Hey, what's going on, everybody, it is time for another wonderful episode of the film Pod Cast.
With us today is just one of my favorite people in this business.
Great friend, love him to death, a brand ambassador for cool brand new best knows all the high end, all the custommade, anything you want. This guy knows about AC. DC knows that when they have an album coming out, they go on to the Let There Be Talk podcast to interview Brian Johnson and Angus Young, Phil Rudd and Cliff Williams for different interviews. AC DC fans went nuts and it all came about because he does the Bond Scott tribute.
Please welcome to the podcast The Living L.A. legend. Mr El Ray. What's going on? What's the best? What's it going to take for you to give up on it on Ladine? Oh, that's a that's a funny thing, because, you know, people just keep coming, you're going to fucking move, right? You're going to move. And it's like, no, I mean, the only reason I would move is if I could buy something, but it would be like up the street or something like that, you know?
But I mean, the more people the move, the better for me.
Just get where people are going. It's like you're still in the United States. Yeah. It's like we're all in this together. You can't just be like, well, California's fucked. It's just we're all kind of. Yeah, open enough.
People leave that like, you know, it's, you know, how it is like around the holidays and everybody goes back east and they go home and you can actually drive around, cruise around. I hope it gets like that.
I hope it gets like that. So the business is like, well, there's no one here. So I guess we got to call Dean. Yeah, you know what I mean.
When did you first come to you first came to L.A. as a musician?
Yeah, when I was thirty five.
So I'm about to be fifty five next month when you're thirty five. Yeah. Yeah really. Where were you before that. I grew up in the Bay Area.
I was in San Francisco. I moved from San Francisco to L.A. at thirty five.
But I thought you were younger for some reason.
Oh no. I'm going to be fifty five February 3rd and that's something I didn't know you weren't supposed to say in the comedy world.
You'd tell your to say my age. So do I.
I watched, I watched someone lie about their age one time and they'd lie about their age in front of me and say they were younger than me. And I was like, the fuck motherfucker, you're two years older than me.
Well, I always tell everybody my age to hopefully inspire them, you know what I mean? In a positive way of like, holy shit, that guy did it. Maybe it's not too late. That's how I look at it, you know. That is an interesting way to say that because you didn't start standup until you were, what, 40 for, 40 for. Yeah, and you've accomplished more in those nine years, 11 years, 11 years than the majority of people have in 20 well, four thousand seven hundred and sixty seven spots.
I think it's going to get you somewhere.
Oh, I love that you're still counting. How do you remember? I just put them after I step off stage, I put them right into my phone. I made the deadly mistake before when I first started of putting the spot in right before I went on. And then the power went out at the club and I didn't get the spot. And I never do that again. So I wait till I'm done with the spot and then I put it into the phone.
That's fucking hilarious. That is an attention to detail. Hey, dude, you got. You actually said something, right? I know you're like your interest spans all the way through art and that right through into, like, architecture. And this guy sends me. But these pictures are like desert homes or like craftsmen.
It's like all modern on the beach in the woods, like just runs the gamut of every to everything from like a Bill Gates style house to hey, man, look at this really cool first home. I love to get in on this thing. And right before this podcast you mentioned, what did you hear happened in New York?
There's a power couple and I love fall on the markets. So they bought a fifty million dollar penthouse for fourteen million. That's what kind of market's going on right there. And I just looked at the place. It was fucking mind boggling. It was on E 11. It's insane. So the market in New York is pretty weird right now for sure.
Why the hell would somebody everyone in markets like this? What was that, Bill, why would somebody sell during this market? I can tell you have a small business, and yet you need the money, but if you have a 50 million dollar apartment, I would think that you can ride this thing out. Maybe not, though, you know, I think there's a lot of people that bailed on the way, they bailed on L.A., they bailed on New York City out to go out to the country or the Hamptons or whatever, to get away from the the animals with the covid, you know, and maybe I mean, it sat on the market, they said for a few years, and it went down to like 20 million and then went down.
But they were asking what was it? They said they were asking 16 million and they offered 14 and got it. Can you imagine? I don't get it, like, why why would somebody. I mean, what did they buy it for? They took a bath to that level. Now they say what they need is for. They didn't say what they paid for it, which is weird, but it was thirty six million dollars off and that's really wild.
It's it's monstrous.
You've got to buy it for 13 for 14 million. I'm looking to because you can get Zello it. Yeah, you're right. But a lot of Zillo. I have some dude, I'm on zero right now, people are going that fucking comes on the same fucking funny, get them off. But you know, I love architecture, I love it. It's an obsession of mine. And so I'm on Zillow. Yesterday, I saw a place in Milwaukee for three hundred and fifty seven thousand.
That's a Frank Lloyd Wright. So I'm like, well, maybe I would live in Milwaukee because to me now it's getting down to the house that I like at coming up. I'm fifty five years old and Kaukonen said, a great thing goes, all I need is an airport. So I'm like, yeah. And TEC nine said, great on my podcast. TEC nine said with Zoom in the Internet, I'm everywhere. And I was like, Yeah, you're right there too.
You know, I throw this fucking this Joshua tree back ground up and I'm out there right now. Yeah, you're in the desert.
It is really I wonder how that's going to affect one. You know, I was really looking forward to January, dude. I thought the antidote was there. The vaccine was going to come on. Everybody was going to get it. And like, what the fuck is going on?
I keep hearing rumblings of 20, 22, and I've been hearing that for three months now from like people that are way in the business, you know, but they're not way in the government, so they don't know what the fuck that talk.
No, I'm saying as far as entertainment, you know, like going out and working, you know, like.
