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I've lost my beancurd and I've just been paid, I bet someone is drawing my cash around all over town, eating in fancy restaurants with those little breadsticks, renting exotic sports cars, lose your card, freeze your card in seconds, no drama.


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This week's podcast is sponsored by Now TV and more specifically, the now TV, Sky Cinema and Entertainment Past.


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What would I do without you? Yeah, I don't know. Nothing.


Hello, you're listening to Chad Myers with me, Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Chris Ramsey, and something really strange has happened this week in a really good mood. And Chris is a little bit sad.


So I'm not sad. This never happens. I'm not sad. I'm just a little bit tired.


OK, a little bit tired. You are at the moment boiling hot all the time, like craziness.


And I am freezing cold. And you said last night I got to do with anything. It's got to do with the fact that didn't sleep well last. OK, because you said to me last night, I'll just wear like long pajama pants and Tom and I go to bed in a boiler suit.


I've never done that before. And I'm sorry.


I cannot I cannot get away with the. I'm really cold in bed. Yes. Well, put some clothes on in bed clothes.


Want to put me through.


Want to put me fucking coat on while Obama and me and my clothes and lie in bed fully get it out for when I'm good.


May I love nothing then. Been fully clothed in bed. Have Redox the love.


Honestly I felt like I had to go walk with, I felt like I had to be somewhere. I was like what's going on here.


I've got, I've got an appointment. Yeah. Like I hated it but we've got like two duvets.


We've got a normal duvet. Then there's another like duvet which I just love having on top heavy and it wears you down. I love it and I hate to take on you. Don't you love a wet blanket. You would. Oh what. Oh yeah.


Oh Chris. Yes. You want the phone you dummy. So.


Well I think I genuinely think the anxiety I me I Googled adulteries once.


I did and I thought it was a lot of bondage based stuff.


I was I thought did a quick clear of the history after that. I couldn't make it out good.


I'm glad so. Yeah. Guys, welcome. It's episode ninety three. Thank you so much for coming in return and all that stuff.


We always see it, but we're genuinely Minneapolis continue to like and subscribe and all of that. And before we go any further, it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor.


Ninety three of them. This with something I skipped a couple, but yeah, you're right.


Gosh, this week's sponsor is going from Lockdown's Street in a tier three.


Oh, oh, and what a difference.


Not really cool. Not no different at all.


Is that the corporate equivalent of getting on a plane to go on holiday in the pissin domain and then getting spin's percent down as well?


And we never asked for thunder and lightning here and all happy days should have stayed in the house. The only difference for us is you can go to the shops now you got shops.


But the only thing that I used to really enjoy about a little shopping experience was, you know, a cup of coffee on my way around.


Well, you wanna take a flashy flat, take a pass next one. I'll fix the next one for you. Fixed it. Top up. Positive, upbeat. All right.


Well, I'll try and get another one. Well, about well, you've got a queue outside of the shops.


Take a flask. Right. Let's take a cup and bosk.


Yeah, right. Yeah.


Way all of your pajamas that you normally wear for bad if you're hot and cold weather outside. Yeah. Be fine. And you put your hands on your flask.


Great. Next. OK, well that that was kind of unique. OK, well so that's right. Great.


I'm just sad. It's just. Oh don't be sad. No I'm all right.


I'm just tired. I don't want to do this again because I try to sleep in a boiler suit. I'll be all right. Well, let's just sleep in separate beds. Oh, we haven't got a spare room.


And it's probably because you decided to get knocked up selfish. Oh, what? It's like ideas of doing this. We had a fight about the jungle gym. We could sit along a jungle gym. God. So this is the jungle gym. We hope you like the gun lobby.


Do ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of what we were all OK in these grotty little time.


I tell you, if you listen to this now, is there any tier ones in the news?


No one in Tier one is ever out of white and a couple of other little places.


I love White Madina, so I'll see you very soon. Not soon enough for Georgia to want you bastards to spit on each other or whatever you studied on the testing.


My God, I'll miss it. Must realize why we're in tier three, though, don't you? Why? I mean, the keep saying that the cases are high enough, but they know that we like a drink and they know that way.


If they let us out, we will be out here again in person and just getting in each of those grills. So that's why. Oh well fair enough.


Anyway, why tatto well done is enjoy yourselves joyo pints and not scotch. I tell you I did. So I did a gig last week. I did like a corporate gig on a TV studio and was filmed. It was zoomed out to the people from the company. Oh yeah. Yeah.


But I had asport one of the duds at the, at the when I was dropping Robin off at school, I said, Omar, you said, how was the gig. Cause I told the day before so I told about something about the gig. I said I was having a beer afterwards and I swear to God the fuckin like the almost joy but like sort of I don't know, I can't describe it was saw the lost and he had lost the best.


What I can give you a lost of his voice I how to be to do did you half an hour over Pinecrest over your job. You are Pangalos was a ball. Oh no no.


It was from a ball from the phrygian or I was honestly I was like oh man.


I know, I know. It's funny isn't it. Because when you think back of all the years of like being out at Christmas and when you have to queue at the bar, it's always really awful. But now I'm really craving. Oh, God, absolutely.


What is the Christmas song? Last Christmas is Christmas. Yeah, but yeah.


Well, listen, the other day and it's a crowded room, friends with tired eyes.


It's like a crowded room. Well, well, well, you know, they all bobbled listen, it's getting back there today.


It was announced if you are it's Wednesday when we recorded this today, it was announced that there could be a new vaccine ruled out as early as next week.


So let's be positive or causing cancer on kind of way to get out of me. Dick, it's going to be great.


I just want to put on it what the the put the vaccine and he's going to need it. Yeah, you're right. I'm not gonna if it's not the day I'm not having this, I'm not having twenty twenty. Give me another Slok.


I think I preferred you tired.


I know you can do I tell you what the bloody fuss and the hassle I got last time with me. Flu vaccine and they wouldn't do it. Me Dick. That was Helen.


