam, is definitely afraid of snakes, you're going to fuck him up and lock them into a horse trailer and throw fake snakes at him.
Like that's that's kind of where it always felt so funny and so relatable. You know, I'm never throwing snakes operations, but that feeling of like we can be friends. But I also can bust your balls and, like, go at you every now and then at the end of the day, we're still friends.
For sure, yeah, it's that busting balls is really what it is. There's a certain type of you know, there's a certain type of, I suppose, razzing or whatever that you would only do to someone you really care about.
So off that, though, what was there ever a time where one of the guys took it too far or it was like true anger that lasted a few days and it was like, oh, shit. Like we went too far on this one.
I yeah. Where man broke my nose. OK, that was, that's, that fucking drove me nuts. I was so pissed and the footage and everything was even included in the movie. Thank God. I thank God I put it in my gnarly comedy special, you know, fucking terrible, terrible thing that I'm put together. Yeah. It was bam doing his throw water in your face and then super slo mo sucker punch.
You know, he just he just called the Rocky and they would play it like the Rocky theme music. And he just there's supposed to be no drinking on the set.
You know, this is like out of out of respect for my sobriety while we some jackass 3D. I was newly sober and they had a strict no drinking policy, but bams went got drunk and completely hammered on the set and and came up and threw the water in my face and that sucker punched me but he just completely fucking broke my nose.
The worst thing about it was it wasn't even in front of the fucking slowmotion camera, you know, drunk, drunk as shit had fucking broke my nose in the wrong place. I'm all about get put it.
But yes, you know, I mean, it was it was captured on film, but it wasn't captured on that fantastic fantham slow motion camera side. As part of this gnarly special, I went to all kinds of crazy stuff to load into it so that it would play largely like a Jackass movie. I exacted my revenge on Ben by throwing the water in his face. And I got I was mortified to learn what a pussy I am when it comes to punching people, that's all.
So so with your to stand up that you just mentioned, what are you, ten years sober right now?
Well, what Congress has twelve years in March. Thank you. That's awesome. So I have to imagine that that was a pretty big transition for you going from filming Jackass, the way that used to be filmed, where I'm sure there were, you know, drugs and alcohol on set everywhere to now. There's been absolutely none for you for the last like twelve years. What was the most difficult part of making that adjustment? And do you think that you've learned anything over the last twelve years?
There's actually improved your comedy since then. Man, the the transition I mean, when you get sober inside, you only change one thing and that's everything. It's just like it's really you know, I was in psychiatric wards and rehab centers for the first six months, and then I was in a halfway house, you know, until I had two years of sobriety. So I was just institutionalized for two entire years. And I was still in the halfway house when we were filming Jackass 3D.
I had a roommate I shared my room with. We had to do our chores, scrubbing the toilets and this and that. And I would have to, like, get a special pass filled out, like, hey, I'm going to be late for curfew tonight because I have to go and get catapulted into the sky and a porta potty full of shit. That was like actual conversations that went on with my house manager and my halfway house. And so, yeah, it was a big transition.
And ultimately, like when it comes to approaching, like, gnarly or dangerous, painful stunts.
I just learned that you take away the drugs and alcohol from the wasted attention whore and then you get sober attention or really that's all there is to it.
I never got I never took painkillers for pain and I never did stunts because I was loaded. I just I'm just an or so, you know, I didn't really it didn't really change my approach to what I do for entertainment.
Interesting. I was reading a little bit about your childhood and whatever is on Wikipedia is what I absorbed. So there's probably a bunch of stuff that's incorrect on there. But it did say that you moved around a lot as a kid. Like a ton. Yeah, not just like different cities, but like different states, different countries. It was like almost once a year, once every other year. Is that how you kind of developed a sense of humor to fit in with new places that you were just moving in to for the first time?
I would like to say that that's true. I. I was born in England, spoke my first words in Brazil, speaking Portuguese in Brazil. I spoke fluent Spanish in nursery school in Venezuela, kindergarten I did in Connecticut, and then I moved back to England and to Canada. I grew up in five different countries and I was always, we're going to move again and. I remember always every time I found out we were going to move, I was just stunned because I was such like a fucking bouncing off the walls, just like super annoying, like uncomfortable like that.
Like I didn't win anybody over, you know, and I was always, like, stoked to move again because I thought, cool, I'm going to get a new shot, you know, a clean slate. And this time I'm going to be cool. And then every time you go there I was and I did it all over again. So I don't know that I've learned anything from from moving around ultimately later in life, that whole nature about me, it would end up kind of working out.
But it did not work for me when I was a child. I didn't at all.
When you were a kid, did you have you always know you had like a high threshold for pain and doing dumb stuff? Like, were you just not, you know, from like a very early age? You had no fear because a lot of the stuff you've done, it's like, how the fuck is he doing this?
Yeah, I don't even know that I have that much of a high threshold for pain. I'm like, yeah, you do you do.
I develop I've developed an ability to just take it on, you know, but I feel everything and I can and that that I'm fearless. I'm just that much of an attention, you know, it's just that simple. Like and when I think of the pain involved in the step that I do like what where the pain I really couldn't withstand would be like the nine to five job, you know.
All right. That's what you're going to go on go on going to work to do something that I'm not psyched about like that. That's some pain that I can't fuck with. Yeah.