I mean, here you I hear you. I am convinced with this I'm obsessed with this right now, OK, what happened? Our couple, I mean. So Leonardo DiCaprio used to live in this place. Oh, he did? Yeah.
What makes you a power couple?
The amount of money, a lot of money you got, but I think you had a lot of money and then you also don't pay attention to your kids.
So I think it's when I think I could win the prize in a man, what I think is when the woman makes the same amount as the man and becomes a power couple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what it is. I'm looking at them. They don't look too powerful to me. The people who bought it. No, I don't look at them and see power. I just see OK, they got some shiny clothes.
Yeah. Bad hair on bottom.
That's it's an unfortunate she's got to I'm not going to say he's got gray hair from where I'm sitting. He's got great here. She's fucking she is hot.
She can. Here's the problem as I see women. Are we talking about this couple because she's a good looking woman. She's a good looking woman, and then you look at a woman like that, you're like, I'm always shocked. OK, here we go. I got the address. This couple, he looks like he knows what a great woman she is. He's got that look in his eye. He looks happy. She's wearing red. He's wearing blue Democrat, but a Republican member of the Bloods and Crips.
OK, listen, a bird over there, like he's looking at porn.
He's all who. I'm Zillo. I'm still a porn tax history. I get that out of my head. But that t shirt on top 16. It sold for eight million. Oh, it's sold you 12, 14, it sold for 10 million. And what I think they must have done a ton of work on it. Have you seen the pictures of this place? It's it's insane.
You see the staircase, gorgeous. It is. What about these gorgeous day, dude?
All people care about is how many square footage. I'm not paying this much more for a foot. So that's why that's why the people who flip shit will go down to Home Depot. You get that fucking bullshit and just put it in there, because as long as you got the square footage in the location, you can charge top dollar.
Yeah, also because I'm and not I'm not this is not I don't want to sound like I'm fucking noble or anything.
Come on, Bird. I love when you sound noble. When this on a white horse won this pandemic started. I thought it was the first time I said, hey man, you really never know. Like you get to a place where you think you're making money and you go and you go. I can afford to take some chances financially. And then this started and I was like I had taken chances. I had bought property thinking we'd rebuild. And all of a sudden they're like, hey, man, you may not work for a year.
And I thought, what the fuck? At the end of the day, this little shit house that we're staying that we live in, that we've lived in for nine years, all you really need is a roof over your head. Do you need it to be fourteen million dollars, or is it better to have, you know, maybe five million dollar house and then make sure you can take care of your family? When a pandemic shows up, you rent.
You rent that place. Yeah.
Got to say look at I'm in a hot tub and fucking cool. Look at me. I mean it was like sort of balcony leave.
When the pipes break, you look at me leaving, I'm out of here because you're going to buy that thing and still at the exact same fights with your wife you would have had in the shit box house.
Now, you know, I go I got a two bedroom, two bath. That's the dream for me. And out one one for the podcast studio and one to sleep in. And people are. Well, what about when people visit? No one visits, no one visits ever. No one visits anyone when you get past 40. Yeah, they can tell it's like getting picked up at the airport. All right, yeah, it's get a ride.
You're an adult.
It's like that bit I'm done by the people with no headboards fucking houses in the Hollywood Hills with the views from downtown L.A. out to the ocean. I always picture the couple arguing with that in the background.
What about your mother, huh? She fucking comes over here. Yeah. Yeah. I think it breaks all over the golden elevator. Right. I clean that up. I didn't say anything, did I?
That's their arguing for shooting stars are going by.
I'm sure you're still going to have the same stupid fucking. But I swear to God you don't be great if you could just stay in the pocket. And as she's yelling at you, if that shit's in the background, you just got really. You said they're looking at it enough, but not enough. What do you need the space shuttle to fucking was the house. Yeah. Oh, look at this. This shows.
Oh, man. That reminds me of that Tiger Woods documentary I was watching that, you know.
Oh, don't get me started. Don't get me started. DMN OK, I won't. I won't. Oh no, no, let's do it. I fucking am obsessed with Tiger Woods. Oh yeah. I love Tiger Woods. I love him. I always love.
You're not going to like this documentary then Bill. Now it's pretty dark this documentary. It's not kind, it's real time. It's the opposite. I'm going to see a documentary, not a takedown piece.
It's not a takedown piece. It's just the the truth of becoming a superstar.
What a tale. I see a documentary about the truth, being a superstar. Not kidding. You know what I mean?
Yeah. You know, it's like it's like the Jackson five. You know, there's a Joe Jackson in the background, you know.
Well, let me ask you this. Are they understanding towards him or no? Yeah, yeah, understanding towards Tiger, not understanding towards Earl, I would say.
Right, exactly. Exactly.
Knowing that's stupid because you don't know what happened to him, Earl, yada, yada, yada, yada. He went to Vietnam. He was an explosives specialist. So they drop him off behind enemy lines. He would then blow shit up, get back in the chopper and leave. And you're going to say, I look, Dean, correct me if I'm wrong, but maybe I don't need to know all. Maybe I don't think a guy that's lived that rough of a life and being African-American in the fucking 60s and 50s, maybe it's not fair to shine such a bright light on his shortcomings as a father or a husband.
Maybe you can just say he was Tiger Woods, his dad, and he had he drank a lot and he got cancer, you know. Can I ask you a question, sir? Was Tiger Woods involved in this? No, not in the documentary, no, no, they're saying that whatever is dead is passed.
Yeah. So who do they interview to get all of this dirt on this guy?
