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Do you love all things geeky? Well, so do we. Join us, Jonathan Strickland and Ariel Kastin on the Large Hadron Collider podcast as we take on the geeky news of today and turn it into so bad. It's good quick bites of fanfic. Listen on the radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Hey, everyone, it's Michelle Williams, and I love being able to share my story with you on my podcast, checking in with Michelle Williams were my guests and I we get real as we share the ups and downs of our mental health journeys.

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And I'd love for you to join me. Hey, it's going to be your church and your turn up. So listen to checking in with Michelle Williams every Tuesday, a part of the black effect on the radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

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Pay Färm, Jada Pinkett Smith, and this is the Red Tablecloth podcast, all your favorite episodes from the Facebook Watch show in audio produced by Westbrooke Audio and I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to write and review on Apple podcasts.

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Do you feel like you are appreciated as a father? That was a very difficult time for our family.

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Divorce was the ultimate failure for me. I did not have a good time. I mean, I had to walk this one off.

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You're really a great father. So you may know how to act. Did you cut your hair? How did you do it? Beautiful makeup. Oh, man. Happy. Just what time does your phone say at the point? He's a minute late. Yes.

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Oh, that's right. Yes. Actually, put it in my pocket and there, mic check. Can you hear me? Well, you got your clipboard. Yeah, how about that? This will be the last hour. I'll be able to sit in front of you with a clipboard altogether.

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I'm trying to give you room for your damn clipboard. You look very handsome. All right.

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Thank you. You look quite delectable yourself. Yeah.

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I like this color on you. The first guest on the red couch. The couch. Let me just say this. Thank you for coming and talking about fatherhood. Having been a child that didn't grow up with a father, I understood and felt the absence of not having a father.

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But I've learned a lot about fatherhood through you. Yeah, watching you, Father.

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When do you think your fatherhood instincts kicked in? From the time I was.

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Six years old, I wanted to be a father, right? I loved how my family was, but there were massive critical deficiencies in my father's parenting that I wanted to correct. OK. By the time I was 10 years old, I remember looking at my father thinking I could do it better than him.

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And what made you think you could do it better?

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My father had a little bit of a temper. Yeah. And I was a gentle kid. My like, I was not a kid that you had to slap or punch or beat.

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So, you know, growing up in a household where physical aggression or aggression was approved of, that really chafed my hide that hurt my spirit.

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What would you say was your father's super power as a dad?

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He had a couple of things that were like spectacular. The strongest thing is he was a teacher. Every single moment was a teaching moment. Right. He believed that school wasn't the only place you got an education and school was actually in his way. And his thing was, you can't father from a distance. He wanted his kids beside him while he was doing the thing that he was best in the world at so he could be seen in his best light and he could teach from moment to moment.

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Got it.

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Before Daddio passed, you did some interviews with him and a film crew over a few months before he died. And I don't know if you've seen this.

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I probably have it. I'm like, oh no, you would get me back for the time I was playing for it.

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I used to buy used ice machines, fix them up like new and manufacture ice.

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I got a refrigerated truck and along the way I actually bought a building. It was really in serious disrepair.

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At one point the whole roof caved in and was just laying in the middle of the floor.

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It looked like a bomb had actually hit it.

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The kids were up around 15 and 13. And I said, you know, we had to rebuild this place. And the kids thought, there's no way that we're going to get this done.

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And I said, yes, if we just lay one perfect brick at a time, we'll have a good foundation and it'll last. And we started working on that thing in the spring and it was Christmas Eve.

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And of course, we were running out of money. It started to snow and we just cut in little pieces of wood just to try to get the roof closed. And we got that last board.

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On the roof. And the kids were so happy. And I said, see, we can accomplish anything we work hard enough to accomplish if we just put our murderer. And I think that's probably one of the the best lessons that I've ever taught, and it's true, if you build a good, solid foundation, then it's going to be long lasting and you're going to have a much better building. And the building is you. Hmm, yeah. Wow.

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You got me doing. Yeah, that was some of the lessons that he taught, I think that one's the one that I come back to most in my life, right.

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The whole wall was down and he said, you are going to rebuild it. It was impossible, right? It was utterly impossible. And he was overseeing he specifically didn't want to touch one brick because he knew when we got to the end of it, he needed it to be our wall.

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Yeah. And you saw how emotional it was with him.

