Transcribe your podcast
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It's comedy week on Stitcher. They are celebrating our show plus some other hilarious podcast for April Fool's no tricks just the treat of listening to The Bold and the Beautiful in many more all for free on Stitcher. Also check out their curated home page to find your next comedy pot Obsession. You can download the Stitcher app for free in the app store or at Stitcher app. Com comedy.

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Welcome to another riveting episode of The Bold and the Beautiful featuring Trixie Mattel in myself. That's right. Who are you unconscious? Go to said thank you. I think you we are an episode. I don't know 15 2015 2075 who knows who's counting? Cuz we ain't got time to count the bridges on the run the bird making money moves. Yeah, we have a guest that honestly with most qualified people to ever speak about beauty. That's true. We have listened that is among of a very dense roster of extremely qualified Beauty people.

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Yeah, and this one it's a deep field. It's a deep field somebody we had to hunt now I have you going to do it. You don't even know the paper trail of breadcrumbs the the the death of bread for the bread pit crumbs imaginations the schemes in the scams that I've enacted in order to Wrangle this guest for the good. I mean, I went to the better part of 16 17 months before we started.

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Was I taxed it wasn't. I had to go to the letter? I read the letter over the text. It was a whole it was it was a lot with 17 return phone calls. Finally. I got in contact with them her family and then they just they gave me her personal number and then he has its Pearl. Pearl. Thank you so much for being your pro. How are you? Thanks for having me and I feel like my very qualified to be here but the poem and your talent raii will not start because you are somebody whose work since we met you is truly been actually something I give a fuck to follow.

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What have you been up to?.

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I don't know. I've been like.

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I know doing like the house but also.

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I don't know. I feel like I'm in Steve Irwin do just like working on my art in this cabin in the woods, but I'm also make married. So no. Do you think I really do like which goddess of the woods as you have the nerve to propose to do my God?.

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At this new thing you're doing with your eye to like the two semi-circles and above and below you. Have you been doing this highlight that looks like the Morticia Addams light. You know, I'm talking about in The Addams Family British Islands bad like Cross Beam across her eyes of light its has that effect on you is really really cool.

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Lake who is very beautiful beast? And yes, of course, what are do you not realize that do you do like a soccer? No bottom liner sometimes right now, but water line underline know I will do a line like under the white the white. Okay under the blank as well or side of life. Are you are you 30 yet Thirty? Okay, but you just 30 I was going to say cuz for women of the simple but effective the to your latest photos right now. Yeah, so you have that that the waterline white and then you have a Graphic line with the the bottom lashes that individuals and then another sort of accent line underneath that is like she's young enough to be drawing lines around the eyes and get away with it.

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If I tried to draw a graphic line underneath my eyes.

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It would look like fucking palliative like palliative care. It's just so people take out, who is the artist of better makeup artist keeps fucking bitch. I'm coming up this weekend. So I think she can tackle this right? I want to be a lady of the woods Lady of the Lake but I wouldn't have it any other way. But yeah, we are like.

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Studying on this nomadic Journey now and it's also rebuilding so.

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Like where we want to see at least for a while for now. Are you near Deep Creek?.

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Is everywhere on your Instagram the other day we went down to enter Because coming back up Mary Mary. It's like for runyon's it when it was in yesterday's race. Did you go and go through like the North or the South was the most brutal hike I've ever been on in my life in Hot Springs AR anything myself on your career because I truly keep up with you. I watch every.

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Can you do and if you're comfortable, can you tell us a little bit about the bus? I just watched that today by the way, holy crap. So and you in your husband is very handsome in my God. Why do I have no idea why he's into me. It's like I'd like to suck in the rated azimut fucking butcher knife personality-wise compared to him and he's like super gentle. Like honestly don't know why he's so anyway, it's just like he makes me look at it pretty clever as.

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I don't know. I just always liked been interested in tiny houses, and I've always wanted to build like a ban or something.

