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Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, will you buy me, sir? What day is it today? Today's Christmas Day, sir. Oh, this bird did all in one night. I can't believe it. Who? This bird was fantastic. Now, listen here, boy. Look at me. Yes, look at me. Now is a couple of Schilens get just up rounded the pulverizes that Turkey is still in the window. The poachers are shut today and every other podcasts also shut to type of Chakrabarty.


No soldiery non stop and release an episode on Christmas Day. On Christmas Day. Christmas Day. God bless. Working on Christmas Day is well recorded on Monday. But yeah. How long we're going to keep this going. Oh hello.


I don't like doing voices on the podcast, so let me ask you, how are you doing that shit? Every week you're listening to Jagmohan annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. And we just want to start off by wishing you a very, very merry Christmas.


Yes, indeed. Very Merry Christmas. We're recording this on the Monday, the 21st.


So Faulkner's what you are allowed to do for Christmas because it changes every five seconds.


But, hey, I hope you have a lovely, lovely day. Wherever you are. I hope you're happy. I hope you have a nice time. And I hope that I mean, Oscar worthy performance that we just gave there hasn't ruined your day too much. So there you go. I agree.


Would you like the remix one more time just to play the Jingle Bell Christmas music remix that you did? Yeah, no, absolutely not.


This week's lucrative sponsor. Oh, so you do a sponsor on Christmas Day.


Yeah, but Wall Street doesn't take time. One second. You think you think the Footsie in the Dow Jones and all that modern day after day who all the stock stuff.


I don't even know what I'm talking. No, you know what I mean. When he doesn't sleep, it really doesn't it doesn't know what you're doing.


No. For you, it's a Christmas by some people, but some people are listening to this after Christmas, so they don't get to know the nut who listens to a Christmas special after Christmas in the Christmas special. This is the Christmas Day bonus episode. Well, who's listening to that after Christmas? Probably a lot of people who know how to talk, tell people to turn off, know you, turn your fucking bells off, turn your bells off.


Not something I thought.


I don't have to say to you without going any further. Guys, this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor is you might hear it over the holidays is. Adults who refer to themselves as being purely grow the fuck up, adults who say the sentence, I've got a bad tummy, grow the fuck up, Lugazi, it isn't a medicine.


Grow the fuck up. Where did that come from? When I say that I don't like adults who use the word poorly obsesses, but I've done that before.


That is when you do it so poorly or you're also for years or know or can't do that poorly or fucking what.


Oh God, I disagree.


I've said you before.


I feel a bit poorly, don't I.


Poorly stupid we are word. So where is that girl from.


See what it is. See what it is that's OK with you if it's your stomach. Stomach stops and told me you're not old. But Tommy, stop it. Right. Yeah, I don't say it.


Also people who say I'm bad, that annoys us as well. That's so unspecific. It's like classic work or comment a day. I'm bored.


You can I just tell you, though, you choose in the wrong year for this because. Well, this year I haven't really been ill.


Good. Will hopefully get rid of the word pouilly altogether. Let's face it, if it's not, you know, nothing, you know why we haven't been. Yeah, because I've been here and I'm touched. Anybody the the about it's a good thing you can just walk away from this to me as what we're doing this.


Please stop simply upsetting your adults and stop saying it.


Fair enough. Stop saying it looks it's not medicine either.


It's not medicine, but it does do something bollocks bollocks. So we actually we used to get lilt not look is it.


Well Cheeba probably you get over of your family, Bulahdelah of your family, so much always to bring.


We're kind of off school poorly.


When your school book is Brokenness, I'm off. Merry Christmas, Haddix. Oh me too. Me, me doing poorly. Tommy in the fucking say.


All right. Jingle stop. It's a Christmas bonus. Special pack in reward messaging. We had a fight about the jingle jingle. We could sing along to jingle jingle gong. So this is the jingle, jingle, jingle. We hope you like the machine gun. Baba dooby dooby dooby jingle. Hello and welcome back to around the Christmas bonus of Shagged, Married, annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsay and Christopher Ramsay.


Yes. Can you stop come up with the jingle.


I've told you now, yes. We have had the money's worth of the frigging gold.


You do, right.


So while everyone else was sad to know where you all were and what you do, hope you're well. Happy Christmas. Not to mention the elephant in the room.


There's a massive sting in a huge elephant in the room. But we're not going to mention it because it's very depressing.


And it's Christmas Day and we're all we're not all in the same boat, but we kind of all on the same boat of a very, very different Christmas to usual. And just hope you're all OK. And we are going to hopefully bring a little smile on your face today.


Christmas smile, Christmas smile like the Grinch, exactly the same as a normal smile.


