From ABC, this is the 10 percent happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hello, hello. Time for our Friday bonus, it's often been said that you cannot control other people, you can only control yourself, which happens to be true. Still, too often many of us feel ourselves let down by other people, whether it be a friend, family member, coworker, and then we end up spiraling. Today's meditation is from Diana Winston, and it's about how to handle those moments and stop the spiral.

Diana is a mindfulness teacher at UCLA.

She's also the author of a book called The Little Book of Being, and she contributes regularly to the 10 percent happier app. So here we go now with Diana. Hi, this is Diana, and this is a meditation to try when someone has let you down. To begin with, you're not the only one everyone is let down at one time or another by someone, often someone they love the most. Unfortunately, as much as we wish it were different, we can't control other people.

What we can control, however, is ourselves. We can work with our minds to come to a place of a little bit more ease and acceptance. Let's give it a try. We can get into a comfortable position. If your body is closing your eyes, close them or keep them open, but looking downwards, not all around the room. Let's begin by taking a few deep breaths. To help you settle your body and mind. You chose this meditation because someone has let you down, so let's bring that person to mind.

What happens when you see sense, imagine or feel that person's presence? Let whatever's here be here. Now, let's try a little equanimity practice. This is where we deliberately try to evoke feelings of balance and even mindedness, even in the face of challenging situations. You can say these words in your mind. And notice what happens. Things are as they are. May I be with things as they are? You are as you are. May I be with you as you are?

May I hold you in this situation with even mindedness and balance? You can keep repeating whatever phrases resonate with you or using my words and also stay connected to whatever feeling of equanimity comes. Of balance, of solidity, of even mindedness. Notice what you're feeling inside, if the equanimity is present, let it grow, let it really be there. If it's not, and that's OK. Can you be present with whatever is here and offer yourself a little kindness in the process?

As we come to the end of the meditation, remember that while we can't control other people, we can work with our own thoughts and feelings to find more balance and compassion for ourselves and others. You can remember phrases of equanimity any time someone lets you down, even trying them on the spot in the moment. Whenever you're ready, you can open your eyes if they've been closed and the meditation. See you next time. Thank you, Diana. Appreciate that.

Thanks, everybody, for listening and we'll see you right back here on Monday for a fresh episode. During the state, there was too much looking down and I think it was a little too fair. How do you feel about it? Much better than last week.

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