Transcribe your podcast

Hello, you're listening to Shackman annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsay and my husband, he's hanging on by a thread, for goodness sake, Chris Ramsey, Falken say, OK, guys.


Hey, listeners. Hey, beautiful people.


Are you fucking sick? I'm fuckin sick if you're not up to date.


By the way, if you're listening to this after we've just been we've just been Uncle Boris.


He's been on the news again and doing a big shit directly into our eyes. So.


Yeah, but I mean, we we talked about last week about the Northeast being on a lockdown. We are now one.


We're on another lockdown, fully blown lockdown. But but listen, Savolainen, right? We like winin. Everybody likes winin. Yeah, OK. We've had a lot of awards recently.


The podcast really well, our hometown, Chris, our hometown where we live be yet where we grew up, whatever. Yeah. We are currently second place on the leaderboard.


Right. Of the highest number of coronaviruses gonna want to win. So what do we do. Just keep checking everyone. Everyone in Town Square tonight spit in each other's mouth.


Party is just one party.


Go at nine o'clock tonight. It does not seem like an awful lot because I don't know what they you listen to this. So that's just a joke because.


But yeah, let's just stop being so bloody nice. So then as we kind of keep flipping hands of each other, people shaking hands, bloody licking each other's tongues and that it's too much, I brought my back in, not only did not, but when my dad worked in the pit.


And if they're if they've got anything on the shipyard, sorry, and if they've got something in there, I went to some guy's little hot and he looked there the wrong with. Have you ever mentioned this on here?


I think I might have. You must have. I mentioned in the intro now because my head's all over the place.


You told me that story once and I was horrified.


I worked at the shipyards and and whenever they got something in there, either would go to see a guy whose name was Jordy or something because it was that Gaudencio, he'd been in the workshop and something in me and he would hold their eye open and he would look their eyeball with the underside of his tongue because the undecideds like softer, smoother, like, sorry.


But that what what is your job? Oh, I like all the lights. I'll be honest with you.


I think this was before health and safety. I think I've been. How old are you, Dad? 370. Oh, my.


What I'm saying is I think the reason we also he's got I think he's back. I think he's back on the scene. Is he back? Lykins Yeah. Yeah, right. I think also with the rough side of his tongue, it can get dislodged contact lens out as well.


Wow. Wow. It is. Fevzi. Well, it would go like that going on.


Well, guys, it's episode 83. Thank you so, so much for listening. And please continue to like and subscribe now what I say written subscribe obviously on you know, on Spotify and on and on all the rest of them on Apple. Want to see read if you want to give a little five star rating on Apple on the Apple thing. That'll be lovely. It's always nice to see one of them. Thank you.


And yeah, without further ado, before we go any further, it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsorship.


I didn't know if you'd be doing it responsibly because I know it is been a really rough day for you. Can I tell them money never sleeps?


Can I tell you all about it?


So today I say today we are actually recording the podcast. At nighttime, it's nighttime back to bed and in bed because Chris didn't didn't do well today. No. After the announcement last night. So it didn't get to do the part because you were utterly miserable.


It's not that the announcement affected me in any way because we're already on a lockdown.


So basically, the rest of the country who got that announcement, they on the fucking holidays compared to worse because they still got really sick and we're not allowed anywhere around.


It's just that fucking it's just like The Hunger Games. It's that thing of everyone.


Gather around the big screen and look at the big man's face to hear what of your life's getting fucking fucking bombed out of existence today? Uncertainty. It's not.


No, it's not even the uncertainty. It's the it's like you know, it's like they had everyone march to the telly at eight o'clock.


Boris comes on and tells us how to always going to shit all over.


Well, it's just crazy. I don't know. He's not shitting all over. I know. It's to say it's a weird thing because some people are fearing for their lives, literally fearing for their lives, fearing for their livelihood.


And I'm just fucking miserable because people are grassing on each other and people are just being dickheads and.


Oh, and people are so angry and it's just the vibe it's given off that's upsetting me.


But money never sleeps because it is right. This week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor is.


Yes, go out the pubs. Whoa. You went to the pubs were shot in the pubs.


Great. Thank you. Yeah. That I think that's how it went. Exactly how it went. The government started the pub.


It will pay off. You will pay off your bill gates our Wednesday. Treat yourself well. Whoa.


You went out with that people on a Wednesday, not just by yourself.


I fucking pub right now. Madness claim and all the arguments.


What I'm human at blaming all the women, all the unions like honestly, you told them to go out. You did tell them like you tell them, go on, go out, have fun. And they did it like I would have done when I was their age.


But, you know, anyway, just we just moaned enough.


We need to stop because this is bad. The. Gill is going to cleanse us all and we're going to start with a normal pot, we'll just be honest, you guys, and would like to let you know when we thought I went back to fucking bed today. Yeah, I know you did. We're supposed to record the podcast.


And I went by the bed. A textile producer said it's OK if I send it off last night. What about for an hour and a half during the day you needed it? Yeah.


That was really about, though.


No, never do look almost like time to get off a new day, a new me and I came downstairs and I was like, I wanna go back to bed fuckin sick. I'm having a wine. But listen. Yeah, you have wine, you selfish little shit. You're selfish. I miss you. I want you to drink because it's upsetting. And we are going to take you away from all of this bullshit for an hour or so. Come on.


I followed the soul cleansing. Happy, happy Ginkel. We had a fight about the jingle God. We could sing along to jingle jingle God. So this is the jingle jingle. We hope you like the guy ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shackman Denied.


I hope you're all well. We've mourned enough, so let's just crack on.


We have my hands. O'Hern Why some a manual labor now? Manual labor.


You know, you put one wardrobe together.


I beg your pardon. It was right. It was a corner wardrobe, which is essentially wardrobe and half. Then it was two of the wardrobes on top of that. That's three and a half wardrobes.


It's what's wrong with you? Is that why are you so exhausted? Because you've actually done a little bit of manual labor.


Last night I caught my hand with a screwdriver and I hope both my thumbnails I've heard both my thumbnails. I don't know that.


Well, just wait till section, OK? And enjoy that. Yeah, they were both bleeding and then I put drawers on Robin's cupboard and then I moved all my clothes from one to the other room. Now wish you guys, guys, I was a shared dressing room. Now most girls get ready for a night.


So just chatting and know what nights out. Grace, we're not losing any of that one in the front room.


You know, when I took the orange wreath, just the best time ever to go to the music on and use your head where and we're hairbrushes as microphones and was singing. I have a right laugh.


Don't want to in that one because you make me sad because I actually really like that part of a night. Getting ready with your mates in your room. I still do it now.


Thirty three well before shit. Oh yes. Oh. Oh shit.


