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Hello, you're listening to this week, Shackman annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsay and my sperm donor, Christopher Rausseo, sperm donor works a treat cold called it does work its work twice, so that's good.

You said this week's shark might annoyed. You've never said that before. You just see up my nose. So I think everyone. Am I right in thinking listener, did he get a shock?

Got a shock. What did I say? This week's your listen to this week's Shark Monday night. Well, I'm not going to lie. Before we started, I said to you, what do I do again?

Because. Yeah, you really did. Yeah. And I again, look made note of the episode.

No, it is to tell you, but you don't give a shit because it doesn't change anything you do to fat ladies. Is that that one village idiot. Yes, is it always good to calling your bingo call and days? Probably not say that anymore, two fatalities. Sizes, too, and assume agenda. Well, listen, our guys, I will turn off now if I was you, because she is just you've offended everyone.

I'll take it back. Listen, it eat me twice. I think not allowed is derogatory.

I think I think it's itself derogatory.

So, yeah, I think that's absolutely fine and cool and factually accurate this week.

Guys, thank you so much for listening. Lovely to be back in your E as it's episode 88. And before we continue any further, it is time for this week's lucrative sponsor. This week sponsored this week's podcast, This Entertainment where they know you like I like it the way I like it.

Kind of made a robot from your butler. What? Just keep running out of time.

But it's all right. I came to today and sorry, I got emailed from two companies to do all right.

Yes. And this is these guys are for the most part, it's OK. OK, this week sponsor is second hand bath water.

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Oh that more. And that never works does it.

Well and when you get in second hand bath water getting robbins' bath after him sometimes and I think well I tuomo hot and I'll put bubbles in because he doesn't like bubbles because he's weird and you put the bubble juice in and then I'm full of juice.

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Oh. And you go wrong with him. Horrible. Horrible. Yeah. Yeah. It never works.

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He has the jingle to remember jingle jingle bubble. We had a fight about the jingle jingle. We could sing along to jingle jingle gong. So this is the jingle jingle. We hope you like the jingle jingle Mamadou ba ba ba ba ba ba gino. Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shackman Annoyed. Hello, lovely to have you back once again and hope you're all OK.

Hey, I'll tell you something. That friend of the podcast called iTunes and told me that if we were on the phone the other day, I don't know where it came from. I don't know. I've got no idea where it came from. It just randomly went to his.

You went. Yeah. Did you used to do this thing at school? And I went, what? And he went, right, it's in our school. He went, I don't know if it was just my school now.

I don't think it was his school. I think it was just him and I went to his school. OK, well, that's do right. He said in his school. What would happen is if one of the lads would get up to see you.

All right.

And in like a book, are you what you do when you work for John or whatever, one of the largest stand up and go somewhere in the classroom or go to the toilet or whatever? Right. Another lad on that table would stick their hands in their pants, pull a massive handful of pubes out and drop it all over the page. Right.

And then they'd like get back and be like, oh, like but they'll be like, oh, no, that was it. Sorry, apparently if someone else caught them doing it.

But I mean, well, I put my pubes on like Tom's book, so all allowed to come over and just be like a massive pile of pubic people's pants on this lads book.

And he's come back and be like, oh no. And then call was like, what? You run a risky game?

Because if you were the one who started, you sat right next to them, that would just pick the fuck up and blow them up.

Oh, my word.

Is that the thing that actually happened, right? Well, one friend's not amongst my peers. It didn't it might it was a bit on.

This might have been pretty holy island when I was going to see if these guys just been a whole island.

The whole. Yeah, I know. It probably happened. That was around the same time as a mountain pine. Right. OK, do you remember the cheese? The pizza. Was that American Pie. What film was that. Where the put pubes and pizza and you had to eat the pizza. Right.

Well that wasn't a film. It was dirty. Sanchez with a did it with us.

It was on a film. It was on a film. I think it was, it was a cheese. The one just Googled it. It was on cheese all out.

She's all she's all that which was at nineteen ninety nine, which was comprehensive. Yeah. I was in year I think I was in year nine by then to call would have been in year it probably for the pubes. So yeah that probably did happen. I was just the worst thing to call would have eaten it full of pubes. I call is immature. I got pooped very late.

I don't think, I don't think I've had them to. If someone got all the glass honestly were you like, oh this is disgusting this game.

Oh yes, a little bit. I'm not, I'm not. Get me one cultivated and pubes out for this thing. I am kind of fucking mogg. It's got school disco on Friday. I'm not wasted Maipu.

I should also note let me warn you and yet know that probably did happen at our school. Yeah.

Lovely school but full of movie school but lovely school. But the cleaner didn't have to hoover up constantly get new movies.

I was knackered robidoux a ba ba ba ba. Something dangerous has happened recently. Something dangerous. Yeah. For the first time in my life. Yeah. Bear in mind I've had a bank account since I was eleven. Nice and early avallone my bank details off my heart. Oh fuck I know. Oh God.

So as long as I don't mind you know that genuinely Avelino too. That's too many numbers. Yeah. It took us years and years and years to learn them. And what used to happen was what I would find happening is I would be on my laptop buying something on my phone and then my card would be like the side of the house in my bag and I'd go and then I'd not buy the thing. I don't do that anymore.

So you've you've learnt you haven't let your bank dispute. You call details. Yeah. What's expiry date?

Why not tell anyone you can see your expiry date. Twenty, twenty two. Right.

You've got what you've only got, you know, a year and a half more of that and then you have to learn a new one is me.

Oh God I love that, you know, thinking.

Well do you think expiry is just there for a laugh. It'll expire. This a new one. It'll be totally different.

Oh. Oh man. It's like the long card. No by Rosie.

Alert my last one and then I got a new card and I've never learned to know.

Can they not just change the last four digit margin that call to the to the bar. I know you're up on like, like fraud and all that, but I literally just want the last number to be changed. Can you can you go up one? You know how it's like forty four billion dollar can make voted and one zero one five you.

Oh well then well just for the next year and just enjoy the last of ten.

I still have a lot of lost of all you have to do in order to do like an hour of recycling before this started.

It's fucking ridiculous how much stuff we get. Some places love packaging honestly say good God. But yeah. So that's, that happened, which is fun. Well, well done. I'm proud of you. Well done. Something else which has happened recently, I don't know whether you've noticed this. I put something on my Instagram about it. Robyn just wants to wear shorts all the time now.

It's like a policeman, you know.

He is. Yeah. I'm just worried he's going to be one bloke. Blokes who just wears flip flops in December will run the shops and you go, what you.

Yeah, I, I, I do not trust people who just wish. Then again, my tour manager, what am I to him. I just edgeways shorts literally all the time Paul was doing constantly. We wear shorts, but like Fresen, like snow shorts on.

Why Tornoe says he says he likes rolls, which is just weird.

Maybe that's probably his legs or he just wants to wear shorts all the time.

Oh yeah. No, it's very annoying and it's upsetting to be honest. But I'm taking him out and it's free. We live in the northeast of England. It's absolutely bitter cold and he's got short on. And I think people must think either to. I could. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

She hasn't cleaned any trousers or he has not been got a new job and he does. He's got loads.

He wants to waste so much short on less than one or bouncy castle place. And I was he was going down the slides and stuff and I was like, he's going to be on his lexia. This is how you burn your legs. I've still got burns on my arms off a barbecue out bloody ages ago. Holy shit.

I still got the scars. I mean, I own the Dallas Morning, the postman and the postman. Are you kidding me at all? Getting a bit cold for and anybody short on and. Oh yeah.

