Transcribe your podcast
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Hello, friends, you're listening to Shackman annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsay and my husband, Chris Ramsey, who's looking at it as a bit weird because I added friends and my real honestly, I got up like, you know, what a dog.

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He has a noise, but it's not sure. It's just like, look, I was about to do the, you know, in the go. But it's not it's not about the he has to open the door. I was about whatever. I didn't like that at all.

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Well, you are friends. Yeah, but why out of friends?

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Because I wanted to anyway. Listen to Jorgen. He says friends. Does he have friends?

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I haven't. I've never listened to Joe Rogan actually. But I've heard he's very good sexist.

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It's not because he's a man not of murder. And it's for you Rosie.

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Only listen to honestly, I'm currently listening just to advertising on the podcast on.

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Oh well. La la la la la la la.

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I'm doing I'm listening to an ITV documentary of a podcast called No Strings Attached. Listen, when ITV documentary podcast said no one ever gets very good guys, obviously what you were there aren't any of the podcasts. There's just this one. We are the only one in the world. And it's so nice that you choose to listen to the only podcast in the world, which is this one.

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And hey, this one is on it's seventy eight episode. Wow. This is Episode 78.

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We're going to do when we get a hundred.

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Someone said to a video one but I don't know, we could you know you know what it is we could but I don't know what the deal, what our sponsorship deal is, I don't know.

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It would be like we might be allowed. I'm not sure if we're allowed. Let's try and make that happen, because that would be quite cool. Cool to be the drink by then.

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No, when is it all, oh, I don't know, four weeks of Christmas. Yeah, yeah, belligerent by that. Amazing. Yeah, right. OK. In fact, to be OK.

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We all do you think we'll tape podcast maternity leave. Depends because I could do it pregnant hebra olney's. There'd be there'd be aggressive though. Oh yeah.

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Yeah. I mean there's been yeah. We got to get them from we've had every level of you we've had just found out you're pregnant. Can't drink. We had lockdown rules. We've had four p.m. one time ago that we've got a whole lot.

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I know all the emotions so it could be quite funny. What's that film with the balls in the inside out like you're all of the emotions are all for the little do like that. You're never the nice one.

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Excuse, huh?

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Guys, it is before I get told off it is episode seventy eight, as always, thank you so much for liking and subscribe and read it and and please continue to do that. It's so nice to see and love it here.

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And before we go any further, it is obviously time to pay the bills, pay these bills, keep a roof over the head, keep the electricity on with this week's lucrative, lucrative, lucrative sponsor.

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Now, listen, this week sponsor. Right. I I've been in touch with these guys for a while.

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I have been going back and forth trying to make it work, you know, trying to find some time imaginary friend, you know, ballpark figures touching base there. People talk to my people. Yeah. Although one phrases like that that I can't think of off the top of your head, you know, in the shit, shoot the breeze.

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I don't think anyone sees that in an office environment. LinkedIn joining LinkedIn. Yeah.

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Yeah, he makes so not only does he legit saw this this week sponsor guys, it's the long forgotten thing. It's the long forgotten friend. You've all got this thing you've all got. It might be in your drawer now. Yeah. You take it for granted. I'm here to tell you it needs more praise. It needs some love.

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This sponsor is ten aubenas tags.

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Hey. Take it for granted, so you draw you have a chart all the time without one fucking impossible.

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Is this because I was brought this is because I and I just had Augmentin without it fucking nightmare, thankfully.

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So we didn't have one when we had our Bunglawala one story going. Yeah. All right. He wants to why?

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I have one Donau and I got you were like, bramston beans are better so I got brown some beans but you got to open them with the tensioner. Didn't have one. Where did it go.

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Guthridge with a hammer and a screwdriver. I want to take fucking ages. What did I do. Cut me finger. What else did you copy. And you saw me jeans and shoes. It was a nightmare. Honestly try to out on fucking nightmare. Yeah it's horrible.

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But when sorry if you forget how lucky you are. Really. Exactly. I can open up every time you guys.

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I mean I tell you from the guys at Tanabata this is the guys are ten so anyone listen right.

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Every time you use that bad blood you check it's working, you make sure you look after don't put the dishwasher, you break it and wash it. Make sure it's all right. Don't take it for granted. Make sure it's work and make sure you've got a spare. It's the kitchen's on ten aubenas.

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The kitchen's on. So well done. Launches go to my nana. Used to have an electric one wall.

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Someone's doing all right Lordi. I know, I know. Electric one. Oh shit. It was shit. You put it in.

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It would like it would magonet magnetic Iwork. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Oh right.

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Episode one hundred has to be video because what I just saw there. Well, well I just saw that it was so beautiful.

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It was you, you put your hand on flat guys. Right.

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As if she was putting a little dog on the table and she looked at us with genuine terror and fear in her eyes, as she just said, magnetic, magnetic.

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What's the word? What you call magnetize, magnetize magnetic.

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Well, let me anyway, you did it, Unimin.

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It would magnetize to the magnet and don't know that. Well, it was magnetic. It was.

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Yeah. OK.

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And then it would spin on it for you, which I never bothered doing because honestly I'm not this silly in life. Right. It's just when we're getting from this make it my brain.

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No, no, no, no, no. I know it's the longest and whatever, but I'm going to have to I'm going to have to call up. Yesterday we were in IKEA. We were in IKEA yesterday.

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And you stood next to a big, massive, massive box of stone and you look above the box of stuff and hung in the air was one of them like octopus, plastic octopus, things that you put your neck in neck Azanian upon some of the pegs on it.

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No, not the post, you know what I mean? It's got like different arms.

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And you looked up at it and you said, oh, we need one of them. Where do you think they are?

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And you are standing next to a box of I'm not exaggerating. There must have been seven of them in the box.

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And when you Jorgen and you went to each one, I went not that you've asked where they are and what literally. No. What if, like, there were less than a centimetre away from you?

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I think it was lean enough, but you will hold on one at one time, you know.

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Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what's going on anyway. I don't. Yeah. You know, one more thing to say.

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What if you say it properly. Magonet magnetize Jesus, come on, man. Yes, the jingle jingle.

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Oh, it's gonna be a good thing. This week guys had a fight about the jingle jingle we could sing along a jingle, jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle jingle dooby dooby dooby dooby jingle. Hello and welcome back to Shackman. No, it can't believe we are on Episode seven to eat. Yeah, well done. Well done. Very well done. What we've been up to.

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What have you been up to? I did the one show last week, so I was down in London, basically a holiday. I stayed up late, got delivery, signed Ponsoldt a lovely little time, didn't you?

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Yeah, it was like the best bit was I had aircon.

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I didn't mention, I wanted to mention on the one show was a joke but people, people get very upset and emailing, but basically it was hot as anything in London.

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It was like 35 degrees.

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But I had aircon and remember we were we went to sleep but to cool it, I mean, don't say that so that the next day and it was set at that day in the meat and they were all sitting there, they were going Boyland, Alex.

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Plus she was gone. I couldn't sleep. I've had no sleep all gone. And I want you to call if anything at all, like, oh, you're such a dick.

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I could have worn it up.

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I went further so that one of the big bosses, he was sitting there and he went, oh, look, these on my arms.

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And he had like little red marks. He's like, look at these. It's so hot. It's like mosquitoes. Images of these. I've got bites, bites. I want only bites. I'm getting the bloody frostbite aircon.

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Oh, I didn't even know I wouldn't. Even though because it's torture when your heart. Yeah. They're worried you didn't do Alex's accent then.

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I'm a bit upset. I didn't want to know. I like you when you do her accent because you do it really well.