His best friend and a guy that he golfed with every best friend is shitting all over him saying he's not a good father. Wow. It's pretty brutal. Pretty brutal.
Well, I wouldn't say that they're different. Have you ever noticed this? Whenever they do A-levels e true Hollywood stories, they go to Chris Farley, true Hollywood stories. You never see Sandler. You don't see Rock. You don't see Davis, but you don't see his friends.
Well, you start you see a couple of people that were like 40 fucking rings away from him.
And then they'll have a talking head and then they'll just have the talking head go. And then after SNL, he went on to a movie career. At first it went well with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right.
And just that connective tissue, they can never get like like that's my thing. It's like if I'm going to see a documentary on somebody, I better see their husband or wife in it. They're close friends. Like if they if there's going to be a documentary about Nirvana. And Dave Grohl is not in it. And the base. So, yeah, if they're not in it, then I don't want to see it. Now, because what you're going to get is a bunch of hangers-on.
Who trying to hang onto the band didn't work out, so now what they're going to try to do? Oh, I was fucking their man. He was very volatile, very volatile guy. And just trying you now you just trying to say shit. So they use you in the edit. Yeah.
I love Tigerman. I love you to the story. I think the greatest part of the story is him just blowing out the fucking racist people of the Masters and all those golf courses where black people weren't allowed.
I just fucking love that. I just see you later.
You know, there hasn't been a guy that dominant, like they literally had to change the rules of the game. They had to change the length of the fair way. Everybody had to up their game. I mean, it was like some fucking Wilt Chamberlain shit. Oh, yeah. Like another one in him is like. Because it's not only you got to win as many as he did, right, you have to like like the game fucking changed, like changed the game.
That's the thing. Like, I don't know. So many sports fans just don't understand the difference between being great and actually changing the game. Mind boggling. Lawrence Taylor Malmberg lately changed the position of being a linebacker before he came along. There was nobody like that guy. Now there's been Hall of Fame linebackers, you know, and then there's him.
So the Beatles, it's like the Beatles, three albums a year, and you're going to like what has it's even possible what these guys are doing, these record after record after record with crazy, crazy next level recording processes and and the hookey is songs ever.
And they're all playing their instruments and each one's writing tunes just having this.
So how about this? They were essentially a boy band. Exactly. Composed to last for like a summer and a half. Yeah. He took control of their own shit, started their own label. Did everything that they did in my favorite thing is listening to people under 35 trying to tell me they're overrated. It's like, all right, well, their music came out 50, 60 years ago. If you're going to say it doesn't hold up to today stuff, I get that.
But they are their place in history is not overrated. No, it's just so much time has gone by that, you know, I kind of fell a little bit of that one time. Remember this young comic? I was showing him a Richard Pryor clip. And they kind of like, you know, I mean, it was funny, it was just like, well, you're also watching it 40 years after he did it and everybody ripped them off.
So now it looks like he's ripping off the people that you saw that were ripping him off. Well, they've seen that style done so much that they don't see how groundbreaking it was, you know, they see that at open mikes guys doing that style, the cadence and the rhythm and all that. They have no idea that nobody was doing that before him. Is it Tiger Woods, the Tiger Woods doc was frustrating to me because they had all the hindsight.
To kind of criticize anything he ever said in interviews also, which was a little frustrating because like they asked him one time in an interview, your dad says you're going to be bigger than Ghandhi billion. The next one's bigger than Jesus, next messiah. And he goes, you know, that's a father talking. That's a father's love for a son. And then they criticized it the way he downplayed it. He's downplay it. And you're like, what the fuck was he supposed to do?
Go. Yeah, he's right, man. You're going to be shocked. Like, I'm going to be like, you would hate that guy. You'd call him Deon Sanders. That's what Deon Sanders did. And fucking they lambasted that motherfucker. And I. I really I'm glad you brought that up because I sat. I didn't know if I was the only one, but I watched it on the treadmill, I watched the whole thing on the treadmill jogging inspired, by the way.
Oh, yeah. Tiger Woods is golf is inspiring. He what you're talking about, because he played against Phil Mickelson in the Masters in the final round and Phil and he wanted to humiliate Phil Mickelson. That was that's mindset going on. It's not enough that I beat him. It's that I beat him and I let him know that I beat him and I'm barely doing it.
He built Phil Mickelson being a you tell the story. I want to hear you tell the story about that drive that Tiger was talking about.
Well, first of all, his mom called, had a rude name for Phil. What was it? It was like fatty or something.
They used to call Phil Mickelson lefty and his mom called him Hefti.
Yeah, Hefti. So he felt so good about their sweat, he used to get the man sweat.
And to be fair, Phil Mickelson, six years older than Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, set every record in California, every record in California. So Phil was like Tiger's you know, the way Tiger's brain works is I got to beat the motherfucker they say I can't beat. Right. So, yeah, that's why I always wanted to go on at the Comedy Store after, like, Bill or or Marinaro. And when people are I don't want to go out, I go I definitely want to go on now because either I bomb and they go.
I went on after birth or you did great. They got fucked. He went on after birth. So it's a it's a it's a it's a fucking win win. But yeah. So he gets up there, Phil gets the one word out and it's like the trick, the hardest fucking drive of the whole masters. And then Tiger goes up there with a three and and smashes it past him. And Phil goes, yeah, I mean you used three.
That was pretty far. And he goes, yeah, he goes further like just fucking with him the whole time, man. Oh fuck that.
But I don't think, you know, first of all, like, if you go do a documentary on Tiger Woods at this point and you just going to criticize the guy again, it's like, didn't we already did that. Yeah, that's already been done.
We got it. We got it. He's nicer. We get it. We get it.
