Hey, guys, my new series, The Cabin, is streaming right now on Netflix, it's got Thompson Carajo, Joey Diaz for 10 p.m., Mishkat Anthony Anderson, Caitlyn Jenner, Kaley Cuoco, Joel McHale, Big Jokers, and Don Cole. Who am I forgetting? Nikki Glaser, whom I forgetting? I'm not forgetting. Someone is going to be so mad. It's streaming right now on Netflix. Go enjoy it.
And until the cat. Hey, what's going on?
It's over and it's time for another episode of the wonderful film or pod cast ballots going on, dude, I am so proud to have a podcast with you because I wanted to talk about that.
I've never enjoyed I've never enjoyed television more in my entire life than sitting on the bus and watching your opening monologue for SNL. I'm so proud of you, man. I'm so excited. It was so great. It was so awesome. It was fucking everything I love about you, Bill. I can't say enough about it. I really. Honestly. I mean, it was amazing, man, I'm fucking so in awe of you because you went out in front of America and did exactly what you do.
I didn't know there was like 60 people there. And that's all you do is just I'm making these 60 people laugh.
I never once thought. I never once even thought about it going out there. What do you mean like I mean, so tell me and I know you, Bill, and I know you're going to downplay everything and I know you're going to fucking push it off to the. Hey, man, you know, I did that. I fell one hundred feet tall and I couldn't sleep for two nights. I was so thrilled that that it went the way I wanted it to go.
So, I mean, I'm not I didn't do it, I had a total meltdown the Sunday before the week started looking like, I don't want to do this. Forget about what if I mess it up? It was just like, I don't want this level of being known. I don't deserve to be here. Alec Baldwin, Jim Carrey. I don't see me in that world. I just want to move to the middle of nowhere, just do my fucking jokes, fuck podcast's and fuck everything.
And just I wanted to because I am I reverted back to who I was before I started doing this, which was a you know, I was a wallflower. I would just stand in the corner and just fucking try to avoid conversations and just get shitfaced. So it's nice, but it's so great because it is who you are is the guy at the loading dock who says the thing where everyone's waiting for the shipment and says the thing to catch everyone off guard to make them giggle meant the joke about Rick Moranis was so fucking funny.
I literally I mean, we we we watched it in the bus and. As comics watching you on SNL, we were like that, not not being on SNL, but what you did is our goal like to go up and just be. Fucking hilarious that Rick Moran's joke was probably I mean, look, one of the best late nights I've ever seen in my entire life at SNL, Letterman, Kimmel or any of that shit, but that one of the best sets I've seen, Netflix, I mean, one of my favorite things.
All right, Burt, Jesus Christ. But the system I think that I was funny. The Rick Maraniss thing was I thought I thought that that was the one that was going to get me in trouble. Really. People love him. I love him. I thought they were not Rick, because I did a darn dress and somebody in the band went, Oh, really?
Yeah. I was like, because I expect groans from the crowd.
When I hear it from the band, I'm like, oh, maybe I am saying something fucked up. But it wasn't about that. I was making fun in New York, not him.
Yeah. Yeah. So and I know that. I know you and I know that you're you're pretty to the vest but like. So how does an SNL monologue work out. Do you run it in front of Lorne Michaels to run the material you're going to show? Do you put it in front of the council. You just do it whatever you want to do. But then there is the point where somebody watches it. It's kind of cool. You just do it in front of the crew standing on that stage.
It makes you comfortable. I just kept standing on that stage so I could I could become part of the room because I kept looking at the stage and seeing that iconic background and Shaun Pelton's drums and everything. And every time I looked at I got butterflies and it's like and they weren't the good butterflies. That was the I think I got to go take a shit butterflies. I was like, know, I can't be having that. So I just kept in between sketches, you know, but we were rehearsing, just going up there and standing there and looking around the room, breathe in and in and just doing everything I could to just make you feel like, you know, walking up the steps, coming back down, just trying to get my stank on it a little bit.
And, you know, so then invariably you. I forget maybe Friday, I think. I ran the set. And then Saturday, then you have to deal with that if there's any standards and practice stuff, because it comes on at like eight, 30. So there was one one word that they made me change.
And I was like, oh, fucking Lenny Bruce then. And they were like, we come on at 8:00 on the West Coast. And I was just like, you're right. I get it. There's kids watching. I shouldn't say that. So we what was the word? Rape.
For some dumb reason, I thought I could say that. Oh, it made sense to me and now saying it to you, now it's just like, yeah, what was I. Yeah, I was that guy, that sound. All right. All right. Let's let's sell some donuts tonight during the show. It was really. Yeah, it was done that I thought that, but. I remember when I ran the set and I said I saw a woman, I don't know what she did on the show, but she had the clear face shield.
Yeah. And she just I just heard muffled. I heard well.
And in my and my egotistical Hatami. Yeah. And that's going to crush.
Yeah. So but they were totally cool but they they they did. And then Lauren came in after dress when it didn't go so well under her dress, it went like it was sort of clunky during dress rehearsal, which they bring a crowd and you just basically do do the show and all the sketches and then they decide which ones they're going to keep, which ones they're going to lose. And it's full dress, the wigs and all that stuff. And and I wasn't happy with and I was like, man, not this fucking goddamn New York fucking overly warped vibe.