So who who in the crew. I think I know the answer. Who in the crew does have the highest threshold for pain? I saw Knox do something that would have been then that really changed my view. I was like, wow, I recently saw Knox do something that indicated to me that he actually registers pain differently than some of the other ones at time.
And to go with Knox based on that, he he does something that is so funny in you never see it anywhere. But when he's doing something super painful, he starts to laugh beforehand. And you're like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Like he's about to be smoked in the nuts and or like tackled one hundred miles an hour by three football players. And he's giggling to himself beforehand, right? Yes.
I mean, he's he's gnarliest, you know, like I've heard people say that I'd take on the, you know, the worst of the challenges in this and that. But, like, I don't see it that way. I think that Knoxville and the stance that he does, I mean, are just so messed up, particularly because a lot of us grew up on skateboards, you know, like we actually spent our formative years, like, learning how to fall.
Yeah. And Knoxville doesn't have any of that benefit of your experience with falling and coordination, you know, working on it. Like when when Knoxville gets on a skateboard boom. He admits he really doesn't know how to fall. So when he does, it's catastrophic.
Yeah, I think one of the things I like the most about when I think you in particular are awesome about this, but when you're about to do something that you should be afraid of, we can see your fear. You're not trying to play cool and be like, I'm brave, I can do this. You step up to the sun. You're like, oh, fuck, this is stupid, dude, what am I doing? What am I doing?
But you do it anyways. Yeah, you're still there. You're still there. You still end up like locking that part out. And you're like, I have this fear, but that's fine. I'm going to do it, even though I'm afraid. Has there ever been like a stunt that you approach, that you're all set up ready to film and you're like, this is fucked, this is fucked. And you back out of at the last second there is one.
And when we were in India, I was supposed to ride a unicycle along like like a balance beam style plank and it was over a bed of hot coals.
So like I would and I broke my heart, man, because there was like in setting up this whole bed of hot coals, there was like a lot of, like work there, went into it, you know, building the beam and the whole setup of this thing. And then when I got on the beam, there was just some kind of mental block where I could get both feet on the pedals. I just, like, completely shut down and totally wimped out.
And it wasn't because I was afraid of landing on the hot coals. It was just I was afraid to commit to that unicycle on the beam. So, yeah, that one didn't happen. It absolutely crushed my spirit that I went out. And then, you know, years later we did the fire gauntlet as a redemption for that. And it what it would have been way cooler in India with actual hot coals on the unicycle then the way the fire is played.
How how did you guys decide who did what stunt? And was it just whoever thought of it or was like, no, this person would be perfect for this. And is there like a pecking order or competition for it?
Well, it depends. Like, first and foremost, I would say that there is a respect for intellectual property. Like whoever comes up with an idea is kind of like essentially own that idea, you know? So if you see somebody doing and if you see somebody doing a stunt, you can presume that either they came up with the idea or they were granted permission to carry out the idea by the person who did come up with it. And so you've got dibs on anything if it's your idea now, of course, a lot of the time it makes sense.
This would be great for this guy to do it. So there are ideas getting written for certain people. And then there's a whole other category of idea, which is like the undeniably funny thing that absolutely nobody wants to do. And those ideas, you know, everybody gets approached and then assuming it everybody turns it down, it trickles down to danger.
And yes. Yes. And he always loses a tooth or something.
Pretty much. Yeah, yeah. Pretty much that that sort of like how how that goes. He he's underrated.
Yeah. Because just seeing his face whenever he's like fuck do I don't want to do this. It's like that's a. What do you know that that's exactly how it happened, like it actually was passed by everyone, so when he's saying, fuck, why am I doing this? I don't want to do this, it's as genuine as it could be.
Yeah, I give you guys a crazy jackass secret, which which makes no sense because I'm actually going to make a video about it.
But the. The jet that the Lambo to pull, which was part of Jackass 3D, it made no fucking sense to pull that tooth from danger and it was like for danger and it was totally healthy to make no fucking sense to do that. Plus, when they pulled out that two on danger, Erin, because it was a healthy to share, they loosened it up a bit. But infractions like in school where, you know, like the little sucking, you know, whatever the tooth fits in, like that shit broke up to his nose.
And the thing about it was. And there was a redo because back on the previous movie, Don Vito BAMS, Uncle Don Vito had his teeth fucking fallen out like crazy. I think he was down to like one to the left and that one remaining two was begging to fall out like and what Bam! Said to Don Vito was, let me tie that one fucking tears to my Lamborghini and film it for the movie. And if you let me do that, then I'll I'll pay for you to get like proper dentures.
Don Vito leapt at the opportunity and then he did it and it was classic. But then Don Vito got tangled up in some something like lewd shit with with minors, you know, like he was that became a sex offender. Yeah. And when Don, I became a sex offender, they scrubbed him out of out of jackass number two. So they had to scrap that bit. But the thing was, the director was so in love with it that I couldn't let it go.
And so it was it was completely appropriate to do that with Don Vito, the director. It broke my heart to see that go. It was so important to him to to let that finally see the light of day, that idea. And that was one where, hey, you want to do this to trickle down to danger, Aaron. And they did it with a too.