And put some pants on and I'm sure I just want to I'm sure to be all right but I always. But they get hot though.

That's a hot zone to lug and my mom would be good at that job. Well being a policeman.

Yeah. Yeah. Person. Yes she would love that. It's just love to walk the walk in with a walk. Yeah but Sandra you're listening.

Get a job I love out of out of sheer invest.

I'd love to see the pedometer. Of course I would be. I know it sounds really boring thing to say about know how many steps to do loads of it.

Yeah. Do you know what I do in the Metro Centre the other day and I did like 9000 steps to 9000 steps.

The shops get lost. No, I just don't know just what really far.

And that's good.

That's very well done. Thank you. Very good. Don't overdo it though. You're pregnant and you haven't mentioned it yet, so well done.

Oh well actually the bed. Well, no. OK, right. You start speaking of that, um, I had an email from a couple of people. A couple of people. Yeah. This one says, hi, Ramsay's meeting. The wife are currently playing catch up and on episode eighty five and every morning we have friendly bets for sexual favors about how long it takes.

For one of you to mention Rosie being pregnant can't stop that filthy bastard stuck.

Sorry, I don't want to interrupt you here, but I'm going to because stop using our on the way, baby. I can't even speak innocent or innocent on the way. A child for your sexual exploits of a morning when you probably haven't even washed and your breath probably stinks in your saliva.

Probably smells like players. Rancid, isn't it. Hey, I'm fuming.

So he says he is currently I'm winning with time's roughly under one minute to keep it up guys.

And that's from the parishes. Well it took a while to do it. It's tokawa it's the first time I've mentioned you being pregnant. It took a while. Yeah. So yeah.

So hopefully you lost your suit. Abida Babalu. Babalu. But we were just talking about this before the podcast.

It was so strange because I wrote this in my phone to talk about and you mentioned it at the kitchen island this morning at the kitchen island where know I actually actions happen.

Well the kitchen island very close to my heart, actually, because I am actually surprised all my friends with a kitchen island and we all got tested and we all isolated. And then we all went on the kitchen island and pretended everything was normal.

Oh, I came. No, I wasn't talking about that way. You said kitchen is what you said on the kitchen island. Like like we live in some kind of, you know, small Glaube and the kitchen island as a geographical location.

It's quite a big island. You know, we were chatting about how I went to a supermarket, coffee, nobody. The said I do love a supermarket cafe. I do not slag off a supermarket cafe.

If you need me. Great. Discover them onto a lot of them. Yeah. I went to one the other day and I said hello. Could I please have a kid's meal for the kid. Yeah Robyn. Chicken nuggets, chips and peas. And I would love a potato with tuna. Three companies into which the lady said yeah that's fine, kidney is fine but unfortunately we've got no tuna left yet to which I thought hang on.

Yeah I've always found that weird. Yeah.

We're in one of the biggest supermarkets in South Shields and I've got, you know, me shop owners. I've actually got tuna immaturely locked away. Would you like to use that. Yeah. Why? She's been a that's so weird.

That's happened to me in one before. What's the one out of it. Might have been beans. Yeah. I think I was in a one on one thing.

I was on the one there's one on the way at Scotland at Baric or somewhere one of the roundabouts and I was on there and the roundabout. Yeah, it's like a roundabout Alberich with a MacDonalds and a supermarket to come where it is and it's.

Yeah I just find that you don't like, you know, you're in a you know, you're in a room, a giant, you know, in essentially a giant warehouse full of produce and you are the kitchen of that place.

Yeah. I mean you've run out of tuna.

You you know you.

Probably got most of the tuna in the code within these four walls, unless there's a fucking she'll just come in from the North Sea and hang him close to the coast, to the coast, for you have six brands of tuna downstairs.

You have fresh tuna, you have ten tuna.

You have all the tuna. You've got you've got a fishmonger's. Yes.

Why does that happen? You chew the tuna within the building as measured in tones in this building for.

Yeah, that's a really good point. So now it's put me off the cuff a little bit because now I think.

Where are you getting your tuna from? Yeah, I mean, we make our own tuna substitute like what is your tuna horsemeat. Tuna.

Yeah, well, it's the tuna that's not good enough to go on the shelves and not at all. Well, sometimes it always tastes nicer because it's probably the like. Do you know when you get cheap beans but you don't get them and you get them. So when you go these are Losh like school, you know, the cheapest school, cheap beans.

You know, they always bring you back to the toast.

The hot potato sticker at the hospital.

Yes. When you were pregnant in the hospital, probably the cheapest butter in the world. Probably the cheapest white bread in the world for best toast ever.

I know. Well, OK. And soon.

Yeah, all you might know really is, guys, again, this whole episode needs to be a video with a smile on your face.

Guys, I looked across the table. I just go get it again soon and a massive smile on her face.

Not about the child, but about the toast we're going to get.

But we'll go into a different hospital this time, so you'll know. But I got the tools for covered. You know what? No chance. There's no chance we have this top down and toast guarantee. There's no fucking chance that we make any anyone toast. You probably got a priscila and energy fucking pouch, like a fruit like what you got when you do the great north run of the London Marathon.

You'll get a glucose fucking pouch and it'll taste like shit.

I'll probably get a tuna jacket, potato suit, coffee. I'll get that for you then bring it in.

I'll be so sad if there's no toast. I was just thinking about this, you know, speaking of pregnancy against every everyone, you might not be able to cope.

Yeah, but I mean, I've always said everything's going to be the pope because of what. Yeah. Oh, I agree with all chauvinist. You ask me chauvinist.

I mean you chauvinist outlook I'm going for. What do you mean being the pope. You know, it's for the lads even a little bit. No Latza just be me.

You were. We say you go away. I couldn't keep it up. I couldn't keep it up.

I'd be worried sick nor my mates just had a baby and was allowed in. My mate my next girlfriend just had a baby in London.

OK, so we'll see come January. Then we'll see what we we as to what we'll by then they keep adding them like a fucking Jenga, pulling out all the middle and whatnot on top. Ridiculous.

See see where we are by Jan because hey you never know. The government might blame you for enjoying Christmas.

It's all your fault. So you can have your baby by yourself.

But I didn't do anything wrong. Yes, you have to give birth in your own garden.

You have to give birth in your own garden with you, thankfully, with your own toaster. So I'll have it in. The government will provide an extension cord. Your toaster. Good. It's not all bad.

It's not that bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad taste is Rosie's mistress. Mistress. You know how much shit, Michelle, it just your mistress, mistress, mistress, mistress, his mistress, mistress, mistress. Hello and welcome back to this week.

I speak for everyone there. I shot myself when you did that. Good. Wasn't even looking. I was looking the other way.

That was well, that was why I did it. Awful, awful. Good one this week. However, then I'll be the judge. Not, by the way, prokaryote. Hi, Rosie and Chris, my wife is a midwife and was training had to go out and do some community midwifery with expectant and new mothers out in the wild. Right.

First of all, midwifery is absolutely an amazing word. Isn't it beautiful. Doesn't it sound mystical? Doesn't sound mythical. Midwifery. Midwifery. Yeah, midwifery with a warlock and with it we have a tribe midwifery.

It is lovely. I would like to be a midwife. You know, I think I'd be quite good at being a midwife.

Um. Yes, I don't know. I don't I don't know what your bedside manner would be, I feel at your bedside manner would be a bit too harsh. Are you joking? I think I'd be good. No, no. Because you would know the phrase, are you done? You've had your 50 minute pity party would get pulled out every couple of minutes, 50 minute.