I've got some positive news. OK, this is good. I say positive. It's one of ours. Test. No. Oh, no, no, no, no.


I'm not one of them. Yes. No. Yeah, I've got a few. You've had a few. I'm all right for it. I'm going to have to have one.


I go to hospital or something they look forward to when they get you. There's the one with a tickle your throat and there's the one where the fucking move in for a night.


Well, it's hospital, so I think they'll jab it right down there. Yeah. Or, hey, buy you dinner afterwards. Well, I don't, but I've had you know, I got smarter.


So, I mean, just don't forget about your smear test. This reminder and a half. It's been a weird year, but I got a letter about my a test, but I'm pregnant, so I can't have one. So I put an alarm on my phone and that's going to be one of the first things I do once I've had the baby and what's going up.


So we look forward to in the new year, Chris, like honestly, it's just some way to go. I'll be like, oh, is this mean for the boys out there?


Include myself. We've got no idea what a smear test is. Is a smear test anything like a sweep? Right, because you saw me get a sweep this. It's not as aggressive Norway, if you haven't had. Oh, go, go.


No one told about this on. I talked about, I don't know, during a basically so gentlemanly I don't remember being in the room when your wife's been pregnant, being in the hospital. And the doctor has had to do what's called a vaginal sweep.


Sounds needs to be renamed, in my opinion, really needs to be renamed because the sweep just sounds. Oh, excuse me. Oh, yes. Tell the you take the pills.


Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim Falk may like it was it was like he left his watch inside your vagina and he wasn't just but he wasn't just putting his hand in to grab the watch.


He was trying to put it on inside the vagina. Yeah. Yeah.


That's the best way I can describe it. You looked like you were going to vomit.


It was awful.


I've seen people unblock toilets with less vigor, but only when you pregnant. I couldn't work out what it was. They're not bothered. I couldn't work out what he was doing so well to this day. Well, what they do is they.


No, no, no. They put them in and then they kind of sweep around the baby's head. I don't know why they do it. It's to help you move along. Oh, intense. It's very intense. You ask me.


There's nothing like that. Me, I just know. What is it?


What's the real name for a cervical cervical smear test yet? It's nowhere near that bar. It's actually genuinely not bad at all. You can have them for years. They're really super duper duper important if you've had to let it go and get it sorted ASAP in the doing them, even though covid happening, they're doing so. It must be a test.


But yeah, they just put a little clamp inside Auburn. Yup.


Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.


What's already the difference between men and women is Stotland. Yeah.


What do you mean. Is this Rosie. Is Asmir as bad as a sweep. Oh no it's not bad at all. I'll just describe it the word clamp and the phrase open you up cropped up in the first book.


A nine words.


Yes, but it is a whole kristofer that it's the same where a penis goes right or you know a sex toy or whatever.


It's the hole.


If you've just joined us. Welcome to Biology Life with This is a Christmas. What the hell is this? All these families could be listening to this on Christmas Day.


Shame on you. Turn on the Queen's Speech and sort your fucking life out.


Sorry, everyone. I got carried away. They know they just get a little excited. It's basically.


But anyway, so I'm looking forward to me, Mikovits, going in a hospital in a couple of weeks. Right.


Me positive news. Oh yes. Getting back to it. Sorry. So Sandra, Mom, you know what? She usually gets a Christmas tree, don't you. Yes, every year. Yeah. She waits till the twenty third of December. Yeah. She got up Christmas Eve once. She did. Well I think if I remember rightly she went somewhere where there was selling Christmas trees and the war literally about throw them in the scheme. You got one for free.


Yes. On Christmas Eve. Yes. Yes.


She's a bit of a humbug. I don't know, like I don't know why. Because I love Christmas, but she just hates it.


Anyway, this year she got it on the eighteenth. Wow. That's early. Wow. I know. So she got. But do you know what you paid for.


It was a real one. It's a real one. The like twenty quid. Yeah. Usually she got it from Wick's ok. Uh huh. She got discount. Yeah. However two pound fifty is a disgrace.


I'm sorry. I know that's like save and money and that's great. And I put a fast shot up on DVD. Oh it's lovely.


Send us a picture please.


Hold this for a price that reflects how much I hate the holiday season icon can two point fifty. Yes please. And can you spit on us. Thank you. Goodbye.


It's reshaping Business Week. It's a little bit droopy and the needles are like all over the floor in the world. It's really funny. And she's got a wreath on the door.


Ruthanna from time.


Well, I might run past a nick that later on someone I know. I caught somebody on the security camera stealing the wreath at the last minute.


That's that's five.


Yeah. Oh, OK. You're right. Ba ba ba ba.


So although we're not going to dwell on the current situation, I have I've come up with a little coping strategy.