So Jeff seems like he gets he gets away pretty easy with a lot of the stuff because he's around. He gets to witness a lot of it. And you guys obviously prank him a little bit behind the scenes, but he never actually has to do any of the things that he sets up and directs. Have you guys thought about including him and be like, hey, if you're going to make so much money filming us, maybe we get you a couple of times?
Yeah. I mean, there's nobody safe on the set, man. I mean, nobody's ever going to be safe on the set. And as far as, like, really elaborate, you know, big things at Jeff's expense.
Know. I don't know, man, I think. I think Jeb is not necessarily quite the type of attention whore. I mean, it is just a big battle screen time, you know, and so part of me thinks like, why would we do that, Jeb? You know, like, we want the screen time for ourselves. I don't know. And what I want to know how one one stunt, one of my favorite, it's very underrated, not like one of your most remarkable stunts, but every time I watch it, I die.
Die laughing is snifters.
No, no. I'll hear. You want to guess. It's not it's not a pain stunt. Out of parents don't know the goldfish, no, it's it's fart mask when Prestons, when pressed and pooped into the fucking beer bong, trying to plant so bad and you started puking in the in the mask while you guys are really like you guys are really committing to this.
I mean, we are so alienating anybody. I don't care if you guys. I don't care. I was looking at I was looking through my tweets for this and I found a tweet from like from three years ago. And I remember I was high with all my friends and it just says I watched Jackass two last night and I miss those guys so much. So, like, I'll keep doing that every year. We're all just watch Jackass and be like, fuck, I love these guys.
Well, dude, I'm so thrilled that I got the fucking whole jackass gang together for this gnarly thing. I don't know if you guys are like even in the trailer, but did the whole fucking dang Knoxville band, Pontiac's Dave England Danger and everybody, and they duct taped me to the side of a fucking billboard truck and and then drive the fucking thing down the highway with me, duct tape inside of it. And that's that's how I get to the theater in the opening sequence of this multimedia comedy special.
And so, yeah, it's pretty, it's a point of pride and and honor for me that that I got the whole fucking gang together. I'm so grateful to those guys. Yeah, there is shit from this jackass dudes and it is at Stieber Dotcom. So with that said. Yeah. The fart mask thing. Yeah. For anybody who's not familiar, the idea was to like set up like what was connected to seems like a three hundred and fifty pounds fat guy.
Yeah. It's like a tube connected to his asshole.
It was a beer bong, it was a beer bong bong. Basically going to be scuba diving mask's. That's like you can fly all the way around. It's like glass. Right.
And you know, it was always I got it. It was always like a payoff for a bit and it made me barf. Yes. And the thing is that, like, there's no way that I actually could have smelled a fart that came through that whole tube but just set up preparing to do it. Like the idea of it. You know, I have this like super like powerful imagination, which is why I think over the years I was always such an embarrassing, premature ejaculation guy.
You know, I like totally premature ejaculator my whole life because, like, the idea of something being fucking sexy would just make me come much the way the idea the idea of something being gross would just make me ba you know, I really I think there's a link between this and that. And so just yeah. I mean I've got this big mask on and press and basically just puts the beer bar up to his butt and I'm like the idea of it and I'm already laughing.
He did end up taking a shit out of that beer bottle. Yeah.
Because he tried to fight so hard to shit into the beer, but it's so good.
You know, I just just I remembered is that we had to film that twice on that twice because the first time they set it all up, I fucking barfed before he got his pants down.
I feel like they're like, they're like they're so mad. Like fucking Steve. Are you fucking you know, I've ruined I've ruined it because we didn't even get to start the bidding. I already sakagami. So so we did, we did it like another day. We redid it.
That's all good. I always used to love when Manny would come out, when many would be included in the script and many, many, many just recovered some covid.
Oh shit. I got it bad man. He's, he was talking about it like it was like so dehydrated, like it brought on kidney stones I think you said and like dude he was just not OK. But thankfully he's he's bounced back.
That's awesome. So awesome man. If you don't know. Was there wildlife guy. He was like your nature expert. He wore the shark tooth necklace. Did he actually is he actually a wildlife expert or is he because like because he would come on set and and he'd be like, yeah, just go swimming in the bottom of this lake and grab an alligator by its face. And that's fine. And I never knew if he actually had a background with animals or if he was just there to, like, serve as the nature guide.
He's he's like, I like a real life Tarzan, you know, like I'm just like like Tarzan never had a degree, but he was Tarzan like like, man, he really is Tarzan, I would say. I mean, I don't think many ever went to school at all. Like when the story was that I think in Cuba, I believe it was from Cuba and he'd show up in school and just ditch and he would like go out and get into the swamp to survive, you know, for like days on end, like when he was a school kid and that was just his dog, like growing up, like it's like just fascinated with the apex predators and wanting to, like, get intimate with them.
Yeah, he's a man. So are you guys. I always said to you, I said that if Manny says something like God, like don't do something that means don't do it. You do that. Manny says something is totally OK. Just not talk. I mean, it's OK.
He's to like when I did the alligator tightrope and I just included this in a YouTube video, I in the story about this in a recent video, like Manny's advice for me going into the alligator tightrope, he says it's an alligator, gets a hold of Stevo. Stiva will relax and hopefully the alligator will release you.