That is a long pity party. Ten seconds ago, they were going they were going to be fucking case.

Yeah, I don't suffer. Fools easily. Don't suffer fools easily. No, no. I always think of what my mom told me about my sister when she was given birth.

And apparently she was horrific, right to the point where my mom had to tell her off because she was that rude to the doctors and nurses and she was being that ridiculous that my mom was like, Keat, you need to pack it in now while you're doing just just you know what it's like.

This is Kate who used to read the eight said of medical illnesses before she went to bed and she used to faint all the time to the point that I, when I was younger, made a theme tune up of Kate. And because me dad, you always have to come and catch her, she should have been at the top of.

All right. Look in our blog about this. OK, first of all, I know the frequency and I knew all about the fit and what brought them on. And then we'll move on and move on to the theme tune after that. OK.

All right. So what do I know first? What brought on offense and how often was it? OK, so Kate would faint at the sight of blood anyones blood group she would feel if anyone was talking about anything remotely like disgusting, all about blood.

And she would faint if she, like, knocked herself out anything. So, you know, if anybody bonus, I mean, she would faint all the time.

That's fucking ridiculous.

Yeah. Wow. So I had a friend when I was when I was going to lads who I should not run with, Andrew and Phillip. Andrew was the older brother, Phillip, his younger brother.

And Philip had a thing where you would fall over and he'd be absolutely fine and spot on on his way back.

What about absolutely fine and spot on until the moment he looked and saw any blood coming out of his body. Yeah.

And then he would flip out. That was like Kate. Yeah, yeah. Kate would just faint and my dad would always have me.

Dad used to catch up quite a lot, which is weird because I do remember standing weird like on a film with a little bit she's sort of the back of the hand on the head and then just wait until someone's behind them like a trustful she's very dramatic.

And Kate was actually really like before the times. Do you know, on a bed, not on a bed, on the front of a door.

She'd drew a picture of a whale in the sea and it said, see if the whale saw me because all I used to call a save the whales whale drawn to drawn up drawing itself.

And she stuck it on the front of her door. And she's vegan now. Right. So she was actually.

Well, nice to see you again. And and half vegan fucking. No, I think I think she know she doesn't eat meat anymore, but I think she eats fish still. But she doesn't have day Adonal anyway.

She's like, oh she actually no but she follows it through.

She's been like that for years.

I'm just split down the middle about when someone's half, I'm split down the middle of it and it's like I'll be all grown up and be asked. But then again, they make another choice.

Yeah. The way she's got it right. I always just because one of us. One of us like because because it's your sister and it's like it's all for you. And I'm like, all right, great. So next time I'm putting a spread on when people are allowed, I'm going to have a pain in the arse. But that's just me selfishly.

Now we move on to the theme tunes, right?

Well, I can't remember how the theme tune went, but I did make a poster and I did perform it for my film. You made a post?

I made a post and was something I'm going to have to ask and I'm going to have to make a post.

You performed it for you performed it for the family. And it was something like something like daddle cat.

You don't have to bring up this. Hello. Hello. It's just me. Hi. Do you remember when you were younger and I made up that theme tune of how you used to feel all the time.

Oh, OK. Doesn't. Do you not remember when you used to paint all the time and I made up a song to go with it and the poster faded all the time, dedicated to what you were doing?

Remember, it was something like that'll catch you and your pain at the top of the stairs. And don't worry, Dad, I'll get you.

Not remember. Oh, why am I? Is it a lie or my own death?

Well, no, he probably could make something like that. I'm just very selective about something you would do. If it was something I didn't like, I would just ignore it. True. To be fair, that wouldn't be you wouldn't have did it then you would have been really upset. I would have been offended. Yeah, I remember that. Oh. Well, anyway, to try and keep us out with that whole like to see a flash all the time.

That was fun. Anyway, I just, I couldn't remember but I'm sure I made up a theme tune. But listen, every probably you get back to saving them whales that they need, you know, by.

Oh, bring him up. She'll not remember. Oh, hi, mom, you're right. I hear you. Yeah, good little bit random, right? Do you remember when we were younger? And you know how Kate used to faint all the time. Do you remember? Did make a song up about it. Something like, oh, don't worry, dad will cut you. I don't know. OK, you might want to honestly comment. Obviously, it was a great song, but not because I remember performing in your bedroom when you were a bit of a family member.

What do you say? I probably did, OK. All right. You know, I'll come to check. Wow. Wow. So really, my talents were not appreciated.

I mean, I was I absolutely will not contest the fact that you made it with the money. And I guarantee you, I mean, I imagine in your childhood you made it a theme tune for most things I did in the house.

And I absolutely guarantee you will perform for your family. Yeah. Sadly, it's not going to be a number one hit like. Yeah. Tropical Island.

Oh, nothing of your friend. I'm amazing.

So she used to faint. How did your dad always coccia just always caught.

I don't know. I think you think you could see it coming because you used to go a bit white. Right.

And then you would catch him and he was like the definitely made a song of these bullshit as honestly it was definitely a song.

But you do realize in my house I used to get wrong for whistling in the morning what is get wrong with singing all the time.

And then obviously, Rosie, I love your singing. You're a great singer. Nothing more annoying than when the house is nice and quiet and calm and you want to belt in something out from the other room, especially when it's something massive and it sounds like you're being hurt, you know, in the first place. It sounds like something you've got like that split second, like someone screaming and noticing. It's fun.

I love that. Yeah, it's horrible.

What's your dad in the garage? Yeah, I used to do that in. Yes. But from the other end of the house, this is hell on Earth anyway. On this. Yeah, go for it. Hi, Rosie.

Chris, my wife is a midwife and was training hard to go out and do some community midwifery with expectant new mothers out in the wild. Great.

That makes it sound like it's just catching them like Pokémon go. Yeah.

Just what the babies know. There's a pregnant woman. Yeah. Oh, look, there's one in this undergrowth. Quick in just five centimeters.

Go like this one that was knowledgeable before you let me shit on one such shift. She visited a mother who had given birth a few days earlier and was having issues breastfeeding due to inverted nipples, which the baby could not latch on to.

I was going to make a joke about it, but then you went really sad. Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't breastfeed with Robin and I was devastated. I mean, nipples weren't inverted. They're just too small, like, you know, the actual like my nipples have got bigger. The circumference area like the abdulai is.

If you if you've just joined us, you here live on the Rosie's nipple shot on you, what circumference diameter will be will be discussed.

You know, what do you think the top of the glass is about the size of mineable right now, but the actual nipple itself, I don't know what that's called.

Tiny, tiny, like a little nubbin. That's why couldn't it was rubbish if you put that compared with teet. I've seen my friends breastfeeding. Right. The nipples are massive, literally. I've seen a baby put a nipple in its mouth and I'm like I that's going to suck on mine.

Terrible like AK 47 bullets just scheidt propitiate.

So the good ones are like AK 47. It's not a massive lol. I don't know what. Why do I know.

Why don't you play a call a German. Why are you so shit common.

I absolutely don't know what it's like.

Shout out to the lads out there who got an AK 47 bullet reference.

I've got you brothers bullshit. I don't want to know what one looks like anyway. Sorry. And it was one voted and it's a bitch shit. So she couldn't get the baby Lisa on this particular visit.

