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Hello, welcome to SmartLess. I am Jason Bateman, one of the less smart hosts, even less smart is Will Arnett and truly dumb is Sean Hayes we each have invited, well, one of us invited guests per week. The other two don't know who that person is. Some of it's going to be funny. Hopefully you won't cry and hopefully you learn a little something. So let's get started.

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SmartLess is presented by AutoZone, America's number one battery destination.

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Get in the zone, AutoZone. Don't threaten me with a record button. OK, I don't give a shit if we're recording right now. We're doing a podcast and I'm having my candy.

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What is it today, Will?

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It's always Reese's. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

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God help us.

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Not sorry. Who wasn't on the first episode or was it was Cadbury was not.

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I remember. How many of those do you eat during the show when you don't, do you? I don't know, Sean. You know, that's you, dude. That's what you sound like, you know.

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God, that's weird because I can hear myself in my headphones.

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I don't you sound just to get a reporter on. And the subject is how much chocolate to eat. I don't know.

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Look at his face, I would say, for our special, because you're going to be really excited about this.

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Our special guest is a eight time congressperson from the state of Illinois.

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What probably not properly said, a graduate time congressperson, congressperson, a graduate of Oxford University in Oxford, England, also a current professor emeritus at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

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Who is this? Please say hello to our guest, Melissa McCarthy.

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Thanks for doing just everything. I'm not it really sounds like why I love you guys, I guess is the funniest person I know.

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I think I think you're the funniest person I know. Listen to me.

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You are all of those things. You are. Why, thank you. I'll just say she's one of my favorite people in the whole world. Whole world. You're one of my favorite.

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Honestly, you're really doing a center part. Bateman Well, listen, I'm not putting I put product in my ear since March 15th. And so what you're getting a chance to see is the true water buffalo.

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And I'm like like you with longer hair. I think it looks good, actually. It's good to. Yeah, I bet it looks good when you're brushing it out a bit. It looks good. But then when you put it on, does it have the same consistency.

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Right. First of all. But also in that humidity, let's forget it, it just curls up into a ball.

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I have I literally have not had a brush in this hair since I was 12.

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I truly believe that's truly true. I swear on my kids life.

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You have here for like six people on top of your head.

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Yeah, it's a lot of. Yeah. Somebody else brushes that out when it's on the stump. I mean I this is the zipper one so.

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Oh yeah. Not the snaps. The snaps. It takes a little bit longer.

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Yeah. The wind but with the zipper. It's good. It's a sport piece. It's nice.

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Wait so this is what I didn't know and I love finding out more about you because I just think that you're the greatest. Nobody makes me laugh the way you do.

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But you when you you when you graduated from high school, you went to high school in Joliet, Illinois.

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I did prison adjacent prison. So Dax [Sheppard] and I shot that prison movie at the Joliet prison.

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I drove we drove by the prison every day to get to high school. And my mom, whenever I would look over my mom, would always go to look at them. You don't want to rile them up.

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I was it like pulling up my Catholic schoolgirl outfit? I literally would just glance over. She said, go look at them, you'll get them riled up.

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There she is again.

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Here's a dumb interview question, but I've always wanted to ask you, since I've got you, how amazing is it to always work with your husband and turn out great stuff?

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And then what is the most difficult part like?

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Do you ever just like because I make these stupid fun videos with my husband and it almost always ends in a divorce.

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I almost always oh, we can't get it.

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We have to go on our corners and think about our actions. That's going to be on your side, too, because Scotty's such a nice guy. That's got to be your fault.

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It's definitely Sean, I want you just stormed out. But it's both of us.

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It's yeah. No, we're just like, well, then maybe we shouldn't do it. And then we go away and then we count to ten and then we come back.

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We've never had we've never I love it. It's my favorite thing on Earth and we've never had a fight about it. I think we always like we talk about whatever we're doing so much and often we've written it together. So we really know it. Yeah. And I think neither one of us really has much of an ego in that way that it's like, oh, you don't like it. That's probably a red flag. And let's think of something else that's nice.

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You guys used to write sketches together, like how long have you had the Groundlings? Yeah, you did.

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You see you guys would write stuff together and then and then you got married and then you guys started making movies and TV shows and stuff like that. And then you started working with. Some directors that maybe were not so you didn't really like and you were like, oh, honey, I wish you were directing, saying it's like, great, I will.

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That's exactly. It was just that easy. We just it all happened in like a week.

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And no, I actually have loved almost all of the directors I've worked with. Like I mean, I've done a million things of Paul Feig and Ted Melfi, and so I'm pretty lucky in that way. But it was really when we wrote Tammy, it was the first time somebody asked us, like, would you like want to write something? And Ben and I had already written Tammy and and we were going through all these directors and people. You know, when you meet with someone, they have kind of a very different idea of how to shoot it.