Right. OK, which genuinely I haven't told you about this. You sit down at this morning and it's making us feel like a lot better.


Obviously Christmas sumai the way my year normally pans out for the past few years as I'm basically down London doing telly or to around the entire country and then at Christmas. And I just that's when I see everyone and that's when I got the pope's call for restaurants. And, you know, that's me time, however, right? Yeah. What I did this morning was I remembered last New Year's Eve. Right. I can remember I popped to the Customs House.


I did a gig. Right? Yeah.


Then me, you and you and you and your mom went and sat in three of the bars in South Shields.


Yeah. And it was of. Shit, yeah, no one really remember was sitting in their dead, dead, freezing cold and don't even know what was on the television, Christmas songs and something I don't know crap, right. Drinks one million dead. Yeah.


When went bought our house, Scott said Happy New Year and then just.


And everyone left. Yeah. Oh shit. That was really shit. Just keep thinking that right.


Oh that's my coping mechanism. Whenever I think oh it's a shame you can't remember it. Shit. I'm just, I'm just holding on to that really shit time like someone who's had a bad experience. Customer service wants and will never use the certain company again. You know what I mean. I get it. So that's my coping mechanism.


So that all I'm saying is I know it's rubbish and I know you can't go out and stuff, but in your head, just to me, just to make it better, just in the short term, remember the shit you've ever had in your life.


I know, but I. I know, but I don't do that. Would you couldn't start doing it now. He mostly it was terrible. It was terrible.


But Chris, I know you've never had a good New Year's Eve. You never have you. Honestly. No, no, no, no melters. You're ruining.


I'm sorry. That's all you've got to give your shit this time you've ever had. That is quite good, actually, for a bit. All right.


So there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Think of the really, really terrible, terrible night out you've had and then you'll you'll be sat in the house again.


The thing and I'm glad I'm not out, honestly, I'm glad this has happened.


No, I'm gonna just stop you wanting to get that book of going out because we said we were going to talk about it went all over the world.




I don't think you are, but that's fine. Or oh, who's put on the jukebox in this pipe? Keep things still flat. OK, yes. Flat lipstick on this glass. This sting. Be at the bar. Piss on the toilet floor.


Yeah, yeah. Oh, shut the door.


Someone open it.


Or you know, not while you were in, while you while you sat in the pub into the door. It's all right. OK, like shut the door. You can't get a taxi. Chris got a boogie taxi ages in advance. But well if you want to go home early or you want to go home late at night, then you go walk around for a taxi. Then you got to talk to everyone. Go and Uber, she will get you a walk.


She will stand in this queue all night. Same.


Yeah, that helps. Actually I feel a bit better.


I mean you mean you put the fire on don't work and I'm go to. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. It's time for what are you beefing ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.


Now, these aren't really Christmas briefs. I've just got to be. I'll go first. Might be with you this week. Something you just started doing really annoying. What did you do it for a while. The other day before. I actually don't. It's not. It's not.


Yeah. So Rosie eats chocolate yogurts, chocolate mousse or yogurts. She calls the yogurt the same yogurts that you were on. You will be on five a night when you were pregnant with Robin.


I've cut down you cut down your own about massively, but only by a week and has fallen apart, falling apart. So it's just for a week. How caprese parts of joy anybody really wants to know.


And what I'm starting to see is this is starting to make sense because you're obviously trying to save them a bit more. Right.


So what he does is she dips a spoon in it doesn't really use as a spoon, dips it in like it's a lolly going in a Tip-Top. You just dip it in like a chip and resource. You pull it out. It's not what you do when it's the way you do it.


She kind of holds for if you can put it in your mind's idea, she kind of holds the spoon.


So it's perfectly horizontal across a face out, almost like a violinist, and she holds it right in front of her mouth and basically just flicks the tongue out and just and just licks off it like a cut, but almost like rhythmically like, look, look, look, look, look at the mouth.


Horrendous, like you see them, you know them start use the Chinese cuts that you wear the with the hand and the tongue pops up. Yes.


I mean I went the other day, I watched her do it for ages. Then I had to go what in the name of fuck are you doing?


And you don't get much in them. Right. So I do think I am saving a little bit. But rather than just putting it in in your mouth and eating it like that. Horrible.


Can I not just do things in the open, do it. You've got frame like the frame I used to learn on strictly like hold me elbow up and shoulders down elbows. It's almost like a strictly ballroom dancing frame.


You adopt what you do. And I was taught at the time so it was like eye contact over the spoon or your fucking iguana. It was awful. Stop it.


I didn't like it at all. Grace, I've got three left. And you know what it is actually, I haven't even spoke about I don't know how would manage to not speak about this in McNorton unspotted today. Remember that random dessert that you just invented to the other month that you were just eaten was en masse.