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That's how he wanted to teach. He didn't want to talk about it. And he specifically wanted you to be at work on things that serve the family.

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How did that influence you as a man? The big thing is I lost my fear of things that are impossible.

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And that's for damn sure. I guess that's for sure. It's like nothing impossible.

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How did that transfer to your fathering of trade, Jaden and Willow, the major part was in not beating on them for school. Right. I learned that everywhere in school. Uh, yeah.

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That anything you do, you have to do it. Well, getting good grades isn't above cleaning the kitchen. If you have to discipline your mind and excel whatever you do and all of the lessons that you need to teach are everywhere. Yeah, that was the big one.

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And the idea of having to contribute, you have to have to contribute.

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Getting things for yourself is cool, but it will never make you as happy and as confident as when you build a wall for your family to eat.

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That's important because our family's been under the public microscope for a long time. I think people didn't understand why we both valued that idea of kids going to work.

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People thought we were forcing our kids to and that was part of education life for them in so many ways. Absolutely.

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You know, Daddio, he was an old school, hard military minded.

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Get it done. Get it done. And he means that any means necessary. There was no quit in him. Yeah.

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And he was a firm disciplinarian while he was in the Air Force. So he demanded order. The combination of order and teaching made him a very powerful role model and a psychological force. What he wanted to do is discipline, natural reactions into your mind.

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So when it got hot, you didn't have to think it's military. It's military. One time he sent me to the store to get some cigarettes for him when he was growing up. You could go get your cigarette.

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You can do that no more. I went up to the corner, Mr. Bryant. Mr. Bryant said my father, he he smoked haratin hundreds and they didn't have him. And Mr. Bryant said, you know, tell your father I'll hold a carton for him. They come in tomorrow. Oh, cool. They didn't have them. So I started walking home and my friends were playing. So I just got distracted. And I'll never forget the image.

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And I turn and I see my father with no shirt on walking up the middle of the street.

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And I was like, Oh, right, right.

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And I was like, Mr. Bryant said they didn't have him and that he'll hold a curtain for you. And he said, When I send you to do something, there's two possibilities. One, you complete the mission or two, your dad. And I was like, oh, shoot, he said, when you don't come home, I need to know to grab my gun and come shooting because there was nothing that would keep you from finishing the mission.

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All right. You are very disciplined, man, today. Absolutely. Would you say that that was an imperative part of your what I now consider man training is like everything right in his life was man training.

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He didn't separate anything. Right. Eating dinner is the same as war.

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I know that you were able to really value your father's imperfections. Yeah.

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Once he had passed on. Well, there's such beautiful qualities that he instilled that are a big part of what made me me. And as the yin to every yang, I watched him beat up my mother.

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Yeah. So the biggest emotional scar that I have in this lifetime, he delivered that also. He showed me a lot of things that I wanted to do, but he also showed me the things I would absolutely, positively never do to my children. He was so smart.

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Yeah. And then when he would get angry, he would turn into the dumbest person I've ever met. Right.

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As a kid, I couldn't understand it.

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But all of his wisdom disappeared as he got older. He had cancer amongst amongst other things.

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He smoked from the time he was 11 years old. Right. And he drank from the time he was 12. Right. Every day. Every day. Yeah. Yeah. As he got feeble and frail, I could just see the little boy in there.

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Yeah, well, married Sheree Zampino in 1992 after meeting on the set of the hit sitcom A Different World.

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Later that year, they welcomed a beautiful baby boy, Willott the third, and decided to call them Trey.

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I'm teaching my son how to be sure ring around a rosy happy birthday today.

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But not long after Trey's second birthday, they divorced.

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So Will Smith becomes a father at twenty four. Twenty four? Yeah. Why are you so gay?

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What was that like, Trey? Being your first born, first born? You bringing him home from the hospital? I think that was my first moment of the real wait. Of parenting. Mm hmm. And I brought him home and I remember we put him in the bassinet and we went to sleep and it was like stark terror.

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Yeah. And it was like, I'm totally responsible for this life. Do you ever think about how you're going to die?

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I think I'm going to choke to death specifically on a cool ranch, Doritos.

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I'm definitely slipping in the shower, I'm for sure. Going to die taking a selfie anyway. Hey, I'm Gabby. I'm Taylor. I'm Neka. And we're the host of a new podcast called Argyle's.