I refer to myself as thirty three to do that little shit bag they are. Go just read a person because I watch UFC all the time. The amount of times I like this guy. This guy is a veteran, he's been in the UFC for years and he's like thirty three and I'm like oh fuck my life. And then the new guys coming in, I literally like this. Children like this like there's like 19 year olds, like eight year olds coming to the UFC and the like.


And I'm like how, how to do it because they don't last very long. Well, UFC is really honestly, they're just I'm like, oh, he could be on my bike and he'd be like, is your bike? There's my bike because there's nothing I can do.


Well, you're not looking forward to getting older. It doesn't really bother us, so I'm Jordan. So, you know, for the podcast now, but it doesn't mean I've got friends who are like, oh, let me hold on.


I just I don't think I quite like being a bit older. Yeah. You get away with more stuff, I think. What do you mean?


Well, like shit in your pants and then. No, not with us. Not not that far but just accidentally racist to Christmas.


Terrible stuff. Oh she's she's 34. So, you know that's that's actually it's not an excuse to 74, but 34.


No, no. Get out of my house.


Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.


So it's not cuz from the pews just yet but I've got a very interesting letter, a letter email from somebody that.


Yeah. Quickly you are getting old. I really thought it was a letter. Got him through the Internet, got a I got a telegram from a pen pal so I got a letter through the internet somebody.


But it rejected. Yeah. With Oh and it is.


Hi Rosie. Hi Chris. I have a question about the way you speak. Maybe I only know this because I'm not a native English speaker. Oh, OK. OK, it's completely normal for everyone else.


And I was like, all right, OK. Well, the Geordie accent for one, is quite hard to understand and and this person's role in perfect English. So I am always impressed by that when somebody who's not English. So already they've tromped. Right.


Well, I, I always find that when you like at a restaurant or something on holiday or someone holiday and someone's like with a very slight accent like, oh no, I'm sorry, my English is not that perfect.


And you go, ah you say that kick me in the dick because your English makes my Spanish look like I've never fucking spoke in my life because the only word I know is hello.


And that was very short. English makes my Spanish like a fucking cave painting. Yes. Yes. The state I'm telling you this it on purpose. You know, I'm sorry. My English is no good and they had to go you lazy English pig. You want to know what language this is? My fifth and well it's stupid.


You are in fair play at them. I'll let them have that.


So true. So this person has carried on so I thought I didn't expect they. So ok.


OK, so when I first started listening to your podcast, you would already announced the pregnancy.


So I assumed it was some weird habit of ruses to keep reminding everyone she is pregnant.


This is this is possibly to get more sympathy or whatever it was it was. Then I noticed Chris does it too. So I'm just a bit confused because that made me think so. Hang on. When you tell people you're pregnant or you men just tell them you're pregnant and then never mention it again, I'd be all for that.


For you, this person. This is just my soulmate.


Is this my. It may well be if my win.


So I was going to talk just then about how to deal. I was watching something.


I was watching a video on YouTube about a man making noodles and he lifted a pot in the pot, was really heavy and honestly felt a little bit jealous because at the minute I'm really missing Korean heavy things because you're not allowed when you're pregnant, you miss and covered in heavy things, said no one ever apart from possibly Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime when he might have been injured.


Well, honestly, I'm not a missing codding. Let me have things.


I think it's because of everything that's going on the minute the restrictions and stuff. And I'm just getting tired. I can't do a lot of things right now.


I'm the same and lifting heavy things is really it. I'm struggling with it because I just want to get shit done and I'm just I want to just lift that shit up and I want to move them and I want to put that box in.


I want to go in the loft and do that.


And I'm not really mendo when I'm trying to be sensible. So I was like, I want to talk about that.


But then I got that email and I was like, well, I can't mention that because this shit, bad things I mentioned being pregnant too often, still managed to still go to me anyway, so fuck you.


But then she said, why do you refer to yourselves as we? Right, so so this is the actual language thing, the pregnancy thing was just it was just her being a dick, but that's fine because I'm pregnant and I'm happy to be pregnant and all I've got going on.


So I need this person's email. I just feel like I could offload a lot of stuff and that could help us.


So we would have a lovely time. But we we see we. But it doesn't mean we as in what we say. WA wa, wa wa. It's very confusing.


I find it hard to. Yeah.


Sort of explain it when I get sort of quizzed on it when someone's like us and where and why and I'm like I can't wait.


You're going to have to wait until you catch a scene in a sentence and then I'll explain and I'll explain it like, OK, well I think we've done before but when coming with you.


Coming with us. Well, so I hope that helps Kate. And yeah, the baby's due in January. I'll be looking forward to the guard.


To the post. No, no. But I will need that embrace because I think I think we hit it off.


Well, honestly, you can go and take a little anxiety attacks over which because that would be nice. She took in and fed during the day. Yeah, that'll be nice. You did. You did.


So I said you and I to about it when I went to bed with a heavy depression. Do you and anyone listening.


Anyone listening who thinks I'm taking the piss out of depression. I'm, I'm not. What about during the day? You told me that's not the act of a depressed man.


I went, OK, but you want take the piss out of depression when you have depression that we don't like anything and then you're making fun of and I'm not making fun of it.


I'm fucking miserable. God damn everything. I went I went upstairs and you were like, you know, no, not just stay and chat.


And I was like, look, I'm just going bed. I was like, just come and talk was if you want to talk.


It was fucking half an hour later you came up just as I was normal to do what I was doing. You Dick, I was watching that noodle video. Brilliant. And that's what me it is absolutely everything about lifting stuff. And then I read that Korea. So I'm someone it was more it was more miserable. You want me competition to it was more depressed.


Listen, we're both as depressed as each other, so that's OK. Fair enough. Jesus got a laugh about it.


Exactly. Love you do Bob. A double bed. You just want to let you all know. I feel like I don't want to brag and I want to word this like in a in quite a humble way.


So I don't sound like a big head. And I am in awe of the genuine, magnanimous power that this podcast I went the wrong way tonight.


I don't know what tournament, what dominoes have caved in and started doing half an off again. No, they haven't started doing half an off again.


Listen to this podcast, The Shot.


The little niggas realized they were being stupid and that doing half not good for you. Yeah, the start. Yeah. And can I just say now.


Right. I'm not going to name them. Rival pizza company got in touch.


Listen to the podcast, got in touch with our management and said, hey guys, we're doing half and half said you want to post about it like hashtag fuck Domino's. I was like a a that is snake behavior and I'm not happy with that.


I'm not happy with that at all.


So when you get in your first half and half, I do not know what you're going to say. It is how many times I've voted off and off, how many tried once that time. That's the only time I've ever tried a half and I know and weren't doing them.


But that maybe maybe just not as popular as what you think it might be.


But it's not like there's nothing fucking different. Nothing different. I can't believe they've brought it back.


Buck that talking about that schedule a bit.