Both my wife and her mental midwife entered the house with paperwork and equipment and told to check on the health of baby and mother, only to be greeted by a very happy mum, explaining that she had figured out how to solve her issue and asked if they wanted to see how this problem had been resolved. Both said, Yeah, great, and as luck would have it, the baby was due effet. I've got it and I love I love, love you people who write, and because this person is put, I bet you can't guess how it was sold.

So this is the bit where you need to get this was a mystery.

I've got it already. OK, vacuum cleaner. Carry on. Oh, good guess. So you think she's took a back seat on a nipple and pulled it out, OK? Right. You're wrong. Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

Listen, all right, the mother, O.Z, her husband there, were gone into the room while proceeding to expose her breast inverted nipple, all at this stage, both midwives started to feel a little unsure and their fears realized as her husband leant down and took his wife's nipple in his mouth and started to suck, all while the mother maintained eye contact with the now shocked midwives.

Like, look at, oh, God, I'm doing literally like you fuckin siphoning fuel out of a car and basically great.

And in the midwives who had to maintain a steely and professional demeanor whilst watching a man, you will stimulate his wife's nipples into being erect, thereby solving the issue of inversion.

And both fell about laughing afterwards, once out of earshot of the happy couple. And let's be honest, the baby now had a nice meal.

No, absolutely no. Jesus, they just weren't sure they needed to witness the act when a simple description would have been suffice, I think.

Why did you have to show them to mean, like, look at me, come and check this out. You know what?

I'm going to work. No, Steve, you can't go. We've got to show them what can I just not to tell them? No, no. I want to show them a dead program. You, me. Would you do that for me?

What are you going off to explain what he did exactly. So he so he's to take stimuli. And so we just had to go first. Yeah. And get going now. Do you mean like get out excited or do I mean you just fucking like wait just one thing, you just like hoovered them out.

Uh what I do that I do I have to drink the milk but it would probably come out right at the same time.

Can I spit in your face afterwards.

Spit in the baby's face. Yeah. Waste not.

Want not. So you missed one who's at the door, just the social services out, I'll grab it.

I will vote honestly, out of all the things we've ever said in 88 episodes that might be up there with the one on the Web. There's something really horrible about about spitting milk from a baby's face. It's really, really grim.

I'm sorry. Have you ever seen a penguin feed its young, feral, vile, like, absolutely vile. Jennifer watching. It was a David Attenborough one time and it was the penguins feeding the baby penguins. Robin, take what the juvenile was like. Oh, yeah.

That's how they feed the kids. Just vomit the food back up. It was like, oh, yes, this is nature.

Yeah, I suppose it's similar. Very similar.

I mean, let's not. But that's fine. Thank you though. I'm glad that you I'm glad you didn't just go out right now. I'm glad that you know what I have to help. Yeah.

Rosie, genuinely all jokes aside, I would have done anything to help you.

The first one you're trying to get them to feed when it was so weird because the lady came on the breastfeeding and she was upstairs with you for like an hour and a home. You were crying. Bob was crying. I'm sure she was crying because she was just sick. And it took like an hour and a half like he's latched on.

Yeah.

You know, I was like, well, Wabo next time and sure enough, next time he didn't because it's like fucking well, I did learn to I have learned since that I think my milk hadn't come in properly, which when you first time mom people kind of see, oh, you milk come in and you go, what does that mean. Yeah, it you don't have any idea. So I had an emergency C-section and I think I don't know what everybody was like in shock.

And I just don't think milk came in because a week later and I was in the shower and it was just squirting everywhere weekly and I was like cornflakes all around.

You guys should have seen it.

But by then trying to get Robin to suck on my tiny little thate compared to his massive bottle nipple thing, he was like, what the fuck this?

No, I'm all right, thanks.

You know, I mean, taken from a man with a really large penis to a man with a really small penis and you go, excuse me. And I'm just not satisfying at all.

Like you bring a penis as this analogy. That's all I'm going to say. Abort. Abort the analogy.

Abort it. Hello. This Richard. Wrap it on the window that we were the end of it.

It's just going to talk really horribly about what kids be with.

This is don't you think we've lost our minds? I think we've lost about eight.

I think we've lost our minds. Well, I'm glad we lost that before. We're children. Yes, they cost mindspace.

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Ibu dooby dooby dooby dooby. It's time for what you believe. Hello, Grace. Oh, who's this? Hello, Chris, it's Barry. All right, Barry. Hello. I'm just ringing dead quick. Am I seen on a Twitter scene that you are doing merchandise? Yes. And I love a hoodie, please. Cool.

So if you just send it to me, I repeat that so beautifully. And if she loves any 34 BFG. Thank you. And I'll expect that. Thank you very much. I'll have an extra extra small a petite man just on the website like everyone else.

All right. Sorry, Chris. I don't know whether I don't know whether you know this, but a. Using my name right by the branding. I love it, I love you to try to prove not me. It's very, very common beef. What is it? Beef.

It's just thought I thought my kids get like, you know, your surname is like a meat, the name of a meat that is widely sold everywhere to kick off in the butchers. When you see beef written down when you thought was one day, I just thought it'd be nice.

No, no, no. None in the family get them. I want to do wine glass.

Now, the last thing your mom needs is a wine glass. I'll tell you, I know a sport. The last thing she needs is a wine glass to be finished. Public interest free from the wall.

You know what? This one's lucky if you don't get a how do you get a T-shirt?

I'll take that. Beggars can't be choosers. All right. Well said.

Do you think you which is available on the Web site address again, it's.

The exact was the exact address, again, Barry Beef, Beef Avenue, Joseline Beef Street, no down the beef and beef patty beef patty, any three four PFG BFG.

You remember that beef friendly giant and you merge is available for all.

OK, thank you. So when she hasn't cued up a noise of a phone call and she tries to do the noise of the phone, go dead, and she still does the noise of the phone call, that in the accent of whatever fucking spurious character that she was just doing.

So then we go, Mirch is available. All right. Is that right? Is that the right address?

Oh, Jesus. Just Google. I always find it. You don't just find it weird whenever I'm watching TV or anything in the like and then and please, you know, go to the website and check this out and see it like the website word for which I can go.

Just Google, just open your computer and just Google the thing if you can't find it for me. Oh, well, honestly, Google it or whatever.

You know, if you can't or you don't buy it, leave it. Jesus.

Yeah. All right. It's sick of it and might be with you this week. Oh, wow.

OK, this has been ongoing. This has been ongoing. I may have mentioned this before, but I don't even know if I have and I want to bring it. If I have, I want to bring it back up and revisit it if I haven't, because I think I've been too scared in the past.

But I'm feeling better now, have bravery, have it.

But I'm feeling like I want to bring that big show stuff that's flat. Got to see you on Channel four.

We all need it. We all need it. Oh, God. Yeah, I want to. I want to. I want to.

I want to tell you right now I'm sick of this double standards. I'm fed up. I may have mentioned it, but I'm not.

You're right. When I have Robin for the day when it's just me and him, when you're doing something and I've got a problem, I've got to take Robin.

So I've got to open it's strict from instruction from you. It's water, veg, fruit, no sweets, no toys, no magazines.

Don't buy anything. Don't let me have it in and make sure it's exercise.

And it's like I'm taking it to a boot camp for the day when you've got him.

It's the land of milk and honey. It's like fucking home alone too. Lost in New York. You're buying the magazines, you're giving them toys is fucking ice creams. And he's watching his iPod. You throwing money at him, just grabbing hold his pocket. He has all this money off your mom. Yeah. Or your dad's got it.

