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[00:00:05]

I know that's pretty wild, huh? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of. I'm not envious of that joke, that aspect of you being out there, being single, trying to do the math, especially, you know, when there was the old math.

[00:00:19]

And then they came in like, I remember all those numbers, yeah, they don't add up to what you thought. Now, here's the new math and the test starts right now. And if you fail it, your dreams are over.

[00:00:28]

My favorite one of my favorite ever, Dennis Miller jokes.

[00:00:32]

He goes, he goes, I'm happy for Caitlyn Jenner. I am. She's a woman. But can I take the fuckin weekend? You just told me blackjack is 20 to 30.

[00:00:53]

Oh, yeah, so funny. Yeah, I don't know, man, I'm I've slowed down in my old age and I'm I'm ready to.

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I would love to I would love to settle down, but it's just unfortunate. I don't know.

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Joe, you're squirming. I think he got a little fight left in you. I know. I don't see you going in the boat. You still flipping around.

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You know, I'd really like to meet somebody.

[00:01:17]

I got to get out. I got to get out there, put me in the program. I just don't want to get anywhere cold.

[00:01:21]

Nice. Joe, when you settle down, is I finally I finally got it figured out OK. Yeah. Are you going to do once a week to just once a week. You go out, just do some do something with them. All right, and it's going to be their idea and just go do it, and I'm telling you, they have the best time and they're just in the best mood and they start getting sick again. You know, you just take them out again.

[00:01:44]

So what? Go look at a house you can't afford. OK, they can just go around looking at that shit. Go fucking take take them out to lunch. All that dumb shit.

[00:01:57]

Anyway, does it count if your house is getting your new house is getting broken into and you drive over there at 2:00 in the morning? Is that one of the things we've been doing that a lot lately? That's fine.

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Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, somebody broke into your house.

[00:02:11]

Oh yeah. They try and then the alarm goes off, they run away and there's nothing to steal. But we have to drive over there to turn the alarm off, meet the cops and it's happening like it's crazy. You sound like when the alarm goes off, they should just be something there's nothing to steal, there's nothing to steal, there's nothing to steal.

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There's one hundred dollars in an envelope under the bridge. Just leave. Do not set off the alarm. I do not wake up. When do you move?

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But I heard you already moved. But I guess I guess you haven't moved because that's that you're in the room.

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I was in. I think when I visited you it was my man cave.

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I'm still in my I'm so I'm never going to actually live in this house.

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It looks like I feel like I leave in April to do something and they're supposed to move in in April. So nice. What part can you say what part of town it's in.

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Don't say that. Don't say that. OK, ok. Don't say that. It's not far. It's ok.

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OK, I'll ask you to just leave little fucking Eminem's right up to your front steps. I said I said to my daughter's not the ninety nine percent Joe.

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It's that one percent. They're the ones that show. It is true.

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It is true. Did you see Susan that guy break in Susan Summer's house. Suzanne, in some ways, that's it. No, no, whatever she's doing, a live stream, like a make up tutorial and a fucking home intruder comes in and he's a crazy person. He's like, hey, she's like, hi, who are you? And he's like, I was just your own thing. And all of a sudden you're watching her do the math.

[00:03:42]

She's like, hang on, how did you get in here? Was like, oh, I just walked up the thing she because but you have to jump over a fence. He was like, Anyway, I'm just a real big fan. And he starts talking to her and they realize he's a fucking psychopath, has broken into their house and it's like, oh fuck. And they're like, you need to you need to leave. And he's like, no, I'm going to leave.

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And she said, can someone please? It's all on camera. It was fucking holy shit. Well, I got to Google that what you can read the comments of everybody going fake me, dude, you know what I wanted done? Yeah, yeah.

[00:04:19]

That's wild, though. Jesus, that's crazy. Is he a young guy, Joe?

[00:04:24]

He sounded he sounded young. He sounded young. I'm trying to pull back on my social media. So I feel like I've shared too much and I feel like I'm too out there. And so I'm just trying to, like, pump the brakes, you know?

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But I think you should I think you should reboot the ThighMaster.

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I think I think you are the next you are the next phase. I do it in a heartbeat.

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I know you would do. They said if you send me product, I can't help but pay it forward and go, you got a good product. I'm putting it online. I'm putting it on Instagram.

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Dude, I've been watching Three's Company reruns and Jesus Christ, it is like that.

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If you were like, dude, you can you can you can have sex with any pool of women in history ever.

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Who would they be? I'd be like the Three's Company cast every year.

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It's the hottest women I've ever seen ever. All in one place on one show. It's insane. Yeah. I love Janet.

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Oh, everybody was in the Suzanne Sommer. Janet was smoking. Oh, my God. Janet, I hear you.

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I'm a Janet man. My. Oh, no, no, Terry. I like Janet. I now go on. Mary Tyler Moore. I liked I liked Rhoda. Yo, you wrote on that one who just died. Phyllis, I love you. Yes.

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They were smokin hot.

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Yeah, they were at their own apartments and shit. You know, floral patterns like your pillows. Joe, they they were ladies of the world. Yeah. Betty White was on there. They were all banging. That was that was like they were all like, you know, there were like boozy broads. That was they were fun bunch. It's a good time.

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Was a good time back there. Now I think.

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What TV show do you think to find the women you looked for growing up like going like oh because when you say that I go, oh, Suzanne Somers, I looked for blonde, kind of goofy big tits like that was that was my that was my my swing zone.

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Dumb as a brick no more. It doesn't challenge me on any level. Just walking to and from the fridge, get me a beer falling face first into my lap, you know, that's what I got out of Three's Company up Krischer, albeit at private theater near you.

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Got a hammer.

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Oh, you know what?

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You really are a trucker that just decided to do stand up. That's what the fuck you are.

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You know, I'll tell you what the best Hooters is out there, out there north.

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Oh, dude, I've I've been asked that question before, but I haven't answer the two girls from weird science. That they not the model, not yeah, not Kelly Brock, not Kelly Lubbock. He was gorgeous, obviously, but no, the two girls that they actually fall in love with, the brunette and the blonde, that to me was a dream girl when I was a kid. I remember that was the first time I saw a girl in a movie.

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And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I want to.

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I vaguely remember that. Yes, she was hot, you know, I was hot. Was the Peewee Herman's girlfriend, Ozzy Isadora. Oh, my God. Now it's not Izidor. It looks like Pee Isadora, though. But that's not pee is. I know that's not who it is, though, but.

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Yeah, you know, I got to look up the weird science and then I want to show you guys something just for perspective. This is what a seven looks like. According to the Internet, that is a seven and say seven, that's way out of my league.

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The brunette from Weird Science is still I think she does pillories in yoga now. She's still like.

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Smokin. She's like 54 or something. Oh, you know, I like a smokin hot 50 something, you know who you Madonna was smokin until.

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Well, that's the girl from Weird Science. Yeah, dude, she still just I've talked about her on the war on fire. I keep praying to God.