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We're just three fun and flirty gals talking about all the fun and flirty ways that people expire, like how three people died because of a poodle and how you shouldn't trust your ex-boyfriend to help you get rid of a body.

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We'll also find out about all of Nico's boyfriends. That is untrue. And we will find out that Taylor is a horse girl and Gabby is the best one.

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OK, Gabby, basically this podcast is kind of like Sex in the City. If they only talked about that, people join us as we laugh, but mostly crime in the face of death. We'll also learn how to grow as people through the power of friendship.

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So listen to cadaver gals for your weekly dose of chaos. Cadaver Guiles is a production of School of Humans and I heart radio new episodes out on Wednesdays.

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Listen to cadaver gals on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Are you a music fan? Do you need more music talk in your life than you should be listening to? Record Store Society Music Talk Show Podcast on the I Heart Radio Network.

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Record Store Society is a virtual trip to your local record store hosted by me, Terry Davis and me, Sir Nicholas Johnson. Every Friday you'll find Stephanie behind the counter at your favorite record store, dispensing recommendations, making lists and talking to our customers about anything and everything music related.

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And you never know who's going to stop by our record stores frequented by musicians, producers, writers, actors, and especially lots of unfamous. Nobody's like you and I. Tarrah. That's right. As long as they are excited to talk about music, they'll probably make an appearance in our record store sooner or later and we can't wait to talk to them. I want to find out what their top five debut albums are. I want to find out who their top five Beatles are doing exactly.

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So listen to Record Store Society on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And I just couldn't stop going and checking and I was like, oh, no, every I've got to make sure he's he's breathing and all of that, you know, all of that new parenting stuff.

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But I just cried so hard, like, it makes me teary right now. It's like right from. What was that like. I can't do it. Yeah, like I'm not the guy. Yeah, I'm not the guy, you know, and it was like, Oh, man.

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I just knew I didn't know nothing. Yeah. Oh, man. Because I don't need to get myself together. That's fine. I mean, I had to walk this one off. Go ahead, babe. How much whatever it's like in that moment. It was like how much better than me my father was? It was like. It's on me now. Mm. I need a tissue. You need tissue. Yeah, OK. That oh, that's perfect.

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See, I thought the rig count wouldn't get me like this, the red tape will always get you like this, but the rig counts are safe. But like. My parents was in Philly, you know, I was that it was on their way and I'm in here with my baby. And it was like. You know, my father did this, my father did that when I'm a parent. Yeah. And then I'm here and I'm shaking them to make sure he's breathing.

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It hit me how fragile parenting is. Yes. And just in that moment, I could see all of the spectacular lessons, what my father had instilled in me. And I was like, there's no way.

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Right. I'm not that good. Wow. But you know how my mind works, I do know how my mind works, I got a good night's sleep. Yeah, game on. Game on. Right, right.

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Which was part of what your father instilled. Yes. Absolutely. I want to talk about one interesting concept that you've brought up quite a bit in regards to Trey and divorce and the idea being that just because a man might not be the best husband. Yes. Does not mean he's not a good father.

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Yeah, with Sheree and with Trey, that was a really difficult time.

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They love you.

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I mean, divorce was the worst thing that like in my adult life. Yeah. Divorce was the ultimate failure for me. Yeah. I've been hurt a lot in my adult life, but I don't think anything touches the failure of getting divorced from my two year old son's mother. Yeah, yeah.

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Sheree and I ran into that. You know, if a man's not a great husband, then he loses his parental rights and I'm a way better father than I am a husband. In that process, you start fighting for your rights and the kid is in the middle. Yeah, sure. And I had that for a couple of years and I called Daddio. And because of my experience of seeing Daddio punch my mother, I knew that my kids would never.

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Sydney do anything violent towards their mothers. Right. But in the first couple of years of Trey's life, because Sheree and I were divorced. I think my desire to never have my son see me in that way made me more absent. As a father, you wanted to create distance and you wanted to create enough distance. No. Yeah, we're not going to be cursing because we're not going to be fighting.

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And I called Daddy and Daddy told me you'll never win. If you fight a kid's mother and I was like, when I'm supposed to do if you don't get to just do that. He was like, surrender. Uh, he said when he's 13.

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He's going to come look for you. Right. And then I just kind of backed up a little bit and it was like. You know, if Trey wants to come over, he can come over, but I'm not going to force you to. Do anything, especially if your mother wants something different, and that was a really difficult time, and then just like Daddy said, as soon as Trey was ready, he was ready.

