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It is a Spotify original podcast. You can get it everywhere. Speaking of wringer people Gjerde American. He wrote a new book. It is called The Road from Rocka. It is a true story of two Syrian brothers, one who left for America as a young man, the other who stayed until their country spiraled into war, both of whom reunite in Syria just as ISIS takes control of their city. The New York Times gave it a rave review, calling it, quote, riveting, a resplendent love letter to an obliterated city.
Check it out, Jordan.
We've been with him since Granlund. He followed us through the wringer. It's been great to work with him. And and he's done some really good stuff for us. But it's really, really hard to write a book. Check that one out if you have a chance. Coming up, Joe House and I are going to talk late night basketball here on Thursday. And then old friend Hannibal Burress, he's coming on to talk about a whole bunch of stuff.
First, our friends from Pearl Jam.
All right, if you missed it, we did, too, we watched this week, we did The Sandlot and Teen Wolf. Joe has to sit here and talk basketball and golf with him, but Kyle Brandt on the team will be watching us house brought up a fascinating question. I can't believe this movie is 35 years old and I've never thought of it.
What college would have been the most likely college to go after and get Teen Wolf his senior year, which we because we threw out Jerry Tarkanian. We threw out Rollie Massimino. Yes, I was. Yes, Denny Crum, Louisville. That was right around the Purvis place in time. What coach. Nineteen eighty five. Eighty six range is likely to hone in and convince Teen Wolf to come and possibly pay him. I mean, there's an excellent chance there's a ton of stories out there about old Jim Boeheim.
Jim Boeheim has some hair on his balls when it comes to, you know, doing finding some opportunities that might not exist out there under the rules. Do you like the thought of Teen Wolf in you and of in Vegas at night at the casinos? I think that's that was our best best case scenario. It's it's a plus. It's a number one, the first one that came to mind as you were describing the scenario to me, of course, that's where Teen Wolf belongs.
OK, all right. So last time you were on here, nothing was happening. And now we're kind of back. You have a APJ, a major happening right now in San Francisco. The bubble has been fantastic. And we were waiting. We're taping this right now. It is almost eight o'clock peaty. So you stayed up late on the East Coast. Are proud of you. We're going to wait until after this Rocket's Lakers game and then LeBron groin was sore.
We're starting to see some bubble chicanery. I just watch Portland, Denver, our blazers that we bet on at plus four eighty to make the playoffs. Denver says, hey, guys, we really like and appreciate that. Bet you made. We're going to rest Yokich in crunch time. How about that? Incredible.
They you know, Denver was kind of poised to maybe take a run at the clips and the two hole. And this game was a crucial game for that. And they played hard. I thought that Denver intended to win that game tonight. Well, I think what happened is they maybe were waiting and seeing how that Mavs game was going to go, OK? And if the Mavs beat the clips and then they had a realistic chance to get the two, I think they go all out.
I think once the clips one. What's really going on here is they don't want the three seed because they don't want to play the Clippers in round two and they don't I think I don't think they want to play the rockets in round one as the six seed. So it seems like they would rather get that force by and potentially play the Lakers in round two. That's the only reason I can imagine why you would throw away this Port Lincoln. And there's no other explanation.
It is kind of weird. That sounds like too much, you know, machinations in terms of of you know what?
It's too early in in the bubble right now to be scoreboard watching, isn't it? There's still too many things can happen. I thought that, but I was talking to a couple of people today and one of them was saying, watch Utah and Denver. The lengths they're going to go to try to not play Houston in round one and I was like, really? There's like four or five games left and that was one. And then the other one was was the Mavs.
Today, that was a big game because that was their chance to knock the Clippers to the three seed so they didn't have to see them and run when they can't beat the Clippers. And they went all out in that game, 100 percent balls to the wall, game seven. And it didn't matter. The clips still throttle them. So I actually don't think it's too early. We only have like four or five games left depending on what the team is.
I I'm surprised that Denver thinks that they would have a better chance if they were in the four spot, if that's what they were thinking. I don't know, I mean, I can't, you know, try and make any sense out of it. Denver, as much as anything to me, looks like they're just relieved to have 10 guys that continue to play. You know, you must be coming in to think about a couple angles for the bubble.
One of the angles that I've really enjoyed over these first handful of games is like these revelation guys. Yeah, guys like Michael Porter, junior guys like TJ Warren, guys like Gary Trent Jr, you know, kind of second tier below the radar, guys who were stepping into this very unusual set of circumstances and, you know, doing really good things for their teams and creating, you know, opportunities for the teams that maybe didn't exist. Pre bubble.
I had this for later, but let's do it now. I was thinking about wild card guys for these teams because. Right. I think one of the cool things about this whole bubble in the situation we're in without a home court advantage and the fact that nobody seems 100 percent happy with their team except for Toronto is that each guy has. Each team has. Kind of that guy that is is weirdly going to determine their fate, even though it's not their best player, their second best player, so the first guy listed was Porter Jr.
And I don't know what Denver does with that because. You know, I think we would both agree the ceiling of whatever team that has, even if everybody comes back, I just don't think as a team that can make the finals. And I you know, all due respect to them, three seed wherever they land, I just don't think they're as talented as the Clippers and the Lakers. Porter is the wild card guy for them because they can play him in the bubble.
It doesn't really matter if they're three, four or five or six. There's no home court anyway. They're going to make the playoffs, the Reps that he's getting in these games. When they get to round one, you know, he's going to have seven games under his belt of being the number two option of a playoff team. He's electric weepin. And, you know, this was a complaint during the regular season that Denver fans and NBA fans were leaving Mike Malone.
Everybody say, why are you sitting on NPG? And I think they had good reason. I mean, the guy with his injury history, you know, his his NBA maturity, maybe his own sort of maturity as a as a kid growing up into the league. I mean. Right. God bless him on the Instagram with the conspiracy theories. He's been canceled three times already and it's only been a week. But from a basketball perspective, I mean, the ceiling is way up here.
I mean I mean, it's exciting. Well, there's two things they really need from him. Or need from somebody like him, that he just happens. One is that he can actually shoot and that's a team that's pretty spotty, like their best three point shooters, Murray and even Murray is a little up and down depending on the week. But he you know, he's a good shooter. But the stuff he does around the rim and Yokich, it's like giving Yokich just Dutoit.
It's like when we get Barch box every month for for our dogs and Willy, our beloved Willy opens the bark box and pulls out this thing. It's just so it's like the greatest. It's hilarious. It's the greatest day of his life that Michael Porter Junior just came out of the bark box for Yokich. And now Yokich is 20 feet for the basket. And he's got this guy making these little sneaky cuts he's hitting with these passes. And then he's going up in the air, but kind of sideways.
He's he's one of those like does that many forwards who have the athleticism like that to bend left and right. And I think he's really exciting. You could argue he's the second best offensive player that did it. He's barely played. You said this two minutes ago, and I don't disagree that they're not going to be in the finals this season. But I love Denver for next season. I can't wait to see, you know, what if they have if everybody can be healthy and they enter the season starting Christmas Day, twenty, twenty, if the all things work out, that Denver team is formidable.
It's deep. They have they can go a lot of different ways. We you know, bat ball ball is going to be my pet, my pet project. But, you know, he's getting run and the development of him on that team into into potentially an asset, they can be like a ten to twelve player deep team. Well, when Porter went in the draft, he went fourteenth. And we all thought it was a good pick immediately, we all thought it was a couple pics too late and at the time, this is a fascinating draft.
The Knicks take knocks nine. I mean, just a tough, tough 20 years for the next McKale Bridges goes to Philly and then they trade him to Phoenix. Shea, Gilgeous, Alexander goes the 11th man.
And then the clips are on the clock with two picks. And they take they take Miles Bridges and Jerome Robinson, they traded bridges, but they they had these two pseudo lottery picks. And could have just rolled the dice with Porter and one of them actually would have been like a genius move, right. And then they could have just Stasch Porter. Now, granted, he probably would have been dumped in that Occy trade for Paul George. But my point is, I don't think he should have fallen that far.
And B, he came one pick away from your beloved wizards.
Oh, I don't want to hear it. Who were 15? Who took Troy Brown? Who's that? Is he on your team? He's he's he's down there. He's in the bubble. He's he's half of an NBA player. The Wiz through the Wizards have, you know, one and a half NBA players. He's he's one of those. OK, good. I haven't watched one second of the Wizards in Bubble, but I think if he goes to the Wizards.
He probably he probably just gets hurt and worse. It's a no, it's a no such that something bad happens there. Anyway, I at the time, it didn't make sense that the Clippers didn't roll the dice because everybody is like, this guy's healthy. He's a top three pick. Had the back thing, but that's right around the time you'd take the run at it anyway, it's fun that they're just letting him loose and I don't know what it's going to mean for round one.