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Sometimes I do, sometimes I ruin it. And this is a recorded medium, you know. I mean, I do. I just do it again if we're in the house. All right. But now you made it sound. I tape make a living. I don't know.

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I just really like her. You like her. She's lovely.

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She's great. Great to work with Taxi to Newcastle Station Taxi Driver. You went and said that you knew was news like what you're to do. And I said, I'm going to go to the ones you even doing with. I went, Oh, so I'll be like the guest host for the week. And Alex Jones is the main host. And he genuinely I was a little bit scared.

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I went, oh, and I thought I was going to say I hate her. The way he said, if I say, Oh, Konstanty went, Oh, I love her voice.

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I was like, OK, then I'm just like, I left you that.

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Anyone know? I do. I love it. I love her voice. Is love the Welsh accent. I listen to her talk for hours.

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Oh it all right. But I don't know what I'm doing.

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I think, I think the Geordie accent in the Welsh accent quite similar because it's like. Singsongy isn't it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean. Yeah. No I mean you know what I mean. Can't even do it.

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There's something was said it was one of the bosses came in and said, all right guys, last minute thing. And Alex was like, oh what the fuck.

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No, it was just oh what the fuck. No, it's just I told how many times was wasted before the watershed. Very, very funny. Got some very, very funny stories that I want to get on a panel show after nine o'clock.

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You hear some great stuff. Yeah, definitely go for it.

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A dub dub, dub dub. But so very sad day on Sunday. One very sad day. Somebody's just gone back. I went out on my bike.

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Oh, is this when you fell off your bike. Get off me by dinner. Fell off me by the first accident.

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You've had your proper first accident. Yeah. Blood running down my leg. People screaming, children crying.

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Do you remember what you blamed? I blamed you and Kyle Hutchinson.

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Well, yeah, because we called you called brings you all the time. Yeah.

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Like it's ridiculous.

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Actually we do a lot. So I realise it's the idea. So I psychopath's Manley's house. I'm the same one. Look at me like, like a like a warrior, like some kind of vikan. Right. I mean it was like you don't keep in touch. And I was like, no I don't, I'm reading me. Mama says I hardly bring her and cousins and stuff I hardly bother with, like I'm just bored to keep in touch it.

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Yet me and Carl will talk for easily half an hour a day every day.

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I think you are like each other's support system.

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Yeah. In life. Yeah, I suppose you know what I mean.

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Will you bring us to tell us when he's done weird stuff and I'll just bury it. I'm done from it. It's kind of like therapy I suppose.

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That's what I'm so basically guys and we were all very concerned. You wanna know what happened. I was going to be by hashtag bigeye and I got a phone call off Rosie asking where something was in the house was potatoes, because you can't look past our arse to go and find something.

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You'd put you put stuff away missing from the Hello Fresh and you put it in all the wrong Kopelson. I'm busy, right. I'm busy. I've got stuff to do. Go, go bike. Stop hitting the microphone. That's not professional.

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So Rosie Rungis and then call Rungis with a stupid window that he was doing where he was pretending that he was basically faked an email. If I told you this, you'd faked an email and sent me an email as if he was another comedian asking if he could set up a gig.

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And me, Gordon, knowing that I'd be like, can you forget about making me God?

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And so he was like, bringing his gun, obviously in the email are forwarded from the comedian. And I was like, watch while he pulled over and look at that. It would have been a good if he hadn't done it himself.

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It was like his own thing. Not so much time. The pricks got him to set up a fake email address, send in as an email, send it to him. Then him forwarded to me saying that a comedian wants to do Kagame Georg's.

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He's heard me gaudens big fucking region, quite impressive Bridgid even more because by the time I read it, I'd already fallen off my bike. So I pulled up onto the curb and went on to the Lamport. And I've got them little clips and pedals when my feet slide in, I can't get them out and go faster. I stuck by a guy because we pedal Rosie when you pedal, ok? OK, don't go. I'm gonna tell you the one, Alex.

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I'll start without the Clipse. Just pedal down your pedal. Stop it.

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Or I'm writing this down. When you do that, I hit it.

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The people want to know.

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I think you the minute you start talking about your bike, I fall asleep.

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So everybody listening is going to be falling because I got said you when fall up instead of that man with a duvet with a bike on sale. And this is your duvet. Yeah. Yeah. And you're about to eat your words here about your body. You have egg on your face because I did fall off my bike and I did scream and I got hurt and walk past and so you OK the day after I went back on my bike. You know why?

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Because you got to get back on your bike, Rosie. You got to get back on your bike. I got back and we went along a dirt path with some horses, went past some some pedestrians stopped to those past as I went past, lady standing there went by guy, I went, That's right.

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And I kept saying, hey, a massive love to the lady, whoever you were who shouted, by golly, that day, hey, it made us go faster than it.

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She said, By God, yes. Yeah. And I thought, you know what I've got I've got a little burst of energy.

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And I pedaled a bit fast to get a little bit harder to detect.

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Your little sickled bike said by going, I just came home.

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Oh, jealous, yabba dabba doo doo. But something quite interesting happened yesterday. I mean, it's interesting. It's not because, you know, life's really boring right now. Nothing very interesting happened.

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But I realized that Robin is is one is one of these kids who is just really grim. Yeah.

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Like a lot of kids are like, oh, look at this.

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And just really innocent. And, you know, it's just not he's not. So he started this thing when you walk along the pavement. And we used to do I'm doing it when I was a kid and he said, you can't you can't stand on the line.

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He can't stand on the line. So we're like going along. And the couple is like in between the lines. And so I told him what I knew from being a kid. And what I remember the scene is what? Torture, crack. And you break your back. Yeah.

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You start talking about your dad.

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Everyone did that. So yeah.

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So I said to Robin, well, Robin, you know, you step on a crack, you break your back and you went to me. You had no money. No, no, you're wrong. You said you touch your line, you're dead.

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Yeah, it's just just. That's it. No, touch a line and you're dead.

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Great. Oh, so maybe did I tell you remember him in the garden yesterday.

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More play the bubble, the bubble wand. I don't know who can buy in these fucking bubble ones man. Right. They just pop up now and then. Yeah. And he always brings them to me when the bubbles are almost completely gone. So I've got to like, fall on scraped the bottom to use the bubbles.

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I've never had a full one in my life because you always think, oh, kids love bubble ones, but you give that to a kid. Robin's getting a little bit older now. Give that to a two or three year old. It all the stuff. So there's nothing left. Well, any I mean.

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Yeah, so we've got the more I got the I managed to get all the bubbles going yesterday and we started a game and I thought this will be like five minutes. We're paying for about twenty five minutes. Right. So I was just doing the big bubbles and then I was like right if the bubble touches the ground or touches the house, the world explodes.

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Right. So why would you do that?

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Because it made them pop really quick as it's going to go throughout the world and explode. Well, well, it yourself world exploded.

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This is why he's a little bit mental. This is why you see stuff like that. Why are you telling the kid that if the bubble touches the ground, the world's going to explode? You pop the ball once terrifying the know that man he popped the bubble were a hey, Rosie, did the world explode?

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No, because you popped all the bubbles.

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Well, I know, but did he sleep all right last night or did he have night terrors worrying about bubbles in the ground? I blame you.

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I always keep thinking and I'm like, why is Robin so just like sees really random things and comes out with such weird things. And I'm thinking it's not me because I read him lovely bedtime stories and I try to keep everything, you know, light hearted and nice.

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It's you. It's you. You ruin him. You know, you don't go near this next one.

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Really, I promise. Robin Now, this is just not wrong, Robin.

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And I don't often do any nappies. Nothing. No getting up the night. You can just have that baby. Just put your let's do an experiment.