Marcus, don't let him look at any sugar if you let him look at some sugar tomorrow. Curious boy, I'm sick of it. You know what? You do this. I am. Maybe I don't do I'm sick of it. It's crazy. Listen, I'm a working girl now, right? Finally got some money in the bank to treat me a little paying me.

That's bullshit. Yeah, I have no right to do it because they're just sick of it.

Only recently, only Duvan call the tax office has been.

I could go back through my notes and find that this was first noted down by me a while. It is.

It's just I can't take what's there. It's the only veg is they. Oh I've got it tomorrow. So we're just going to I'm not going to have any three square meals. We're just going to turn on a chocolate fault in the morning and strap his fucking face to it.

He's going to drink that all day because he's with his mom fed up.

Anyone e-mailing if you're and if your partner does, this is your table. This is ridiculous. You've been really over the top.

Now it is up to in the shop. But, yeah, I've got to go get some shopping. And if I get my, like, a little magazine over the noise of Lords.

No, Dawn, these are Lords. I've got more on buying them a car.

SEKIYA Bullshit. I'm actually calling bullshit. Not you do. I'm exaggerating for comic effect.

But you do you do enough talk about this later than you Abdu Barber do barber do. But my beef with you this week. So for those of you who don't know, Chris is doing a show at the mall at the moment that makes the search which is great. PTW, very good. Saturday night.

Prime Time is also Holston children in need this year, which is extremely exciting.

One of the foremost of children which is on mizin a bloody honor.

Yeah. And I'm very I'm very proud of you. You cried when I told you. Yeah. I'm just glad that you finally getting recognized.

I sat down on a bed when I found out, just so you all know. Oh, good to busy cleaning out the motor home on the drive. OK, Formosan said I had it and I said I don't have to sit down. And I sat down on a bit on the bed. It's all been.

Yeah, it's minging. Yeah. Right. So anyway, it's got nothing.

I'm not taking away from the fact that probably I think you've worked really hard and you're finally getting the recognition you deserve. The thing I've got the beef with.

And the minute is don't know if you've noticed, but you've started calling yourself Mr. Saturday Night. Yeah. And or Mr. Prime Time. That's right, baby.

And it's disgusting. It's absolutely disgusting.

Listen, no, I was going to say no, you need to stop.

You need to stop it because it's good to know. But it's something you do. It is a joke. And the men in the house and I can tell you like, oh, here comes Mr. Saturday Night. I about myself in third person.

That's when I enjoy yourself in a room. Yeah. You're going to you're going to slip and you're going to do it somewhere. Right. And someone's not going to realize that you take the piss and they're going to think he's a moron.

That man I have I've had that problem in my life for a long time. Yeah. I get familiar with people straight away and I start doing jokes and I, I yeah.

No, I think you're right. You know what it is.

If you, if you change the code on your phone, by the way, to get in that uniform, no one would be suspicious that you change it might be hiding something, but I honestly think you've changed it so that I can't go in and change my name and your phone it Mr..

Saturday night, because I've tried to do that and I'm a bit suspicious to what you're doing. Christmas is coming up, so I imagine that's why I've changed it.

I might probably enjoy I mean, it could be Christmas or it could be me or the boyfriend. And you dropped it in the bathroom. And that be that might be why the court isn't moving. That's probably why.

Yeah, yeah. I am totally talking when I say that. Rumbaut Oh yes. Anyone listening now who was a friend of mine who has my number. Please do change your name and your phone to Mr. PrimeAg. Almost exactly like that is all I'm going to be responding to.

No, I'm absolutely vital, like I'd love to see it at all.

I'm just excited to tell you what we're talking about, being too familiar with people and doing the wrong jokes. I literally did this last week when they did the look. Make sure. Yeah.

So the band's come off and the bands of each got like and everyone sort of people to look after them. So, you know, we'll have like chaperones.

Yeah. They'll have like chat rooms and people on the on the production team who sort of specifically look after the band.

So since September, the instrument band, I mean, the fact that you don't know the names, Chris. No. Nor do I say what the name September the Grybauskaitė vocal. An instrument, I think it was before the fall fallout's since September. I know the name of the band yet. All right. Saturday night. How dare you.

I'm sorry, Mr. Prime Time there was this sort of come off the band set on the side, kind of almost like hotel sort of balconies around the road on the other side of it.

And one of the lads was shouting at someone, like trying to get someone's attention. It was right at the other end. So it must have been Schopper when he was right there in the studio because of social distance in the studio is fucking God. It's huge. This guy was miles away and he's got the lot in. The band was the northern land with a long hair.

He was me balls near the door. It's on the floor near the door. And he said it three or four times.

I look up, I want you talking to him over there. And he went, Yeah, when I went, I'll go over.

And at first because on the whole, the he was like, no, no, you don't have to. I was like, no, I'll. Don't tell them don't worry about what you want us to tell them about your balls on the floor in the tournament. Yeah, so I walked over and there was this, like chat room, like Broady Tech kind of guy standing there with a on looking at me.

And he went, Oh, thanks for coming over me. And I went over and I just went, Yeah.

He says, you're a cunt. And he went, Oh no. He says the ball is on the floor and says, Dorian, OK.

And he walked off and I went back over and I went, Oh, is he okay?

That guy you chaperone guy is say, all right anyway. Yeah, he's a nice night out because I've just like for a joke so that you call me and just stare at us. I'm really worried.

I've offended him. And he came over later on and I was like, do these programs to what do you why you came on? And he was laughing. He was like, no, no. It was it was fine.

But yeah, it was that moment as I not the same. But you know what? The first thing you see is someone to say, you know, will happen.

Then he'll have gone and told someone else and said that Chris Ramsey, you just said something really inappropriate in the middle of what is really inappropriate. You just ignore him and take it and, you know, whatever. Yeah, well, it's like you. Yeah, well, that's fine things.

I'm going to go back in the office because I don't I don't answer the questions anymore.

You could be alone. Chris Roberts. You really appropriate who? The guy was really inappropriate, said Siewert. Who? Chris Ramsey. Who? The guy. Oh, you mean Mr.. Yeah, Mr. Mesocyclone.

OK, well, I'm sorry, but you don't believe it is Mr. Saturday night. Don't you even try.

How dare you come in for your Dermot's is my business to bite dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby.

It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public.

But that was that was Rosie's covid briefing impression, bringing the tone down there. As always, guys, if you want to get in touch it shukman and audit Gmail dot com, please keep sending your funny stories, your dilemmas, your workplace polls. Yeah. Would you rather eyes all of those things? Have all these mysteries, everything. Any complaints, please send them to. I'm a massive shithead at Gmail dotcom.

They will not be responded to just before we get started.

I did get an email saying hello, made my mom love your podcast and I have a funny story I would like to share with you. Who will be really helpful if you could tell me where to submit our story. If it is by email, could you let me know when you can? Thank you. She emailed that to the Amy had the place where you send the story.

So if that way, if you listen in and you send that email Beeb's, that's where you send the email got.

Yes. Well, I look forward to getting that. There it is. I think it'll be hilarious. If it is, I'm going to tell you, I don't think it is.

That is like driving through the drive in at MacDonalds and asking where the drive in is.

Yeah.

And then leave it got stuck on you stupid. No, not stupid stupid person. We that you're stupid. Don't send your story. I don't hear it.

Oh no not Waupun.

It's too much. I'm sick of it. I've, I've had enough not not us. Just this just. Oh I didn't have emailed and I didn't understand that and I'm angry. Oh well I'll just explain that. No this is it. OK then. Fine.