But so the other month it came and went.


You've stopped doing it. So why haven't you mentioned it? I thought I'd bring it up now. Right.


I don't know it just for a while after your dinner, you would just fill a bowl with some Rice Krispies and then melt some dairy milk and just eat melted chocolate and Rice Krispie Rice Krispie cakes just not hardened.


Yeah, like Zabad. What kind of a fucking pig?


Oh, I, I fancy a Rice Krispie cake, but fuck it is set even though it's four degrees outside and I've got a fridge.


She would guys she would literally pour Rice Krispies. It will bowl and melt some chocolate and stir it up and eat it like.


Like cereal. Yeah. Unbelievable. Like milk. It's unbelievable. But you know why that happened.


Why what goes for my birthday? I got a massive big dairy milk. And was it me, mom or dad?


You don't want me? Dad bought it and I was like, well, I just want to eat them like normal.


So I want to spice it up a bit, but run out of them now. And I mean, I was like, this is not healthy.


You know what is really bad? I didn't stop. You got this food. Ramsay didn't stop you getting this spoon favor and join in n did killing yourself dirty little heart I swear.


Honest you love but that didn't you like me off now you we spoon all God tonight. Oh and I had cornflakes a couple of times.


You hey I wasn't there. Yes you were wasn't there. I didn't see the conflict.


Something that might be unbelievable. Dooby dooby dooby beef with you this week is since you are not on tour and not seeing your friends is probably dead. And I've said this before. You keep bringing your friend Bunda in our relationship and I don't like it. Right.


Look, it needs to come out somewhere.


You recently, every time I see something or I tell you a fact or I tell you something that's going on, you see it to me straight away without hesitation.


I told you that and you didn't tell me that.


Oh, really, Waynesville? Because the thing I'm telling you. Yeah, I know. But the thing I'm telling you serious and you go, I told you that. And I'm like, no, you didn't. And I fall for it every time you get right. I hate myself for falling for it, but stop it. It's not funny.


You know, it's really weird. I actually genuinely the shops today and I was on the way back and a phone call, Hutchinson, and I was actually bragging about how much you got warmed up by that. I was like, oh, we new one that I do. Rosacea tells us something and I just go, I told you that.


And you just have retired it, you know, I don't know when are you going to catch on?


I hit the roof because you do it very convincingly, which is really sad. And then because I repeat myself quite a lot, because we've been. With each other, I'm like, did he call you Mike? No, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was like a form of gaslight and you being just like me. Yes, allegedly.


Allegedly, jokingly, just like that's what you do. So, no, I do. I sometimes think. Have you told me that I do that all the time, though. People tell me things and I'll tell them I'll tell them back the fact that.


Yeah. And they'll be like I told you that I'm like, did you.


Oh, right. I'm literally only doing it for a rise out of you. And because mining calls thing is, we just wind each other up constantly on to it. And I've had a year off that. I know. So that you get in the overflow, you get the overspill. Very sorry door.


Right. I'll try. Please come on Christmas.


OK, I'll try my best Christmas ever. Is it denial. Is it true. Did you put that tree up. So just can't just a double.


Double. Robidoux, Babalu, Babalu, but it's time for questions from the public. Go to the public Christmas, Christmas, guys, I was always if you want to get in touch it.


Shackman Annoyed at Gmail dot com, obviously.


Please don't send any more Christmas stuff in because this is the last episode we'll be told by Christmas stuff. So just send your stories, your dilemmas, your office pools, all that kind of stuff. And thank you very much in advance. Let's dive straight in, Rosie.


I've done quite a few of them this week. I'm very excited. A few little ones for you.


I'm a dive straight and Christmas Day, I think Christmas Day of all days.


Most people in the country will have a cook breakfast over, you know, I think Christmas Day on Christmas Day do not think we all we all just have a big song on a Christmas Christmas morning.


But but it's just something put it. But no. Why? Because why? Because he eat a lot on Christmas Day. That's why it's so important. Because you start as you mean.


No, I'm a question girl on Christmas Day. I know I'm I'm a piano shockable.


I have been with you for seven years. Yes. Something is nearly right. You've never had a cross on Christmas Day.


Yes, I bloody Christopher. Why are you trying it? Why are you pretending to these people who've heard you say all kinds of discussion stuff while you randomly try to make them think on Christmas Day a bit French, do what you do and don't even don't start because panish chocolate is on my shop at Christmas.


It's on the Christmas shopping. I have a question or a chocolate on Christmas morning, and I can't believe that you've never noticed.


I haven't. I was not. Well, I'm honestly, I thought y'all I swear I don't I don't have a bait and Tony on up like that. I have a question. It's B thing.