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Right. How about I just saw Lee look after this next baby. Right. And then we'll see which one we like better when they turn 18, we'll go. Right. Which one's nicer guarantee it'll be mine.

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But that's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life. If social service are listening, we're not going to do that.

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That is a joke. That is not going to happen. Right.

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Well, Robin used to be all lovely until lockdown. That's been spending too much time with you. You said that, yes. It was really hurtful when you were like, you know, what you like is getting really weird and strange and seeing strange things in it because your home because of lockdown, because you're normally not here.

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Well, I'm sorry, Chris. Right. OK, here's a little lesson for you. Next time you want to play, pop the bubbles, how about you just go. Oh. Quick, you got five seconds to pop the bubbles, Robin wants to know the problems, they got problems there. So this topic, how am I supposed to know when that bubble is five seconds away from the ground?

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How am I supposed to know that let's just not put impending doom on your child's to save the world. Many times he saved the world. Just grottos for a child's confidence. OK, see if the world is too confident.

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That's another thing about and we need to stop telling them it's like, great, because I'll put it out that I've never told me.

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But when I do all the time I was like, you know, you're a superstar. You all look at you great. And so now he just kind of goes on a great. And like I've created a monster, it did put me on the idea, was it you put something on? I was like, don't I look dead cool? I missed it. I was like, you look all right.

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You did that. Every mom when we were when I was in London last week, we had she said it was that she found it random, like old vest in his drawer. And because it was quite hot, you just put a vest on him and he was like, look at me.

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Don't I look cool, Mama?

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The self-congratulatory little shit that oh, hey, go easy.

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Love, love, love, love him. Stop.

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Tell them that I'm not one d e average. He's average. You average at best.

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Try harder Robidoux Babalu Babalu. But it's time for. This is Rosie's mistress, mistress, mistress, mistress, mistress. I couldn't believe that he got it from high school in the. This is good, this airable, you should commission this. Rosie's mistress, mistress, mistress, extremely informative, mistress, mistress, Mr. Brown, never. So we have to start this week's Rosies mysteries with with an apology, unfortunately. So we've had a lot of we've had a lot of phone calls.

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We've had a lot of emails, texts, and, you know, DM's on social media.

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Unfortunately, one of the questions last week was the answer that was given by myself was, you see one of the questions as a massive game show you the only question.

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One hundred percent of your bullshit last week was pure bullshit.

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It was incorrect. And unfortunately for him or her, we have got rid of the the person who gets the questions.

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And those are good.

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So there's none this week. There is one this week toxic.

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And so that was kind of like putting up with this small segment. It on the day that we record it is graphed anyway. But then the fact that I was tweeted almost all weekend, nearly non-stop to people telling us that you'd got it wrong, it was so irritating. I got sent to Screengrab, a fucking Google of friends. Of how many episodes? So many times.

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Well, just to correct it. And the amount of the total amount of friends episodes is not 219 like the present I said last week, it is in fact 236 is distance and that's just two hundred and thirty six episodes.

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Yeah, but can I reveal what you said to me just before this when I said, how did you get that wrong? And you said. The obviously got it wrong in the quiz out of the magazine I stole it from. Yes, but you know what, though? Got everyone thinking, Oh.

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So there you go. You're welcome.

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Maybe they're not always going to be right. All right. But maybe they should work it out. Maybe that's the mystery. But this week's I have researched a couple of times, OK? And the couple that the couple of Google searches I did, the two were the same.

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So fingers crossed about Jesus Christ that this is correct. And are you ready for this week's Rosies mysteries?

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No, but I'm not going to stop you and.

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I've got a timer this week, right? So you've only got 35 seconds to answer the question, do you want the question during the 35 seconds or do you want the full thirty five seconds to answer?

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The fourth, obviously want the fourth voice. OK. And if you've ever seen a game show. OK, so this is this week's mystery, which is just to unfold. The mystery is too close to call.

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Juicy trivia. I'm not changing it. No, I'm trying. I'm not changing it. I like Rosie's mysteries anyway. Christopher.

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True or false, Charlie Chaplin came first in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike competition. I'll say that again.

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True or false, Charlie Chaplin came first in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike competition. Your clock starts now.

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Falsettos third. Do you want any more time? No, we're just going to. I've only just got this. I think it was in Kansas City as well, if I remember. Right. OK, it's going to be we're going to I've got to wait for the full performance. And this is all kind of scenic. So the X Files are being ripped off, so are being ripped off. And now I'm not playing the full thing that I didn't get this right.

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OK, well, come on, Tony.

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If you play the whole thing, you go. So you're going to see if I think you came third. Thought it might be urban myth. That one I've heard as he came third.

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You're right.

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You're right. Yeah, he came third. Yeah, I thought so. But I don't know if that's true.

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Oh well who knows. But I have got a little bit of mystery. In 1975, several years before his death, Chaplin and a look alike contest of himself in France. It is OK. I apologies.

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He probably thought he was a shoo in for the prize and everyone would have a hearty laugh at the end. But then he came, did a theory. Jason Chaplin's eyes probably threw off the judges, since those baby blues couldn't be seen in black and white. Wow. So he's got blue eyes in real life. But obviously when you watch it back in the day in black and white, they would they wouldn't recognize him. And it's gotten a little bit.

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So I like to really give a lot. Yes. Well, what is the amount of terribleness last week? You know, they give him that. You give them a bit of a bit of content each week. So well done.

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But Chaplin isn't the only celebrity to have lost a lookalike contest of themselves to an imposter. The one and only Dolly Parton wanderlust lost a drag queen competition of her likeness. Wow. So I'm guessing it was her.

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No, the drag queens. And she didn't win. Wow. Who looks more like Dolly Parton? Wow. Look amazing. Wasn't there a thing on the telly where Adele and Nadal was just going to say that's all that.

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Yes. Could have look alikes. Yeah. And she didn't win. But then when she started singing, I was like, yeah, I remember I remember that they put it on though like like the voice over what I was like.

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And now she's in the you know, she's she's in the mix with all of them and no one's got a clue that she's Adele.

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And like literally the first fucking thing, whatever other people said was, are you really if you look really like, you know, I'm not into all right, then it doesn't count when you have to go.

[00:24:51]

Like when you go, look, this isn't a window. I promise. This is the window. I promise. I promise. I promise was a window. That's fucking bullshit. That's what I called it. I mean, without email, you can't do that. You can't go. No, I'm definitely not a da da da da da da like it.

[00:25:03]

I enjoyed that show, but I wasn't really like Adele. So there you go. But it was amazing. But yeah. Ah you were. No. All right then you are positive. OK then guess what, I'm her. Oh I had no clue. No you didn't have a clue did you know. I did. I fucking said it right at the beginning.

[00:25:16]

You can give us no thank you for listening to this week's Rosies Mysteries. I'll be back next week with them. Lots, lots more informative mysteries.

[00:25:28]

Mystery.

[00:25:29]

Stop saying there's nothing mysterious about it, apart from the fact that sometimes you get it fucking wrong.

[00:25:33]

You've got to wait a week to actually the third time I've done. I got it wrong. Can you believe that? Shocking Abdu ba ba ba ba ba it's time for what you beat, what's your beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh.

[00:25:47]

However, I have got a repetitive beef this week while repetitive beef. I've done this before. You haven't learned from your mistakes.

[00:25:56]

Oh that's interesting because I think mine might be a tick back now y'all is beef as well. Possibly. Yeah. So different. A different version but it's definitely got realms of the past in it.

[00:26:05]

OK, well obviously now I am with child, but you're pregnant 19 weeks up.

[00:26:14]

Oh, you didn't win it. All right. OK.

