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Thanks, guys, and enjoy the show. Hello, welcome, welcome once again to Radio Rental. Careful there are you may notice that I have some stacks of headshots around the store. Its portrait signing day. Let me see her. Follow your dreams like a benevolent stalker. Listen to your heart like an ambitious cardiologist and shoot for the stars like Elon Musk after his first cup of coffee. And most of all, be sure to be open to all possibilities with love.
Terry Carnation. This is all part of my book tour for The Darkest of Air. The Trials and Tribulations of Late Nights, Most Luxurious Vocal Cords, Me Terry Carnation. It's my official memoir, The Darkest of Air, an eclectic mix of original prose. And actually there's no original prose. The whole thing is transcripts of my sessions with my therapist, Dr. Norman Kasdan. Critics are calling it raw. Actually, what one of them actually said was a little too raw, which which is good.
And another said it boldly disregarded conventions like spelling and grammar, which is exactly what I was going for while spelling and grammar. Hold your back. I need to express myself now on to the tape. Hold on to your helmets. This one's a bumpy ride. Please bring. When I was nine, nine or 10, I got in a really bad sledding accident with my uncle. I was sledding in Delaware and the sled at the base of the hill spun around and there was a metal pole.
I hit my head really bad. I got knocked out. I had this pretty traumatic head injury and nothing really came of it until puberty, 16, 17. I started having, like, little seizures where I got damaged in my lobe. Can have some blips issues. These seizures basically came about from a brain developing and getting bigger. Apparently started triggering seizures. What you have before you have a seizure is called an aura, and it ranges for different people.
Sometimes those who arrived have really long, prolonged dejavu. The sensation of an aura can be really negative because it can make you realize the propensity for you to have a seizure is really great because you're having this happen. It's almost like a panic attack. I used to go on bike rides a lot. My dad's big, avid cyclist. We were like very outdoorsy family. I used to go biking in the state park where there's this small one lane, roads through the woods.
It was the fall. My plan was to just go on this one road, get to the T stop, and then basically double back down another road that led back to my house. I remember getting on my bike that day and just having, like, little twitches.
I hadn't slept a lot. I knew I'd been out with friends and I was like, oh, let's, you know, whatever, just because I like pride and sleep, like last night, I kind of shook it off. I had a little twitch when I left my house. Whatever I exercise will make me feel better. My town is super quiet, especially in the fall. It's near the Jersey Shore after the summer after Labor Day. Everyone leaves.
There's all this myth around the Pinelands. It was Native American land. It's a real quiet day. I literally don't even remember passing a single car.
I turned down a bridge probably a mile into the park.
All of a sudden, like as I'm biking, I feel a physical sensation of a hand on my left shoulder. Just like gripping me, I couldn't turn to see the hand. It was just the feeling. And I was like, what? The last thing I remember was this voice in my left ear, the sound of a voice was just ethereal voice. I heard it on my left ear. But it consumed my whole being. This woman saying.
You're going to have a seizure. It's going to be OK. And that was the last thing that I remembered. I woke up and my first thought was just like my bike riding. Where am I? I'm in a pile of leaves. It's probably like six feet by three feet. Across the street is my bike leaning on a tree. I took out my little Cingular Wireless phone I had at the time when I was in high school. Felt like a really long time since I left my house and I'm laying in a pile of leaves.
My bike was leaning on a tree and I was OK. On this road, there is no one around my bikes on the tree. I didn't pass anybody else and I didn't remember passing anybody else. At some point, I consciously or unconsciously or something put the bike on the tree on the side of the road and then walked me over to the pilot leaves that I laid it. This is sort of the weird thing about Aura's. There's sort of this gap of time that happens from the moment you first have that aura to.
Once you've had the seizure, there's this window. You don't have any really conscious awareness over memory of it really does wipe your memory. I didn't remember leaning my Boykin's straight and remember getting off my bike. I didn't remember biking that quarter mile down the road. It's sort of like putting time together backwards after a seizure. And I have to think, OK, I left my house and what happened when I left my house? We walked back through it.
