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Hello, you're listening to Shackman annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsay and my husband, Chris Ramsey. Oh, no insult, nothing straight. And with just husband and me. Lovely. Very nice.


We are lending behind the curtain early here. We have got some some cheesy sweets on the table here while we record. So it's going to take a while. It's going to be it's going to start stopping for you guys listening. It's going to be seen is going to be edited out. What they're going to be like. Child breaks Lambrix Latchman going on. Absolutely.


And at some point sugar my my talk really fast.


At other points I can have a come down and have a little bit more sugar. So there you go. Well done for letting everyone know that that's fine. You know, part of the public service just letting go. And what's up man. You let them in that the minute that behind the curtain, let them come in behind the curtain of a lie down and see them lie down in front of the fire. Big love to I don't know, I'm saying, guys, it's episode 79, I can't believe the 79.


Goodness me. Thank you so much, as always, for continuing to listen in like and read it and subscribe. And it's just the best. And you know how much we love you. And I'm not going to stop you right now or that stop going out and sucking Dick told you about they.


Tell me how to live my life.


Jesus, this is delicious. Where's Chris tonight is out sucking dicks again soon.


Gonna pay the bills I speak to pay my bills. It's time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor this week. Sponsor is croutons.


Wow. OK, I didn't say that with them.


We've got nothing to do with croutons, to be honest with you.


The guys have been going back and forth with guys from coupons for a while now, you know, trying to trying to make this work, trying to contain a deal.


Thank you. Absolutely. Absolutely fantastic.


I know you.


I was born, but if it wasn't, I'd be going in with that one. Just what stage was your. Yeah. Hey, croutons. They crunch the deal.


Well, that's all for me, guys. Good night, Dexter. Hey, Croute.


Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hey, do you like soup? Do not do bread and soup. Yeah. Well, we readdressed you instead of dipping bread in. What about droppin tiny little bits of rock solid bread in the soup and then eat them straight away if you want to crunch?


Because it's not just some little bits of bread.


That's right. My I do like a crouton.


You do you really. And I'm going to be honest with you, I don't know anyone who likes croutons. I do. Well, OK. Hello, nice to meet you. My name's Rosie Ramsay and I enjoy crouton y you put your left hand out to shake hands.


I don't like quilted covers the less dominant. I don't do much with it. Hey croutons. So you taste like and croutons.


I am, I am slugging them off the partners. I think, I think we've got a bag of them in the cupboard and been there forever. Oh yeah. Well I mean some soup.


Put them in a salad if you want your teeth to fucking eat like shit afterwards.


That salad loud enough is awful pointless.


You know what, I keep moving your mouth as well. What do you mean. How do I keep meaning to use any stale bread.


We've got to make bread crumbs, but I never ever do. And I'm really jealous of people who just have time and have the thought and just go, I'm going to make some bread crumbs today.


If I do like bread crumbs, how right you keep wanting to get steel, right. First of all, amazing thing to be jealous about, you know, like mean girls or whatever.


Just look at that bitch. Look at that. Oh, God. You know, milk, bread crumbs she made last night. Gosh.


Remembers to use stale bread for bread crumbs. Yeah. Well, bitch, it's Kakkar.


Like, what the fuck.


First of all, it's just as a statement.


Secondly, how would you go about this and why do all the bread crumbs why don't we make bread crumbs?


Well, firstly, it's like people who do overnight oats. There's a lot of preparation goes in an overnight oat. What's an overnight order?


Oh, I don't really know.


But I think what I've gathered from overnight oats is you get porridge, which is shite without like seventy five ingredients. So you get porridge, you put like milk in it or whatever, and then loads of other ingredients. You leave it overnight and it goes like thick, you leave it overnight and you have it for you breakfast in the morning. But I called right.


I would probably hate it but I just I'm envious of people who are who are good at stuff like that because I'm not people well organised, basically.


Yeah. Yeah. Doses mainly food based.


Well always food being right.


So people who make over and I or to people who use the stale bread to make bread crumbs, well it's the same as if I, if I'm ever cooking something which is very rare now because you're such a good cook, it's actually pointless for me to do it if it's ever like, oh, make the sauce marinade for 24 hours.


And I'm like, yeah, get fifteen minutes. Oh not even that.


I'll just literally I'll just like sauce, chicken chicken sauce. Right. We're all friends. Right. Time to cook. Just introduce them to them like the Tea Party.


I'm the same, I'm, I'm not very good at that.


Well hey next time them. How do you make croutons. Oh it needs to be on sliced bread. It what you want to on to make your make croutons. I could make croutons.


Croutons can be just normal bread. You fry it. Hey croutons.


They then make them littler. Got some bread crumbs. You're not wrong you know. Hey Balanda bread crumbs.


OK, good. All right. Can we have a jelly break. Yeah. Yeah it's of a jelly bean. OK, let them have it.


You know, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle jingle.


We hope you like the jingle jingle baba dooby dooby dooby jingle. Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shackman, and this is a safe space, so you listen to me and you know everything that happens here, it stays here, right? What do you mean?


I don't understand. Have you talked to you? What do you mean, listener? Right. But they're not doing anything. They're just listening.


That's why I said it's a safe space. You just listen to enjoy. Why are you sorry? I don't understand what you're trying to do there.


Like, it's not safe because sometimes you know, the emails and things, you know, I will be I will be angry. I will be shouting at them. I will be telling them not to be locked up. So it's not that safe. But if you have an in or anything and you just call them, you might know them.


Whatever you do, just sit back and relax. Yeah.


So what's been going on? Uh, not much. Not much to say. Chris, you're sick. I'm sick. Why are you say you're sick to one must be sick.


But this is this is a this is a performance. So I try and leave it at the door.


I cannot I cannot leave me baggage at the door because I'm fed up. I'm just fed up, fed up with the world right now and everything. And it's just sometimes it's just a bit shit and you know, what do you know what happened yesterday, which really just got it was right. I was on Instagram. Instagram, right. Yeah. Somebody it started already and I knew it was coming, but I didn't think I didn't think it would because I didn't think it would affect us as much.


Right. Right. But I didn't know it was coming. OK, I saw the first one yesterday. What was it. OK, somebody said I had a picture of a little boys and they said, I'm going to miss these two when they go back to school.


Fucking dickhead idiots.


Bollocks full of it. Honestly, liar.


I wanted to cry. Sorry I've never done so much swear and so on and it's happened to know it's happening. I'm sorry.


It's not natural to spend this much time around your children. And I love Robin to the end of the earth. But the day that he starts school cannot come quick.


You know, whole God, you can't win. It's been like six months. It's been the longest summer holidays ever.


You know how kids get, like, irritable at the end of a six week holiday? Like, it's like he's been he's been at the end of his six weeks holiday for a month now. And he's just he's had enough of us. He wants to be around the children. He wants some structure in his fucking life.