Don't go to the movies just like the best thing that's ever been said. You know, to relax, you will let the alligator take him and hopefully the alligator will release.
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When you try to translate all the stuff that you know in Jackass, you did most of it outdoors or at least in a place that had, you know, like a lot of room around you to work with and a lot of interactive stuff going on. You're trying to do it on stage. How do you have to kind of like narrow that the idea of the joke down enough for it to be funny for somebody that's sitting like in the back row as opposed to somebody that's in the front row?
Oh, I mean, I don't know it. There's plenty of stuff that we did on Jackass that that didn't require a great deal of space, and when it comes to like really doing like heavy stunts on stage, that's not like what I do routinely on my whole tour. You know, I like when it's time to do it. Like I had all the jackass guys come to the taping of the nightly specials so they would come out on stage and do some fucking massive stunt, which was like walked out and shot the special thing, the way that everybody is able to see who is in attendance.
But, yeah, for for that purpose, we were filming like a show, essentially. But like when Jackass first came out, there was a. Like the director, Jeff Tremaine, like he let me know that the pilot got ordered to series. He said it's not a pilot anymore. We got like eight episodes. And so I need you to take all of your video and send it in so that we can license it and put it right onto the show.
And I sent in all the shit that I had. And then I follow up and I was like, yeah, well, like, what are you using? And he was like, man, like not one. I can clip you. Samin is allowed on TV because MTV is really touchy about fire. My role was always like, no matter what you do, it's cooler if you're on fire. So I was always on fire. So that rolled out a ton of food.
And another rule and another for that was that was that if you're going to jump off something, you know, it can't be above a certain height. And I mean, I was like constantly jumping on shit that was way too tall while I was on fire.
As long as I can speak and fire like the grand finale of the gnarly special, I got burned so fucking bad I had to have skin grafts on 15 percent of my body. Oh, my. It's the worst fucking injury, the most painful situation I have ever been in my life. And thank God it's finally out to see yet again. Check that out. But so so when when Jeff Tremaine told me that nothing was allowed on TV, I was legitimately worried.
Like, what kind of fucking pussy ass show is this? You know, I got actually concerned that it was going to be like so watered down that it wasn't like that. It wasn't intense. And of course, we figured our way around all their rules. But out of the gate, I knew that I had like a wealth of footage that I could distribute on my own at that time. Every night on TV, it was like Girls Gone Wild, like caught on tape.
There were these like, you know, too hot for TV videos. And I was like, man, I'm going to make my own too hot for TV videos, which I totally did. And I also, like, put together a whole fucking tour where essentially I would come out on stage, get all fucked up and and walk everybody through why you're not allowed to do on TV, you know, and that was the whole show. And whenever I promoted it, I promise I said I will be drunk and on drugs or your money back, which I was so proud of.
And so, yeah, that was like kind of the deal. And I like it was those days were something else, man, that was did something I was about as far as to answer the question, what's it like during the shit on stage and stopped us. Man Yeah. That stage was covered in blood bath piss fucking every night man.
We had the time we would be doing the show at universities where we would be like wiping out their student council a lot of entertainment funds by pissing and bleeding and barfing all over the stage and then just talking to as many students as possible.
This is this has been awesome. Steve, I had one last question. It's the me ondes soft question of the day, your podcast. So you you know about this stuff?
Yeah, I, I haven't I haven't done Mandi's yet. I don't know why, but but yeah. Dude I love it and I love being on the podcast bandwagon. I also saw you guys on TMZ and I. Yeah it's fuckin congrats man. It's crazy. I don't even really remember that they cut, they cut out too much because we started giving Harvey shit. We started quoting how many money he was worth and being like, hey, what do you want?
We're like, dude, it looks like you're worth twenty million dollars on Google here. Like how much are you going to give for the kids.
Yeah, I don't know if that's it or not, but you got that sounds, that sounds to me a little light, a little light. But he was like what the hell that sounds.
That sounds considerably like for Harvey Levin. Yeah.
And then we just started shaming him. We're like, all right. So going to put you down for zero dollars for the kids. So, like, do you want to tell the kids you want to go to the hospital and tell the kids you're not going to be giving money? They cut back.
But to his credit, he donated. Yes. Yeah. He didn't tell anybody that. Yes. But I mean, trust me.
Trust me. You don't want to, like, feud with TMZ.
No. You know, he was very nice. He hit us up right after and he was like, tell me where to donate. I will donate. So I said, I don't love it, but I love it.
And the last time I saw him, I was like he complimented me on I said, man, you look great, doing so much better than Bam. I read something like that, but, yeah, I've always had I've always had a pretty good relationship with TMZ. Yeah, and that's where I get my news, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It's like anybody fuck anybody who says that TMZ is like tabloid trash because they're in their journalistic integrity is so solid.
Yeah. That, you know, they don't get anything wrong.
Yeah. No it's true. They don't. And Harvey did it. He donated after the fact and didn't make a big deal of it, which I love it even more. So why me on this question. Go to me on dot com slash PMG to get 15 percent off your first purchase. Mandi's dot com slash to you to get 15 percent off your first purchase jackass for is it happening? Is it fully happening? Have you guys already filmed a bunch of stuff?
