Bubble King James, Dak Goes Down, NBA 2021 Futures, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal and Joe House
The Bill Simmons Podcast- 1,404 views
- 12 Oct 2020
The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal and Joe House to discuss the Lakers' 2020 NBA Finals victory, another boost to the LeBron James legacy, NBA 2021 title odds, the official success of the NBA playoff bubble, and more. Next they react to the Week 5 slate of NFL games, including the Cowboys' win over the Giants and Dak Prescott's serious injury, the Chiefs' first loss of the season to the Raiders, Eagles-Steelers, Colts-Browns, the Atlanta Falcons firing head coach Dan Quinn, COVID-19’s impact on the early season, and more. They close with Guess the Lines for Week 6 and Parent Corner.
Coming up, we're going to talk about a very busy sports day with Cousin Sal and Joe House featuring the Lakers 12th NBA title and a lot of football. That's all next. We're also brought to you by the Ringer podcast network and the ring or dot com. If you didn't hear the ring or NBA show on Friday night right after that incredible game five. I went on unplanned with Verno and KFC, I wanted somebody to talk about my family who gone this weekend.
I just wanted somebody to talk about the game with. So if you want to hear our reactions to an epic game, that will probably outlive the series. And a lot of ways you can listen that you can also listen to Logan Murdoch and Raja Bell, their reaction right after the game went up. And and there you go. Coming up, we invited Joe outside me and Sal talking about the 20 20 NBA finals, as well as that Prescott's injury and a whole lot of NFL.
First, our friends from Pearl Jam.
All right, Sunday night, I have dragged my battered body after just through their gambling capped off by the Vikings money line and straight up, which they did cover. But holy mackerel, I have no idea that we're going to get some football later. Joe House is here. We invite them on. Guess the once a year. We did it this year to talk about basketball at the top, but also because I beat sound. Guess the Lions every week.
If House is involved, it actually lowers the odds I'm going to beat you. So you're right, it does help. And we had the guy who won the contest last year and I think we tied as a result. Yeah, and it does help. OK, I welcome this opportunity.
Well, also, we needed house because you lost your quarterback to just a horrible, gruesome injury today, man. So your football season is over by football teams not even playing anymore. And the Lakers are the twenty twenty NBA champions. This is my least favorite podcast I've done in a long time. Oh, you were looking forward to this forever. Like last year. Nothing more has gone on. It's going to be the greatest sports side of the year.
Yeah, it was it. Thanks for having me on the opportunity. Come on a Sunday night and call Kyle. OK, I'm here. I'm here for you. I'm back. Maybe. Let's talk about the one highlight today, J.R. Smith grabbing the Lawrence O'Brien trophy before any of the other Lakers touched it. That was you see that?
So I did see that. Yeah, I think he played a total of 40 seconds. And it's always it's always either the owner, the coach or the best player, J.R. shirtless, or maybe he had a shirt out at that point. It just grabs it. That lunatic Laker team said, well, what was it like for you from a betting standpoint before?
Well, first of all, I'm glad it wasn't a good game because my heart couldn't take it, like you said, between Dak and then what ended up being this Sunday night craziness. And we all had the chiefs on the money line and how they blew that, I have no idea. But yes, I mean, as you know, I had LeBron all over the place for MVP. I had the Lakers to win the title. And I'm just glad it's over.
I think everyone's glad it's over. Is there anyone who's not glad it's over? I mean, I think we were becoming a little fatigued from bubble basketball just in general. But, yeah, enough's enough. The Lakers are the best and they get to walk with the trophy, gets to that house. I think I agree with that was an incredible amount of of of hours of basketball that we watched basically starting since the end of July. And I honestly need a break from Mark Jackson, maybe a couple of months, maybe.
Maybe I don't want to break up with him, but maybe a hiatus.
Why don't you want to break up with him? I'm trying to be nice. You OK?
Well, that's that's very generous of you. I will say this. I found the nights when it was the only big time thing going on to be incredibly invigorating. And the Twitter dialogue was excellent and our text threads were excellent. When it ran up against football. It was just too much. It was it was overload. So if this game had been Wednesday coming up, I think it would have been still delightful, still intriguing. Still all the angles.
I agree with you boys. One hundred percent, obviously, it being over halfway through the second quarter was a relief because it meant I could go eat the half pizza that I wanted to eat. I had a calzone waiting for me as well. I enjoyed those and then eased into the Minnesota Seattle game while nothing was happening. And the basketball, the only drama for me, I bet the under under two fifteen. That was a giant winner. So yeah, I got worked out great.
So you actually won money in that series. Congratulations. What did you have. You like the heat. Just because it would have been fun.
I had today had the Lakers MONEYLINE again. All right. But I had them tied with the Steelers at the Chiefs price. And actually I was I was many sports.
I was like one percent concerned enough about the Chiefs trap game coming off a Monday night with Buffalo next week. And I looked up the Chiefs Raiders results last year and they just killed the Raiders last year, it sounds like. Oh, they're fine. And then you watch the game and it was clear within about a quarter and a half something was wrong. But with the Lakers, I. I thought that they should have won Friday night. I mean, they got Danny Green had an unbelievable look.
Mm. He's going to make that some of the time it was. But then Morris gets it. But it just it felt like the heat had really pulled that one out of there. But and then to try to come back and do it again when they were playing Dragic that was when I was like Oh man, they're really searching for something here but that tough to watch.
I like the Danny Green. Did you see him running through the halls saying we're fucking free, we're fucking free. Yeah. You could have been free two nights ago that shot where nobody was within 40 feet of you.
Yeah. True of their defense was awesome tonight. And I think, you know, we asked we see this every year with the especially when we get to not crunch time in the last two rounds, the team that can throw the twenty minute defensive kind of kick ass session like that usually ends up winning the title. And they really had a level that they could go to defensively that I don't feel like anybody else had. Uh, that was always the distinguishing factor with this Lakers team going back a full calendar year.
It was the thing, you know. Yeah. October of last year, coming into the season before everything went insane and the whole goddamn world Lakers defensive identity was the, you know, real defining aspect of that team and people we've made fun of Caldwell Pope. We took a lot of shots at him. Yeah, well, he's a classic example of a guy who was, you know, brought along great situation for him. Right. Right. Guy at the right time.
And, you know, his play was buoyed by having two all time, you know, top one hundred players as teammates. So you're saying Sal could have done that? I think that's true.
He's not a bad stroke. Thank you. But it's a little. Draga, let me watch what it I'm totally satisfied with this Lakers win. I don't put an asterisk by it who screwed up, who screwed up a better scenario, better finals, what would have been better playoffs, more the Clippers or the Celtics?
Who screwed? I think the right team won. I think they're the those two guys together was better than anything else. Any anybody had the Celtics series? You know, I don't think it would have gone much differently. Milwaukee was probably the team. As weird as the sounds, that would have been the most problematic for them because the big guys added to the bubble.
Yeah, I remember I remember this like five weeks ago. I disagree with that.
But that's fine. Now, I'm just saying from a matchup standpoint, I don't think anybody was going to was going to beat this Lakers team with those guys playing like that. But, you know, I still feel like if Dragic had been out, you could even see it today with him on one leg. All of a sudden, bam, getting involved on those on those runs to the rim and this stuff like that, that was the stuff they weren't getting here or wasn't ready to play at that level.
I thought it was a really noble effort by Miami even to to take that to six. But I thought we had to mention LeBron, who won some money.
We do. You guys fought me and fought me on this, I said the Lakers win this at minus three thirty states, that there's just no way I read the jerseys. There's no way LeBron is not getting MVP and he did everything to deserve it anyway. I think he outrebounded Anthony Davis along with scoring.
I actually think that that was his best finals. I think out of all, the finals is one. Yeah. Like, I don't know if the stats back this up, but just I test I don't feel like he ever took a night off, even in even in games that they were the the game three and game five. It's not like he had like awful games or anything.
He was shooting great. He was he's figured out that bully ball thing in a really significant way when he needs to get to the to the paint. He's just getting there now. And he's like Karl Malone. Size is also shoot threes. His passing is as good as it's been. It's it's a little weird, though, that they're grasping on to the seventeen title thing. You guys are innocent bystanders. So the first five were in Minneapolis. Yeah, that's bad.
Yeah. So they claim those and that's like the seventeenth. Whatever. George Mikan, who is the best player of the first ten years before Russell was the best guy in those Minneapolis teams and he was like the league's first great player. True or false, his number is not retired in the Staples Center. Oh, we can't say no one's been in the Staples Center for months. You can't really say for sure. Is that true?
His number is not retired. So they have no connection to this guy. They didn't put his jersey up there. Right. But they're claiming the banners just because they're padded their numbers. I think it's bullshit to me. It's that they won their 12th title that said I'm not the guy. I'm so surprised to hear you say that. I can't believe you would look for an opportunity to denigrate the All-Time Record of the L.A. Lakers. I don't care. You can say whatever you want.
It doesn't matter to me.
Do you feel that the whole thing is like the dot is if you do this with the Dodgers and the Brooklyn Dodgers, not that the Brooklyn Dodgers won a ton of championships, but Brooklyn, Brooklyn Dodger fans hate the L.A. Dodgers like. Yeah, don't put it together. It's not even like they were an offshoot little brother, little big brother, like, no, no, no, they can't stand it. There's bad blood. Probably not as much between Minnesota and L.A., but, yeah, it's got to be there a little bit.
Yeah, well, the LeBron thing, the three titles on three different teams where he's the best guy. Impressive. Yeah.
A nice of a nice little caveat for him when, when we're comparing him against Jordan when he retires for finals MVP. So impressive. It's a high number and I just think there's no holes and there weren't really any holes in his game for the last, say, eight weeks, he was really locked in. And I was talking to somebody that was there and they were saying how high the quality of the basketball was. And I do think, like, you remove all the distractions and really there's not a lot going on and you're just focused.