Why is this happening anyway. Speaking of Christmas smiles and does we need your help? We are going to be doing two Christmas episodes because we have a Christmas episode planned that's coming out on the eighteenth. But we also didn't realize that we have an episode coming out on the twenty fifth actual Christmas Day.


Steve, Merry Christmas.


To all I know we thought would just do you tell him you boy what day is today is Christmas.


Yeah, there's a podcast coming out so I'll do that, I'll do that in the storage. Supposed to be. I'll start it like that. OK, great.


Please don't mention it anyway. Amazon does. We would like your Christmas questions, your Christmas stories, your disgusting Christmas one night stands. Tell us everything. My annoyed at Gmail dot com Christmas one night stands Christmas.


One night, Christmas silent. One night stands wi silent. Silent night stands crazy. I think you should go the night the night before Christmas. One night stands all of it all. Check my Gmail dot com. Thank you so much. In advance for Christmas or something in the subject.


Tyler Festival. Something so that. Yeah Christmas although. Just go to the end for. Oniony. We still got guys doing the. God knows what that. In July. This is painful to. Device on living with meatloaf. I imagine the meatloaf.


I bet he just kicked up all the time.


I imagine that we really got a really bad I don't think there'll be a middle ground.


No offense. No offense, Mr. Loaf. It would just be really long. But he was my tiebreak. Did I ever tell you that? No, I must have told you.


They know when I worked and someone put meatloaf on the karaoke, I was like top ten songs like five minutes long, like a bat out of hell.


I'll be darned good thing when I've had my tab.


Meatloaf is tub time would be some kind of Pavlovian conditioning if I put meatloaf on now would you really just want a tub. Yeah.


Honestly, you never know when you simply will not have they got the baby. OK, well we'll wait till the baby to take old Hlophe off the playlist.


Abba dooby dooby dooby dooby. So Dreama last week Chris when somebody messaged in asking if you were a dick and all that you remember.


I do remember. I mean I honestly thought well past it, but I'm so glad you brought up.


Well I thought I was like right ok I, I vouched for you not being a dick in real life.




What's the I like it was like, like, you know, when someone's on a fucking Leveson inquiry or something on the news, like one person said, the hero is a dick and they emailed and you happened to see that email. But you're acting like it's the fucking you know, like, it's like it's a full on inquiry.


Well, I know I had you back and I had you had me back. I thought I'd ask Robin his opinion of you. Sorry, you son. I thought I'd ask Robin's opinion of you because I thought, you know what? It's from the word of the is it from the mouths of babes and all that. Right. You.


Yeah. What he said. You didn't see his daddy addicted, you know. Oh, right, OK. I didn't. OK, go on then.


And it was a favor. What would you like about Daddy? Because he what good after you, so I'm just going to warn you now, it actually has nothing positive to say about you at all on the show.


I'm not sure this is a slam. It gets a bit worse poo on the show. It gets worse. What the hell? Right.


I'm genuinely now going to leave you and him alone. I'm proud of some of the stuff he said already. Because you win is a win win win a good time. And he was like, well, sorry, untrue, say something nice about what you did Larry want on the go, but something that doesn't involve real change to try and. I let me live like a man in so many to let go. Where you invite the one I use is that he to me, you're here for revenge.


What the hell? Well, I didn't go as planned. So you're going to say something nice. But the point is that daddy is not my daddy and Robin's daddy cake is the into my daddy keeps going. Right? Please. True. This is what happens when I'm not here. So he just goes wrong kick and everything. Yeah. This is ridiculous because you're right. You have gone too far. I feel like you've gone too far. You took this and you've run away with it.


And I look back in this room reading your book and come on, what do you like about not you can do what you like about another incoming house. What you like about me? I think I'm finding a couple identities to get ready for. So that's as far as I got and he made some stuff up about me, he just fucking avoided your question, absolutely did not answer.


And I'm just a little bit worried that he's going to go to school and tell his teachers that you kick everything. What's that about?


I'm not about to kick them. Then I'm not even bothered that much about the people on the show. That bomb shaped like a triangle.


I'm not having them. I'm not I can't tell them people are bomb shaped like a triangle one.


Why I get me bomb out all the time too. Well, what's the big thing I'm saying? Pardon me.


Ponson it from me. Really, I'm joking. No, I don't do it. Costumey posture was a fucking Kleppe, to be fair. It was.


Oh well God I would never poo on my chest my pride and joy, that shit out there I would do Babalu Babalu.


But it's time for what you be.


What's your beef. My beef. We can't imagine you have one because I have been delightful recently.


Again, uh, not yesterday, possibly yesterday. The day before I was born. We both downstairs as we have to because bathroom still not very busy getting finished actually as we speak yesterday as the bathroom is right myself in the bathroom.


You came in even though told upstairs for a week we turn it up. Oh.


So you just basically had a nice little pool for me while I was about to have my bath.


But they're sitting, running, going, drop your bit. And then you left. No, I was raging. Right.


Okay, Chris, I'm really sorry to total upstairs. Oh, sorry. No, Joy. This, by the way, while you're having your bath.


Yes, I have been constipated for a few days and I genuinely didn't think it would come. Good.


Let me. It's sitting on that time. Twenty twenty being different Christmas morning. More just a big box of shit.


I'm surprised. I mean, you might as well have shot directly in the bath as well.


No, I'm really sorry. I and I did apologize profusely while shitting. Let's be perfectly honest here.


I do remember saying I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.


I didn't think it was going to come. Sorry about that possible. What you got in the right.


I open the window. Oh brilliant. And then I washed my hands in your bath.


You like doing sorry. I'm sorry. I'll try not to do it again. It just came.


I couldn't, I couldn't forgot that you did. You did just wash your hands of me.


But it was, it was so invasive. The whole thing was so invasive. I had it.


Sorry. It's the baby. The baby saw me.


Really couldn't. Oh what's your beef. OK, I've got a couple of them. Oh great.