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She hears me talking about her and is like, I think you're cute. It's never going to happen, but. Do you know who I looked up the girl from, from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. She still looks great, you still looks great. Yeah, looks great.

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Yeah, yeah, that that that that like scrunchie to the side haircut with the leg warmers on the outside of the pants. Oh, Jesus, God.

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I'm showing my age here because that was like even though I was like a high school age in the 80s. So I was more into the 70s. Chicks.

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Let's talk about him. Whoo! All right.

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Farrah Fawcett on the Six Million Dollar Man. Obviously, Charlie's Angels. Janet from Three's Company already mentioned her.

[00:09:12]

You know what Angel I liked Bill was Scarecrow and Mrs. King. Which one was that? Which Angel became Scarecrow, Mrs. King, I never watched that show. Which of the angels she was the short brunette hair, short haired brunette angel to Kate Jackson, Kate Jackson on the rookies when she was Mike Danco wife. She was a nurse. He was a cop. I mean, she just was fuckin gorgeous. I always thought she was the best looking one, to be honest with you.

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Yeah, she's hot, dude. She's hot.

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I was never into the Jacksons or Janet's. I was always blonde. And then America, we got it. Yeah, you kind of described it to a T. that bird about five minutes ago. Now, I went through the blonde phase, but now I think I always like brunettes better. I like brunettes better. Were you attracted to any black chicks growing up to. Like on television, well, there weren't any, but I like Janet Jackson when she was on go on Diff'rent Strokes.

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What's she doing? Gorgeous. Janet Jackson was always on good time and she had good time. She was just a little kid. But when she was on played Willis's girlfriend, I think she's a couple of years older than me.

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So don't fucking make me out to be a creepier you know who the one was?

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The older sister on good times. But do you think I liked everybody from Marcia Brady to Janet Jackson, I was all over the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it all, you know.

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Did you know that during that Super Bowl fiasco, I just read this, the Janet Jackson lost everything, but it was Justin Timberlake that did. He didn't get in any trouble. You mean by she lost everything like she couldn't sell at the Staples Center anymore? They would. No one would put her on tour. No one trusted her. And she lost her record deal. She got pulled off of all radio stations, you know, a record deal.

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All right. If I'm not mistaken, I just read this thing and Janet Jackson was they were saying, you know, Janet Jackson. Has forgiven Justin, but that she was the one that lost everything, they pulled her off all terrestrial radio.

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Maybe, maybe I'm not saying let me ask you this, because that was clearly planned. Andrew, Andrew, find something about that that was clearly planned. It came off like perfectly. So here's my question. Let's say this stunt went the other way, right?

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And she grabbed a part of Justin's wardrobe and one of his balls came dangling out during the Super Bowl, so much more to us, Justin, as a privileged white male. Does he loses when he loses to. Well, that's the thing there's this all this press right now about Timberlake lost nothing but Britney Spears lost there. And it's like Britney Spears didn't lose anything. They're talking about like when they broke up and they're sitting like Britney Spears lost everything.

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Britney Spears is had a hard time because her dad put her into terrible legal situations. It's got nothing to do with Justin Timberlake.

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Know what they're what they're criticizing Justin Timberlake on. And I know and here's the thing is I figure that as a comic, I'm sure I made jokes about Britney, but so I'm just as bad as everyone. But what they're criticizing him is that he'd go in and do radio shows and they'd be like, did you hit that shit? Did you hit it? And he was like, yeah, you know, I hit it. She's not a virgin.

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And so, OK, didn't think in that in that. And they break up and I'm sure it wasn't. I thought that happened after. Because he made a video like she cheated on him and then I think he was like a jilted lover and probably said some shit, I think, and I'm not sure I don't know who broke up with who or any of that shit, but he did when the breakup happened, I think his marketing team was like, let's spin this this way, because remember, Justin Timberlake was not famous.

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I mean, he was famous, but he was not who he is today. They needed to make him into a into a star. And so cry me a river. Was he.

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I'll fucking buy that, too. I got to tell you what's weird. Somebody you don't make somebody be as talented as that guy. Maybe he got with, like, the right state.

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But there were 12 other boyband guys, just like just like, you know, it's weird, Bert. It's weird. It's almost like all the women that wildly supported Justin Timberlake and made him famous are to blame for not supporting Britney. But it's his fault.

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You know, you buy into that shit always like it's the fans that make the I don't feel like I made AC DC famous. I feel like AC DC made music. I couldn't ignore me and all of my friends. It's like I'm not going to take what they did. No, I agree with you on that when I'm when I'm just making a joke about, like the way this is being portrayed right now, and I do think there's some validity to him doing some fucked up shit.

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But my point is just there talking as if toxic white males are the fan base of Justin Timberlake.

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And it's like no women are the fan of Justin. That's his fan base. Women were packing the arenas to see Justin Timberlake, not dudes.

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So curiosity, why are they talking about this now? I have no idea. It was a documentary about Britney Spears. It just came out about her conservatorship and about just how bad she had it and what her what how bad she had it and the marketing of her. What did you say? She had a conservative ship, conservatory, conservatorship, some legal. What is that? What is that what you do you it's what the court does to a crazy person is they say you have a lot of money, but we can't trust you to spend it.

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You're going to you're going to buy fucking rabbits and gazelles and giraffes and you're not going to do it wisely. So we're going to give someone we're going to put two people in charge, like a group, people in charge of your money, and they will tell you what you can spend, what you can also do because you don't have access to your funds. So, like, you can't just go to Hawaii and get a private jet. You've got to run it by her dad and a banker.

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I think it really is kind of fucked up.

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That's why you don't get shitfaced and shave your head in front of the paparazzi. Let's not act like this just fell out of the sky here, people.

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Well, it's even that even that is up for debate when they talk about that, because they're like, who? Who made her crazy?

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When I'm out, I'm just like, I swear to God they're going to go back into history. And anything that a woman did, they're going to make a guy's fault. Every fucking thing. It's like there's just no is it's like, is it ever. Hey, I got a little caught up in my own fame. Hey, maybe I was drinking too much. Hey, maybe I surrounded myself with the wrong people. It's just like, come on, man, what's wrong with Janet Jackson?

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Lost. Yeah.

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So didn't she also agree to have her Teddy come out on the fucking Super Bowl? I mean, you got to that's that's the part I don't understand. It's network television. It's like it's like they're both guilty. But now it's becoming like also to nobody's cursing Janet. Nobody's going. Well, Janet, I guess your career just kept cruising as your brother Michael's crumbled.

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And it's like I don't understand what the connection between your comparison, Joe, because this is like an incident that happened. And one person, there was nothing that happened to them. And the other like I mean, what did you lose? I don't know, I'm just I'm just I just don't get why I just can't take Teddy out on NBC. OK, people know this, but I knew that before then. I think it was one of those things.

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Let's do something shocking, it'll help both that ticket sales and a blow up in their face. And it was almost like he was the getaway driver and she went in to rob the bank. He fuckin took off in the car.