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And I think they wanted me to be like wackier in it. And I was like, wow, she's she's kind of a mess. It's a little sad, too. And then it was finally like we couldn't land on a director that really felt right. And when we got an amazing opportunity, we were there like we were both supposed to directed it first and then it's so complicated to do with two people that he just did it because he's the man.

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Sure, sure.

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And that's how it works in America. You guys are so great working together, too. And then and the fact that you can travel with the girls, too. And it's I mean, it's just it's too good.

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It's pretty dreamy. We mean, we live and travel like we're circus people.

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But it's great you hit on something really great, which is you said, you know, that they wanted it to be sort of bigger or crazier or whatever.

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And of course, you've had incredible success. I'm actually going to say something serious for a while. You guys were about to lose their minds.

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Hear the music. First of all, did you remember the first time we met? Oh, boy. Is this a serious part. I just thought about the first time we met. I'm going to see if you get it right.

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I was wondering if it was with Dax [Sheppard].

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No close.

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If you came to Groundlings

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It was with somebody else.

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I was working with Santa Claus.

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Christina. Apple argues that the first I think so first met you, there was the first time we actually, like, formally met. Well, she's a real peach. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So but I was going to say. So you so people you've had incredible success being super hilarious, but also you've had a lot of success being very dramatic.

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You've you know, you were you've been nominated for two Oscars. That's incredible. One was for bridesmaid for it's for being funny but the other one for can you ever forgive me that I thought was really such a even though you were nominated, it was still very unheralded performance. You were so good and unbelievable.

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Incredible. Incredible. Oh, God, you guys loved it. Jason and I, we saw you. We spent a minute. We had dinner one night. We had lunch when you're in New York.

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And I think you were probably shooting that at that time. And I think it was I didn't realize that you were doing that. And I'm such a I was such a fan of that movie.

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I was just I found it to be so moving and and Bateman so jealous that you got nominated.

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It's all Italian. This and the inner you can see look at look how craven his eyes are.

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But I didn't see the hate mail from Bateman. I get it's you do the voodoo dolls got pins all over it even though he cuts out the magazine lettering, you know it's coming from.

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But but do you now that you'd kind of done that a few times is and you've really got that muscle, is that something that you're going to do more of or is that is it something do you even think about?

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You just kind of do what you want to do in the moment, I mean, ideally, and tell him run out of town, which will inevitably happen. But I mean, I think doing both is so fun. It's like I always kind of it's really I fall in love with the character. And if it's a drama, comedy doesn't really occur to me until later. Right. Right.

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I was going to ask something along those same lines because of you. You're so great on my family.

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And we all know that like a this schedule and the lifestyle of a sitcom on television is pretty fantastic because it's like going to the office and you you don't have to you know, you're not doing fourteen, fifteen, sixteen hours a day. It's like go to the office and you're the boss.

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Yeah, yeah. And and every day is half day and every day is a half day office.

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And do you miss that. I miss I loved having a live audience and I miss the people I loved everybody I worked with on that show, we were all really super close, kind of right from the get go. We just all really clicked. And there's such a great group of people.

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I think I'd love to do something that is that format without that need for like that certain rhythm. It was really it was really hard to because I had never done it. And like even doing like the rehearsals for everybody ahead of time, they'd always be like, that has to get a lot more energy. And I always say on the day, because I say it, Michael, I do a version of it, but I'll do it better, Sam, because.

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Right. Because I never wanted to do it full. I mean, it's exhausting. And I just think if I don't want to do it right in rehearsal and then bomb for the camera. Right.

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And you can't get that first reaction back. Yeah.

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So I was always like, I, I know how to cross a room and I can say the line. Yeah. So it was always like you but I don't and that's where the acting comes in.

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But I can act myself. No, but I would like to try it and have a looser non-traditional sitcom rhythm. Yeah. And and still get it like you know, still have those same hours and still work in front of a live audience because I thought that was what was so incredibly fun.

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Well, here's what I love about you, too. I mean, you're just like a pioneer in so many ways and comedy just because of being you.

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And like, you know, I remember also because you came across America and it took you five months to get through the mountain.

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Yeah, that's true. And I only had one cousin, but they were kind of terrible.

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Anyway, that's so crazy. She's a pioneer that we know. But because when you when you dumb, so dumb, when you when I was shooting this movie in Atlanta.

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Oh, this is fantastic. This is a great story. I was shooting the Three Stooges. And Atlanta, I heard the applause, yeah, thank you. Just tell our listener clapped and in Atlanta and I go by myself across the street to go see Bridesmaids.

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The weekend it came out and I was like, oh, my God, that's Melissa.