I think there's some real defensive trust issues with them. I think that's why he got benched the first bubble game. I like that he texted his coach. Next guy. Next wild card guy. And this is the most proven guy in the bunch, Fred VanVleet. Oh and I mention him because we saw in the playoffs he had this Jekyll Hyde thing where he was horrendous for the first 10 games and then he was unbelievable for the second ten games you're talking about last year.
Last year he single handedly carried Toronto to the title. I mean. Right, he got, he caught fire and and it was what it was. And it was like, is this is this a hot streak or is this is this the player he's going to become? And then over the course of the year, it was like, oh, he's actually good. And now you're seeing, like, him and Lowry together and and something's going on with that.
But it's kind of like like a poor man's Lillard McCollum combo now with with the amount of offense they're getting from two guards. Sure. That is at high levels those two guys, but it's thirty six points the other night. I mean could fill it up. This is, this is the thing with him and he's been doing it. This is why before this started you mean the coaches talked about, you know, sleeper teams that we like that could really make a mark in these playoffs.
And I just love Toronto and then he's a big part of it. And they really demonstrated all the reasons why I thought that they had a chance to to go there, just mature.
They're a mature team that plays confidently. They know who they are and they just go out. You know, in some respects, I feel the same way about Houston. Funny enough, I think Houston's looked well. I think that they they've been playing like serious basketball. They've been playing true to their identity. Right. They're making this small ball thing work. And they have been daring teams to to to, you know, punish them. And weirdly enough, teams have gone on stretches of punishing them and they go away from it.
Milwaukee is the biggest example of that Milwaukee Houston game. Should have been concerning for Milwaukee fans because, well, look, that the solution was to give Giannis the ball in the post and they did it a bunch of times in the fourth quarter and then they stopped doing it and I don't know why they stopped doing it. I'm with Milwaukee and the two L.A. teams, I'm trying not to overreact because I think their destiny going into these playoffs was secure personnel.
But so, yeah, I, I don't mean to suggest an overreaction. No, I don't think one thing you said in there was an overreaction because I thought the same thing watching it. I've said it before in the podcast and the Bucs fans get supermen. In these type games. Yana says the best part of the week for the first 47 minutes of every game. That last minute. I'm not sure he's my number one pick for I'm down one, create a shot for me.
Right, I think that's a very fair thing to say, I think I would pick five to six other guys before him on that list. We're down one, make a play. I think what makes them special is what he does over the course of the game. And he's the best player in the league. I'm not arguing anything. Otherwise he's the best. But that last minute of the game and you see it with Portland, it's one of the reasons Portland has been such a special bubble.
Team like Lillard is gone five other levels beyond and the guy was already great. Anyway, I'm starting to wonder, you know, could he beat the Lakers in round one? Could that team actually can really give them a conversation? Let's hold that thought the. Fred VanVleet for Toronto I guess would go to Portland really quick. Gary Trent Junior would have been my wild card guy, but I don't even feel like he's a wild card, the guy gets muddy today every time he shoots the three a.m. go again.
We Rassilon. I raved about him on Sunday night spot. I don't think we even have to live better anymore. I would switch the wild card guy. I'm but I'm putting Gary Trent and submit. It's good. I'm all right. You're good, right? Not in cement. Zach Collins. OK, and. There's an interesting thing with him and Nurkic together, and you saw tonight the Denver game where he's just a really good basketball player. I'm not sure he's a good like actual talent basketball player, but in, in the terms of I know where to go, I know what to do, I'll make the extra pass.
You give me, you know, a three on two and I'm about to go layup. I'll stick one into Nurkic. He he does some, some really high IQ things that if you're looking at what's their best. Five. And I don't think you and I think Melo should be in that best five if we're talking like a Game four, game seven. I thought you were going to give Melo the wild card.
I really thought that's weird because I don't I think in crunch time I think they have to go Nurkic Collins, Trent and lower to McCollum. I don't know if Melo gets out there because of his defense. OK, but maybe it'll depend on the matchup. But the thing with Collins is if if he can play with Nurkic and not kill them defensively because he's constantly on some sort of mismatch. Now I'm getting offensive rebounds now I'm getting tip ins. Now I'm getting a little sneak passes.
But on the other hand he's, he's a guy you can watch on the wrong night and you think like Oh my God that guy sucks. What do you think is that got the IQ thing is is the thing. And this is why at the outset of the bubble, we express all this confidence and the the idea of great opportunity to to gamble on on Portland right now.
Who thinks is going to give the Lakers some trouble. Charles Barkley has been saying he said before that anybody played a game that Portland was going to get in and that Portland, he's saying just flat out the Portland is going to beat L.A. He's just saying it now. Well, we we talked about this.
We've had multiple texts about this, about it's it's in a lot of ways a worst case scenario matchup for a team that gets the one seed and then they have to play Portland, who might be the third best team in the West, has these two guards that they're going to have a lot of trouble matching up with. I guess the key is that the the Blazers have nobody to guard LeBron. They get bodies to throw at Davis. But the LeBron thing, it's basically Trent Carmelo and the worst player in basketball, Arizona.
And that's a they'll be throwing at him. You said not to overreact. And I'll I'll agree to do it to to subscribe to that. But the Lakers are the worst offensive team in the bubble right now. They have their offensive efficiency is last. I mean, there's a whole bunch of of stats where there are dead last and all kinds of offensive categories. I did hear that Rondo arrived today. Oh, wow. And I don't know what that means, like how far out he is in terms of clearing first Lycabettus, but also, I don't know where were his rehab stands.
But the fact that he's arrived, that that's important for them, I think.
Well, they're so we're taping right now. It's ninety one seventy three Houston with two minutes left that third quarter. I think one of the reasons the rest of LeBron in this game didn't mean anything to them, but I think they really wanted to give all these different lineups, non LeBron lineups minutes to see what they have, because that was the glaring thing watching the first couple of games when he wasn't playing. They didn't really have anybody who could run their offense and the fact that they're relying on Dion waiters like they're relying on Dan Waiters when he's been a nonfactor for two years now, I happen to think he'll actually help them in the playoffs if it's heads on straight, because he can create his own shot, stuff like that.
But when you're watching them go on, man, they actually need that guy. And it's the end waiters who's who's been like a 30 for 30 the last two years. That's not a great sign. I just think they have I think they had a average to below average. Supporting cast tending toward below average before the Bradley Rondeau thing, and now it's just below average, it just is like you look at Denver today, like Dodger comes off the bench for Denver today is actually like making things happen.
The Lakers don't have anybody like that in a lot of these teams do. So I want to hold that Portland thought because I wanted to talk about that after. Actually, you know what, let's take a break first, because I have two breaks for this segment. That are food once food related ones drink related, and I did. I didn't want to deprive you of doing those without you. First of all, sports are finally back. The only way to celebrate their return is that buffalo wild wings with wings, bundles for takeout or delivery.
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Bonos only takeout or delivery through Buffalo Wild Wings app or website, not out of the any other offer. More wild card guys. Eric Gordon for Houston. You know, watching them and I like how they're playing and they don't even have him yet and. He's either the third or fourth best player in the team. I don't I'm not ready to talk myself in Houston yet because I'm still not sure this is sustainable with the small lineup and we saw them wear out right before the pandemic.
But right now, they look really good. And you add him to the mix. We'll see what happens.
Koosman, I think for the Lakers has to be Kuzma because of the you know he's basically a thirty one percent three point shooter but if he set up his ability to play D he last to play Davis the five you played Davis LeBron came together with Danny Green and then whoever to guard the other team's point guard. That's probably their best lineup. I agree with this Don't tonight Kuzma starting and getting the minutes that he got that was important I think.
Yeah well they're down by eighteen. I have I have two more. Because the sons might make the playoffs and we were impressed post suspension with DeAndre Ayton. And there were real signs of life with that team and with him and now in the bubble, watching him in that team just seems like they they have kind of fallen into place that the Pacers win today. They really favored by, like, take a point, the Suns and they went on a twenty one nothing.
Run it at one point. The shockers that Cameron Payne is a competent backup. That guy, I thought was I remember him. I know we've been waiting. He was horrible. And people have been waiting. He's turned into like a tall ish Smith But have you watched eight and he looks like a legit big man kind of. Nurkic but you know a little more athletic but just kind of long and big and, and a problem.
We've been waiting for it for a while now and maybe this is the thing that will help him advance, you know, making the leap. We've been waiting for a sustained consistent, you know, because he's got the talent and he's got the right head coach. I thought the entire son story to me is about Monty Williams. What a what a difference.
You know, a guy who has both like he's he's kind of a young team whisperer in a way.
And they're they're a decent mix. Right.
It's they have young guys and they have a couple that's, you know, Rubio at the helm is not you know, that that sets a kind of. He's an adult. Yeah.