Yeah, it's ridiculous. Bored and I'm bored and I'm just. But, yeah, since yesterday I thought there's going to be easy to. Yeah, I'm going to miss these to lie.


What am I going to do without these two around. You have a life. Breathe. Have it. Have a breath. I have a bath. I have a frog.


I've got a bottle of wine at midday as well. What am I going to do with these two or not? It's just not getting a bit better then I can't wait for that phone, go back to school and then like it. It's just get fucking some of the stuff now that is coming out of this that like like yesterday you told me that we can't get them school shoes because school shoes have sold out.


And then you've got the you've got a book at Clocks, you've got a book in it clocks to go.


I mean, fucking hell like how to make the mundane more mundane and irritating like Jesus.


You know, I'm very annoyed at myself, although yeah. Obviously Robin start in reception, which I don't know which part of the world you in, but reception is basically the first year of school and you want wanted to be a great mom. And I was like, right, OK, well his uniform, I ordered it big anyway. So he's got his uniform and from last year I'll cook. So that's fine. I just need to get him some new trousers.


Yeah, that's fine issues. He's grown out of them. They've sold out so I don't know what I'm going to do.


They're white trainers chaabi. Next question is pocket. Yeah. You were meant to order it from the school website on the 1st of August because it takes a month to come right away.


I think it's being made in by hand in a case by hand in a cave by London.


And then somebody walks it by hand in a cave by a wizard in Land's End who then walks it all.


Yeah, yeah. And delivers it by hand. Yeah. So I've ordered that today. And so he's going to be possibly the only child wo wo wo without the proper uniform for a while.


There's the box when you go in the box. What's the box.


The packet box. This baby kit box.


You never use this money this first week. Yeah. Oh did you get some, did you get a lesson.


Don't remember the buying of a test. What the real world like. Got you going to get in the box. They're like yeah they're ones get them on your side but yet bang them against the wall to loosen them off because they're rigid.


Will it scream on them and then put them on his first week.


So I want to say I'm really good. I honestly think one of the one of the casualties of covid-19 is going to be the PAYBOX. This baby is not going to be you can't let anyone you anymore. It's going to be on the cards.


We're going to be allowed not at all at Vester. He's going it's. West Africa's first week of school, West Knickers got called investee from the West for the rest of his time at school.


Oh, Robin Vesty. I'm doing up because I'm good about it. And really, I feel like I've really let them down and I feel like I've let myself go.


But you can just put some shorts and some to a T-shirt and a barge on.


All the other kids love the bottom where they in the local field is going to be in the school like the not these mates are going to go to school, go in your class, you know. So next year he's not tagged.


He's not got the school colors on.


Oh, I just got that. See what I mean? That's another thing that's like the overnight autumn. Just not good at this stuff.


Yeah, well, I think the whole thing here is you are very, very unorganized, unorganized.


And you also have a massive go at me when I try and do things straight away.


You real you got a real strange double edged sword going on there where you're like, no, leave that. I'm not too late for that. And then I go, Oh, that needs done. I'll do it now. Why are you doing it now?


Just sit and wait three days for no reason. Well, I'll do it now because, you know, I might as well know.


Just do it just the way they do it. I don't know what's wrong with us.


We literally have millions of arguments where you say to me, why do you need to do that now? Because it needs to be done and I'm here. So I'm going to do it now. And there's me.


Twenty six of August, a month late, ordering me first ever bacon, skins, skins and shirts, skins. He's going to be skins innervate never before shirts. He's got four skins and shit. Scuse me. No it's not what skins and shit.


So we're used to when used to play football when you're younger to decide who was on what team. If you're playing football, all your mates, it'll be skins and it's all right. OK, so in person one team will be topolice. One person of the shooters, right.


Yeah. Just get me out. Yeah. I want you boys. OK, would you be shirts if I was a case.


Never ever heard of them. You know, skins and shit. That's great.


I might be an imminent wrong. People might be listening. We're now kicking off about skins and shirts is what I remember.


But then again I never played football so I was skins and so it, it might have even been skins.


All I'm saying is one walking out to because you didn't all have you know, unless you're Richie Rich and your dad's made you and your mates a five a sidekick for no fucking reason whatsoever.


One last time skins and talk to them. I mean, I'm not sure. So instead of like little little vest, like the luminous vest that used to kind of put on NPR.


I'm sorry this wasn't sanctioned by the school.


I'm talking. Oh, yeah, I'm not talking like that teacher wasn't there going right.


Oh you to your tops off like.


Oh I'm not I am not all your favorites have gotten. Yes. So of all the best look at what is going on.


I am not, I'm not saying that at all.


I meant when you're with your mates on the field fucking over by ok I've never had one, I've never heard that. I mean like into I genuinely thought you meant at your school. And just in my defense your school has been knocked down. Yeah. The two schools that it could you could have played skins and shit.


What a great idea. I'll be honest with you, I think when a teacher is accused of misconduct, I think it's the normal procedure is to fire the teacher, not knock the school down.


It's cut it down, do the ritual. Holy water on the covid just fire him, no, knock it down build I was a fucking idiot knocked down ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.


So this is how on Friday, obviously. So yesterday we would have been on this morning. Oh yeah. Sky via Skype exciton. Yeah.


The other day we had a research chat so the people ring in, just kind of catch up with you, the researchers and stuff and ask those questions. And so we're doing it via Skype. And the guy, the lovely guy. What was your name again? Because he listens to the podcast. You know what it is?


I feel really bad.


I can't remember his name, but he was on Skype now and he's absolutely lovely lad. And he said he was a weirdly a big fan of the podcast.


He's a researcher, but he knew more than us we could stuff for the podcast also. I don't remember that. Yeah. Yeah.


Anyway, hello. If you're listening. Hey, man. But the funny thing was what I was going to say about it was you had to give you a Skype address, didn't you? I did the research this morning. Yeah. And you want to tell everyone what you Skype addresses?


No, because the most for Canada. Oh. Are you stupid? Right, so guys, are you an idiot? So, guys, I'm basically I've got a I've got too old. I've got an old Skype address off when I was younger. Right. And it's a bit stupid.


It's a bit of a joke download as well. Yeah, it's a bit of a joke.


And it's a bit, you know, like, you know, everyone's got like an old I can tell you my old Hotmail address. What is that? Because everyone's got an old like an old email, because that's what this I saw like a BBC three thing once. It was like when you were going for a job interview, get a new email address. You don't be senden like Chaffe Shalvey. Dave Yes. Sixty-nine Yeah. Yeah, my my little.


When I was in when I was in year 11 at school, my old Hotmail address was scared. I underscore Ramzi horrible that.


That's all. And was it with an E for the E? Know what, I missed a trick there, right? Oh my God, I missed a massive trick there. Here's a question for you.