That's the same arena every day. There's no fans you deal with, no bullshit. You're just hooping. And it really did lead to some great stuff like that. Game five, I thought, how is that? We I don't think we talked that for the game. That was an iconic finals game. It was it was absolutely insane. It was scintillating. It was incandescent. We don't get that. Two best players going back and forth like that, it feels extremely rare and it was just a delight.
I couldn't have enjoyed it more with such a LeBron game to. Right. Which was I surprised you that they lost. And this is really, really grasping for straws here. But I felt like Kobe deserved a Game five ending with the Lakers on top more than the way it ended up. You know, it was anticlimactic for an hour and a half. Obviously, all the accolades afterwards and in the interview and the interview cracks me up like LeBron is, like they're basically rolling around on the ground, he and Eydie.
And then when it comes time to do the interview, very focused, very like, come on, LeBron, just be happy. This is not like the Stanley Cup where you're celebrating with the toothless teammates. And then you got to put on their sad face and shake hands with everybody. Like, just keep it going for two minutes week. Right. We get it's not the most important thing going on in the world, but.
Well, had to have been a little weird to win a title. Not in like a stadium that had a ton of fans is an empty chair. It was a little weird. I think the crazy thing and I talked about the game five, I went on Ringer and I was so excited after that game, I just invited myself on the podcast, but Butler was able to match him. And then you see tonight, Butler was normal, right? He didn't like like half decent game, like 13 points seem seemed spent.
And LeBron is still just at the same level. He's like, hey, I'm still here. Where are you? And Butler? Just that just shows how amazing LeBron is. That's it. That's the true mark of LeBron genius. That is the thing that he'll go down in history. He's number one in playoff games played in the history of the NBA. He's number one in minutes played and he has never missed one single playoff game. Yeah, that is some legendary shit that he's a B the bad, bad man.
Are you still sick of Mark Jackson?
I like that he said that in the post game because I don't think he gets enough credit for that. He never missed a game. That's a problem. Yeah, it's I don't know the full record, but, you know, even like Bill Russell missed the playoff game. Yeah, it's a record because he's played more than three seasons worth of playoff games. Right. A hundred and sixty playoff games. Well, you would think like there would have been one moment where one bad things stepped on somebody's ankle, anything.
It's every ball. But I remember writing about this a couple of years ago and joking about it like he's one of those guys when he gets hurt, like if his leg came off, you would expect him to just put it back on. Right. It's like, oh, can you get my right leg? It's over there. And he just like, puts it back and goes. Is that a Dak Prescott joke? I'm not sure.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Alex Smith just like works wasn't ready. That was the Alex Smith thing gets the Rams defense was the scariest moment today. I did not enjoy that. All right. So what did we do wrong? Did we make did we make enough smart bets with the NBA bubble? Because I was all over the Miami thing and somehow I feel like I didn't I didn't capitalize as much as I should have. And then the Lakers.
You knew they were winning tonight? Yeah. And I should've just done it straight up. I didn't. But what I would betting trends would you see from the last ten weeks. So I screwed up with the I. So you didn't lose on this one. I lost the most money on Boston over Toronto. And I know you try to talk me out of it like this. Going to be a good series or not. Toronto, what did I say?
Miami by Miami. Sorry. Miami. Boston. Yeah. You thought it's going to be close. You thought Miami could even pull it out? I didn't want to hear any. That's that's the thing I can't tell with you if you're pulling a little hole. No, I told you Miami was going to beat us. I know they should be favored. But this one said, you never know with you if you're just saying that. So it looks.
It looks.
No, I don't I don't mess with my own team. I'm always all right. I'm always at least trying to be honest. That's where I lost. I don't know. I have odds for next year if you want to go over them.
I do. How sweaty you were down. I regret not joining style on LeBron for MVP. It was sitting there at a reasonable price. It was less than two to one. It was minus one seventy at the outset of the playoffs. Just a nice easy Hegde. If the Lakers, when he wins, you don't have to bet the Lakers that would have been a nice parlay if the book would have accepted it.
What is it? What does it bother you? Scale one to ten Rondo winning a title in L.A..
So I love Rondo I he's the only Laker I like. You know I'm I'm fine with Rondo. We traded him. Yeah.
I mean we literally could still bother you though. It's not like I like Rondo I, I'm glad he's still doing Rondo things. I was, I was a big fan of his, my big win. I didn't have a lot of wins with this Lakers thing. Obviously it's my least favorite basketball team.
Dwight Howard almost getting a DMP. I feel like we won that one house belatedly. We, like this guy, cannot be a center on a championship team. And then when push came to shove game. Six Voegele is like. Yeah, I have a seat, buddy. You're going to come in with about 90 seconds left to take a 20 footer and make it straight to the boxcar, but I felt vindicated by that. So I think anything else, Frank Vogel, Bogle's NBA champ, I mean, you know, that was that's a they did exactly what they were supposed to do.
The Lakers organized the organization. They got serious. Right? They created they went through the pain and agony of the discombobulated season where they had LeBron, but no other pieces around them. LeBron shut it down halfway through. There was all the front office turmoil. They cleared away all that nonsense, built a great framework for the best opportunity they could make for themselves. They got Ayyad in the house and then they followed it through. Under the crazy circumstances possible.
I give them all the credit in the world and the the Magic Johnson kind of pretending that he didn't exist today. It was interesting to me because remember, there was a hole that he brought LeBron in Los Angeles and all that stuff. And then when it all went downhill, got how many months ago is that now? Like April? Twenty. Nineteen and. Yeah. And he did that long press conference, but then tried to take the high road.
And then when I first take and called Palanca said he was a backstabber. Right. Right, right. Kalinka was right there in the middle of everything looking like Rob Lowe.
He thanked his sister Jeanie Buss on Twitter. He said, I think I want to thank my sister, which I'm not familiar with.
Oh, I didn't know that they were genealogy. But the incredible look, I'm the doctor, OK?
Jeanie Jeanie speech was a little long. I felt like if you're the owner, it's like I'm going to thank the players. This great organization. I wish my dad was here. Then you hand it off.
There's no fans to boo. You just go forever for two hours if you want. But the playoffs. So I had huge a plus. I thought it did everything they ever wanted from it. Yeah. They raised awareness that a bunch of different ways. The basketball is great. I thought the players distinguish themselves in an awesome way. We had some some unbelievable performances. The Boston Toronto series had some had some great ones. Yokich two rounds at Raluca Jim Murray.
The Murray Mitchell battle was great. And I mean, think about just Loukia in the first round.
That feels like a lifetime ago. Yeah, right. We had these all these incredible Lillard Lillard exactly unbelievable three. Oh yeah we had the elimination game with Memphis. Portland. That was fun. That's really good. Really good. Well that's good. Especially when you see by comparison what the rest of the sports is like. Now we're clinging to life with this football stuff. But Chris Paul get a ring. I mean we, we are now forgetting all of a sudden I think how close we were to the season falling apart.
Like in a way he convinced or, you know, laid the foul, found the baseline for LeBron coming back. It looked like LeBron was going to quit.
Right. We went to basketball. It definitely got dicey a couple of times. Yeah. This is a great I mean, I give those dudes a lot of credit being sure. I know. I know. They're multibillionaires. They're in suites in the hotel. And it's not like they were like sleeping in sleeping bags. But that's a long time to try to stay focused and, you know, stay off social media because they're just in their hotel room house.
You do a lot of are used to a lot of traveling and only until March of twenty twenty. I had been on the road thirty straight months, at least once a month. I was in New York or L.A. or some other part of the country and I absolutely, positively did those guys with that commitment and how seriously they took the effing pandemic.
Right. I'm believable like they as an industry, they have the means to protect themselves, to create a system that that's going to put them in the best possible position to have a successful season. And they pulled it off, but it took all of them, however many it was like with a thousand people, all fifteen hundred people all in. They all did it. It was an incredible achievement.
I think maybe they'll give you a ring house after they hear about your streak of one day a month for 30 months. I mean, that's pretty spectacular. I know all about the five star lotions. Let me fix the cell tower by the lotions because in advance, what kind of low should you have overall?
There was I don't I don't need to call anymore. I know who's got the best lotion. Coming up, we're going to talk a little football. I want to go back there for a second. You don't want to. Next year's lines.
Real quick odds now. All right, fine. I'll just do it this way. Lakers are favored plus three eighty. Clippers plus four sixty. This is our friends and fan. I can read vandalise, right? Oh yeah.
Bucks plus six forty. Then you got two teams of thirteen and one. Who are they. Your Celtics says to be CELTA. Dallas now, not even now.
Who is it, the Nets 13, a one stop golden for the Golden Warriors, Golden State 14.
Well, I would have said the Warriors at 32. And then you have the heat at 15 to one and house. Your wizards are 80 to one. It's not terrible now. It could be 800 to one. That would be the same. Golden State's 14 one. Yeah. Let's get on it. Oh, that's pretty. I got to say, that's pretty enticing. I want to put one hundred on it right now because they had the second pick in the draft and wigan's contract to have a future Minnesota pick like they have could be fun moves that they're trying to maybe get.
How's this guy, Bradley Beal. So when are they going to play again?
Simmons February, March and the January. Right.
I can honestly say that they have no idea really. OK, why owners want fans. That's a fair request. I want fans, we have fans. You have owners who want to have games in their arenas, some of some of whom paid for their arenas. And they want to have fans there and they're watching this football thing very closely, which is going terribly. I'm going to be magnanimous for one second. Congratulations to the Laker fans on your twelfth title.