We were one week into production where when she got shut down. But that's actually a good thing because that week was so fucking explosive that we went from like the like, should these guys really be doing this novice's kind of his take at this point? They're like some of them are empty now, right? Like in that one week we proved ourselves like I mean, it was like there was the second heaviest week and we got like this footage where, like, Paramount sees it, like they're behind it, like we're like they're everywhere in the world.
Start spending again. We're as big a priority for Paramount Pictures as as there is, from what I gather.
Hell, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. This and that. OK, that puts a smile on my face knowing that it's still going to happen. It's even better.
But it's I got this fucking poster on this fucking kick in the balls during that one week while on the set my agent calls me up and and he's like, hey look man, I just kind of let you know that you're selling out like you're on your comedy club gigs, you know, so far in advance. Now, it no longer makes sense to me to entertain any comedy club offers. So congratulations. You have officially graduated to theaters.
Well, whoa. You know, and I'm like I'm like Brad fucking fucking an international theater tour.
Like not. And then everything stopped.
Everything everything stopped.
Then I started the podcast and I set up distribution for this gnarly comedy special dude. I mean, I'll give you a spoiler from my comedy special, The Gnarly Thing. Like, it's not just stand up comedy. Like I did all kinds of new stunts. And one of them not only did I swallow an entire load of Christianity come, but I did it. I did it right in front of my father.
Well, you you just, like, took a shot to the mouth or what?
I it just I mean, he he he blasted a huge load into a condom and he jacked up and then he tied in a knot. I brought it out, he handed it to me in front of my dad.
This is yeah. This is my dad. Wear it. Go ahead. Sorry. Sorry. Go ahead.
Say my my my dad. My dad's notoriously not cool with the like the game. I remember my dad, my dad was my. Why is this the right thing to do. Yeah. Yeah. And I said oh I said Dad I'm not doing this to hurt you. He says, I'm going to hurt me. You're going to piss me off.
It's funny that we talked about like what your parents reaction to all this stuff and everyone's parents reaction and showing how different of a world it is that you eight, Chris Polynices, come in front of your dad. And it was like, yeah, that's what I did. And when you say that line, I think all of us in this room are thinking, our dads listen to this show and they're going to be like, what the fuck was that interview?
And we didn't need any we need any car. Right, right. Right.
I mean, that's where the bar is at, the way I look at it. And I was just really pleased to have, like, especially and raised it. And thank you guys for letting me get so many shameless plugs in there and let everybody know that it's live right now on steam dot dotcom. And I invested more money.
I spent like three hundred grand making that thing to watch. I need I need people to go order it.
You come for it. You it could actually be just like that. Should be the line when you go to see Bo Dotcom like I come to make this fucking walk, I'm for it and I and I went on a burn unit tour.
Yeah. We do owe it to you to watch, to see the amount of punishment that your scrotum has taken over the year alone I think should be worth everybody going out there to watch it.
Do you think can you have kids.
Yeah, I got. A vasectomy like I have is one of my ideas I was sitting on for the longest time the Discectomy Olympics, is that that's separate from when you staple you're not sick to your leg.
Yeah, right. Yeah, that's a new one. That's that's in the can do. I'll give you guys another. I'm giving up, giving shit up like I check out all the needle marks in my back. I'm a block in block, but I don't know if you can see like I had yeah, I had a spinal cavity injection.
I can see you. It's a drug called Chloro Procaine and totally illegally. This guy, I can and put the needle into like four inches into my spinal cavity, like it was so deep in there. He plunges it full of this drug, which renders my my whole lower half completely paralyzed. That's what I'm supposed to do. So he plunges and then he's like, all right, go. And I just take off sprinting. Right. And I'm like fucking sprinting laps back and forth until my bike and I can feel it.
And I'm just like stumbling and staggering, trying not to go down. And then I fucking collapsed and and not only was my lower half paralyzed, but I couldn't feel anything up to my neck. And I was like, yo, dude, I can't fucking breathe. I was like, I'm having a lot of trouble breathing. I thought I was fucking dying so bad I had it.
And then my and then my cruise starts fucking lighting up my legs with paintballs and stun guns on fire.
You said that yourself, right? And I mean, dude, fucking it was like I mean, people have been kind of played out over the years, but it's never been like so weirdly fascinating where there's just no reaction. Yeah. The biggest reaction there was and it was like just shooting a dead body, it literally looked like I was just shooting a dead body. And the only time I really, really reacted was when when they lifted up my legs because I couldn't tell they were fucking doing anything I said.
And I could see my feet up in the air and like it shocked the shit out of me to see my feet because I couldn't tell what was going on. And then all my all my wounds, my bullet holes, we smeared tattoo ink. So hopefully I got to like it was like a Takashi's six nine shoot out because you did, like, all rainbow colored fucking ink smeared on these point blank paintball wounds.
Oh, my God. Do so you say that you're like giving away spoilers. I actually think that people are going to want to watch it. You have to watch the beauty of it. Like you can spoil jackass. Well, it just makes you want to watch it even more than you did before. Sure.
The thing about that one is that we only filmed it this past weekend and that's going to be in the follow up to nearly perfect, which. But yeah, nahles loaded. There's plenty loaded in gnarly and not.
I'm not I will not waste anybody's time. Who goes to Stevo Dotcom to check it out. I mean God just look at the trailer like it's so went up. I love it.