I'm going to do them both really. Well, you've just told everybody that had a poo, all because, you know, when you put yourself in the morning, I never do.


Never ever do. Just tell everyone I'm not pregnant.


It's 34 years worth of shit.


I just never had one plus sixteen stone in a day.


OK, right. This one this really this really, really pissed me off last week. Really. Yeah.


I missed this out last week but I'm doing this week.


Do you remember last week when there was dishes to be washed or the dishwasher needed to be filled and you said you actually said to me, I hate it when you do know what you said.


I could not believe what I was hearing. You said all rosy. I'll I'll get these out the way for you and I'll get these done for you like you don't live in the house with is like you are my father visiting, doing as a favor of washing the dishes. Where are you taking the me.


I'll get out the way. No, it's a sexist.


You try and make it out like I'm like I'm a pig. Like no, I'm a pig but I'll get these out the way for years away. The weren't Amawi at all do on the side of this thing me. I want to use them just as much as I do. Why are they my property. Why are they my responsibility.


So my point was you were pottering on in the kitchen doing stuff right. I was cooking my head. Yeah. Yeah. Your cooking shows moving them out of the way for you, right? No, I was getting them out.


So before it was the for you. If you just took them off. Right. You actually do what you don't have to tell us. Do you know if you want to help, you know, if you want to wash the dishes.


Do I have to tell you about that before you got involved in the thing? And Amy Goldstein. Oh, boy.


I'm saying like, I'll get it for you. It's because you are currently in the kitchen occupying the kitchen space. So it's like, oh, I'll do it. You don't have to do that, by the way. I'm going to do that for you.


But it's not a sexist thing. It's not like, you know, it's not a sexist thing. You make it so you make it sound like I'm like, well, hey, you know a woman. You know how your jobs normally dishes. I'll do it.


Yeah, well, I didn't bring this to an all. I didn't it all got nothing to do with being male or female. This is all got to do with you being a complete wanker and just expect them to do the dishes will be the sexes thing, because I was a big success then.


But it did it with me being a company just, you know, one guy day. I'll get these out the way for you. We've done it with Washam before as well. You've gone.


I'll put these in the washing machine for you, because I think it's because when I do it, I assume that you're about to do it. So I'm like, look, I'll do it.


Oh, yeah. Honestly. Right. OK, then. Well done.


So that's why you see. I don't know. I'll take the. That's like because you'll be dropping Robin off at school in the morning which is being voted for you.


Oh, you're welcome. No, you are. Well that's like me. Go and Chris, I'll drop the pay enough for you. Yeah. I'll do it for you though, because I've been doing it nonstop for you.


So if you can do it for me, that's great.


Hey, I'm glad we saw a ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.


It's time for questions from the public, public, public, public.


Guys, I was always if you want to get in touch with Chuck Martino, Gmail dot com as well as you said earlier on, your Christmas dilemmas and disasters and all of that stuff and stories will be greatly appreciated over the next couple of weeks. Thank you. In advance. But you don't keep sending your Robenalt Christmas things if something property ahead. It is just a joy to read all of your stuff.


And I'm about to get a fucking fistful of it now because most of the questions that our children, that Lubrano Lubutu will be filthy is also sex right there.


OK, yeah, you've built it up now that might not be well cut out anyway, so it doesn't matter.


Hi Rosie. Hello. I wanted to send you my story, which since it happened has become a running joke amongst myself, family and my friends. When I was younger, I used to live in Dublin and one day whilst I was walking alone down a fairly busy street, I suddenly felt like I was being followed.


Oh, there was a man walking near me who seemed to slow down. When I slow down and speed up. When I sped up right, the footpath was quite wide.


So he wasn't very close to me. But I certainly tried changing my piece a few times. And yes, I was definitely being followed. You could I just interject here?


This isn't this end up being quite funny, but if you ever been followed, you know, you've got to do well. You've got to turn round and ask them for the time. Really? Yeah. So you've got a turn around and go, excuse me, can I have the time or excuse me. Are you follow that. You've got to confront them. You got turned round.


Confront them before they get too close to you. Apparently like eight out of ten times the shit, the pants and the runaway. Wow. So there you go.


Because it takes the control out of them out there. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yes.


I got, I got all that when I was at school when I came to school.


OK, so there you go. Maybe that's still, still up to. Do you think it'll change.


Possibly. Twenty years later.


Probably got awesome wi fi password or something. Now excuse me, can you up a hotspot on your phone for a second.


I thought it was mid-afternoon and there were quite a few people around so I wasn't too worried about it. So I just tried to ignore him as best I could. There was a lot of traffic on the road, so when I came to a pedestrian crossing, I had to stop and wait. I noticed at that point that the guy who had been following me got quite close to me. We'd only been waiting there for a few seconds when he suddenly got even closer to me.


And then he turned his back towards me and his arse right at me and fought.


He said, yes, he bloody well vaulted right on me. It was one of those really loud one. So everyone around me heard it. I have no idea what he did next because he gave me such a fright that I actually screamed and ran across the road scarred for life.


What the fuck? I, I just feel like this is like a fetish thing, right. So that blokes probably been walking along. Right. And he's thinking, I need thought and he loves Fortnum people and it's just the look of the founding father.


Yeah. And he's just gone over and thought this is my chance.


But I mean. It's hilarious, but it's actually really horrible. It's awful like how much you felt. I mean, this it's the kind of thing, though, right, where you would at the time be really horrified. But you can't you couldn't help but laugh at that. Yeah.


Later on in life, I mean, far too hilarious. Yeah, well, it's it's I don't know, like it's one of the things where you'd probably see it in the paper. Weeks later I would be like he was a murderer, but that's how we started kind of thing.


I mean, you know, you what you see in the paper, you like where he started out, you know, small times, fought on strangers in the street, and then he, you know, graduated to chop people's heads off like, you know what you know?