What would it be now if you could make up like a daft username? Yeah, but it would have to represent your life now, right? What would it be?


Not a dot atop Moeldoko. Yeah, probably. I like that. Yeah. Not a dot and. Can I just have five minutes, sit down and hot meals at home, Moeldoko? Yeah, I think mine would always tired that hot helped me. That's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


Mine currently with pregnancy, state and everything I think might be recopying. No, not big.


Not far off massive. But thank planeta.


That's awful right now and not be found around the garbage.




Big nips and things better than all of my big nips and big hips. Oh fantastic.


Yeah. Good. Someone's going to tell you that someone's going to take them, they're going to take the 12 of them and everything.


Can we just pause for a moment and realize that you wanted me to give me 40 million people yet because it's hilarious. You know, the Internet was you don't know how stuff works.


It's just very funny because there's been a couple of professional marrison things recently where we've had to give you a Skype and it's the most horrific username.


So so when I'm on when we were on this morning, obviously it's Friday now. You'll see it on Thursday. When we're on this morning, we would have been Skype through by someone who looked. And when we're going to Skype is now what's the address? What a wanker. And then Skype is. So, yeah.


Does that you know, I like I like to keep with I like to keep on with. Yeah.


He was a skater boy. See you later. Boy that's got to be a leader. Boy do Babadook.


So we had another lovely trip in the motor home. Didn't work. We did. What a fantastic time.


And it was supposed to piss down all week and we avoided the bad weather. Had a lovely day at Alton Towers. Big shout out to Alton Towers amazin and then Longleat Amawi.


Mathari Paul Longleat Safari Park.


Oh God. It was good. It was very good. Specifically the bit where our child was almost eaten and attacked and killed by two apex predators. Yeah, I was quite sure that was fun.


It was a really strange mix of emotion. What do you mean? Basically, dear listener, what happened was we went on a safari and when I did, I did it with Viscountess Emma Waymouth, good friend of mine.


Rawleigh So it's just the circles. I really should see her Skype name.


I don't, I don't know that I'm basically just of like a full on and like VIP experience where you get taken around in the zebra jeep by some. We you had a guy called Ian who was a legend who worked there for like forty six years.


And what happens is on a normal safari, you go on the road but you can come off the roads if the animals are just sitting in the corner, Ian just walking takes it right up to where the Tigers were.


And we were sitting a few metres ten metres away, maybe less less than that from the tiger. Yeah. And it was just sitting chilling until it spotted Robyn in the back of the car.


And it was such a strange experience because I was so interested and fascinated by this animal. But I was very aware that all it was thinking was, I'm going to kill yourself and I want to eat your child.


It was crazy. So it basically saw moving in the back of the van and it just sort of straightened up a bit. It had went so straight out and it started doing the shoulder thing. Yeah. Where the sort of go towards and it was it was it was going to take the call.


It genuinely was. And bless Robyn is not you don't want them kids to really get fazed or get scared like do you know what I mean. Yeah. And he was kind of like LaVine's go what are you doing. And then we, we would joke and be like, oh you can go in. And you just I started really shit himself. I was like, we're going to have to move because I was genuinely terrified. This isn't very nice.


It was actually. Can we, can we, can we move now?


It was that moment where it was like we said, we said we kept saying all the animals are going to eat.


We're made up of a bath in the morning. Just because you need to worry about being treated like the animals will smell you in the morning. And he's like, ha ha. And then we're like, oh, wants to eat your old music hall. And then he looked and he was like, oh, fuck.


It was this it was probably it was so incredible. It was amazing. And it obviously it didn't.


And the place is 100 percent safe and the guys are amazing. And we did just drive off.


But oh my God, such a weird, weird experience. It was very good.


Bad Babadook Babadook. It's time for arguably the worst part of everyone's week and it's the worst part of my week.


He will go face his rose. His mistress. Mistress, mistress. Mistress, mistress. I knew that. Oh, God, I don't know. We yes, we mistress, mistress, mistress, mistress and his mistress, mistress, mistress. I've got such little respect for this, but I'm going to have a jolly wild salmon.


You also hear me. Hello and welcome back to Rosie's Mysteries.


Well, we've had an interval of a week.


If you are nasty and you'll be glad to know you've got an actual mystery this week.


OK, can I probably take a guess as to why you've got an actual mystery this week? Is it because when we were on with our dear friend, the producer from Notting Hill, named to know about the legend?


I actually said to him, I said to the guy from this morning on the phone call, I said, as a producer, what is your opinion on Rosie's mysteries as a segment?


And he said, uh, do you want me honest opinion. We said yes. And I said yes. I said, All right.


Do you like the theme tune? I said it lacked a bit of content. Hey, listen, I can take constructive criticism. Yeah, OK, so this is an actual mystery. Oh, shit. And we need to solve this. OK, so here we go.


Dear Rosie and Chris. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's. Someone said, well, Mr. Mystery, she needs it solved. Oh OK.


I mean my boyfriend or big a big fan of the podcast and thought you might be interested in a lockdown mystery that happened a few weeks ago. Mystery mysteries.


Please keep us up to date on a miss. That was the worst Westlund I've ever heard.


Excuse me. I think you find you're the was one of my beefs. Actually, it's in the thing somewhere when you walk round the house whistlin, it sounds like a phone call.


I hate it. That's what was a kettle whistle in tune, they just go screaming through pursed lips anyway, come on, get on with your tripe. My boyfriend is currently with me in my family during Rúnar night.


We are both in our early mid 20s and have been dating for almost two years. Brackett's for context with us at home are my parents and my 18 year old brother. Got you the other night.


Floor floor play floor play for full.


But I said for some reason I said floor play well well first I said floor mid floor did which I didn't know if I don't know a rabbit in the booth floor but then floor play. I don't know what that was but yeah it's for play but on the floor. Right. Made for play.


My older brother and everyone know just how great you she looked at me a full family know and oh so the other night before play he asked if I wanted to grab one of my vibrators. I have two that we use. Right. This created some suspense, it's just yes, we opened the bedside drawer, they are kept in, but they were nowhere to be found. Oh, God, we started freaking out, turn it off and pulling apart my room, trying to find them.


Turn that off. It's freaking me out.


That's what Mousses Mysteries is all about. After almost 30 minutes of looking and worried that someone in the house had had for some reason took them, he opened one of his drawers and found them both lying there. I knew for certain I'd not put them there. And he claims he didn't either. However, the last time we'd use one of them was quite a few days before. And since then, I knew that he'd been very drunk and got into the same drawer that they were kept to find a cigarettes.


Oh, I think that drunk him thought would be funny to hide the vibrators just for the lolls. He denies this. But the other option is that someone in my family has been snooping in my room and messing with us.