You go Bill back to Bill at his best twelve titles. This is a really great number. That's one more than Bill Russell. Come back. We'll talk about missing quarterback.
All right, so just when you thought the Cowboys season couldn't get any worse, you have some bets. Didn't you bet them to have the best record in the. Oh yes and yes, I did. NFC, do you have the best, best record in football? I thought that I didn't have Dak. I had them to win the NFC East, which is not impossible still.
But walk us through that. This is a tough one for you. Look, I made a deal myself years ago. I came on your podcast and I told you about my blood diamond moment when Tony Romo was a holder at the time and quarterback. He botched the snap against Seattle. And I told the wife, I'm like, I got it. We got to go to a movie after this or something. They lost a playoff game as a result.
And we saw Blood Diamond. And I cried and I vowed, I'm not going to have that moment anymore. It just doesn't matter anymore. Also, I could put into perspective that this Cowboys team is not beating the Ravens in Tampa in February. They're not beating the Chiefs. So I'm able to look ahead and not worry too much. That said, this is close to emotional as I got when Dak is there and he points to his hideous foot.
I mean, you're almost hoping, like, oh, my God, I hope his foot came out of a sneaker because otherwise that does not look that looks so gruesome that I'm going to look away and I know the result and then add to it like you got Romo calling it, like what must be going through his mind. Romo's calling DACs injury. And you got the coach, Jason Garrett, hovering over, over, over Dak like, holy shit, this is an incredible moment.
Then they will move away and he's crying. And I'm like, it doesn't get any worse than is in for a Cowboys fan. I feel like a lot of team, whoever you root for, you could make a case that your season ends three or four times during that year, like, oh, that's it. How many times you say our season's over? That happens like three or four times during a game. Like I say, our season's over.
Like they'll come back and I'll lose it. And just the same, like Andy Dalton's fight is ended on the best quarterback in the NFC East, I think he might be right. Yeah, it's certainly not worse than Wentz, so I don't know what to think. Yeah. Wentz is obviously the only comparison. Well, so I went through this in in 08 after the eighteen and one season, and Brady got hurt eight minutes into the into the season in week one.
And you go you go through like the seven stages. This was different because he's limping. Feel like that's bad. I hope he doesn't have time to brace. This one was like the bad and then and then Dag's put on his ankle and it's going like to the right. Yeah. And you just knew. And then we have Tracy Wilson comes in a half hour later, like, guys, it is an ankle dacs out for the game like.
Yeah, we know Tracy. We saw his ankle pointing sideways.
We got a lot more upset than it should have said that that check in, please. I know it's not her fault, but for God sakes, we had it. It wasn't a shoulder injury house. What's the worst injury you've had for somebody and your favorite team? What are you talking about? Not only did I have Joe Theismann. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Giants like the first of those bad leg things. But Alex Smith almost died two years ago.
Yeah. And that was with the season where, you know, there's a reasonable hope for the Washington professional, almost professional might be professional football team to go like eight and eight or nine and seven and be competitive that year. The defense wasn't terrible, but it immediately went off the rails at that moment. They had a winning record when he went out at that point. But there's plenty of those kinds of injuries.
I mean, John Wall, I can say that with a straight face anyway. The dak one's tough because. It especially with the whole contract thing, which I know people will, you know, it's going to be a big deal, this people this is what athletes do because you could go over to snap all that stuff. But I was one of the first things I thought of, like, oh, man, this sucks. He didn't even get the guaranteed awesome contract.
And if it's like the Hayward injury, Hayward was in the same for two years. Yeah. You know, and it seemed like it was the same injury. Right. It was dislocated ankle and a compound fracture was aware that it was like the Alex Smith like as soon as it goes, you know, I was thinking to myself, good for Dak. He doesn't have to deal with these losers and be on this loser team. And then I'm thinking, shit, it's not like that's not like he's definitely back next year when the bone goes through the skin, it is like the Alex Smith thing.
It could there could be infection and all that stuff. But I'm going to I'm going to make a weird statement here that he may get the contract. Now, Jerry Jones is very strange and emotional with these things. So this might be what put him over the top in a weird, weird way. We won't know, obviously, if the prognosis is as bad as it could be. I'm completely wrong. But if it's somewhere in the middle or on the low end, maybe this is maybe this is a wake up call for Jerry to sign them to a long term contract.
Well, wouldn't that be an enormous gesture by Jerry? Right. And that can now compromise. Right. Like, you don't need the the upper echelon extra. Thirty five million. Just take one hundred million over four years. That's still pretty good. Whenever you could play and take fifty million of it guaranteed. That's right. That's better than whatever the insurance policy is going to pay. Right. I got to say, I don't understand why these injuries don't happen more often because I think especially since our TVs got bigger and the picture got clearer and it feels like there's fifteen of these a game where you don't understand how somebody's leg didn't go sideways or somebody falls into the back of an offensive lineman, Slager, somebody plants and their foot gets stuck.
I'm always aware of this, I think, more than I've ever been. I think it's just because our TVs are nicer. It's the picture so clear you can really see it everything.
And I think in your sport, I think basketball all the time. I don't know how it doesn't happen. Every forty five seconds someone doesn't land on another player's ankle and twist it and they're out for the game month year.
Well I really like Dak. I was, I was enjoying his whole garbage time, you know, put up four hundred four to fifty yards of the receivers are great. Cooper, Cooper start for you anywhere. What's going up. My son has a fantasy team.
I don't know what to do with Cooper. He takes himself out of like every other series. He's he's Anthony Davis, but without the scoring factor anymore. And they have so many weapons they don't even get of the house. Yeah. The quarterbacks of the three guys in this phone call, Andy Dalton, Jared Stidham, Alex Smith. Well, actually, how the mighty have fallen is going to come back.
I think we just you can't really we can't really have Alex Smith go out there and start football games.
It's Kyle Allen was half decent. Alex Smith. It was really terrifying to watch.
It was terrifying. I did not enjoy it. I didn't I didn't like it. I turned that game. I had I had the four pack with the four games on it. When he came in, I took it off.
I said, I can't do it. It was weird. And Twitter made it worse because everyone took it on as their cause. And I like this is my it's like I'm watching my son right now. It's like, oh, please, please don't do this. This is it's bad enough. But yeah, you're just hoping for him not to get hit and. Yeah. Thanks a lot. I mean, this is House in terms of the management skills of the Washington team.
This might be at the top of the list for the worse. Like this guy didn't even get hit in practice. And it's like, I'll go out there. I want you to meet Aaron Donald. Hopefully he'll show mercy on you. Won't kill you. Right?
Right. We haven't been able to block these guys yet again. Go on in there, Alex. But I stopped watching when they got their sixteenth sec. I don't know what the ultimate number was, but when they got to sixteen, that was enough. I don't need to see anymore, Donald, that it was. And so somehow your team won or won first place, two and three. I'm not very excited, like I said. But they did win that game.
Yeah, it didn't didn't look good for a while. I don't even know what to say about the game itself. What did you think? They had a chance to pull it off. Thirty seven.
Thirty four I, I just think Danny Daibes is the master of I'll take you very close and then we won't actually win because because of the two dumb things I did during the game. Yeah. He's too sloppy with the ball.
I don't know if that's fixable. I think he's only played one game in his career where he didn't turn the ball over which and all the defenders, when they go at him, it's clear like they were banging at home and practice. Right. Hit this guy. Make sure you go after the ball like the guy hit the ball. So Dallas is two and three. Phillies one and three, Washington's one in four and the Giants are on five. So the Giants are on five and they're two games back.
Yeah, Eagles, I think we're looking at seven, eight and one, so if the Cowboys could go eight, eight, I think that's a I think that's a division champ right there. How close do you watch that Eagles game? I was watching closely and it was very strange because it looked like it was pretty flukey without Chase. Claypoole, I don't know what is Pittsburgh do that game, but it was that Myles Sanders was like a third 10.
Right. And all of a sudden it's like a seven. It just seemed like Pittsburgh was going to win thirty five to three and then that run kind of changed it. And then that tight end for the Eagles. So I watch football every weekend. I can't say I knew who that guy was. Fulgham Fulgham, like a week ago. And now now he's Kellen Winslow. Nineteen eighty Edmodo. They're throwing like kind of lob passes. He's just jumping up over dudes and when it does make tight ends, Gray really does the most with tight ends and any other quarterback out there.
I'm so frustrated how these the Steelers find these receivers. Yeah. The Patriots since Belichick has shown up, we drafted Dan Branch and Edelman. I think we're the two guys we've had in twenty years. The Steelers get a guy like every year they have a new guy. And then there was like Claypole, who you have in your fantasy team. And then they're like, they run something with McCloud. Who's McCleod? Yeah. Yeah, another guy. You play with the fuck returner.
But yeah, they just they, they know Ray Ray McCloud. His name is Ray Ray.
They know how to find these dudes. They have speed. I don't love their running back. I'm not a huge Connor fan, but I didn't do much.
It seemed like he electrified him, but it was like fifteen for forty four. But yeah, they mix that up too with McFarlan and Snell and it's something different every day. But yeah, McCleod was the big run of the game. I think it was like sixty three yards. Yeah.
I'm that I need to, I don't have an opinion on Pittsburgh yet. Well that's a contender or not. That's the best division right now. Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Cleveland. Yeah. And then root for Joe Barrow that Joe recovers. Yeah.
Well I want to talk. No I'm not sold on them either. You know, it was Michael Conrade week. Let the memorial let's be careful out there, be careful out there, house tonight, house. I ran my million dollar picked by house. I really thought it was the week of the underdog, you know, the big money line underdogs coming through, so I picked four of them and tried to cross pollinate with all the different. And so we had the Raiders, which was not on my list.