And then I get to the thing like, oh, man, I remember hearing a voice and feeling a hand on my shoulder, or as are the warning signs. The proteome symptom of a seizure, but also an can refer to that transcendent energy given off by a living thing or an object for this young man. That aura felt one and the same. It took on a human voice, a human touch.
People are gonna think I'm crazy. This is a misunderstood neurological issue that like people are going to have some sort of negative view of me and my mental health. And like, it's like A or B. If it wasn't a religious or paranormal experience or protective being guiding me, if it wasn't that.
It's sort of still an amazing insight into what the human mind would potentially do for self-preservation. And this sort of like ability to not have any conscious awareness. It's almost like an entirely like unconsciously driven protective thing that could have happened. To me, it's either one of those. When I sort of look back on that day I grew up in those woods isn't like, I don't know, I feel really connected to. Part of me wants to think that it was some being in those woods looking out for me.
Chilling, absolutely chilling. Well, I hate to make an abrupt pivot, but I do need to fund my book tour. So let's hear some endorsements from our beloved advertisers and their myriad of wonderful products and services. Now, no skipping ahead. That's right. Keep your finger off that 30 second button. Please do it for Terry. We're all spending more time at home than ever. And that means finding new ways to have fun. I've been playing best fiends and I absolutely love it if you love solving challenging puzzles while collecting cute characters.
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Download best feeds for free on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's friends without the your best fiends. Thank you so much for listening to our advertisers. Just know that your patronage pays for the wonderful establishment that is radio rental and allows me to launch my literature into the ethos. But enough of this wretched housekeeping onto the next tape of this one is sure to give you goose pimples. I was 18. Freshman year of college. Really excited to finally be away from home.
Didn't really know anybody was never really good at making friends.
But I did happen to know a person who was also from back home in Houston who went to one of my sister schools to hang out with them for a while. And we ended up going regularly to this improper show where we'd just go there every Friday.
Have a good time. There is one week where she can make it. She's going back to Houston for the weekend. So, again, I didn't know anybody, didn't really have any other friends.
So I turned to the Internet, Facebook specifically.
I made a post to to see if I could find somebody to go to hang out with as a friend, just like somebody to go with anybody. I know now, I didn't want to go by myself, which I ended up doing because nobody responded. Try that. Didn't hear anything. We went to the show. Had a good time by myself.
Classic. It wasn't till a few days later that I realized someone actually had responded. Facebook does this weird thing where it's like here the messages from your friends that show up and if you got some from a stranger, it goes into the secret box and it's you. And it was this girl saying, yeah, she'd be down to go. And I was just kicking myself like, OK. God damn it! Like Harborside. But a massive tree bark and was like, hey, sorry, I just saw this.
Blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, if he'd be down to go next time this weekend, she would reach out to me. And we set up the next time that we could go to this show. Here they are in the show started. She was texting me and she was on her way. She walked into that auditorium. Wow. She's just like, cutest thing you ever did see. Big scarf and oversized beanie. And this oversized jacket was like this stereotype alternative girls just walked in.
I had two simultaneous thoughts. Wow. She's cool. And the second was, oh, shit, she's cool. I'm sitting here with my socially awkward us trying to figure out how I'm going to handle this situation, how I'm going to go from here. Is she going to like me? She just kind of slides in and we both make eye contact, share smiles, and we figure this is who we're here for. Right.
She had a very wavy, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes. Her voice was soft, but her words were flippant. She was very witty and she wasn't loud, but you could tell she had opinions, convictions. But right off the bat, it feels like it's off to a good start. Fortunately, it's a show, so we didn't have to talk.
That is right. And much to my relief. It seems like we clicked pretty quick. And that night I invited her to a party.
I was in this theater club that was throwing like a get together some of the new members. And I was like, hey, come to this thing with me.