What's, what's the insurance like on the set of Jackass. Will anybody actually like liability shit.
I don't know dude. I don't know. I remember it after we filmed Jackass three.
I was already sober and that was the first time we're going into it. I said, hey, what happens if somebody gets, like, really hurt or killed?
And I had never asked that before.
And and they said, oh, I.
Workman's comp laws. The Californian workman's comp laws apply.
It's good enough to get time off for the funeral. It gives say that is said. That sounded to me so funny.
And already I got some workman's comp going on for a jackass for that first week I got. So I got hospitalized like a motherfucker. And I can't give I can't give away what it was. But I broke my rules, you know, like I go into this the last one on this one. And I and my rule is I don't want to be fucking paralyzed. I don't want to be fucking killed. And I actually and I don't want any fucking brain trauma all that.
Why don't we get and I actually said to the camera going into this stunt, I was like, man, I have these rules. I get no spinal, no brain, no death. And we're not even run away again. And I, I picked the wrong week to fucking quit doing all that shit.
Charanam half an hour later, I fucking wake up on the stretcher in the ambulance.
Oh yeah. I'm excited. I woke, I woke up on the stretcher like about to be loaded into the ambulance and then I and then I went out again and I came to like, get out of the atan audience fucking that first week of filming was heavy and and was like, there's full confidence for me that that it's going to be a hit.
I love it. I'm excited. I can't wait to watch. Your special is absolutely awesome. Yes. Well, Steve, thank you so much. Go to. Dotcom, do it right now, go to Stevo Dotcom by the Natoli special, also listen to his podcast. This has been awesome. And next time in New York City, we'd love to have you come by our studio.
Yeah, I love it. Congratulations on the meteoric success of your podcast and thank you for being so kind to me. To alienate such a large portion of your audience doesn't know about things we know about or care about, Jackass. It's been a real honor. Thank you, guys. I appreciate it.
Thank you. Steve, thanks so much. Can I just say, hearing you say, dude, I think you have the best dude in the world. Oh, well, thanks, man.
Yeah, I did. Yeah.
All right, man, thanks so much for that interview.
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OK, let's get some segments finish up the show. We've got to talk about hockey. Hockey is back. Yeah. Congrats. You're buying your Blackhawks. It's always good to have playoff hockey. I know you could have gotten the first overall pick, but, you know, what would you rather have like a week and a half of a combination of misery and pain and maybe a couple of glimpses of awesomeness now? Or would you rather wait four years to maybe have a good player?
I would take the immediate gratification every single time.
I also have tricked myself because it is Taison Kane. I'm like, OK, well, they could just do it. Yeah, do it.
And I should have done retroactive. Who's back? Who's back is furiously Googling and checking on Twitter for the playoff schedule. I've been looking for it everywhere. Where is it? Give me the playoffs schedule. I need to plan the rest of my next two weeks around when the Blackhawks play. So give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me.
Also, the Washington Capitals defeated the Bruins in the first round of the playoffs that ensured seating.
So there's a play third. Yeah, they're third and seven plus seats. So the islanders, you have to play the islanders. We're going to Corelli's. Hank has to play against the hurricanes. But you're fine with that, right? Because remember that pick I had last year, they should have killed that paid when the Kings lost a Great Dane by that and have a rally pig. And then when they lose, be like, oh, yeah, now the rally pit gets to just live and you can't bring a pig back because.
Right. You bring that same pig back. Buzzer I'm going to be the first person to start like circling patches on. It's going to be like, that's a different pig. Kill the picture. Listen, that's just that's just how it works. Can't just be like we're going to ride the pigs momentum. We died. Pig gets live. All right. This league, we got a lot of this league, Damian Lillard versus the Clippers was an ultimate this league moment.
So Dame missed two free throws at the end of the game. Patrick Beverley was not playing and just clowning on before that happened.
Damian Lillard had a three. Yeah. Was like pointing at Pat Beverley being like I want you. Yes. Yes.
And so Pat Beverley was sitting out the game, they were just clowning on him. An empty GM just yelling at him. Afterwards they interviewed Damian Lillard and we're like How do you feel about it. And he's like It's a sign of respect. I've sent Pat Beverley home before. I've sent Paul George home before. That seems to be the end of it. No. Then Paul George then did took it to Instagram, which is like the full circle for this league.
I'm getting exhausted just explaining this. And Instagram is the new Temecula and was like, you guys are chasing me on these exams. Call them champs basically. Yeah. They got into going back and forth with each other. I would not fuck with Damian Lillard. Oh yeah. Like fucking with Pat Beverley on the court. That's like walking outside in a lightning storm with it with a nine on hand. He will fuck you up because that is what Pat Beverley is brought in to do is just fuck with people.
And then, and then Dame obviously said Paul George like you keep you know switching teams. You don't want the hard work, which if you're Damian Lewis, you get to say that argument because you are you have been in for the Trailblazers your entire life, you get to make that argument. You absolutely get to make that argument. Paul George worked his way out of OKC, worked his way out of Indiana. So I think that stands. But then Pat Brown, who was like Cancun on three.
Yeah, that always that kind of ended. But then Demonlover dropped another fifty piece. Yeah. Ifti Burger.