Yeah. Please don't let it be this. And then it wasn't that. It wasn't. I sat and Lauren was just like, make sure you take the time to say hello. People don't know who you are, your fans do, but a lot of people watch the show, don't know you, so make sure you say who you are then doing stand up for a while. Thank you. That whole beginning was his idea that got everybody locked in with me.
And then my first joke worked. And I think I told like six jokes before. I was like, oh, shit. This is this is going so. That was that was a great that was great that you did come in. I mean, we had lost I mean, six or four comics on a bus. We analyze the set.
We watched it a few times and we watched it on my bus driver, Ron, and analyze it because I be honest, I still get it different every time. When I left off, I left off part of the white woman joke. I left off the second half of the John Wayne bit. I just didn't have time because I had to condense it down. Were you doing that on the fly? Yes, God dang, it's so funny. Someone who isn't one of my buddies who is not a comic, said he's not reading a prompter or he's not looking off cue cards and all the comics with each other were like, he's a fucking comic pro.
Like this is he's run this set like he knows this set. He can pivot on this set super quick. This is that. This is what we do. I'm curious, what was the what what was was there any pushback from the from the from the cast on what you were doing material while they were everybody like to all you have to do when you go there is just be humble and be happy to be there, which is exactly what you should be.
And then once I felt like once they know because every week they get a new diva coming in and it's just like, oh God, what is this person going to be like in the second you come in and you're like, do whatever you guys write, I'm going to give it 100 percent. I feel like they're like, oh, my God, this got you. OK, you're going to help us out. We'll help you up.
You know, it's so I just thought, I believe that they wrote was totally in my wheelhouse and like I said, once you do that, once you do this, get the sketches are easy because it's like you're dead. If you sit next to Kate McKinnon, it's going to crush. She is the girl. You've got to do this to the most talented person. I mean, no disrespect to anyone on that show. Kate McKinnon is the funniest human being I've ever seen in front of a fucking camera.
She makes me giggle so much. I mean, Bill, I was more jealous that you got to hang out with Kate McKinnon than you were four. You do.
I'm not going to lie. I was I was really happy that I was getting to do a sketch with her. But yes. And also, I wanted to do one with Keenan because I loved Keenan for the Great to Man and Pete and then all that. Then everybody else. You know, other than the comics like Punky and Melissa that we can talk to Plunky, she was great, man. Yeah. That I already knew them.
But everybody else was sort of like, you know, Chris, rather than the Petraeus thing, but it was just Michael chatting, I guess, I guess a lot of the people over there. But it was like the other the new people that I got to meet. You know, Mikey, day back beating those guys, Alex Moffett and like those moments ago, they were just Heidi was hilarious.
You have two really funny sketches and I don't know, was just it was fun. Like, I didn't I wasn't nervous about. The sketches I and I just was the monologues, like all I got to do is have fun. Yeah, go out there. So I think I just had anxiety about doing it. So during the dress, I just came out like, hey, how's it going? Well, what's up with her? Just kind of went right into it.
And then I made adjustments, but I had to kind of, like, catch up after screwing up. So the monologue kind of did one of these. And. You know, I don't know yet, like Lauren just sat down with me and did that Lauren thing. And I was sitting down there, I'm like, all right, the next one's for real. Here's Lauren, what's he going to say? And he just gave me this. Great advice, and then he's funny as hell, super deadpan, too, and deadpan, I always miss the debt.
I always get the deadpan joke 10 minutes later. Yeah, I think he was having fun messing with me a little bit. But now and then, Jack White signs all.
Oh, hold on. Hold on. Me talk about just what you don't are we're not done with the Bilborough experience. So do you get to say to them when they at the very beginning of the week and they start pitching sketches. I know for a fact I would be like, whatever you want me to do with Kate McKinnon. I'm doing that. However, that Kate McKinnon that you guys did was fucking awesome, was really awesome. That killed from table read on God.
You have just said that she makes like these really unique, hilarious choices that don't, but they pick them because it's so unique. You have I feel like the whole for what you're going to do to compliment what she's doing is still available to you because she's pulling from a room you don't even know exists.
I mean, dude. It sounds crazy, but like me and my daughters have watched her do sketches on, like on YouTube, on the TV. She's that fucking good. The alien sketches where she got abducted by aliens.
I am ashamed how little SNL. I'm always working.
I miss it on the show. So when you roll in, do you. Do you feel a pressure to bring it in the monologue? Did you feel like a pressure working on the set to do bring bringing on the monologue to do a set where it's memorable as opposed to just possible? Because I think arguably anyone would say your monologue set for SNL is probably one of the hottest monologue sets anyone's done since Chappelle said since Chappelle. Honestly, I mean, you I believe I thought over and over as I jogged around a fucking broken down racetrack, I thought he did.
He set at a fucking a drive in movie at outdoor venues. If you were running, he sets this is a covid set. This is a material you had for him, right? Well, the Rick Moranis thing I came up with that obviously it happened that week, so and but. The way I was saying it wasn't as funny as the way I did it that night and that was. I was just riffing my monologue in the hotel room, getting ready to go over there, and I was riffing about, you know.