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He came looking for his father, my literal father and best friend, doing big things in life, father and best father and best friend. We had a lot of parents don't get to hear that. I appreciate that. Thank you, sir.

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One of the things with you and I that worked well is you didn't demand that I do it the way you want to do it. And I didn't demand that you do it the way I wanted you to do it right now. Sometimes we had to just leave.

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Yeah, right.

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You know, but Shari and I really struggled with each other needing the other person to do it their way. She needed me to father the way she wanted Trey fathered. And I'm not that guy. Yeah. I'm not the parent teacher meeting throwing baseballs with the kid. And I beat myself up for that for a while, wanting to be that dad.

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Right. I am the we're going to build something together for work, Dad. Right.

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Like your father was like my father to me. Right.

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I'm always looking for things that we both enjoy doing.

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When did you come upon that discovery? I think SRES football solidified it for me.

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This young boy, Tasmin, we were shooting Karate Kid in Beijing and it was during TREIS football season. Yeah.

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So it was you know, that was a very difficult time. Yeah. For our family. And Jaden and I commuted from Beijing every single Friday. Yeah. We would fly and land Friday afternoon in L.A., go to trace football game.

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We would stay home for Saturday and then fly back and be at work Monday morning in Beijing.

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Yeah, I remember for ten weeks. Yes, I would say that's the high point of my parenting. Right.

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There's very few things in my life I enjoyed as much as watching that boy play football.

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And he loved you and he loved me watching him do it. He could feel my authentic joy right to be there, not because I'm his father and I have to.

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Right, right.

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Going from The Karate Kid and flying home every weekend to watch Trae play, I was like, I'm father and the hell out.

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These kids, The Karate Kid experience. I look back today because I used to be very angry about that experience.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't have a good time.

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I did not have a good time. One of the things that I recognize out of that now, when I look at Jason's work ethic and I look at it, I call it his sage like drive.

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He knows how to hunt. Yeah, OK. And that's because of you. And I do believe that Karate Kid and his experience there was very pivotal in regards to the young man that he is today and how he knows how to build things and how he knows how to get it done.

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He knows how to suffer if there is a central lesson that came from Daddio, that was you can't build anything if you're not willing and even sometimes seeking suffering.

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And I think that is one of the differences between mother and father.

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Yes, right. A mother wants to protect your son. Absolutely. OK.

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And a father teaching you how to find your strength, your strength in suffering through applied suffering.

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Oh, baby. People used to say to us all the time, oh, my goodness, how do you feel about putting your kids in Hollywood?

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You like like like putting them in Hollywood? I grew up in Philly and she grew up in Baltimore. If these kids can't take Hollywood to Hollywood, a couple of people right. In some bad stuff and saying some crap about them, we got some issues.

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Part of my parenting belief system is I want them at the edge of the maximum amount of suffering that they can manage. All right. That's where the lessons are. That's where you find your strength. That's where you learn things about yourself. That said, daddy tried. Do you remember the moment with Jaden, with the splits? I was there, right. That moment was when I knew that the bulk of my fathering was done.

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Yeah, Jaden was doing splits.

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And Jackie Chan is hardcourt in the Master Wu, yeah, Master Wu, so Jaden was trying to learn how to do the splits for four Karate Kid and so he's in the splits and he can't quite get down into the splits.

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So he's trying to get he's trying to get it. And tears are in his eyes and Master Wu walks up behind him and steps on his back and pushes him down.

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I hope I don't get into the splits and he's holding them.

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And Jaden is crying and he's crying. He's crying and he gets up and he lets them up out of the splits and he comes over and JDA.

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I said to him, I said, I went over there.

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He was in tears. It was in tears. And he said, Are you done? Are you done? Because we we're going to stop. Right. Stop, right. Yeah. He said, no.

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And he's like, no, mommy, I'm not going again. And he turned and he looked at Master Wu and he said one more time, yup.

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I was like, oh yeah, one more time. I was like, yes, that was a turning point. Daddio would have made me do it one more time. Oh, he decided Jaiden decided on his own with the option of not doing it again.

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Yeah, because I made it very clear. I made it very clear. Yeah, we're done.

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Yes. I was like, he has learned the lesson that I learned with the wall.