[00:26:17]

OK, well let's talk about that, because what keeps happening currently is you asking me every 30 to 40 minutes if I'm all right.

[00:26:29]

Look, you know, this is me thing I've done. Oh, yeah. It's absolutely tedious. Last night in bed, I've put a pillow in between my legs. I'm at that stage and eat by a proper pregnancy pillow. But just remind us remind us to throw that out and it when you know why?

[00:26:44]

Because it's been in between your legs. So I put a pillow in between my legs and last night I just turned over in the middle of the night, you know. You know, because people sometimes tune in bed, believe it or not.

[00:26:56]

Chris, no way you're all right.

[00:27:00]

I've only I've only just remember that as you've said it, there wasn't any sleep. I was awake.

[00:27:05]

You woke Rosie. You I woke you up. You woke me up. You said you normally turned over the rustling of the. She said that you're putting a fucking tent up. It was the most shit and duvet noise I've ever heard in my life. I thought it fell out of the bed. It was crazy.

[00:27:19]

So what are you all right? What do you mean it's not a duvet?

[00:27:22]

Yes, I see it really panicked. And it gets me it's like, oh, oh, you all right?

[00:27:29]

Because I'm asleep. I'm fine. I'm asleep. And I've been walking by a lot of duvet noise. How fucking noisy do you have to how can you make so much noise with the duvet? How is that possible?

[00:27:38]

Well, you know what, though, honestly, next time next time you ask, I've got a little baby doll downstairs, I'm going to have that baby doll beside the bed. I'm going to cover it and catch up, and I'm just going to turn you go.

[00:27:50]

Oh, I thought the big stuff, but that is the Christmas thing. That's horrible. And a light in the middle of work.

[00:27:59]

I'm going to go stop asking me if I'm OK. Actually looking down, it's disgusting, but the bed and I dropped it in some chips.

[00:28:10]

Horrible. Don't ever do that to me. I'd have to put the, you know, that horrible little bit of Scaramella they get on the head, the white stuff. Stop it.

[00:28:18]

I was like, I'm going to I think the initial firstly I smell ketchup, right? Yeah.

[00:28:24]

You wouldn't have to go. I'm not going to like, pick it up. I'm not going to turn the light on and be like it's just not breathing. And it seems to be made of plastic and fabric. Like, I'm going to realize immediately that is Pollock and you've told us about it now. So I'm going to be like welfare.

[00:28:35]

Oh shit. You OK? You'll forget I'll wait a few weeks. Remember this. I'll take this to me grave anyway.

[00:28:40]

Stop asking if I'm OK. I'm fine. Listen. I will never, I will never and I'm asking the baby as well and more, because the one time I do ask you might not be fine when you know what you're like as well.

[00:28:50]

The one time I don't ask you, you go like, oh, you go like I'll make some noise and I'll not say anything.

[00:28:56]

Then you go, you don't get it. You're not going to check on us. I'm pregnant. You see what's happening. Yeah. You know, if you have a nose are just mad. But I'm sorry to breathe. I'm with child. I'm not mad about you. You got to watch. Why not ask asking how I am. Because you tell yourself every time I go this time. No, I don't.

[00:29:10]

But it's the way you're OK.

[00:29:12]

Why don't you ask them something more specific. How all like how how's your boobs feeling in the debate.

[00:29:19]

But how do you know what I mean.

[00:29:21]

That's not a question I'll ever be not going out there. Just just get your head. How is your discharge? Is it only because that's what happens when you're having a baby or fall? Do you?

[00:29:31]

Sometimes I'm not at that point yet you get some of the forded Smellie down with them. Oh, again, I'll burn the middle. But another thing that you did save the pregnancy was just today. Actually, it's quite fresh in my mind. You said I just keep forgetting that you pregnant.

[00:29:51]

And it must be a lovely feeling. Must be absolutely wonderful to just so I. I was like about Immortal's. I shouldn't have said that basically. I don't know, it's just because Sackman, because, well, no, no, sorry, I didn't I was just going to say the reason I think you it doesn't feel is really you will want because you're not going to be inside you, but you couldn't come to this gun or anything.

[00:30:15]

Yeah.

[00:30:15]

So it's not I've been handed a picture, but you could just be put in a lockdown. Wait on give me pictures of people.

[00:30:21]

People. So let's see. You could just be not in the take away is it. Right.

[00:30:26]

Just hogging the takeaways isn't getting the best out when you get the you know they feel like ill but a man and you got your own, you got the gun. Just get actual picture for me. I'll just give it a I mean it's in the name.

[00:30:37]

I can remember how this is, how much I forget about it. I can remember the other day my friend phoned to ask what we're doing for New Year and started making all the plans for New Year. And I was like, oh definitely. I rosia definitely up for that. You're like, well, I'm due on the 6th of January, so fucking no. I went, Oh, she forgot she's pregnant. Sorry mate.

[00:30:54]

What kind of do that by you just planning a whole life out with one child. Oh okay.

[00:31:01]

Sorry about that. But look, are you okay. Oh my beef with you this week is right and I think I've mentioned something along these lines before, but you're doing it again now.

[00:31:13]

And if I haven't mentioned it, you don't for the first time. You do. You've done this before. You do it again. You did it yesterday and you did a couple weeks ago. You do it a couple of times a week.

[00:31:22]

When I'm around, you keep telling me to tell you to make sure you do your exercise later in the day.

[00:31:33]

So if that doesn't make sense, Dallas, now, what happens is your technical quest.

[00:31:37]

Make sure tonight I do my walk and just make sure, look, whatever I say, you just make sure do me walk right about time.

[00:31:49]

Just say it was Roosevelt.

[00:31:50]

Don't you walk in and I'll see. I haven't just Ceruzzi. Do your walk if you want to.

[00:31:55]

I walk in is basically on Instagram.

[00:31:58]

I'm not sure you put the laptop in front of an on the, on the, on the, on the island. In the kitchen and she watches what I can only assume is some kind of 9d.

[00:32:08]

It's like this 9D American woman doing so basically any film or TV series you've seen where they go to suburbia and suburbia is about to be ruined.

[00:32:17]

Hence the dude and the dude.

[00:32:18]

Breaking Bad when when you see where Jesse Pinkman lives and you see, oh, actually this drug dealer, but he lives in this lovely suburban place with this massive house and his aunt's house or whatever, and they've always got them.

[00:32:28]

Two women in the sweatbands, Powerwall and Pascaline.

[00:32:31]

Oh, my God. He said, oh, my God, that I got to pick the kids up from soccer and they power walk us down the road. You basically watch a YouTube version of a lot of twats, do enough and do that.

[00:32:43]

Can you feel a burn, ladies? Yeah. Yeah. Can you feel it like literally a couple of rooms away. It sounds like porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. It's fucking horrible.

[00:32:53]

So she does that and it's a nightmare when she's doing.

[00:32:56]

It's horrible. You've got to leave the room. It's the loudest, most penetrating thing ever.

[00:32:59]

But yeah, a new thing is make sure do me walk and and then I go to you later in the day I go, okay I'll go for this because I'm an idiot. I'll never learn. Rosie Estonia walking.

[00:33:08]

Oh Chris, I'm pregnant, but I'm not going to my child. You know what it's like. I'm tired. I didn't sleep. I got a pillow between my legs. Bother to do me what you told us.

[00:33:19]

You said it was. Ask it. Make sure you've done your order. Don't leave it alone. But honestly, it's entrapment.

[00:33:27]

It's a nightmare. I hate it. Stop doing it. Well, OK, stop asking it then.