I mean, put my I mean, again, first thing my brain goes to is I mean, if you ever, like, try to hold a thought for a certain situation. So what? Right. So we're talking about his walk and such as walking on for a while and just slowing down and just stopping. And he's doing the same.


So he's either brewing one up or he's got it. It's ready to go and he's waiting for it to stop. Yeah.


I mean, he was he was in very he could have shot himself to be fit, but he's playing with fire here.


I mean, if you ever like what I was going to have, you I know you have you know, maybe it's a thing you've done.


He's about me, but I'm sorry. But in the back, it was just a metre away.


So to just anybody. Yeah.


Do you understand what I'm saying? Sometimes you can hold it. Sometimes you can lose it. I wonder how many times you, like, lost the. I went back inside him and you to just keep walking before lockdown.


There's a lot of people on the street. He's probably been not going out. Sneaky ones like all the times he's honest.


Imagine his walks to work.


I just got I don't know how I would react if I was just done and someone just put their thoughts on his own fault. And I can't I just can't get my head around it.


I genuinely but would be really upset. Yeah. When I would be really upset, especially because, like she said, she thought had been followed and then I would be so upset.


But then probably five years later I would laugh as he street during the day the bulls on this fella, the awesome all the initial capacity focus on this fella.




Think do you think you might like call up the night before if I think just be like right turn tomorrow.


Rudbeck Loads of root vegetables, cabbage, parsnips.




I'm going to I'm going to do it. The Moranda excited himself. OK, yeah.


Well it's just like honestly I'd probably rather if I like if I walk along with a bag I'd probably rather someone's not to be Bargmann fought in the street I think.


Do you think, would you think I'd rather be mugged.


Not more not hurt. Somebody just like grabbed me phone you know, just grab your phone and I honestly do not think I'd rather someone just took me for me than for anything public. I don't know what I would do.


I don't know what I would do if I was across a busy street and someone just fall on us and then like, I run away. I'll be even worse if that just stood there.


Because what do you do?


Like, if they're just in the terminal and they're looking at you and you're just standing there going, the fuck, man, did you just do this for me? Like, what the fuck?


Like and then if you hit them, if you punch them, just shove them and they like fall over and hurt themselves.


You can't stand up in court and go, well, you're on a fault and on my leg at Pelican Crossing. So I just punched him in the mouth.


You'd get done, you'd get none of that.


And if he did it and then turn around, look, they went excuse me, blamed blamed you just I just said, oh, beg your pardon. Beg your pardon. Beg your pardon. Oh, sorry about.


Well, you didn't have to even notice. Wow.


Look like you'd appreciated it.


Honestly, if you smacked someone for fault on you in the street, if you punched in the face, you'd get broken. Britain in Britain, right? Yeah. I'll tell you honestly, Cliff's culture, I thought might be it.


You know, these people who jump on their on the bicycles and they just jump on the cars. Yeah, but you see, they've got a dash cam kind of get that might be the thing.


They want people to get yourself punched. They are the most hilarious videos you ever watched. One.


Yeah, but every time I watch one, I just think how many people how many poor people of these people who don't have a dash cam.


Yeah, that is very Dotcom's not a it's not a properly call. No, no, not at all. Scumbag's pure scumbags. I watch one when a bloke did it and I'm not. It was the worst fall ever.


I was like it's when the bike, the bike up the back and then the like throw that cell phone like that jumping backwards fucking trampoline like GCSE drama level.


It was shocking. Yes, terrible. And then so he did it, got up and then took a screen grab of the lights and I'm like, you cheeky little twat.


Yeah. Terrible crack that like awful. Again, probably rather than a thought, I'd probably rather let them know I would rather have a thought one of these guys have gotten out of a van, pulled up next to someone and just hang.


He's also downwind that you have to it seems quite well accomplished. But I also respect Robidoux, ba ba ba ba ba ba.


Last chance for Black to excel at current PC World.


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I've lost my beancurd and I've just been paid.


I bet someone is drawing my cash around all over town, eating in fancy restaurants with those little breadsticks, renting exotic sports cars.


Lose your card, freeze your card in seconds, no drama. Get it done in your AIB app and unfreeze it in seconds to unfreeze AIB. We back doing allied Irish banks p.l.c. is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland.


This week's podcast is sponsored by Now TV and more specifically, the now TV, Sky Cinema and Entertainment Past.


I was going to get to that. I thought you forgot. No, I hadn't. I done all of the stuff to see on the list to discover some of the biggest new shows, plus your all time favorite series, plus a movie for every mood with the Sky Cinema Pass. Very good. Well done.


This is absolutely awesome stuff on there to watch it the minute this classics, you've got The Sopranos, Game of Thrones, South Park. Absolutely.


And you've got newer stuff like Billions, The Undun, which is brand new that stars Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant. That looks incredible. Can't wait to watch that.


And seeing that they've just announced recently that there's going to be a new Dexter in the coming years, why not binge the existing series on then start your seven day free trial now?


I've got that line of search now. TV on that one. What would I do without you that I know nothing about?


Dooby dooby dooby. Hi, Chris and Rosie. I have a question for you both. I used to work in a gun clinic.


Oh, come a cook. And I'm just a and we often had people come into the clinic with an array of different sexual health issues.


On one occasion, a lady who had just returned ten days ago from a holiday in McCullogh.


Oh, she came in. She was complaining of pain in her lower abdomen. Oh, it was even to tender to touch. She exclaimed, Good grief. The doctor began asking the usual questions to build full picture using the symptoms in any relevant history. She informed us that on her holiday of 14 days, she had sexual intercourse more than 14 times.


Shut the front door.


Fourteen different people with more than 14 sexual partners. Sorry, sorry. She has had a really busy, busy holiday.


I mean, you need a holiday after the holiday. Her vagina needs a week off.


And goodness me, listen, I'm not here to judge.


No, I'm not. And I feel we are doing it and I'm really sorry. But if a bloke had done that and it was all you'd think it was alleged. No, I wouldn't.