So we was just on because this this thing is about being someone much this email. I was like I just as a flippant remark of, you know, everyone has a song on Christmas morning. I thought most people did.


Well, I don't, but that's fine.


We'll be living a lie to begin sound, which is different to a full fry up a full freight on Christmas morning instead of full.


Almost like a being. So or Exxon. Yeah, something a bit. A bit more. Sort of. You're going to start drinking early. You want to start getting coming to my big dinner. Some people have stolen us again.


My point is start as you mean to go on. On the day, yeah, get a little big and then you get a big, you know, big and bit of bread. Well, I disagree with box office. Mm hmm. Yeah, no, I'm going to work on watching you this Christmas Day and watch it.


And if you haven't done any I haven't done any food jumping this year because my mom was making the dinner. I haven't done any food shopping. I need to go to the shops and get me a microphone and me early on afternoon.


Mrs. Ramsey. Yeah. You have your annual croissant again? I am, yes. Thank you.


Merry Christmas. But what is it?


What's French for my Christmas? Bon Bon Jovi is that stuff. Merry Christmas.


Yeah, it's not just sit in an accent, right? This Emilian right now, I seem about sandwiches.


It's emailed in by a girl and I can't really work out what side of the argument has fallen on her.


OK, I'm just having a dilemma. I can't work. I can't work out, by the way she's written it, what side she is for and against. See if you can, OK.


Hi, Rosie and Chris, I love your podcast. And I have a question for you.


When you have a big sandwich, do you a used to soft, delicious, flavorful pieces of white bread with butter and the source of your choice, or B, destroy the sanctity of the pig and sandwich by fucking toasting the fucking bread, you cut the roof of your pissing mouth and have no sauce on it. Like a goddamn animal of a boyfriend that I live with.


I can't work out. She's Tony. She's torn. She really has to be torn. You know, if I if ever I've seen someone going right down the middle and being nonbiased.


Yeah, that's it. Yeah. She is on the fence.


Cheering What a tough decision.


I've got to agree with a. Got to be soft bread, got be so don't be Torstein, your bacon sandwiches, do you talk to bacon sandwich? Do you know what? I don't but I've had one before and I enjoyed it, not Yavin it to draw. I think it would make it really dry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What did you do.


What you mean what did you have. Somebody made it first. Right. But it was toast. OK, with butter. Bacon. And did you why did you not throw it back in the face?


Because it was delicious. Awful. I love toast kind of bread. Was it a white.


Oh, that's OK. Mm hmm. Honestly, a bacon sandwich on brown bread is the saddest thing in the world.


You really hate being someone. John Breakstone is so upsetting. It's so fucking upsetting. Why? It's like it because it's like it's not fulfilling what I wanted. Someone goes on a bacon sandwich. Oh, yeah.


Do one little bloody treat. Salty, greasy, fatty bread stodge. Come on. I want a treat.


Jane. That's like going off don't you, this cake. But instead of ayson it's a handful of spinach.


Yeah. Oh no icing at all on the ice at all. Or fruit cake fork that you tried to fruitcake that I didn't, you didn't go down horrible.


And I went and I went, oh you know what I decided I didn't like that when I was a kid and I'll try it again. Awful. Robin Robin in the ice and off the top saw I had nothing. I had nothing to eat.


Try and mince pies again this year because I never liked mince pie. I didn't understand them. I was like, why not mince pie? See everything I'm saying?


Did we. Yeah.


Did did we talk about last year's episode of Christmas episode, the fact that until very recently I thought it was like Balinese.


Yeah. Oh yeah. We talk about that last year. Ridiculous. No idea what you means.


And I was like, what do you mean it's treatments that currants and stuff. Yeah. No, I thought it was like beef. Yeah. Sweet beef.


Do you know what a lot of people have been doing. Well that I've seen on Instagram got the being taken the top of a mince pie, putting a bit of cheese in Stilton and then putting them in the oven.


So the melt. Right.


And obviously is a cheese head. I think that's disgusting. But I think if you like cheese and you like mince pie, I like losing a mind over them.


Well, I don't like either of them. Think so. So it will not be doing that here. I'm going to file out what you've just told us in Niebuhrian. Don't forget, if I want to get on, it's got clobbered.


Dooby dooby got another one here. Now, people always ask to be kept anonymous and stuff and it's not it's not that bad. And it's from Australia as well.


OK, but it's just it's just strange the way they've said it.


It doesn't like please keep me anonymous says let's be friends and blah blah blah. It just starts with please keep names out of this.


No like fucking I like I but I'm listening now. But it's not even that you see. Oh is it. No but it's interesting.


OK, listening to the scooter disappear on the Christmas special reminded me of the consequences that befell our son.