That looks a bit. I might get one for the cross.


You love dominos am I get half Marguerita and half Margueritte with extra cheese and see if I can see which side is which.


There you go. Yeah. Why don't I just pop up like a curb.


Why don't you really try and push, push your luck and get Margueritte put. Just get me a slice of bellinis.


I don't have to do Ballinasloe. What.


Oh God. They don't do bodies. Oh pizza. No Domino's. Stop saying words. No.


Well I think they do like ground beef though. Do I grow. Oh. Oh my God. That's exactly what Polynesia's pollinates is the sauce and everything. But you'll have to go kill ground beef ground beef on a pizza. Can you.


I might actually know it. This I might actually know they do have an again, can I have a slice of a slice of meatballs slice a pepperoni slice of, you know, vegetable slice of chicken, Texas barbecue.


Yeah, I'm a bit hungry. I fucking mess.


I wouldn't want to work. You have done it again. I know.


What a massive pasta yesterday about 4:00 o'clock we put a pizza in the oven.


Well because Robbins' Claman when he comes home from school Mr Claman and I'm like right well I might as well make Walti now and then by nine o'clock we're putting on extra stuff. Robidoux Babaji Babadook. Was he really?


Yes. I think I might genuinely be losing my mind and having some kind of breakdown because I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm really looking forward to all mysteries. I knew it anyway. It's got us OK.


Here we go. It's a little bit special this week and I think this is going to really cheer you up. Fantastic. So I couldn't. Work out how to do it properly, so it's a little bit OK. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Are you are you trying to tell me that it's a little bit rushed, never met. I won't believe no one ever know it. There's no way. No, it must be spot on the high professional.


Yeah, of course. All right.


Sorry you missed his mistress. Oh, well, I'm giving you. I believe that every guy. What you are. I'm looking at this. No, we have not 100 biscuits. Have you had any biscuits? It's a mystery and it is.


So this week is brought to you by Robin's mysteries. Midwifing couldn't get him to do it along with the theme tune know, just that he was actually busy on the toilet while I did. That did sound very bathroom.


So we tried to get him to do it and make any sense to trying to hear it just by itself. Yeah, very. Three, if you missed this one, I had no one to do this.


No idea.


Well, I never knew. And I believe that every guy. It's why it's just and has everything to do with.


Oh, I know you listen to a podcast and, you know, I was walking around the supermarket with them today, sitting on the you sit in the trolley and I got one of them Nutella dip hot. Yeah, right. And it was the worst I've ever seen in the supermarket today. Right. Dead Amyas.


And no one. They loved it. Right. Is eaten is the old Nutella things with the little breadsticks. You're the ones I mean. Yeah, you finished all the breadsticks and then he stuck his finger in the Nutella and got a big load of the Nutella on his finger.


Let's go to an abandoned well, sometimes dozens of islands. And then we went down the aisle and for some reason, there was just so many people in the aisle and he just held his finger and just showed his voice, daddy eaten poo.


And I just I was out really, really.


You know, every aisle has been fucking deserted.


Every aisle has been a hundred percent deserted. And then we walk down.


This is the cheese aisle. And it was fucking loads of people. I was like made that Robin went to school last week and he's absolutely loving it back to his normal self. It's great.


But the first day, gentlemen, when we were like, how was school today? What was the first thing you said? You went, Mummy, somebody pumped. But the teacher didn't hear.


But I did. You have school. But I'm so glad you enjoyed that. Come on, the what's mystery?


OK, DeRosa and Chris. Oh, I've been sitting on this story for a while now, but wasn't sure where it would fit in your podcast.


But with the newly reformatted Rosie's mysteries, I think it fits perfectly.


Wow. Please read till the end. I think you're going to love it. Wow.


A Muslim couple of years back, me, my then boyfriend were walking home from a night out mid walk. He stops and announces he needs to go with the toilet.


Thinking he meant for a week, I suggested he do it over a wall. Jesus, without hesitation, he turned round and dropped trou.


Is that a thing? I mean, drop trou.


That is someone who says dropped trousers so much to make it so I don't want to drop trou.


Oh, is that is that a posh way of saying it? And we just don't know about it. I don't know. Dropped travel, but what sort. Orridge has saved a few words there because it's he turned around and took his trousers down or dropped his trousers just dropped.


So I like. Yeah. Wow.


It's like when the government dropped out from stay at home and it was just stay home. Oh yeah. I lived in California.


Dropped, dropped, dropped from flagstick excuse dropped from dropped from proceeding to sit on the side of the wall and take a shit. The worst in someone's God the worst.


I was surprised but in my drunken state I laughed it off and let them get on with his business. Good for the compost. Right cigarette.


Horrible little comedian John Love honestly. Right. If I had a little front wall, you wouldn't know how I was thinking like Knee-High yet saw someone hang in there also.


When me wall in the middle of the night, I would open the door so quietly, all the lights off on the doors and party and would just roll up behind them.


And I would just fucking hoof them as hard as I could.


Yes, I'd get shot Michu, but it would be so, you know, you'd get done. I would. You'd get done. The police come and they'd go where arresting you for assaulting you'd go.


They were shit in and garden to go over. OK, you started that with the smoking gun. I mean, shit you crazy.


It's a cruel world we live in. Honestly, what can you do?


So name there's a pandemic shitting over people's Gosnells. Heavens to Betsy.


Cut to the next morning when he realized he had lost his wallet. Good serves them right. Must have lost it at the rugby club. He thought he phoned them and asked if there was any lost property handed in from the previous night. But they said no, we hadn't been anywhere else is we live walking distance to the venue, so the only other option was losing it on the way home.


Remembering his toilet stop in the random garden, he concluded it must have fallen out of his pocket there. So we went back to the house to see if it was anywhere lying around.


We arrived at the garden and peeked over the wall, but the bullet was nowhere to be seen. My boyfriend was also confused as the shit he had done there the previous night. He assured me it was a whopper.


Had disappeared, maybe he'd got the wrong house, I thought, but he was adamant it was the correct one at that moment, the woman who lived at the house came outside and asked if she could help.


My boyfriend explained that he had lost his wallet and was looking around to find it. He asked her if she had found one in her garden that morning and she said. Mistress, mistress, what do you think she said, says the mistress, this is the bit where you need to guess this is the new format. OK.


OK, I'll tell you how long it's going to last. Not very long, because if the answer is no, it's the shortest email ever. The answer is yes. So what did she say? Yes, she found it it was it was in a big pile of shit. I was in some dog shit. Is that what you're going for? That's my guess. It was an abduction. Yeah, something like. She said, Was it you shadow me tortas?


Apologize, I apologize wholeheartedly.