I think he was I think it was disgusting.


What you need is not just proves my point, always much easier for a woman in Makhluf, much easier to look for in people and for a man in magalog, do you think?


Oh, the lining up on the blokes. Yeah, that is true. Lining up the hand in em. Do you know how I how I used to work in roads. You never mentioned that.


You just just for a few years, no matter how jealous.


But Faliraki was like fifteen minutes from where I lived. And I remember years ago there was that program Faliraki uncovered.


Yeah. And club reps were said yes. And Gilbreath Tuesday.


So I got told that was like ten years previous to when I worked there. What happened was it was really heve in Faliraki, you know, it used to be so busy. People watch that program and then they just got an influx of men. Yeah. And young lads. Yeah. And so it wasn't that one of them is. Yeah.


There wasn't any girls when it was just all they were all fighting or was it was.


Oh for two weeks and thought about when I was sixteen is the most scared I've ever been in my life. But when I went to night and it was just rough as fuck plain it's all Gramble.


Yeah well we went because of our programs. Well we think oh class.


This is meant no girls went. I think a lot of women watch program when I'm all right for them.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't think I through didn't think that through I was one that God it was awful.


Yeah well it was all right when I was there I had a lovely time so she's she's had a right one.


Yeah. I mean I don't want to torture but over fourteen I mean that's more than one a day. I mean because when you get a fourteen I told her you never get fourteen days.


You don't get in trouble do you.


Lose a couple of you lose a couple of days there. She said, all right, good grief.


Could have been a pool party on one of the things. Listen, we are not Georgina massively.


Well well you might judge when you hear the rest of the story, OK, it was clear that she was most likely suffering from some form of STI.


So do you know what it is? Sleepier. Fourteen different people as to not one use fourteen different condoms. Don't be Rensin.


Oh well, hey, don't make the planet. Oh yeah. How did you come up with Hota.


Two seconds. Where's that last lot. Can I have a condom or equally take that off this new lad once. It's not a problem.


No. There you go. I was pleasure doing business with you. Thank you for your time. Oh don't say pleasure.


Don't. And you know I use that phrase. Well, pleasure doing business with you when rub robin place shops. All right. I thought you meant in sex.


No, you've no idea what you're ruining it. Sorry. You mean probably shops. And after a shake you and he says pleasure. Doing business with you and I see a pleasure doing business with you. OK, well, I don't want to be reminded of this last getting charged to 14 different people when I'm playing a little boy. Right. So thank you.


Maybe maybe you're doing the wrong podcast after further tests. Bizarrely, nothing was coming back positive. And the mystery SGI, I could not be identified.


Right. I'm going to guess. Can I guess I should have kept this for Rosie's mystery? I guess, yes.


There's something stuck in the face. Me guess.


OK, let's say let's say it was at this stage, the doctor decided that a visual inspection would add to his investigation to confirm what issue was.


Upon having a very thorough look with the speculum, he looked up at me with a puzzled look on his face. The patient was lying on her back at this point, who was luckily unable to see his face.


He asked me to pass him a pair of forceps. Oh, no.


He reached quite deep into her vagina and pulled out a pair of green bikini bottoms.


Oh, no, no, no, no.


Upon showing the article of clothing to the young lady, she sat up and stated, Wow, I lost those on the first night. Me?


Oh, no, it would it be it she was she was booked so hard upon her first night on holiday, her bikini bottoms were pushed right up into it where they remained for the next twenty four days, just getting pushed in further by the time they had is absolutely revolting.


So they caused quite a severe infection and it was that which was causing all the pain. And it's a question, Lord.


Good Lord. Sorry, I don't want the question. Can we just take a moment.


Yeah. I mean know. So that's the second time I've read that you just I just on my.


Yeah. The Oh God.


Look, I mean she hasn't even bothered to, you know, slide them to the side just as a common, just smashing straight into them like a kicking and doin good God it's just crumpled up, you know, like I could remember remember the gladiator as we used to swing on the rope and go through the big the big massive poster, all of it, and then the posters down with them just because some of the swag covered in the big poster as well.


I think that's what's happened. That's what's happening right now.


What you know what you know what this is? This is really bad. You know what? I now know what I what I'm ones that tie they want to tie at the bottom at the same time on each side.


And they were just pushed straight ahead. Why do I know that is they always come to me.


I can't believe there wasn't at least a bit of string hanging out the next morning.


I mean, I'm pissed off to be good God, I was right back on it not long after.


Oh, for free. Hey, so grim, isn't it? It's really grim to hope. I don't sound sexist here, but it is really great.


IMed this is into the females that vile. If one of my friends told me that they had a bikini bottom stuck inside their vagina, I would be horrified.


And I'm telling you now, I don't think I'd hang around with them anymore because that is everyone.


Republicans were born swimsuits. Absolutely not. Imagine how about bikini green?


Not even the top.


I don't want it. It's associated with it. Even the top to know that it's horrible. That's not that's not a male female. That's a that's a that's the bottom. Do you want the question?


Yes. But first I've got a question. Oh, did you keep them just at the moment.


Wash them. Would you take them home. What would you.


Chris, I'm right. OK, I'm not trying to I've had a little bit of a promiscuous past. Right. OK, we're very open with each other. Right.


Do not put me in this bracket. I would never get myself in a situation where I lost a pair of my bikini bottoms. Oh, me vagina.


So let's not. OK, but my question is. Well, what's your question yourself?


First, if you put yourself in her bed, right, would you take them home and wash them and keep them and then be like, these are the ones that got stuck at me. Funny, look at these everyone. Or would you just throw them in the bin in the clinic? Depends on which the way fantastic depends where I got them from, what I wanted to know. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. OK, Monsoon possibly got you right.


I mean, do you on the question. Yes.


OK, so my question is to you both. Have you ever lost your swimming costume on holiday and found a 24 days later inside yourself and that's it?


Oh, I think about this. No meaning mean. Did I ever tell you when I went to the phone party if I told the story or at the phone party.