They ended up covering what was their money line plus five hundred. They have probably five. Twenty five. Was it that. And I thought I thought maybe I got a five twenty five and then the Dolphins that Niners game was over and five said oh man, didn't have a chance. So and then what were they. They were like probably like three fifty three. Sandy. Yeah. Right in there. And then we had the Giants over the Cowboys really seemed like it was going to happen.
And then the Vikings Seahawks, which we'll talk about that later. You had two of those. You had two winners. I took four. I took I hope to join them. Oh, yeah. I just did. I did.
Sixty round robin, round robin, everybody.
And I was seven to hit two of these. Yeah. And then the Jags were they weren't like a huge one, but that was another one where if you actually watch the game they were right in it, they kept blowing it inside the twenty yard line. I certainly was that impressed with Houston, but so I think that was the week. I think that was weirdo week. Right.
That's the one we should have pounced on. Right. Yeah. This week five I, I think we got it out of the way now. Oh good. All right.
Well I want to know how I'm going to recoup that money I lost on the chiefs and all those fucking teams are just name but either. Yeah it was disgusting always. Yeah. About that cheetah we talk about the chiefs like are you talking you said earlier, like they played like they might be looking ahead to the bills, whatever the hell that game is now and now it's next Monday. But I think these teams should not look ahead to another game.
And I know it's hard to say about an athlete to just turn it on every single game, but especially this year, play this one like it's your last because you never know who on the other team you're playing is going to test positive and if it ever is going to stop and it's just going to spiral out of control, you know. But yeah, the chiefs are now now every division is up for grabs. Right? I mean, maybe you don't believe the Raiders are true contender, but they're right.
They're. I don't know what to make of the chiefs with their offensive line, which seems like it really does have trouble a blocking people and be really terrible, holding penalties at the worst possible times which seem to set them back. Also, like the rookie who is is fun, right? When he's in space, it's great. But the way they're using them, I'm not sure it's the right use of them where they're like trying to use them as this inside runner.
And he's like five two hundred and twenty pounds. And it just seems like they need that get that change of pace. Latavius Murray type of right guy like somebody with some size for certain plays, especially like third and short stuff like that, having only had like 10 carries. But and I don't I don't feel great about them. They had a guard that tore tendons in both knees in one one play.
Yeah. Yeah. Their problem is not on offense, by the way. They gave up 40 points to the Raiders. They have a scheme problem. And the thing that I really, really regret and resent is Sal knows this. Some dumb sportsbook paid out the Chiefs to win that division this week. I saw it in the Twitter feed. How did we not immediately go jump on the Raiders?
Obviously, that was the easiest bet on the whole effing board. And that dumb ass book was that paid out anybody you had to lay five hundred bucks for on the Chiefs to win the NFC? I mean, the AFC West and they threw four games like up. If you have that ticket, we're paying it out. I mean, obviously they did the math on however many dummies put their money on. It is like a good media ploy for us.
This is good publicity for us.
But still, that would have been a good moment because of your point. The point Bill just made is exactly that division is now wide open. The Chargers are not pushovers in that division and. Well, Denver is. But, you know, yeah, it's weird because I just watched the Raiders. They didn't have drugs in the game. They had a couple defensive injuries during the game when they played the Patriots. So I was watching them really close to that game.
And they just didn't strike me as very good. Like when I threw the Chiefs and the big my big Prahlad this week, they're minus six fifty and other. Once I looked up to make sure that they wasn't one of those weird division rivalry games that were super close every year, I was I didn't think about it again. I was worried about the Pittsburgh Philly game.
Yeah. They killed traditionally Killam. I mean, especially that seven straight wins at Arrowhead.
Well, Nancy Nelson Aguilar make a catch. Like, no way. That guy retired four years ago. I don't want to hear this crap. It's like the guys like that, in addition to drugs and all those guys in CA putting up CA, I think I was like, does he have thirteen touchdowns, one interception show. He was going to say the forty MVP this year. I thought Carr was terrific. Yeah. He, he had a couple of deep throws that he had to hit and he fucking hit the guys in stride.
What more do you ask for. They were down to scores twice in this game. The Raiders, the Chiefs were up by two scores, twice at least in this game. And this is the single worst loss that Mahomes has had in his entire NFL career and points to the Raiders.
The thing with the Raiders and car was like, we always made fun of about the check downs and all that stuff. And it seems like Gruden is really forcing him now to throw downfield. And when they throw downfield and he hits a couple, it it opens up everything for them, their offense. I mean, they they dominated the second half. Yeah. They were shown the stats and it was like Raiders. Two hundred and forty yard second half chiefs twenty two.
It was an ass kicking. It almost wasn't an upset like they really outplayed them. And yet and I know you hated this for the night game. They still needed that fourth and one conversion which didn't really make sense. But I'm a guy Gruden. Just keep the ball out of Mahomes hands and they converted and then give him the ball back. And that was that was the way to do it. I know you didn't like that for the Minnesota game.
Yeah, I want to talk about that.
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Your first order is just five dollars. Get Román dot com slash bill. Eligibility requirements and additional terms apply. I had the Vikings plus seven but I said the Vikings money line. I had them parlayed in a couple of things and I understand the math and this happens time to time and football and a team does something that the math tells them to do and they don't get it and then they lose their business. No, no. Actually, that was the right move.
I still feel like the math doesn't take account situations in here, there are two specific situations. One is Russell Wilson's the on the other side. And if I don't get it now, I'm up five. And Russell Wilson is absolutely going to go down the field and score. That's how I felt betting on the viscose, watching it. The second thing was, I know this is stupid, but it's the fucking Vikings. My best friend Jeff is a Vikings fan.
We're texting during the game about this is the greatest hits of all the dumb Vikings losses. Like you, you could you could they do this every year, five times a year. And this was like the quintessential terrible Vikings thing. So it's like it's almost like whatever they were going to do in that situation, they're probably going to have fucked with. But I would rather be up eight. I'd rather make him go the field than I'd want to make him get the two point when they don't really have a good running game.
But but don't you OK, if he was going to go 80 yards and score, let's say they do get the two point conversion or whatever, they kick the field goal and they go up eight and they get the ball to twenty five, he's going to go seventy five yards and score. Right. If you think, oh, we got to keep it out of Russell Wilson's and then you're looking at it, but then I still get 020, I still get a T, I mean he had ninety five yards, it was fourth and ten.
What that shit had D back like overran the ball by 15 yards. I think Metcalf brought it down like there was, there was so many opportunities as it was. He got down there with a minute nine and a timeout at the twenty five. I don't know, I just, I don't, I never killed coaches for being, you know, trying to take the ball out of the MVP's hands, whether it's Mahomes or Wilson. And they were running all over them, except it was the left side that they were devouring.
But they brought it up. Right. And that Madison looked unstoppable and place Dalvin Cook house.
Did you like it or you didn't like it? I prefer the points in that instance. I absolutely, positively understand the math. I almost always want to play the percentages, but I have that same completely irrational fear of Russell Wilson even kicking. The field goal also has the effect of taking away, what, another four seconds, whatever it takes to kick a field goal and then whatever it takes. You know, if you don't kick it through the end zone on the kick back, like every second you could take away from Russell Wilson, you put in your own bank.
And the idea of creating for Seattle the requirement that they score twice with the touchdown and the two point conversion. Yeah, it just feels like it's dumb. I understand the percentages. I don't disagree. Sal's point is absolutely well founded. They were gouging the Seahawks on the ground when it came down to a single play, a single stop. And the Seattle defense was up for it for just that one moment. And it's all it took. And, you know, your calls were brought up a good point.
He said if the fans are screaming down at that end zone, they probably don't go for it. Right. They probably can't hear their own cadence, but they don't go for it ends up in fourth and sixth. They fall, start or whatever.
But, well, here's where I stand in case the situation ever comes up again. I'm just going on the record. I get the math, I support the math. But if I'm going against Wilson or Rodgers or Mahomes and if I don't get it, I'm just going to lose because those guys are going to go out on the field and score up kicking the field goal. I want to go up by eight. Just get those three guys. Those are the three guys.
Anybody else who would be on that list, let's say? Right. Used to be Tom Brady. But, you know, yeah, I'm OK. I'm OK with the math against Tom Brady at this point of his career. But, you know, there was a really interesting thing that Collins was said near the end when he was talking about Wilson telling them about DK Metcalf.
Did you know? I don't think I did. It was when I can't remember if it was after he scored or after he cut the long pass, but Collinsworth was like, you know, Russell told us he thinks DK Metcalf can be one of the greatest receivers of all time. Wow. And he's like, I just want to be the Montana to his Jerry Rice. And he just dropped that. I was like, no, get it. Russell Wilson thinks that because I don't feel like Russell Wilson would make that up, you know, or like exaggerate that.
And that's like really high praise to say that that made me think like mad. Imagine, because I got to say, Carol told me that, too. And we were doing the Pete Carroll Steve Kerr pide. We would talk like there and before and after and stuff. And he was like, Dick Metcalf is like really great. Like really, really, truly great.
It was like, all right, you don't know if he's being a coach or whatever, but he might he might be he might have it over and over again in these games he's making.
You know, that fourth and ten play was ridiculous. Well, that why wouldn't you love a guy who gets like 70 percent of the 50 50 balls? That's his thing. In addition to going over the middle and everything else he does, he's kind of the perfect specimen for that position. Yeah, it's hard. But Russell Wilson, you don't know if he's if these guys are good or he just makes everybody better. And unfortunately, like, Metcalf fell and he falls into that speare there.
And I think, like, yeah, Russell had a stick up for him there and say, no, no, no, this guy's great.
Well, I think yeah, I think normally that's the case. But I think in this case, it really seems like this guy might be special. It's crazy because, you know, he almost fell out of the second round. Yeah. And remember, there was all that stuff about he was like an Instagram, whatever. You took MacLaurin over him, right? Yeah, right.