Fifty chicken nuggets and the Clippers are currently getting smoked by the nets, which they're probably not trying. Yeah. So you got to think damn well it's going to you know. Yeah. Sound off.
It's been funny watching you go back and forth the last couple of days between the Lakers and the Clippers, both trying to avoid the trailblazers in the first round because, yeah, they're the team that nobody wants to play out west.
Oh. And we officially have a play in game because the Grizzlies lost again. So at worst, the Grizzlies will be playing in a play at best. Appears you'll be playing in a play in game. At worst, they won't even be in the playing game, but that's going to be awesome. So August 15th is the first one. If the eighth seed wins the eight seeds in if the nine seed wins they play again, then you've got to you've got to win two to get in.
They should do it on aggregate. Yeah. It should be like a two game affair.
That's pretty awesome though. That'd be awesome. A one game elimination. And then we had Draymond get fined fifty thousand dollars for saying Devin Booker needs to get out of Phoenix on the set of TNT.
Yeah well so people are saying that there shouldn't be these tampering laws more like fifty thousand dollars. Draymond Green is absolutely nothing. It's actually probably worth it in terms of just like the message that he was sending to Booker at that point like fifty thousand dollars to tell Booker to leave Phoenix. Fuck.
Yeah I also I kind of love Draymond and Steph and Clay just being the ultimate like their, their cow, their coach Cal they're always recruiting. Yep. I kind of love that about that. Yeah. They're just always like we don't care. You guys have already said everything you're going to say about us. We're just going to keep recruiting talent. Yeah.
No Dave and the Warriors like given how they put their team together the last couple of years, like they are able to speak with authority, whether or not players should leave. Yeah. They're more comfortable treating them. Well, yeah. Come on over. Although the someone tweeted I think it was Devin Booker has won more games in the last week and a half than Draymond has won in twenty twenty. Yeah but Draymond gets to claim all the victories that he's had with Steph Curry.
Sure. Kevin Durant and all that he was Suns are hot.
Yeah Suns are hot. What else we have. Oh Billy. Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant. You got to see this. No. Oh man. All right, so some guy on Twitter his name is the creator out of nowhere just tweeted Why are you such a weirdo. Questionmark. You were too wealthy for this. You really went and followed my girl. That's why she blocked you. Oh, you're no.
This Kevin Durant. And then Kevin Durant replied and said, my bad. I actually pressed Paul on Lightoller picks my phone TripIt.
I love it. No matter how rich you are, how famous you are, you're still going to be you can still go to great response. You can. Yeah. You can't buy your way owning it up to it. And the guy, the guy attorney to get you out of horny jail. Everyone got you.
Just proven that everything I said was true. You really move like a ho and then coming around said you're just enjoying this experience. You won't forget about this day ever with a bunch of. Oh, that's OK.
And Evan Grant has won this one easily. It's true. He followed your girl. He liked all her pictures and now he's just dunking on you on Twitter. Now this guy's got a story to tell all his friends, like, hey, you know, who wants to fuck my girlfriend, right? Kevin Durant. Right. Until obviously his girlfriend breaks up with him.
He's like, oh, Kevin wants to fuck me. That's kind of cool.
What if he was really into it? That's the way to handle all this. Like if Katie starts liking all your girlfriends tweets. But yeah. Katie, let's do this.
Yeah, come fuck me. We can only get off to it. We can only hope he's like a huge LeBron fantasy. Yeah. This is just the final nail, like Kevin Durant going to the Warriors crushed.
Is that not would that not be tampering? What if what if you just Catfish Booker to get him to Golden State by creating a profile of a super maybe maybe a chick with a huge dumpers? That's why we have dumpers on Instagram. And then you follow Booker and you put your location in as. Yes. Oakland, California. Yeah. And then just start liking all his tweets. That's not tampering.
Reminder, Folbigg dumpers on Instagram. They underscore dumpers, the best dumpers on Instagram easily. I haven't seen better dumpers in that. No. All right. Let's finish up Billy's list.
But before we do that, Billy, we gave a cliffhanger. So you did list.
Did you listen? Yes.
He listens to them. All right. So the cliffhanger from Wednesday show that then went to Friday, show that and now is here on Monday.
Show Finish it man receives random seeds from China and has decided to plant them and see what happens.
This is illegal, but the man kept.
It was like it was like, what exactly have you written down? I know, but he you need to tell us what happened, what happens when you see OK, just so he planted the seeds.
Yeah. And puts Miracle Miracle-Gro on them and and a gourd pops out. Oh OK.
And well personally I think that the gourd was you know, maybe there is something mysterious with the gourd and it's going to try to harm American Gord's with some sort of disease or murder or murder.
Goys and guess what's a very American gourd pumpkin pumpkin. One orange pumpkin. China's going to cancel Halloween.
Exactly. Wow. And guess what? That's going to cause no pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. Oh, my God. Trickle down.
No pumpkin pie on Christmas. Christmas gets ruined because there's no good vibes from Thanksgiving.
You could also say, like, what if the Gord's just strangle out local vegetation? They take out Christmas trees? No.
The other cheeses, a variety of things. There's pine seeds, there's all sorts of seeds. So, yeah, maybe they're going after Christmas trees. Maybe they're going after pumpkins.