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She's still the she's like, I know you've heard it your whole life because it kind of helped launch you. Not that you weren't huge after Gilmore Girls. I mean, you were a huge star after that.

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But but I just was like, this is so incredible. Like, I don't know. You just I was so proud of you and so excited for you.

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And then in that same mall a week later, I go see the Green Lantern with Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. And I walk into the same all that I saw Bridesmaids.

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And there's Jason and Ryan shooting the change up.

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And I was there and I walked right in the middle of the scene and I'm like, hey, hey, Jason. It's like, what are you what are you doing here? And I'm like, Oh, Ryan, I'm going to go see your movie upstairs. Oh, my God.

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This thing that's so bizarre.

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And then you saw the story. You saw it and then came down. You came down and you said, Ryan, can I talk to you for a second?

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Yeah. After you saw it right as the picture locked, I have ideas. Is the picture locked?

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Oh, what about how I saw Bridesmaids at even before it was in the theaters? I saw one of these one of those premieres thingies. And I immediately I was working on a script about identity theft where this guy gets his identity stolen from this other guy. And I called the producers real quick and I said, hey, I just went to a premiere of something last night. Hasn't even come out yet. This woman steals there like we know what a premiere is.

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Dude, let's switch the role to a woman and let's approach this woman before she blows up. We can get her to real price. We hammered her down. We got her. We paid her three dollars. Fifty cents an hour under minimum wage.

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I remember you called me and we went and have lunch and you ordered a chicken salad. Of course, I'll never forget her.

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Where'd you go? Soho House. Oh, fancy Rose.

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Really fancy. How did you not walk away after that. How gross I was.

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I was basically just trying to get the lunch out of them. Yeah, but you take a salad to go. Did he take us out? Because I'd be really embarrassed that he thought you by the way. I'm talking with my mouth full. Yeah. Really swallow full of full of salad. Bateman loves to chat. He loves to stuff his mouth full of salad.

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So. Well I keep the casual you know, it keeps that he keeps it real casual.

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So you do like to shovel in a salad like no one else I've ever seen. It's crazy, right? Well, I don't know where it's deadeye.

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It's constant. And I'm always like, it's not going to run out of the bowl. You can take it down a couple of notches. It's not going anywhere.

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I got to eat it before it stops being cold and before the lettuce gets wilted. That's the resume.

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When he has the big bowl of it. I've had to witness just like the huge silver, the kitchen bowl that you all did it with a spoon.

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I don't care. Yeah, so I needed a car battery last week. Mine was dead. Car wouldn't start. Oh. What does that sound like. Like the cake, you know. So it didn't sound like the regular. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not I'm not running around like that because we're not, we're not in a cartoon. So I got the car jumped, went to AutoZone because they are America's number one battery destination. Oh.

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What did that look like? AutoZone It's you know, the store looked fantastic. Everyone was real nice. They tested my old battery. They they charged it for free, but turned out I needed a new one. What did it feel like? Good. I guess, you know, because they got me a a Durah last battery, the battery more consumers choose. So I felt very good about it. But what did the battery feel like. I got it.

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Sorry my bad. Why wouldn't I assume that you were asking about what the battery felt. Yeah that that's my bad. Yeah it was heavy Sean. I don't know the auto zone person took care. All that carried it for me because you know, I'm like a vehle. What. It's like the battery. You want to know that's not like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not answering the question. What did it taste like. Would they have snacks at the counter.

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So, so pretty good. Oh that's nice. I like chips and candy and so does and stuff.

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So my car wasn't basically starting at all. And now thanks to AutoZone, my new Durah last battery, it starts just effing great and you can buy this thing online at AutoZone Dotcom. You can pick up the battery the very same day for free. I'm very, very happy about the whole. And what does that sound like without me being happy? Yeah, it sounds like a dial tone.

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This is me hanging up on you any new. Get in the zone, AutoZone, Missy, I have another dumb question. Yes, what I like when you were growing up, like, who did you were like, oh my God, she's so funny.

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I wish I was like her are like, oh my God, I wish I'd give anything to be in that show.

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I mean, Madeline Kahn all the back made me crazy. Yeah. Gilda Radner and you know, everybody on SNL, I just was like, there's so also Carol Burnett, like, I just loved how.

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I love that feeling of when she would she would do something that was so embarrassing that I would get embarrassed.

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I mean, I just did you look at any any of the of the dramatic actresses and and think that that's that's something you want to do? Is that something that became more appealing to you as you got more and more sort of accomplished with comedy and just wanted to challenge something new?

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I never thought of it. I never thought about doing that. I just loved I really loved the character work when someone could be someone so kind of peculiar.