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What did she do as far as rehearsals go? That was never done, him ripping that off. So that story sticks that she didn't know that it was going to happen unless they talked about it. But it says that the Grammys were the following week, which both Timberlake and Jackson were scheduled to present and perform at. But Jackson was outright banned from the event despite previous assurances from the academy that both would attend, saying there's such a big difference to putting a stage on Astroturf than an appearance of the Grammy.

[00:17:36]

Timberlake, on the other hand, attended and was allowed to perform Clear Channel Communications, which owned Infinity Broadcasting and Viacom. MTV and CBS blacklisted all of Jackson's singles music videos, banning her from all of the TV channels, radio stations the company owned that the company owns stifling airplay and making her new album, Damita Jo, her lowest selling album since nineteen eighty four. The disgraced singer was forced to resign from the movie deal she had just signed, and even a statue of Mickey Mouse wearing Jackson's Rhythm Nation costume was dismantled following the continued backlash, an attempt to break the heat of the constant bashing Jackson won on SNL, mocking the entire situation.

[00:18:25]

That sounds like the classic overreaction.

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Yeah, yeah, and it's I mean, like I agree with the take of, like, maybe Timberlake should have took up for her or whatever or whatever he absolutely should have.

[00:18:39]

Yeah, I agree. You absolutely should have. But I agree that it was an accident. It came on a perfect circle.

[00:18:45]

And she does the. No, I don't I don't buy that. I think he should have he would have been like that.

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I would think he should stick up for television. I don't know. What annoys me is, yeah, I agree that he should have gotten her back. But what annoys me with the Britney thing is like the same press that was following her literally from location to location as she was collapsing in public. I remember that being there were Blow-by-blow where Britney is right now every 15 minutes on L.A. radio. I remember that like hearing that when I was in L.A. and then she eventually shaves her head and she has a nervous breakdown.

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And it's like the fucking press that caused all that are now going to sit there and try to kick the dirt over their own shit sins and go, well, poor Britney, you know this. And it's like, you guys did it. Yeah, they did.

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That was Monica Lewinsky. Yeah. It's like they can't be they go like, well, Bill Clinton kept allowed, you know, kept being president and she was blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, no, no, no. She hosted SNL, a gig that took me twenty eight years of slinging jokes to get just one fucking dick. It gets on the goddamn show, man. I'm supposed to sit there and look at you like you're a victim.

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He sucked the deck when I first moved to L.A., I was doing a TV show called The Show and I was living in a house up in the hills, and I come home from work. One day in my room, I had a fridge in my room that had beer in there. And because I didn't want to go out, I didn't know anyone. So I didn't want to go out to and walk back and forth to get beers all night and then be like, look at this guy, go, yeah, yeah, hide it in the drawer.

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You know, sitting in my room.

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I maybe even been in L.A. like three weeks, two weeks. Fucking Monica Lewinsky walks in my room. I go like the I mean, really see a fucking great white sharks swim past you. I'm like, oh, she was like, hey, I'm Monica. And I was like, Do I know who you are? Is like, I'm here with Matt. I was wondering we were wondering if you had any beer in here. And I was like, all right.

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I was like, what the fuck? And he's just walked out. I was like, Wait, where are you going? I want to talk.

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Holy shit. Crazy, wild. Yeah, that's fucking wild.

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I would act like I didn't know. I feel bad for I still feel bad for it but like just sitting there acting like, you know, she just got flushed. It's like no man like you hosted SNL.

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I mean the dream gig. It's a dream gig for every comedian out there. It's a good gig. You know how you feel about your book by saying, I wonder if you think do you think in like ten, fifteen years they can look back at a couple of these me two cases. You know, the bad day comes, I can't like the week, should we have treated that person like Harvey Weinstein or whatever? Absolutely I do.

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I keep saying I was saying it the other day about Gina, Koraro, whatever her name is, it's like, look, you can say that her tweet was stupid or clumsy or whatever, but the reaction to it to me was so crazy that I was like, guys, this is going to be a thing that you look back.

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And the example for that is everybody said George W. Bush was the devil. If you in any way supported him or liked him or whatever, you were the devil. There was something wrong with you. You were racist. You were this you were that. That fucking guy has done the talk show circuit. Now he goes on Kimmel and he kicks back and he gets applause breaks. Everybody goes, oh, he's kind of cute. Remember how dumb he was, whatever.

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And they're going to be doing that with half of these canceled people and go on shit, man. Sorry about that. But the last day, it's like a guy in jail for marijuana sales right now in L.A., you know, I saw Pee wee Herman on the Wheel of Fortune.

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Yeah. So instead they ruined Pee wee dude and he was jerking off. What you supposed to jerk off? What was he offending? Those other fucking people jerking off? I remember that those local cops shot those local cops are big score, that's what they said. No, no, it was one corseted police chief.

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He's like, these guys are getting away watching gay porn and jerking off. We're not allowed to do this. We're bussing in every Friday night. I thought he was going to get out of it because he went on the MTV Music Awards right after it and had a great opening line. He came out. He's like and everybody was going nuts applauding him. Yeah. He was like, heard any good jokes lately?

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And everybody died laughing. And I was and I was psyched. I'm like, he's back. He's back.

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And then now was it remember, Deiss, I didn't even like Pee Wee till I knew he jerked off.

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Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, shit. I don't know. I kind of I have, you know, unless you did some truly horrible shit.

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I mean, you know, if you hurt someone, if you hurt someone, I don't have time for you. But if we're talking about words like evil, even bad words, I mean, come on, man. I mean, no, no, no, I wouldn't say that.

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No, if you like, if you're just saying overtly racist shit, you know, I mean, you make like a bad comparison.

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You know, if you come off like Joe trying to find where Atlanta is compared to New York, yeah, that's not like, you know, homophobic, that's just ignorant.

[00:23:59]

Well, what did Carano say?

[00:24:02]

She said she said that she goes in in 1940s Germany, I'm paraphrasing, but she said in 1947 is a good thing to do on something like this.

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By all means, let's hear your take on the tweet. I don't have the I don't have the quote in front of me.

[00:24:19]

But but she said she basically compared political beliefs, now being persecuted to the fact that in 1940s Germany, the way the Nazis were so able to take power and do whatever they want, it was because they they brainwashed citizens into picking on their Jewish neighbors and eventually attacking their Jewish neighbors. And she said, how is that any different from attacking people for their political beliefs? I get what she was trying to say. Obviously, any comparison to anything with the Holocaust is very it's a shot.

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Any comparison you're going to piss people off. It's a dumb thing to do. I'm not disagreeing with any of that. But here's what bothered me. The grounds for her being fired based on that opinion was that she was somehow reducing the plight of Jewish people during World War Two. OK, I get that. I understand that perspective. However, how is it any different from all the people on the left when Trump got nominated or elected and they said he's like Hitler?