Fuck off. Yeah. That was, that was from Mr. Saturday Night himself.

Mr. Wright himself. Hey guys, we're recording on a Wednesday, so I'll be an asshole Saturday night.

You got a more perfect oh, Saturday night. Hell. Oh, hey, mister. Mister squeaky clean.

You know, even though we're pre-record on a Friday, don't you know, I have a lot to say that yeah. The Finals Life Finals give me life the when the finals on the X final, I will be officially Mr. Saturday Night.

Oh great.

Look forward to watching that on my own. Yeah. That's Oh. When you have a. Oh yeah. Yeah. No I wanna be friends. Oh no you can't. You could watch it in the park.

You could watch it.

I'll get put up in the pogany's you know the hey this is I mean you mix things up.

Am I missing Saturday night. No, no, no. It doesn't work via marriage. It's like you know how the queens might fill up these Prince Philip. He's not King Philip. Same thing. Well, what about Mr. and Mrs. Claus?

They're not real. Yes, they are. You don't. Neither is Mr. Saturday Night just setting off all of a sudden, should it be you're bleeding it dry at the best Tuesday morning at best.

Mrs is it P.E.T. me. Hi, Chris and Rosie. When I was about 10 years old, me and my best friend were walking around the block of our state.

Two sisters in Brackett's busybodies know it. Old of the street came up to us and said there had been a man spotted in the street attempting to abduct children.

Oh, not wanting them to have one up on us. I said, Yeah, we know he's already tried to kidnap me.

And she was so off they went. About half an hour later, they came back. Yamam mom wants you know, I asked why.

They said they told my brother about the attempted kidnapping and he had told my mom, Brillion. Now I could do one of two things. Tell the truth and see I had made it all up.

Oh God.

Not an attractive option as I knew I'd get into trouble for making something like that up or to just go along with the lie and try to play it down.

I went with the ladder. Oh, try to play it down.

I got home and my mom asked me why I didn't tell our babysitter because my mom was at work at the time of the supposed incident.

I said I didn't want to worry her following was so dark. Following a barrage of questions, I proceeded to describe that the man was a white man with a beard, check shirt and jeans in a white van.

Nailed it. I swear to God. Really good. I believe the description.

I believe that you see and you say to him, my mom then called the police for loads of kids and parents were all gathered in the street. Meanwhile, Maine, my friend never said a word to each other.

She must have been thinking what the actual oh my God, the police arrived and I continue to spout this bullshit to them, adding bits to the stories I went along the following day.

The police came in school to do an assembly about stranger danger. Oh, my word.

I actually started to believe it a little bit. Maybe it did happen anyway.

Suffice to say they never did catch him. Wow. No, I finally told my mom when I was 14 years old. She did see the funny side. Did you?

Because I don't think I would. I would. Nothing out of it. Absolutely awful. Totally. So my question to you both is, have you ever told a little white lie that snowballed out of control?

Not from cause I don't have you right. However, this weirdly, when you read this this what popped into my mind was when me and my mates used to play out on my esteemed mom and dad live where I grew up.

Yeah, well, you know, the morphing back, we were all right. Little tossers in that street were always kicking a football around, almost like bang and stuff and break and stuff.

Yeah, I remember the ones that put like the nice estate as well. And you have seen where the consider and put putting a speed camera.

So they put them to the rope line. They put the two rubber fucking wires across the road. We like pulled them out of the road. And so you did it. Yeah.

Well, also was about and I'm the the the neighbor's he's always complaining about when stuff and me it's mom to try and put the shits up were said that one of the neighbors had told her all we've got a camera in the top window and we filmed loads of stuff that they did and it's a good idea.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wrong.

One of the moms phoned, the police said that could be like a paedophile ring and stuff stuff. He's still around and we're asking them about this camera. They were like, what fucking camera?

And I just said, oh, that's that's do you see?

So yeah. So there was that. That's all I can think of. No, I don't think I've ever I used to lie quite a lot when I was little, but I think that's just it. Like an actress thing, really just a drama thing. I think it was just it's never about anything terrible, just little things to make somebody sound more dramatic. But what this made me think of was, did you know that my granddad, Jimmy, got questioned for the Yorkshire about murders?

No, I did not.

Do you not remember when that bloke, the McCann bloke and we saw Jack the website?

Jack Yeah. My granddad was from Sunderland and he got questioned for it because I think I don't know why why they did it and because he was a makumbe.

Yeah that's right. Sorry. Cos Malcolm is that true. Say God. Am I that. Is that true.

If your parents lied to you about your mum, bring me Nana past the phone.

Your family's ridiculous. By the way. How are you. Hi Nana. Just me Nana. Dead quickly. This is really random, right? What do you remember? Did granddad ever get questioned by the police about the TSA, Jack, like Yorkshire Ripper tapes? I did. What happened? What happened?

Well, they found out it was like a month ahead of the. And that he was a bit of everything, you know. Yeah. So they were going around telling everybody they were getting plenty of people from all over the place and everybody should come to our house and work is off of work. So by the time that his wife was saying welcome back, but I didn't realise then there's times when my heart shifted to the I did this one Sunday morning.

We were all the time. Oh, wow. You were coming back home. So they came back and you had to write the letter. What I'd written her and you had to write it down twice. Oh, wow. I had a access to the motion where we were going to lunch on the markets and you probably had to top of the list.

Wow.

Oh, was we get indignant about, you know what it took us in the other room. They wouldn't let me come in the room to write them the end of it.

Oh, I just I was just wondering, would just recording the podcast and we're talking about we were just talking about it now said sure. Grenda was questioned. So yeah. Thanks Nana. I love you. Another coffee and then laugh about it. But I mean do you a love it. All right. Well I love you back. Okay.

That is fucking amazing. Yeah. How will we eat episodes in and we're still getting content that from your family. You've got no idea.

Just a paraphrase there for anyone who can't understand the phone quality or, you know, all the accent of Bridget there.

So basically to get a background to the story. So when when the Yorkshire video was happening, some guy from up here, I think he did a phone record and as well, but he wrote a letter claiming to be the Yorkshire rep. A few of them. Yeah.

Yeah, I wrote a letter, wrote letters claiming to be the Yorkshire Ripper and then did a voice recording as well.

So, I mean, I first of all, I don't know why they were just asking everyone from Sunderland, which seems folk and a lot of people, it's crazy, but they must have narrowed it down or whatever.

So the go to your Nana's house and ask about your granddad, Jimmy. Yeah. And she basically tells them all noise at work. Yeah. But before Tommy's at work goes on, they say, oh, we're going to ask about the Yorkshire Ripper thing.

And she's like, we're going to Yorkshire all the time. We've got family Yorkshire, we've got moldable connections. A Yorkshire.

I'm sure she mentioned something about Yvonne there as well, which is great.

But not just that. The visited the house. Yeah. And then the moved. So the visit the police will be back and then the shift and shifts. So they literally were like. Right. Top of the list here, guys.

We got a fella here is from Sunderland. His accent matches. Well, I've got his handwriting yet, but, you know, he's got connections to Yorkshire and he's just we're not near the door and you not believe it.

If we can move house the next day, we've got the bastard. That's amazing.

And he had a hand write a letter. You had to write word for word. What the written. He had won it twice at the handwriting for Rosie Di Aussie.

Hey, fucking Al. That is that could have been the greatest Rosies mystery ever.

I know she's incredible. See if we prepared them. I do paper prepared and if I had a good enough memory because I knew there was something. But then I just thought, was that true? But yeah. Bridget.