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And I think because I was so sick of, you know, really until kind of recently, most female parts were always so perfect and so quaffed and everything was so kind of not everything, but so many parts were kind of so boring because you're just like you're just always pleasant, nice. And there's no bumps and bruises. So when you see women doing comedic characters that were irritating or weird or bizarre, I just thought, oh, my God, that's so much more to this day.

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It's still so much more interesting to me.

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Look, I don't know how to play pleasant, but your approach to your characters, it takes so much acting talent to do the kinds of comedic characters that you do and make them believable, which is what makes them so funny. So do you. So then do you find the dramatic characters? I put in quotes that that's somewhat easier because the bar to be believable is much lower because the eccentricities are less. No, I do.

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I don't think there's less. I don't think they necessarily are less eccentric or specific. I think you don't have the added thing. You can just be believable. So you feel grounded. I think you're doing it. The thing that makes comedy so hard is you have to be believable and then you're swinging for the fences. You're trying to land a joke than any joke. The best joke in the world out of 100 people, 60 will love at 20.

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Don't get it. 10 offended, you know, and then so hard.

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And then the show and then the Sean is. So then the drama is easier than.

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Yeah, I think it's easier to be considered like that was a successful role. Right. Because comedy is so subjective, even though it really I think it's I mean you guys all know it's it's harder. Yeah.

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Yeah. Well dying is easy. Comedy is hard. If you guys heard that. No, no. And so. So no. And nobody's heard that and nobody wants to hear it. Do you think there's any knowing how hard it is to land a joke that way? Do you think Sean will ever do it? Like will he ever see?

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I think we're going to go just right there. And I was like, this is a different show because know as I pull my pants up to my nipples. Wait, Missy, I want to ask something else. Yes. Here's what's so cool about you.

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And so amazing is like, you know, all of the acting roles and all the accolades. And then you go on and you be this producer and this unbelievable producer that, you know, like what made you want to do that? And it's it is kind of so inspiring. And you are such like you seem to me, although we've never worked together and I hope we do one day.

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Odd. Isn't that crazy?

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I feel like in my heart we have so but so like what made you want to do it? Because to me you seem like you'd be the most incredible boss. You'd be like respectful and a monster.

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No, you're not only to those who deserve it, right.

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Melissa show. If you deserve it, you'll you'll get a taste. My fist. No, you know what? I think it's because seriously, the whole time I was in New York for probably seven years, just doing really just all dramatic work and started doing standup in the rooms, freaked me out because people were the hecklers. I just I didn't want to fight people. I just wanted to tell dumpsites. Yeah. And such part of the comedy rooms are like there is a guy in every single room.

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I never went on one night ever when as you're walking the stage, there's a guy that's like, take your top off every single time or like show us your blue, you know, and every single time I'm like, are you the same guy? Are you the sad, lonely guy? That's like you you've come here in like, do you really want me to take my shirt off? Like, I'll do it, that's for sure.

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But by the way, I hope it's the same guy, because if it is, it's a good it was it was bad. And it was it was that was that was his big move.

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Now. Well, know, that's why you look familiar to me.

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Well, but do you want to. Because you're so good at that. Do you want to do other things that where you're the boss?

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Yeah. I think it's also from doing so many. Like it was always like I you know, I say produce very loosely. Basically, I pick a play. You'd get a cheap place to do it. You'd carry folding chairs up, you know, three flights because I got a deal on this theater, which is really a rehearsal room. Right. And I did that for so many years. And then even at Groundlings, like you do, well, you're you're responsible for your own.

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If you want to do a show, you have to do it to get the. Have to get people to associate it, so kind of I think I didn't know when you started that I wasn't just supposed to do everything. And also I started on sets as a P.A. So to this day, I still weirdly like if somebody is like, we got to get the coffee table moved, I'm like, I'm on it. And like, I'm I'm forever being asked to stop moving furniture, but I love that.

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Well, I was standing next to the coffee table.

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I, I know it's like union rules. Union rules. I can move the chair. I think it's my Midwestern nature of like saying I'll just do it. And I find it all super creative. I like all the monotony of what's the rub going to be, where do we want to shoot, what's the location. I love the whole process, Melissa.

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That's the start of doing acting comedy. What have you. Sure. What did it come from? Like looking at the funny actors on SNL and Cowburn, or did it start earlier than that as sort of like trying to figure out who I am? So I'm going to pretend I'm different people.

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Are you hiding from. So it's me I'm projecting. What are you running?

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This is a place to tell it. When I killed that. No, you cry on the radio. You're like, if only they would call me to be on so I could reveal the true me.

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No, I again, I went into it like in a weird way. I moved to New York to go to a city and to do women's fashion.

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I didn't know that. That's so cool. But that's still something you pursue, right? You got to do something. I do. Wow. And I the first I've always loved it. And that's what all through high school, through college, like a little bit. I went to college. I was in clothing and textiles and.