A veteran kind of presence. Is Dario Saric an adult on this team. I mean now paints as though Baynes the awesome teammate. Yeah. Yeah. Belove Right. But you know they're, they're, they're young guys. We will Booker's been doing has been awesome. It's exactly why he earned that contract that he got. But this is the eight that we wanted to see and you know, let's, I'm not going. If we get a Portland Phoenix eight nine series that's going to be awesome.
And I think that's where we're headed. I'm looking at it right now. Memphis is thirty two and thirty seven. Portland's thirty two and thirty eight point. They're going to flip spots. And then it's a question of whether Phoenix can catch Memphis and they are two games behind them. But Memphis is just in a freefall. And we'll see how that goes, but yeah, I'm with you, if we had double elimination, Portland. Versus Phoenix and Portland just has to win one.
It's pretty good stuff. My last wildcard guys, Gordon Hayward.
The more I look at this Celltex team in the east. And I think I think there's clearly a leader in the bucks, not a news flash. I think Toronto is almost one, be it Milwaukee one eight, Toronto one be OK.
And I think Miami is the third best team, and I like their name in rotation, I think when they have everybody back, it's just the most complete team that they can. They have the most things that can happen during a game. If somebody is not having a good game, they have other guys who could step up. They've shooting, they have a really good coach. And then it's like Philly, Philly, Boston, Indiana. We'll talk about Simmons in a second.
The Boston thing with Kemba at 65 percent, 70 percent, whatever it is, thrown in with the fact that they they really don't have any depth. It's a 17. And then the Hayward is the X Factor, and when you came and you saw me for my 15th birthday, Hayward broke his hand and he's never been the same since. If he can't go back to where he was that first month of the season, I think this Celtics team could lose in the first round.
Second, I do not think they will make the third round. I don't have any reason to disagree with you, I think you have the rankings in the East. Exactly right. The bubble has has shown us, you know, the character of the East teams has has really been sort of defined. The only slight surprise at all to me has been Indiana, how good Indiana has looked.
And today. Well, well, sure. But like the disappointment to me with Indiana, Sabonis getting hurt because, boy, you look at that team and what they could do, how deep their rotation could be with Sabonis now. Now we have too much Myles Turner and that's never a good thing.
Yeah, I think they would have been the fourth best team. The Boston thing is a bummer because you know they just had so many picks over the last few years and I was texting with somebody and I like to not get a high lottery pick out of that Sacramento pick last year. And then and then also the Memphis pick this year. And it just got for two on those was really difficult. That's like 15 to one odds that that just wasn't going to play out that way.
They're missing that one last piece. And, you know, Hayward's going to opt in for thirty million. And that'll be the expiring year of the contract. But there's still time to you know, we've seen when he plays well, what it means, because now you have three wings who can all penetrate and shoot, threes who can switch on D and, you know, the ceiling just gets higher.
But I don't think it's happening. Sorry, buddy. Yeah, I don't think it's happening either. Oh, you had you had a tie. What was your other topic you want to bring? The other thing that that has struck me as weird, and maybe it's because I'm in a generous and gracious frame of mind and there has been like some disparity around this. I think the refereeing has been good. Is that is that a crazy thing to say there?
Like there are games where there's been 50 fouls and, you know, seven technicals. But I honestly have not been watching the games, getting frustrated by the refereeing.
And I don't know if it's me or if it's the situation. I've thought they've they've done a terrific job with really having their stuff together on the video reviews. It feels like they're getting those done very quickly. I don't feel like I'm sitting around for an hour and they're making the right the right call coming out of those reviews. I don't know. Like I say, maybe it's the quarantine spirit in me wanting, you know, something good out of the situation.
But I think the rest have been decent.
Well, maybe think about it. They don't have to travel. They could just kind of focus on their job, they get to the game, there's no fans, nobody yelling at them, that they're cocksucker, their dickhead, their fucking asshole, like all the stuff they hear gave after gave all the time. You yell at them. Yeah, all the stuff I'm yelling. And maybe maybe they're just I still hate the the instant replay reviews. And for me, they've been really noticeable just because we spent four and a half months watching old basketball games.
And guess what, they had a much better flow because we weren't stopping every time it might have been in charge on somebody that had to and we had to spend four minutes litigating that, I would just rather we didn't have all that stuff unless it was, you know. Did that three happen before the shot clock expired? Stuff like that. I still think we should have it for that, but. Well, you know, we're litigating if we're slowing somebody down, a one one hundredth of a second to see if he was still kind of moving during a charge.
Yeah, what are we doing? I know block that. I'm just saying, setting aside, though, I can't question. I get what you're saying.
I think they've done a good job of making it effective. It hasn't felt, you know, drawn out. All right, well, that's those are my angles. That's the nicest thing we're ever going to say about the referees, so. One of the true joys we had for this bubble of basketball, one was the plus for Portland Bet, which has been really fun to root for, and I feel like I'm actually a Blazer fan at this point.
I've watched every minute of all of their games are really into it. The Portland soccer moms, we were finally on the right side. We should be ecstatic. We love this team. We are rooting for them. But I mean, yeah, we are Portland fans. We're watching every game. We're in the minivan with you guys. We're cheering, worryin orange slices. We're rip city jerseys. The the other joy of the bubble for us was was Philly self-destructive and losing in round one.
And then all hell breaks loose. And now I feel like we've been robbed because Ben Simmons is hurt. And now if if it could go one or two ways, one, they're still going to suck and everybody's like, well, Ben Simmons got hurt. We better get prepared. We're here. No, it's to be fair to Brett, you know, I mean, that might actually happen or there's going to be some unique potential and Philly will overachieve without Ben Simmons.
Either way. I like the way it was going, where it was just this completely broken team. It was pretty clear none of them were happy. It was just heading for whoever they played. Everyone was going to beat them. I feel hurt house, I'm with robbed. It was going to be much more fun to watch them self combust. One of the truly shocking experiences post bubble watching Philly.
It is as though they hit a pause button in March with every one of the issues that that team had. Chemistry issues, approach issues, strategy issues. All they did was hit pause and freeze time. It was like a freeze frame. They all stopped and didn't move. It's like playing the game freeze. There's a little kid. And then, you know, whatever it is that you say when you're allowed to be unfrozen again, that's how they entered the bubble.
Like they didn't do one thing to like all the stores, Ben Simmons is power forward all shake Milton. This point guard, it was all garbage. It was all nonsense. They looked terrible. They played no defense. And this is the thing with Simmons that makes me think that the I don't think there's the Ewing theory potential isn't high because he's so important to them defensively. Well, do you guys think, like, the one guy that gave a shit?
I agree. I agree. Well. It's it's too bad and it's too bad for Sixers fans, because Brett Brown would be like and, you know, losing Ben was a real problem for us. And, you know, it's he's a he's an all star. He's a tough guy to replace, you know, and we just got to all chip in and it's like, now you guys, we're losing in round one no matter what happened. I also just like Ben Simmons and this is another dumb injury for him, which is which is too bad.
Anyway, I have that. I have. You know, we keep calling a big three Lakers Clippers bucks. Out of respect to the Raptors and everything we've seen this season, yep, let them in, don't we have to say four teams? Fourth, I think like eight teams can win the title just because I think this is going to be a bizarre playoffs with a lot of injuries and no momentum, no homecourt, all that stuff. But at the very least, I think Toronto out of respect should be mentioned.
Now they're the defending champs. Yeah, they they treated the season. They you know, who else has had basically, you know, a finals MVP leave the team and come in and and treated the season with with perfect, you know, honor. These guys have pride and they're playing with pride. And I just love it. The chemistry that they have, Nick Nurse is awesome. Messi is awesome. I just I am so impressed by them.
Yeah. Nicolas is clearly the best coach in the league right now. He has the best command of his team. He does the most interesting things every game offensively. I think they're the most fascinating team. I think he maximizes every guy. And we were talking about them earlier. The one point we didn't make was every guy on that team plays really hard. Yeah. They don't have, like, the. The floater guy, though, I wonder if that guy is going to show up.
There's nobody in that team like that. Everyone shows up every game. I think they deserve it. And, you know, I remember we were doing a podcast when I was at Grantland the year after Dallas won the title. And we were so mad that they didn't defend the title. You and I both feel the same way about this. I think if you win the title, you have an obligation to defend it and defend the title. You know, agreed with us, Michael Jordan, during the ten hours of the last dance.
Till you lose the title, you should be able to defend it. And I think the way Serranos defend it is great. Last thing I had basketball wise was just this Portland thing, which we've talked about before. But, you know, Barkley was doubled down on it tonight with them being able to beat the Lakers. It's not as far fetched as people think. And there's been situations, you know, in playoff history where a team built around two great scoring guards like this.
You know, I could just kind of catch fire for a few rounds like the way they're doing now. I think it's important to mention the reason they look like the best team in the bubble is because they have the highest stakes out of anyone in the bubble right now. Every game is a game seven for them. And they've played, you know, I think the hardest consistently. I forget who said the other day that poor Van Gundy said at the end of Portland, Houston, that he thought that was by far the most competitive game.