Oh, there's so many stories you can miss. So many. Amazing.

Yeah. That to me is just to clarify, it wasn't Miranda you don't even know. It was a bloke called John Samuel Humble. And I think he's in prison and he's dead. So Robidoux, Babalu Babalu by Chris and Rosie, listing your recent podcast and the grapes that Chris has over your pregnancy pillow has been making me laugh. And I thought I would share my poor hobbies and unfortunately, my daughter's experience of it.

When I was pregnant with my son, I bought an oversized pregnancy pillow, which I instantly fell in love with and continue to use to support feeding my son. Then when that stage passed, I continued sleeping with my. To my husband's annoyance as he complained, it was like having another body in the bed. It is. And I mean, I've got to say, I had a quick Tony or say that a. I believe a lot of my hate comes from jealousy.

Yeah, it's really fucking comfortable. And we did a radio show recently and were talking to someone on the radio and they said that apparently it's actually Chris Evans or Chris Evans. Yes. Said that poverty is something and it's actually got to do it. Yeah.

So, you know, I get one all the time. The cover for the pillow, which had been washed countless times, start to fade and go a washed out gray white. Yeah. My husband saw this is an opportunity to suggest maybe it was time to throw the pillow out as he refused to buy into the cover for it as it was nearly the same price as a new one. But I had got used to sleeping with the other man in my bed and didn't want to give him up.

So I decided to remove the pillow cover and carry on using it as time rolled on and my daughter was born and the pillow had to use again other than sleeping with me and acting as a giant contraceptive.

But for that kept my hubby hot on a giant contraceptive bubble full to great.

It is at this point in the story that looking back on it, I can see that I may have had a problem by this time.

My beloved cover less pillow had the inevitable stains of baby spit mixed with drool mine on the babies along with fake tan smears and the hairy bubbled cotton balls of an old age, along with random stains which were of unknown orange origin.

It had a rather distinct smell too. That didn't bother me. But my husband complained that the man in the bed was now starting to look and smell rotten to give context to the edge of my pillow. At this point, my son is now eight and my daughter is about to be sick and disgraceful.

I knew something was coming. I've been sitting. I am reading it.

My daughter had grown very attached to the pillow to us by this point. It was like a shared snuggle blanket that she and my son have grown up with, and much to my annoyance, had started stealing it through to her room in the middle of the night.

Oh, this has caused some arguments over who gets to sleep with the rotten, smelly man at night. Right with her birthday coming up in December, we have been having talks about what she would like for her presents.

It had been all the usual stuff that was mentioned at home like and Tedi's, so I was completely blindsided the other day when I went to collect her from school and the teacher asked if she could have a word.

I'm expecting the usuals of Marines been talking too much or has had a bomb today, etc., etc.. Things took an awkward turn when the teacher raised concerns over Merian talking about wanting a rotten, smelly man to sleep in her bed.

Ha ha. Oh, great. Oh, kids will absolutely do you with that.

Cue the extremely awkward explanation that no, she didn't actually mean a rotten, smelly man, but she was actually talking about my eight year old pregnancy.

Wow. It was only then that I realized by the not very well hidden look of disgust on the teacher's face that we should have called it something other than the rotten, smelly man.

And by the time we come to get rid of the man in my bed. Wow.

So what an explanation that is. I've got hope you don't you don't have been told what happened to a man once many months ago, really concerned.

Oh, no. That's just the name of the disgusting eight year old putrid encrusted stain, disgusting fucking petri dish of a shit tip, probably where corvids started pennel.

I've been raping me my legs rather than sweating it and drooling on every single night for eight fucking years, two years short of a decade because I'm a pig. Disgusted. Yeah, awful. I know.

Well I actually I was thinking about mine the other night. I need to wash the cover just because I had a bath. Right in my defense I'd had a bath but none of me pajama bottoms fits anymore. Right. So I had to wear night before bed without any knickers. God. And it was wrapped around my crotch.

I know God. So. Oh, gee whiz.

You know, snail trail. Oh, God, you suck on it.

I'm kneeling squid's mouth.

I do love it. Squeezable beeks actually.

You know, I'm a dub dub dub dub biros increase. My ex-boyfriend was really into cause etc. and was always getting up early to clean out his car, wash his car.

I realize now and probably did then how very, very boring our relationship was so cool.

It was so fucking cool if we weren't going to an area about 300 miles away to view a new car. We don't have kids, so we're equally as boring to buy some sort of cleaning product for one of his many cars.

And you can't lock them off because you went and sat in a fucking tent while someone Yukon's like this. So I'm not with him anymore. Yeah, but neither she. Anyway, one day when I was at his, he decided to spring on me that he wanted to go to a car, meet she put in brackets.

How embarrassed. Sorry was a comet. This is what they call it. When you know dickheads you just love the car more than they love anything else in the world. Like they hate their job but only go so they can pay for they call.

We know, you know, they exist and they meet up places to show their cars off. So it's not an organized about.

It's just when they go to a car park like Fast and Furious. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

So there will be a Facebook page. Yeah. Oh yeah. Percent Northeast Corner meet up thing. Yeah.

But it won't be. This is going to Noya. It won't be. Call me. It'll be down, it'll be section down into the make of car. So OK.

I'd like to show you how the rhino was sparse. Is a modified white meat at the beach at eight o'clock. Yeah well basically yeah.

So this is where Logan and I had to come along. I was furious and now when I look back, I can't believe I went along with it.

Anyway, when we got there, they were loads of kids. They can only be described as kids with their Ford Fiesta's thinking they were cool. Yeah, I flat out refused to get out of the car because I was the only female there. Because you were obviously. And B, I know fuck all about cars. My ex-boyfriend had a really fancy sports car, so his I suppose was the most interesting call. They that's why he's going to them.

That's why important.

You go to the shit ones as well. You'll go to like the might be like brackets like, you know, if you buy an Italian kuris or something and choose your price bracket and be like 100 to 500 pounds I can think at all.

Yeah, but he's on the shop, he's on the Facebook groups for like three doszpot it turns out. All right. Turns up on the fucking TV.

Oh, sorry about the wrong one all anyway. Look at me, Cosmin.

Showing me don't look my dick. It's tiny.

Anyway, that is that is that is slander. That's not fair. Don't not everyone with me because do not have tiny penises. That's not nice and not nice.

I'm actually on Facebook. I tried to disprove this will meet over the men's toilets with Ruelas and we're. Picked pictures of phone calls every Wednesday morning. So time passes and he's off out in his little car show, everyone.

Next thing I know, I wake up to a load of faces peering into the car.

This is what I had been asleep hearing of the whole time. And my ex-boyfriend had actually let everyone looking at me.

I felt very vulnerable. Oh, my goodness me. Can you imagine that? Wow. So they were trying to look at the eyes and they actually saw her watch the ice.

Wow. So embarrassing yourself. You don't know. You don't know what I'm talking about here. If I can look me in the eyes a little under the boot of the look in the boot of the ice. No in-car entertainment.

All right. Right. That they have that on the plane. That's right.

Whoo! Who? Hands up. If you read McSporran when you were younger, me.

Hands up. Don't don't want my question to you is, have you ever fallen asleep somewhere you probably shouldn't have.

It's a question. That's a question.

Oh I have a falling asleep somewhere I probably shouldn't have. I tell you where do I fall asleep when I find very I find it very uncomfortable around the pool on holiday.

You do that a lot and then you snore.