[00:25:20]

How is that any different? That's the same reduction of circumstance. But on one side of that coin, it's OK to say. And on the other, it's it won't even be addition to Rosa.

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What's interesting, just entered Theodoros with an interesting take. Look at you with your bedspreads. Then all of a sudden Joe comes in a bill.

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I've had a lot of time to think.

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You know what you're saying, Joe, is she should have compared it to slavery and it would have been.

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I just don't get I just don't. All I'm saying is whether you agree or disagree, whatever, it's I just don't get this place that we're in where there's no room for discussion about anything.

[00:26:03]

And even because there's too many channels and many channels and then you got to, like, do sensational shit. I don't know what the fuck it is. I mean, I'm on that fucking show now. I got to watch what the fuck I say.

[00:26:14]

Yeah, I know. It's just yeah, I'm a fan of that show. We all everybody was so we see on the Mandalorian.

[00:26:24]

The Star Wars. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Cancela action figure. That's how deep cancer culture is. They our action figure.

[00:26:32]

It's like let the action figure come out.

[00:26:36]

I mean you have to pony up to you Bill like Bill. I got a few ideas.

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I think, you know, she was an absolute sweetheart. Yeah, super nice fuckin person and, you know, whatever, and somehow someone will take this video and they'll fucking make me say something else and, you know, try to get rid of my bald action figure.

[00:26:57]

An action figure. Yeah. Yet do you have an action figure?

[00:26:59]

Now, I know you fucking nerds. If you get one dude, I'm buying it. But I don't know, I have no idea, season was awesome, man, that second season with Killer. Holy shit.

[00:27:12]

Less for you, huh? Nothing. Now, honestly, I can't like how it is out. It's fucking crazy time that just like this, just people just waiting, just laying in the weeds.

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It really is bad.

[00:27:32]

Do you think there is a group of people like a type of person out there reading the trades and then going, Oh, Jodorowsky signs a six figure deal. All right, let's dig him, find out what he did wrong.

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And that's how I spend my show that he's human and he's made a mistake in his past. And let's take that dream away. I don't know how it works. Absolutely. There are people doing that.

[00:27:56]

But I think it's even further than that. I think there are people that are watching who's about to break. And and just like they preemptively Buy.com names. Right. So they can sell them back to the famous person because they know they're going to buy this probably and need it. And then I can make a couple of bucks. I guarantee you there's people lying in wait like that and just saying, hmm, this guy star starting to rise a little bit.

[00:28:20]

You know, let me let me just take a few things up.

[00:28:24]

It's got to be I mean, it's the shit comes out so fucking fast, it's crazy. It is kind of crazy. I think it really speaks for having, like, flying under the radar and just making a living and just going like, I don't need to be Will Ferrell. I can just be this guy. You have better put all your shit out there so bad that you're like, yeah, I'm an alcoholic. And everyone's like, all right, he's going to kill himself, Will.

[00:28:48]

We'll let him do his thing. Yeah.

[00:28:51]

How about you just be an individual and you continue to buy tickets to people that you want to go see? Mm hmm.

[00:28:56]

Yeah. And just sort of sort of fucking. Because that's one of the things that's weird to me is a few people that have like they go to go back out on tour and then like. You know, they're going to sell out and people want to go see him and then the people who don't want to see him don't even want to let the people that still want to see him or her. See them, then it just becomes like, yeah, I'm sitting there like it's a.

[00:29:27]

I might think about that is how do you how do you hold up you judging somebody that harshly? About because I'm not no to talk about, like the hard core shit, like sexual assault and rape and stuff, I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about because now it's becoming like, hey, you made an ignorant comparison.

[00:29:46]

That goes right. Right.

[00:29:48]

I'm like I look at that as like, who the fuck stands up to that? I mean, dude, it's a great question.

[00:29:57]

And the brutal part of it is, you know, every once in a while you see my way. I appreciate. Well, it's a pleasure to have you on the show today. Thank you. Thank you. I'm a big fan of, you know, but I mean, it's the problem. The problem isn't the first part of that. The problem is, is is. It's not just go buy tickets, do you want to go see, of course, obviously the problem is they go into the Yelp reviews of the venues and they try to get the venue shut down.

[00:30:25]

And that's the way it helps Joe talk about taste buds. He talking about Britney Spears and fucking Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. Let's talk about. All right.

[00:30:36]

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[00:30:51]

I know. You know, it's funny, I actually texted Bert the other day, said do when we'd podcast. And again, I miss talking to you and you said, I'm smoking a stick right now. And I go, that's funny. I was smoking a cigar when I texted you that. So this is the perfect appetizer for our our little show here.

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[00:37:15]

Russia is the world's largest country drag and drop it near the equator and you'll see how truly huge Africa is. Russia at six point six million square miles. Pales in comparison to Africa, which is eleven point seventy three million square miles. OK. Africa is almost twice the size of Russia. Yeah, I know, but for a country that's impressive that it can be half the size of a continent. Yeah, it's interesting to me that that Russia in in the in the corner, like it goes like this is Russia, St.

[00:37:53]

Petersburg, Moscow, but it goes all the way over here. There we go.

[00:37:56]

It goes from Lithuania to fucking Alaska. Look, it goes around it goes around China. So right through this little pass, if you see look at the front turn in Africa on its side, it's kind of looking like it fits in there.

[00:38:12]

So by creating this map, this map, states know the light blue or my dumb. Well, it's special. The light blue is what the way the map perceives it. And then the dark blue is the actual size. So Africa actually is big and the others are actually smaller.

[00:38:31]

Also, the darker the dark is is oh, I get it because it's at the top of the globe, which is smaller. But I thought the world was flat, man. Oh, I get it. Oh, it's not even close. I see it. What are you saying? What's the difference?

[00:38:46]

I missed it. Sorry.

[00:38:48]

Because of where they are on the globe, Joe. OK, like there's a reason when you go to Europe, they don't fly straight across.

[00:38:55]

They fly up and over because it's shorter.

[00:38:58]

So it looks like it's stretching. It's like it's an illusion, Joe.

[00:39:03]

I mean, this is a great map for a flat earth to look at.

[00:39:06]

Yeah, it is. It's a good one. You know, there's a group of people out there that want to go to the if you notice, like whatever's on the equator is sort of actual size. And the further north you get, it gets smaller. Look how fucking small Canada is. Did you watch that documentary about the flat earth that was built in the rock? I heard he was using them now he was using them. Yeah, he was using their money.

[00:39:30]

I'm going to prove I don't know. Yeah, he said it was a stunt, but the documentary is really it's just really funny because this fucking lunatic is just he taught himself rocket science, literally just it is backyard like. All right, here we go.

[00:39:45]

I'm just taking off in these rockets he's building for my party.

[00:39:51]

Mean the fucking balls that that takes no lack of brains. You know, there's a group of people trying to get money to charter a boat. Because they're going to go down to Antarctica, these are flat earth. They're going to go down there and look at the the ice wall. They believe there's a giant wall of ice. I I supported it 100 percent just so they shut the fuck up, let them go, give them the money, let them go, bring them the guns.