Great draft first and then really don't even regret it. I love MacLaurin. Yeah.
We took Harry and I do regret it.
I have a lot of regrets. He scored a couple of weeks ago. I thought, oh my God.
Let's let's go to speaking of Brady. Let's go to watched watch. Let's this is a new segment starting washed. Watch where this is going. Phil Rivers. I know. I know you have a new book coming out. Yeah. What's what's your book called? It's called You Can't Lose Them All. It's available for preorder. Yeah, I'll talk.
Phil Rivers has a new book coming out. It's called. Oh, that was almost picked. That that that that's going to be his new autobiography. He I watched that entire game. He had like twelve possible interceptions. There were the Browns were like baiting him into throwing his doodle arm, you know, to the side pass. And they were like, who's getting it? They must have like a pick six ball. He was so bad he singlehandedly cost costing the game.
I am so mad at myself house. We knew he was terrible. We stopped betting on him last year. Yeah, well, here's the thing. This is the the frustrating aspect of it for me in Indianapolis, we know is a sound organization. Great guy, great coach, good on both sides of the ball. Have built the team the right way. Right defensive line, offensive line. They want to control the line of scrimmage. And yet with all of that brainpower, all that brain trust, they are the ones who affirmatively talk to each other and said, yes, that's the guy that we want.
That's the guy that's going to take us to the next step. We have all these pieces in place. We have a great infrastructure. We can build on this. And the guy that's going to help get us over the hump is Philip Fucking Rivers, who's a very good player once upon a time. And here we are today, Bill Simmons with our dick in our hands because we keep betting on the goddamn Colts and they keep giving games away. They keep making stupid mistakes and leaving points on the field.
And I'm frustrated because I have them to win more than ten games. I happen to win the AFC South. I mean, I have a lot of a lot of exposure to the Colts because I do think that they are good sound franchise. Daris Leonard was hard today, too. I well, that that was the difference. It was Darius Leonard really did hurt them.
I certainly have my teams like Atlanta and Denver that I pick every year. But you guys with these Colts or unmanageable every single year and I get it like at first a few years ago, was this going to be a nephew? To Andrew Luck. I like Jacoby Brissett He's a New England guy but now you keep it going with the I've written him off. I don't know why they were favored against the Bears and ended up winning the game. I don't know why they were favored for a few days this week against the Browns and then the Browns became the favorite.
Mike, I just stay away from them. I get that their defense is great. I think they allowed two hundred and thirty six yards a game or something before this week and they did a special thing this week. Yeah, everything on both sides of the ball. But it is still Philip Rivers. And then that safety was hilarious because it put them down nine and they try as they will. They were not going. To lose that game and Baker, try to give it back to you guys, you guys, because you're caught, you're you're basically we are the courts.
We are the cold so well house.
And I think we're even on the coats for the year. I think we've won two and lost to get off the two. We lost the Jags game. The beginning of the year was stupefyingly. Here's my question for you guys. There's no way Jameis is worse than Phil Rivers.
There's just no way. You way there's a zero percent chance he's worse and I could I could argue that he's probably. Twenty to twenty five percent better because he can at least start Deep Rivers, he just doesn't have arms bit anymore that he can't really move around.
And Myles Garrett started hitting him a few times and then that safety he took was like, that's what you do when it's the end of your career. I just can't believe Jameis isn't playing.
I don't know what I think. It would be better than 30 interceptions. But when he doesn't have Godwyn or, you know, Howard and Evans. Evans. Yeah, but we've watched this Bucks team with the with the big Brady spotlight on them. This team, all they do is fuck up and have ten penalties a game and do dumb shit like that. Wasn't all James's fault. You want a team to root for in every division, it makes sense that it's the Colts.
So who's left? The Jaguars are hideous. They want them to go. Big deal. You have the Texans who don't even have a coach. He's like seventy four years old. And then you have a team, the Titans, who are never going to play again. So well. Yeah, right.
We're not rooting for the covid Titans.
Yeah. The would you rather have Jamous or. I think Dalton gets it done, I think he gets eight wins. I think he does. I think he gets eight wins. Why is he one of the guys is in a Dalton. I have, too. I'm with the Cubs. I think that iconic. How many times has Washington beat Dallas? Zero or one. When in the last three or. Oh, this year I'm trying to get to nine.
None. None, none. No, no. You're going to have five wins and division should. Yeah, yeah. You're going to go five and one in the division and you already beat Atlanta. So there's six wins. So you just have to get two more. We'll get to eight. We'll get to your game in Cincinnati. That's a big one J.M. for fifty two hundred yards last year, he should be playing. I watch all the games every, every Sunday and there's no way he shouldn't be one of the quarterbacks.
I'm one of these teams that I can't get it honestly. Is Matt Ryan better than him at this point?
Matt Ryan tonight? He definitely is not. I had Matt Ryan and parlays to throw a touchdown. I think he has like thirty one straight drives without throwing a touchdown.
He's been miserable and his body language is worse. Yeah. Watched watch. That brings us to our next guy, Dan Quinn. He's been washed away from Atlanta and finally over. And we lost Bill O'Brien to our emotional week for us.
GM got two games and two coaches. Bill O'Brien tops a bill for both. But yeah, I mean, and Adam Gaist is still there. Adam Gase this morning, he's not leaving office. If they they kick him out, but he should be next.
He's like he's like we're doing the watchable about The Martian this week. It's going to be tomorrow night. Adam Gas's Damon in that movie, it's like, no, I'm not going to die. I'm going to make some meat and potatoes out of my own shit. He's making potato up. My station blew up. I'm going to figure it out.
I'm going to drive to another station out of gas. So we lost those two guys.
Dan Quinn probably could have happened a year ago. Yeah, we know that the worst losses of all time, starting with that twenty eight three meltdown. And it doesn't seem now, you know, I guess Arthur Blank seems very forgiving out of everything. Right. Like he just kept them around maybe longer than he needed to. And I don't know. You never know if a guy if a coach loses a locker room, that's the only thing we can't tell from the outside.
We can tell that it's not good to blow seventeen point leads every other week. But everything else, it seemed like O'Brien lost the Texans for all the reports. And also you no draft picks either next couple of years. I think they got it back up to four for Hopkins. Not great in Texas and Houston. I'm sad because it was an auto bed like just oh, whoever it is playing, I want the other side of it. It doesn't matter as long as Dan Quinn is the coach.
I want whoever's playing against a smart. Well, I'll tell you, that's gone now. And I know I don't have the Jets. You know, you have you have Romeo Crennel and he they won today. They won and covered. They got the dead coach bounce.
It was it was dumb. But I'm going to I'm going to bet I'm going to play the long game with Romeo, who's twenty nine and fifty five.
That is career. I have faith.
One more guy and watched. Watch. I know you talked about I'm sure you both talked about him on your podcast on Thursday night, but the Tom Brady. Yeah. I think it's like he's like conditionally watched. The other team has a frisky awesome pass rush and he actually has to try to move around, which he can't because he's a statue and you can make them uncomfortable. It goes badly. But if it's like a shit team, you know, a little like a guy Lamar Jackson has, yes.
It's the worst the team is, the better he's going to be. I think that's the stage of QB. He's I agree with that. As long as he has any risk, is that any danger at all of being touched, then you're going to get some inconsistency out of him.
If he's in a clean pocket and he gets comfortable, you can still toss it around. He's still you know, he's still learning his weapons. He's still acclimating. I would say he's not used to a team. It gets tough penalties everywhere.
Yes, that's that's exactly it. But if he's if he's uncomfortable and then we get a performance like what we saw on Thursday, I was saying exactly that.
That's the first game he missed Belichick. Right. I mean, I know they lost to New Orleans, but maybe they were outclassed. New Orleans is a little better. Whatever was early. That was absolutely the first game that he missed. Belichick, you weren't having Mike Evans come to the Patriots. You were going to Tampa. And this coach is very undisciplined. They had one hundred and thirty three penalties last year. That one hundred over one hundred, ten yards, I think in penalties the other day, like Brady's not used to the first in twenty.
He's not used to that. And on the defensive side, he's not used to bonehead moves, you know, like late hits and stuff like that. That one drive in the third quarter took forever to go. Now, that had to make you sad, though, forgetting the fourth down, he absolutely forgot. I don't know why they I don't know. You don't walk off the field like this if you don't know. Like, they can't they can't make excuses that he knew.
No, he knew it was for them. It's like the J.R. Smith called the timeout and then pretended after that. No, no. He knew what he was doing. Yeah. It is tough. I, I. I find myself becoming weirdly spiteful with Tom Ridge. Oh, yeah, like, I actually kind of enjoyed the way the Bears thing went that, wow, I think it's because we have a quarterback who who was awesome.
And then all of a sudden now he has covid and he's gone. And I've just bitter about football.
I think it's really weird because I don't it doesn't really make sense that you give Rondo a pass, although he's not the best on that team. I guess I understand there's a depth. I really liked Rondo.
Well, you really like Brady to try does a misunderstood genius. You don't get some. LeBron is like if you if you look at all the hugs LeBron had after the game, he had like a 30 second long hug with Rondo and then the Dwight Howard was like, All right, buddy, congrats to way for me to catch up way before we get to another segment, covid Corner there.
Yeah, we did have a sponsor for this. We did four. So that's where, I guess the big wrinkle this week, other than just never knowing when a game is going to get canceled or postponed is on Sundays. Now, we have to wake up even earlier because you wake up and Schefter is just dropping bombs. We're on West Coast time. Wake up. I'm having coffee. And it's like, oh, this happened. And I don't think I've ever been more engaged in fantasy leagues.