These are invasive species. These are murder. Gord's these are if you plant them, then it'll take it'll suck off the life from like the native species here in America.
I think whatever foreign entity is sending these seeds into seeds for and we already we they're from China.
You're working, but we're not going to blame Bay right now. Billy, Chinese Communist Party come over here anyway.
Billy's very sympathetic to President Xi.
I think whoever's doing this, they're very nice waging the war on Christmas. OK, so I like that.
I can can but also it's worth this. That was worth the cliffhanging is this payback for Tic-Tac like we're going to we're going to strangle our ticktock. So we're going to Sandvine over.
Well Bill Gates might get tock. That's true. Who would you trust with the information? Twitter might also get it too. Right.
So you have three ounces, Chinese government, Bill Gates, Earth, Earth police brain.
And who owns Twitter again? Jack at Jack. Which one of those guys you want having your Take Stock Information Week.
Say it again. Chinese government. Yeah. Bill Gates. Yeah, Jack.
Jack, I because I think Jack is too incompetent to accurately manage my sensitive information correctly named Bill Gates.
So didn't he create Bill Gates a while ago, created this thing where you could basically turn poop in the water? That's true. But so think about all the shitty tweets we have. Jack invented the like button.
Should you take toxic shit more? Should he take toxins? She tweets. Right. So what?
Can we harness that into Pumpkin's ton?
Boom, boom. Halloween's the world's problems. All right.
Anything else on this sheet? Let's see. We've got I had the can rent. Yeah, you did. You did a good job doing it. Whip snakes winning. Congrats. The Whip Snakes on back to back championship dynasty.
You said twelve and six of the twenty twenty champions and then you put water. Dogs have not but you didn't finish that sentence. Where are we going to say that about the water dogs.
That they didn't win the championship. What dogs are the best first half team in lacrosse.
That's just facts. Snake becomes spanger. What does that? I don't know.
There are snakes on a train that's classic. Have to put snakes sheet when you see that. What if it was pizza snake? We were all down. It was a rat snake. We're all hot dogs, snake.
I would that would break the Internet if if a snake ate a slice of pizza on a New York City subway platform and you could see the slice of pizza in his stomach, or if it was a sports feed, it would be back in business. I think I think right now these are more they're like more current. They're hard to show if if a snake was just like Deep Throat in Glasgow, like Heather Brooke, that be. Yeah. NASA to remove offensive names from planets and other heavenly bodies.
That's on here, too. Yeah. The Eskimo nebula is being nixed. And the Siami you know what I'm offended by what?
White dwarfs one. No reason in particular. Don't just think that's not the things out there.
We should not be calling things as a guy that is five eight and have been told by numerous Internet memes that the size of a grain of rice I don't want stars to be called white dude.
That's like one million dollars in the in the Rice thing with Jeff Bezos. So feel good about that.
That's true. Yeah.
Good to hear you're worth a million dollars. Anything else, Billy? Well, you know, it's the biggest unintended consequence of not having college football season. All the college football players, you can get fat belly football.
You've been leading the way. I know. Yeah. It's funny to do it in a PSA.
This is your this is your body on football. This is your body. Yeah. And it's you're the avatar.
It's like this is your podcast with football and it's a clip of us talking about football with No Billy. This is your podcast without football and it's Billy talking about murder and they talk about snakes and pumpkins.
There it is, folks. Scary, scary world out there. All right. Wednesday, we got Tim Woods back doing some Dungeons and Dragons. We'll see you then.
Love you guys. Billy, do you have any closing thoughts? Yes. So, oh, wait. We forgot to mention our darling Jake. Yes, Jake broke his ankle, Jake. Joined the the Foot Injury Survivors Club, a part of my take of which myself all the are card carrying members. But have you had a foot injury? I have had many foot injuries. It's serious stuff. Yeah.
So Jake has a pretty much broken ankle right now, which he suffered beating Hank in tennis today.
And Billy, just so you know, Jake, Billy didn't laugh at you, but he did a lot, I think. Yeah, you did. Billy laughs. I was very supportive of you, Billy. Thank you, Billy. Set up the ice bucket. Yeah, that's after I forced him to.
He also told me it was an ice bucket challenge. He was like, sweet. That was so funny.
It was during the very last point of tennis of the eastern Canadian doubles. I went over for an overhead slam. We went in, but my ankle did not.
That was like Tiger Woods and Brooks Koepka winning on an injured foot warrior. Jake, thank you for you guys for the help. Yeah. All right. If you feel you got anything, why don't you break down Jake's why don't you break down ankle sprains for hurt or injured? Jake was a higher level ankle sprain anyway.
So I've been thinking a lot lately.
I've actually been having very vivid dreams of playing football lately. I went camping over the weekend, so I was deep in the woods, disconnect from all sorts of Internet. And I really just started.
You were able to tweet a lot considering you had no Internet. I didn't tweet for two days and I saw tweets today.
What, the one that you said bear poop. Scott, that was on Sunday. That was my best picture on the camping trip. Anyway, I think I would make a comeback. I'm not sure how that's going to happen anyway.
I love you guys on. So I'm coming to you live on. It can be lovely to see. So he's to meet. David. It's pardon my tape presented by barstool sports.