The whole covid thing, and at this point, if you catch it now, it's you're an idiot because you're not listening to scientists, that whole thing. Oh, it's a dream come true. And then as a joke. And it's why when speaking a dream come true, Rick Moranis and then my wife burst out laughing. And I was just like as I was just trying to make her laugh, I was like, should I say that? She goes, That's funny.
Oh, that's not too fucked up. That's funny.
God bless Neda. That is the man sit down and take you talking to is fucking brilliant. Is brilliant. The every. There are lots of it and you know, and I get maybe I get close to your sex, I'm your friend and I and I get really excited about it. But Bookchin that Rick Marantis joke caught everyone is the perfect joke because everyone loves Rick Marantis. No one was happy about him getting punched. But you've already gotten one in the chops for fucking crying.
Crying. It's almost like you did stand up for stand ups because we were sitting on the bus going like, you're like coming our fucking fists because it's the perfect joke. It's the point of when you talk about cancer culture, it's that the point is it's a joke. No one doesn't love requirements. No one doesn't see what happened to him is absolutely fucking horrible. Or think if that happened to me, God damn it, I would fucking lose my shit.
However, you pointing it at me, you're painting it as in New York. His back was fucking great. God bless your wife, Bill. That was one of my favorite jokes. Well, yeah, I I appreciate that, but like, you know, in all seriousness, I mean, all you do is actually punch the real Santa Claus is the only thing that could top punching Rick Moranis. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, when you at that point, you knew it was OK.
It was like I said, it was making fun of New York. But so before we talk about Jack White, so you get done you done the monologue. Is there any conversation in between the show of how the monologue went, or are you worried that news outlets are going to pick it up and be like goober attacks one in a million years? No, I didn't like I thought if anybody like the I thought the Groner in the set, I wasn't really thinking about that other stuff, so.
After you do the monologue, you literally go under the bleachers and there just there's like five people just taking off everything you wore as you're putting something else on and you're going to put it on you just like, did that go good? I think I got the glue in a wig on. I really admire the way you were.
The wig all of a sudden there was like Goober's cute with error all.
Holy shit, I love the wigs. I'm a huge fan of my hit. My head is a blank slate. It's one of the most fun things about acting is dressing up as somebody different. You put that thing on it, just look in the mirror like, oh, who the fuck is I know this guy.
I remember this guy used to be able to hit a baseball. Yeah, I know. I only like younger me. I just mean, like, you just, you know, you dress in, like, the sports guy. And, you know, I was obviously doing a little bit I was sort of trying to do the guy from who did the show with Shannon Sharpe.
Oh, that was a great that was that guy and the Solsbury guy I always like. His energy was always kind of funny to me, too. So I was I was trying to do like like. Just like guys like that, I don't know, dude, I don't want to get too inside of it. So people watching the show thinking about what the fuck I was doing. But it's it's like it's such a fun show to do and there's no reason to stress out about it because it's literally everybody around you is working their ass off and then they're just waltzing you around.
If they write the whole thing for you, all you have to do is just go out, do your monologue, and then you're going to go there, wardrobe's going to dress your hair, makeup's going to do your thing, and then you're going to go out there and work with some of the best sketch actors out there. And you're going to be in scenes with two, three for the people and they got you. They're not going to let you fall down on the ground so you can actually just have fun.
And then if you get, like a killer musical guest, you get to stand like that's why I was cheesing. Oh, dude, I was cheesing because I saw what he was doing in rehearsal. And I was just like it was like it reminded me of like when I would go up and bomb. At a comedy club and all the comics were bombing, and then I knew Davutoğlu was next and he could feel the crowd being cocky like they had control of the show.
And I would always hang around like these guys who have no fucking idea what they're in for. And that's what I felt like when I was introducing Jack and his band that like. Like I know you guys know Jack is good, but you have no idea. Because I think he had the like. Psyched I get to perform because like all performers, we're like going nuts, just as much as fans want to see performances, people who perform want to perform and then also the whole you know, we got to send Edie off.
Right. That he had. And it just so happened he had bought the Wolfgang guitar off of Eddie and Eddie set it up. So he was playing that. And then he did the little subtle like just for a few minute, 10 seconds, little tap on the tip of the cap to Eddie. They had the tribute to Eddie. I was at the Van Allen show. It was it was for my experience. It was like a perfect show as far as I had so much fun.
The musical guest killed it. And then I got to say goodbye to such a legend. Like Eddie was such a good guitarist, I learned how to be a better comedian. Watching him, watching him, having this power and knowing that I was just talking to Steve Byrne about that. And then just not do it the whole time, how to pull it back and then in the face with it and then bring it down and then come back up, it's all the same.
It's all the same shit. They're just using instruments to do it, so. I don't know. All right, Jack. Jack, the real Jack White, real quick. Did you get to hang out with Jack White at all to say hi and Jill? Yes, like the dressing room is right across the hall. And I he put out a record of mine from his studio in Nashville. Yeah, one of my. Yeah. The Carnegie Hall one.
So. It was where we like we did the whole deal and put it out, we never met. And then I met him at Vince Vaughn's Wild West. Comedy show, and I think I met him on that one, or there was a time we did an episode for Family from Third Man Records. It's got this amazing. Basically, where he makes records or been there are we did a reading for Ari Shapiro there, you can do like live performance.