[00:33:32]

You know, because I feel I'm riddled with guilt. Can you admit now that you genuinely tell me earlier in the day to ask you? You genuinely do everything I've just said they're true.

[00:33:46]

Yes. Yes. Oh, sorry.

[00:33:49]

I know because I think because at the time of the day I think, oh, I won't mind when you ask, I guess what I can do it then when you've got to get up and go to actually do it, do it then instead of putting it with me and then making me tell you that I ought to get showed and I going to be honest to God, I've got to make a case about why the plan was.

[00:34:09]

You told us to ask why. Sick of you don't ask anymore. No, I won't. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.

[00:34:23]

You Babalu Babalu baths. Dooby dooby, dooby dooby. It's time for questions from the public, from the public public, bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup bup.

[00:34:36]

It's always at this point in recording the podcast that we're both just basically looking at sitting in with Michael. And I just have like an out of body experience of the fact that we're just sitting with massive headphones on in our kitchen with microphones and it's their job. And we're going up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

[00:34:50]

Like a couple of them would be like like children on Talk Boy from home alone to make a radio station in the bedroom, you know.

[00:34:58]

Excuse me. Excuse me, Crystal. You know that I had a radio show when I was younger. I had one as well.

[00:35:04]

And this one isn't this this one. What we're doing now isn't far from mine. A bit more thought noises in the first one I did and stuff.

[00:35:10]

But this one's almost exactly the same as mine was pretty good I've talked about before. I mean, actually little. We actually used to pretend to call in and one time somebody was jumping off a bridge and the running joke.

[00:35:21]

I mean, I know it's really great, isn't it. So groomed.

[00:35:26]

It's strange where your mind goes 11, somebody running and they're going to jump off a bridge talking about actually running. Right.

[00:35:32]

She was going to talk to anyone. Think that that was real for any moment. Wow.

[00:35:38]

I know. Intent informative, though. I mean, she's just crazy. But now we've got a successful show of our own. It's great.

[00:35:47]

We'll go as always, guys, as a nice Segway. It won't be successful. It wasn't for you, for people. So please continue to email in all of your stuff. We absolutely love it. Annoyed Gmail dot com and obviously I mentioned before, but like written subscribe and all that stuff.

[00:36:00]

Yeah, I got some little question. I've got a week off this week. I'm just getting the questions as a little present. It's so nice. Well, here we go.

[00:36:07]

Hello, Rosie and Chris. Hello. As I'm writing this, it's maybe 15 minutes after I had a kind of strange job interview me.

[00:36:17]

It was on Zune for a start, which is the most impressive thing in the world. It is. It is.

[00:36:23]

But when I'm going to die, I think we're going to find out that this whole thing was a zoo marketing campaign.

[00:36:29]

Do you think maybe it's part Microsoft founder Bill Gates getting it?

[00:36:34]

I don't think so, because I stress mysteries, you know, because I never, ever was a fan of conspiracy theories until I was made to live in my house and not leave.

[00:36:45]

And now I'm like, well, what's going on right with the aliens? What's going on? Why is this happening?

[00:36:52]

So now I believe we've all kind of bullshit too much time on my hands. Exactly.

[00:36:57]

So she's just had a zoom interview. Yeah, but we had one of the bits of the interview was we all had to pick a famous person we could talk about at length. And I picked Rosie. She picked me.

[00:37:08]

Oh, no, sorry. So it was a group job, interviews, a group. Sounds like it was a job interview. They had to pick a famous person, which I didn't think I was famous. But that's quite cool, Rosie. So sorry, Chris.

[00:37:20]

Then the next thing I know, I had to defend Rosie's life when they said we were split into groups of four and had to choose to of the famous people to stay in a life raft while the other two had to be thrown overboard, die in shark infested waters.

[00:37:37]

Sorry, what was your job interview for? This is exactly what happens when I read deafness. Wait, what kind of job interview with this subway.

[00:37:49]

Other lifeguard, a lifeguard on an Australian beach, going in their direction, interviewing to be an assassin and the only murder and famous people maybe who knows?

[00:38:04]

So, so love again to delay. The next thing I know, I had to defend Rosie's life when they said we were split into groups of four and had to choose two of the famous people to stay in a life raft while the other two had to be thrown overboard, die in shark infested waters.

[00:38:23]

But yeah, I did my best, but my my cut out so I couldn't defend Motch. So I'm afraid Rosie died. Oh.

[00:38:30]

So like cut out so she couldn't defend us. Wow.

[00:38:33]

I'm guessing the tactic for the people from Subway was it's not subway, but I'm just sorry.

[00:38:41]

I don't know whether it was like it might be an op. This could be quite a high job with that. You've got to like it like sales bullshit, like upselling and negotiate and then.

[00:38:52]

Yeah, yeah. Sort of. Yeah, yeah. Like what NLP stuff like like convincing people for. Yeah. Wow.

[00:39:00]

Must be like that. And I remember when we went to job interviews and it was can you sell me this pen.

[00:39:05]

Thankfully I never had that one. Did you know. Never ever had the pen. I don't know how we do it. How do I hate it.

[00:39:11]

Yeah me too. But I had a job interview for the teacher which I got, and I worked there for like two years.

[00:39:17]

We'll talk about that in the book. We do. Very jealous. You talk about at length and I'm very jealous. I would have got a job. Well, for the job interview for that. Sorry. Can you just tell them what you did was. Got to stand at the front playing with the helicopters, and so I played with the helicopters and I was the one who stood in the sumo suit, all the big inflatable things you stood in that I stood in that.

[00:39:36]

Goodness me, always good fun when the lad. But it's not the night before.

[00:39:41]

I was out shopping the next day and walked past, we got to just thinking, what the hell did I do.

[00:39:53]

How pissed was I last night.

[00:39:55]

Should not be so bad. I love that job. So good. So jealous. In the interview we had to juggle. Great. We had to sing on the cover. Oh I loved it. I mean obviously and we had to draw a picture of what we thought a life would be in five years time.

[00:40:13]

Right. Wow. Yeah.

[00:40:15]

So it was just you in shark infested water dead? No, I tried to be a little bit funny, so I was on stage eating pies, eating pies because I love performing. I wanted to be on stage, but I also really liked pies. Wow. So that was my picture.

[00:40:31]

Do wow. And that was it. And I got the job and I had a lovely time there. Yeah.

[00:40:36]

So so we've got no idea what this person's job is for new ideas they haven't said, which is really it's from Lucy. So Lucy, if you want to email back, just to let us know what the job was for and whether you actually got it. I mean, I've died. Beauchesne she probably wouldn't go to those. Yanda defended Monov.

[00:40:53]

Well, so sorry. So that's all right.

[00:40:55]

Worst lifeguard slash person, Greg Superway, ever, Robidoux, Babalu, Babalu, lovely little one here.

[00:41:02]

Do you have Chris and Rosie? I'm at work and something got me thinking when I am typing, if I want to put a capital letter, I will press the Caps Lock's button on and off for the individual letter.

[00:41:14]

Whereas I have noticed other people press the shift button. What do you do and who is right? Wow, OK. So they press every time they do a capital letter cut off rather than just holding it.

[00:41:27]

What do you do?

[00:41:28]

Hold on. Hold shift as well. So this is weird.

[00:41:30]

I've just remembered something. I've never told you this. So when I first got a computer I was doing and I think the history project has something for school.

[00:41:38]

So basically we were of the generation where I sort of became a thing like while we were in the comp kind of thing, having a computer at home, my mom was a touch type so she could type just goes green.

[00:41:51]

Yeah, yeah. But she had like a job or whatever it was to do. So I remember when I had something to do, my mom would help us. I my mom would sit at the computer and I would tell her it's like a type, but just not as fast as me.