Oh gosh. You know what it is? I love the idea of a phone party, but being there, they're really sad.


They're really horrible. And then you go right in the middle of the phone, you like, why is the phone not stolen? Why is the format stolen? Will the formal start? Oh, my God, get me out of the way.


I remember walking around a phone party in Faliraki and I'm thinking, oh, I'll just burn my hand through the form. Plaster's just tabooed, yet disgusted.


You used to do a walk up when I went and did a water, a party in these parties and in the corner where all of the stuff just gathered so people would like jump in the water off the sides and just Hobbins Boki condoms, bits of bits of money, which is kind of good cop use that was coming.


And so at the phone party with all my mates and t shirt on and shorts and wore in the form having a great time, you know, jump up and down all night to the music, just jumping up and just jumping all night, having a lovely time next day.


Had friction at the end of me and both minutos. Because because of the fall, because of the wet clothes just going up and down on us, end of the day, friction been the yardstick.


I'd say it was like the end of of me was like like the the like so. So if my face, if me knows guys is where the word comes out of the end of the day. So on top of me forehead is where burnt also.


Not yet. Not the end. Not the end.


The sort of top because it points down down into the sort top from the porch, the roof of the porch.


The shaft. The top. Yeah. Top running out and bought me the most.


Oh nipples were scabbed over Scott all the way.


Honestly I could even somebody the next day my conversation or either stay in the room. I got some to come off call atención, why do I feel like I saved you from this really weird little life?


I don't get it wrong. I was, you know, living at the time. I've been doing that ever since.


Oh, yeah. Oh, just a horrible friction burden that. Oh, good times.


Oh, I would do Babalu Babalu. But this is a story slash question about pregnancy because, you know, still pregnant.


Are you pregnant. Five weeks left.


Five weeks left until I can have a bottle of Ambien until the baby is here.


Yes. I'll tell you, though, I mean, until the baby can have a bottle of wine. Yes.


Hi, Rosie and Chris, I have a story and a question for you. When I was pregnant for the second time with my son, who was born during this year's lockdown, I had a very strange pregnancy craving that I haven't told anyone.


Oh, my food, Quivira. Well, you just have to wait and see.


Oh, I mean, maybe are big that big that it's not as horrific as it sounds.


Well, didn't your mom was your momma used to eat when she was pregnant. You used to eat shampoo.


Yeah. My mom would put forseen on a wrist, rub it in and lick it off.


Right. Which is awful. Who is it who used to eat cement? Your mom. My mom.


Your mom used to go around the back of whose house was it? Whose house did was it? It was hit by mom and dad's house when she was pregnant, was it when she was a kid? It might be why you said she was pregnant and used to eat like the plaster off the back of the house. Is that raccoon?


When she was little bloody water coming in here, the arms are being rolled again in the plant.


So the render of the right thing, it was like the cement in between the bricks.


I'm not sure we'll have to ask it because I can't remember. But I'm not ringing. No, no. I think my mom used to eat orange peel as well. I've really looked out. I don't get anything. Yeah.


Do you know what has happened, though? Well, I don't like old new disgusting stuff. What do you mean? I've had nothing pickled for months. Really. What do you think? You don't like pickled stuff? No. Why? I don't know.


Oh, but then when the baby comes, I'll be back on the road maps in the Gorgons and all that, but at the minute and staring us in the fridge just come.


Just got nothing but dairy milk and I eat. It's actually crazy how much I do love doing so at Dryden every so it's a lovely process. Chris loves it.


That's what they'd find if you went to a clinic with a pay and that's what they'd find that find today, Rabbi. Well, that's what I finding you absolutely with that, right? Every night I would have a bath or shower to wash away the day dealing with my crazy toddler with my shower, I would pull myself a cold glass of water and pop in a bath sponge to soak up the water. And then whilst in the shower or bath, I would suck the water out of the sponge.




It's not that bad, is it? It's weird. It is weird. That's weird. I want to know where the sponge has been. I want to know the history of this boy.


I knew you'd ask that. I knew you'd ask if it was a new or old spot.


Yeah, it would be wiping their ass without who's been on the couch in that data between the toes. That's a nice word in it. Gooch Gooch.


When they talk about recruiting Faliraki, Obama told about this. What happened to you, Gutin. Well, come on, let's find out the sequel to the TV series, How I Met Your Mother.


What happened to my great grandfather. Right.


Um, I, I randomly scratched me Gooch one day and you know, I feels amazing when you scratch your looking for a laugh out loud. It feels amazing when you scratch your gut. And I was fortunate enough to be mates laughing so much I kept doing it the next day I couldn't walk.


That's not much I've heard it, so there's a lesson in that, kids.


Oh, I would not have found you a trust that was there at that age. Are not many people did the year before, Michael.


All right. So, yeah. So this is the year before the cheeseboard for the nipples and the tiller. Right.


So you scratched Eguchi.


That was just so much of a joke for a joke. I felt really nice.


And so they couldn't control. How sensitive is your skin? Well, you scratch your neck like all the clothes. Oh, no, no.


I was like fully going for it. Going first. It's not like you. Yeah, I know.


Well, you know, when you get in the laughs, when you get the laughs, you just got to keep scratching. Good. The sponge sucking lady, yes, goes on to say, if I ran out of water, I would get out, fill up the glass and start again. It became such an overwhelming craving that I would have to have my shower with the sponge every night. So weird. I'm ashamed to say I never replaced the sponge.


I know, but I just couldn't stop. I don't know why this was the craving. Maybe my body just needed more water cleansing. Why I had to be from a bath sponge though. We had very strange.


We're not so what we are because I'm kind of bored with this because when I was a kid, I remember thinking like I remember I brush my teeth. Right? It was just a no, it wasn't like a toothbrush. I hadn't been invented and I put my toothbrush. Do you ever do that thing where you put your toothbrush under the cold tap and go, yes.


And some of that nicest whatever. Yeah.