And it's just like, at what point are you going to let the guy up off the mat? It cost him his marriage and all of that shit.
Like what is more to me and to me, it's more about the show you what it takes to become a legend. Not not great. I'm talking legend. Let's you know that. Nah, man, he didn't play video games and smoke weed. This fucking guy played golf 24/7 and he was going to be a legend. And that's where it shows you it shows you what you have to give up in life to become a legend.
Women, he showed up. He showed up early for for to surprise his girlfriend and didn't tell his parents a day early for vacation. Oh, yeah. He didn't tell his parents. His dad was like, you break up with that cunt today. Now, you wrote her a letter, Bill, that you said you're not good for me. I'm better than this. I apologize. It's over. Best of luck in life. Tiger Woods crazy.
They were like a couple for, like two years. What happened? OK, so he has a high school girlfriend. OK, they fall in love. He goes to college and he's he's in college and he comes home for Christmas break. And he doesn't tell his dad. He comes home a day early so he can see her first. The dad finds out and the mom, they go ballistic. They're like, this woman is going to ruin the golf career, get rid of him now.
Get rid of her now or you're out of here. They basically say we're throwing you out of the house. So he writes a letter, sorry, I've got to play golf. You're not good for me. It was crazy that our poor guy is probably crying as he wrote it. I know. I know. I would have gotten along with it.
I don't need to know these stories. I just want to enjoy the greatness. I don't want to know this stuff. And then what I don't like is his dad's not around the interview his mom did. She admitted with this, what the fuck is this?
What we're TV is Cadie. Yeah, he's great. Yeah. And he does good. He does get the Gafoor and I've seen that with when people become famous, not Tiger. But you know, the people don't talk to the other people anymore that they used to roll with in the comedy.
This music can make dumb ass move. You can make totally totally. You do the entourage thing. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, speaking of people in the business, what we got, we got to bring up Jeff Scatman.
Oh, man. Passed away unfortunately, man. Just pterosaur, like a ton of bricks. This guy's a piano player at the Comedy Store since about ninety five. Ninety six. And you know, I talked about our an Instagram, how much that guy used to egg me on when I was on stage. You might have times I was on stage. And only a few people were laughing, but he was dying, laughing, I would always look over at him and he would just have this look on his face that that I don't know what it was.
That look on his face just made me go. And I got to go further, you know. Because of that kind, the comedy thing like, oh, I got this guy, I'm really chilling with this guy, I need to go for that, too. I eat a lot of bits that, like, got way better. Because I was just trying to make him laugh because I was bored on stage and I was sick of my act and I would just say stupid shit whenever I used to go on stage, I would always as I was walking up, I would look over to see who was playing.
And if he was playing, he would always look at me and I would shake my head and he would throw his head back and you just start laughing. And I would go on stage and I would always scat sing with whatever he was playing with that really bad and say something, you know, a couple of curse words to end it. And he would start laughing. And it just I don't know if that guy was such a part of the magic of the original room.
He really was.
I can't I just can't imagine I'm going to go back and. No, no, no. Jeff. Yeah. Who does not have. Yeah, well, you know, I released the podcast I did with him seven and a half years ago, I rereleased it yesterday, I had Jeff on and his story is just so good because if you think about it, he moved to L.A. and was basically a working musician for twenty five years. He was in the biz as a work.
I mean, nobody's a working musician, barely, you know, Sky like all of us.
He got away with murder. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He did what he loved. He got to play piano. He got to sit there and and watch the best comics of the last quarter century and probably be beyond because he probably saw the guys from the eighties that were still coming down when he first started. And then he used to get to go out back, which I didn't know is called sacred ground. I never even heard of that where we all smoke.
And he went out, you know, take a couple hits, a weed, you know, watch some comedy, shoot the shit. I that guy I used to he was just I don't know, all the crazy talk down there him I always had just. LEVEL-HEADED How's it going talk. What's going on with you. I mean, like what do you think about this bit. And he would laugh I think trying this he was just such a.
It's such a good guy that I'm really, really, really going to miss him. I loved when he would give you the piece of paper when someone was popping in. So you getting ready?
All right. That's my time right now. Coming up. Hold on, Dean. We've got a pop in. Oh, and it handed a piece of paper. So one time he didn't have the paper. There was no paper. So he came over and whispered to me, and I've got shit rock and roll ears. And I thought he said, Chris Farley. All right. And so I thought he was just fucking with me.
He goes, It's Chris. And I go, Oh, all right, get out of here, you idiot. And I walk back.
No, no, no, no. For real. And I go, What are you talking about? And then I looked about two feet away, it was Chris Rock. So that's how I got to bring up Chris Rock my first time ever. But I thought he was fucking with me. Like Chris Farley. Like he was just playing games with me, man. I was I almost said, hey, guys, Chris Farley coming up right now.
That would have been a nightmare for Chris Rock back back from the dead, because by the time you started, Chris was gone, right?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. This was like a year ago, you know, two or three years ago when he was doing the Academy Award stuff. That's when it was.
Did you guys see that fucking clip on on Chris Rock's great great him in Charleston and our tells that story of when Eddie and Richard met. I love it in those pictures.
Oh, my God, the young lion looking at the young lion, the old lion looking at the young lion coming up, man is fucking crazy.
I love that. I love that. So down there, that wonderful comedy club that I don't know when it's 20, 22, that's what the people say. Twenty two I do.