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Dial everything we're up here. We live like 2 minutes for The LumberYard. So I'll see if I can start is living where you live in my car. They get all these. Yeah, like who was how you going to stand there? And I think are in the song everything. We just drive through like 5 minutes to this little forested area under the ground. It's like everything I hate to say it.

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It's been like a really beautiful you are, you know, just being able to take a brass not like it was said about traveling and social media and relationship, you know, it's not just the renovation of the bus. It's the fact that you're doing it by hand and the fact that you can tell us a viewer that you are winging it. Yeah, and you're not like Bob, but a great day great like it everything just designs itself after a while really because you just run into so many limitations.

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I got your building So eventually it's like okay we can see. It's amazing. The hand painted trees look like handgun wallpaper effect.

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I wouldn't have in the Box behind our storage door. What do you need to store wardrobe doors and have like a vintage Hawaiian?.

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It's crazy what you're doing. So when you're done with it, your hope and dream is to basically be like nomatic.

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Well for a while, but ultimately we want to buy some property and then just start building out with a little bit of your Jeremy has like this Reiki practice and he does like stealing stuff. So it's like a small but loyal clients house so they can come to the.

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Young cologne guiding when you downsize when you're going to be hitting the road. Are you going to bring dragon by the river and draw? It's a Rebrand. We're working at 3. Brad says because it's cool. I don't think other drag queens are striving to have things like limitations. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, well I need this girl likes. I've had a couple of sloppy year. So I need like what do you wish bring some beer good for you is a slumpy year. What do you what do you mean by that?

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Well, you know, just like I like I like definitely know what I do. I can't.

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You at all time. I do have the stamina or the financial resources know with what I'm willing to do like travel wise. I don't know. I just couldn't I couldn't get ready to cross the world. You guys know we know.

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And nothing that you can do or say things like, you know, like we're all Faking It book The Time consumes your content though. That's part of the appeal to me is that it's refreshing to see somebody who is getting a drag only when they want. Yes. Oh, yeah very very bad. Cuz I really really am not. I'm I'm an inspired but I must have reassured by your presence in drag because I know that you're only doing it if you want to.

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There's like this part of me that really really loves fucking drop you like I'll always loved it and I'll always love your transformation and when I don't do it for a while, I do start sametha. But yeah, there's also a tiara is a losing battle. Okay. It's like Kim Trail Buddy meter want to quit.

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Yeah have to go by one even take a picture with her because I don't like them but because I don't want to look like licking a toad.

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Are you on Tik Tok Pearl? Like I said, I can barely login to my email so I can like I'm just figuring out Instagram story if anybody hasn't talked a little bit though, like with all of the bike protest everything over happening last year. There was like a scandal with Tik Tok and I honestly can't even think of what it is right now, but I would like to stay away. My advice. I feel like I was doing before Tick Tock around, you know is doing nothing but making these videos on Instagram and they were you know, and then.

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Should be featuring is content myself to like the video of you building that waterfall in your house.

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Oh, yeah, it's like very random is that we just like like to do fun projects together. We wanted to hear some running water or so. Will you be built it for like styrofoam styrofoam in Hawaii? It's really cool. We met in Hawaii and we go to Hawaii Lomi did go to Yo a lot before you know, and that I and waterfalls everything we hike waterfalls by Estelle and he just wanted to lie against my fantasy obviously not cuz you until now no.

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Melina Amy still finds her about every 3 weeks up in the mountains Hunter down my God. Can you play regularly Megan Habibi? Do you I'm so you moved out your New York move to LA your first time then you moved up in the mountains. How long were you in La for?.

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About a year and then you realize that I need to go to the mountains so high and my rent in New York was just as high and I thought I would move here be saving money and I thought it would be but I sounds like a really great apartment in Los Feliz when she knows obviously very expensive part of town and I didn't want to afford it. You know, I mean, so you're on one of our first dates like.

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Yeah, just popped in my head. Like why don't we just move there? It's only an hour and a half away from the city. You know, what a bad day in traffic and my rent is like the cheapest one I've ever paid my entire adult life and it's just like everything.