It's the coolest little. Thing like that guy, he's literally, like I say, I was joking on my podcast, it's like he's like a time traveler. He's like from now. But if he also said, yeah, I was this age in nineteen thirty five, we'd be like, yeah, I see that. I definitely see that. And then the best possible way, you know. You know, we were just did you geek out on music at all?
With them, I know you did. No, I try not to to, you know. Bore them with too much shit because I believe. So how do you come up with the joke? Do you like. No, no, no. But I know you write that one brings up helicopters or drums. You are fucking engaged.
Yes. Well, I can't imagine you were like. Can a little group tell you what I did? I did my first two solos right before I went back to go do the show, my first two solos in like two and a half years, because I just never I always get my confidence up. And then I go on the road for a while. I'm just, like, really cautious. So it's like I'm not doing this unless I do the flight twice with an instructor.
And then I do like fucking, you know, 10 auto rotations and my instructor saying, like, good, nice, nice. When they're doing that, is you coming into the flare then I'm like, OK, so I had done that two days in a row. I felt really good about that. I did my sets out on the farms and behind motels and, you know, racetracks and shit, and it was fun. And then I got to New York, I went to.
The I went to Chris Rocks when he did it the week before because I got there Thursday. Oh, nice.
Let me come down because he's the coolest dude ever and I'm going out. And I went in and it was just great to go in there to feel the nervous energy and then also be like. I can't believe how small this place is, I mean, it's big, but like the enormity of the show, that it is all happened here since since nineteen seventy five and.
Yeah, saw all that stuff I saw, you know, where we were standing, making the stallion in a backup dancers when all went out, did their thing and then came back out, I'm watching like Chris running around. So it really was good to kind of like just be sort of sitting there on a bench and watch a baseball game before you played it. So I was more nervous. During his show, which was weird, really well, because I had never been there before, so and then I also knew that, like, you know, as a comic, I'm rooting for him.
So I had, like, the butterflies when he was coming out and then he got the first two. Laughs Oh, my God. He's Chris Rock. He's good now.
So, yeah, I don't know, but I don't know why, and I don't remember half. I can't imagine. What's it like the next morning you wake up no post party? No, I'm guessing right now a post party. What's it like the next morning when you wake up or do you get on your phone and look at Twitter or do you look at the news or the social media?
You've got the media for three days. Really? Yes, as you were, Trent, you were trending the night of SNL, the next morning of SNL and fucking Monday morning about SNL, you were trending like TRED, like like Dak Prescott, Dilbert, like fucking trending. And it was amazing. To me, who had your back? The people that had your back is the like, it was the reason you do comedy. It was the people.
Number one, black Twitter fucking love you, love you, love you, like, you know, what's sorry about that is I did like three Beatties, I did the Apollo, I did Chappelle's Show because I always I wanted to have a mixed following because I always loved the crowds in New York because everybody's there. Then it opens up what you can joke about. You know, because everybody's there, so they know you're joking, you know. And who would have thought you do one of the historically whitest shows ever?
And that's what ends up getting you to kind of be able to hop over something.
It was funny because the critiques really were from children, in my opinion. So I looked at a couple of critiques and it was like, you know, my daughters say tired sayings that they learn on the Internet, like this is the content I showed up for or oh, I'm so over this person. If they say this like like literally. Tired sayings, and then I get angry because they're not being original. Like, say what you want to say, but use your own words, don't use someone else's word.
I call that Twitter speak, and the people that got upset were using Twitter speak and being destroyed by adults destroyed. I mean, it was so enjoyable to see some. Child, jump in and think I'll say what I think the crowd's going to say and then see a forty four year old black woman from Atlanta who's a hairstylist, go. Nah, go fuck yourself, child. Like it.
It was awesome, bro.
It was awesome. I, I could just flat out OK when I got up.
Stage, I got the nod from the comics that I respected, my wife said it was funny. I could tell the people at the show were happy. So I knew because the bottom line is that there's people out there, they don't like Goodfellas.
And I can I'm not really into my mood is like if if there's people out there that if you're going to shit on Goodfellas, it's Goodfellas can get a bad review from somebody, you know, what am I above it? And I get it. And it doesn't bother me. And I don't think it's wrong that. That people didn't like what I did. That's fine, that's fine. I just when you take it to the point of I'm now going to try and destroy your career or that's where it just kind of goes off the rails and does that.
And then also I do. I really have a hard time understanding fellow comedians, trashing other comedians sense.
Yeah, like. It's I mean, I mean. Am I going to get into that, but like that lets me know who you are as a person because all of those people. Could easily get my number if they don't have it, if you're a comedian, you can get my number and if you really have a fucking issue. Which is so fucking funny to me as a comedian about a joke.
It like you could you could have easily sent me an email deemed me or whatever, but by the way, by the way, I just like piggy back on this stupid nonsense and try to like I don't know, I'm just like, oh, so you're one of those. You're one of those. All right, cool. That's it. I got that in the in the file cabinet there. Shut that door never to be opened. That is the thing that blows my mind is comedians that would get outraged at another comic taking shots on a big show and really putting themselves out there and really like you.
I mean, you did you didn't try and help you try and help these other people who don't know shit take you out. No doubt that the the cannibalism of that. Is is that's like. I don't know, you know, what I find with those types of people is that you then run into them is they'll literally go like, hey, great job on SNL. And it's just like you realize you put that out on Twitter, right?