Polglase not say it doesn't taste the same Slagle, but I used to love a girl I like not a glass because like you wouldn't have a glass. You're going to see a cup of water in the water from the bath, from the bathtub cup water in the bath.


It was absolutely delicious.


It was an emotional.


It made it from your tongue. It's from your head. Uttaranchal means fed. So it shouldn't really be.


It's just it looks really bad for you. I don't know if it's just not as clean as men's water, but it's nice, though, right?


Fresh. Fresh is out. Just because you're in a hot bath, that'll be fine. I still do it now.


Sometimes if I have a glass of juice or not myself and a little drink this, I just kind of see myself drinking from a sponge and thinking, that's OK.


Not for me.


Spungen, I used to do that when I was a kid, but yeah, just drink the bath water from the bath. You just talking about the water. Yeah, yeah.


It's up there with, you know, the little bottles a pop pop. I used to go to school and put the straw on the top. Not that nice. Bite the bottommost mouth.


I was going to see you doing that. The absolute lose as well. Yeah. Yeah. Bite a bit of the bottom off and squirt it in your mouth.


And that's what you want to be too big of the hole. The worse it tasted. But it was a tiny little hole like I was to drink. Taste amazing.


Yeah. Yeah. They were so good.


I mean, I'd love to see, you know, Jimmy, all of our someone get a hold of them now and go. Right. So this is just water and sugar, water, sugar and cola and that's all this is.


Oh it's it's cancer in a cup. How are you doing. They're advertising slogans because I survive the US.


I'll sell the fucking greatest thing I've ever heard of.


A double, double, double. Hi, Chris Ambrosi. I'm currently listening to episode ninety two and the story of the worst first date ever.


And I think perhaps I can top this all. It was date number two, right.


You thinks she can top well, the worst man on the planet.


No, it doesn't involve the worst man on the planet. It's just an unfortunate occurrence. OK, as did no one had gone swimmingly.


He had suggested coming to my flat to cook for me. We went to the shops, picked up some ingredients in wine, and then he made a delicious meal. That's sweet.


OK, well, already it's about in the other ones yet. Stay with us.


Once we hit it, we moved to the living room to watch some TV and wine down with a glass of wine.


Everything was going great and we were laughing hysterically. It's something I had said. No Estevan.


All right. Historically, men on a night out made as a comedian, I respect that.


Yet we were laughing hysterically at something I said it was one of me seeing as she's gotten, she deserves credit. Some credit for me.


She's she's actually added after this. I must admit, I felt quite proud. He found me so funny.


They were go he was laughing so hard he accidentally let out a huge fart. Great.


I know that's a good not a snort. A snort goes what you own fault even better. Yeah. You're thing in a fart. Not so bad. Could be worse. You're right. Could be. Shut up. He's laughing immediately ceased and a look of horror and pure humiliation passed over his face. It was at this moment he looked at me, declared just shit myself, it's over.


But now I don't know about either of you, but as a 22 year old woman, I didn't know how to react to a 27 year old man telling me he had just followed through on my silver.


Wow. The story does get even funnier, though. I mean, she is cooking on gas.


Rosie, don't be sorry if you ever lost anyone in a shot in their pants, because I'm a professional comedian and I haven't actually.


Right. OK. OK, I've got a guy who standup. I'll take back what I said you're gonna be right about. He is literally shot himself, literally. Who is this? She's the funniest person in the world. How is this woman? This is amazing. Joan Rivers.


Anyway. When I tell you that not too long ago, I started a new job and some of us in the office were discussing our worst dates and one of my new colleagues took his turn storytelling and went on to say this wasn't me. But one of my best mates once went to a girl's house and shit himself on his city.


That after some showing of photographs, we confirmed it was indeed the same.


Oh, my God stays here.


And Newcastle really is a small world. Oh, my God. He shot himself on a sofa. Then she met someone who knew him.


Oh, nice, isn't it? That's beautiful. What's it called that?


What is it when it's like onomatopoeia?


No, no political then called onomatopoeia is a word that sounds like one of these like it. What's it called.


Like just justification. Not, uh. You want to know why I've lost what? What was I saying? What do you mean? What is this?


When it's that when students that you are talking, are you fucking serious onomatopoeia new ones? What was he the one justice. Coincidence was the word you were looking for. Anyone ever fucking emails in and slugged me for correcting Rosie again?


This can all fuck right off.


Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. OK, it's time for this week's Celebrity Question Number to question you. Did you use lot of celebrities on Zoome with we actually go ahead and did the embarrassing.


Well we know that like many of you have been spending more time at home, more lunch breaks than ever before, have been at home this year. It's not always easy to keep things fresh or actually take a break. You always end up doing stuff that, you know, you're contactable on Zoome and stuff. But if there's one person who knows how to reclaim your lunch break and start enjoying it again, it's Steph McGovern.


Welcome, Steph. Hi. Lovely to see you both. And you. Yeah, we're doing this by Zoome. Everyone seems to have a lovely face. Oh, you.


I'm good. Yeah.


I actually feel like I'm getting more Nalden instantly just by looking at my team that just got more and more know than when you said, well, we're still here, Steph, we've never left, we're still South Shields.


So we're surrounded by it all the time. But you're you're a bit further your Middlesborough. Yeah, yeah.


I'm but actually my I was born in North Shields.


Not many people know about me, you know, if she was just across the ferry from us Chicago.


But, you know, I'm always jealous of South Shields or whatever you call yourselves because you've got so many amazing people who've come from St. Charles Avenue. Like every time there's a talent show, there's always somebody else.


I think there's something in the Marine park. There must be something in the water you drink. And so, yeah, we've got loads of seven, Melik. And we've got we've got Perry, Edwards, Kerry, Edwards and Ridley Scott and the lead. I think he actually denies it. Yeah, it's it's nice. Nice little bit.


The thing that I've always wanted to ask you to write is how you manage to work together and like actually also have an amazing relationship, like how do you do arms?