We love to hear your guy's opinion on what may have happened, or maybe we have a ghost, that is a mystery. So what do you think happened?


I think you should have gradually turned that, OK? That was the worst. You got 30 seconds of a 30 seconds cycle.


Well, I've got 30 seconds to answer that. But is there an answer coming up? 30 seconds to guess. Yes. What? This is my idea. I think possibly he may have put them in the wrong drawer while drunk or he might have got them out and had a blast on his own. Right while drunk, got them out of a blast on his own. But it's possible, more possible that a family member who cleans the room moved them.


Right. And I'm telling you what I mean. If you think it's that one, if you think of animals, don't know where the babies are. You fucking wrong? I know exactly where they are.


Case closed. Family member. Case closed. Well done. There was no answer. There was no answer. Listen, this is the worst segment of anything ever.


God, I think I'm going to stick to truth. Of day two, of true or false? I don't even get pregnant and I'm so tired and I'm just I don't know what's happening with my body and my life.


Oh, God, God, God forbid you have a dooby dooby.


It's time for what you be a little bastard.


That's where Barry came.


That's that's where he arrived in that a long, long time. A long, long time ago. I can still remember what your beef, my beef this week is.


You keep talking to me, but I can't hear what you're saying. Right. And you keep saying your own death. Yeah. And I say to you, you mumble like a motherfucker and I can't understand what you do.


I'm a loud person. Yet when you want to be sitting in the front of that van or in the front of the car or just in the house, you know, the little mouse.


And I can't hear what you're saying.


I think you're going to death, I think. And yes, I am not a sudden death. I'm going to get my house cleaned on Friday. Right.


You've told us 25 times. Oh, you heard that.


Did you hear that? I think you've got selective to be around here. And I think you look at your phone and I think you don't listen properly or you're going deaf. I'm not a gambler. I'm a very loud person. I'm being told off every single fucking teacher how to be life, that I'm loud and I never shut up. Right. Everyone knows I'm loud. I'm loud as fuck me to a manager says when he sound check is that I'm the loudest person he's ever sound check and he sounds sound check Murray.


And he says, I'm even louder than I'm sorry. I'm horrendously loud. I'm a very loud person. You're just fucking ignorant. Be ignorant as I see you as a monkey and the need of cleaning. Now I'm going on Friday. Right. It's your birthday coming up on Sunday. Right. I'll try you get your wax cleaned out because I'm going to.


This is the thing, right?


I've never had that done. Well, they were all you talk about you all cleaned like lemon.


I've got too many years. Make too much waksman. It's monkey. It's horrible. I have to get it like sucked out.


But afterwards, it's amazing here. People say to to everything.


You genuinely think any of them cleaned? Probably. Possibly, I'm not sure I do use a lot of conditioner. What's that got to do with it? It might have gone him. Yes, well, I just got by just conditioner. Well, I know other stuff well, I just don't buy anything else. Neame is doing shampoo, but that's not thick. What do you mean conditioner's quite think you are full of conditioner? I don't know. Possibly.


I don't know. Do you use a lot of conditioner? Do you know what I mean?


No conditioning, air conditioning here. And that could burn into me. Is it when you put water in years in the shower.


So if you turn your head on water going Yeah. What would happen. Nobody ever sang, and then if you tilt your head with all the water comes straight out, no, it gets stuck in there quite a lot. You got waxen.


You need really? Yeah.


Is it nice for them to feel good after it hurts a little bit and it's really loud because it's like a really tiny little Ahuva and it's right in your ear and something which is the worst.


Sometimes a little bit of wax goes half across the ortman and makes it like, oh no, Cydia would enjoy. That is what I want to talk about afterwards.


After watching everything else, I eat in a bit. Tin foil by accident. You ever done that before? No. Have you never, ever eat a bit of Firebacks? No.


I'll make sure all ropin is off my food. I don't just tear into it like a fucking bear and just go for it. I make sure all the ropin and stuff is off.


It's the worst, worst feeling in the world and a bit of fire. Oh my God. I said maybe I'm that many. I've only got to felon's.


It's just horrific. All Oh, our experience. Can't believe you've never e while you have never lived in Estonia, they by accident. So if there's a bit of food in this file on there by accident after law, it's not.


Well again, there's the difference between you and me. I'll open the file and I'll make sure it's all gone. But you will with you probably you probably don't even open the file by the bit that is folded on D you probably just rip at the top it like a fucking like a bear going into a picnic.


I'm all right.


It's not like it hasn't been on a sandwich or something. I'm talking like maybe on a Kit Kat or something. I mean it's such a different color. How do you really want to know anyway of it. Vieillard right.


And you know and this goes back to preparation and take more care when you're doing things right that far left, right and center and you're putting them all navigability or whatever or whatever the adjective is, they don't want it done.


Maybe with you this week is right. You are currently refusing outright to be my drinking buddy.


I've had enough of it Rudy. I'm sick of drinking on my own. I'm fed up with I'm breaking no excuse, absolutely no excuse. I'm sick every night in that motor home sat outside on my own. Your drinking part two would be beef, by the way.


You don't leave the motor home, but we pull up. People must think I'm away on my own. And, you know, I was sitting there the other week. Right.


You remember, one will be the first time in the motor home, the place in Harrogate. And everyone came up and said, oh, lovely motor home and see how nice it was.


And then a bigger yeah. And then a bigger, much better one pulled up next to you. And everyone made a point of coming back and tell them that I was was shit.


Now that one. That's nice. Thanks everyone.


I am and I remember the man and the kid got out, did a few things and I just see the shadow of a woman moving around inside like a horror film. And I was like, oh, look at her. She never leaves.


And then I don't see the day that you you don't set foot out of that motor home. I like just her on in such fucking weird.


Everyone must think I'm the only one I sit outside on my own drinking because you won't join us. Selfish, antisocial, not antisocial.


And then yeah I just like him on his own without the shadow of a woman moving around in there. But she never leaves. She looks lovely though doesn't she.


No, she doesn't know. Svelte figure. Oh look at her through the fly net.


I just like staying inside. It's don't ask me how to enjoy memorial.


I honestly like a little motor home hermit. You don't movies. I'm a little bit jealous of you sitting outside drinking doesn't have a drink.


I am not allowed stupid bedmate. Sorry and I know I'll be back soon. I do miss me not drinking but he didn't want to miss me not drinking. Buddy me on. Oh I got to college and did not try and keep up with him and I ended up either bedridden for two days. It looks like it's gone out of fashion. Drinks like a pool filter water just liquid.


Just fly through him just like a fucking basking shark. But start coming out the more homes get weird had outside on my own. You know, the worst part is I always put the three chairs out the new and Robert talk about and I sit there with two empty chairs next to like a right one.


It's not coming out, honestly, it's much more possible. Nice chairs, got any mates for them?