You could have gave me a year, but I would have come up with was it you shot on me tortoise turned out she had a pet tortoise that roamed around the garden and my boyfriend had unknowingly taking a shit on its back before it was all the way the vanishing poo.


Wow. Needless to say, he sheepishly made his excuses and left, canceling all his cards immediately and dying of shame. Dying of shame. Only when he found out that he shut on the tortoise.


Let me come out not dying in the night that he dropped trou and dropped it off over the back of the bloody well. Good, shameful, shameful.


That was three years ago. A tortoise.


But that tortoise from the door. But the water from the walls sorry, bought the dog must have been a lot longer.


I think I've put on a bit with Christmas. Sabado Babadook. It's time for what's your beef? What's the beef. Ladies first.


What to beef my beef with you this week. You hinted at this earlier on, didn't you? Yes. OK, so recently and I don't know why.


I don't know with it if you've done it always.


But it's just annoying is at the minute because we are spending every busted goddamn day together. Yeah.


Um, recently for some reason, whether you're eaten now or you are doing the DIY, you see your finger, it's not like anything. There's loads of horrible, you know, instead of just trying to get inside of that number one spot. Oh.


But all by yourself and still by in fact, you know, you've got your fingers all the time, the minute. And if you don't do it in a nice way, you do it like in a so you put something in the microwave the other day and you cut it out.


You had a bit of food, you know. Almost like an old bloke, like, look, anything like anyone else would just kind of go. Took it off and not really made much of a noise, but you're like when you cut your finger yesterday, dunam wardrobe in the blood out, I could tell you stop it didn't have any left.


And yes, I cut deals. No, I cut at all. And husband, who is a hard working husband, is doing DIY, putting up wardrobes because she's Neston and she wants all kinds done at the drop of a hat. And I cut under both metho nails and they were bleeding and I was trying to suck the blood off so that I wouldn't get on the white wardrobes of the carpet. And the she's like, you're going to have to stop that.


I'm going to have to leave.


I should just to wear them. By the way, while you sat in the corner, while I do not, you actually said the words while I was putting them together. You actually said the words. I'm really enjoying sitting here doing nothing.


That was nice because I haven't done that for a while. So syndrome's. Oh yeah.


Well, you know, you go but your new little videos to watch have you another time ways I've done nothing for you. Do nothing all the time.


How dare you. How did this job for you just being.


Oh no no no it's not my beef at all. I've got a go before. You had it before you know you obviously honestly you made a right twat of yourself this week.


Well, if I don't write my beef with you this week. Right. You went to our office, an office that will go work.


Oh, no. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you went to the office. OK, what about the office.


I'm going to got some questions from the public and blah blah blah do but works. It could be in the house. No problem. All I'll continue doing the Deguara. You probably come back and have a go at as falling around if I cut my finger or enjoy myself in the line of duty.


Now the doorbell rang. It was a midwife. A midwife appointment with you. Yeah. You hit the roof. If I leave the house and an Amazon delivery comes that I was waiting for anything, literally I leave and the window cleaner comes in your phone and go out the window.


I was coming by the window.


Right. You live in a tower and you haven't seen fucking humanity like an idiot, right?


Do I like people coming in the house?


The guy's gonna fix the window. I've got to fix the kitchen is going to cut us up. Idiot. Right.


Not now. Bless us because with no noise midwife. She's lovely. She's just absolutely lovely. I actually because I panicked, I don't know what to do so I let her in. I tell you I'm gonna write a letter and tell you what I'm going to pick Rose from the office.


It's two minutes away.


I'll go and get out because I'd walk down like a Moga. Yeah. Yeah, totally forgot. The weirdest part was I put the telly on Friday and CBB Jasanoff, Robin and I went to use Kikue and she said, oh, I'll be fine.


And when I eventually came back she was CBS AP she didn't know how to use Kikue or maybe she didn't want to touch the remote or disinfects says I don't know I yeah.


So I went out to get you. I found you on my way right. And I went the midwifes here by the way and you were like, oh shit. And I want you. What happened to your left. I wouldn't have let her in. She's just sitting and watching the telly. I'll come and get you. I'll come straight up.


You are the audacity, the absolute bare faced cheek to say to me, where is your front room?


A back room.


And I went back room and you went, Oh, but the bathroom's a mess, you cheeky fucking dick.


I don't. Well, I couldn't believe it. You might learn a little bit of house etiquette.


You need a little bit of time management and knowing when someone's coming round the bloomin scam your child. I forgot.


OK, I forgot. I set an alarm. It all is the day before. And naively I thought, oh, I'll remember that. But I didn't remember that. So I'm sorry.


I forgot. Forgot. All right. I forgot. Anyway, next time you bring someone in the house who doesn't come regular. Right. Who doesn't know that we're not pigs.


Yeah. Put them in the nice room. Right. Sit them in the good room after liberty got a good room that never nothing ever moves. Nobody goes in there really. Put them in, they don't put them in the flipping, the cereal stuck to the carpet, CBIZ is on the train tracks going across the floor.


Don't put them money in the good room.


You got to put them in there. So I think the thing all these live like pigs is not in this deal. That's what you've got to.


I hope she didn't say I'd clipped Robin's nails on the carpet earlier and I hadn't. Rubidium.


You ready for part two? Maybe. What is your report to me before we went through the front room, which got I got room when she got here and she was doing all the midwife stuff on you. Right. And you every single day.


Every single day. And tired of pregnancy. Why do I feel sick? Indigestion. Why am I not good or what's wrong with us. Chris, what's wrong with us. Oh my God. A massive. Oh God. Oh not SARS. Oh, what's happening. Oh, God. Midwife how we have how are you finding the pregnancy?


Rosie Fine. Yeah, I'm great.


Just great. Breezed through. Not an issue. I nearly fucking exploded.


Well I've never I've never felt so betrayed in almost.


All right, OK, well let's just clarify here. Right. And think when you midwife asks you that question, I don't think she means how you do in like. Did you mean to eat them nine packets of Monster Munch night's.


I don't think she's asking that, I think she's asking more so like how how do you feel? Is the baby kicking things like that? Not bloody sick. In my life, I had been pregnant. I want to down a bottle of gin.


Not she doesn't need to know that just a little even a little thing, even just a little sense of of being a little bit not. But, you know, don't we all as being pregnant.


I think this say that definitely didn't. It's up there with the level of betrayal you feel when your child's really, really well behaved for a teacher. And you look at you go, who the fuck is that? That it was up there with that?


Well, I'm sorry, but that's what honestly, I thought you didn't apologize.


What am I apologize for being pregnant. I'm tired. Absolutely not.


But yes, Michelle Libia so I'm not sure she said it a good deal.


And Michelle, I want a vase you stole. I'm talking Victorville's dooby dooby dooby dooby.


It's time for questions from the public, from the pews and the queen, from the people who keeps the peace.