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Girl, you like really fancy like sheep little markets. It's all like thrift stores antique stores and dislikes.

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Yeah, but there is also there's also liberals and there's honestly like we are people I was shocked at the number of like looks like a hippie colony and then Trump sign and then like a hundred Hi-Lo. It was what ya items that you are at a certain point that tune back from the Dipper goes like where the fuck are we. We call ERI and Ali because there's like five Trump flags that you process your driving down. Yeah, but it's like really quiet and I don't know like it doesn't bother me.

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It's like whatever because one of those Republicans and they're going to spot a beautiful white witch crawling through the snow.

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I don't know about the part. But oh my God, we have to Pivot Roxanne. Can I ask about some of your celebrity Transformations you done an incredible? Incredible Sarah Jessica Parker. We had an amazing time or have either like noticed.

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Yeah, Drew Barrymore Sheridan and this is crazy. She actually reached out and asked me to come to her about our house.

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Stop it was crazy because I just landed and I'm like, so I change my whole schedule and like the next morning and it's ironic because you know who was going to do the time. You called me and he's like, I'm so sorry, but I have to cancel. She's not feeling well today and I'm like and then unlike for 5 hours later. She post a picture on her Instagram running around a car with Cameron Diaz no makeup that hashtag do makeup day and I was just like she was running around with James Charles Albright.

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We talked about rocks and we have to take a break.

[00:19:13]

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[00:23:22]

And we're back. We're back with that. We talked about probably one of most exciting things I've ever seen. Somebody do it there drag Roxanne Roxanne. I seen every video multiple time. Yeah. I've I've watched something new every time a new joke every time so you do that everything you obviously do all the makeup you put a full face on top of another face and then static and you just edit you do all the other than yourself and uploaded yourself Square.

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It's treacherous where somebody has to do it. I was just coming into my YouTube career and I just knew that I couldn't be traveling anymore. So I was like, maybe I can get into YouTube like James Charles is obviously super rich and famous. Like if I could have 1% of that.

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And I was in Sedona videos and I'd have like an out-of-body experience Igloo. So fucking gay. You don't even like I just cannot do this.

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So she just I felt like rocks and I am way too been broken to be like.

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Play Polly put on blush and lipstick like he's not going so like I just took the storyline and like turned it into the character who has like three. What all do you like drags her body through broken glass to get those laptops to edit this YouTube video and just like be like, you know, what is on YouTube? That's what I like about it. It's this very like studied and astute critique on influenster beauty people not like the song fired like no makeup look and I mean is it to a grotesque extreme and you take your makeup artistry?.

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Yeah, can we include a clip of an audio clip of I love about the time she talked about falling off the boat in at the Guns N Roses exercise. Can you do that's why I thought I know it's pretty bad. I know it's you guys. It's like what's sad is it's gotten a lot but she's like it's gotten a lot better her no makeup makeup. Look, how long does it take an hour and a half after I get to lausanne still got another hour and a half to get to the me.

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I'm curious about that ended in do they stay on? I mean, what do you use to put those on?.

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Every single time like it'll be great one time and then the next time it's like I've never given you a mean but I got it down to like a little bit of Science and eventually started making my own left. So I had my own but I don't know I would do shows with her and they would stay on that was fine. But I just like that. I can't just like I would love to see kids like my I mean I have to be honest like in terms of American drag race.

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My my attention spans kind of Dipping a little bit here and there but I would love to see Queens go on the show as characters. Yeah and just like Roxanne wifey liquid the competition when returning a used part of doing drag is like, you know, obviously having to do with being off work.

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I think it's also cool to be like this SNL skit of Drag Me to Hell where you can just totally change. How do you say all stars is never going to happen for me, but she would be like tearing it up to the children chase you to the children comment you have to do all stars to the children dmu. I don't think they realize like you don't real just Envy like I'm also in and out of dragon is too and then and drag you have like a very kind of transcendent Beauty.