I've actually gotten so used to just watching sports without a crowd. Now it's not even weird anymore. It's not even weird, and I actually kind of, in a weird way, enjoy, especially with basketball. Like you remember every time like that, when Toronto Raptors made their run, it's like a couple of years before they finally got it every five seconds, they were cutting that guy there who does the rap singing thing. Dang, Greg. They kept cutting the him, it's like, I get it, he's there and the thing was, was the other guy was the fun guy.
The other dude there, they had the the Arab guy there who went to every single home game, every single away game, he was like the biggest fan. Way back when they first started. When they sucked. And then Drake came in with, you know, like sixty eight number one hits or something, and then he became more of the story. They kind of stole the guy's thunder a little bit.
At least we don't get the tomahawk chop anymore. That's the fucking bear.
Just oh, I believe I saw Djokovic 20 years ago.
But I'd be like if the Nazis won and then they're going, oh, eBay.
Oh, by the way, just for the record, full disclosure, I to do this for seven years straight. Oh, it's you know what you know, it's interesting.
Florida State has I think I'm right on this because they never did that.
That's from white guys with rouge on their face pretending to be Native Americans in early Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah.
Doing this. Oh, well, that dropped doughnut.
The donut. That's all. That's all white people in Hollywood. Yeah.
Real like that drumbeat isn't a Native American does. My brother went on a tour down the reservation one time and he goes Native Americans.
He goes we play drums like this that way that it goes, but we definitely do not play a drum like this. And he goes, I died laughing. I'll stand up comedy just for some reason.
Picked one bass line from one porno. Yeah. And then just became more manpower. Whoever came up at first.
Yeah. I don't know if that was ever even in a porno and then that just became like a truth. Yeah, yeah, it's like Sanford and Son turned porno, but they were why they just slowed it down like that. Well, you know, that was Quincy Jones.
It did that. Quincy Jones. Yeah. Really? Yeah. What a great song.
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Yeah. If you had to get a cool guy starter kit, right, yeah, you have to lock in a great pair of shoes. Yeah, great motorcycle. Yeah, good leather jacket. He's already making the list.
I need a nice I maybe maybe we put a watch in there or something like a good like a cool guy.
Oh yeah. Oh you keep talking, you don't walk me through what we buy because I think this is I'm, I'm always looking for something like boots are too easy. This is too easy. Do it for Burt. Yeah. Once you know about Burt. OK. Yeah.
OK, here, here. I'm going to do a makeover for Burt. OK, ok. So first of all, since I know you got a little money but you might not well you already got a gold Rolex and you got that from your dad. That was one of the first things that talked to you, right?
Yeah. How did you know that? Do we talk about that?
When I first met you, I said, oh, cool date, just you and. Oh, yeah. You know this thing.
Yeah, I know that what I got from my dad, my dad gave it to me.
I remember that ten years ago, the court that from the other side of the fucking parking lot.
Yeah. Like shit like that, you know. So we're not going to go Rolex with you. And you're one of the few people I think that can get away with the gold one without fans going, like, look at this rich dick with his gold fucking you know, I love gold Rolex, especially submariners. I think they're fantastic.
But with you, a watch I would do would be a Omega Speed Master, which is the first watch on the moon the astronauts wore. It's fantastic. It's got a history.
Oh, that's a good looking watch. Look at that. That's it right there. Oh, that is that hastag was all right.
You just up this. No. Yeah, I like it. All right. Well, then we got to get you out of the hoodie and stuff and we go leather jacket, but we're not going to go biker jacket on you because you don't ride. And that would look dumb.
You know, I can ride, but. Yeah, but keep going. I like where you're going, but. Oh, but you said you did want a motorcycle.
I got a motorcycle. I wouldn't mind a riders jacket.
Oh, you got to keep going then. If you're going to get you want one of the best rider jackets, you could probably get a language out of Portland.
They're a family. They've been there since, I don't know, the 30s or 40s or something.
Same family, all of this shit up. Now, I'm looking this up to Langlands Leather's in Portland, Oregon. Handmaid, you go in, they measure you up and it's your jacket for life. And you can let's. Yeah, you can pick the color, the style. Wow.
Jesus, this place is legit. Oh, it's the best. It is the best for you now for four year. Right. Because you want to get measured up, you don't want to get something off the you know, you could go to shot which has got great great jackets in their family owned also and been around since they've invented the motorcycle jacket. But you want to get something measured up. So it's you.
I like this. I like this sidewinder right here. It looks good.
That is the first jacket I wore at the Comedy Store. So now that's where Rodney big Rowdy Piper got his jacket made, and when we first met, I got a sweet Langlands and he goes, holy shit, you know this? I go, Yeah, I got one. And he goes, Oh, I love this jacket. And Piper wore that jacket. His the history of of his life, man. I think he got buried in that jacket.
This amazing thing here is just listen to that story. That's how he struck up a conversation with Bert. That's how he struck up a conversation with Raddy Rowdy Roddy Piper. I remember when you met Jim Florentine. He has got that metal show and he goes on a big AC DC fan. And Jim was just like, OK. And then he lifts up his shirt with a tattoo of Bon Scott. And he was just like, hey, who the fuck is this guy?
Right. All right. So we got we got him the jacket, the motorcycle. OK, now we got to get him the bike now. So hang on, by the way.
Hold on. I also and this is just for motorcycle riders. Yeah. Throw in this set of gloves, too, that you think are really hot motorcycle gloves. I have I have a pair of motor stuck gloves that are really fucking amazing looking gloves.
But throw me in a pair of gloves too because I go, I go Oreste Roeland sans gloves. He's out there in Long Beach and he has the dope gloves that look like the old motocross gloves with the rubber on the top. I don't know if you'll find them, but he makes some of the best gloves. I had the red, white and blue ones when I went down. Stuff like that man is gloves are great. They bend in everything, but they also look cool.