He'd seen the bubble. I agree. Both teams are really sophisticated, playing defense, all that stuff. So it's easy to get carried away and be like, oh, Portland's the best team in the bubble now that the high stakes of the bubble right now with that said. It's a nice matchup for them against the Lakers. Yes, it's a team that has a bad backcourt trying to stop a team with a backcourt that scores 60 to 65 points a game.
That's a bad thing for the Lakers. It just is. It'll be really fun to watch if it comes to pass. I mean, there's still a whole bunch of things. We're only really a week into this and there's still a whole bunch of stuff that can happen. And I'm going to knock on wood. I don't want any bad things to happen to derail this. But, you know, the thing that Portland has in front of it when we finally get to that playoff moment is Anthony Davis, the MVP of the bubble.
I mean, holy cow, has he been unbelievable?
Yeah, but think about it, though. Let's say he goes for 38 and 17 every night. I still think that could beat them. They shoot the lights out. They have to shoot the lights up. That's all they had. Twelve threes today. I get it.
They can, but they have to do that like four four, seven games to win that series. We're going to move off of basketball and not talk about the disappointment that is the Dallas Mavericks, we broke blown up there as that team. We can do that really quickly. I just wanted to mention to Toronto, Portland finals, odds are like one hundred twenty five to win. No chance. One hundred twenty five to one, you said finals like you're not going to the top.
You know, I like Toronto. Toronto is not the side of this equation that I have a problem with. Portland beats the Lakers and plays the winner of Utah. Houston ran to. OK. You don't think that could beat you to Houston, they can, but it just it just takes a lot it just takes a lot than I give you. Can I give you the dream scenario for the Blazers? All right. Turn the camera on the Western Conference last year, the final turn the camera.
This is a ringer. Social media breakout. Portland beats Phoenix. First of all, Portland goes eight on the bubble. Portland beats Phoenix in the double elimination game, first game, they get them the hell out of their. Round one, Lakers. They upset the Lakers, they knocked the Lakers out too much guard, scoring too much everything. One of the big upsets, one of the biggest upsets we've had last twenty five years next round. The Houston Rockets who beat the jazz, we get a rematch of Dame versus Westbrook, which clearly they don't like each other, you could feel it the other night.
And that thing I love, we get that whole thing going and then you get in the final round. This is where it becomes a problem, clippers, blazers, where you have two of the best swings in the league going against Carmelo Guerrouj, our guy, Gary Trent Junior, our hero and the worst player in basketball, Mario Hezonja with a little effort inside of it. That's one of the biggest mismatches. So they would need, they would need somebody to beat the Clippers before round three I think would be so.
They would need like a miraculous Denver win or I don't know they need some help, not Dallas. Maybe this isn't a social media breakout that they also lost a game already.
They're not going to go in the bubble. Before. Before you talk about the Mavericks, can I offer you a beverage? Oh, I as the as the original Lapeer Miller Lite has always been there to bring people together through Miller time. But in a world where you can't always be with the people, Miller time might be a moment on a zoom call like we had recently with our Holy Cross friends, a quick porch beer with your neighbor Maskin, up for a socially distant hangout outside whether your Tostin of friends, near or far great taste, always close by right now during a Miller Lite with friends looks different for everyone.
But staying connected is just as important. You could vouch for this. This was my beer in college.
Well, not only that, but like goes great with chicken wings. We're talking about chicken wings a little earlier. Yeah, yeah. Terrific. Chicken wings, beer. And you know what else? It's a great beer for the golf course. Miller Lite is a terrific golf course. Beer. You're so right. You could you could have a number that I probably ought not to say on the on the podcast over the course of a round and two, you know, just.
Yes. Yes, sure do. That's the number. Well, and just have a nice time. Great taste. Only ninety six calories, three point two carbs. However, your friend, you and your friends are Miller Time this summer.
You can have the original light beer delivered, repeat delivered forward slash B.S. and finally deliver happy. I was just better always with this mouth funded delivery options. Do you celebrate responsibly? Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Ninety six calories, three point two carbs per 12 ounces. What did you have to say about the Mavericks quickly? I'm just disappointed. I'm disappointed. You know, they had this problem in the regular season of not being able to close out games.
If the game was in certain number within a certain number of points they had among the worst records, they were in the bottom three in the entire league and they didn't do anything to address that. And we watched them lose their very first game against Houston, up seven points with forty three seconds left. You might not like it when it was a terrific game. I was I'm so mad at them because I parlayed the over and at the time that I bet on it, it was two thirty and a half the point total.
Oh no. And and they, they combined for over three hundred points.
So the over was the lock of the century. But I parlayed that with a Dallas win and everything about how they played and how they matched up with Houston was so sensible and they look so good. And then there was four minutes left in the game and the ball stopped moving. Donchak is forcing stuff. They're taking bad threes only he and Czinger touched the ball with him and pausing as those the only two guys that touch the ball. I was I understood how Steph Curry missed an eighty four percent free throw shooter, missed a free throw that would have I yeah.
Would have played with five seconds left because he hadn't touched the effing basketball in ten minutes.
So I'm just disappointed that's all. It's too bad because they can't beat the Clippers. No chance in your own worse than chance. When we get to round one that's going to be in every parlay we do is going to be the Clippers because we've watched this. It's just for a variety of reasons. It's it's the kryptonite team for them. And I'm with you. You know, I really like how poor Zynga says. Let me too. I need to.
I need to really think about whether he makes sense with Donchak O as a combo wow. Whether that's the right person to be the number two for him.
I feel like it really is. I think they are very complementary.
Well, I think you want you want everything open for him the same way like what Houston has done with Harden and Westbrook, where they've just they basically cleared it out so they can just operate, get to the basket and poison gas is a seven foot three guy. You want him near the basket, but then they have him out twenty six feet away and it's like, is that the best use of him? He doesn't play near the basket. What do you want to ask it?
I have a guy for that. That was Delon Wright now. But you want like inside. Outside. I don't disagree. They didn't. That's not, you know, the key to their offensive success. I mean the the the ringer NBA folks have touted this Dallas offense as the potentially the greatest offense in the history of the league. Yeah, but they don't really have an inside out that's regular season stuff, though. I guess I'm talking about when we're actually in a playoff game and you're and you have to close with three minutes left and you see what you saw in that Houston game, which is just spread out one of five and pausing is is twenty six feet from the basket.
I'm not I'm not sure that's a winning recipe. But anyway, let's go to Goff quick. OK, so by the time people listen to this tomorrow, the second round might be happening. I don't want to spend time talking about what happened in round one with golfers, things like that. But let's talk a couple of things just that we noticed with the course. You covered a lot of this on Fairway Rowin, which has been excellent with you and Nathan Hubbard.
And you were talking about this course, the weather, and then Nathan, who's on the ground there, who went there, and he's been doing Instagram photos and stuff. And he was telling us this morning. These guys are going to be completely screwed who are teeing off much later today because it's going to get windier, it's going to get colder. It's a huge disadvantage. And then we actually saw it. That's what happened. That's how I got borne out.
So as we look, you know, the Friday thing and then all those times are set for Friday, right? That was an advance. Yes, yes. Yes. But then when we get to Saturday and Sunday, you stack the guys who are way ahead. They always tee off last. So they might be teeing off on Saturday and Sunday with the worst weather conditions. So we could see a scenario where somebody could be down six strokes on a Sunday.
But, you know, teeing off earlier in the day before the weather gets weird where they might actually have a puncher's chance to come back. Am I overthinking that or is that in play this year?
No, it's it's definitely in play because of the way this this course, you know, the defense of it is that wind coming in from off the water. And I guess there's two different directions that the wind can come from. But the thing that definitely matters is the golf course firms up over the course of the day so that shots that the guys who play earlier have the benefit of softer greens. The wind is down a little bit, but you can actually get balls to hold.
Now, there was a couple of rounds in the afternoon. Paul Casey went out and shot four under. And, you know, Bryson DeChambeau was was four under it at one point in his round. I mean, there were there were some decent scores to be had in the afternoon. But on balance, the morning guys did better than the afternoon, guys. And I think that is going to be the prevailing dynamic dynamics. So your your thesis, you're that you're sort of postulating here of, you know, is it possible that that somebody in an an early round on Sunday could go out and put up a no go crazy low, just get hot fire pins?
This golf course, if you can hit the fairway, then you have a good chance at scoring. I mean, it was a good, good example of it. Tiger hit seven fairways in regulation today and hit all seven greens in regulation when he did that and he was three under when he didn't hit the fairway, when he was in the rough, he was to over on the on those holes.