I like that little guys, as always, if you want to get in touch is shocked. Margaret annoyed at Gmail dot com. Send us absolutely anything. Will love you.


Thank you. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I have a question that's been bothering me for quite a while, OK? And there's no man that I'm close enough to that I feel I can ask this. So this one's for Chris. Wow. Or not just for you.


I'm honored. OK, come on. You might not be.


Oh, God, you might be. What do you do with your willy when you have a poo? Does it lay on the toilet seat? Is it dangling in the bowl? Does it even touch the underneath bit of the toilet seat or the rim of the bowl bit where the water comes out? When you flush, what do you do in public bathrooms? I need to know because I literally lay awake at night thinking about it. How the fuck is this?


It's someone, I think, who's watched a lot of porn and doesn't realize that average Joes willies are not long enough to die in the water bowl.


Listen, listen.


Right. Yes, it dangles in the water when that toilet's blocked at the rim because it was he wouldn't write a book lunatic type thing.


And does it lay on the toilet seat with a gap that isn't it?


Does it lay on the toilet seats? So they think that I sit in the acutely on the toilet seat if you wanted it to it.


Yeah, I could go, go, go.


No, we've got really well already mortality.


I could survive Sydney flaccid beaners. It couldn't lay on the toilet seat. Right. You'd have to be right.


You're right. OK, pause a podcast right now. Paul's podcast right now. Take your headphones off. Come on.


All right. Hurry up. Hurry up.


One nil. It does OK. It does.


It can sit on the on the rim of the toilet seat.


Listen, the problem is it can't lie on the lid of the toilet seat. Whoever sent this in, Mrs. Mrs Maniac. Right.


Because because with every this is so this is the rudest we've ever gotten. Right. With every push. Well push of of of doom. No. Two. Oh no. No one comes out so we could live on the toilet seat but what lunatic would lie on the toilet seat because you would just be all over whatever's in front of you.


Does that happen. Yes. No. Yes. Is that meant to happen, Chris? Oh, I see. I find this juvenile and disgusting and pathetic.


But are they literally women listening now going, oh, does that happen? Well, I didn't know that men. Yeah.


When you go up every time when you go to these, you do you do a little bit. Once he says no way, yes. We might get emails. That might be something you might need as well.


Why? Oh, because I can't lie me on the toilet because you're bleeding every time. But he's also just a slob.


You go with what you just saw. There was a sample of your sight. It's horrible.


Honestly, it's put me off for a while and looking like it's good job that we're already pregnant. There's going to be a lot of blokes doing this, I think from now on. I'm sorry, I didn't. It did really fit as well.


I'm sorry, mate.


You got my mate off, honestly.


Oh, gosh, honey, what is the. That is the weirdest email. I know. Such a weird personal question. Yeah.


That's up there with the weird person on Twitter now and then who asks for socks and that of people.


Well, I would do an office pool, but I've only just got a new job and I'm not close to them. It's.


It is as well, and I haven't been with my boyfriend for very long enough to ask him why you don't know me, I have to start an account when you sorry. When you object, do you have you know, I mean, does it touch the ways you can.


I can I.


So it was you say no, I just need to sit him for human resources because I'm going to report you because how long you worked here.


Yeah. And your desk. Three hours now. That's how long you worked here. As long as it took us to type up this questionnaire for you while you're at at the urinal bowls in our out.


I mean, fucking Robidoux Bapineuzumab. A double, double, double. How are you, Chris and Rosie? Please keep me anonymous.


Always thought you would like to hear about an awful deal I had with a guy from everyone's favorite dating app, Tinder.


Yeah, Tinder. Oh, hold on. I'll stop you right there.


All right. Because I feel as a duty to email a while ago if someone and I've kept it in my computer just for a moment, I guess. Right. Hi, Chris.


And Rosie, after listening to the most recent podcasts you have mentioned several times, after some, quite frankly, horrific stories from Tinder brackets, the guy with the dildo shelf is, quite frankly, the most disturbing thing I've ever heard in my life.


Calls by both brackets.


I feel duty bound to share with you that I met my boyfriend on Tinder after the breakdown of my 11 year marriage, and I can honestly say I have never been happier. I guess I just wanted to see. But there are some good eggs out there and those poor sods that are still swiping their way through the masses, their time will come. Big hoax and massive.


Congrats on the new baby, Hannah and Josh. Thank you, Hannah and Josh. There you go. That's really lovely. But unfortunately, I don't think anybody really wants to hear about the lovely love stories that people have found on Tinder.


I just wanted to say, Hannah, Josh, you're in the minority. Rosie, tell us the weird. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that is lovely. I know a few people I've met on dating sites. Dating sites are great. The new way to meet people, but unfortunately, I don't think would be on as many downloads as we are if we just talked about the good stuff. Exactly. We're here for the grim. Yeah, the ugly and the thing we can't even just piss off your born bastard.


Thank you.


Well, don't see where you come from anyway, so keep it attention of the date. I was talking to this guy for a few weeks over social media that I met on Tinder. Seemed like a nice guy and was actually interested in more than a shag.


I drove to his house and we went to a local pub from there for a drink. We had a lovely date and he seemed like a nice guy. When we got back to his, he invited me upstairs and one thing led to another, oh, God, this is not me at all. So I have no idea why I went through with it. But it's done now. Wow. To everyone says yeah.


Oh yes, me first time. Oh my God, I'll never do this. I'll never do this on a one on the first night. Never. Yes, I am freshly shaved.


That's funny that just in case we then went downstairs to where his parents were sat in the living room.


Good grief, he walked out the room and said he was going to get something. So I was left awkwardly with a guys family who definitely just heard us having sex.


Was a little he walked back in with something in his hand. You will never guess what he had.


I should have done this for Rosie's mysteries yet.


Baby doc, baby chick frog. No more, no salt, some salt, no lamp.


No, that's a little tawakol.


This guy brought in a list of eight percent of girls he had shagged and added my name to the letter E in front of his parents.


Go and piss off. Hey, there is no way he discussed how the sex went in front of his parents and then proceeded to read out the names of girls he had checked and how many of each name he had, what he had nearly filled every letter with a name and with several on each letter.


What the fuck? No, I made the excuse.


I needed to go home as it was getting late. I mean the excuse I need to go home as soon as it was getting absolutely horrendous.


I believe that that's no way to know what it is.


There is part of his act cause that's not real. But then this part goes well. Why would somebody it's a really random thing. I think it might be as mom and dad doing.


I just. Oh, Geoffrey, do you think they turned the telly down? Probably the probably cause of him, yeah.


Oh, my God. Got any B's. Got any Z's soon.


Got like sex scrabble. I know. Horrible, isn't it.


Oh, I can't I can't get my head around that. You can imagine him going through the list.