There's text change. What do we do? What happens here? Can I have this guy? It's who do fantasy was going to be like having a fucking job and you're running the league.
So you have to do the right thing for as long as they have this going. But I'm the same way it's reverse Christmas morning. I don't want to I wake up Sunday. I'm bummed out. I get I look at my phone, I see forty four texts. I'm like, fuck yeah.
At that point, one game at least tonight Stefon Diggs who put in Henry Rug's. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like OK this one. But they might play Tuesday but they might not ok. Oh oh. They have to test negative again. They're definitely not playing to like you might. You're in the matrix like it's insane what you have to go through thinking about it. But is there going to come a day where we should not be shitting on the fact that we have twelve games when like hey, we're going to have four games on the slate some weeks, they're definitely going to go.
It's a seventeen week quote unquote season. It's a bit like a nineteen week season for the playoffs. And I'm fine though I'd like to buy. We don't move everything back and guess what, they'll make more money. You know what, I'm fine with that. It's fine. What else do they have to do. Well, what's the rush? There's no Super Bowl in mid-February or early March. Who cares? Get it all and make it make sure everybody's as healthy, as safe as possible.
If we get ten games a week, that's awesome. It's plenty. And we sprinkle in some of these sexy a Tuesday night game. Are you kidding me? You know, it's going to be. I am. If we really get that this week, that's fine. And then not a Thursday night game. That's a good trade off. I'm OK with that. I did mess up. I still have a Tennessee tight end that I didn't figure out what to do with.
Yeah, how's how's text me? Because I run the keeper league and it's like ten, ten, thirty Pacific Time Games are starting to play well into the game. I didn't, I didn't realize I had Johnny Smith started for me a tight end. Can I pick up a tight end now. I'm like, no, no, you can't pick up a tight end. The fucking game started has I think my son has to pick up a guy playing Monday night.
And I was going to dump a guy that was not, you know, was playing later in the day. Also, it wasn't going to impact. Could have already playing, but it's fine. I'll roll with Jianyu on Tuesday and if he doesn't play, I lose as usual.
I don't care. People get so upset about their add drop last minute, not going through. It's like, can I get a tight end? Like what are you going to do? The guys out there are expected to get one point four points right on Sunday. Also, you could have had them any time between four. That's right. Yeah. That was yesterday when he was asked and. All right, we're going to do just the lines which are brought to you by.
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Can I take Keenan Allen over a half a reception and over two and a half yards. Can I do that? Yes, the house and the money and the spread all together in one Parli.
I like I like the Chargers plus the points that Michael Thomas is starting fights in the locker room. I think it's such a different team without him.
I that's a ton of points to give the Chargers and I like to root for her, but I like maybe the Chargers plus eight, whatever it ends up being with herbut for at least two touchdowns. Oh yeah. The odds are for that like. Oh yeah. For that like plus to sixty. You could get ambitious and you might be. Yeah, go check that out, I think Herbert throws two touchdowns. Hey, you'll get ten bucks back if you don't win that parlay.
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OK guess alliance hacer are you staying.
Yeah I'm here, I'm awake.
Now here's, here's the thing Simmons. There's no way you have these games right. Why, because of all the changes, there is no way I'll let you go through it, by the way, we forgot two games last week.
I know, I know we're we're ripping off the fans through the games this Sunday market.
We actually have a marquee game next week. It's Tom Brady and and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers hosting Aaron Rodgers in the Packers. Yes, that's a good game. It is a good game. I have the Bucs favored by two points.
You have to see I.
I don't like that I like the Packers. I like the Packers, I like the Packers by like one. How about that? All right, I'm going to start going, you last see of March this year. Yeah, I'm a professional. I'm no, I'm not. I'm not this year, but I. You do win this one house.
I said Packers by three and it's Packers by one and a half. Fellow Packers favored in Tampa. They're better rockets seventh. They're better. They're better to. The Packers are better. I agree. Yeah. There's no home field advantage is there. I think there are four. This is Florida, right. They're going up nine. Oh yeah.
They're going to pack it. Yeah, it's going to be covered. Right. That's what they're saying. That pass I would have this morning. I just can't let Simmons win again. Just Good Housekeeping.
So we go to the watchable. First one is the Ravens are at Philly, yeah, I have the Ravens favored by four points. So what do you have? I said five house. That's a touchdown. Ravens by a touchdown. All right. He's looking he's looking at those numbers.
It is Ravens bias. I don't even know where I would go to. Has the numbers up already. Hold on. Let me look that up. Now you're up to nothing. You don't need to look at Jesus who invited house. Why wouldn't the Ravens be favored by a touchdown?
Because. And here's I don't know, they embarrass all the bad teams, they do, no matter what they do. Well, so do we count fill in that? I don't I don't count as a bad team. I think they're actually OK. All right. Good pass, Rush. They keep losing by double digits to these teams as they were in that game. I thought that was there were points of that game where you could have told me Philly was going to win.
I would have been surprised. I think that leads to my next one. Pittsburgh is home. They're playing the Browns and I have Steelers by five over the Browns. So I said five also. I'm just going to say three.
I think Browns mania is taking over the nation. All right. Simmons and I split that one. That's four and a half right there.
And so, OK, it's a tough one. Form one against form for now, Kareem Hunt was terrific today. I don't even think he was one hundred percent healthy, but he is him in Dalvin Cook. Both look like they're always going to rush for 10 yards every time they get. All right.
He was good, Baker. You know, he had a couple of terrible Baker plays, but for the most part, he but he wasn't awful in that game. I thought he was moving around a little bit and he got crushed at the end.
I think it came back negative. Yeah, he had his ribs examined negative. But that was like, well, that was a B minus Baqer performance. That was a terrible game.
But he let them in there for a minute, but they just had too much of Beckham. Looks like he's trying. Landry's good for a big run or a big pass or something like their offenses. Yeah, they have weapons. Weirdly, the ball really clicking without Nick Chubb, right?
I actually thought they dropped a couple baker passes that would really help them. I agree. I thought his receivers were worse than he was, which you don't get to say too often. Next one is the Panthers. Whoo hoo! For me today, like the Panthers, they are playing the Bears. The game is in Carolina. And as long as this line doesn't. Go way higher than I thought. I think it will I'm probably going to beat this game this week.
I have the Panthers by three over the Bears, OK? It's exactly what I had house. Yeah, it's what I used to say, two and a half, because this is home field advantage. Two and a half. Now, it's not three. We don't say three anymore.
All right. I do it. I do worry that houses for all other discussions, he's looking straight ahead. But when he has to reach in his mind for the line, he's looking left and he's looking right in there.
I'm going to show you his sons holding an iPad. Here's a line. I'm going to show you the camera.
This is these are these are the what I'm this is what I'm looking at. That's one of the thing. Nothing that those are the notes from Thursday. I didn't I didn't flip a page. Those are just for my podcast. Well, you're now the sharp, but whatever. He nailed it. He got it. So when a two and a half. Yeah.
Wow, I, I said this on Thursday night when I was there. A million dollar pics. I'm just in on that role. Yeah. I think that team has the look to it. That team is good. That team could go ten and six. To them in Atlanta, there's next three, but yeah, like them, too, that Mike Davis is around 150. What did you say? This does count as a as a Ewing theory with the with a hundred percent for you.
And there is in play also like we do this every year. There's the one new coach that comes in. Yeah. He takes over Stael situation broken. Whatever was going on brings in his people. But, you know, that team plays really hard. They're smart. They don't beat themselves. I think Bridgewater's been good. You know, he's he's been frisky and in general, like, they they just don't beat themselves. After having lost many of them a couple of weeks ago, I was like, man, I'm not betting against these guys.
Again, they play solid defense against a desperate say what you will about my run. That team is desperate to win. They didn't do anything offensively. And Robby Anderson statistically is a top five receiver so they can keep him.
I was going to say, Anderson, tomorrow, like, legitimately good. And you know it if you're playing fantasy or whatever. But I certainly didn't go into the season thinking, oh, man, those wideouts on Carolina are going to be really something. But Robby Anderson is one of those guys that, you know, if you caught him on the right Jets game, you. But I mean, that guy's amazing. I wish my team would trade for that guy and then you wouldn't see him again for two months and look at him physically.
He's not that imposing you like pretty thin. It's like Snoop Dogg running routes, but it beats the crap out of everyone who's covering him. You know who reminds me of Steve Smith?
I think he's got that kept the way he carries himself and he makes catches in traffic and stuff, but that seems good. I look forward to betting on them again. I do not believe in the Bears.
We're given house too much time to check the remaining odds here. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Look at my hands.
Next category is the barely watchable first one is called Spangler's Kudos to the Bengals for kicking the late field goal to avoid the shadow of which teams do that. It's like, let's get three on the board look a lot better. I'm officially terrified for Joe Berra. He I haven't even watched all the Bengals plays and I've singlehanded seen him get crushed like eight times. Right.
And we knew this was going to happen. Right. There's going to be some games like last week who they beat the Jags. They'll be fine. You know, obviously, everybody's coming after you. But two games against the Ravens, two games against the Steelers. Not going to be great for Joe Burraston. Well, maybe his health in general.
And this one, I mean, the Colts. That's no picnic. Good, good. They're right up front. They have a baker. Before, I guess, the line house, yes, I'll go, I want you know, I want you to look me in the eye right now. All right, let's make a pact. You're not going to we're not teasing the Colts this week. No, we're not fucking doing it with the Colts. We're not putting Phil Rivers in a tease.
I want you to repeat this like we're at an Alcohol Anonymous meeting or something. We will not do so Rivers, we will not go, said Jacoby Brisset starting this week. I'm not the Colts could go fuck themselves how I feel about it not touching the Colts anymore. I'm going to try to be trusted.