Yeah. I mean, I'm sure I've had that experience. I've had experience a couple of times. And yeah, it's sort of a game within the game. And then you got to be like, oh yeah. Hey, thanks. It's so nice that someone like you enjoyed it, even though you said you didn't have it. That's crazy to me. All of that's nuts to me.
It's nuts to me that people jumping on shit. Serious, serious accusations when they weren't there and they're just getting the information as soon as I am and they just go all in like they're there, the D.A. of the state. And they've they've they have like these these big cardboard boxes. Of of of. You know, evidence that they've just poured through over the months, putting into this this case together and it's like, no, this shit just started trending and you're going this this hard.
They like that guy, used to scream about the stocks, not say to do research, but they come up with that energy that blows my mind.
Yeah. That somebody would do that to anybody. You know, it's just like, wow, like how you're really sure that you like that something in that fucking. Thirty six lettered tweet really just I guess that's all why are trials so long?
But we could just wrap this up in a tweet or two. Why don't we just deliberate with a gut, a gut reaction? What do you guys think? You take a look at him. Is he guilty? I was riffing about that, joking about that I was I was doing something called the it's almost like a sketch Twitter lawyer. And it's just like Twitter lawyer, can we hear your opening statement? Yes, I have no fucks left.
I just love that somebody trial is going to start with that opening statement. It's like you're OK now. You're going to be a part of. I hope you're right because I'm not sticking up for defendant. Anybody here, it's just I'm just sort of just observing it like a comment, like that's amazing to me that you can go in that hard or whatever, you know, I don't know. OK, everybody, it's time for the ad reads, We get to watch me and Burt try to read out loud, OK, here we go.
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Love it. So so a lifelong dream. Been in comedy now, what? Twenty eight years, 30 years? How long you been doing standup B? Twenty nine in March. Twenty nine years. Been doing standup. Lifelong dream to us now. What's it like to achieve your dream? Is it better than you thought it was going to be or worse? Most definitely not worth it. It was. Now kind of is exactly what it was. Really total elation, total satisfaction, I didn't feel bad the next day I was there was there was no this hasn't been a letdown.
So it's none of those guys who win the Super Bowl and wake up the next day. And they're like, now what? No, no, I don't have that. The first time I bought a house. Right. I bought a house and I was just like. You know, it was a little house or whatever, but it was mine and I bought it off of telling jokes and, you know, at that point I was just like, you know, selling it.
Opie and Anthony Markets, which was hardcore East Coast. Chicago, San Francisco, now San Francisco, but on the West Coast, they seem to have the oceans and a little bit of the Rust Belt. So that was that was my gravy train working for that great show. And that's always was a comedian who is. You know, Jim Norton got in on the Opie and Anthony show, that's where I was at, and I said to my girlfriend at the time, now my wife, I was just like, I know I'm not supposed to say this, but I feel like I made it.
You know, because I wasn't going to be doing that thing of like. You know that you can't be happy or always keep grinding and never be satisfied with yourself.
That dumb shit, that shit that you see on Instagram, that that fucking heart attack with a heart attack at thirty five of you know, all of that shit that they talk about, like none of that's going to bring you happiness.
You know, if I don't like I should I should say it doesn't work for me. I just look at that and some of that stuff is just it's the dumbest thing. At. There's a lot of that guru advice, and that's one of its. A lot of people as a comedian, as a comedian out there where our little game is, we we find those things and just send them to each other and then talk about them like we're getting something out of them.
It's like. Do you know that thing was like someone's trying to inspire you to work out, but they really just want to show you their abs? Yeah, you know that shit. Oh, I'm part of the private jet with the Lamborghini and a handful of cash and you know what? What do you look at? What are you looking at down there? Look right into the camera. We know the camera's there. Like all of that stuff I like comedically, I live for that shit.
On I mean, it's what it basically is, is that kid from the office who started the humble brag unfortunately passed away.
Harris Harris Twitter is ever his name. Yeah, he was one of my favorite jokes about mishearing people with such a great joke. He said he was talking to a guy and the guy said I'm oh, fuck, fuck. Harris do you know his name? Andrew. Yes, you had it's Harris, Harrisville, here's Twitter. What's the joke? What's this joke going to harass Whitall? Harris Well, he was funny as shit, Bill, I got to tell you this joke because it's not good.
I'm a I'm a. I'm a someone said I'm an info maniac, look, hang on, let me get this joke. It's a good joke. I'm going to read it and you're going to be like a God. Infomania clarity, like, I really like the beginning. It's such a good joke. God damn it. Let's see if I can find it. Someone tweeted it right when he passed. It's horrible to hear that. That a guy like that can get you that's what freaks me out about drugs, is that OK, here you go.
All right. One time he said to a guy, I love learning new things. I was like, I'm a little bit of an infomania. And he thought I said Nymphomaniac. So he fucked me. And I said, no, no, no, no. I like info. And he goes, Well, here's some info for you. You just got fucked clean so far.
Oh, that's a great joke as a great joke.
Oh, well, I'm sorry.
You were saying what were you saying about Harris or you were saying, why do guys like that always die? I don't know, no one said anything bad about this, because when when bad comics die, nobody notices. It just always seems like the funniest people die. Yeah, well, I mean, for that time, unfunny people die all the time. No one just gives a shit and they're just like, go and he's passed. And then that got passed and everyone.