Theater kids are all a little weird, a little awkward, but they know how to party. It was in a co-op, really crowded, really dingy. Plenty of activity is for young, horny teenagers who danced.
I got drunk, you know, shared some things about ourselves that we probably forgot.
The next morning, serious. A good time. Chaos stirred a coffee or something.
Something really noncommittal. Something that would be just the two of us. And we did. I had had relationships in high school. They were very high school or very, in retrospect, artificial.
It's not like the first time that I was, like, really starting to get to know somebody. I started going to her apartment, sort of coming up to my dorm. You know, I felt like I was dating somebody who was my friend. I mean, back then, I had a lot of self-esteem issues. Here's a person who is interested. I mean, that felt rare at the time. When you're coming from a place where you aren't sure of yourself and this this relationship feels like something something that you just really lucked out and getting in the first place.
If there are red flags, you completely miss them. The first real blow to that was this guy who messaged me on Facebook.
What he sent me was just a deluge of angry, jealous messages like, you don't know her like I do. I would be better for her. I'm her friend. I'll be here when you're gone. His name was Jacob. His profile picture was this skinny guy with thick black rimmed glasses. I wasn't sure what to do about that. I didn't even know the guy. I didn't know where he came in. I had never met him before. Alice had never talked about him.
Sorry. Go to her and ask, who is this dude? Oh, him. Don't listen to him. Don't worry about him. Ignore him. I don't hang out with him anymore.
There's this shitty Jos dude that she knows she doesn't necessarily want to associate with anymore. But I was confused about why this person felt the need to do that. Why this person felt they could do that. But eventually I decided I was done. Blocked the guy and I thought it'd be the end of whatever that was. But it wasn't. Summer came and went. Alice was majoring in international relations. She was going to Morocco. Never really got a chance to, like, sit down, reconnect.
She was already gone. She was halfway across the world, so time zones were out of whack. I mean, it was hard to contact her at all. I started to get more messages. First, there was Hannah. She sent a bunch of messages about Jacob echoing a lot of what he said.
This girl was advocating for him, why he should be in a relationship with Alice and not me.
She sent me a picture, a grainy black and white picture.
This girl sitting on this guy's lap and they're making out. You can't see either of their faces. But Hannah swears to me that as Alice and Jacob. I mean, I didn't know how to respond. I mean, there wasn't a whole lot of time to think about that specifically because I was starting to get messages from other people, too.
There was Nick profile picture of a guy pretty much silhouetted on a skateboard in front of us on the side. He tried to come in as some kind of voice of reason.
Hey, I know Jacob and Hannah are putting you through some shit. There are kind of a duo of absolute garbage. I will do my best to deal with it.
I started to get more messages from more accounts which claimed to be a childhood friend of Alice.
And there was Majka, he, like Nick, apologized for a lot of what was going on. I mean, it felt like there was a conspiracy. All these people that I had never met before and never seen before. I don't know what their faces look like.
It's just whack a mole, digital whack a mole. I wasn't sure what to do with it. And basically losing my mind at this point. Alice had another friend who I had actually met before. I contacted her asking to meet and I asked her, do you know them? Have you met them before? And she said, no. She knew who any of these people were. I started getting texts to my phone. She says her name is Maria.
She's saying things like, why haven't you called me? Did you mean what you said to me? I'll come to you.
I'll find you. Really horrifying stuff.
I didn't know what I could do to make things stop.
When I brought this up to Alice, she was confused about it. She didn't know whoever this Mary was and that she had actually been getting texts. I felt helpless. I did not know what to do with that.
I started to get texts from Mary and that would say that she saw me somewhere on campus.
I came to your theater show. She wouldn't talk about things that I actually did in places that I actually was that day. I felt like I was being stocks. I didn't really know who it was. I didn't know what they looked like. I was concerned for my safety. These texts were becoming obsessive and intrusive. And the worst part was the threat was faceless. I mean, the messages could be from anybody, right? They got a message from Nick who had died.