[00:42:03]

Mom. Problem. That's not the case anymore, obviously. But, you know, at the time and I remember she wasn't aware of backspace.

[00:42:13]

So, you know, backspace, delete, delete. So if you write Rosie or Oluseyi, so spell your name yet.

[00:42:21]

Well done. School photo, right. And then you want to delete it and go back.

[00:42:25]

Backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace. I remember getting so annoyed because my mom would delete words.

[00:42:30]

Right, because I robock delete are robock delete Arawak so she'd go should bring the cursor behind each were each letter and then it would take a it would be to delete a five letter words after press ten keys fucking furious.

[00:42:43]

And it was so annoying.

[00:42:45]

And by the end of it anymore ok and it's not nasty but I was like two things to say about that one.

[00:42:50]

Yeah. Should your mom have been helping you really with your homework, typing it out for you. Right.

[00:42:56]

Well, I was doing all the thinking she was just doing still right though. Don't you be contacting the teacher support and get me GCSE?

[00:43:03]

Well, I won't. I mean, you'd be screwed now anyway, right? Because that's a different subject altogether.

[00:43:08]

I predicted grades were terrible, so I'd be. Got it.

[00:43:12]

Chris, I got predicted on graded for my GCSE maths. Quite right. So I know.

[00:43:16]

But if, if this had been what happened and now the malarky around the country with exam grades ought to be knackered. I want to go to college.

[00:43:25]

I got a D while at GCSE Jesus. But I only got into college because I had to reset my GCSE, which I was gutted about because I was like, I've scraped this day and I'm having to do it again.

[00:43:36]

And what time I left college.

[00:43:39]

Oh right. They got to shop. Was calling me. Yep, yep. Full time.

[00:43:44]

Six hundred pound a month. I was absolutely Lengyel left college.

[00:43:49]

What was the other thing you wanted. Well what was the other thing you want to see. Said two things. One should you be doing it was that one. I can't believe your mom can touch that because I've seen her on a phone and it's awful.

[00:44:03]

But new information to me is to touch type thing because she is your mom and dad are the most non technological people in the world. My 83 year old nanny. Yeah. Is better at social media for just everything than your mom and dad. And God love them. Absolutely adore them. But they let themselves down.

[00:44:25]

I genuinely don't think my mom knows that it's a real keyboard layout on the phone. You know, you don't have an actual keyboard layout. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think she knows it's a keyboard player. I think she just thinks that. Let us there.

[00:44:35]

I guarantee you, if I said, oh, you know, they're exactly the same as a keyboard available, either you should put it down and you look in the matrix. Abida Babalu, Babalu.

[00:44:46]

But here's one for you. Hi, Moseying Chris. I'm a little behind currently listening to Episode 46 Only Discovered podcast last month. Wow. Welcome to The Wonderful World of Podcasts.

[00:44:57]

Welcome to Party Pearl. You're going to enjoy it a couple of times. You have had stories questioned about weddings. I think in the last one, the mother in law wore the same dress as the bride. Remember that?

[00:45:08]

Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. So I thought I would share my story with you and see what you think. I've been married twice to protect the not always that innocent. Let's call the two lucky men, Bill and Ben.

[00:45:20]

Oh, oh. We need wedding one.

[00:45:26]

Wow. My mom and dad met his mom and dad the night before the wedding.

[00:45:30]

I just say I hope you called it by the time.

[00:45:34]

Welcome to my first wedding. My first wedding. Welcome to wedding.

[00:45:38]

One single's already been commissioned. They were never going to be lifelong friends, but it was fine. So what went wrong on the day?

[00:45:50]

Here's a list. No, No. One. My mom and mother in law wore exactly the same outfit.

[00:45:56]

Wow. Yeah. Wow. I did that. Well, it had met each other. We wouldn't have spoke about got No. Two. When we went into the church, the sun was shining. When we said I do, there was a huge clap of thunder.

[00:46:09]

Fantastic. Never good. Great. Number three, sitting in the back of the limo with my dad on the way at the church, I was thinking, what the fuck am I doing? Why on earth in memory in this guy. Wow. There we go.

[00:46:18]

That's so that's why when no one practice wearing practice, wedding number four, you're going to like this.

[00:46:27]

When I arrived at the church, I was immediately disappointed that the usher I had two weeks before wasn't the Jesus.

[00:46:36]

It was never going to be a marriage made in heaven.

[00:46:38]

Wow. So one of his Mattituck two, which pretend she was good at when she got when she got the older. We've all been there. Yeah. We've all got to the altar.

[00:46:46]

And I went in the way is the person I talked to two weeks ago and put it well you know.

[00:46:52]

Yeah. We all know that feeling of devastation. I mean, you have been there myself. Yeah.

[00:46:56]

Obviously I'm joking. I imagine.

[00:47:01]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know who's at fault. There is my only thing. I mean. Well, I don't know if I can be on her side after she said that. Oh no. I mean, what if it's like she might be. Yeah. But you know, at the time of Phoenix you might be a bit of a dick. That practice was not around when I was there. I thought like, oh, I'm feeling sorry for my husband.

[00:47:19]

Here is all I can say. I can't be laughing at this one. Carry on.

[00:47:22]

But on the day, you know, everyone says now that I think people get married, get back in the day they were marrying just for fun for the crowd, just for like, oh, we've been together for a few years.

[00:47:32]

We should probably just get married.

[00:47:33]

Jesus fun and games. So on the wedding number two, you can decide which is worse, a much smaller occasion. Just 20 of us sat around one big table, shocked everyone else.

[00:47:44]

I had another ten days to go.

[00:47:47]

And I had I had since worked my way through all of the bride and groom party. So we had twenty close people who were blood relatives who I hadn't managed to have intercourse, but and my dad stood to do his speech.

[00:48:01]

He started by thanking everyone, blah, blah, blah, and explained that his speech was based around our family tree. He then said, Before I continue, the main reason I'm standing here, of course, is to welcome Ben to our family. Oh, lovely. Except that Ben was my first husband there.

[00:48:18]

Bad shit that Ben and Ben, everyone stop dead.

[00:48:24]

Everyone looks so uncomfortable except for my dad, who had no idea.

[00:48:29]

He continued with his speech and then again reiterated that you wanted to welcome Ben to Gaza.

[00:48:36]

I take the Rachel. Good God, everyone froze except for the odd nervous giggle. Then he raised his glass to Ben and I fucking doubled down on me. I, I stopped him then said, it's build up.

[00:48:51]

Wow. Wow. Yeah, but. Everyone laugh with relief, but needless to say, my dad was mortified, however much less destructive than the first. We've been married for 22 years this year.

[00:49:03]

Oh, well done. I'm not crying. I'm not clapping here. Well, don't shock someone two weeks before your second with the talk, your dad.

[00:49:13]

I just see I fear the people who get married again because I don't think. I don't think. I don't think I would.

[00:49:21]

I don't think I'd be bothered. Well, I mean, I should hope not.

[00:49:24]

I mean, like, I just want God to have this big mad thing again, because I'm going to be living with this person and we've done it.

[00:49:30]

Christine will do it like some people have been married four times to a point where you go, stop it now. Yeah, that's enough. Come on.

[00:49:37]

Come on. You got an awful lot to holidays. There's not really a dog. Jesus, just go away for the weekend.

[00:49:43]

I just. I don't understand. I can. Do you know what it is? I can understand people getting married twice. I can't because I think if you've done it wrong the first time, if you've been young or whatever, I do think that you can meet other partners in life and really be right. This is my soul type thing. But I think when you get into the third, fourth, fifth time, you just need you've got a problem.