I, I'm going, oh hey, look at this. I filled it up. I let them go. All I needed was each hand.


That's great. And then she's like, sorry, no, my name's Ana. And he's like, your fucking joke.


And his dad's like, Son, for fuck's sake, Brian, you know how old. Twenty six. Have you you never listen. You know that does it, Derek. You don't do you do Babalu. Babalu.


But I and Chris just remember a funny story from a few years back that you might enjoy.


I beat the Grania market new car that was in Newcastle and bought a large squid from one of the fishmongers to use it as fishing bait.


I already I already hate where this is.


I just I've been I've just been affected by this podcast. No, it's not. I've been affected by the policy. I don't know who's been in the green promoted by a squid.


I am a bit annoyed that you bought a squid to take fishing. Is using it as bait. Yeah. Yeah. I think squid is quite a nice thing. I feel like that's a bit of a waste. Yeah, you could use maggots for bait.


Well it might be really good. I don't know much about fishing.


I just think squid squid surely is a bit of a delicacy. And isn't that some sort of like not incest, cannibalism, cannibalism, incest.


No fish, fishing work. What you do, Polya, Rodo and the fish is just fucking the hook on.


Come on, put us back in the water. I need some privacy. It's eating it. Amend. That's what I meant. It was the wrong word.


Cannibalism, the food chain. No, no. The only children that meets everyone in the ocean.


OK, let's call it nothing but decadent. I mean it is a bit.


Yeah. So if he's taken squid is when the Grangemouth taken calamari to go catch a little and a couple of Dedalus.


That's like this, this is in the Northeast as well. He actually goes fishing in Sunderland and Newcastle so I go pass the ball.


Yeah well that's where he's fishing. Go past everything. What do you have. Squid.


I wouldn't have guessed. No, no, I tell you what, they're a ragtag bunch of individuals. The guys fishing at on Pier.


I don't I don't mean it's not going to interfere, but I'm not the most comfortable when I go past fucking loads of them.


And they're all like like blokes like scary. They're just standard fishing for the oldest. A little bit frightening. We've got a lot of fish there.


But so anyway, I just. The fact that someone has e-mailed our podcast and he's just purchased a fresh squid, I don't like where it's going to go.


Well, I don't know where it's going. Let's just see where it goes. Right. So he's got his he's got his squid. He's got his squid for the fish and bait.


We're all on the next day, me and my cousin, he was about eight when fishing next to the Classon. I mean, Sunnyland, I'm guessing he's a man and the cousins eat or whatever. I don't know. It must be a but was a few years ago.


It might be a teenager knows the dad being quite dull. You never have guessed, especially in fish fishing. Never the world. Don't forget, I've got to say, like, hey, you know what?


No, I'm going to slug them off punchable or unfocussed.


What fishing you pull in as I was doing spawners out. You know, I wanted to know how many supermarkets there are, you know, how many supermarkets with fish in you walk past on the way to the pier.


But you know my opinion on fishing. What's your opinion? Well, my boyfriend made us went fishing with him once. Did he?


I don't know if you said this on the boat. No. You guys go fishing.


We used to love fishing and I just hated it, made it go with him. It was freezing cold and he put up a tent for us and I was just raging.


Sorry, sorry. We haven't spoken about this. I don't even know if I know this.


So can I just say. Right, can I just say, oh, I have got the short end of the stick here. I'm I'm you. I'm too good to you.


What do you mean. This is the same boyfriend I used to, used to go the driving range and sit and watch him go.


Just sit there like a fucking like a little, a little Garberville perched back before when I had children and that and that, you know.


And now I'm too good. You honestly you've you've struck gold.


You used to take it to the body drive right where that where you're going. And I love to go for a meal.


We're going to drive in range love. You'll sit and watch me hit balls. It wasn't for me. It just sounds better and then.


No, no. I hear he's gone fishing and he's just put you up a little time for you to sit in America magazines like another one of these magazines, a little tent. It's awful. Where was it?


I don't know that it was one of them. It was like reservoir where you've got to go, but then you got to put the fish back in.


I was waiting. I was like, this is brightness.


I can't even eat the fish. Wow. Yeah, but I mean, the the when I knew when it came to the end of the relationship, I need more information. Well, I knew it was at the end the relationship when he was going the golf course and asked us to walk around with him. I said no, I can't do this anymore.


And that's why you rather sit on the bench at the driving range than walk around the. That was what, Kristaps one time? Yeah, it was. Well, no, I used to that was quite fun.


I used to offer well this is the woman, this is the woman who won't even play a game of pool with me in the pool. On the pool table. That's in the next room.


This is honestly, you went fishing and honestly, I'm a patriot, you went and sat in a little tent, you put a little hole entertainment, put the tent up.


I remember it was just like a little covered thing. It was really cold. I really had a but it was a horrible day.


No, I want to see the full digs you, like, paid for the phone and it would have to drive this car.


Oh, I don't know any fishermen going to overdose.


Other fishermen worried about dogs. He's just brought a fucking woman to sit in a tent and read magazines and wingin.


It was really Ozzy, will you shut up on your wingin scare and all the fish off trying to relax?


I was just seething. But anyway, he's a nice guy. That's just.


No, I'm not I'm not saying it's not going. You are forgotten. I'm stalking you off. You won't even play pool with me.


Why do you think? Because I've been dragged everywhere. He really he ruined it for you sitting in a little town maccracken with this storm.


You know what? No, we can't because I'm know because I'm so angry. And also the phrase I'd rather watch paint dry for me is now being replaced with. I'd rather sit in a tent, watch someone fish that is the worst day, sit in a tent in the cold water.


Someone is the worst thing about you.


I don't even think you call anything that day. I don't fucking how you talk to me, wouldn't it. I do that.


You got anything though anyway. Right. So can we crack on.


Yeah. My my life's just changed. The system is great.


So they've got this squid and they've got some land to fish. Yeah. Did being quite dull.


Never until something amazing happened. Out in the corner of my eye we saw a woman and a dog walking in our direction.


The woman shouted, don't let him eat anything.


But by this point it was already too late. The dog had picked up the huge squid I bought the day before I started hacking it short.


I said that that was really weird. Wow. The woman started shouting, Kick it, kick it.


Do so without any thought. My cousin gave the dog a swift kick slow quite a bit.


So you can guess what I tried telling him off, but I was laughing too hard. He's put in brackets. I don't condone animal cruelty, by the way. It was just the circumstance. And his cousin was jailed and we don't either.


But it was to show it kicking and then she went off it. She meant to scream.


She didn't mean her dog. We have to kick this kick, kick, kick it and put it.


Oh, well, at least the kid's only eight, so it can't be the whole.


And he didn't mean to do it at all.


But why not for periods and what she was to be not my dog, you little boy.