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All right. Because you have your clothes line. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah.

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And when I got there, I moved in with one of my closest friends from back in Illinois. Brian Atwood is a great shoe designer now. And he he had a Village Voice. And I think the second maybe my first full night in New York, he's like, you're going and you're going to do stand up. I was like, all right. I mean, it was twenty. So I was like, how hard can that be? I also didn't know you're supposed to prepare for it.

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I you know, you're such a right. I just kind of got up and said I had like two pretty stiff drinks and got up on stage and was like just freestyle.

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Yeah. That's what I thought you did. I didn't know any.

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I was just oblivious, like Brian told me. And then it was it was really fun.

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So that's kind of the whole way I got into it. Wow. In two days later, I was like, I don't think I'm finishing college, mom and dad.

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No way. My favorite thing to hear is at your best, you're like favorite audition story gone wrong and your favorite, like, theater mishap like because you said you went up and winged it.

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Like, what was the worst, worst audition. I have to say was I went in for like, wow. Like it was like some western it was like a sequel to some very, you know, harsh Western. And it was a scene where I was be I was found wandering naked in the desert because I had been raped by like twelve American Indians.

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I read for the same part. Oh, yes, yes. And then I'd watched like three of my three children be murdered in front of me. And I was like despondent, wandering in the desert.

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Somebody this part is so funny so far.

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And I did the scene and it was like, you know, it was like a full hit, like you were I was mentally, like, out of my mind for obvious reasons. And when I finished and I was like I felt really connected to that the guy because, you know, some good actors, they can do something, but they don't have to overdo it. Did to do so much like you do when good actors do that. And he just kept and I'm still kind of like crying because I've been crying so hard during the audition, so I don't quite have my breath back.

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And he just kept mentioning, like, you know, when you watch good actors and do this. And I just said, well, I'm sorry, I guess I, I just, you know, I guess if I were raped and my children were killed in front of me and I was left wondering the desert, I guess I would be more upset than those good actors because really what I was.

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You say that that's perfect. Yes, I did. Because I was I was so confused. I was like, was I supposed to play it? Really like it? I just walked out crying. Unbelievable.

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Sounds like a sweet guy. He she was great.

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He was great. And then the worst theater one was Ben and I Groundlings are ground oh groundlings. And the second we were the psych was just about to open up and then we were going to enter and literally like it is maybe within the same second that they're about to open up. And Ben and I just look at each other and as if it's just occurred to us, I was like, oh my God, this isn't funny at all.

[00:26:37]

And these are in matching outfits. We were in like white jeans and like yellow turtlenecks and matching curly wigs. Like there was no there was no scene written I. We bought, like, funny outfits and I knew it. And even worse, we were going to get like glamour shots as a couple and I'm like, there's no point to the scene. There's no there's no there's nothing there.

[00:27:02]

And so about halfway through the scene, by the way, the audience was like, you guys suck, like the palpable energy of wanting us to go away.

[00:27:11]

So we were sitting up on these blocks, like posing and doing like we just have to keep doing like zany poses while the audience hated us. And so I flip back. I did a black flip off of the box and I hid down behind them. And I reached my hand up above the box and gave the signal to the light booth to block it out because I couldn't take it anymore.

[00:27:34]

And it was just my hand, my like yellow turtleneck arm coming up doing this, motioned for them to turn off the lights and they wouldn't. And I looked up I peeked up over the box and I saw that these two sweet guys in the lighting booth just laughing hysterically and saying no.

[00:27:50]

So then I had to go, whoops, I fell. Let's begin again. And we had to pick up the scene that I now made even longer and finished doing more poses.

[00:28:01]

And then the scene blacked out and we just walked off stage in silence.

[00:28:05]

Oh, my God. Clapped. I would kill to see that Sam would give it to you, that I would give anything.

[00:28:12]

It was just awful. Tell tell us about your goth period. You've told me little pieces about it before. But I want I want. I want it. I want it again.

[00:28:23]

Did you ever go, hey, wait, did you ever go dance at Medusa's downtown. Oh my God. I was there every weekend. So was I.

[00:28:29]

Oh, my God. We've probably danced with really, really faces together.

[00:28:33]

Like, that's so crazy, right? Totally.

[00:28:36]

Would you describe the scaffolding or do. Absolutely.

[00:28:38]

I needed to be looked at. God, I dance.

[00:28:41]

I would dance my ass off to people.

[00:28:44]

What kind of intoxicants happen at this place is in the Jesus was a juice bar as a juice bar.

[00:28:50]

What ground alcohol go before going in. Uh huh. Don't do that.

[00:28:55]

Kids say any any wicked hats or things like that for you. Whippets just like Boones Farm Everclear. Classy stuff. Sure. Sure.