It's just Billy absolutely sick of it. I would do Bob a double bed bath. Ba ba ba ba ba it's time for questions from the public, from the pews in the public.


As always, guys, thank you so much for all of your wonderful, wonderful emails. If you want to get in touch at Shadmi tonight at Gmail dot com, send us anything you actually want. Will love it. And this week, Rosies done the question.


So I get to sit back and judge, send us anything you want except from the people who keep asking me to do adverts on Instagram for chin, bloodied them, strap things.


I didn't know this was a true story. This is great.


So people keep sending emails asking me to do adverts for chinstraps to make your chin smaller. You know, I jokingly did it one time on Instagram, one as a joke to try it out, realized this is a crock of shit.


People have been sending emails to do an advert for them. And I'm like, no, I'm all right. Thank you.


Oh, I didn't know. It's made me very. Yeah, it's this load was very good. Anyway, I wrote Enquirers. Why can't see why 20 weeks progress. And I've just I think I've lost about a thousand braincells.


Thousand brain braincells is or not. I don't think so. I think you've got millions and millions and millions. I've lost a lot anyway.


Hi, Rosie and Chris, I have a question for you.


Since the start of lockdown, I've got I've been speaking to this guy from Bumble on Snapchat.




Bumble is the place? I think Bumble is an online dating thing, right. For getting in with the kids. Right.


I think it's a bit younger and cool. And Tinder Bumble. Mm hmm. He's been going for a while.


It sounds weird, but she met Mumbo-Jumbo. But now just putting them on Snapchat. Zapater don't know.


Am I am I ninety three years old? I think so. I don't know.


Just bumble flowers and bees and honey and sweet tooth. Ah sweet tooth. I do a podcast. It's like then not Snapchat and Falkoff.


I don't know what's gone on so I didn't think you could talk on Snapchat. I just thought with pictures.


I don't know what it is. I know that people send you to. There are a lot of tech things and yeah. Vagina photos and there's a lot of porn going on. Snapchat is there.


Well, I know that one time the Snapchat account tweeted, you know, we see all your snaps, right, questionmark.


And everyone like, oh yeah. So I think it's just like you think people just send the Willis' to everyone.


Oh, well, it's okay because it disappears after five seconds so it doesn't count. Still counting.


Screenshot them. Konya, you kind of did it anyway.


Things have been going well, but we haven't met yet as I've been shielding up until recently. His family are from another part of the UK, but he works locally to me, north west London. OK, he's going back home these last two weeks and has been posting on his Snapchat stories, him spending time with his family. OK, now I know what you're thinking. They sound fine and so it does. I was crushing that bit harder, knowing that he also has a good relationship with his family, right?


I think that means she was just she really liked him.


Punch him a bit more. I think that women care about what? Like, Oh, I like him. And oh, look, he's nice with his family.


Yeah, it is an important thing. Really weird. Well, you don't want to say you don't want someone who's addicted to men.


Talk about it. Not in these stages. No way. But we at large don't care if a girl gets out, and I probably don't. No, no, no, I just don't stop eating squashes while we're bloody doing the podcast it now.


No, I don't think any. No. All right. Oh, yeah. Well, seen this last. Oh, yeah. Snapchat, where you take naked for a couple or you're going to meet up with. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Oh yeah. Good. Sophea also she seems like a really good relationship with a dad.


Well we can all like her, not like she took my dad out.


And I think that's like a nice quality look for. I'm going to go all Mavis's tonight, I got really weird, why are you doing this? I mean, it's just it's not something that I would say to someone I'm not I hope I'm not generalizing here, but I just think it's very interesting.


It's interesting that you said that it's a really lovely thing as a female, as a female perspective. Yeah. I don't know if you would see it out loud, but I think you'd think it I think you'd go, oh, I get on dead cuney with these mom and he's dead. Oh, well, yeah. Well, she's obviously well chosen. Said out loud to send it to what has written in there, which, you know, if it's like an internal monologue in it.


But all I'm saying is literally no, I don't know anyone who would who would find out a thing. It might just because I just hung around with a load of bastards or people who don't care.


But I just don't think. Mom, it's interesting.


It is interesting. Yeah. This is where we might differ, Chris. You know, I mean, what's important to me, I so she was Christian appetite and all that you got on with his family.


Lovely. Until the day he told me that he was meeting up with his grandma for lunch and was excited as she hadn't seen her in a while. Sweet. OK, imagine my surprise horror when he put a picture on his stories of her with the caption date with the girls.


Yeah. Oh, oh, that's just a joke.


I know. So she's put now I'm assuming he must know what the Elbit stands for and therefore must be that bit too close with his family.


Oh, brilliant, fucking terrible woman. This is horrible. While I am Khush, nobody likes getaways away from me.


Oh no. I've decided it's too much he's joking about.


He's not. I hate the world. Oh I'm so annoyed. So yeah.


So if you don't know Gilfry it comes from MILF which is from American. I think American First will do it.


It might be a thing before but yeah it was a mom I'd like to focus. So guilford's obviously grandma or granny. I'd like to. Yeah.


Boy that's a joke. Well she's. But would you take it as a bad joke like I'm hoping it is or should I run whilst I have the chance. Oh yeah. No it's not a joke.


And he's fucking he's not a joke idiot. I don't think it's a joke.


I think he's genuinely having a little bit of an affair with his grandma anyway. And she did email again and said hi, would just like to follow this email up with an update.


Oh, wow. I like that. Thank you. Organized. Amazing.


So things have been busy for me at work the past week or so, so we haven't been talking as much. I then go to Snapchat and yesterday and the message was showing is pending. The boy had blocked me on everything with no warning.


I'd like to stress that both of us were in our 20s, him twenty for me 22. So I'm honestly just a bit annoyed. Brockert furious that he's decided to end it this way rather than talk to me face to face. You know what's happened?


Well. Left for his national socialism, it's another way of going to it's a thing I want you to plug all your analysis on Snapchat, on Tumblr, on Tumblr, Tynda, window grinder.


Schneider, leave plenty of fish, plenty more fish.


Werther's Originals, Weatherzone Originals, Black Bullets stuff, the hard suite that my grandma used.


All right. OK, so that sounded like a really dodgy deal.


Now, you know what some things just reminded me of just talking about I mean, horrible, horrible Segway because, you know, my nana is still alive and she's lovely and my granda sadly isn't.


But I just had a little memory there because I said Blackbelt in the front, my grandmother's car. You could always have black bullets in there. I do remember them.


And like white and black tin, I think you're beautiful anyway. Do you know what else he had in his car? Well, he had because obviously I'm from a Catholic family and any sort of his orange fiat punto. Right, had this like it was it was Jesus is like hand, but it was like a little statue of it, you know, it was just it was very small.