OK, he didn't enjoy having a baby sister so he took the delight of annoying the crap out of her for the first eleven months of her life.


This did extend to stealing stuff from her just to make her cry.


Oh, we take stock of the baby. Well, just playing with that just to make a cry arise, OK? Oh no.


I was a pretty new parent. The best we could come up with was telling him that's something that would only give him. And I don't know if this is an Australian thing, but it's not cool, son.


I would only give him a bag of spuds for Christmas as he kept being a little shit that might be the Australian equivalent to a bag of potatoes.


About much more you could do with a bag of potatoes. He decided to run the gauntlet.


Xmas morning. He wakes up. There is a big bag of spuds under the tree.


No, they didn't and went through with it. The act was either went through with it. How old is this kid? I don't know. But he's got a little baby sister.


Right? But there was a big bag of spuds under the tree for him.


He handled it pretty well till we then realized that the sports that we gave him were needed for Christmas lunch. So he got to watch them be skinned alive and burn through the oven door. He took it as a cop, and so we ended up giving him his presence on Boxing Day. That's that's fucking bold and it must have been rotten for the full day full of Christmas Day.


But little twat, what a little shit. Just like. Yeah, whatever. You know, sold it all of Christmas Day. I've thought about this, though.


I've really thought about this because, you know, we do a robin us watching you. Yeah. You better be good for Sunday. Well didn't that lady from next door threw a thing over the door?


Regular listeners will know that at Easter. Not last not this year ago when the one before and there was a bag of Easter eggs hanging over the fence for Robin from the ladies next door and maybe and me, I thought it was rubbish and I just pulled it off.


So I threw a full fucking bag of Easter eggs back over because they were in a carrier bag to which the next time the lady came to them and said, is he not allowed chocolate? And I said, why? And just said, because he threw this bag over me. God. And I didn't know this Jewish home. A Christmas ornament over didn't. Yeah, which was sweet.


It's a Christmas ornament and it's in there's just a note inside in red pen and a porcelain cup in cups and like what it called the letters C and B, good. Santa is watching you. Really. And then she's in the line to you. And we looked at that didn't work.


And we were like, can she here, Robin, she being what's left the window open? That's what I'm thinking.


She where she literally been sitting there going. He sounds like a step in here.


They need some fucking bottle.


Nanny McPhee, I'm going to help these out because I can hear that little twat screaming through these walls and they sort it out.


Ah, he's not that bad. No, he's great. But what my thing is, though, if your child. Because they're so right. Little twat. Yeah. There's some horrible kids out there. Yeah.


Still got Christmas presents so. Yeah. And I don't think it could go through with it.


This is the first instance I've ever been aware of where someone's going.


Oh yeah. Me too. I've never known anyone who's gone through with school. You don't get Christmas presents and then they wake up in the zone.


I mean my mum was ruled with an iron fist when we were growing up. We still got she'd never done that, nor she'd probably wanted to, but she never did. Yeah, but yeah, that's that's I find it really cruel, old man. But I've said it was said it last week one day if just do what you want. Yeah.


How can you be like oh well merry Christmas. Well I'm going to discipline my children a day. Oh I'm all right. You know.


Well the month beforehand when the tree's up, when you tell them son is watching, that's free discipline. Yeah. That's every discipline.


You know, there's a shitload of stuff coming near, but not if you're a dickhead or c Santa doesn't work with a school teacher does. Yeah. He's terrified of Japanese teachers. I think you really do.


You know what I think it was, Chris? I think you respect I just I know I've got respect from him one day. I really think you respect that. I don't think you scared of her because she's absolutely lovely. Well, two of them, the teaching assistant. Well, you just really respect them. And every time. So we've got it to the point in the morning, it was one to watch like Blumen YouTube and and all the shaitan in the morning.


You just want to go. No, you're not watching it before school. So we told him that his teacher said you can only watch CBB and that's been going on for months.


He fully believes he does. Yeah, great. On its feet. At one point he can be like, just get involved in quite a few aspects of my life.


Your teacher says don't run round the swimming pool by micromanaging.


And Robidoux Babadook, Babadook Ceruzzi.


We spoke, got a letter a couple of weeks, a letter, let's say email us. Oh yeah.


We got an email from the person who had a cup of tea in the shower. Oh yes. Which is a follow up one. Well, no, no, no. This is from someone else. But it has enraged and enlightened the whole. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone on Twitter is telling the stuff that they eat in baths and that the, you know, stuff like that. I got an email here from someone saying, hi, guys.


I was just this an episode ninety four about the girl who took a cup of tea into the shower. And I had to share my story. And I think I remember rightly the subject of this email was something like, Chris will be disgusted.


So I clicked on it straight away. Oh, and she's right.