Everyone was heartbroken, and I wonder if I wonder. I wonder how you get into heroin, you know, like seems like I don't I don't want that at all. I mean, is it is it accessible to everyone that way or is there is. I can't imagine getting addicted to heroin, however, and I can imagine all that. That's why I never fuck with any of that stuff, because I knew. I just knew myself well enough is just like I can't there's a certain level of mind altering shit I can't go into because.
I've just I don't know the way I am. Shit that's happened to me, I just know I can't. I can't. Did you ever party with Geraldo? And have drinks and stuff, not not in party with them, I had beers with them is when you partied with him, was there? I only remember him very passingly. The very sweet guy always said hi, always going to be a little bit of advice, but they're like a joke to kind of move himself forward past me a little bit.
You know, I talked to him once pretty seriously about about what he was going through randomly, but was there. Was there something different about the way he parted ways that you saw visibly, or was that just like a little bit of a like a hidden secret with him? Yeah, I know when I when I first. Found out that he was going as hard as he was going. When he started having those. Banders, I guess you're.
I was definitely I remember like Greg, you're Greg Giraldo. And. So I was like, wow, OK. But I wasn't concerned. Because he so had his act together and he's such a smart guy and everything, and when he died, he was he was the guy that made me realize that addiction was a disease. To see someone that's smart, get out, out, get out, done by the the drug or whatever or the. Whatever it is, I mean, I don't feel right.
I feel like an addict should be talking about this. I don't feel right. I mean, I got issues. I'm not like a fucking addict, but. Or maybe I was just smart enough not to go down that trail, but. I yeah, that was the one. Because I think. Just knowing a few addicts and I lived with one. And I was just like, as these guys, are they addicts or they just some of the most selfish fucking people I ever met in my life.
Everything was about them and all of that shit. And then. Yeah, then that happened and I was like. It's like, well, he obviously didn't want that to happen. He obviously wanted to stop and he had all of this stuff. To live for and I feel like I'm talking bad about him, but no, no, no, no, because I wonder sometimes he had a beautiful wife, three beautiful kids. He was one of the best comics in the country.
He had it all ahead of them. And. Was taken out by addiction and like that was. Yeah, that was one that. Yeah, I just done that. I'll never forget the shock of that it was. It was. You know, I've had unfortunately, had a lot of friends die and there's always the. There's that initial like, did I just hear what you just said and then there's then there's like the tears, but with him it was like it was just I was in shock, you know.
I was in shock. Well, yeah, because then he hung on for a little bit. And. Yeah, that that's what that was that was just utter shock and then he was gone. And. I was angry. I kind of didn't go to tears with that one, I went to anger. Because I had a real bond with him as far as we were having very similar careers where we were road dog and. And everywhere we went.
You know, we would just do that New York, I was from Boston, we just did that thing. You bring the lumber, you kicked the shit out of them. You come back two years later at the same club, brand new act. And me and him were doing it and and we were saying, but we weren't getting anywhere. It's interesting both to be able to come back and then be the same fucking 70, 80 people, maybe a little bit more, and maybe had a couple more credits.
And both of you had sitcoms early on and then did the road like that's the one interesting thing is when I forgot my Will Smith deal, when I was like six months into comedy, the two people to pull me aside and talk to me about stand up for you and draw the two people who said anything to me about what I was going through, about getting early success for you and Giraldo and then the two people that did the road that I would be like there at the Hartford Funnybone also were you and Geraldo and I kind of like looked at your careers and I went, I know both of them are funny as fuck and they're not going to be on the wrong path.
So if I follow where they're going, I'll find my way somehow. And you're right, both of you had. But we can call it we used to call it killing in obscurity, because you go to these. These these comedy clubs, they were great clubs, but they weren't like a chain, you know, if you weren't doing like, you know, you started with the local person, then you try to move up to the funny bones in the improvs or whatever.
And then then there was the you know, there was like the punch lines and zanies that were up to me, you know. Right there, if not better than the interest and just because of their history, how long they had been there, so.
Yeah, we were both. And our minds kind of work the same, and what's funny, I think I've told this story before, is when MTV Cribs came out. We both did a bit on it. And it was ridiculous how similar it was, I think we both even said Britney Spears, I think we both said helicopter. Really? Yeah, I don't know what it was. And I remember I was at the cellar and I did it.
And he was standing there, you know, Greg was a cool fucking dude, man. Yeah, it was a tough time, too. We grew up in New York when New York was like Warriors'. And he was like, I used to fight all the time on subways coming home from school. And what I loved about him was he was a real sweetheart, but he hated bullies. And I used to see when someone was bullying somebody, you'd you'd see the bully like the flame coming in his eyes and like he'd become this subway.
Greg So I always respected that about him and. But anyway, so he can get off stage and then Greg says to me. He goes, he goes, I hate to do this, and I know he's going to got what I got, which joke? Because the MTV Cribs thing and Mike Foxx, he goes, it's almost verbatim. My God damn it, Simbo standing there. And we both just I made like a CD and he just did.
I don't know. I don't know. He we both done stuff and we needed the joke at that moment. Yeah. So we so we made a pact. We go, here's the deal. We'll just do it on the road deal and a deal so neither one of us do it said he. Of course time goes on.