And the question is, have either of you been in a hilarious or embarrassing situation where you have not quite understood the context of something someone else is asking you to do?


Oh, I kind of. I have often taught me how to call anything of one specific.




But with all of like the this whole covid stuff and having masks on and how to do these One-Way systems and stuff in supermarkets, I was only by the idea by Guy and I went into a supermarket and I had my helmet on and how many sunglasses on and how many. Muskan Right. Yeah.


And I walked in and I was getting some bottles of beer on the corner for the fall.


It was Saturday night I was getting some Bonson night and because you got your mask on and look at the was system, Levon's going on me, I'm not good. And I just walked up to the fridge because I was one of those moments where it was like I wasn't thinking straight and I just picked up the bottles and I just thought I'd put them in my backpack and I was just like shoveling them in.


And I turned and it was like a woman walking down the aisle at work there, like glare.


And I and I went, oh, uh, I should probably pay for these shouldn't. And she went home and I was like, oh, I was like, you.


You think you've just called me Falkenstein, haven't I was like, you honestly think I was I wasn't even embarrassed. I was angry.


Like, I was angry that she and again, it's the masks, like you can't convey cannot see emotion.


So she was like, I just caught you stealing.


You're going to pay for it. You know, you can get off with it. And I was like, oh, and then when I got to the counter, I was her servants and I went, oh, finally pay for the there and then I'll pay it for themselves. And I was like, now I'm going back. And she was like, you can. And I was like, you fuck. And there was no way that though.


But there was no there was no way out of it. There's no way I was really embarrassed, but there was no way out of being able to go like, you know, Jamie Moskalenko. Listen, I wasn't because the more I went, you know, I wasn't stealing them. It would have been like, well, you were you were have caught.


You so dost protest, too. I thought about, um, on the one you didn't my mom, when she went into Sainsbury's, I said this on the watch. I don't know how many people saw want to. But again, when there's so many things going on in I think mom was so worried about put a mask on, she walked in from the rain in Sainsbury's, put a mask on, and she was walking around and she says all the stuff was staring at us for ages.


And she was like, why is everyone staring at us? I got my mask on. Was everyone stare? And a woman came up. Might you know, you can put your Brawley's.


It's just what is Broglio looking like a dodgem dooby dooby dooby deros increase.


He is a little story for you. I've listened to every one of your podcasts and I've now plucked up the courage to send you this story. Oh, imagine Christmas Eve. You go out your family for a lovely meal, play a few games when you get home. Sure. It's guess who posted notes on your head. You know, the standard Christmas games, it's getting close to 12:00, which obviously means bedtime at even at the age of 32.


Now, I still feel twelve o'clock to my limit on Christmas Eve.


I have to agree with that. Go before I go. I see it in my fiancee, who I've been with for seven years, that it's time to go upstairs. His reply. Go up, babe.


I'll be up in a minute as I've got one more present wrap and gives me a wink. Oh no. So off I goes. Penis.


Would you stop. Gets still penis. No, absolutely not. OK, so off I go excitedly thinking I wonder what he's got me. I get in my Christmas pages, do all the pre-bid pampering and remember that I've left my phone charger downstairs. Oh yeah. As I passed my dad on the landing he says I've left them wrapping presents in the living room. So I creep downstairs as I didn't want them. My mom and my fiancee.


Oh, I think I was trying to spoil a Christmas surprise. Oh no. As I get to the bottom of the stairs, I hear some strange noises coming from the living room. I can't, however, carry on the kitchen. The noises continue. So I pressed my ear against the wall and think, what on earth are they watching? It sounds like porn.


Oh, for fuck's sake. On Christmas Eve. What's wrong with everyone?


I remember that I've left my drink in the lounge, so think I'll use that as an excuse to pop back in and have a look at. What were they are watching? They can easily hide any guesses as I opened the door to my horror. I see my fiancee. Looking out, my mom. No way on earth that no, no, she repeated it.


Yes, my fiancee. Fellatio.


No, it was what I scream.


I mean, what else was I supposed to do that my dad comes rushing down and I tell him or he tells them both to get out of the house. I haven't spoken to either of them since. It's been five years and Christmas has never been the same again.


Christmas Eve will always be known as the night my fiancee looked out. Me?


Yeah, they don't do a card for us.


You know what it was? It was the saddest thing about all this was supposed to get the pie.


Oh, we all kind of just see what's in the past, but we also saw how horrible it is.


It's awful, but there's a happy ending. OK, sort of obviously a lot has happened since.


And I'm now happily married with two kids. Oh, so listen.


Yeah. OK, InFocus. Yeah. Wow. Intense.


That is not. My God. No. Though it might be gossipy, that one isn't a bit like reading one of them.


The magazines full of all the reader's life stories. Magazines. Yeah that.


Good grief. Dooby dooby dooby dooby oozy. Yeah. Yeah. But I've got a question for you actually. What. This is so weird and random.


I was watching you being framed that night and there's a lot of there was a sports special and a lot of people falling over hurdles. Yeah. What school did you do, real hurdles or did you do pretend hurdles.


I don't think we did hurdle's at all because my school didn't have hurdles, but we just set up a 100 meter track. Yeah, and every sort of 10 meters, the teacher show a Joe.


And that's not a lie, and I wish it was and it's not like so, so you would run from the field would be to run and like and then you just go jump and you both have to jump over a few more steps, then go jump and then a few more steps and you go jump in and be like, oh like you wouldn't have all of them.


You went wow. But he was he wins.


That's interesting. Yeah. Just, just felt like you need to know. I didn't know that and I don't I don't remember doing hurdle's at all. No. So I never did hurdle's, I did a little of a I was very good at it.


No, I was terrible at running at school like Schocken. I remember doing like crosscountry, but it was basically just it was a jogger around the bottom of the field.


And what used to happen was there was teachers like spread out, make sure you were jogging. But then when you all right at the other end of the field, you couldn't see you. Me and my friends used to just walk, but lift your knees up really high to look.


And so we just were so happy that they must have realized that.


Now, thinking back, that's a terrible thing, because you would just know we did that for years.


I remember once I went on, I did like a cross-country run like like I think it was through the school, but it was like on a Saturday somewhere this big, like, massive cross-country run with loads of runners like like the Shel's Harriers got team.


And then they took part in all the people took part.


And you talk about the great authorized.


It wasn't fun and it wasn't it wasn't a joke. I thought it was just a big run. And I remember I did I sort of it was like three times round this like, massive field kind of thing. And I thought the second time round was the third one. And we got to like, what was the finish line?


And I like fucking pegged it and like overtook like two people.


Yeah. And it was one lap left and like I just spoke to the absolute IBEW Babloo Bacteroides increase.


I thought you'd enjoy this wee story for my single days.