[00:40:16]

And I want to see see the way Burt wants to see people's orgasms faces. I want to see the. Oh my God. There is no ice wall and I'm freezing my ass off here.

[00:40:26]

And I just paid eight grand to head the ice wall to go down here.

[00:40:32]

Yeah. Yeah. I would like to see. What does that mean.

[00:40:36]

Can you, like, peek over the ice wall and then just fall off the earth. The white one are over there. The way the white walkers. What are the white walkers? Is that something else? The secret romance, Game of Thrones? Yeah. So the wall, the wall in the north. What is that?

[00:40:55]

I never even knew. They thought there was an ice wall there. What is what do they think that is? I don't understand. Ice wall conspiracy in Canada. Here we go. And it's just down article flat earth as crews will sail to Antarctica ice wall. Oh, this is March 22nd. Nineteen ninety nine. Are they still going or wait for Y2K? I think they were throwing out there. The journey will take place in twenty twenty. Oh, and yet another thing because of covid.

[00:41:26]

Hmm.

[00:41:27]

That's what they think the world looks like, like a coaster but they think you'll, they think you'll stand on that ice wall and see outer space basically.

[00:41:39]

I like the one with there's like earth underneath it and you can hold the earth like a snow cone and like. We have different flavors in Antarctica. Yeah, yeah, I hear you, I hear you. I like when it's on like a turtle's back. That's wild, man, Jesus. It's just it's so wild. It would be cool if it's true. Yes, I mean, sure, it'd be, you know, but it's just insane.

[00:42:08]

Like people have sailed around the world and stuff. I've flown around it and I granted I didn't have a compass.

[00:42:15]

They could have been doubling back, used the big turn's bill.

[00:42:21]

I like to think I would have noticed. I would have seen my drink going like this. Right now, it's the centrifugal force makes it stay level. It is great. We're back. All the pilots are in on it. I want to see why they all drink like Denzel in that movie. This is sitting on that giant.

[00:42:43]

I want to see them set sail off from their starting point. Right. And disappear into the horizon is they're like, well, we'll be back. We're going to get pictures of the ice wall. And then a month later, they come back from the other side.

[00:42:59]

We haven't hit it yet. Registered.

[00:43:02]

Why don't you just get, like, you know, just get a telescope you're looking at, you know, disappear over the horizon. What do you just do that get a fucking telescope and watch a boat disappear over the horizon? There it is. Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait. I can see Pluto with this girl that I can't see this boatload of the fucking ice wall, I can't get over Joe's picture of what he's saying. So they take off of the boat.

[00:43:30]

Joe Salazar, waving, waving, waving, said he feels a tap on the shoulder, goes, hey, you're back.

[00:43:36]

Yeah, they're looking in the wrong direction.

[00:43:38]

And then they turn around, they go, Joe, what are you doing here? I go, What? We just sailed straight. Yeah, you're right back. The earth is round. Yeah.

[00:43:47]

I wouldn't be here so fast.

[00:43:53]

Joe, what are you doing at the ice wall? This is the ice wall where we started.

[00:43:57]

This is you where the circle loops again. Wow. Shapeways. So we got to. I want I got to go, go ahead. So I got to go. I know it's a pandemic. Where are you going?

[00:44:16]

Where are you going? I got a meeting at 6:00.

[00:44:19]

Well, go ahead. I want to tell her. I want to tell you two things. I want my favorite Jodorowsky story, Bill, my favorite Totonno's the story. So I've never met Joe and we're working at comics. I thought of it because of the Petraeus documentary. We're working at comics and I show up and and Joe's like, oh, I'm going on stage. We're working with Jessica Kherson and she I don't really talk to her backstage. Joe goes on stage, he brings her on and Joe and it was a light show.

[00:44:49]

Not a lot of people Joe does OK on murder, but I'm thinking, OK, it's gonna be a little work just tonight comes off. He's got a cocktail in his hand, sits down, Jessica goes on stage and he goes, You ever seen Jessica work? And I said, no.

[00:45:00]

And he goes, Oh, you've got a long weekend and thunder. Thunder Oh, that's funny.

[00:45:13]

Jessica Yeah.

[00:45:13]

Jessica goes on stage like, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah.

[00:45:20]

You know, God damn it, man. That's the two people I never want to follow at the shower are Kirstyn and Greer Greers, the other one where you're just on rehearsal and possible impossible.

[00:45:32]

I mean, that guy's so fucking good. I'll have anxiety. Also, by the time he's done that, they're they're in love with him. It goes past the jokes. Yeah. There's the audible groan that you hear when you go on stage after him.

[00:45:48]

Like I have to look at this now.

[00:45:52]

I got. Yeah, there was that I've had I've had some brutal sets, especially old days when the cellar was the cellar back in the day before the cellar became famous. So I guess the cellar itself is famous now. But back in the day when it was just something that tourists just stumbled into and NYU kids knew about it, you know, it was like it was a lot different vibe there.

[00:46:18]

And who was who was the guy you hated, aside from Greer, who was the guy both for both of you, who was the guy in your respective clubs that you just hated?

[00:46:31]

When you were still really in the trenches, you know, every Friday and going after, you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's that's what I mean. Going after, like, you know, when you got to do that 1:00 a.m. set and it's just like you need the 80 bucks or whatever it is.

[00:46:45]

And, you know, you're just not in a position to say no, no career was the best, was actually a legit good comic. And then there was other ones who were just like, you do that Late Show at the comic strip. And they get a couple you know, a couple of people who all they did was The Late Show at the comic strip and have to go on after that shit that would you and that wasn't even like killing as much.

[00:47:09]

It was just taking the crowd just so far in this. And you all you had was 11 minutes or whatever to try to get them back to just where you would have started if it wasn't so fucking crazy.

[00:47:22]

Like the comic strip I know was weird, like eight at nine o'clock and stuff.

[00:47:26]

They had, like all these like these joke writers that were wearing like sweaters and shit and barely cussed. And then by the time The Late Show was like fucking you had to go up there with, like the whip and a chair. Yes. That's what Steve Burns. Steve Byrne got stitches. They threw that fucking chair at him when he it was a completely different club.

[00:47:46]

Yeah. And I used to work it because I used to live right around the corner. I lived on the Upper East Side so I would do that Late Show and that would be my final show of the night. And I would fucking go in there. And every time I would come walking out muttering, like, I'm just just you don't need that extra 50 bucks, just go home.

[00:48:03]

And in a good mood. I started doing The Late Show at Dangerfield's, which was just a completely different.

[00:48:10]

Now, every Late Show had its rookie mistake, Bill, and you'll laugh at this. I remember I was always getting The Late Show at the Strip and then, you know, I guess I'd done my first half hour or something. I really thought, like, I was coming into my own and they gave me eight spots again and I wrote back and I go, I need to respectfully decline these late sets. I feel that they do not provide an environment for me to do what I am able to do as a comedian.