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Do you love looking ugly? I can't even look like I do not, you are so wonderful, It's just the truth, whatever so but you love cuz I love looking ugly on purpose.

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Beautiful Nia lovelis believe in more like he's really twisted 10 laps like nasty housewife characters as well. And I quit early just want to go grocery shopping like. You know what? I mean? Like I want to just like I feel more like I was like the first Super Nanny job. I just love looking like a rotted middle-aged women of how beautiful you are dressing up ugly. If you want to feel great, like remember when Tyra Tyra and television. Oh, yeah did certain things that you probably wouldn't do now.

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And then she was like I was in a fat suit for days and now I understand so now I get it I get it and I see you got caught that swimsuit and she looks fat in it and that if you like more this one stood on her show to prove that she wasn't that bad.

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God so, I mean she's probably one of the worst talk show host in Turbo models it but who is whatever I who is your eyes Housewives full volume bickering and then me sleeping to it was like somebody calmly sleeping next to it and screaming hysterically.

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What is your favorite Housewives franchise?.

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Potomac Potomac starring Oprah.

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How much for the fight was crazy and it was so violent and so evil what happened? Yeah. Yeah, but you would think people are getting completely involved in a lawsuit. I love that bird to tell her I was like ready to take a bullet for Monique's like everything she did she could do no wrong until like the way she handles everything about her is just like in my eyes. Yeah. Yeah. I do love to tell Mac and I love New York.

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New York, it's it's crazy on my God. What about so out of the out of there in the realm of like, you know models actually spot of luck. Who who would you say or like your top three Beauty icons?.

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We are given your rails into your head over and over again. I guess I'll see if people actually want to know what is like a dry cleaner Beauty Creator. Who's somebody who just like makes you like oh shit. I want to get in the wig now like anybody.

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No, not really.

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I don't like.

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I don't know. I don't do drag because like.

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I don't know anything.

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Play I don't know like it really just comes like what I want to wear is what makes me get its Dragon like this.

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I like my legs. I've been making who I really want to start making my own would be like so how to drag items I get into drug designed Around The Whitcomb. Not really like I'm not really like I never loved like old Hollywood blonde bombshell. Do you have that like making me get into dry inspired by acorns a car in the trees from the smart enough to do a new movie?.

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Broadcast once and I asked him what do you think an old horror movie is and he said scream 2010 in it.

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No, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's like 98 to I never seen Sleepaway Camp. Is that the one with the crazy?.

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Wednesday is most sensitive depiction. Movies movies. Like Cabin in the Woods. Is it the way I just I don't know I watch Forensic Files all night. I don't care. I just like love it. Movie I've ever seen scary scary to the bone-chilling. Have you seen as a friend still have no no no. No.

[00:35:30]

What's the killer the killer terrible as well? It's just like another crazy or installments psychotic. But the movies fucking grit is it starts out with a guy this guy this monster guy getting a blowjob from a decapitated head o work going to be in quarantine and we're back on our Prime series. Your YouTube content is so varied and liquor control, so don't post every other day. So when you do Post it's like, okay does a pro video? I'm sitting down and watching it.

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Videos about yes, and also some of the makeup techniques you have the generousness of sharing you did this thing where you said instead of being glitter on your inner eye you do white dots now.

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Kaiser women's Coach on my TV going okay, and then halfway through the Dark Souls like holyshit. It does look like glitter. Why does it mean?.

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Give me time. It's on Match it Realty your makeup artist. She has always been ridiculous. But like now more than ever. You look like a fucking I don't even know what I really want to come. Can I come up and get my makeup done? Come over we have the weed is more than my right leg has a private grower. Send email me you get in touch every service to get home to buy. Can we have this guy?.