Worst accent ever. Yeah. Well, you're from Scotland. I think you just wee wee so so is the Scottish and it's a story from a single D know and it's a wee story.


Oh no, no it's not about. We're right. Sorry you got to check with somebody I know. Well yeah. It's not, it's, it's just a small car you got, you got a few years ago I went to Brugge with a girlfriend of mine for a weekend.


She and I had a great time tasting all the beers and I had managed to convince an old travelling friend, let's call him Steve, to come visit on the Saturday from Brussels.


What are you laughing at? Let's just let's call him Steve. Just any name.


Pick a name. Let's call him Steve.


Do you know what's funny? The whole story is not it's not actually that embarrassing, Steve.


OK, so the fact that she's changed his name, I wish he wants anyone to use the power of deduction and find out, OK, I mean, fair enough.


I quite fancied Steve when we were travelling. And whilst he was definitely not boyfriend material, you still quite cool and good looking. OK, ok. Anyway, a day and evening of drinking and laughter later and we convinced Steve to Mrs Last train back to Brussels and stay with us. We said us girls could top and tail in a bunk in our hostel and he could have the other bunk and as there was no rooms left.


Hey, how the other half lives I more. Hey, well we'll talk to you later.


Hey Steve. Hey, miss your train. We'll stop until in a bunk bed in a hostel because all the other beds are taken so fucking even.


And you have the other second hand used last night. It's for yourself not inviting them.


My that's not. I would go. I'll get my train. That's leaving the train station. I'm all over that. I'll just stand there.


Just stand the train station till the morning the next.


Really I probably would probably just under or sit in the corner. Well, instead of sleeping in a bunk and hostel in a hostel, million percent, yeah, that's what around in the corner, the station. Yeah, I don't believe that for a second. Well, I think you would regret that. I think you'd be stood in the corner of that train station thing and I could be in a bed right now.


Well, this is pre lockdown, so it wouldn't be a 10:00, you know, 10:00 or whatever. You go to a nightclub or whatever you could go to and then you go to McDonald's or something.


You are explaining the new school year, but then you go and stand just on to the train station.


Yeah, but then you'd get that really, you know, when you're so tired, you know, when you're travelling and you so tired that you want to just die, that's what you'd be feeling like in that train station. And you know what's worse than death? A bunk bed in a hostel, right?


Well, fair enough. So we stumbled in fairly pissed in our dorm and the girls in the their bunk seemed quite annoyed that we brought them back and we were making noise. Yeah, sounds like you're kind of dumb.


It's I don't book a bed in a room full of beds and be surprised when someone comes in and make some noise. Yeah. Like you haven't you're not at the fucking Waldorf Astoria. People are going to come in.


So it's it's hard for us to understand because it's something that we've never done. Yeah. And I don't think it's because well, me personally, by any means being posh or anything like that, just hostel and travel and life I've never ever done. But I can't ever imagine. Going to sleep next to a stranger in the city in the same room, I can't imagine it unless I was in prison.


Well, your thing at the minute is to just stop me snoring. So you just be walking out the room all night showing everyone all I can say you're snoring.


Stop snoring. Summit. Don't you think I would have you ever heard you snoring, by the way? Now you tend to snoring. They think that what you just asked me, have I ever heard myself snoring?


Oh, you of you lost your mind. Would you like to hear yourself snoring if you recall it again, maybe I have a foxy.


Do you want to live in this house? Do you actually want to do the screening that you just remind us of it? Come on then. But this is what I have to listen to six or seven times a night. And this is why I wake you up. It's up. You're going to get a shock.


It's awful crazily so bad. Yeah. You ready? OK, you know as well I doing a song like this woman. Oh, shit. Yeah, OK, I Granado clip every night, six or seven times, I swear to God.


OK, awful. And it wakes me up. Wow.


So they go, OK, that's not that I'll say last night back to the hostel, I just I totally reminded them that it's done correctly.


So the maintenance noise, the girls get pissed off.


So they started to threaten to go to the reception and get us all kicked out for sneaking someone in. Great.


Steve was in the bunk above us and was too drunk to obey orders. He would keep leaning over and saying he needed company up there as he was going to rush off to get the first train. So we had to have one girl up there in order for it, not look like we had someone there in the morning.


I mean, like a boarding school, like the check where you slept. Yeah.


What I need some company up here is the worst line in the world. By the way, I'm getting an early train in the morning. So will someone commit suicide? I mean, yeah. I mean, he's trying his best.


He's trying on trying his best. I needed no excuse. And so I said I'll go. He was clearly wanting a cheeky snog. So up I went and sure enough, his hands crept all over me and we were making out and he kept whispering just how much he liked me, he continued and said he had fancied me from the start. And hadn't it been obvious? And I said, well, no, I didn't get that vibe from you at all.


When we were travelling, he suddenly was quiet and says, Chloe, I say, yes, another long silence. Oh, shit.


At this point, I thought that he thought he had been snogging my friend and immediately got angry and kicked him out of bed.


Oh, wow. Oh, that is fantastic. Congratulations, Steve.


Your cockblock yourself.


Well, I was thinking about this, though. What would you do?


Would you just keep. Like you would have to go. Huh, Chloe, like, how or would you just keep going?


I mean, I don't know, like it would have been rude for him when he said, I need some company here to specifically say which one you want.


I mean, you sure you really should have specified which guy? Hey, guys, I got the early train in the morning. And you know what? I might rather lonely up here. I need some company, not you, Clarie anyone but you.


Gluey is probably one of you.


You play eeny meeny o'clery.


Did you not get the hint when when he was going to Mrs. Tree and offered you the train ticket so you would just walk off the process, leave you with these poor Cluley. Oh bless you.


I go oh I could have stopped that. I wouldn't be fair though. She could have been. I didn't get my then you got to be like. Chloe. Mm hmm, yeah, how could you not have got a bike so obvious now, good night.


Got headache has come on so quickly you can ask your mates if you've got any paracetamol or do you go somewhere miles away?


Do you want to go do you want to go to stand in the train station on your own? I've heard from a friend. It's really good. It's the MacDonalds on the way.


It's like Abdu Babba Dooby Dooby do. Thank you once again for listening to this week's episode of Chakma Adenoid, which is now part of the E Street. And that will tell you what the network is part of. It's part of the Patissier and Krishnamoorthi Network. We feel a bit. I was honestly reading down oldy.


Again, I wish I'd done earlier on, because I'm really chertok now and I'm really happy to be chock full bench being lovely. Guys, thank you so much for listening. I hope you all OK. Hope everything's all right. The book is out if you want. Cheering up in English literature for Hillary. The book is out with a moment. No lovely, good, nice book places as always. If I want to go and talk to Chuck Brown,


Thank you so much. And we will be following you as next week. Bye bye.


Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.