[00:50:06]

There's no but there's some sort of issue there where you can't be with someone unless you've got that bit of paper.

[00:50:12]

And I think it's an expensive it's an expensive jaunt. And I think it's a bit silly. I think I'm not judging him.

[00:50:18]

I got married as many times as you want. But if you're my friend or family and you're on your fourth one and it's on a weekday and it's abroad and you want a present, don't invite this.

[00:50:27]

No, I know. I'll not be coming along. Take your fucking church of lies.

[00:50:31]

Thank you very much. Could you take it seriously? My best mate was the altar for the fifth time and I'll be Rosie.

[00:50:40]

If one of my best mates was at the altar for the fifth time, I'd have made so many jokes during the ceremony.

[00:50:45]

The third and fourth times I wouldn't be at the fifth one. He wouldn't be invited back.

[00:50:49]

I'd be heckling them to love and to cherish from this day forth.

[00:50:53]

How long were still the time?

[00:50:56]

I know I said that before I'd be banned, I'd be banned.

[00:51:04]

All of a sudden, hey, plenty time, we could still go into the next marriages yet, not mainly because I can't be asked to redo the artwork for the podcast. True, Abdu, ba ba ba ba ba deros increase unpure unwitting baby who hopefully won't be scarred from hearing all these stories Fairpoint. I never thought about that. You see, Robin never going to listen to this because we'll never learn.

[00:51:28]

But the baby the poor baby is here and everything is not this.

[00:51:33]

This, this brings overall this down as a beef, but it's not big enough to be a beef. But I'm going to bring it in now, and it is wonderful.

[00:51:39]

So we never again, never really think of it sort of being here, here kind of thing. But obviously it's in your stomach.

[00:51:44]

It's very much you're aware of it all time, stomach, room, whatever, whatever in in also let the baby live in Kirrily.

[00:51:53]

It's where you were born from now.

[00:51:56]

We went on our 25th.

[00:51:58]

What none of us 25th anniversary on our wedding anniversary oh 25th of July. I flew that 25th of July. It feels like a of all right.

[00:52:07]

But on the twenty four Christ on the 25th of July we went to house a big shout, by the way, Kaniuk Sensitizer Newcastle Restaurant.

[00:52:14]

We went there as a lovely treat for our wedding anniversary.

[00:52:18]

And during the meal I wrote it down before we went to the bathroom.

[00:52:21]

But during the meal you said to me, because your brain is all over the place and the minute you're a maniac, you said to me, do you not feel guilty that one of our children here and the other one isn't remember the stupidest thing anyone's ever said?

[00:52:36]

Why?

[00:52:37]

Because I text my mom and say, I think Robin's mom's not Texases you because you're going to bed. Okay? She said, Jan, to you not feel guilty that what Tooch just told me, that one of our children's he and the other one isn't as bad is your Chris.

[00:52:48]

She's pregnant. So we know that weird thing to see parent. It messes you up like I genuinely felt bad for Robin because he was missing out on the woman who made Chern, but the ban was the baby in the stomach was extreme.

[00:53:02]

Can you imagine Robin in a Michelin star restaurant. Oh the worst awful world.

[00:53:06]

I'd give him the wine course just to show them.

[00:53:13]

Oh, OK. Please keep me anonymous as I'm ashamed to be married to such a minga fantastic little bit me in this article, you know, my husband just got a new job working from home.

[00:53:26]

He's doing so in the past and has had his office chair for about five years. OK, with the new job, I decided to give his office a little makeover, so I ordered a new desk chair, paint, etc.. That's really sweet, isn't it?

[00:53:38]

Mm hmm.

[00:53:40]

No, no, no, no, no.

[00:53:41]

We put his old chair up for sale and someone snapped it up. I thought I better give it a quick and be back before it goes.

[00:53:48]

You know, covid my good, sensible cleaning away.

[00:53:53]

I looked underneath the chair and there, to my horror, was five years worth of wiped.

[00:54:00]

Boogie's no way. I thought you're going to be chewing gum. That dirty sod, filthy, dirty soja big ones, small ones.

[00:54:09]

Some as big as your head. Oh, millions of them. He was in a meeting and the guy was picking it up soon so I had to hose down the vomit and get it all cleaned off. Oh, never in the world. Bless you. Yeah.

[00:54:23]

I can't look at my husband the same and I'm purchasing a box of tissues for the office immediately. Oh God. Surely that this is what always astonishes me about questions like this, right. Should the not company age in life where you stop doing stuff like that? WEIPING Yeah. It's not on stuff.

[00:54:41]

Yeah. Just is not a time in life. I used to watching under tables and stuff but I wouldn't do it now. Yeah.

[00:54:47]

Do you know what I mean. There's gonna come a time when you go that's not very nice is it.

[00:54:52]

You know, like I used to put my feet up on the Metro. I don't do that anymore because someone else has got to sit on there. And as an adult, you go, well, that's a bit wrong. I wouldn't want to sit where someone's at the feet.

[00:55:02]

Well, it's getting courtesy and it's thoughtful. Others, it's just wipe all. He's not in his chair. Oh, I know.

[00:55:09]

But come on, listen, I'm not sticking up for me. All I'm saying is that's his chair. It's no, he's not doing it on the family sofa. He's not doing on the toilet seat under the toilet rim that his chair are still Crace.

[00:55:21]

It's in his house where his family lives.

[00:55:23]

I'll tell you right now, it's not the worst thing. He doesn't. Not you. As a man, I'm telling you, it's not the worst thing it does. And I'll tell you what, then tissues are going to go down so quick, you're going to think he's picking his nose, Chris. No, that's why he doesn't want tissues, anything. That's why I'm telling you right now, the poor man has been victimized here.

[00:55:39]

He's got to wipe you snot under there. Right? Because if you add any man, if you put tissues next to your computer, anyone sees goes, oh, uh oh, poor bloke.

[00:55:48]

It's got to be on the bottom of his chair. I don't I don't feel sorry I did a full 180 on there. I feel bad for him. Oh, great. Well, you have you buy his chairwomen. Well, it's not just in Abida Babalu, Babalu, but do you want something a bit gross?

[00:56:04]

Always. OK. Right. Oh, OK, I'm excited. Hey, Ramsey's high. I know this is going to be caused by the informal hey, not hello or not, dear, hey, hey, hey, you're receiving this email because your most recent lucrative, lucrative sponsor reminded me of a lad I lived with a university, and by reading it, I cannot remember which lucrative sponsor it was. OK, I'll try and I'll try my flannels.

[00:56:33]

They don't flannels. Yeah, red flannels last night.

[00:56:36]

All right. OK, this might be if you don't remember flannels.

[00:56:39]

No idea from last week. I only remember when the non-existent check goes into my bank.

[00:56:44]

Yeah, well it wasn't Peter Viles.

[00:56:46]

But imagine you go to work every day as long you go when you get paid in front of you all still warm.

[00:56:57]

Oh oh. You'd be slightly damp, slightly warm flannels.

[00:57:00]

Marciano's much. And if that was the currency of the world wide flat.

[00:57:05]

But Jeff Bezos walking with a beach towel.

[00:57:08]

Look at him. Not all his money has flannel on it.

[00:57:16]

So the lucrative sponsor of what we think is fair minded and excitable minded have a lot to live with a university.

[00:57:23]

OK, after some time of living together, I noticed that he always kept a glass of water next to his bed. Now, wrong with that, you might see quite sensible if you are ready.

[00:57:34]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah I right.

[00:57:35]

I agree with you. If it wasn't for one thing that glass and the water contained within looked filthy.

[00:57:42]

Oh the glass had water marks around the top edge in the water, had a layer of dirt just resting upon its surface.