You have to wake you up. And then I wake up, going to wake up and I'm like, what have you all been doing while I've been asleep and vulnerable?

If you will be over putting you like tiddlers on my legs in that I mean, I was laying next year the whole time.

You're telling me, you know what I mean? I feel like everyone's like teabag doesn't stuff monkey about you.

Um, I've never really fallen asleep somewhere I shouldn't have other than know, nightclub toilets at least happen all the time. Oh yeah. Yeah.

We've just gone out in the book some of my best sleeps ever. Well, when I worked at pontoons we used to have to dress up as the characters. Right. And I used to be in the characters which were like how to be honest, disgusted because you used to sweat in them like, oh you and to the point where you had a sweat suit and the the top and shorts you would wear underneath would be dripping wet with sweat. Yeah.

It was very thin back then. And so one of the best lips I've ever had was inside Nasha the dog. Wow. Backstage pontoons being sounds.

So you just lay down literally in the old suit of Nasher. The dog had the lot. I would just lie on the floor because it was really padded and go to sleep. Wow. And they were good sleeps. Yeah.

I mean, I just imagine it stunk. It all is a grown adult now.

I would never step in one. I can't believe I did it.

I mean, you shout at me, you tell me the bin stinks from the other end of the house. Yeah. But the bin a centimeter and I put something in.

It was rotten crystal. Absolutely rotten. I got ringworm at one point. Oh. What's ringworm like. A thing that also Russian.

I get mixed up with worms which is just horrible. Disgusting. But you know, job's a job and it got them pay them bills. Well it's really sad. Fallen asleep as an ashtray. SHOWBIZ got to start somewhere. Got to start somewhere.

Had to keep the head on as well in case any kid came backstage. Great. Because that would have been upsetting. Oh yeah. Because of it.

Why the kids come backstage. What kind of the kind of place you've got in here Ponton.

All although we're just run in there just right. OK, did you just have to keep the heads on all the time? Because it was like can imagine if you just stood without it head on and looked like.

Yeah, so I know someone who's my again, my two monetarists mentioned twice this podcast. His, his wife worked on the big two up and that was the thing they used to give kids a two hour an organized tour at the end of the show backstage. And that was the thing.

It was leave that, leave the Peppa Pig, the heart of the heads on all the heads on. Yeah. And this is amazing because there were they would have the head on would be lying down on his box and it would be, oh, Pepper's asleep.

Right. But this would be Nashua's asleep. They're actually not seriously because it's a fucking stupid woman inside but not asleep. Boy snoring.

Oh, sweating. Always pissed himself.

Yeah. Oh, he's just said he's desperate for a tub. That's weird. Did you not know that when as well.

Just for shits and giggles. Because there was loads of rules like you and you took a picture with the kid, you obviously had to have your hands in the air and all that kind of stuff and you weren't allowed to talk or whatever. You had to be really professional because it's, you know, it's your dreams could be shattered. Yeah, yeah.

But sometimes when I was feeling a bit cheeky so the kids would go over and they'd like poke in the mouth and not because, you know, kids whose parents don't stop them from doing things, just let them kick you like I used to get kicked and stuff and you be like you little nozzle.

So when they got too close, I'd go like this and be like, this is really horrible.

No, I just used to not be able to stop your mom in the eye, but it was just it was just not well done. My brain went to a horrible place and it was just not enough. Yeah, well, I mean.

Thirty four year old Rosie would have said something like, oh yeah. Yeah. Eighteen year old Rosie. Yeah. You know, come up with best.

That was all I had, which wasn't Mr. Saturday night then. Abdu Babba Dooby Dooby Cristen Rosie kept this story for a while, but I feel like it's time to share it. Not 100 percent sure if every detail is true is a friend of mine told me the story whilst I was at uni with him, but it stayed with me to this day.

The old friend of a friend friend. Come on, a friend. Let's see. He's quite a keen traveller and spent a lot of time in South America. One day he was in a bar in Colombia with ACLEI.

That's where I used to live in Rhodes, Colombia. Colombia.

Sorry, I he was in a bar in Colombia with a friend he had met on his travels when a good looking girl came into the bar. His friend was obviously interested and soon went over to introduce himself. My friend happily sat with his drink while this guy flirted and sex successfully.

Hmm said convinced her to leave with him. Oh. An hour or so later, the guy returned to the bar, completely ignored.

My friend went straight to the bartender and ordered a whiskey, looking visibly traumatized. Right straight after that drink he ordered another, seeing both of them off straight away by double whiskey. Shot of whiskey. Yeah, my friend. Obviously confused what had happened. I went over to ask if he was OK. He then told him the gruesome details. Oh God.

He had returned with the girl back to his hostel office where they had begun to get to business.

They decided to have a go at 69 right with him on the bottom and the girl on top. I mean, he was out in the morning nights, one night stand.

Chris, nothing surprises me anymore with these emails. Good God. There's you know, there's just so much going on. People not going to the old Sixty-nine in a hostel, not on a wet night.

Oh, my God. In a hostel. Exactly.

A shared room, 69 drunk people all drunk. So anyway, he was lying there quite content with his eyes closed, giving it his all with this girl lying on top of him when all of a sudden he felt something tap on his forehead.

He chose to ignore this as it wasn't too aggressive and he'd already had a few drinks and it could have been anything but a few seconds later he felt it again. Right, I don't like where this is going. That was when he opened his eyes, he saw looking back at him not an inch from his face. A tapeworm extending out of her body. No way this no what's the top of his head for of Jim?

Oh, no, of quite obviously horrified.

He jumped up and left as fast as he could. My friend swears to this day it's a true story and remembers the horrified look on the guy's face when he arrived back at the bar.

That's.

No, I can't no to hold on. The only reason I've read this out is because that's not a friend from a friend. From a friend that is, somebody's friend spoke to the guy who had happened to.

So that's quite that's. Do you think. I don't know.

So what's it the morning. What's what's just fucking wriggling like a wagon till she's excited and it's come out of a.

What's it doing coming out for doing or do the food. That's what does that what they're doing. I don't know. Tapeworms are real. Oh God I don't know.

Do you know what I'd like to call bullshit on it. But I don't know. I honestly, I feel a bit sick of it.

I've got a lot on his head, like any animal in the room for a little while.

Tap, tap, tap, tap. Hey, man, you couldn't just thumos back in here, could you.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Well, it seems like what you have to do, that kind of unless you've got a bit of bacon between your teeth to spread the joy of a double a double double episode eight, you've had your fill out, got on you.

We thank you for listening.

Chicago, Illinois, which is now part of the US, which is still the cast creating that was still getting rid of. No, no, that's right.

You guys, thank you so much for listening. As always, if you want to get in touch, a chugalug annoyed at Gmail dot com. Thank you for reading unsubscribing on that and your little podcast ops. I do appreciate. I've seen the little rates are going up. Yes. Thank you very much. At the match is available now on the website. The book is out and yet and catching up with the search. I'll be your name and then I'll be on Cerruti as well.

I have also I have nothing to promote then. And, you know, nothing is nearly and I believe it is Besançon any Halloween yet. What do you want them to do? Well, don't you think you don't. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. I left school early, so my reading and writing were never great. It's like a migrant last six years at home and work constantly. How am I going to get around this? But with the course, all that has changed.

Now I can read to my kids reading bedtime story to my kids.

It means a lot to me if reading, writing, math or technology is holding you back, take the first step free. One 800 20-20 65 Artex learn to 550 to see how we can help this free and confidential service supported by your local ETB, Sulla Centinela.