[00:29:05]

Stuff like that. No ecstasy. There's no ecstasy, no name.

[00:29:08]

High school, none of that. Well, because Jason said goth and then I'm thinking Chicago. And I was thinking Medusa's, you know, like that literally every weekend.

[00:29:17]

So maybe you just didn't recognize Melissa because she was so banged up with her goofy work and and Susie in the branches and like Robert Smith, all jointly had a baby dream come true.

[00:29:31]

Are there pictures? There's got to be pictures. There's not that many because we didn't photograph ourselves every second because it was like, I would say seven, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. And then like through my first two years of college, like Super eight, like full blown full length, like black cloaks, huge platforms when no one more platform's amazing.

[00:29:53]

Thank you. Rubber stacked on to make me even taller now and just total Kabu like black hair and.

[00:29:58]

But isn't that isn't that so hilarious. I have so few photos from seventeen to twenty five, so few of myself. I have lots of other people. Oh yeah.

[00:30:09]

They're not, they're not great. You're not missing anything.

[00:30:12]

No but but so you so, so this, so this period of your life is fairly undocumented.

[00:30:19]

Thank God. Yes. Thank God.

[00:30:21]

And it was just me we would like go to. It's we lived in gay bars and liked anywhere where you could dance like I'm sure we hung out.

[00:30:30]

Did you go to Berlin. Yes. How could we see each other.

[00:30:34]

We I will. I bet falen is not that the city. Yes.

[00:30:39]

Which I just like a year to a year or two ago we were driving, it was in Chicago and I literally screamed as if we'd hit someone and I was there I think for I think we were working on something and it made the driver pull over and people were rattled because I didn't mean to. But I screamed in such a weird way and I was like, oh my God, it's Berlin. It's still there. And I took a picture in front of it.

[00:31:00]

But they were like, we thought that literally someone got hit by a car. I was like, no, it's Berlin. It was like the best club and the best music ever. I loved it as great.

[00:31:09]

I can't believe it. I'm sure we were there at the exact same time. It was weird.

[00:31:13]

That's so crazy. Yeah, that is crazy.

[00:31:18]

So listen, I know that some of you were sleeping on some pretty crappy old mattresses, and I hate to be disparaging, but it's true. How do you know? You look at people's houses and how they live is disgusting. But my point is and obviously if I brought up the mattresses is obviously I got my Hilux mattress, which I've been waiting for. So did I. Delivery and set up was so easy. It came in this box. I cut it out.

[00:31:37]

It just completely just materialized. And it was super, super easy. I slept on it that night and it was absolutely I'm not joking. I've had like shoulder pain and I keep mentioning every day to my partner. It really hurts and my shoulder and she's like shot up since I've had this mattress, which has been about 10 days, zero problem with my shoulders. How about that? Amazing. And I took that quiz, which they pointed me towards the midnight.

[00:32:01]

Oh. Which seemed to work for me. I took the quiz to two minutes it took to take this quiz that dialed me into their sister brand called Bertsch. This is an organic, all natural wool latex mattress. I know it sounds very Hollywood, but it's Billis William.

[00:32:16]

And now they're also offering 200 dollars off old mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at Helix Sleep Dotcom smart lists. You're giving people two of your pillows. I am personally stuffing all these pillows. Come on. One feather at a time. Oh, no. I'm just so excited about my mattress. I truly am. I'm all giddy. We're kind of giving a new meaning to let me sleep on it because now we're actually looking forward to sleeping on it.

[00:32:43]

Yeah.

[00:32:44]

Good for you. Melissa, are you loving all this home time, like, what's a perfect day for you now that you're at home? Like, do you sleep in late? Do you go to bed late?

[00:32:55]

I get super early. Yeah, I get up super early and I go and I sit out in my yard and I have like a couple coffees. You got a laptop with you out there? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:33:06]

Sometimes I listen to a podcast. Sometimes I'll like I'll look through the paper. Sometimes I watch a barsh.

[00:33:14]

I'm really pretty böge you hit and Bosch. Bosch. Oh the show. The show.

[00:33:21]

Shemin Bushlike come on pretty hard. So it's really awesome.

[00:33:25]

I'm out there just watching Bosch and that's on the that that's on the outdoor TV or is it on a laptop. Is it my iPad.

[00:33:32]

And like that's what I'm doing at six fifteen or I'm like reading the paper. It's like it's, it's one of the other and a garden. Oh wow. Physical paper. You get a paper delivery.

[00:33:41]

No, no not anymore. I love a real paper but did you say garden. I'm gardening like crazy. Are you really.

[00:33:49]

What are you growing vegetables and fruit or this just officially turned into an NPR show. Yeah I know.

[00:33:55]

I'm like I'm proving that I'm the world's most boring person. Oh, no, no.