They don't look like big old goofy gloves.
They look like something that's in the back pocket.
When you walk on the stage, you know, oh, you want clubs in the back pocket is such a good look. It is a good little back pocket is such a fucking hot look. It's the best.
You put them in your bag and you walk on stage. You're like, I just wrote in to do set number 7000. All right.
Now you got to go motorcycle here.
All right. The good one. All right. So I think for you.
Yes. And this is a great, great bike, it's the BMW are nine. And it is fucking cool and it's not the standard bike everyone rides. Defining it. No, I got it. Oh, yeah, that is a gorgeous bike. Now, that bike is fantastic. And they make it with kind of the old Paul Smart Ferrin and everything, so it looks classic. But you're not Bert the Harley guy, because even though you kind of look like a Harley guy, you don't want to be that guy.
You want to be kind of unique. So you've got the Omega, you got the rolling sans gloves, you got the language, you got the BMW are nine and then you've got some Brian the bootmaker boots, which we all wear.
I'm definitely buying the fucking boots, fast boots on the planet.
Bill has a pair. I got a few pairs. Marin's got them. And you go over there downtown and he measures up your foot and that boot fits your foot for life. What's his name? Brian. The Bootmaker. Yeah. Yeah, 25 year old kid. He's a cobbler and he's fantastic.
Where do I find them, downtown? Oh, he's on Instagram. Did you see what he just did, Bird Ryan the pubic hairs that roll club. That's it. That's it. I'm following him right now. Yeah.
I tell him, I say this guy can make a fuckin look at these fuckin boots.
I got that parents called the underdog. It's the best boot made right now.
I wonder if I could go in with a boot idea 100 percent.
I mean, Dean, I got an idea. You're going to be like. The thing about you, as far as being like a stylist, which you could be for somebody, is how cool you just made it was you didn't go to the leather jacket place that everybody goes to show to whatever. You didn't get them the Harley, you didn't go fucking like because a lot of these guys, when they do that, they get money. All of a sudden they look like they're in like a bee movie.
Yeah, it's just like, OK, we got all, like, the fucking well, it's like I always say, the stylist.
You know, when I see a band and they got the wallet chain, I'm like, No one does the wallet chain. The stylist did them wrong, you know, while the chain on you then we're going to do an eagle shirt on you and this guy over here, you know, it's like you got to look, there's great shit out there and you gotta tell me there's bands that they dress them all as an ensemble.
I understand they all dress the same, but like, they don't pick out their own clothes. Not a lot of bands.
Like if they're from like, say, like Tennessee and they don't know they bring in a stylist.
It's crazy. You can tell by the photo because the brands there, when I'm like, this is a fucking stylist right here, Prothese, I've seen it a million times and I can look at a promo shot, know somebody was the stylist on that show.
Why would somebody do that? Because I would think you would take what made them unique. Like if they're from Knoxville, they should have like a Knoxville's sort of vibe.
And if you're just going to make it look like they just went down to the the Nashville store on Sunset or some shit, you know, out here in L.A., they do it because the record company people think they know what sells and they don't know they're following something that happened three trends before. By the time that like, here's a perfect example to start creating or they're creating it like this work.
So everybody is going to dress like this till we burn this out. You don't give a fuck about the longevity of anybody's career.
Well, I don't think they're creating it. I don't think they have that kind of odd, because for me to tell Bert exactly what he would be great with was a lifelong experience of wearing and writing and and seeking stuff and knowing like, this is bullshit. This is a great brand. This is no good.
This is fake, you know, from, you know, ask you about it leather jacket, because the one that I got is so friggin old. Oh, I love that one was in style. Out of style. Yeah.
It's called like the when I was wearing when we did that Texas tour right now that's called the car coat and Butko makes one now that is it's fitted and so fantastic.
I don't think I want to be fitted right now with. No it's not. I don't know if I want to be fitted these days.
It's not like that, but it's get it gets rid of the giant Berel Arms, which is God awful giant barot arms like you like your arms only this big and the armholes this big. I'm talking about that kind of shit, you know, not around your gut. It's all about the arm.
Being in a good leather jacket is difficult because it's you know, you don't look like you're a Happy Days fan, right? You look like an old Ron Howard like me. Or you're not flying like a World War Two bomber. It's just it's like. Too many zippers will fuck it up. Yeah, I like it at night. Your boots are fucking badass.
That's how we started. That was the first period, let me tell you, buying the bootmaker story. He was in high school.
He's a good looking man. Is this the guy that Tammi's Gray is a good looking man? Yeah. So I'm going to say something real quick. You see what he's doing right here? We tried to turn this into a fucking TV show and a few people came close, but nobody pulled the trigger. I don't know why they did. This fucking guy knows where all the cool shit is. All this handmade stuff, like all of this stuff where I would go to these cities a bunch of times, I hate that city is nothing but a bunch of cheesecake factories and Home Depots, like, what are you talking about?
You go to that city. All the NFL footballs are made there or they do. There's a guy fucking right next to the Taco Bell you go to that builds custom motorcycles. He's phenomenal. The best in the business. He just sold the bike to someone. So he knows this all around the fucking. Country. Yeah, I have the podcast right now since no one picked up the show. I started the second podcast called The Grail, and each week I feature one of these people and it's the holy grail of what I feel of home stereos, boots, cars, you know, architecture, denim, watches, everything, you know.
So each week I bring in my SO last week, Jesse James on. It's the holy grail of chopper building.