And that's that's the difference. That's the way this is going to play out. So if somebody gets, you know, really hot on on Sunday for sure, you go out, pull up a number and just hang on, go in the clubhouse and wait a couple other things. I noticed the eighth hole seems like it's the RAM. And in your butthole, every every major has the ram in your butt hole. And in this tournament, it's the eighth hole, which is weird because usually it's in the back nine.
But this time around, the Atholl is going to be the hole that I think especially heading into the turn and stuff like that, that's going to be a huge factor this weekend. Did you notice any other holes like that or do you think that was the. No, I'm still sort of, you know, getting my arms around it.
It was so enjoyable. And I'll just give a quick shout out to ESPN. So they're showing every hole.
Yeah. Thank you. I said novel idea. I get to watch golf all day.
It was it was on on the East Coast from 10:00 in the morning until 10:00 at night. And, you know, through the combination of ESPN plus and ESPN. And it was just such a wonderful thing to have a mature broadcast. So glorious. It was.
I'm still getting my arms around. You know, it looks like 18 is a great challenge. Hold. You could definitely make bogey on 18. Bad guys had to make long par putts. Tiger made a long par putt. John Rahm made a long par putt to to stay even. But yeah, eight is awesome. I mean it really is the rim and in your butt hole freshmen in your butt hole.
Tiger looked good and for you know compared to what maybe our worst fears were in Koepka looked all right too. So yeah we get more under. He looks better than all right. Yeah. We're going to have a lot of potential, you know, potential drama with some of the stars. Is there any party crashers you feel like the uninvited guest? No, I don't think so. This Brendon Todd is this is a terrific story. He won twice on tour.
He had fallen way, way off in the world golf rankings. And it's a great comeback story. And he was leading in Memphis last week and then he fell apart in the final round. He shot four or five hundred today. I think he's finished at five under. But I don't I don't think he's going to hang in there. But we had a lot of the big names that we were sort of circling. Brooks Bryson. Xander softly Tiger's on the board.
I mean, Justin Rose, a major winner. He's there. Yeah. James Sugar free. Gary with a sugar free. Gary wasn't three under there. Twenty seven pound drop there in the pandemic. Unbelievable. He did two things that you're just vehemently against. He gave up sugar. What was and there was one other food thing, oh, fried foods. Well, the fried foods, I couldn't do the sugar. I don't mind. I could I could see that fried foods is it's offensive, though, that that's off the list.
They can't do that. There's no chance. Well, I'm excited to see what happens. I love having the stars. The bummer for me, just because I was really ferrum, I was thinking about betting him 13 to one today. And then I saw where his tee time was. And I had heard Yonathan talking about the later times being a problem. And I and, you know, that was a good example. I think he was even are you somewhere around even?
He finished even and he held this pump.
Yeah, look, I look, let's let's look at his live odds when we hang up. I'm not I'm not against it. He was plus one for a lot of the run there. Yeah. Scratched his way back to evens. Exactly. We like that.
That's a major caliber fortitude right there. Interesting.
Let's look at the live odds house. I look forward to texting you one hundred and thirty thousand times over the weekend and we try to figure out golf, basketball. But this is great. We're back. We're back. We're back. Fun, OK? Our kids are never going to school again, but we're back.
I went into my son's room today and there is a smell and I have to go. I think there's like food under his bed or something. It's really getting grisly. It's starting it's starting to turn into Silence of the Lambs at my house. I don't know where your house is.
Like, my kid is in pajamas, like, literally I can't he might change into clothes that would be presentable for outside twice every six days at most. He's right this second in the pajamas that he slept in last night. Why change? I don't know. Video games. He's he's doing the stuff with his pals. You want to go outside? It was raining. I'm not going outside. OK, all right. My son kept getting more v.c for NBA 2k and charging it to my pay pal.
And I kept learning about it. I kept wanting to stop. But the reality was I couldn't remember my PlayStation password that I could get. I couldn't stop people. Finally, I figured it out late last night and I took my paper off and then I went into his room and I was like, Ben? This is it, this is your last day, and let's just get let's get twenty dollars a week stuff and then that's it, that'll be it.
It's like, OK, cool deal. Deal. Deal. So he puts it in and then it said you had no funds because they had already taken it off was like, I have you got nothing.
You have no job. No buddy, you're not getting any books. Had a broken foot. You're a dick. But Ether's controller at me I'm sure, just like Ben Simmons, I called him a broke cripple and I walked away. It's getting tense in my house.
Yeah, this little shit kept.
He kept sneaking, thinking he was sneaking these twenty dollars PayPal purchases by me. We discussed this in the past. Yeah. And I finally had to shut off the faucet like he was a crack addict. I will tell you, my kid who just had his tenth birthday over the weekend, the level I'm worried about him already, the level of sophistication, he switched the currency.
So he plays this game roblox and yeah, they will give you the same number of credits in in in Mexican currency, which against the dollar is is is much cheaper like so rather than than let's say if it's one hundred US dollars it's only eighty four eighty five dollars and Mexican for the same quantity of, of things.
He's figured this out and he's asking me to acquire things for him using the Mexican currency. And I'm like, you know what, that's so I'll, I'll do it. Look at you.
You've won me over. You got it. What case presented.
Wow. The pandemic. You know, there's been a lot of heartache, but some success stories, too. Has the Sun figured out Mexican currency has attacked over the weekend. Thanks for staying up late, coming down with us. Always a pleasure. Oh, don't forget about. Your golf podcast, Featherbedding. Sunday night recap, yeah, with Nathan, who's on the ground there, so look for that. All right. Thanks, guys. All right, thanks.
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All right, let's bring in Hannibal. All right. Hannibal Buress here first with one hour. He made that point again in his latest special. Oh, what happened in the second hour? How many times do you have to correct that over? Over forty years sometimes.
So I just I turned down offers. If he comes in with two hours, it's a good site.
It's a good side, the state that it is not about scale it at a couple of times I've said a lot, but is it is this already in my area?
I'm not I don't I don't like it. I had that with me some some people have called me Simonds, yeah, instead of Simmons', I think with two M's, it's pretty obvious it's a similar situation. I haven't seen any Simons with two Ms. So if they do the assignments, I'm like, oh, you have no idea anything about me at this point of time. It's hard to say.
Anderson, Peck has a lyric on what's the name of this, yada, yada, yada. Well, now, if they if they forget that I would charge a double for the purchase price and so I would charge double, I just kind of ignore what came in.
What have you been doing during the pandemic we're heading into next week will be a month will finish month five on August 11th.
It's fucking crazy now being home. It's been it's been nice to get to this zone and and be home. And I play tennis the other day for the first time, but I play just is my first time. So I say, let's just. Does this keep it alive? No, don't care about regular patrols, let's just, you know, we just get to sweat out here. But that was fun. I play video games and it's OK.
I saw that. I wanted to talk to you about that because that's been a lot of my summers, my son. Two really got into it over the last couple of months, and I just have a million thoughts, I was just talking about my podcast the other day, these Galaxie Opal cards and these go cards that they give to people who weren't as great as, you know, in my opinion, didn't really totally deserve a superpower's card. But now the guys coming into the draft who aren't even NBA players yet, like James Wiseman has like a Galaxy Opal card that is better than Hakeem Olajuwon.
What are we doing that my team stuff? Yeah, I can't my brain can't grasp it. I've been in there on the I've tried it, and then I just I didn't I didn't get it as black. I know that that means that they're they're good. You could assemble players, but that mold hasn't grabbed me like that. But they should be given rookies that much, that much clout.
Well, it's basically like it's like a scratch card mentality. You know, those scratch cards that have like seven elevens. Yeah. So you have to like that. They especially get people like my son because my son's as a dad. Can I have kind of twenty dollars I got to buy v.c for to do gote packs. And so they're pretty and it's like, oh the only way I can get this LeBron whatever card. Yeah. I buy these packs.
So then all these, all these kids are trying to get the packs which then they can sell on this whole a little weird eco system that they have.
And it's, it's, it's a it's a time suck but you have to honor it because it's your son.
You can't because this is his first thing you have to, you know, collect today. So your idea is the money you get.
Well, especially during the pandemic, because I just feel so bad for black kids because it's like, you know, my daughter's fifteen, my son's twelve. And it's like they they can barely see their friends do anything they can't they can't be around kids their own age, really. So it's like, you know, you end up being a little lax here, man.
You get them kids get get their friends tested, get there, get them a test. Crew like this is the testing crew. We just hang out with each other. Don't let nobody else into the crew. You'll be monitored. Yeah. Just like your friend group.
We kind of have done that. We have like a couple of families that you just kind of make choices. I'm sure you've done that in your own life where you kind of look around, you're like, I trust these people. I know they're going to be like at some secret rave until two in the morning.
And yeah, you don't seem like you raised pandemic person. And we just, you know, we roll the dice.
I think we should have to list the people in our life publicly, almost like when when sports do like there's an expansion draft and they protect eight to ten people on the team. I think everyone in your life should know whether they crack your circle or not. You know, it's it's like a weirdly insightful moment about what your relationships are. It is.
