Transcribe your podcast

I'm Kate Berlin, and I'm Jaclyn Novak. We're comedians who made a podcast tracking our obsession with wellness. Look, we're healthy, we're happy.


We are not sick. Nonetheless, we're looking to here. We are looking to hear why, you know, we're addicted to wellness. This is our hobby. This is our house. This is our naked desire for free products. This is PWG. That's W.G. PWG, the Big Money Players Network and I heart radio. Here's a little snippet.


When I buy a dairy free yogurt and I'm excited to try it, I know that I'm chasing a hungry ghost that will never be fat. Yes, right. There's part of me that knows that, yes, maybe I should cut back on dairy, but really, what am I actually chasing? Right.


Because, again, I, of course, tragically do not have a food allergy. Right. This isn't actually about something as simple as a dairy allergy. It's never the dairy allergy. It's your father. Right? Never even remotely being interested in anything. It's not the dairy.


It's daddy. But the dairy is not helping either. No, exactly. We are going to be living inside the line between is it the dairy or isn't it the dairy? OK, it's the sweet spot of asking the question. It's the mystery. I want to live in the mister. Don't get me started. I want to go on the journey. Right. I want to be called into the tent of the snake oil salesman of the oh a charlatan.


The trade shows full of charlatans. You say, let's go in. We want to believe this is not a show.


We're not myth busting like crystals are fake. It's like everyone knows that. No we're not. They still laugh at crystals. No, I'm not so uninteresting to so deeply we'll take down Zaventem gum or is that the good one? I want to take down the additives that are added to Tonette Milks Gorga carrageenan.


I want to take down natural flavors. Right. I want to take down. Yeah. You know everyone now. Oh, mushroom powder is right. Cordyceps and lion's mane. I didn't turn over the packaging. You go, oh really. Looks like one of the predominant ingredients in this mushroom powder is brown rice. So how do you sleep?


I know it's funny because it's similar to the big collie brand, the big cauliflower pizza crusts that are literally ninety nine percent white rice.


Oh, it's a cauliflower crust for Yukino has no. And I want to say, like, let's be clear. We are going to get bogged down in the world of, like, the juice cleanse. Like, I do want to do some horrifying five day fasting mimicking cleanse as to I do want to try that out. I want to try everything I do. I'm not looking for the one solution because that would end the search. That would end the podcast.




For me, it's a joy to briefly believe that there is something that will cause all the pain to go away and then to seek out the most optimized, lowest cost, easily accessible and attractive version of that thing.


And that is I hope it could be a reprieve for those who are consumerist hogs to get into the product descriptions.


Do you know what I mean? Compare reviews, whatever they get in the muck of work at dinner.


Others are bored because we are staring into each other's eyes, screaming about which non sugar sweetener is the least toxic monck fruit.


In my opinion, this is very, very graphic. We have a urethral stevia blend and I have never been on the stevia train.


OK, but actually it's exactly true that we suffer from no ailments. We are looking to heal. For us, salvation lies in the next product, practice or potion. This is PWG on the I Heart radio ad or whatever.


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