A lot of people and myself included, I would love to know where to get good boots or a good jacket or know the different. I would love someone to walk me through with Jesse James, the different types of what a barber is versus a chopper versus versus a cafe racer versus like what I like in motorcycles.
Like when I rode, I rode the Harley, the Harley for four fifty five.
Fifty six I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. The sports the Sportster. Yeah.
I rode that and it was a little lower, it was a little more fun to ride, rode it through Hawaii versus a a fashion show which. Yeah. Which I felt like even getting on the low which I thought I would like more, I was like it's too heavy for me. I wanted a little bit more accessible to a bike, but there's so much information. Information is the key to this because I am fascinated when you say Bootmaker. Yeah, I'm sitting here, I'm scrolling through this guy's fucking boots going like shit, man.
I'm sure I don't have any good boots. I got those boots. You know, the boots you get in Australia, they're the R.H. R.H. Somethin's they're like the Australian boot, right?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Like the one that the fucking high my you know, they all wear and it's just the standard.
Yeah. It's not the Blunstone. The cheaper version. Right. Yeah. Nicer version. Yeah. And so and by the way I have a pair of Blunstone too. I love Blunstone but I bought those boots. Those are the only boots I have now. I'm looking at these things going I love engineer boots. I've always loved I had a great pair of engineer boots that were stolen from me. I didn't know they were called engineer boots.
Yeah, that's the boot that raise a dangerous friend to have because he will introduce you to shit that you didn't even know that you wanted. Well, son, you're like God. Oh, my God. I got I got to get that. I got to get that.
I always laugh because I'm doing the podcast and I feature someone on and then someone will email me and they'll be like fucking thousand thousand dollar pair of boots. You're fucking out. No wonder you're poor. You fucking piece this shit fucking. And they don't understand. They buy nine pairs of boots at Walmart over a six year period. I buy one pair of boots for the rest of my life. You know, there's Rogan have a pair of this guy's boots.
I swear to God he was wearing these boots in an Instagram post this morning. Really? I swear to fucking I'm going to pull up the goddamn post.
Rogan got a good jacket, by the way. I got Kuruc for a guy who has no style, he's got good taste in clothes. I guarantee you his wife is doing it. We won't I don't know.
We saw him in Austin and he was wearing this fantastic what's called an end, one that the Navy guys wore. And he had a leather version of it. And it was the first time I was a little jealous of something Rogan was wearing. I was like, whoa, that's fucking back leather.
This is an and one jacket. That's an end now. And then one has like a color on it, a fur collar like, you know, the Navy guys wore it when they were out on the boats. They're fantastic. And he had another one. And I saw the company that made it. And it's Crusher Man.
I have such no style that I didn't even notice it. I noticed like a truck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I walked right up I go, that's a sweet jacket. And he goes, Oh, thanks, man. And immediately I wanted to know who made it. And then he posted who made it. And I went to their website and was like, God, I got to have the brown one here.
Now you're take a look at a map to zoom in, ok. OK, let me see. Can you see these boots? By the way, Joe Rogan is a Chuck Taylor wearing motherfucker.
Yeah, and all of a sudden he's rocking his boots and I'm like, man, someone has changed since he moved to fucking Texas will Austin style man. And this is the jacket, too, I think.
Austin Scott's mom. Oh, and let's talk a little bit about Rogan, which I do see happen with a lot of people. And I'm not saying this happened to Rogan, but I've seen it happen over the years where people want to wear something. I hear this over and over my entire life. Wow. Cool glasses. You can pull those off. I could never do that. And when they move somewhere where they're high school friends or the Comedy Store, people don't know them anymore.
They can really create who they want to be. Now, I'm in Austin. I'm going to wear this fucking jacket. I don't have to worry about Burgo. Nice jacket. You're queer, you know, like I got a jacket. I got some good boots, you know, and I'm not saying Rogen that him, but I've seen people move somewhere and they completely become who they want to be. And they're like, fuck, yeah, dude.
You know, like, I will I will give you a sound bite from my childhood. Yeah.
I used I used to have a joke about all my clothing decisions for my entire life have been trying not to look gay.
That's it was all based on homophobia, my childhood and any decision. Yeah, my whole thing was gay bashing. I can't wear that. I can't wear that. I'm going to wear that.
God forbid you take a chance. And everyone's like, what kind of club are you going to tonight? You're like, never mind.
I'll change for the whole not the. I like that mom. I can't I can't wear that. I always make that second period. I'm sorry, you guys, Massachusetts. These are shackles of heterosexuality, bill jeans and a sweatshirt. You know what?
You know what's hilarious, though, is once I started wearing stuff that it happened in the 10th grade. So Metallica's big I need a motorcycle jacket. That's what the bands are wearing. And we went down to Polk Street, which is the gay neighborhood in San Francisco, and we went to a place called Hard on Leathers. All right. And we went in there and I got my first leather jacket. Now, no one is wearing leather jackets in high school, especially this motorcycle.
So this is before they're hip. It was just kind of like you were either gay or, whoa, this guy's crazy. And I was like, I'll take both, you know, I'll wear this crazy.
And I remember I wore the high school the first day of tenth grade and people are like, whoa, what the fuck is this guy wearing? I mean, it was I was considered radical a motorcycle, whether in 1982 in high school, you know. And that's right. When Metallica is kind of hitting and wearing that shit. Wow. I mean, you know, hey, here's my question, how do you get rid of clothes in your closet or do you?
Well, the stuff I have is all hard to get and minimal made, you know, like a hundred pairs of this, 10 of that, one of that. So I sell it on eBay for the same money. I bought it four years later. So I'm like, all right, I'm over this and I'll sell it for the same money and buy something new. So if you bought clothes like me and what you want to do is you put them in a garbage bag, you take it down to Skid Row.