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Yeah. That whole experience was very pivotal for Jane.

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And so, yeah, kudos to my superpower. As a father is teaching in the moment, in the moment, right?

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Yes, it's teaching, I would say teaching and preaching any what I'm going to tell you a joke. Why did the parents go to the movies that he can't children a baby say that's not funny.

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Thank you, Jane. I look a little disappointed.

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OK, what did the cops say to the chlorophyll? Oh, yea.

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High say that was worse than the first one that was in the first one. You'll give my comedy love.

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I don't put all that on it. She hurt your feelings a little bit.

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Will you tell a joke that while the pilot got through because I'm a I'm a teacher and I'm a preacher.

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Right. There's nothing like on the job parenting Jaden and Willow, they were home schooled for a couple of different reasons. One of the critical ones is because I had learned from the situation with Trey, you can't father from a distance. I felt my hands tied in parenting, Trey, for that, you know, the first eight or nine years of his life. Got it. And my kids being with me is of a higher value than sitting in a classroom.

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Yeah. Spending time with me on set or wherever I had to be. But I would be gone for four months at a time. Yeah. And I just feel like just for me, the nature of my job has me physically and mentally distracted. So I have to make up for that with presence. You have to be with me. We've talked a lot about the boys.

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I want to talk a little bit about Willow, because we're my tissue, my belief I really do believe that, Willow, if she could just penetrate doing avoid all of my belief system, yet she made you have to fall back on your military tray.

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Kind of got the most old school daddio version of me. And then Jayden, I got midway through that and I started to see that I was hurting him. He's not that dude. Trey actually gets riled up when you lean on him a little bit. Right. And then I tried to put that same lean on Willow, and she rejected it thoroughly.

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Yeah, rejection of full rejection of the military mindset. Yeah, I was raised military. I succeeded in the material world following these precepts. Discipline, hard work. You write the plan and you die versus not sticking to the plan. It's really simple.

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Yes.

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And it was the the willow with whip my hair. The video whip, my hair, Willow, was just nine when she dropped her debut single with my hair. Which quickly went double platinum blue cheese sandwich record label and announced a multicity tour with Justin Bieber, but after a few shows, Willo had different plans. She committed to these 30 days on with my hair and we were in Dublin, Ireland, and she did her fourth or fifth show and came off stage and was like, I'm ready to go, Daddy.

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And she was ready to go home. You know, I was like, well, no, you can't go home, baby. You committed to 30 days. You can't go home. She kept asking and she was like, Daddy, it doesn't matter how I feel.

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And I was like, yes, baby, it does matter how you feel, but you have to finish what you started. And she was like, but I'm I'm finished now.

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It was so devastating to me when she shaved her head ball really well because her record is whip my hair.

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I'm like, that's a protest against me. Whether or not it was it was a brilliant. Thing to do to come off of whip my hair being because it was like a top ten record, only Michael Jackson had done it younger than her and thought about all of that kind of stuff.

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And then she just shaved her head bald. Right. So I took that as a sign from God.

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I was like, this little girl is rejecting what I'm trying to do for her.

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She doesn't want it right. This is wrong, no, she can just tell you she told me no, she told Jay, don't tell a whole bunch of Jay Z. No.

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It was it was like she had made music. She she did it. She had enjoyed it and she was finished, she retired, she retired, and nobody was going to change was going to change that, and she wasn't hard with it. She was crying. She was scared. But what she wasn't going to do was do something she didn't want to do.

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Yeah, it was pretty gangster. It was really gangster. Yeah. She was like, I'm done.

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And then rebuilt her career the way she wanted, except watching that process. Yeah, absolutely.

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That was like, wow, yeah. I saw how much I was making and forcing and pushing the things that I wanted. And in that moment. I just saw I was starting to hurt her, my desire for her was overriding her desire for her.

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Yeah, right.

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And I had a real epiphany on that and how bad a person will hate you.

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If you keep forcing your wishes onto their life, so choose and I like stopped in the middle of it before I broke, I broke her right.

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And I was like, baby, I think I understand. I got it. Ever wonder what would happen if the seven dwarves from Snow White met up with the 13 dwarves from The Hobbit, ever gotten into a deep discussion about who is the ultimate mouse, Mickey Mighty or Danger ever dressed up like Doctor Who at a water park?