It was probably the size of your thumb. OK, OK. And it was Jesus hand like a rosary beads round it. Right. OK. All right. Yeah. I remember this. I just remember on numerous occasions, I don't know why this is stuck in my head. I remember being out with my whole family at a picnic or something. Right.


And the not being a spoon or a knife fork and that, you know, but I far that is I mean, I'm not even massively religious and I'm offended by that.


Use that little terrible little Jesus hand. But do you have a boat that is more than one? So that's quite that.


Really it. I think that in my mom's calling, you know, fishes and loaves and, you know, in the midst of.




Jesus would be proud of the fact that at first when you said a statue of Jesus and I thought you meant like full size, like the full size, like like life size, just like a hand like what's that artemy me Jesus hand replica. Why is it in a little box. I got you right with the black book.


So anyway, come on, pass the home as possible of the mess of Christmas. The homeless of Christ. Oh no you're not. You're far from something. Not your family at all.


Abdu ba ba ba ba ba. Hydrazine. Chris Whilst listening to the podcast last week, it reminded me of a story I was told about potentially the worst, best man at a wedding that I thought you would find interesting. Oh, it's important to know that this isn't my story. But when I was told by a friend that was working as a caterer at the wedding, it's just too good not to share. The wedding was huge and had been booked in a fancy marquee on a golf course in ethics, no expenses paid by the loving parents of the bride to be.


My friend who was working as part of the catering team was just doing their job as required until he came to the traditional speeches where they were instructed to stand at the back. At that point, the father of the bride stood up and started making a speech, which was all about how wonderful his daughter is and how happy they are for the newlywed couple as as it should be nice.


As he comes to the end, he looks over the couple and says, We have one final gift for you, too, to around the world tickets for you both to enjoy as your honeymoon.




Holy shit, Father. Is it around the world he asks for? Yeah, they got a few quid down there.


Tell you what a thing around the world tickets.


Well, I mean, I hope the stopping off, I hope, is not just as a massive plane journey. Forty seven hours and often, Sydney, you're getting straight by on and you come across, you know, way around.


It'll be like plain food, motherfucker.


Where like where would you go in and around the world trip because that would take a long time.


Well yeah. I mean, I don't know what a stupid thing to say, isn't it? Well, I imagine if it's I mean, it's probably a show off think he has to around the world tickets. But it's probably if I was going to go round the world, I imagine you would go somewhere in Europe then maybe Dubai or Shanghai or somewhere around the Asia. Then you probably go maybe Japan, then Australia, New Zealand, then a couple of places in America and then back.


But that's not around the world. That's this is a very walk round with a trundle wheel. Well, I don't think you should give me I don't think you should see in a around the world trip. I just I think that it's out it's very bull's eye in it.


Yes. I could win it on Bulls like it's 90s game. Sure.


And a generation game and around the world trip. Yes.


Just not. Might have been a cruise. That would make more sense. I mean, it could go a lot more places. Yeah, yeah. It just annoys a bit.


But I just I just you to show us because you can't fly anywhere. I know. I know. I just think I'm going around the world, take it for you and your partner around the world.


We've gone around the world where exactly, just around the world, right? OK, great. Always stupid, stupid. Anyway, the wedding guests were so touched by this and the bride burst into tears thanking her parents for such a generous gift that she really wasn't expecting. She's never been around the world, the groom said. Where specifically? Around the world.


Stop, stop, stop.


Stop crying. We're specifically Dave. Dave, where? Where we're stopping.


Do we need injections around the world? Are you going to need some sort of injections? Very vague. Very vague. I actually hadn't really noticed it at the first time about this. But the second time around, I'm really annoyed by that stupid present.


You know.


You know that my parents, all they made to be that when. Oh, yeah, they've paid for it.


They've invited all of the stupid me. And he stood up, went around the world. Everyone's clapped.


It's a golf course and there will be no fewer than 100 white Range Rovers outside professionalized Reges that I found that really irritate me.


Just calm down. Anyway, around the world, it's 2020.


People know, like people have got phones with accessible maps on.


It's not like back in the 70s when when you go around the web and go around the world, God, it's like people know what the world's like now.


Do you know what I mean? They're silly. Very flat. Earth will be a furious as well. Can't go round the flat earth.


And as the father of the bride gave the travel vouchers over to the groom vouchers, I get more annoyed at every I'm sorry to revisit it again when I get more annoyed at everything.


Either way, we're going to write this. This is Australia.


And if you've got the Australia New Zealand voucher, Gary, your where there are in on the last leg of the trip. Oh God. What stranded.


How many countries is there in the world. Oh yeah, hundreds. What is stupid to.


I'm sorry but no then don't then don't stand up at a wedding and go for your honeymoon. You're going around the world. No you're not. You're going a few places for your honeymoon.


What we've done, we've really kindly were booked you a lovely little island hopping trip and there were surprises where you go and take away the around the world.


Beland, I'm sorry. I just ask you, if you stood up, if you bought our kids at the wedding day.


Right. We were doing really well. And you'd bought like. Right, OK, where would you like to go? You've always wanted to go to India. OK, well, and then maybe you could on the way back you could go there. Right, OK.


You wouldn't stand up and say we've bought you some tickets around the world.


I will not you don't you dare I tell you every event now someone is going to get in around the world, take it from me. Other people's weddings are going to be like miles at the back. Like friend of a friend were colleagues. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.


I'll just let it go. Thunder So you don't know me, Chris. We like you guys. I know we haven't known each other.


Got you to wait from us right over there on the table, just around the world or doland because you will and I'll be super annoyed anyway.


Yeah. So very good.


When I saw you, father of the bride, give you stupid travel vouchers over.


And so the southern hemisphere northern hemisphere border all the way around north the south around like the poles around the middle. All of it.


All of it. You're going in a hot air balloon around the world. It is cool around the world doing well.


They're stopping off course around the world and that is other coronavirus.


You can't go around the world. It is anymore.


It's not like you got a queue to me. You can stop.


You've got to be to me as apart from the just about. 80 days, I thought, was 90 days. The world needed is no one even watching TV, watching the slaughter. Did you have to live on half speed?


Like when people broadcast from the plane? Probably so. Anyway, the story is.


The groom stood up to do his speech. He started with the normal thanks to everyone that came, but then suddenly the mood changed and he turned to his wife, father in law, and the best man who sat beside them and said, I would like to thank you for these most amazing tickets around the stupid world. Great. I didn't do that. However, I am pretty sure they are best suited for my wife and best man who have been having an affair behind my back all this time.


Oh yeah, you are joking.


Apparently so.


There was a stunned silence and a look of horror from the bride. And the best man is the secret had been revealed. My friend who was standing at the back with the other caterers just looked at each other not knowing what to do. Chasez At that moment, the bride got up and ran out just behind by her parents in the best man. The groom, on the other hand, just stood there, halibuts, glass and said she has everyone and sat down again.