Yeah, that's what you do with it. Take it to goodwill because they'll just throw it in the ocean. Yep, yep, yep. Ah shit. You hipster's don't want to wash it, although I like to think that this is actually a nice little sweater ensemble.
Yeah. I mean I could see that I didn't want to say anything below that sweater. I just missed my this is my old man sweater. I think I got this in Ireland.
I dig it. I dig it and I you know, I finally I am of age where I could wear one of these. All I need is some granny glasses. Let me tell you about jokes.
When I was coming up, I'll tell you early covid I was having a hard time not wearing my my clothes.
You know, this is who I swear to God that was going to I swear to God I was going to ask you that. I swear to God I was like, so sweet. Has that has it been tough with the pandemic because you can't put on anything and go anywhere yet. So I was. And then one day I had to go to a meeting. It was an outdoor meeting and I put on my clothes. And I can't tell you the the amount of depression that just lifted off my shoulders because I'm not a sweatpants guy.
I'm not a guy laying around in sweat pants. Oh, I don't fly in sweat pants. I'm the type of guy old school rock, like somebody going to see me at the airport. I want to look like fucking Dean Del Ray. I don't want to be in the sweats and the fuck, you know. So I put on the outfit and went to the meeting and it made me feel fantastic. I was like, oh, the clothes.
That's fucking weird.
I'd like to clarify, though, this track suit sweats and then there's sweat pants, right? Man, the shit they are sweat pants are the shit, the tracksuit ones. I don't like those ones.
Oh I take that I, I saw Kevin Hart in a all baby blue tracksuit at the airport. There's a long time to go back down.
You would have said hi and and and I let you go free.
Is Netflix deal yesterday. Congrats to Kevin Hart. Hardest working man. I'm a very talented man. I will say that more than hard working, I'd say he's talented.
I never shit on people making it ever that I just was teasing him. I did his his Sirius Satellite show. Oh really? And I was saying that I must have got enough credits on my IMDB page that he was talking to me again.
I he was in an all baby blue tracksuit. Yeah. I was like, I was like I was in jeans and a pair of fry boots and a leather jacket and I thought, I thought I bet he's more comfortable than I am.
And I am a suit wearing motherfucker on planes while I wear I wear the Adidas bird doesn't like it, but I wear the Adidas track suit right now when I fly because I had the neck surgery. So I wear the all black tracksuit when I fly now and then I tell you I didn't like that.
Why would that be?
No, you just said it just now, right? You said not to. No, no, no, no.
I was just I was just talking about for comfort. Oh, I got in school. Oh yeah. Ray on. Great. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's one thing. It's just it's just way more comfortable. I find it. So I feel like you're wearing a pillow.
Yeah. Oh I love that shit. The Rocky One stuff. Bring it on.
Have you worn a comfy yet. You fucking.
What is that. It is like a sleeping bag with a hood on it and and it is so fucking comfortable.
My whole family's income there's so I mean it's a country. What a comfy.
It's I got one mind I think. Sharper images. All right. How do you spell it. C c o m f y cmf y a comfy. Yeah. Don't go to the shop. The official comfy store bill. It's a tent with a hood on it. It is so fucking comfortable.
You seem out of fat fucks.
Oh you feel skinny so big you feel skinny on them.
Oh you want to see something funny. Someone just sent me this. You're going to love this. Hold on. Let me get rid of this background real quick. Oh my God. Somebody sent me this. Today and I saved it because I was going to send it over to Bill. Oh, it's insane.
Look at this. This is Fat Dean at a concert with sunblock in the back pocket. And I'm like looking at look at the belly on the mirror. Look like a third base coach.
I dare I look like a third rate because I'm look at this photo.
You look like, who's that guy who coached manage the Orioles? Oh, I don't know. We were after him, the guy with the blond hair, he's funny as hell. Oh, my gosh. Here on the Red Sox and Yankees star.
Nobody knows how you lost all that weight because of diabetes.
Yeah, I got diabetes and. And I was in the doctor's office and he goes, OK, so it's going to be eight hundred dollars a month for this, you need these, you know, insulin pills. And I got eight hundred a month. I don't even have I'm trying to pay rent right now.
This is four years ago. I mean, I'm still in the same boat, but I go, well, what else can I do? And he goes, I don't know, I'll grab some brochures on the way out. And I was just like, because the doctor, he just gives you the diagnosis. He doesn't know the facts. He's just the regular doctor. So I quit sugar 100 percent that day and lost 40 pounds.
Now he no longer looks like Buck Showalter. I looked it up, man. Yeah. So you like no pastas, no breads, no nothing?
No, no Ezekial bread once in a while and pasta once a month or so would be quinoa pasta. But no, none of that man.
It's you know, the problem was I wanted to do comedy more than I wanted sugar.
So I made the easy switch to fucking know one thing that I love about dating only has to learn a lesson once. Yeah. Yeah, not me, dude, I learned it over and over again. All right, this is the time. Now I'm going to start speaking a stop. We got to we got to wrap this thing up. I got to go get my daughter at school. So, Dean. Yeah?
You are the man brother. I've got I got the restyle.
Bert, it's the best segment we've ever done, you know? All right, everybody.
Thus concludes another wonderful episode of the bill, Byrd's Blood, God Rest in Peace.
Geoff Scott, Dean Del Rey, thank you so much for being such a wonderful guest. We will talk to you guys again soon. Stay safe out there. Don't watch the news unless you want to hear.