It is. But is some folks that, you know, I think now is some folks you don't even think about that you would have in your circle if they if they popped up out of nowhere. Oh, oh, oh.
I forgot about you. You forgot about you. We should we should hang out. You're deaf. You're definitely not reckless. What so have you, because you released this comedy special on YouTube, which was excellent. I mean, it's, um, but I'm sure and I'm sure you're working on that. During the pandemic, but now it happens because I want to go back to a special a little bit, but now it's like, all right, we we're at least in this four, five or six more months.
How do you view what do you do?
I've been just working on different concepts and ideas and started doing this. A couple other comedian friends is called News Overload. Where is some news? But it's just also just conversational with framing it in the news. So these type of ideas and if we could do remotely it and I started again, I used to gamble a lot. So podcasts of my Uncle Carl split and. He used to be a dealer at Chicago area casinos for a while. So he has some insane stories in his car.
That's a really wow perspective to view life from is from the side of the dealer watching people lose a couple hundred thousand and see and just, you know, the emotions. And so working on that and just trying to hold on.
Yeah. Can we, can we pause that one. Yeah. I want to talk about splitting tents. OK, I had no idea you were doing this.
Yeah. I just, I haven't put it out yet. I got a couple episodes recorded and I've been I was centered around some folks, but it's so it's all gambling.
Gambling like war stories are like like you're telling stories.
He's telling stories like what's to come it in very different guest stars. So, you know, the first episode was me just getting his experience as a dealer and then about crazy stories. But we talk you know, we talk sports and we talk craps and dice set and rhythm shooting and all this other stuff and Bokhara and we get into it. So it's going to be, you know, the full gamut of gambling.
What's your game when you when you're in a casino? If we ever get to go back to a casino, what's your game?
I was I was craps. I was playing craps. And in eSports, I stopped. I stopped. Gambling has been a year and a half now, but wait, is it so and you stop drinking like a year and a half ago, too.
I stopped drinking two and a half years ago next year cut out gambling.
So every year you're giving up something. Those were the two main ones, those were taken up a lot of time and energy. Did you have to give up gambling or it was just a good idea for you, for your welfare to give up gambling? Just a good idea. Just, you know. CNN, I can channel that is taking that behavior in other aspects of life where I'll still be getting the rush and all the mental rewards to gambling without the cheap action of throwing it on on a tape or whatever, it was just things that are more long term but still still at the same kind of principles of they might not go well or they might go really well.
So it's like that because it's being on tilt and, you know, looking at sports bars every day, being on forums, it takes up a lot of mental energy that could be used elsewhere.
Were you NBA, NFL or were you everything?
I was NBA, NFL. I was banned. A lot of hockey and hockey is so hard to beat.
It's like all those weird buddy lines that go to half like I don't get.
When I got into it, I started. Yeah, in the Golden Knights first season, I was I was following them a lot. And they did, they did really well. So you wrote that during their hot streak? Yeah, it was like a couple of my gambling buddies during that time. They started calling me Hockey Hannibal because I was hitting pics like that. It was like I had a crazy couple of week run during that time.
That's, um. But I've always stayed away from baseball and hockey because baseball has the weird pitching lines and I've just never understood how people make money on those then hockey, especially because I had season tickets for three or four years. It's just so random. Just skating around Balzar or pucks are bouncing off somebody's leg. Go ahead and somebody to pay double overtime and it's like I can't handle this or that.
Those hockey, those empty net goals can really change. That's where you a lot of times you make your puck line on that empty net goal and then they'll be up to. And yet there is a classic one in.
We're taping this on a Monday. There is a Portland Celtics game. Portland was plus four. They're down three with Boston, makes two free throws, Portland's now down three with three seconds left and we had Portland plus four and we're like, this is great no matter what, like, damn, I'll take a shot. Worst case scenario, we go to overtime and maybe we don't cover and overtime, but they will probably miss me and we cover Nurkic just taking the ball out of bounds and just throws it 70 feet and it goes out of bounds.
So now the Celtics have the ball under the basket, up three favored by four. They inbound, Tatum gets fouled. We're like, wait a second we're going to lose this. And he makes one or two ends up being a push. My point is you might you might have made a good move just getting out of sports game and completely because I was so upset. It was just random Sunday. I'm like what just happened. Why did you do that?
Your shaving points. Why y y yeah.
And there is no way the next day you were normal to everybody in your life the way you should have been treated, whether you remember or not, you might you might have been acting funny that a couple of days after a bad beat or a straight up beat. Yes. It was a positive result. I was a blackjack guy and tell him I am a go to Vegas. All I want to do is play blackjack, and I'm not talking for like two hours, I'm talking like the eight to 12 hours, the two hours are changing.
I just I'm just super happy playing blackjack. I zone out, have some drinks. I like to be there with at least one or two friends. A couple of the other seats shift the craps thing. I would dabble in beer and I've had some great crap's moments. I think the problem with craps that's so seductive is if you've had that night at the awesome craps table. Yeah, we're like we're just everything came together and it's like a movie you just you want and again and again.
And it's so hard to find and and people chase it and they chase it. But then when it happens, you're like, oh, this is why I'm doing this year had a craps.
I was up at the blackjack real quick because I do you play the same amount each had you just steady or do you have hunches a you triple up your bet or something like that.
I usually I start out, you know, playing one hand and then as the night goes on, a couple of cocktails and then you kind of feel like the table, the dealer, all that stuff. And eventually if things are going well, I bet you do the two hands at once. The problem, though, is. I don't know, I believe in all these rules, I've written about it a bunch of times, like I don't know if I'm just a lunatic or if these rules are actually like real rules that work.
Like, I always feel like if the dealer is is a shithead or surly or is going too fast or just seems like they're not rooting for us, that that actually affects the cards.
I have no evidence of no evidence at all.
And on the flip side, I feel like when I have a dealer that is, you know, engaging and feels like he's rooting for us and we're kind of connected, we're tipping them. I do feel like that has an effect. What is your uncle say about that?
He does the speed daily thing. I I'm not a fan of that either, because I because especially if you just got a heads up. Yeah. And you and their speed dealer, if you take away that could get ugly real fast where you like this game is moving.
I don't like how this is moving. Right.
This, it's kind of like in boxing if you just get trapped in the corner for it. But there's like a minute and a half left in the round. You're like, oh my God, I just want to survive or to survive it. So the change is real.
He's talked a lot about people, really. You know, sometimes people will ask the dealer in the moment, especially if there's a big bat up and they get you know, they they won't wait for Max play. And, of course, the show and tell some you guys taking the books as a hit and he has to deal with it and they bust out, then you want to blame the dealer, but you don't really.
Well, you know, it was a suggestion. You know, I didn't make you play, but sometimes it can feel like they're pushing you, especially if you're in it already. Sometimes you just there's been times where they. Yeah, they are doing real quick. What am I. Oh, man. I don't know if I if that's how much I wanted to bet or if I wanted to bet more. Oh I was going, I was gonna triple it up and then you get the blackjack on the ones that you, you know, play lower the way to win.
And blackjack is if you're having a run, you have to up your bets. Yeah. That's the only way. If there's some sort of magical thing happening, you could feel it. You have to step it up. But then there's these other rules, like, you know, some people double down every time. I will tell you that most of the times, but if the dealer is like destroying me and nobody at the table is winning and it's like, oh, great, I get to double my bets where everybody is ice cold right now, like sometimes I'll back off and then you could tell the dealer judges you a little bit for it.
I wonder about how many plays it has to be a lot a lot of plays that people wanted to make in the moment but didn't because of the social pressure. So not to not double down on a 14 or this this thing that you felt as a hunch, would you like all these people around me to tell them that if I do that, then everyone to do it and they you just like it and then you get a six seven and you got like, oh, I should have.
Right, that is because it's also people don't want to do things that aren't socially acceptable.
I usually like sitting at third base because. I like to see the cards before me and I and I also know that I'm not going to fuck up at third base because you get that person in third base who's just doing weird shit and screwing up the whole hand for the table. It can shift really fast as anybody ever like. Try to, like, fight your uncle or like been really mad or thrown chips at him or like flipped out in any way or no.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure that's happened, right? Yes. Some is definitely when now he's gotten into some fights and he's he's got some stories about some athletes not to be named that have taken shots at him to take a shot at me, like try to try to fake a play and that not because they try to make it seem like they won when they really lost. So. Right. Right, right. Yeah. He's got some wild stories, man.
Or just even seeing usually only to hear what it's like to look at somebody while they are losing. Three fifty and three out of fifty thousand, and you just watch and and they just crumble it in front, use the gambler next to somebody, just watch it. But we have to. It's a lot of energy to take on, I think, as a job. You don't see it eight hours a day. And this is people. Being impulsive right in front of you is a lot.