[00:57:50]

Yeah. First thought is previously taken a glass of water to bed. I'd forgotten about it or simply can't be bothered with returning it to the kitchen. Seems logical but should I remind him to clean it. So she's saying yes. I didn't mention it for a while. Think and it's not really any of my concern, but I couldn't help feeling repulsed by it if I entered his room or caught a glimpse through his open door.

[00:58:14]

So this glass of water is just on the side of his bed. Oh, you disgusting people minging.

[00:58:19]

Oh, Chris. This is going to blow your mind, really? Oh, it gets worse. Yes. I'm already disgusted. There's been a glass there for that long. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:58:30]

Sometimes the film of surface scum would be floating down in the water as though recently disturbed, and the glass would occasionally have moved on his bedside table. So it was obvious he hadn't forgotten about it. Why then had he not emptied and wash this glass?

[00:58:45]

This absolutely like she's she's writing a documentary about this film.

[00:58:51]

She is consumed by this glass of water. So it's going on.

[00:58:56]

I mean, it's been disturbed because I guess it could have just been people leave glasses. You know, I want to point out the lad who had Moggs along these along his windowsill just there for a week.

[00:59:06]

And so I try to ignore it, but eventually my revulsion and curiosity got the better of me. I agree, it was amazing what really amazing, like magnetised, but better McGinity Magnini, I dare to ask why he kept his micro habitat wordsmith his words.

[00:59:31]

I live within a glass next to his bed.

[00:59:35]

His response still puzzles and disgusts me to this day.

[00:59:40]

He explained that this was not drinking water or no quite matter of factly and with no hint of embarrassment. He told me that this was his car wash.

[00:59:55]

What the fuck, sorry.

[00:59:59]

Yeah, so, you know, you're joking, having clearly noticed the perplexed look on my face, he went on to tell me that following sexual activity, he dips his penis into the dance floor.

[01:00:17]

No, no.

[01:00:19]

Gives it a swirl, then dries it off with the flannel that was hung on his radio.

[01:00:25]

No, consistent with that system.

[01:00:29]

Awful in it that I can't believe it. Yeah, there's more here. Leave it.

[01:00:36]

So, yes, you could not have been more correct when you said that hotel flannel should not be twisted. Some people have very odd, revolting habits. My old housemate would, however, disagree.

[01:00:46]

He insisted that this was perfectly normal behavior and implied that I was odd for not cleaning my penis in this way. Showers are apparently overrated.

[01:00:55]

Oh, this is from a meal. I can I can literally you know, you don't call commercial.

[01:01:04]

You don't go. You don't go.

[01:01:05]

Steve has got to go. I got to go at the car wash. In the car wash. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:01:19]

Well, I didn't realize that was a male.

[01:01:23]

I thought this was a female. Yeah. The how the proportion of a female. Well you would be repulsed. Yeah. This is me. This is me.

[01:01:30]

Oh my God.

[01:01:32]

The wash just got clean open and then just funnels it off with a dirty flannel and dirty but the same water.

[01:01:39]

What a couple of questions and. What if he spilled some of it? What does he do? Probably the. Just answer them yourself. Did he ever clean the flannel? The same water, same flannel? Was it the same girl?

[01:01:54]

Oh, I hope so. Are that an infection? Well, that's a that's a glass of. Yeah. Final question, Rosie. How big was the glass?

[01:02:05]

Oh, all this. In case you're wondering, it was a pint glass pint glass of champagne glass.

[01:02:12]

OK, so final question. Yeah. How much to drink it.

[01:02:15]

Oh I'm like, oh about about what.

[01:02:20]

A big pile of flannels out and OK, if it's there to the glass water the right way, there's no actual full on bits of stuff in it, but it's just, you know, it's just as that person's described.

[01:02:32]

If I just walk out now.

[01:02:34]

US off, then 50 grand, just in a pile of cash, no tax, nothing straight out, you saying, OK, well, my thing is it might be a Penglase, but if that was the room of water, when he put this thing in, it would spill over some of its half, about three quarters of a point fifty grand cash or 50 grand.

[01:02:51]

Now, do you know what? This time last year, I said, no, no. How ironic that a global pandemic has made you consider drink in this water.

[01:03:02]

It's crazy all we'll do it. And I would do it because I had to be moved. And people think that when people think when they buy tickets for sure that the people doing the show will get the money. We're living in London. Oh, yeah.

[01:03:17]

Just so you know, if you've got tickets for any of our tours, we will see that money 10 weeks after the final date of that tour has happened in 15 weeks.

[01:03:25]

Listen.

[01:03:25]

Yeah, 60 grand a drink, 60 grand, about 60.

[01:03:32]

But when you're finished, if you've spent any money, you've got to wash your face with the flannel. Oh, yeah.

[01:03:36]

You got any. And he's gone down, like on your neck or your mouth or whatever you call it while you've been drinking it. You've got to dry it off with the flow.

[01:03:42]

Weirdly, I would rather drink the water than wash my face with the flannel.

[01:03:46]

OK, another one for you. I clean glass, clean glass, clean water.

[01:03:51]

It's one of your glasses from the cupboard. OK, it's our water from our top.

[01:03:54]

Right, you've got drink it through the flamel dinnerstein so you fly over the top like an old artisanal jam.

[01:04:06]

Yeah.

[01:04:08]

Let's drink elastic band round.

[01:04:10]

Yeah. Yeah. And then you just got to drink it through like a like a like a really smelly snare drum. Yeah, how much, uh. Five pound, no. We do know that you've come to consider I'm considering it covid folk does the drink in the car wash, you know, that's me car wash.

[01:04:36]

Christ, what's wrong with people? Oh, I did the horrible man. That's me.

[01:04:40]

But sorry, we're just skipping over the fact that some lucky lady gets to have sex with him, then watch him dip his.

[01:04:47]

Nobody knows what she's thinking. Oh.

[01:04:53]

Oh I was amazed at that. Oh yeah. Well I love you. I love you too.

[01:04:56]

Slosh wipe. Oh. Another media. Well yeah. What about when the heat comes on.

[01:05:01]

Oh that's going to stink. That's going to absolutely stink. Mom, I hope this man's in jail now. This man deserves to be in jail. This is the worst car wash. And if you all listen to this now, go not normal.

[01:05:12]

How the word have a word, a word, a word wash. You wash it in the sink. But that's better than not, isn't it? A shower gets wipes in a bin. Baby wipes in a bin.

[01:05:23]

Yeah. There you go. Oh right.

[01:05:25]

Got me caught washing fucking animal Robidoux Baba Double Babadook as always, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Chakma Adenoid, which is now part of the E Street. And yes guys, thank you so much. If you want to get in touch, as always, a charmer, you know that Gmail dot com, please continue like great unsubscribe. It's really lovely to do. And again, flogging the old dead horse.

[01:05:46]

Yeah, but the book is OK. That also don't make it. Oh, you said that was rubbish. The book is still not dead ever. To make any noise, try Bruce's impression of a dead horse.

[01:05:56]

So I get it. You know the don't make Rosey do you just have to not make any noise. Are you ready? This is a version of a dead horse.

[01:06:06]

Oh yeah.

[01:06:07]

The book is out on the 3rd of September, available for preorder. Now, some of the stuff we talked about in this podcast actually gets a lot more in-depth analysis in the book. It just popped into my head. There's a flag in it and talk about holidays and making friends and stuff. I put my guide as an only child and make friends on holiday. And it is informative.

[01:06:28]

Also, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you might like the audio version of the book, which is available on Audible. Dakoda, you do do do do do do do do. Do do do do.