All right. Has it got anything to do with Christmas? Nothing to do, right?


Well, Chris, when I said you can you get some questions from the public for the Christmas ball special one, it said, Chris, that's all for Christmas.


Right to it said I'd be discussed as well how to read and write. Right. Come on. So a bit of back story.


About eleven years ago, I just split up from my husband and I felt free as anything. So I thought I would enjoy a lovely hot bath and maybe a little snack in there, too. So I just.




So that's it. That's an intense marriage. People celebrate different things. No, but was she not allowed to have a bath for my grandson? Yes. She was living like Cinderella.


I celebrate my right with an iron fist, having a bottle of Java, it's in the water bill.


There is people like that. Well, good. Listen, good for her. Come on. Well, you might not.


I thought of enjoy a lovely hot bath and maybe a little snack there, too. Yeah. So I decided. What did you take in the bathroom? I'll give you three guesses.


OK, as a snack, she's written a snack, which has definitely a formula.


But you're talking about OK, which is my language.


I want to go through what are you want me to guess.


You've got three guesses. Your first guest, depending depending how far you've gone with it, if you close or if we allow the next little bit of a sentence in, that'll help you.


Right. OK, so she's took she's saying it's a snack, but you're saying it's a full meal. She's gone in the bath with it.


Right. Is it a sandwich?


Norbert, you claw your clauss, you are quite close. Gone next. Next one. It's not a sandwich but you close in the way the food is consumed. Also, it's piggy food. Yes, we are right, a piece of cake. No, you've gone further away. Says here, I thought you enjoy a lovely hot bath and maybe that's not in there, too. So I decided to order myself a pizza.


A kebab. Oh. Dirty, dirty, so dirty, so. Well, you know, she's just up for my fella. Yeah, she wants to have a nice bath for my favorite food. And I tell you what, though.


Wash your hands straight after a while, jury duty doing well, Kabab, and that is the goal, decadent thing. You're ready.


I put my food on the side while I got myself settled in in the bath, grabbed my kebab and started coming down on it.


Suddenly, bits of solid and kabab fell in the bath with me. So obviously I felt I had to get them out as I'm not a complete animal I could love.


This is the basket, right? This is this is this for me is the best bet. I thought I was a bit of a scumbag.


This is no gets worse, right. It gets worse before you ask. Yes, I did finish my food wrapped in my towel, sat on the bathroom floor.


What should drop it in the bath, that you could wrap myself in a towel and sat on the bathroom floor.


Talk about this. She did. She did not need to involve the bath element to this meal. Could you just talk about you could have just had a kebab on the sofa watching the telly. Yeah, right. And before you ask, I would definitely do it again. I just had to share, as I can imagine, the utter disgust from Chris, which is always fun to listen to piece. That's not why I mean, the ex split up.


I never ate in the bath when he was around. Thanks him Brackett's. I'll share my name as I'm not even embarrassed about it.


Well, good for you. That's amazing. Well don't know if welldone bottom is and why Kabah eat in the bath.


Before Kibar I had a Abercrombie in the bath once. Had a crooked one actually not that longer.


Houbolt, you brought me a crumpet. It was just black. I've been after that email.


You know, I did bring a company in the bathroom.


I didn't really visit a Kabab in the bath a bit more generally. I just. I just think bats are really sacred.


Just and really holy and I just feel like like the drill you're going to be getting like drips of like chili and garlic sauce dripping in your pockets for me, sitting only on the top, you're going to fuckin stink.


And my essentially washing yourself with a kebab, it's just not.


I just know I can kind of get on board with that and where she got the Kabab from will be delivered or delivered. How would you do your bath? Well, it's like having a Chinese takeaway in the bath. Yeah, it's you know, I kind of look a love. Thank you so much. And I love you from the bottom, my heart, because I'm a bath girl as well. And I've had a kebab before, but together I can't agree with it.


But I hope you're happy now that you've left. You sound like a dick anyway, you know the kebabs you want the no no Christmas abba dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby.


Chris and Rosie, an ex-boyfriend of mine, were once spending time telling each of their childhood stories. And we got on the subject of Santa and how we both found out he wasn't.


Almost, but not just in case. To why you've got children in the womb of what this is. You know, I nearly thought about doing like we're going to talk about this. Yeah, but people shouldn't be listening to this with kids around, so. Oh, yeah. Definitely not.


It's your own fault and. The way I found out was very standard and that I was told by a school bully that he wasn't real well, and that's a standard that's awful, but fair enough.


But his is the best he was around.


Rosie, imagine this, right? Right. He was around eight years old and was helping his grandma out with a church Christmas fete. And Sunday, I walked in the room, I think it was just before the kids were queuing up to meet him outside, although otherwise that would have been lots of kids dreams shot at that day. So the kids are queuing outside. Consultants come in to sort of set up, OK, well, this lad's in is eight years old and he's with his grandma.