I don't know if I could put parental controls on your gambling, how you do. I'm going to try to figure it out. I have the Colts at home favored by seven and a half over the Bengals.
All right.
It's a little light. I said nine. I'm going to say seven. It's light. I'm not I should I shouldn't have said that. Is that it doesn't make you forget it. It's nine and a half. So I know. Yeah, nine and a half.
You can't even say to team tease that sort of recap. I said seven and a half Sago's that's a little late goes.
I think seven seven was the number that I had and I'm not you guys that gunshy there.
So I'll still audition for the prizes right anytime soon. One dollar.
Next one is the Vikings coming off. Just one of the dumbest losses I've ever watched in my life. I'm not kidding. I watched it. The basketball was thirteen. Nothing, and I turned back and it was twenty one thirteen Seahawks. They scored three touchdowns in minutes one day or something. No, ten really. I mean ten minutes a real time. Yeah, there's a minute. Twenty five or something. I still don't know what happened. I don't know how they got to.
I don't like cousins through that ball that turnover in there. Yeah. It really looked like they were going to just punish them after that. And I was surprised Minnesota took the lead back. But take this game cook. Cook got hurt and definitely it looks like he's out for OK, so if he's out out then that matters.
Oh, Madisons good. Madison's good. Yeah. It's just a combo of those two together was really kind of devastating. I have the Vikings favored by four over the Falcons. OK, I said seven.
I would like to say six. Wow. What am I missing? One in four. You're not missing anything. It's three and a half. I don't know why I went. I saw what they're playing the Falcons. So what do we I guess the team with the new coach, new coach theory has been successful over the years. All right. I guess I just want to know this this so far this season. OK, well, the Houston.
I'm done. I can't I can't be on Atlanta anymore.
I leaving the Vikings. I don't think they're that bad. Their losses are all against good teams. You weren't on Atlanta this week, were you? Yes, I was. I was. I was. I'm glad that Ryan won the day for a win. I love them. I love them this week. I love all these terrible teams like the Jets this week. Really bad. I'm sorry, Lord. Let's get more of this. Let's let's take a break and then we'll finish up.
All right, so here's what we have left. We have a new category for guests, the first one, first time, this is a guarantee we've never had this category for the next two games are in a category called covid Corner.
Hmm. First, when titans Texans that we get this last week, or is this a new game, I didn't know. I felt like we're in Groundhog Day with Titans. I have the Titans favored by four and a half over the Texans. All right. I said four. I'm going to say three. Simmons gets us again five and a half, that's nuts to make them five and a half point forward without them in. When's the last time they played?
I know it's crazy, but what's the basis for that line? The preseason power rankings. Who's on this team anymore? What are we doing? But you get smoke now, this is this is also history forgets the Lions, a game that we guess last week we get to guess again. This has never happened before. Talk about Groundhog Day, Patriots at home, Broncos. I like getting a second crack at this. I've got to say Patriots by that.
I don't remember what I did last week, but I said, hey, I'm going to say nine and a half. This is going to look suspicious because I got it exactly right.
But it is a OK, so somehow I blew that one. The poop factor has. Yes. Poop factor. We got three games for you. Poop watch this week. Washington must be involved in this. Washington is about there, starting with them. They are traveling to play Danny Dimes and the New York Football Giants. So I have the Giants favorite by three over the Washington almost professional football team.
That's exactly what I have. I was sure three. Good, solid bet by all three of us, it's three and a half. OK. What is there to say, or I don't know if Kyle Allen plays for Washington, I'm going to bet on the almost might be professional football team to win. I'm going to bet the money line.
I don't know if anyone else has brought this up, but the Giants and Jets, obviously, 01 10 between them and Tankan for Trevor. As all that talk, is it possible that he plays for both teams? He's just the automatic quarterback? Oh, I like it at MetLife Stadium. Whenever whoever is playing at MetLife Stadium, you know how you have, like, the all time quarterback when you play six on six, but there's an extra guy like I think that's that's the fairest way to do this.
So Gary Bettman. They you know, they had like the lottery and somehow the Rangers got the first pick. Yeah, sure. How it happened, there are some cockamamie whatever it's like the Rangers have the first pick. Um, Gary Bettman would probably figure out how to do that for the Giants because of covid. We decided the Giants, the Jets will share a quarterback that quarterbacks could be Trevor. Down with that it.
Ed Smart, thank you. All right. Our next one, the Lions are at the Jags. I think there will be fans of this game. Not sure if that's good or bad for the Lions. I have the Lions favored by one and a half. I like the lines. I was lost here, I said Jacksonville, minus two and a half. One of us is very wrong house.
I like the lines by two. Yeah. House gets its lines by three. That is steep. Wow. Steep. What do we like about the lions? I mean, they could be the next coach who gets fired, right, but they get vertical, I mean, Stafford still throws a good deep ball. The Jacksonville likes to beat itself. I guess I get both. It's the same team, right? Except the chad is more promise.
I'm almost afraid to say this out loud, but I don't think the Jags are bad. Their field goal kicker fucked them in the first half. Oh, combine that that Robinson for that fourth and goal Robinson. It's like, Hey man, I know we've never called this play, but how about a halfback option, your call and what to do inside that? That was the dumbest thing. It was actually fourth and two. They didn't even have to score.
It was fourth from like the seven. And then the announcers are like, well, they can't bring the kicker out his mouth to him like, all right, we should just leave. We're not going to use the security work, said Doug Marone. He's a moron. And and and Jay Gruden are involved. OK, Jay Gruden is the offensive coordinator for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I just watched. So he's a moron. Doug Cameron isn't a moron.
But Jay Gruden, actually, you used to tell me he would be a goddamn nincompoop. He's a dunderhead. He's a he's an absolute moron. Guys, this whole division with this guy is a nincompoop and moron. We just replaced the Phil Rivers for the for the Doug Morons. This entire division kills us. Like, well, just let's stay away from it.
I forgot I had a point on the Giants Washington game in order to make you know, everyone's talking about how bad of a year twenty. Twenty is. Granted, there's some evidence that a great year, let's say, I can't say can't say it's been an awesome year, but everyone says, oh my God, that's the worst year ever. All that. I'm just going to say that Giants Washington game, remember when we were growing up? And they would only have like the one game on at one o'clock, four o'clock Premier League for twenty five season ticket 4.5, there just be these years when they would like because we used to get it in Boston, you'd be like, all right, you're getting the Giants because they played in Massachusetts in the nineteen thirties or whatever the fucking reason was, and then that would be the only game you saw and it was just the worst.
And it's like amazing. All of us like football when we would just have these three hours. We're the only game we had on was like Joe Sakic. Check against some shitty guy, Scott Bruner. Yeah. This giant Swashing game, this could be the only game we could watch in the late games, right. It's like, this is it. What's the game? Oh, it's Giants, Washington, Fox. So that's one good thing. About twenty twenty.
Like we get to pick our football games.
It is good. Can I make a complaint though about the directive, about the Sunday ticket and after you set it up, I feel bad complaining, but the Red Zone channel can no longer be seven seconds off from the actual game ahead. I don't want to just figure it out, just figures out and and sync them up. What do we do? Disrespectful to Scott Hansen. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
I also think I don't know if they have the technology, but they should allow us to pick the four games in the four game channel. Yeah they did.
They had Rams Washington as one of the four. I'm like who the fuck wants to watch this game. Is that the psychological game that was our local game or does everyone maybe I just feel like we should be able to pick that. I know that's game in the fact is dolphins. Jets. There's no line for this, I'll tell you ahead of time, I don't know why there's no line for this and other OK, let's give it a line.
But we're good at this. I want I want to see all of flaggers goes red plays today, cut on YouTube to Benny Hill.
Music is say it was just how is he? Again, where's Jamous? How is Joe Flacco started games.
I mean, I want to hear it. I get the idea of there being like a circus kind of aspect to it. But you could also put it to something extraordinarily sad, you know, like a really like a death march kind of kind of sound like Soundgarden. Yeah. Or just shame the shame battle over shame. Yeah, that's a good one.
So we have no life for this. I would have said dolphins by six. What would you say, dolphins by seven. Yeah, I had seven and a half. I don't know. You know, I get it. The dolphins shit the bed every time they look good. But you can't give the Jets less than a touchdown anymore. You know, that's it from now on. Right. As long as cases the quarter is the coach sending that.
I don't get to toot my own horn very often, but I was all over this terrible Niners season. This is one of my all ends. They're terrible. They're just not good. Last place. What happened to them? Well, Boza, BOCES out.
Moster got hurt and most of he cuts came back. Yeah. What happened to the quarterback situations? Rouf And it seems like it seems like they just kind of lost their mojo, which we see happen year after year with the Super Bowl.
Why is that? Why should that make any sense? Why shouldn't they beat the dolphins or at least be in the game in the third and fourth quarter? I guess they were they weren't in the game in the first quarter. Dolphins dominated them. Yeah, well, they're home on Sunday night. They're playing the Rams. And I have the Rams by two points. All right. I had three house. What for? The Browns by six. The Rams are good, says Cisco stinks.
This is one of the couple that I got exactly right. It's three rams by through. Good. That's a game I definitely play that. I thought in teasers. That's going in parleys. I thought it was going to be Ram's three, but it feels like people are still valuing the Niners, I didn't understand the line this week. Why would they favored by nine points over anybody? They're not good.
I don't know. Do you? Good. Is there another Shanahan and Lynch locked up for six years and they're pretty safe, like. Right. Like, is there anyone more safe than those two for that?
Well, I think the problem for them. How bad was the Garappolo contract? I can't remember one hundred and thirty some million. But they they it's not all that there. No, no, no.