[00:33:59]

I've gotten super into things that you can regrow. Like if you cut romaine and leeks and celery, you can set them in water and they regrow like a celery. Now, regrow a whole thing of celery.

[00:34:11]

Oh, I'm into that really. And they keep doing it and I'm fascinated with it. I have like twenty growing around my yard and I have, you know, tomatoes and artichokes.

[00:34:19]

And I'm doing that with my organs. I'm doing with my organs in the bathroom. I'm doing that.

[00:34:24]

Listen, Bateman, tip of it in a dish. Just tell me where you're going and he'll crack that window behind him and yell at his gardeners to grow the same thing. And you guys will have the same stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:34:33]

Now, you taking these vegetables to the farmer's market or you cooking them. Yeah. You yeah.

[00:34:39]

She she's out in Brentwood every Saturday for six hours. You go fuck yourself baby Jesus Christ.

[00:34:47]

And I bargain hard.

[00:34:49]

Yeah. Are the girls helping you or. They're making fun of you know, they make fun of me.

[00:34:54]

They make fun of me and like every time like I bring in I'm like, look, this is a bowl of strawberries from out there. That's great. Yeah. I'm like, Bubu, we grew these like I grew these for you.

[00:35:04]

And they're like, OK, now, Melissa McCarthy, do you do your children show any signs of wanting to do what mom and dad does?

[00:35:13]

I think so. I don't know if they want to admit it like this. My my 13 year old, she played me and something that we just found and she had like a pretty sizeable part in it. So good. And it was so and she's she was really like strangely good. Like, I was so nervous. Be like I don't want her to feel pressured and like, what are we doing? And leading up to it, I was like, oh my God, I'm ruining like, what are we doing?

[00:35:35]

We said we would never let them do anything till they were like an adult. Mm hmm. And she really wanted to. And it was so weirdly good. And I'm not trying just like really kind of like you could see her. Like if somebody would say something to you, watch her, like hear them and then like sometimes she would improvise, like just a really earnest line back. And I was like, what is going on? Like, people were like, holy God, I ask you, she wants to do more.

[00:36:03]

And she's like, I don't know.

[00:36:05]

Yeah. Oh, my little ones. Like, yes. And she wants to be an actor and a chiropractor.

[00:36:09]

There are a lot of those in L.A. isn't a dime a dozen.

[00:36:12]

What is the what is what is the first and strongest piece of advice you'd give to both of them if they said yes, here I go. I'm doing it. Jason, have yours shown interest? It's I feel like it's starting to come.

[00:36:25]

Yeah. Yeah. Do you think so? Yeah. It's probably the influence of those devils over there.

[00:36:29]

You're my terrible thing, your terrible children. I, I would just I think the only advice I would just say do do everything that interests you and don't worry about the outcome and just keep working at it. Don't expect I don't expect to work. Period. Just do the work, yeah, do the work if the job will come later, but right. Yeah, my terrible advice was terrible fucking advice. I expect everything the world owes you a living and expect it.

[00:37:00]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:37:03]

SCHAUDER Short and getting shorter. Sure.

[00:37:08]

The only thing that should be shorter than your shorts is your fuse. Have a real short fuse which is much shorter than it's a real powder keg over here all the time.

[00:37:22]

I got four boys now as well.

[00:37:24]

Oh my God. Yeah. And it's a it's a yes.

[00:37:27]

Yeah, it's a real powder keg over here.

[00:37:30]

Are you getting up or are you hopeful. Yes. Don't I look. Oh no, no.

[00:37:36]

Are you are you sleeping since June 30.

[00:37:39]

No, I know I look like I do, but these guys know I am a very hands on.

[00:37:47]

Yeah. Yes. It makes us all look bad. Really.

[00:37:50]

I am. I am. I am literally eleven year in a row dad of the year. It's true.

[00:37:55]

It's true. I don't know how you do it. Well how do your kids show any signs about Archie doesn't who's 11 a.m. does.

[00:38:06]

Yeah. Consistently Abels really. Would you be into that. No.

[00:38:10]

Amy and I are always saying we don't want them to have anything to do with it. And then why is that?

[00:38:17]

You know, I don't have kids and I hear all the time people who do have kids that are in the business don't want their kids to do the business they're doing. Why is that? Well, for me, for this this particular business is that it's just not a meritocracy. You know, like, I wouldn't I wouldn't want my kid to while they're young enough to to really decide one way or the other, I'd rather them go into a line of work where a diploma, a degree can guarantee a certain sort of a starting salary, some sense of longevity and job security.

[00:38:50]

You know, this is it's so sort of subjective that there's no job security.

[00:38:54]

That's a good for me. It's more I don't want the competition, you know, because I keep I look so young. I don't want to be going up.