Well, one thing, the Vegas the bigger casinos did, especially in the strip in Vegas, is they they made all these subtle tweaks to the rules to try to shift the percentages toward the house. And Vegas was turned into a place where you almost had to find a little bit off the beaten path casinos that had the old squads right through to to blackjack fit the bill to split aces. But it's your decision, little things like that, that really actually help you.
But if you're at like one of the giant casinos, they're just looking for every way to squeeze you because they know you're on the strip. It's a pain in the ass to leave take. You've got to get a in the cab line is I got to fuck it. I'll just gamble here. And then meanwhile, they've shifted the percentages imperceptibly against you. It's frustrating.
Yeah, I would be you know, I would at my heaviest I would definitely be researching on forums I would strip. Casino has decided which ones can you play multiple hands at the minimum bet and all these different things. And looking at sports books, which book got the best line for this one right here.
And this is a look back at Dallas.
What about doing a lot of time I spent on that I research for the Idaho state.
You know, it's funny about craps, though, when you're craps profiling whoever the shooter is trying to decide just by staring at the same lucky or not, who like that guy is a hot girlfriend. I bet he's going to go on a roll.
Yes or no? That person looks trash is certainly the energy thing.
Yeah, because he seems sad. Yeah.
He seems that, you know, he doesn't seem like he even believes. I think women are usually good for at least one. I agree, I feel at least I rarely see a woman just straight up crap out right away on the first go, they usually hit the 7-Eleven once or hit the point once. I think that's that might be. Seventy five percent, I feel like that is where do you stand on the don't come line guy? The guy is by himself, just go and don't come against everybody basically rooting and gets over the table and waiting when they crap out.
He just got to keep a cool. So he can celebrate. Keep it cool, keep it quiet, don't talk to nobody says play your dance and if you win, get your chips and keep that shit quiet.
What NBA stars most likely to bet the don't come on. Who's most likely to bet the don't? Former San Antonio Spurs forward Tim Duncan feels like now don't play.
It's probably somebody that's incorporated advanced metrics in their own game and all the data, because the reality is don't come is probably a better way to bet. It's just not fun at all. It's the most social thing you can basically do in a casino.
Yeah. And is is getting adversarial with me and other people sometimes if I'm shooting, especially if I feel like I'm in a hot zone. Yeah.
And I throw I say you need to take your money off that shit. I take you take your money and that is because I made them at the pick. They shoot up and they kind of stubbornly going for the downs and you hit like three in a row, you pick your shit up and I'll be a mess right here for you. And it was like, what?
We're not we're not going against each other. We're going against the house. What the fuck is this arguing with this other dude is other you need more rivals.
Isn't that the enemy? Is that the enemy? I like when one when you're on a when you're on a roll and then somebody kind of shows up, they hear like there's some applause or some excitement and they show up and they start throwing bets around. But you're in your real slow groove. It's it's almost like you're you're your jump shooter. You've made a few. And then this dudes come in and be like, hold on, I got to spread my shitty ten dollar bets in the twenty places and knock you out of your momentum for thirty six.
I hate that guy. Yeah.
That's why I don't like blackjack solo, but I like to have a solo craps table and you can really get your rhythm you know, and start shooting for numbers and buy is times where I really am just shooting for six eight and filling it and call it in and is and it keeps on, you know, it keeps coming this shit. So that's why I like low and I right next to the touristic pass for the shortest distance from there to the wall.
What's that guy's name to stick person. Is that what he's called. You never knew what the actual job title was for that. The reason I'm talking about this so excitedly is I you know, it's we're in month five of the pandemic. I would love to be at a casino playing blackjack and being around the action. I don't even know when that comes back. There's a lot of like video poker, it seems like, happening right now. It's just it's not as satisfying.
I know a couple of folks has been to Vegas. Yeah. Yeah. With that, what do they have? Like the the device, the glass dividers between the thickness varies.
It varies from casino. But the one one of my friends was that because he had a good hit, my friend Kevin Bozeman had a good head on for car poker, lucky sevens or something he said. But it wasn't no plexiglass or anything. I think just folks wear a mask. I'm not I mean, I'm not playing. But I had this it was a card count documentary that I watched on Amazon and that that made me if I if the world was normal, that would have sent me to Vegas.
I would have I would have spent in Vegas. After watching that, I would have just like, OK, I got it. I'm a card counter to even with no prep. That's because I jump into things with. Doubt the require, perhaps sometimes, oh, I should have I should have worked on it. Yeah, I am jealous of the card counters. There's a couple of celebrities that are apparently can do it, like in a real way.
Well, I think Affleck has been kicked out of casinos. Yeah. But I think in general I wish there was more card counting movies. I wish there was more Vegas gambling. I just don't feel like we've made enough of them. I've seen all of them.
You saw that one. What is it called on Amazon? Is a documentary or movie, a documentary? I haven't seen the card counting documentary, but it was it was pretty good.
It's Inside the Edge is called I'm a Professional Blackjack Adventure. Sorry for spoilers, you can imagine as this guy getting kicked out of places a lot, but it still is. Fascinating to see it happen, how many times a day they get kicked up, in a way, it's a badge of honor. It absolutely if they know this is not you can't do it. We can't do it with you here. You need to leave.
I think it's crazy that people aren't allowed to count cards where it's like the casinos have every edge possible and then somebody could go in there and just be like have a general sense of what's in the pack in the sixth card shoot. And and I was called a shooting, that's a shoe, it's it's one of my things, but that somebody can mentally just process what might be in there and they're like, no, no, you got to go. You've got to go.
Yeah, it's like I'm not cheating. I'm not, like, replacing cards with a different card. I'm just using my brain. How is that illegal?
Yeah. Casinos to you know, it's too flimsy because there's no products. So anything that attacks that is just experience of you messing with that. And I now you gotta you gotta go. Do you remember your first Vegas trip? How old were you.
I was. I was 19 or 20. And it was it was two thousand. Two or three? Oh, that's right, when Vegas was kind of things were happening here, but it wasn't a trip in that way.
I had submitted. At auditioning for his comedy festival, the Las Vegas Comedy Festival, I was going to school in Carbondale, so I auditioned in St. Louis this hour and a half away and they had a college comedian category. I don't be doing comedy a year or so. And so the prize was just you get to go to Vegas and perform at a comedy festival. That was my first kind of time flying for comedy. And so I played. A little bit of blackjack at 10 bucks to ten dollar hands and I was under it and so I lost the second hand, I think I lost, but I lost a second hand and it was 10 bucks and I was 19.
Damn it. Oh, he must be.
As soon as I did, they put me out. Yes. Outburst that probably my son and a couple of years. What led to the comedy special you just did being a YouTube thing versus being on a streaming service? The it was and it was pretty close to being on the streaming service, but then the world started crumbling as they let me try putting it out like this and just see what it will do on YouTube and and try and mix it up a little bit.
So it might end up on a stream or down a road later this year and next year or something. But I was kind of wanted to to put it out first. When did you record it? I recorded in August of last year. At Olympia Theater in Miami. And it was the second time I recorded a lot of the material, some change, but I recorded a show in February of last year and then. I didn't end up liking it, so I scrapped it, which was.
A pretty expensive decision to make it, but it didn't feel right to just that show and what we were trying to do it in and it didn't come across in that first tape. So we had to had to scrap it and then did another tour in July, beginning of August and recorder to get. There's some bells and whistles in this show. Was when when you're in the audience for it, are you getting the same stuff that I'm getting on YouTube with like the auto tune and other like it's this exact same experience, right?
Is it a little bit more stuff in the in the actual in the special? There's a couple added endings then also in a that some bits that. You know, didn't make it, but right, for the most part, yeah, I was trying to you know, it has been said and surprised people a little bit just make it make it real fun and have some a different energy to it. This is especially in the live show, was a hit with certain things hit, you could tell the real surprise from people because it is fun like that.
I really enjoyed it. It was one of those. All of a sudden you were saying good night. And I was like, wait, what? I thought I had like 10 minutes left the last 20 basically the last 20 minutes or so of the special. You talk about how you got arrested for, I guess, what was called drunk and disorderly conduct.
Disorderly intoxication. Yeah.
And you just lay out. The entire story in painstaking detail, yeah, with, you know, your take on everything, but you're using pictures, using video from the TV coverage of it and all the all the misreporting, the background of the cop who then he has some shady stuff pop up and it's just laid out. It's like it's like a 20 minute basically a verbal assassination of the entire experience. It was really good. How much time did you put into that?
I mean, I started doing the material probably right after that happened. That was in December. Twenty seventeen. And so then I had a show in Chicago, around New Jersey, where I attended a rough version of it, and then there was this ad to it. You know, I was telling the story then that news then came out a month after the war as well, while it was really, really late.