[00:48:35]

And I would like you to put me on earlier with respect.

[00:48:38]

And they were just like, take care yourself.

[00:48:42]

That was it. That was if I never work there again because I just didn't know. I didn't know. I was like it in my head.

[00:48:48]

It made perfect sense, you know. Yeah, no, that was one of those. Yeah. You you thought that there was people working late night because they wanted to. Yeah. Those shit show acts that you had to go on after back then and those that they didn't even want to be doing that. They wanted to go out on like eight or nine and they would tailor their act.

[00:49:04]

Like you said, they tailored an act for it. It was like they had this is your late night, 12 minutes. Yeah.

[00:49:11]

You eventually just had to give and give to it. And it was so it just was just all ethnic, you know, you imagine of a Jewish guy opened a deli with a Puerto Rican Day. Yeah, yeah. Jewish guy.

[00:49:25]

Loud and it would sound like these accents.

[00:49:27]

Yeah.

[00:49:29]

Puerto Rican goes down on a woman but he brings some rice and beans, you know.

[00:49:34]

Yeah, I saw that. It was fucking horrible. Yeah. And the crowd ate it up this and you go off there with your fucking bullshit.

[00:49:45]

You thoughts.

[00:49:48]

Oh God. It was very specific.

[00:49:51]

But you know, Santa Claus comes to my neighborhood, but he's a different kind of Santa Claus. It comes to that white neighborhood. You're like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to follow this Santa Claus. We take you for a spin on his Santa. And is he going to fucking pull out a Glock and everything up there with your white shit like steal? My dad was wacky.

[00:50:11]

Yeah. Oh, boy.

[00:50:14]

I wish I just had the self-esteem to walk out. I can't go on after this shit. I can't. It's. It's like this is like a Vegas show up there, you know, early bird, sorry, you're in this very specific, but you know who is really hard to fucking follow, especially like he would get I mean, always, but he'd get these pockets on weekends where you were like, fuck, fuck. That was D.C.. Benny, do you know?

[00:50:41]

Yeah, I watched him make that room shake and just and you're just like, but if it was a bad crowd and D.C. went on, he could change Yamaji and turn them into a good crowd. And so but if it was a good crowd, he went on, he there was no following him.

[00:50:58]

Yeah. D.C. at the Boston was that was a town. Real tough because he just stood there and he kind of, you know, giggled to himself and looked looked off in the distance and it's actually a good impression right now is like, hey, it's my impression of the time. Doctor, what are you looking at? All right. All right. Here we go. And fucking. Yeah, ever. Obviously, the one dollar guy and all, suddenly everyone's like, I know that fucking one dollar guy.

[00:51:23]

God, yeah.

[00:51:24]

Now, yeah, it was a slow build, but you knew where it was going and it was just the inevitable. Crushing and he was gorgeous, yes. I don't miss those days, too. I miss the hands after I do not miss eating my balls every other set for eight straight years, I don't I don't miss that at all.

[00:51:46]

Flop, sweat, dry mouth. When you have those late ones. I mean, I'm not exaggerating, I will have they would give me anxiety all week long, all week long, all the anxiety about it, like I got a one 30 a.m. spot on Friday and it's all I will fucking think about because I'm just like I just because you and half the time it's fine, but you just know that it could be fucking disastrous.

[00:52:15]

So there was too. There was no one that got me forever. Was was the Boston Comedy Club. I used to get sick to my stomach when I would walk by during the day looking at it just like my stomach will get knotted up, like, oh man, that place, it just it owned me for so many years. And then talent had a room. LEBAR Bat, did you ever do that one in the Upper West Side.

[00:52:36]

It closed before I did tons of shows with talent.

[00:52:39]

I never did that one before class.

[00:52:41]

But Doodler Barbet let's say I did 10 shows there. I killed. I bombed. I killed. I bombed. I killed a bomb. I never figured it out. And after I bomb, I'd be sitting there and I needed the money paid. Seventy 75 bucks. And I was like, I'm fucking I'm going to go down here and just eat it and just get my money so I can make my rent, right. And then I would kill.

[00:53:04]

Yeah, I'll be like, oh, man, I got this room figured out. And I come in a little cocky the next time, every fucking time. And they would just like it was after work crowd and like a Tuesday night.

[00:53:15]

And you know, when you bond talent would do that outro mind all comedy ain't easy like, oh, I got that outro dude.

[00:53:25]

I remember Kyle Grooms told me. He bombed so bad in there once that he told the he told the audience he was going to set a bomb off in the place and he goes, I'll blow this fucking place up. There's going to be cheap suits and hair weaves all over the street.

[00:53:42]

So I saw Uncle Jimmy Mak rest his soul. Yeah, I saw him. And I remember when he was doing bad, I knew I was going to eat it and I did. And I remember he said something about his career.

[00:53:55]

And this woman just yelled at dead silence, said N-word, what career? And everybody just laughed at a moment, just like, Oh my God, yeah. And then you're just sitting there, like, on just all your material. I can't do that. Can't do that one. And you just looking for that oasis, like, what can I open with?

[00:54:12]

What can I open with then I'll have it up, clap it up, clap it up. Come onto the stage now and you're like, I got nothing. I got nothing.

[00:54:19]

It gives me such anxiety to think about it, dude. I do. I remember doing a show with talent. It was me, it was talent. Me and one other guy and I was featuring talent was toasting. It was a weekly room he had and he would just do it with three comics every week.

[00:54:33]

I won't say who the headliner was because he ate his ass just and edited it out of your mouth and say it and Andrle edited it out.

[00:54:51]

That was how it was hosting his own show and struggling, and when you saw him struggling, you were like, Jesus Christ, this is going to be a fucking dog.

[00:55:05]

Never seen him have a bad set ever. It was it was once in a while you'd be at one of his rooms and it would just be like it was it just, you know, it was just too rough. He went I was struggling. I went on struggling. Nobody was doing well.

[00:55:22]

Headliner went on he was bombing so bad, he sat down on the stage with his legs hanging off the side like fucking Tom Sawyer on the duck drink, and he just kept sipping it in between every joke because it was so quiet.

[00:55:40]

It just gets so dry. And then you heard the straw.

[00:55:44]

You heard the bike because there's a talent Cmax me. He goes, give this motherfucker fresh drink. Goddamn. Through those some of those fucking rooms, oh, you know, it was another tough one. What was the one was a beautiful club to fuck. I hate that I'm so old. I forget them. It was down on like. It was Capone's room on the lower west side. That was another room I never figured out I never. You guys remember Nelson, I remember hearing about it.

[00:56:22]

I never did.

[00:56:23]

It was one of my favorite bars to go into it after my set. If I went OK, it was a fun place to hang out with, but it was just like there was something about I don't know whether it was spaced out. I don't know what it was, but it was just one of those rooms that it was like the Bermuda Triangle that you would you were never going to figure out unless you just did it every week. Like like Capone had a tobacco.