[00:35:12]

Then join Ariel Kastin and Jonathan Strickland on the Large Hadron Collider podcast, where we discuss all things good and geeky, from news to hot button items to personal geek failings and then mash it all together in a hilarious moulage of nerviness.

[00:35:29]

He's Jonathan. I'm Aryal. You'll find us on Large Neutron Collider. Listen on the I Heart radio app, on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:35:48]

At the right time, the right story can work magic. And right now you could all use a boost. I'm acted on Obamacare and on my new podcast on Obamacare. I will share stories with you from my life, from growing up in the Himalayan foothills, collecting in over 500 Bollywood films. I will also be bringing you stories of untold heroes from around the world. Lift our spirits and remind us that anything can happen. None of them cares on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:36:24]

You know, she introduced to me, it feels so weird, what I say is she introduced me to feelings.

[00:36:32]

Yeah, because I don't care how I feel. Right. So if I don't care how I feel, I damn sure don't care how you feel. All right. We got to achieve the mission. We need a number one record.

[00:36:47]

And I would say that with my hair thing, put a pause button on my overt parenting. Yeah, I stopped and I just started watching my kids. And with Willow, I started to see there was a higher value in talking to her about how she feels about the situation versus how to fix the situation. Right.

[00:37:12]

And it became the the new thought process for me is like, oh, my God.

[00:37:18]

Like Daddy never cared how I felt. It wasn't about how I felt. We got to win. Right. I remember it happened with Willow, then it happened with Trey.

[00:37:26]

Trey, all all these colleges wanted Trey to come play football.

[00:37:31]

And he was like, I'm not doing it. And we were like, all right, what they cut you?

[00:37:36]

I made that sounds a dog makes when you step on his right, you had to just go, hey, this is this is what he wants.

[00:37:45]

Yeah.

[00:37:46]

So when do you think it happened for Jaden when you really had to let go? With Jaden, it was after Earth that was a big one, after Earth was so painful because after Earth was my first test run of caring about how the kids were feeling from moment to moment versus accomplishing right. And you know, how I make movies I do is 24 hours a day, seven days a week until it's finished now.

[00:38:19]

And what I decided on after Earth was I'm not going to have a single moment where I push him or pound on him. I was going to be a loving father. And then the movie didn't work, right. And I was like, that's what happens when you give a damn how people feel. You can't win. It's like you can't you either you either have a beautiful, loving relationship or you succeed in the world.

[00:39:00]

How old was Jaden then?

[00:39:01]

Was he for 14, I think. Yeah. So he was like the first test run of paying attention to people's feelings, huh? Ended up in a movie that didn't work at the box office.

[00:39:14]

Right. I was furious, I remember, because I know how to win, right, if everybody just do what I say, we're going to win.

[00:39:24]

Right. Worried about your feelings right now.

[00:39:30]

But, you know, I knew I knew, too, to back up. The kids aren't ours. They are not they're not ours. They're their own people.

[00:39:40]

And I just completely let go of my needs and my desires for their lives. And I started shifting into what I called the gardener flower concept of the rain. Yeah, the seed already is what God designed it to be. Right. The gardener is not trying to make the seed become what the gardener wants.

[00:40:06]

Right. The gardener wants to create an environment where the seed can become what it wants to be. Absolutely.

[00:40:15]

Where I'm going to provide nourishment and I'm going to provide support, but I am not going to preconceive what you need to be. There is a real arrogance in that real time and it's like letting go of my picture of what I wanted them to be. Yeah. And allowing them to lead for me. That's really all you can do for your kids. Absolutely. That's all you can do. They're going to have to figure it out for themselves.

[00:40:46]

But there's an inevitable pick. Yeah.

[00:40:49]

You know, and just to have something that they can come back to where they know it's not impossible.

[00:40:53]

When I think about your father's fathering of you and then this journey of your fathering. How you are breaking your familial cycle and allowing it to evolve? Yeah, absolutely. Through your parenting. Absolutely.

[00:41:12]

Do you see that? Absolutely.

[00:41:14]

You know, it's like I love doing a lot of things. Yeah. I love being an actor. I love putting stuff out in the world. I love. Husband and wife relating, but parenting is something really rewarding and challenging about delivering human beings to the world, to the world and to themselves. Yeah.

[00:41:40]

How do you think we can help fathers feel better about their fathering?

[00:41:48]

I think there are a couple of cultural roadblocks to fathering in the black community.