What seemed to be a well fulfilled plan of his was all in shock of what just happened in front of them.


My friend asked his catering manager what they should do. She turned around and just said, and carry on as normal. I guess so, as instructed, all the catering staff walked around clearing plate and topping up glasses, wine and champagne.


Amazingly, some of the guests, even some of the guests, even stayed. And as the deejay was already set up, the groom asked him to continue.


I respect that. I respect that very much. The last little bit is it turned out that the groom had found out a couple of days before the wedding, but instead of cancelling everything, thought it would be much more of a payback to reveal everything after they had got married called Cold Motherfucker.


That is thought.


But do you do that?


Oh, no, no. I need to do things immediately. I found out about it once and immediately. I would have whatever I would have done. It would have been instantaneous.


I'm very happy to have found that out. How could you have stood at the old and done it all? Like, that's quite. I don't get me wrong, I mean, she's obviously in the wrong having an affair with the best man, whatever, but that's quite callous, I think, of him as well as her why she's still going through. Why do people still go through when. It's crazy.


Well, yeah, like loads of things that people cheating on, people that don't stop doing it had to do with the best men and oceans and all that.


Yeah. Yeah. So it's very cliche.


It's very round the world and it's very around the world. I just don't believe this is true.


Actually, I think, you know, stranger things that happened. Yeah. I think it stories would be guarantee you. Right. I guarantee you every one of that went about the Groom Day were like always nervous.


And because you can get away with being fucking weird on a day like if you're not a performer, I mean, yeah, you can.


I've seen people shitting their pants. And I went to college and I was really nervous and wasn't.


And he is a performer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So all day the guy could have been like and he could have just been on.


He's not being himself, you know, he's a bit nervous and then boom, he drops out and I bet you fucking chill after that.


Do you think. Wow.


So grim and poor kid or us Ikeja just storms out. Just everyone. Red or white.


Red or white sir. Or champagne with kids. OK, would you stay at the wedding.


What course would be on.


What he'd been finished off by then is coffee still coming, probably need your help.


I'm some for the biggest of all, there'll be no first dance, probably stay a bit safer, but all of a sudden you go to make sure he was all right.


I probably go to see the groom and say, oh, yeah, right. I go outside for a cigarette even though I don't smoke, but I specifically get a cigarette.


I couldn't see what was happening in the car park with them guys.


What would you buy the around the world to itself, the father in law?


I'd need a lot of questions. There'd be a lot of questions. Would you show us on a map where these go?


And then I'll consider how you dress them down publicly in the car park and tell them that's not actually around the world. That's impossible. It would take years.


Not not on that day. All that stuff.


I'm not going to kick a guy down the next morning. You know, all this money of wasted. By the way, can I just tell you about your all presents? A load of bullshit as well, mate. Just stop it. Stop consuming it all. Look at this. Google Maps semiformal.


Look, technically possible. I have got a job. Do you. Does your daughter work? Does he work? I mean, very, very presumptious gift.


I mean, to properly go around the world. It would. Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But back when you're seventy two I'd be quite annoyed if someone bought me. I wouldn't because it would be lovely. Put on it. Somebody bought you a holiday, you'd be like well when's it booked for in the Golden State. Well I can't, I've got a meeting at work that day. This was a really inconsiderate gift.


Why. Oh.


Speaking of inconsiderate gifts, you've just reminded me of something. Oh, my God. I was so I was talking to someone the other day.


Right. Who said for their wedding they were given two hamsters.


Oh, that's horrible. That's terrible.


That the worst didn't we have then we have sort of the podcast it was given to birds. Yes. That was the one I personally know. I want to say who it is, but I got the sportsmen. They they said they got said for they got given for their for their wedding to see they have children know they got given to hamsters and one of the hamsters.


The other hamster.


That's awful.


You don't get pets. Worst persons, worst president ever.


But everything horrible would you rather have instead of the round the world. Trust us.


Boba dooby dooby dooby rosin. Chris. Hello. I think I have a story that needs to be shared insane as you guys don't shy away from any growth.


I thought this will be the perfect place to share one to get me in on.


Yes, it's not that gross, but fine. I'll be the judge of that. Let's go. It's not it's not obvious at all anyway.


And I was saying this guy, a salesperson person, I was saying this guy I used the term seeing loosely shukan, I'm guessing so. Yeah, cool. And we ended up getting an Uber to his to his after a night out in the town that ended up in Powerhouse. I can't really remember much of the night, but I do remember being waking up fairly promptly the next morning as he had family coming up to see him. We hadn't been seeing each other very long, but he offered me eggs for breakfast, which I thought was really sweet.


Oh, it's quite nice, isn't it.


Yeah. Walking up like, oh, so are you going to have to go get got family come around. What would you like.


Some eggs for breakfast. How do you like eggs. And more than a black man with a cook like mine in a hurry before you finally get here.




I don't, I don't find that nice at all. I don't find that nice at all.


I find a home of a slight, you know, hoping you don't wake up, wake up right before I'm right in here.


Please said fuck off and eggs is not the greatest actually. Yeah. My eggs. Why just eggs? Hey, I think we ought to have a sausage.


Some would think we're a couple of miserable bastards. We are. We've turned down so far a trip around the world, eggs on a morning and two hamsters.


Yeah. Yeah. Hey, at the moment she thinks it's very sweet. OK, very good. He asked how many I wanted and I just said one was not in a good state and didn't want to have anything too risky. Just want one egg. That's the saddest breakfast in the world.


Really weird. It gets worse. Why did you disappear to make the eggs. I wondered what you come back with a poached egg, a nice greasy fried egg sandwich, maybe scrambled eggs if you'd been fancy.


Just he came up with. Right. It was none of these. Instead he presented to me a single egg with the Shalon in a Bollani stained Tupperware box.


I laughed, thinking it was just a raw egg, and he said, well, it will be hard to find things on the Internet.


It turns out he hard boiled men an egg and expect that maybe we did on the way out of the door.


Apple called it a cold.


It is like an apple.


Oh, she's going to look like a headcase getting on the bus with a Tupperware box with a hard boiled egg rattling around in it.


And then she give me the worst person I've ever eaten, a freshly fucking hard boiled egg on the walk of shame.


Or I'm not being funny. I love a hard boiled egg. It's actually one of my favorite ways to eat eggs, but I do not enjoy a hard boiled egg the morning after a session on the drink. It would be it will be the last thing I would go to.


That's honestly just the texture. A long walk of shame with a little Bollani stained Tupperware with a nagging.


Hey, I'll tell you what, honestly, I can see why you are so lucky you found me.


You see what's out there to see what's up.


Well, there's another little bit here, so. But this wasn't the worst part. Oh, no. He then proceeded to show me how he has a quick breakfast to go in the morning.