I mean, I've got a I've got a very short answer, OK? It's a daily struggle. Well, do you know what? It is a lot easier before cool with it. Let's put it that way, because Chris wasn't here very often. Yes. Well, it goes on to it. Yeah. So it was like we had quite a nice part time relationship. And I think we've just learned how to me almost, you know, it's like you can walk.


So I mean is this something you can do? But yeah, it's I mean, we do have moments. We had a moment yesterday, so some days if we'll have like, you know, a row was a couple, we'll have a row, but then we'll have the podcast to record what happened yesterday, didn't we had a row in the morning and we'll have the podcast record. So you kind of go off to your own separate part of the house and there is a room where you sit there going, well, we're probably going to doing this because we're so fucking livid with each other.


Yesterday was one of them is we've got better at that, though. I think that factionalism takes over really quickly. Yeah, I actually still harbour a little bit resentment for that argument yesterday.


They finish that role. I'm still it's still going in there. But I knew I had days. But tomorrow, Steph, we've got now.


So I think it's a punishment. That's a bloody reward that is classified. So we've got a question.


Yeah. That says what you been doing during lockdown, but we know what you've been doing. You're lockdown down. You've been smashing out the steps so every single day, haven't you? Yeah.


I mean, yeah, it's been quite mad like you guys are doing now. Originally I was working from home, so we were going to launch the show back in April from the studios inmates and then we could exit lockdown. So we did it in my house for a few months, which was totally now it was like me with their four month old baby and my partner also trying to work from home just. Oh, sure.


And my husband is. So that was my. So then when lockdown lifted the first one and then we got to get the studio finished and everything and then get into the studio and we made it so that we couldn't be closed down due to lockdown that we straight away I went in with our really strict measures and I get tested every couple of days and all that stuff.


So I am so grateful because I'm getting to like go away every day. So for me, I'm like Posehn because I'm like in the counterman and go to work. Do Michelle come home?


And I'm not going to cost neurotrophic.


And I feel guilty actually, because, you know, I appreciate so many people are stuck at home and that can be quite hard in so many ways. And I'm like, I feel quite cheerful. Yeah.


Yeah. And of course, most importantly, please tell us about your staff department. Yeah.


Well, I mean, it's a kind of mix of chat with just like people we get on quite regularly and so we get various different celebrities stuff on. But also we have like our own group of what we call the.


And these are just. Normal people who come in and then the kind of like an audience, but now that part of the family and they're regularly sending people out on trips and they come in and they join in and all the chat as well. And, you know, try the food that the chefs make and things. So it's very much like a program that's driven by the people who come in to be in the lunchmeat gang step, which is the best dish.


Which celeb chefs the best is just really hard to answer.


So we've got one of our celebrity chefs, John, where he won't take off a few years ago.


So he does the most is in cakes like to the point where every time I bring home a load of cakes as well and then hand them out to the neighbors because they are watching going, oh, we saw John when it was on. Can you just do it in the open? It's amazing. They're going round with food and all the feelgood segments.


One big bits of what you sort of feel good moment that sticks out.


So fall yet what we do, like every day, we always try and get someone out who's got like an inspirational story or whatever. So, for example, this week we had a Lockton called Charlie Christensen, who loves musical theater, but he was really bullied at school for its kind of Billy Elliot esque. And he came on and just did this amazing story about how he beat in the bullies and like, he was just maybe inspirational. And he's only 10.


And I love doing that so that he came up with his mom and he's and he's like now doing a charity single with a the of Western stars and things I love so much.


So my next question for you is, how many shows have you done now together?


Well, as of today called in mid-November, we've done ninety one, ninety two, ninety two technically because I was at the third episode of the second episode that we had to rerecord because we're in a really bad mood with each other.


Oh yeah. We had to scrap a full episode because it was passive aggressive and it was terrible. So also 1992 we called it like we were called in episode three, take two or something. And it's like the keep the funds, keep campaigning for the release. We was to listen to it again because it was so bad. We got such a bad day.


And I feel like from listening, like we've learned so much about you. Is there anything like left to know about your psyche, the rage you're going to run out of chat?


Always, yeah. After five episodes, we were like, wow, that's awesome. And there's always something. There's always something every week where we either one of us to say something. And you go, I didn't know that about you, about past or something like that.


Just a couple weeks ago you told us that when she was a kid, I used to sit in a bath of and potentially do a TV show and the flannel was a fish and she was in the bath with a fish. Did you do that stuff?


Bear in mind, that is now that's not your job. Obviously, sitting in the back of the you know, you are a TV presenter. And did you ever when you were a kid?


Yeah, well, I was an only child, so still I. Yeah. And so I was forever playing games for every type of situation you can imagine.


You know, I run my own shop, you know, I used to fill up people's cars and the guards and my all just in my head. Yeah.


Or in all these different situations because that was the only thing you could do when you're on your own.


That's a stuff. Thank you so much for joining us. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have.


I certainly have. It's so lovely to be on your podcast, so you will definitely be tuning in. You guys listening can catch steps, pack lunch on Channel four at 12, 30 every day during the week. Enjoy.


Thanks, Steph. Thank you. I have a double bed. Once again, thank you so much for this week's episode of Shackman, which is now part of the equestrienne. Thank you very much indeed, guys. It's a pleasure to have you here. Listener knows a lot about I mean, Fox News, Budish especially has been a bit of one of those because indeed the time is out.


The book hasn't got a lot of gobbledygook in them. I'm genuinely still very, very proud of me because I obviously still in time for Christmas. There is new merch on the website of all kinds of stuff going on. And please send your Christmas stories to Sharknado to. We can do to do. Hey, yeah, it's not all about him. What does that mean? Sorry, came over 300 reality TV shows are now on. Hey you with complete seasons of your face, including below deck and The Real Housewives.


Thank you. Stream loads of episodes. Same day you. I'm just saying to hey you dotcom to start your free trial.