[00:56:47]

Capone was like bulletproof, but like he had it down. I used to fucking go in there every other time. You know, Capone, like Capone would just be if you killed. He was like, all right, the next if you bombed, he'd be looking at you like, why the fuck did you come down? And I would just be walking around. So then the next time I would come down to do it, all I would be thinking about is the disappointed look on Capone's face from the last time I did it.

[00:57:12]

And I try to, like, block that out.

[00:57:15]

Yeah, it's brutal.

[00:57:17]

Dude, what was Capone saying that he would do about the Puerto Rican dudes dancing that si that he would do that thing?

[00:57:24]

It would. That would be murder.

[00:57:27]

I know this, but what is it he would do like a thing about like like the wavelike Puerto Rican dudes dance or something like that. It was a very simple premise, but he would do it and he would do the dude maybe go on that and not see you just like that puppy. And it would be like, dude, it sounded like Oprah was giving cars away. The fucking place was just exploding, dude, like God.

[00:57:49]

And you were just even if you were like two guys after him, you'd be like, I can't fuck. What the fuck, man?

[00:57:57]

There's just nothing left for any recourse. Was a hard guy to follow. I know that is. Oh, God. Freddie Rick's Freddy Rex.

[00:58:07]

Yes. A Johnny Bricks. No, not Johnny Bricks. No, no. No one knows what happened to him. Freddy Rex is hard to follow.

[00:58:17]

Stapleton Rob Stapleton was a beast. He used to host Nel's. After after Kapone had it, you know, those rooms used to just flip all around. Yeah. Yeah, you're going way back into the memory bank here. A lot of bad sets, dude, I think I bombed on every street in Manhattan, really thinking like we kind of went all around in Upper West Side, Lower West Side.

[00:58:45]

Upper East Side was the strip. The cellar was the village. Uh, what was that room Donelle had out in Brooklyn? I don't remember the name of this man.

[00:58:57]

I don't know Pokeno, because I was the way he was do that was the one that you would do and then you'd be standing on a subway platform and some guy come up, Yo, man, bootleg comedy, bootleg comedy. Then you have like a little DVD in your fucking face would be on it and you're like, how am I on it?

[00:59:14]

I was just wearing that shirt and would be left for your fucking show like a week ago.

[00:59:18]

It's funny that I put my ass in that. I remember one time I told a guy I got heckled and I told a guy to blow me and the crowd went silent and then I just bombed for the whole set. And then after the set out pulled me aside and he goes, You can't invite a man to your dicks on. You can't in vitamin D.

[00:59:38]

Different rules, different rules, invite environment into your dick is awesome. Yeah, no, I'd never heard it phrase that way in my life. I was like, that's it. That's like Shakespearean man.

[00:59:52]

Your son.

[00:59:54]

Yeah. Unless it's a lesson, you know, OK, because there's all these different rules in the the air quote, uptown robes. I remember one time doing a college gig. And it was it was me, Greg, Carrie, in this female comic, I'm not going to say her name right over your mouth of your mouth saying, yeah, I don't get a. So. I can't cover your mouth. I thought you were going to say.

[01:00:31]

That would have been hilarious. So we show up. And we think it's going to be a college kids, you know, by basically mostly white kids with a smattering of whatever. Right it was. It was the opposite was an all black crowd. So we're going up, so she's kind of freaking out and I was like, listen, these crowds, all you got to do is just get you get that first jokin, you're good. And you ride that wave and it'll be the greatest crowd ever.

[01:01:00]

I didn't tell you the other thing. If you don't get them in that first one, you're going to wonder why you ever got in this fucking business. So she went up there.

[01:01:09]

And he was fucking murdering, just talking about her life.

[01:01:15]

Yeah, because she's beautiful. So first of all, like, what the fuck, you know, stand offish. And then then she got him and she was fucking murdering and she was talking about being drunk and going into the ladies room. And it was all working. And she's going, you got that your legs up. And she was acting it out and everybody's rock and dying. Laughing And then she goes, and then your hair's sleeping on the floor.

[01:01:39]

And then crickets. And I looked over at Greg, Carrie and go. She brought up hair and he goes she brought up hair.

[01:01:48]

And then that was it. Oh, that was it. Because she had like network news anchor woman hair. Yeah. So. She and then so I think at first, people pulling back and then when she was self-deprecating, they were on board and then when they brought up. When she brought it up, it would turn it would turn out like, do I tell you? And then she was like, what the fuck happened?

[01:02:19]

Oh, my God.

[01:02:19]

And and and then she didn't know how to get out of it. Then she started rushing, dude. And it was like, I've never seen a set like that. Where it was just like, OK, she's got it, she's got him, oh, my God, she's going to get a standing ovation. Holy shit, holy shit. She should quit comedy. She shouldn't do this anymore.

[01:02:36]

Wow, dude, that's wild. That's what. But that's those crowds like that would happen in those. I remember doing a show in I think it was in Bed Stuy for Kenny Williams. And I went on in the first six minutes I was doing really, really well.

[01:02:52]

I remember I brought Craig Baldor with me and Craig Baldo got on stage and did a joke about Chris Isaac and an all black room and Bedstemor.

[01:03:00]

They were like, who the fuck are you talking about?

[01:03:07]

I just remember seeing them on stage going and singing.

[01:03:13]

So it's like, what? Anyway, I have to be honest.

[01:03:18]

Who do I miss that New York. It was wild in New York that you could just walk in and do stand up, you can get in front of a group full of people, and they would be looking at you like you were from another planet, like your mainstream white shit that was on every channel. They were living in such a different world that it was just like.

[01:03:42]

And then they would bring I remember I remember Charlie Murphy getting mad at me. Because I told them I you know, I hadn't heard of James Brown until Eddie did the bit on them. Fuck you, man. You know who James Brown was because that was like that was like me saying if some something not known who AC DC was to me. Right. Like fucking. He came back to it like 20 minutes later, we arrived to a gig together, we were talking about other shit.

[01:04:11]

He goes, the fuck? I mean, you know, James Brown was you really start, you know, I feel good.

[01:04:16]

You must have heard that shit. I didn't understand until years later, you know, they went dead.

[01:04:21]

You know how good James Brown was right after the whole world. Should it fucking I should that back then? Everybody knows him now. But back then, growing up, I should have known him as well as I knew fucking Paul McCartney and wings.

[01:04:35]

Rum pum pum pum pum pum de de de de de de de de de de de de de like. I knew that shit. James Brown's out there, like, blowing out an ACL every fucking show, giving the greatest show ever. And I had no idea who he was until his brother did.

[01:04:49]

And it was an interesting. Oh, that's right. It was Eddie that did him. I didn't realize I'm thinking, yeah, that is upsetting. But it's Eddie Murphy's brother you're talking to. I forgot about that. Yeah. It was an interesting you're right. And it doesn't really exist anymore, but it was a very interesting New York.