[00:41:56]

Specifically, fathering has been somewhat assaulted and there have been historical, absolute and systemic hurdles to African-American fatherhood.

[00:42:11]

Yeah. And attempts to dismantle it systemically.

[00:42:16]

Yeah, there's a touchy area to talk about and I'm not relinquishing the responsibility. Let me say first and foremost, if you have kids, take care of your kids, do whatever you have to do as a man to father your children right now. With that said, there's a necessity that mothers make room for fathers. Mothers have the kids. They're yours. They're yours, it's hard, I can't get them from you. You know, I'll never get you on it.

[00:42:54]

Those are your kids. They came from your body. They're yours, right?

[00:42:58]

I can't Father, if you don't make room for me and you don't support me. That's true, and you have to make room for me in my imperfections, you can't say you're going to make room for me if I get perfect because I'm not perfect and I'm not going to get perfect, never will be right.

[00:43:16]

And I've had both situations. And, you know, it feels very true for me that motherhood is the doorway to successful fatherhood. That's important. There has to be a partnership. Yeah, the mother has to value fatherhood.

[00:43:38]

Yeah. So it is Father's Day and your kids have a few words for you.

[00:43:44]

Loving father. Happy Father's Day, my guy. I love you beyond life.

[00:43:50]

I am truly thankful for our relationship the first time, every step of the way. The journey has been magnificent. I wouldn't change anything. I was so thankful for you, for your teachings, for your wisdom, your heart. I'm truly, truly appreciative of you. And that the divine chose me to be your son. Love you. Are you big love to your father?

[00:44:17]

Dad, it's me, Jaden. This is me officially giving you the best dad of all time award. I mean, it it's real. I might not have.

[00:44:30]

The award physically here with me, but that doesn't mean that it's not real. I love you. Happy Father's Day.

[00:44:41]

You're the best out of all time. Thank you for creating a world that we can flourish and love. Your son, Jaden, rock and roll those rainbows.

[00:44:50]

A real happy Father's Day. Daddy, I love you so much. Wow, that's a beautiful makeup. How are you doing? Good.

[00:45:07]

Her car crashed and crashed and I got it by I infinitely grateful for all of the love, support and wisdom that you have given and continue to give to me throughout my life. You're amazing. We appreciate you.

[00:45:25]

And I just want to say thank you for everything I do will be.

[00:45:31]

No, really. Because you are you you know, you're really a great father.

[00:45:37]

Oh. I. Oh, yeah, it's a really. You know, even as the kids are older, you know. And you've been such a great partner. I really appreciate the parenting partnership. Mm hmm. There we are. I think there's like there's no rules, everybody wants rules. There isn't. It's more it's more art. Yes. Than it is science. Yeah.

[00:46:19]

You know, and. You know, I love what we Painton love what we paint, and it hasn't been easy, but no, it's definitely been worth it. It really has. So thank you. Happy. Oh, yeah. GAF said it was great that games always go and say anything you do is amazing.

[00:46:46]

She thought it was special though. Like that's going to be like one of the best tabletops was really impactful. See, that's how my in-laws do, especially that one.

[00:46:58]

Yes. To join the red table, talk family and become a part of the conversation, follow us at Facebook dot com slash red tabletop. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Tablecloth podcast produced by Facebook Watch Westbrooke Audio and I heart radio. Hey, I'm Gabby.

[00:47:18]

I'm Taylor. I'm Neka and we're the host of a new podcast called Argyle's. We're just three fun and flirty gals talking about all the fun and flirty ways that people expire, like how three people died because of a poodle.

[00:47:30]

Basically, this podcast is kind of like Sex in the City. If they only talked about dead people join us as we laugh, but mostly crime in the face of death. So listen to cadaveric new episodes out on Wednesdays.

[00:47:41]

Listen to cadaver gals on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:47:48]

Are you a music fan? Do you need more music talk in your life? Then you should be listening to record store Society of Music Talk Show podcast on the I Heart Radio Network.

[00:47:56]

Record Store Society is a virtual trip to your local record store hosted by me, Terry Davis and me, Sir Nicholas Johnson.

[00:48:03]

Every Friday you'll find Seth and I behind the counter at your favorite record store, dispensing recommendations, making lists and talking to our customers about anything and everything music related. So listen to Record Store Society on the radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.