Yeah. Christmas fit.


Santa was in the room getting ready to meet the kids when he suddenly keeled over and had a heart attack.


Oh, no. Oh, no, no.


An ambulance had to be called. It was all very dramatic. CPR was given the Santa and that was that Christmas dreams were shot at.


Prahlad was like, lose any shit that had to be told by the wayside. Santa is not real. This is just a person. But that's just his bad.


That's gonna send us help. You don't meet the real the real fantastic the moment come down to earth in the moment.


I mean, the most of course not nice to see is it.


Hell, imagine that man. He is. I mean, do you know my mom told my brother that Santa wasn't real. Yeah. Why? Well she didn't mean knew, but he was questioning it. Right.


And I think they were talking about it at school and I think he was about ten. Right. And obviously me and my sister knew by this point and I think he was asking me, ma'am, but like, mom, Santa is not real. Yes, he is.


Your mom is your mom. And my mom was like, well, Kevin, no, but, you know, and they broke down crying really absolutely broke his little heart. I mean, Mom still talks about it now and how bad she feels.


Wow. Yeah. See, a similar thing almost happened. I can't believe this just popped me head it. I know I've never told you this and I can't believe I'm not told.


Oh I love it when when I find out something of that sort it out.


I think I said last year that I believed in a little bit longer than everyone else because you're asado guy.


I used to go to a sports shop in Metro Center when when my mom was buying me dad stuff for like she was over for his football team.


And I, I said, well, look at the baseball gloves. And I never asked for one, but I always looked at the baseball. I was obsessed with them not seeing them in films and cartoons and stuff.


And on all that second thing I said last year on Christmas Eve, I randomly said to me, Mom, do you think it's too late?


Ask for a go of a baseball glove off Santa. And she said, Oh, thought it might be. Yeah. And I wrote it down. I brought on a Post-it note and stuck it on the fireplace. And lo and behold, I had one on Christmas morning and I couldn't fucking believe it.


I was like, oh my God, he's real. They came down the chimney, raised magic wand and he gave us it. And I was like over the moon with it.


So I believed, like, lit a lot later than I showed. All right. How old were you then? About sixteen.


Seventeen, eighteen. And no, I must have been like, yeah, eleven, ten, ten, eleven. I think eleven.


I kind of knew my mom and dad hadn't really said anything at school like you don't even Sunday.


And I was like, no. And then one day in December that was really quite proud of myself. My mom was like, now Chris like, you know what and what she didn't like sits down.


It just came up what, put the tree or something.


And I mentioned Sun and she went, now, you know, you know, now don't you're old enough to know that something is not real.


And I literally went, what was it like when I went, I know I you little shit I like immediately welled up like me best.


OK, well I mean, I know you are fully aware Mother got you punkt.


If Robin ever asks because he's quite a Switched-On kid. I've got a funny feeling he will ask baby like well what have you got us for Christmas. Mom and dad Santa got me all this. What have you got. As I, I'm considering telling them that we pay Santa. Is it OK for me to go to Robin? Look, yes, son.


I got you all that stuff, but, you know, tidy up a piece for it. I like broadband.


See, this is where it gets really difficult with Santa in being a parent and whole thing because, you know, Lord, people do different things. Right. So I know some families who Santa brings one present and all the rest are from the mom and dad. Right. And then there's like, oh, everything Robin get is from Sunday, didn't get anything from us. And that something that's. No. Why are you telling me? I've told him.


Yep, I'm sick. Let's be quiet. Santa, you have something you make no more complicated than it needs.


I'm no I'm trying to get some fucking credit for all his presence are going to be there and I'm not going to get any credit for them. You don't need any credit for them. Have you met me all night? Would I need credit for everything? That's that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.


I just feel like it would be a good system. I feel like you believe it. Go. And I could literally, like, put a little gold envelope food or as the sun a bill. Oh, hey, Robert, you want to thank your dad double because.


Look, Bill, stop money. You got a tenner off an island and you went shopping, boarded up now and.


We'll be getting a pizza the night Abu Zubaydah.


Bob, thank you so much for coming back week in, week out in listening. And we hope you have a very, very happy Christmas. Merry Christmas from myself and merry Christmas from me and merry Christmas from new.


Do do do you know what I want on this?


Do you know what you do? Do do do do.


All he wants is a two front teeth. Did he get them.


Find out next week. Have a wonderful day. Take yourselves lobbyist.


Watch what you do. And everyone shocked by what is now part of the cast. Create a network rules. You've got to see it. But I do want to pay these bills. Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas.


Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.


Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.