There's a million things happen and we both forget. Yeah. So I get a half hour on Comedy Central and so does he and we both do the bit.
Shut the fuck up.
So then the funny thing was, was mine came out first. Oh. And then his came out and he called me up and we were laughing our asses off because in the early days of the Internet and they were just going in on Greg, you thievin piece of shit, you took it from that, that, that, that Brian Burgi that nobody knew me. I was so early in my career. You took it from that redheaded fucking guy. And we I know we were just.
We would just die and laughing and I did a I did a tour with him, I did this great tour that nobody went to just for laughs is huge in Canada.
Like if you're on the Just for laughs tour in Canada, I mean, you're playing, you know, amphitheatres. So they were trying to expand their brand and they crossed the Mason-Dixon line of us going into the US and nobody knew just for laughs.
Nor do they know the comics which work for them because just for laughs was the brand up that we went there do they've got a tour bus and we would playing in front of you know, we did the egg in Albany. And I remember being so excited to do the egg. I just remembered, like, who was it that I saw was there? Robert Schimmel rest his soul, one of my favorite comics. He was like, wow. And he goes on stage, he wears a suit, he plays the egg like sympathy's play there.
You know, your dreams are so little, you know, when you go when you're starting out.
So we were playing there, dude, and oh, my God, it looked like it looked like when we played there, it looked like the meeting before the show was going to happen, like the staff was sitting there and you're out there. There's going to be a lot of people here tonight just make sure you know. But it was the crowd. So but we hung out a lot and but we just he was just drinking beers then and. Like, I think.
It wasn't like something as far as I know, it wasn't something that he did for a long time and it just spun. Out of control. Really quickly, like he had like. Like, whatever that that that thing is, it just grew a head and a tail and just. You know, and he kept trying to wrestle it down to the ground and remember, he had a sponsor and he got that tattoo to say that he was going to be sober and everything.
And, yeah, to watch a guy like that lose that fight. I remember. That I had to totally you know, I was doing, you know, I was an asshole back then to like 10 years ago, I was. Really walled off, so just like the did, should you stop doing stupid fucking like I didn't know and then that was the one. You know, so I'll tell you, the mistake I made was I didn't go to the funeral because I had enough friends die.
And then my last vision of stupid fucking Catholic Church, they they've got their wake. So now all of my dead friends, I also my one of my I think the happy thought and then I pictured laying in the coffin, I'm like, why the fuck did they do that? To me? It's like, I don't want to think of Greg like that. I'm done going into these fucking things. So I didn't go and I learned that you need to go because you have to have that closure and go through that pain.
You need to do it because for years I just felt I knew he was gone. But it also felt like he was just on the road. We just kept missing each other. So I was like. All right, well, that's the life lesson I've learned a zillion times or so, so this is painful. I'm going to avoid it and it's going to go away now. It's just going to be sitting right over there fucking with your life.
So but I still miss that guy terribly. Like he was like. I think we really were good for each other, like pushed each other. It was weird because we didn't hang out that much. We hung out a lot at the cellar. But we we had sort of this thing. I had that with Gaffigan, too. Gaffigan came to New York the same time I did, and we did this fucking improv. When when Bud Freeman's wife had it and she owned the name and it was like it was in the back of a restaurant, she had like this penlight, when I click the penlight and it's just like.
And it was like, yeah, me, Greg and Jim Gaffigan had this thing where. Everyone was saying, like, man, you guys got really great jokes, you guys are really smart. You're one of the funniest guys I've seen. You've done this and blah, blah, blah.
But we weren't seeing results. And then there was all these. Like, I'm the guy who was this silly, had all the time. And I say, you know, I say my catch phrase and they were just blowing past us, so.
You know, we talked a lot through the years to keep us. On the road of like, no, no, no, this is going to pay off, and then I had that classic thing where Dave Chappelle, you know, I didn't know he was watching my set. Thank God I would have bombed him at that point in my career when he got off stage and he said that thing I never forgot to say. He was like, man, he goes, Your angle is so fucking dope, I'll never forget that.
And he goes.
He said it's going to but it's going to take you longer to get there, but when you do, you're going to hit really hard. And dude, I fucking hung on to that. I hung on to that. Where were you? Yeah, he was on the cellar and he was sitting on the stairs and it was. Like, oh, three or four, maybe. Now, ahead of you, maybe, I think it was before that, it was before that was before that because I hadn't even done the Chappelle's Show, which is where I really got to know him.
And that was 2004 was when you did Chappelle. It was before that it was like, oh, three, Georgia, Georgia, my oldest was born in 2004 and I remember watching Chappelle's Show when she was a baby, Chappelle's Show and tough guy was what I did every time we taped it in 03. So all was probably it was probably like, oh, one world.
You know what? I just where I have this weird thing where I can just remember, just like World Trade Centers were still up. There wasn't that New York is like this, like before there's like pre Giuliani, there's Giuliani, New York, and then post 9/11, there's post 9/11. And then there's Wolf, New York, as far as my experience being. In my time in New York, I mean, I wasn't there pre Giuliani, but like I got there, Giuliani got in in 94 and I got there in 95.