[01:05:07]

There were like three at least three distinct circuits of comedy with three very distinct different on that ridiculously overlap because like talent had a room one time diagonally across from Dangerfield's.

[01:05:23]

Yeah, Dangerfield's was was a completely different pool of white people. This was like this old school bridge and tunnel. Yeah. Like it felt like they'd all still been coming there since eighty six. And then right up to then you could walk across the street, go do talent's room and it was like the whole like what was one of the big power 106 hot ninety seven in the park. All of that shit that was going on was all in that room.

[01:05:50]

Right.

[01:05:51]

And then the same thing with you do like the Boston or the cellar and was that type of room. Right.

[01:05:57]

And then the NYU skater kids. Yeah. You got a couple of blocks east and you're in like a bookstore, you know, or a basement library. And kids are like they want like literature references in the gym in the West Village.

[01:06:10]

Do you remember the gangster gaze that was like a thing for a minute?

[01:06:13]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those hardcore lesbians walk down the street waiting for you to look at that chick I used to date a chick that lived in that neighborhood. I used to get threatened every fucking I didn't like to sit there and try to destroy six hundred yards there.

[01:06:28]

That McDonald's that was that McDonald's where the fat black is in the West Village. You know, the McDonald's like two doors down. That's close down. No, no, no, no. It's still there. No it closed. It did. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's what I just read an article about. It was down.

[01:06:48]

I was going to say shit still jumps off. It was still like in the last month of New York beat up. But I remember going to there be like this McDonald's still gets crazy. Like it doesn't matter how much they fancy up the West Village that McDonald's sends pizza.

[01:07:04]

Yeah. Limonov now famous fucking comics that I went in there. And sat down at like 2:00 in the morning, had a slice of pizza with them, wondering both of us sitting there going like that. We picked the right business. I mean, what the fuck? Just ate our balls on some late show. Yeah, oh, and then there's another circuit that was there was when the art scene when the art scene was this shit really want to go to like this is before your time, Joe.

[01:07:32]

There was a room called Surf Reality.

[01:07:34]

The reality is hosted by Facebook. I can't remember who. I don't know if the guy had a name when I went to I got there in like 95. Oh yeah, I saw some shit in there, some act outs in there that were like. Prior level influenced, that was like one man type of shows, like this guy had like a toxic roommate and he was talking about how he fucked with them and it started off funny and then just went to this ridiculously dark fucking place.

[01:08:06]

And you just sat there.

[01:08:07]

Why? He's like, Dude, I feel like I'm watching a fucking movie right now.

[01:08:10]

What was what was Jeff Singer's room that was like the gateway to premium blend or whatever the Uptown was?

[01:08:20]

The New York. New York. No, no.

[01:08:24]

I thought not eating it. Luna Lounge, Luna Lounge.

[01:08:27]

Luna Lounge Lounge. One of my favorite poetry stories. Remember that dude, Johnny?

[01:08:32]

Johnny Spanish, his name was he was a comic whose name was Johnny Spanish when I favor poetry stories. He went on and bombed really bad that Patrice went on after him and he goes, Hey, Johnny, you should change your name to Johnny English. Translate that horseshit, act into Spanish.

[01:08:55]

I just the meanest possible thing.

[01:08:58]

You could possibly still love doing that shit with people's names.

[01:09:06]

Yeah. Yeah. Eddie.

[01:09:14]

All right. I think, you know, we were supposed to do two episodes. I think we just did a two parter with you, Joe.

[01:09:19]

I think we did. I did. This was awesome, man. This was awesome.

[01:09:23]

Next week. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, Joan Rose is on this amazing podcast called Taste Buds with Sal Vulcano from the. Thank You. The the amazing practical joker show Impractical Jokers. And I got to tell you, some of the funniest fucking thing I've heard in a while is when you guys were arguing the mic flurry versus the what's the other thing called the blizzard is some shit. Yeah.

[01:09:52]

Because we were we were arguing Oreos versus Chips Ahoy. And then we got into like the Oreo blizzard in the MC flurry and all that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. The mic flurry versus the frosty wendys. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah.

[01:10:05]

And he s literally goes dead serious. He was talking about how much the blizzard was better because it got better looks.

[01:10:13]

I'll tell you right now, the McLaury can take a fucking walk, but he said it would like such passion. I go to fucking shit about shakes like that. So I texted him the mic flurry can take a fucking walk. And I had the three crying emojis and he just wrote, Hi, hi. And he goes and it can't tell, like he's serious. And he told me because I just had a blizzard.

[01:10:35]

The my favorite thing he ever said on that show was he was going to have the quality and food products dropped and dead serious.

[01:10:42]

He goes she goes Hawaiian Punch went from sixty two ounces to fifty eight right under our noses.

[01:10:53]

Dude, I got to tell you, like, I've disagreed with a lot of your shit, but you are 100 percent right with that, whatever that fucking desert was, the ice cream store, which is no peach called peach cobbler.

[01:11:05]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I took when you told me that when you said that, you said you ate ice cream sandwiches because of me and you agree with me on peach cobbler.

[01:11:12]

I took that right on the show because I was rubbing my nose in it every fucking time you texted him about my sister in law makes actually makes a good one.

[01:11:23]

It's kind of like peach cobbler is the coleslaw of desserts, which most people it's all milky and runny. Yeah. Now people learned how to make it more hardy, like the crust is nonexistent.

[01:11:36]

When I eat fucking peach cobbler, I feel like like it's gone through a Cowes, like two out of the three stomachs and then it's just yakked on to the fucking plate salt like warm and pre chewed. I fucking I hate peach cobbler. Yeah.

[01:11:49]

I think it's gross man. I think it's really gross. I don't, I don't think peaches translate for the most part. I don't think peaches translate well outside of their original form. It's something like when you get up, you say they're limited job.

[01:12:02]

I would say they're limited. I would say that they're just they they lose something.

[01:12:07]

When you when you win, a peach gets hot. It doesn't have the same tartness for whatever reason. I don't know why peach candy never really quite tastes like peach peach gum. You know, it's like it's just it's just a weird I like peach iced tea, but would you say it stops is great. Yes, that's very good. Yeah. Nice fuzzy navel. All right.

[01:12:28]

We should wrap this up before we end up going back to Britney Spears again. If we were sitting here talking about peach schnapps. Hey, by the way, congratulations on your Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

[01:12:37]

Fuck, fuck. Yeah, that was great. Thanks.

[01:12:40]

I love that Super Bowl. That was a perfect game plan. Executed flawlessly. Absolutely loved it. All right. We got to wrap up here and everybody, the wonderful thanks for the influential, the sober for now teen idol sensation from the Opie and Anthony program.

[01:12:59]

Mr. Joe DeRosa, thank you for coming on. Thanks, Joe. Thanks for having me. Check out taste buds on the no pressure network on YouTube and and also the hey podcast on there. So thanks for having me, guys. Take care right now. So for next time. All right. Keep fighting the good fight there, cutie pie.

[01:13:16]

You do see it. All right.