He had found Mary. They had had an encounter. She had brought a gun. At this point, there was always the suggestion of real physical violence. And at that point, I was on. I called Alice, said, I'm sorry, this is too much. I'm done. I mean, she just kind of took it on the chin. I mean, acted like it was no big deal. Well, you can't handle it.
Fine. After that, everything just stops. I didn't hear from any of these people. I wasn't getting tax. It was just gone. I guess they can never really know for sure who these people were, but I know one person it could have been.
And that's Alice. Couple years later, I am out of the blue. Got a text from Alice. She had texted me just one word talk. I did not respond to that.
If you're a fan of the paranormal and true crime, then I have the perfect podcast for you. It's called And That's Why We Drink. Each week, hosts Christine and Emme dive deep in the chilling ghost stories and scary true crime cases. You can also get involved at the show yourself by sending in your own submissions for listener stories, which are a monthly bonus episodes in which Christine and M. share their own spooky stories. Aliens, ghosts, murder. And you'll get to know Christine and Ms.
Other loves to their dog, G.O. and their cat Juniper. The world is a pretty scary place and that's why they drink wine and milkshakes are the preferred choices. So if you want a good new podcast, this is it. And that's why we drink. Join Christine and Em every Sunday for all things creepy. Listen on Apple, Spotify or every get your podcast. And that's why we drink.
In the high stakes world of crime and justice, understanding the legal system isn't optional. It's critical. Hi, I'm Philip Holloway, host of the podcast Schwan from Tenderfoot TV and I Heart Radio. We've got an all new season and this time we're tackling the problems directly. We'll look at faulty forensic science, false confessions and mandatory minimum prison sentences.
California has the largest prison system in the United States. United States is the largest prison system in the world.
In some cases, capital murder cases just preventing a death sentence and getting life without parole.
Was it when people just want justice so bad that they're willing to accept everything at face value, when they need to really look deeper and really stand up when they hear about an injustice that's happening. Season two of Schwan is underway and it's available now. Listen on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Oh, oh, oh, I got you. I made you jump. I had a feeling you'd be on edge after that last story. Well, I've been told time and time again, mostly from my therapist, Dr. Norman Kasdan, that it's good to get out of your comfort zone. You can learn about that and much, much more. In my memoir, The Darkest of Air A Carnation Grows on Mars. Hmm. Perhaps I'll read you an excerpt.
Now, where to begin?
Maybe it's the chapter when my mother hired this silly young man from the neighborhood with a guitar to babysit me who turned out to be a young Charlie Manson. True story. Oh, not enough time. Seems the clock is running out. Perhaps during our next meeting. Please pick up a copy of my book at your nearest bookseller. And be sure to avoid any used copies at all costs. I don't get paid for those, as always. I send you much love and appreciation.
My fellow friends of the night, my brethren of the bazaar are my allies of the alarming. My compadres in the macabre. Something like that. I don't know. Anyway, tune in next week for another thrill on radio rental. Radio rental is created by Payne Lindsay and brought to you by tenderfoot TV and Atlanta executive producers Lindsay and Donald Albrecht, hosted by Rainn Wilson as his character. Terri Carnation, produced by Payne Lindsay. Mike Rooney and me.
Meredith Steadman. Written by Meredith Steadman with additional writing by Mark Latham. Sound designed by Cooper Skinner. Original score by Makeup and Vanity Set. Additional production by Christina, Dana and Mason Lindsay. Cover Art by Trevor Eiler and Rob Sharida. Voice Acting by Ryan Jones, Casey Willis and the Tender Foot TVG. Shout out to Tiny Doors HBO for the creation of our Real-Life Miniature Radio Rental Store. You can check that out and more on her Instagram at Tiny Doors HBO special thanks to Grace Royer and Oren Rosenbaum at UTSA, as well as support from the Naude Group Station 16 back media and marketing and the team at kadence 13.
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