I watched in horror as he peeled the eggshell, popped the entire egg against his lips, and in one swift sock I saw it lodged in his throat before he hit himself in the chest uptimes to get it to slither down a.


Safe to say it was the last time we ever saw one another. So this poor girl or boy who's who stayed at this guy's house has been rushed out of bed because the family, he has an egg in a box. But before you go watch my party trick, I'm going to fucking swallow this egg holes like you.


It seems I want to check it out. It's going to die. He's going to want. It's not going. I think I genuinely I think this is being premeditated.


And I think what I think this bloke thought, right, I'm going to impress them and I'm going to be like, you want an egg? Yeah. But I'll be like, look, this is how you know. And it's his party trick to just choke on an egg, but then make him. All right. I just want to know how careful it'll be.


Hot. Rasiah oh oh oh oh oh.


Could you imagine just watching someone who you don't know that very well, who you possibly just shagged you that you'd be good at. Wouldn't you be like whatever dude. What is my life back.


Hi Mersea. Oh hi Nasya fan of the podcast. I have been a got what. I don't want to get this wrong. Hang on.


Gastro intestinal gas news for ten years.


OK, and I enjoyed last week's story as removal of foreign object. This is from a I don't I think this is a from a while ago.


Sorry I enjoyed last week's story. Removal of foreign object. That could be anybody could be. I don't know when that will be any week on Saturday night. I can't remember.


So as you see in here, the removal of a foreign object is a procedure I've encountered many a time. The cucumber and vibrator made me think of some my.


So we should actually just get on. Sorry about that.


One such incident was a night shift, as these things often are.


You know, the then foreign objects when come out at night, if you're going in at 2:00 in the afternoon with a vibrator stuck up your arse, I mean, get a job.


What you do is true.


And I got handed over a 31 year old bloke who presented it to any with anal and abdominal pain. Good grief. Which, upon coaxing by the doctor, was upgraded to foreign object in rectum.


Gee, that word rectum, dear.


I do rectum. I think it's quite nice. Not nice, but it's rectum choplin.


So apparently he would not under any circumstances tell anyone what had happened. He hardly spoke and he was in hospital alone as his girlfriend was at home looking after their toddler.


Good God, she's we were forbidden from telling her anything.


Secret, secret shopper. That's what he.


He managed to communicate somehow that his bomb had an upon assessment. It was clear to the doctors that they would need an X-ray and a surgical opinion due to the mysterious object stuck inside of him. I know he had an X-ray and was sent to my ward to be prepared for theatre. The surgeon came to update me as I was getting nothing from the man. Obviously, my first question was what is it?


To which the doctor replied, Have you seen the X-ray? It's great. We think it's perfume.


Oh God, no. Now, I'm not trained to read X-rays, but this one was supreme. It was very obviously a bottle of perfume.


My way. And you could see the outline of the lid on the guy had shoved it up there with the lid and first like an idiot. Oh, we nip it in everything.


Oh, God.


I looked at the X-ray first and said that flower by Kensal.


Not anymore. No, no, no, no. And she said, I bet you a tenner that flower by Kenzo.


Right. He risked perforated his bowel, which would have resulted in serious infection and a storm up ahead. I'm not sure if there's any risk in absorbing perfume in your rectum. Nice. But I can't imagine it's all that healthy. There was also the risk of the bottle breaking, which, as you can imagine, would be a very bloody situation.


No, no, no, no, Paula. Perfume, of all things. It's not even not even phallic shaped. Do you know what I mean? SIFMA. Folic, folic. You go methodic, you always with. Polic fulling oh, hey, guys. Books are third of September. She's an author. She's an author.


Fallick That's what I meant, metaphorically, like folic acid in it.


You take folic acid when you're pregnant. I do defocus. Now, that might be why I know I am currently taking folic acid.


Do you think it's folic acid shit like nobody's the tablets, avelino, folic acid. That's what us in this bloody situation in the first place.


If bollix away from me, I'm sorry about that, OK, so. Right, the patient went to theater, during which time I obviously showed all of my colleagues the X-ray and we all had a guess, this is the time when I would really like to work in a hospital.


Yeah, when the Supreme Court as well, if he's obviously popped out to say, if you're. Well, oh, I see. Oh, hey, listen, I still you still get a refund on Christmas. Sure. If you really need the money.


Of course, the good stuff is ready for you. When I went to pick the patient up from recovery, the nurse not realizing I had already met the guy, began to excitedly and secretly tell me the story of the silent patient with a suspected perfume bottle up his ass. All of this whilst he was groggy, recovering in front of us.


So I asked if they managed to get it out. All right. And more importantly, what was it? Not only did they manage to get it out with complications for the man, the lid remained intact and it was indeed flour by Ken.


And she said at the end, to this day, no one is give me a tenner. Wow. No, right.


I've just Googled Flower by Kensal. That makes perfect sense.


All right. OK. Think what you're thinking of. A flower on the corner, thinking of Lobell with a little flower on top by Kensal.


I can absolutely understand it. She lied about it because it's fully blown. Shaped like a piece.


I was thinking of that. You know, the little one with the flower petals, with a daisy on top. That's what I'm thinking. I was thinking, oh, that was a fucking nightmare. But yeah, flower by that is called Daisy. That makes that makes perfect sense.


Wow. Right. OK, yeah. Great. What good.


Spotfire, by the way, if you listen to this now, Google Flower by Kensal and you'll say a good spot by her. Wow. Just sniff it afterwards, would you use it? How much is flour by Kensal? I don't know. I don't know how.


I've never used it before. I don't think it's really hard. I think it's mid range. I think I'll keep it. No, I don't want to let Paula Creed maybe go. I go on then I just don't know why people are still.


Shoven, like not there, were specifically made objects to be put, put whatever you want to be, right? Yeah, but this made things out there.


Yeah, but it's the in of it, I imagine there's a website where you can buy it and it comes anonymously. You know a lot about this. It's on the advert, there's an advert, an advert on the telly.


I don't know what the website's called, but it actually says on the advert this comes to you without packaging and called your bank statement and stuff.


I mean, what people is going to think it's going to come like a little fresh, like with a big hits here.


Also play the big box dildo, you dirty pervert night in a question mark. I don't know. I didn't.


Well, anyway, it's not bottles of perfume. Yeah. Wonder what it smell like afterwards.


Lovely flowers. Dooby dooby dooby dooby.


Thank you once again for listening to this week's episode of Shadmi Adenoid, which is now part of the E Street network. Thank you so much indeed, guys. As always, if you want to get in touch with absolutely anything, it Chakma you know, Gmail dot com. The book is out on the 3rd of September.


Get it preordered and all that jazz and yeah, we will see you next week after our little surprise of yours. You know what I'm doing this week. What everyone around the world can't.


Wait, wait, wait. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.