I think that's how it went. And then, like a couple of years in, I'll never forget when they brought that giant Winnebago police truck and just parked it in Washington Square Park. And they were just there. Yeah, harassing and annoying all of those people that used to harass and annoy us, all the drug dealers and the shifty people and all of that and smoke pushed them all out.
And then years later, Rick Moranis gets sucker punched.
That's what happens. Perfect. Go, go, go. Burbled Full circle. Perfect full circle. Well, did I have to? Liane's been texting me nonstop while I've been in this podcast. Did you get her gift basket? No, I'm going I'm going to get it today. OK, I'm going to get it to you. She came up with gift bags for everyone and they're pretty fucking great. You're going to love the snacks in there.
And oh, by the way, I saw I saw your your the that great billboard.
It's on the. Labrecque and Hollywood Boulevard, I was driving by, I just saw you shirtless with the cigar. Oh yeah, in the back of my back.
Oh yeah, that's right. And we should probably do a read of the very beginning of this podcast. Let everyone know my series, the cabinet screaming right now on Netflix, but not a good buzz, dude. Like I keep hearing about it. Yeah, it's good. I think people like it. I think the one thing that's positive about it is it is just comics on there being fucking hilarious. It's Donelle. Jeudy is probably Tom Suara fortunes on their own and on there.
It's it's just comics. Nikki Glaser and Anthony Anderson. Deong called Big Jakobsson and it's just comics being despite being fucking hilarious. That's all it is. And so I think people love it or like it. Let me rephrase that. I think people like it because it's a it's just the same way they like podcasts. It's just comics being themselves. So. So, yeah, it's been I'm really happy. Netflix, I'm happy. Netflix is happy, I think.
And and, you know, it's. Good deal. Yeah, the deal, I think you're in it, yeah, yeah, I did something in that. I know I did. Yeah. You, Gabe, you and Gabe kind of help me clean it up. At the end of doing secret time. We had some we had some loose ends post covid and and we needed some people to kind of connect tissue. So we got you gave my daughters, my wife.
I mean, everyone, my dad, Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner came on Caitlyn Jenner's and show you, wow, that was pretty. So it's I'm really glad you never know know I'm sure you feel like this with the F is for family, but. If you put a lot of work in it, but you don't put as much work as you do into your up, but you notice that everyone else is putting as much work in their jobs as you would your stand up.
And so, in a weird way, you're like, God damn it, man, I hope this goes well so that everyone feels good about it. But clearly, you're not like I'm sure you would say this, but when you do have a family. It's not just you that's doing it, so for you to take credit for as for family being great, you're like, well, there's a lot of people that go into it. Yes, it's killing people over there.
Yeah, but I worked my ass off on that thing for the first three seasons to get it going. Yeah. And then, like last season, you know, at that point I was a dad and now I got two kids and it's just like my time. I have to compartmentalize it. So we sort of developed a new way of me working with the scripts and the sports. And then then he got covid and all that stuff.
So, you know, I feel that way about this is that I put I put my entire January this this year was spent. Just going to this cabin every day, going to this cabin and shooting and and I think there were weird hiccups that happened that made me put a lot of energy into it. So I wanted to do well and I want people to like it. And I want you know, I want it to be received well. I want I want everyone to enjoy it.
But at the same time, I feel like, you know, I see the post from the fucking stylist to the hairdresser, hairstylist and the stylist. I can see, like the people that worked on it on Instagram and still posting and they're really proud of it. You're like, oh, fuck, yeah. You forget they busted their ass just as hard as I busted my ass like. So I don't know.
I want everyone like, oh, that's their job is harder because they don't get they don't get. You get the applause that you get the billboard.
Yeah. All that stuff. So that's why, that's why you cannot you can't be a jerk on these things. I don't understand why people do that. All right. Well, it's a good place to wrap up. So happy for you with the cabin they are streaming now on Netflix.
And Bill, an amazing, amazing weekend that was.
I enjoyed the hell out of it and hearing that comedians liked it in that they they it was I don't know. I still can't believe it happened. My head was is still spinning like tonight. I just feel like I can just kind of cruise right. Season five or punch up season five. The writers are doing it and then, you know, then it's Christmas. I got a pumpkin today to make some pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, something for Halloween.
Well, I am back out on the road. I taped a bunch of football.
I'm halfway through the Chargers Saints. I know what happens. But like, I watched the Buffalo Bills game yesterday, what I do is on Sunday, I watched like two games as much as I can. And then I tape like another four, because then I got the Monday night game and then I got I got Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I can watch an NFL game. Saturday I have college football and then it starts over again. It's fucking great God.
Well, I heard I heard back on the road tomorrow I'm going back to Texas and then through St. Louis. Cleveland, Illinois. You don't say, you don't say. I was talking to somebody about, you know, doing some more dates, and that state may or may not have come up really?
Yeah. Yeah, they got some great venues, man. Well, I just burned a bunch of material even as much as it was seven minutes. Those were some big chunks. Yeah, it's funny because that white woman thing went on way longer and I said a lot more crazy shit, but it had way more impact than if I did it. If I did it on a special people that knew me, would have saw it, would have liked it.
But I don't think that I would have got all that other stuff. So I'm kind of good with it. So let's wrap this up. Yes, yes, yes. I got the kudos here. All right.
That said, everybody, thank you for enjoying another wonderful episode of the Bill Burton podcast.
Sorry, pun. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Watch the cat.