And that is bullshit of the news coverage. I felt it felt it was upset. I was just I was really just starting to wind down about that. It was it was a month later. And it is. And more from that bullshit arrest. Right. So, yeah, it's you know, it's still always tweaking it and figuring out different parts. So over the course of a couple of years, get that together and is just something that it was a big arrest and it got dropped without me and I never even showed up to court or anything.
So the fact that they dropped it like that fast. Shows that then that's a failure in the system. And just who they had operated for them at that time and that they don't really stand with what he did. So. A lot of petty policing or a contempt of court type situations, you know, where the ego gets involved. Yeah. And it allows them to just use that system to their advantage just because they have that on you. It's not just words.
It's like you say something. Oh, I have handcuffs.
Was like, oh, I thought we were just speaking. Right. So that's that we put together. I'm so in Miami police, I saw that that just came out a couple of days ago. Yeah, just because I tell you I did, I lost. A decent gig because of that, because we weren't fully clothed and who knows what the other effects of it, but beyond that, I don't think he should have. Been a police officer when I ran into him just based on the type of shit he had gone on before.
We never even interacted. He causes you know, I don't I just I don't think he's fit for a gig. So, so. So you taped all of this a few months ago, and then, you know, about two, two and a half months ago, all of a sudden this country's going through this moment and you have all this material in this comedy special you haven't released yet that's basically in the ballpark of what the conversation is like.
One of the things I appreciate about Lisetta was you just had this on story, but it was in a context of before everything that happened for the last 10 1/2 months, but was still really relevant, everything that happened the last two and a half months. But you weren't overt about it, you know.
I mean, yeah. I mean, it just happened as it happened to be really relevant because of the times.
But, yeah, it's one of those things where there would have been unfortunately so is ongoing conversation. So. Is is is Wildeman. I just. Yeah, I mean, you see, oh, he was choking motherfuckers in bars and like the real like not to repeat it, but the motherfucker they arrested me was running away from the police recently.
So after after a bar fight. Yeah, after a bar fight. What? No thing is even beyond. He followed me into the bar. He escalated the situation when the shit was done, said because I'm too drunk, was like, OK, well, you can't go on to the bar, so I can't go into a bar in front of your eyes, is what you're saying. Because if I walk down a street and go to another place and.
So it's just B.S., that's it. We'll see how it goes. Was that the first time something like that happened? You know? No, I've I mean, I've had scenarios when I was a teenager. And really not doing anything and just getting stopped by the police while jogging my my one or two years of being in shape in high school when I was pregnant for football season, I was on a jog and then cops pull up. Where are you going?
Where are you going? I'm just tired. We had a break in. There's other times when I was, you know, just come from shopping with my Burger King chick. And I was up not too far from my neighbor, but it's a different neighborhood as a different ethnic composition. So. Is see a black kid up there and what was these bags, and I was just coming from Boston work workout to get pulled over for no reason one time was this funny?
Because it is so there was a Toys R US that was at the Brickyard Mall by my place. So I had a feeling phased in high school, you know, I was just kind of still and that's just because of the rush. And so I went to Toys R US and I took this. It was some handheld fishing game. And I got the game, I get out the store five and then. Maybe it's a block up. I see my friends across the street are run up to catch up with them.
They had a police car comes, I see the police. And then I start running. They catch me. And then like, where's the shit, where's the shit, like, pad me down, they got the game, where's the shit?
I you know, I don't know, I thought they were coming after me, but still in the game, they just thought, oh, he's brought up to it. He has crack as nasty as they were searching for drugs. Oh, Jesus.
And so meanwhile, Randall had no idea what his fucking game. Where is. And I was like, if I just kept the cool and then we had to see the next few months playing out here. Next few months, just a general in this country, I don't know, man, or even in. The situation is just I was I saw somebody online, they had a threat going, what a crazy things you thought about the pandemic in March and different.
I just from a work standpoint, I was really planning on touring in the fall. OK, this is going to be a couple of months, but then fall touring is going to be crazy. And because so many people could tour in the spring, then that means that there's going to be a lot of secondary markets is going to give really good cells that they normally don't get. Oh, man. Because people that have to play, you know, Little Rock, Arkansas, because everything else is booked up and all these I had this whole idea of outworker would be and it was and it was very far off.
As far as the country. I don't know, man, this shit is. Is it going to get tense no matter what, around election time, it's going to be weird. That's what I think I'm a. I plan on leaving the country for a few months in October. Good move just to, you know, be in a different zone and. And. Yeah, go somewhere, maybe. I think by October. Things will open up and be able to go somewhere that might have handled this properly or we'll see.
But the crazy thing about election night is election night will be like election month because there's no way they'll know who won on that night like we would in a normal thing. Right. So all the tension leading up to that day is going to be the whole month.
Yeah. And then even if he loses, he's not he's not going out that he'll say, yeah, he'll say something shady happened and there's a discount, all that stuff.
What do you think of how the NBA handled the last few days, the NBA?
I noticed that they well, I don't know if this is live every day or not, but I saw the bucks versus. Late Friday, they played the rockets on Friday. But played no, they play the Rockets Sunday, the Bucks beat beat up somebody on Friday.
Well, I watch that watch so many games I can't remember.
I didn't know debate it. Was it coincidental that both white players on those teams, they had to wear black black lives matter on the Jersey, other people, other teammates, equality and various. Yeah, they every day, I think they had like twenty eight different slogans, you could pick one of the slogans. Yeah. Is, you know, it forces the the convo and I was just thinking the thing about. How this is at some point is going to be old footage, you know, these games, I'll be old in the back 30 years from now for ESPN Classic.
Right. And the people have to have the conversation again or talk or at least talk about what it was and why is he you know, why does he have education reform on his jersey people to talk about the time that kids are going? Yeah, it's I mean, it's been nice to have sports back. I think the conversations have been handled really well and the dialogue that's been started and there's been a sense of normalcy to it, even though nothing's normal.
Right. And even the games are normal and all the stuff they're doing in the lead up to the games, things like that. But then ultimately you get to watch these guys whoop. It feels like. All right, well, at least this feels like kind of life is to be like before March.
Yeah, but if you you know, if you're like native man, you know, and you try to. A lot of people watch basketball now you. Casual fan might be more pressure to get dunked on with justice on your jersey, or it's going to be it's going to be some interesting posters when people get down with these these New Jersey.
So we can find your comedy special laminates on YouTube, on YouTube. It's got it's doing very well. It's it's in seven figures to the seven figures and then the amount of people that have watched it. And then and then stay tuned for everything else. Right. Seems like you're up to stuff. I feel like you're hiding things from me.
You got a couple of big projects going right now.
Those are those are my big projects. News overload. OK, the podcast Blanton's. I'm trying to find out. I'm trying to find a home for that. What? I'm going to put it out independently or find a spot for an. Yes, is that those are the main thing I untuk and you've won seven straight games that you can OK?
Yeah, let's say I'm a new I'm trying to like just really goofy level of click bait for my YouTube channel just to see how that process goes and then now says stuff like that. Four to twenty one now I'm already planning a video game and with live with my friends and we're like, OK, if we don't do it, are we going to do the series? Let's do a video a week, OK? We film on Thursday then and now for the first time ever, I'm playing and video gaming months ahead of time.
But I guess that's what it is to be almost 40 and playing video games. You got to structure this shit.
Have you played an NBA player in 2K? Who's the most famous person you played in 2K? Oh, I don't know. Well, I play I play some I play. Enflaming players seems likely to start a league, start a little little mini celebrity league.
Oh, yeah, you're right. I should organize.
Should you should challenge some people. Yeah, well, let's put it on the table, see who's getting organized. Right. I was fascinated. I think it was like the second month with the pandemic when they ran, they started to run the 2K games between the NBA players. Yeah. And and a couple of them were really good, like really good. And you're thinking like. I can't even imagine how much they're gambling on this, like on a road trip or whatever, like they're in some hotel room at two thirty in the morning and like, Sacramento is like, hey, come up to your room, let's go.
But but I was impressed that that there's a couple of the sons are really good. They had some teammate battles. I think DeAndre Ayton played Devin Booker but was pretty high level.
Yes. Patrick Beverley was talking a lot of trash on there.
Yeah he, he just talks trash anywhere. I think he's probably in the grocery store like talking trash to people. She just needs to do it, especially when there's no basketball. He's got to, he's got to work that muscle.
Hannibal, it's good seeing you because he to congrats on a special good luck with the YouTube channel.
Thanks a lot of. All right, thanks to Spotify, thanks to Hannibal Burress, thanks to Joe House. Thanks to the remarkable podcast, which I forgot to mention we put up to this week, we did a teen Wolf and we did The Sandlot, the Teen Wolf, and I'm really proud of it's it's it's the deep dive you never knew you really wanted for a 35 year old ridiculous 80s movie. So check those out.
Coming back on Sunday night with Rosillo talking about bubble basketball and the PGA tournament and a whole lot more. Enjoy the rest of the week. See some.