[00:37:50]

And I passed on and then he died. So now we're raising taxes and very average, How much is weed? It's like $200 an hour. So like and how much is an ounce get you through if you're like a casual smoker. Well, I live with my boyfriend so it's kind of hard to gauge but I'm not a casual smoker smoking again. You know water is Wet Willies expensive. What you going to do in do you ever do like to smoke like your role of a fat blunt and smoke it like that?.

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Alexis Ren flower in like a big fight with my week is upset. I guess this is what I do. I don't do drugs anymore. I barely drink but I do in the lady of the woods would like us flaxen hair all like no 36-inch Bender pick up big bong rips through the snow with a bong smoking.

[00:39:27]

Play God.

[00:39:35]

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[00:40:29]

My light is unreliable and vehicles are dangerous. I prefer to stay at home. That's out. Have you.

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[00:40:54]

Are you still planning time to do sculptures mix media? I just did my first Commission in like a year. Yeah, we up Darcel. Oh, yeah. I came and took a little now and so she doesn't know how to sculpt it's a lot of condom.

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Well, I mean ideally I would just love to have like a room setup where you can just walk into it when you're pulling it all out doing anything anyway, and I just had my hands are so I guess I have an extra legroom time now because I used to take for the tell her I like break it down. Whatever that's a whole nother thing called creative when there's a whole hour of set up a like before it. You're like, it's like a very legitimate a second career for you.

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Oh, so I wouldn't have to do in the next Round Lake says it's a small room and the other wall and like.

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But that's litter. That's the thing about YouTube like you can be in a closet and no one would know like you can put it and nobody would know it's crazy. Like what you can build a big fancy Revlon company like half the time like, who do you think took that product picture me and my underwear in that room? Yeah, you fucking bitch you have any aspirations Deputy television again?.

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I guess it will just depend on the project. I mean I like the idea of being like super private. I also like the idea of.

[00:43:06]

Broadcasting my creative Styles like in any way that's good and positive that's harder than anything. I don't think people realize that that's the hardest type of TV. There is it's a scarf and you're only making like not works Richmond. You're not really getting anything out of him. If you're under a great job to entertain their masses and they get paid and you get like your little $250 defender soccer fruit snacks thrown at you buy a PA, if you're lucky your property and you want to like renovate or build I would I hope you put on your YouTube.

[00:43:54]

I loved the whole thing would love to like build a garage and just fill tiny houses in Lake put on trailers in.

[00:44:06]

Document at the shopping phase where I was thinking of buying a tiny house and putting it on a plot in Wisconsin of my hometown and ultimately past but it must be very lucrative because even a cheap tiny home is tens of thousands of dollars. If you're buying it now. Building it. I mean we bought our bus for $5,000 and we're putting like, you know, obviously the bare minimum into it, but we could probably sell it at the end of the day for like $78,000 like buses, you know, like right right.

[00:44:44]

So it's like people want to work with us and customize something like that. That's cool. But I kind of would like to just do something totally like crazy Glam. Yeah. It's like yourself again.

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Would you ever tour clubs again?.

[00:45:04]

I'm sorry, whichever tour night clubs again.

[00:45:07]

Oh, yeah, definitely. I just don't want to do it multiple times a week. Yeah, you know, but I actually loved you and I love extreme today, but it just like ruins you're doing it like all the time.

[00:45:22]

Yeah, if I'm in finding the ballot, but you guys are so late. But I've been finding the balance between like what you're like what you want to do and what you need to do or what you think you need to do and like, you know, all that stuff is tricky to turns on and it's a lot of stuff to changes by like it should be like what your needs to be that like if you have that privilege which we all did which we all do / did we got up and record shows won't be miserable most of the time in like get into strip.

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We shouldn't have got get into it like it sucks. So I just kind of.

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Refuse I don't think anybody who follows who feels neglected. We still get a lot and it's on your own terms that anybody who really likes you respect that you don't want to be in dragon breed a you're the mean people are going to see me to see me getting into Dragonite house make a picture for Instagram. Then they're going to see me in the club as well in their panties, perhaps. Yeah. I just refuse to be uncomfortable with what you drinking there.