[00:39:03]

Yeah.

[00:39:03]

I get if I get kids for the same part, you know, I mean, I just feel like it makes me want to hire your kids so desperately needed to go on a real tangent to just get your kids work. Yeah.

[00:39:17]

One question I've always wanted. So you made you made. Can you ever forgive me with Richard Grant? I think we've talked about it, one of my favorite. And I got to sort of spend a little bit of time with him at a certain point.

[00:39:30]

He's one of the most influential guys on my career, one of the real true sort of idols, especially that performance.

[00:39:37]

And with Eleni's, my favorite film of all, the amazing guy. Right. Amazing. And Marielle Heller, whom I've known for a long time through yaama. Oh yeah. And I've known her for a long, long time.

[00:39:49]

What, what was that experience again. Because I know I already gushed, I love that movie, but it was such a quiet, great movie.

[00:39:55]

It was an impossible schedule. I mean we shot it and I think like 28 days or something all over New York. And there was something about I think when Richard and I first started doing press for it, people were like, oh, my God, you shot that in, like, such a short time. We were like they always did it feel rushed because the scenes were so in Richard. And I just kept saying, Murray is so amazing that somehow we felt like we had all the rehearsal time and all the takes we wanted.

[00:40:25]

But clearly that wasn't happening because we were moving as fast as we humanly could. But she's such an amazing way of being concise and there wasn't an extra word or extra motion and move in that film that didn't need to be there. So we weren't shooting any excess stuff. And the way her brain works and her taste level is like nothing I've seen. Like, I think she is just an incredible force that we know she's great. I think people I think she will be one of the best directors ever.

[00:40:57]

I agree. I think that she's an incredible director. And I think that you're right, that efficiency of words and emotion in those scenes really comes through. You get it. And there's not. It's the it's the hallmark of a great I always say that about Withnail and I. There's not a wasted moment in that film anyway. Wow. Missy, this has been such a treat having you work.

[00:41:23]

This was fun, you guys. Yeah. Very excited to see you.

[00:41:26]

We love you so much. We just think you're the greatest.

[00:41:29]

I'd love to get a curling iron at that here, though. Yeah. If we start putting up, I'm going to I'm going to give you a perm with my whole.

[00:41:37]

I'm going to give you a lilt of the product again over stick though isn't it.

[00:41:44]

Heavy is really it's. When wanted desperately permits, please, we love you, we love your family, please give them all a hug and a kiss from us. And thank you for saying yes to this the rest of your night.

[00:41:59]

Thanks for asking. Yeah. All right. Bye, guys. Bye bye. Bye bye.

[00:42:07]

Truly one of the great, great women, great humans, great moms, great actors, love, she's she just the greatest.

[00:42:15]

I knew, obviously, that you guys knew her and I just thought, you know, she'd be a real fun.

[00:42:19]

It's nice to have a friend, a friend of the period, a friend of the court on, you know, somebody not just a friend of the court, but who we all admire so much.

[00:42:28]

Yeah, I mean, she really is like when she came on. I know. Went on and on about it already. But when I saw bridesmaids by myself.

[00:42:35]

And what are you what's that where were you when you say in Atlanta and it's OK for you at a mall.

[00:42:42]

Yeah. Oh shut. And I know but you saw and you go well yeah.

[00:42:48]

Like Jason, like you said you're like who? I mean, I knew who she was.

[00:42:51]

I was like, who is this all over again? You just felt like this is incredible. And she and she just keeps getting better and better.

[00:42:59]

Yeah. Yeah.

[00:43:00]

She was doing I guess she was doing maybe making and money the first time I met her and then I was like, oh hey, she was super nice. Or maybe she was on Gilmore Girls. I can't remember. But I also remember that moment of senior in Bridesmaids and going Yeah.

[00:43:14]

Oh my God. Yeah. This is a this is just this is like a talent overload, you know, this is it. Right.

[00:43:23]

And the one line is what was it? I apologize.

[00:43:25]

I'm not quite sure which and that came out of that, but it was when she burped.

[00:43:30]

But then but then she goes on and then goes on to also also has this other gear and and I found her. So that performance of hers. And can you ever forgive me so quiet. Yeah.

[00:43:44]

Incredible. I mean, so surprising. And I think I'm really like she sat good. Good one. Well I love her a lot of fun, right.

[00:43:54]

Yeah. She's fast. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. What you guys got for the rest of the day. Just going to chill.

[00:44:01]

I'm busy. Yeah I'm. But in fact I think I'm losing you. Are you going over a canyon or is it me. I'm going over canyon. Hello Eyeblink.

[00:44:10]

I'll be idling in the driveway. OK, bye. I'm still here.

[00:44:13]

Bye baby.

[00:44:16]

Smart. Smart.