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Urine, who's sorry? I just got really stoned and took three of milligrams.

[00:47:14]

Ever feel like my boyfriend just like let me type by Shirley Temple right here and should be butt naked in Downtown LA. Is there anything this year you want to tackle? What can we as people who follow you expect?.

[00:47:48]

You think you're going to get the bus on this year? We should be done within the next month or so so cool. So, yeah, so basically we don't want to get rid of this house. So if you guys want it, like little month-long rental moments up in the mountains, let me know but besides that yeah, we're just going to be like documenting are like travel experience. Nomadix cute gay couple on YouTube and Reserve.

[00:48:25]

Collection coming out so I'm going to be like tomorrow.

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Basaglar kwikpen steam set my aspiration and.

[00:48:40]

Turn on the Loft anymore. Hey, hello. Congratulations for all you've done.

[00:49:01]

Call Instagram on YouTube from the Star and talk would use which you spread that hole on video for onlyfans. My boyfriend is basically like shutting the camera and I face to get a job with I told him how much money yeah, he's like trying to take me out now. But you know, how much is the average onlyfans Crater Lake is the average by Legacy five?.

[00:49:43]

Well when my nudes leaves like that was fucking like a hellacious Wildfire so I can only imagine like actually going to pay for it. Might as well lose my mind. I know it's early but I don't have anything like that. So I don't have any money right now Roxanne fucking right now boxing. I would pay 2999 like I wish I thought about that just like like figure out your marketing scheme. How are you going to Market your private photos how much you going to charge for those?

[00:50:34]

You know what I mean, but there's all these different things inside the only things like sharing extra photos for everyone.

[00:50:43]

Was like don't ever show anything only put it in like the supposed to be exactly as if I just got a rolly dance. It was just don't like giving it all that yummy. There's like a yeah, and also you're having to I know there's a there's a guy when I have on the Pod and it did the amount of pressure there is because now you're you're not only up against like you establish a precedent in your own content creation and roll out that you have to compete with the I mean every single one of your colleagues every one of them you're competing for money into Jesus Christ.

[00:51:32]

Anyway, anyways anyways, but when you go down that road Pearl We Will We Will Retreat and share. Yes, and I will subscribe and I will rub my pussy raw to your house.

[00:51:43]

Hot sexy pics to see our I'm coming up the mountain and I'm going to get my paint done by you do I know where I have a time here, but I have to say one more thing. We talked about it recently and you just brought it up Chrome don't share it is not ethical to share people's nudes just because they were on television. It doesn't feel like a real person to you 2004 enough to call and no one talks about it. And what's his name from Mean Girls.

[00:52:17]

His nude actually look like yesterday everyone sharing and I'm like, this is horrible.

[00:52:24]

Yeah, but but I wouldn't she would just like I said so gross I agree. Same time, but at the same time I didn't expect any more from like the community that I was in cuz I think I think it was the real like a private album on like Grindr proper something and then like I share that and then they so I was pissed I also like I mean, I don't personally I don't worry about that because the pictures of my gas you're so tight and Tiny. Okay people think of the belly button is how good is how could they be so small so small?.

[00:53:24]

Onion blooming onion. Okay French onion soup.

[00:53:58]

Hey, it's Bob Saget here. And guess what? The name of my podcast is Bob Saget's here for you. Everybody's got a podcast. We know that I've been doing mine for a while even before all this craziness of 2027 and thank goodness were coming out of it and I'm continuing to do it forever because I love it and it's something I love cuz I get to talk to comedians that I love and actors and and writers and sports people in news people and call you guys sometime and see how you guys are doing.

[00:54:26]

It's available, of course at Apple and it's also available Spotify. And so you want to subscribe and listen to it. In fact, pause the podcast you listening to right now and listen to my podcast Bob Saget's here for you and then go back to your podcast. So it was an extra hour or 90 minutes or whatever so you could get a little extra entertainment out of your day. That's what I'm hoping for all the best.