Some of some amounts like half guaranteed or whatever you can, they could spread it all out. I'm telling you, I don't know where you guys are, I watch college football and I think there are three good guys a year. You could I don't think you need to spend 40 million on a quarterback anymore. Three guys, two or three, are going to pan out every single year for a while now.
Well, that's going to be your team's new strategy. I think it should be every team strategy that was too soon.
I apologize for that. So you're going to do Monday night.
Let's set these up. So there's two Monday games houses. Five. I have five. Simmons has four. I like the way this is working out.
All right. We have two Monday night games. We have the chiefs at Buffalo who mm. And I'm going to say chief's. By one and a half. All right, I said to. I agree that the chiefs are going to be favored and I'll just say three. That's not fair to do it like that. That's really how you get it. I'm the guy. It's one and a half. It is geared toward the gas. The gas.
What's wrong? Why can't the gas?
I know I'm going to go to the showcase showdown. I think it's three and a half, but my price is right skill. So I pretty. You've gotten better in the last six minutes.
Yes. Three and a half is the line. Lesseps High Fidelity to Buffalo, huh? That game is on Fox at two p.m. our time.
Simmons on next Monday, eight days from Saturday will move to Buffalo and Tennessee play and Buffalo beats the daylights out of Tennessee, which I think there's a good chance of what will move to what will it go from three and a half to what or will it stay put it that I guess go down a little. But they're counting on it being a short week, right? Because it's Tuesday, Tuesday and Sunday night.
I think this game ends at two and a half. All right. I don't know what to do. I mean, I almost always loved the Chiefs, but I don't think I do in this spot speaking and not knowing what to do.
Cowboys at home Monday night. Against Calamar in the Cardinals. All right, I have the Cowboys favored by a whopping three points. I had a Peckham. House, I like the Cowboys favorite, say, their favorite by, you know, homefield two and a half. You've got the two and a half right, but Arizona is favored by two and a half what this is not something I check, check and check to see if that was right. That can't be right.
Arizona is not shown to us that their day for the bad, they're not good. Here's what I'm worried about with that often that defense, which is still bad. Let's not let's not kid ourselves as cowboys. Defense is bad. A little Jaylon Smith looked like he could play professional football today, but calamari could potentially run all over them. We've only seen them go against Russell hustle and bustle. A quarterback like that. I do. I am concerned a little here.
Well, whatever the Cowboys sound, do you think Jerry Jones, if he had the choice and it could have been his ankle or DACs, do you think he would have been in a wheelchair for a year?
He hasn't been in a wheelchair ever? No, no, no, no. He's a dancer. He likes to dance. So you can Fairpoint.
Can you can you read the NBA title adds one more time? Yeah, sure. I just got here one more time. This is like porn to you. Lakers plus three eighty Clippers plus four sixty. They're all kind of bucks, bucks plus six, 40 and and then you have Boston in the Nets at thirteen to one and Golden State fourteen one and the heat fifteen to one. That's all I wrote down. But what was more.
What's Dallas. Don't you think Dallas should have the respect us kids might have like the MVP. They need a player but they have, they have moves. They can make them there. You never Hardaway Hardaway expiring contract. So that's the point. Right. Like part of this prognostication is trying to imagine what the team will look like when the season starts in like March or whatever, because that's your point is exactly the right point, which is all these teams are going to look somewhat different, like Philly.
I'm and I would like to know what Philly's odds are not. I don't think they're going to win the Eastern Conference, but I want to know what they are to win their division, because I think they have moves to make me sad and dark. I think they're going to get like one good year out of dock. I think at a minimum salary, the few side nets.
Thirteen warriors. Fourteen heat. Fifteen nuggets. Sixteen Rockets. Sixteen Raptors. Sixteen Mavs. Twenty six, twenty four Portland. Twenty four. Utah. Twenty five. So the Mavs and the Sixers seem like they're a tiny bit too high. Twenty and twenty four. Yeah, because the Sixers for all we know could trade Embiid for Johnson three months or something. That's true. Crazy. You know they would have to show that he's got a lot better though right.
With the, with the nets in the mix there and the Heat being better and Celtics there.
Is it all right if I can believe the next thing when I actually see it. I don't have the answer then I don't have them Pennsylvania at all yet, really, it's a lot of you could do what you want. We're supposed to cross someone off today that we forget.
Oh, we forgot to cross someone off. Who'd we do that? We did the Jets last week. Yeah, let's do them again. Have you crossed off the Falcons yet? Now we only have one team, right? Oh, yeah.
We threw that. You didn't you didn't cross somebody off in week one? No, no. Because we waited a whole week for it because there's an extra playoff. Very sensible. All right.
Our choices are the Giants and. The Falcons can cross out the Giants, I guess you can. They could still with a division. I got to say, I I think the Bengals are the cross off team really now, you know, with the Falcons, we like three teams in the NFC South. Now, if we like Carolina, like we really say, we don't think Tampa is going to go six and 10 and the Saints will be around.
They can't do it because I don't know what I want to see. Post's Dan Quinn game with them before I cross them off. Cincinnati is not making the playoffs. All right. You're telling you now you're right there. There's two and a half games behind everyone else that division and they can't block and burrow is unfortunately going to get hit. All right. The real the real contest with Burrow is will he get to the twenty two touchdowns we need him to get to before he gets hurt?
Yes, he will, because he's listening to this. I'm knocking on wood right now. Joey cover's. Come on, Joey. Stay upright, buddy. Hyperbaric chamber seven.
It's my second choice would have been Denver to cross really not even Atlanta.
Well, you know what Cincy makes sense is three teams with four wins in that division. Yeah, Denver's the best team. Here's why I can't cross up Atlanta because of the seven playoff teams. And the NFC is super weird. And you could see a nine and seven playoff team. And so they would have to go nine and two down the stretch. It's ridiculous, but I think it would be way more ridiculous Cincinnati to make the playoffs. Yeah, I don't see that.
You're probably right. We could cross them off next week when I lose to Minnesota. We have plenty of opportunities.
All right. It's time for Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailer. Whether you're buying or selling, our friends at CarMax are on your side with the seven day money back guarantee at CarMax. You've got a full week to decide if it's the right car for you or simply return it for a full refund. No questions asked. And if it's time to sell, stop by CarMax today to get a custom offer on your car.
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One, two. What is this? We're getting ready. And all of a sudden he looks at the phone and he pulls it up and he rings up. Ben. Ben, what would you buy? What would you buy? And Ben goes, Nothing. Click hangs up Right away he goes, That little son of a bitch dials him up again. Wait, he goes, Ben, I know you bought something. What did you buy? Because these nuts click on these issues.
That Bill throws the phone down and runs. Oh, no other little son of a God I still have already bought.
But it was a great moment in the Simmons household. He bought B.S. for PlayStation after I told him not to.
And there should be a major recording after this phone call to see what a VCR for the PlayStation. It's for the NBA 2k.
OK, how much is that? Because I had already taken my paper off his account so he couldn't do it, but he needed something for it. So I put it back, but I had it taken it off yet.
And he's charged forty nine dollars to the credit card. He's nice but it's going to show up on the bill. He's not. He's like, Dad, you're beating the Colts every week. I don't want to hear shit.
I might as well go because Biden was about to say he went to, you know, so he went he went away for the weekend with his his buddy Tic-Tac, the rapper. But they they went to say anything as and he was gone for three days. And on Wednesday night, my wife's like, Ben, you have to pack for the trip cigarroa. She's like, I'm not packing for you. You got to pack. So Thursday comes and they're going to come to pick them up and it's like a half hour away and she's like, I want to see what you packed.
Here's what he packed for a three and a half day trip to Stanford as a big blanket, his PlayStation four, along with his headset and a controller. A pair of jogging pants. And that was it. That's what fresh no underwear. I think he had a t shirt. I'm sorry I had t shirt that he had no toothbrush, no toiletries whatsoever. No second pair of underwear, no nightclothes, no anything. That was what he broad blanket for some headset, a t shirt and a pair of jacket pants and these nuts.
Right.
Is that so? Like why the blanket is like a lucky blanket. Is that his gaymer blanket? The blanket is somewhat confounding because you don't need to bring a blanket to somebody else. Well, how about that? He's in a car with somebody for two hours wearing the same pair of underwear for four days that this was a good idea.
So did you help him out? I mean, you guys figure my way out.
My wife got very upset and then ended up packing for. I'm so sorry. What do you have so. Well, all right. So I like giving nicknames around, you know, that Simmons' from working on Kimmell. The nicknames are a big part of our lives and it's especially effective if you give someone a nickname they don't like and they can't shit. So I call my middle kid Muzo because he's got a chin that juts out and he looks like an old timey gangster and I'm like a mug.
So I call them mugs or mug your face and he hates it.
He eats and he hates it. The only one I haven't really I've given him a couple haven't stock over the years because he doesn't get so mad. Well, the younger one, as you may know, if you've listened, I've called Harrisville for a year. His name is Harrison. But when he went to school they made APRON'S for Thanksgiving and the teacher's aide or something forgot the N on his name. And so we brought back an apron that said Harrisville.
So now all I do is call him Paracel and he like comes at me with that seven year old, like just that roundhouse to to these nuts actually more often than not. So but anyway, he doesn't like the nickname and that's what's important now he's got me back and for everybody because he picked a nickname for me that it looks like it's going to stick and they know it gets to me, even though I'm probably I'm trying to play it cool.
They call me Datto Fatto, Datto Data, Fat Datto, Fattal's, I've gained a little weight here during the quarantine, I don't trust anyone who's lost weight over this pandemic. I've gained a little weight and now it's Datto Fatto, everything. And it's that Al-Fadl. That Al-Fadl. What time is the draft on Smackdown that Al-Fadl? Do you know what we put my. And they say it's all matter of factly and I know I run the risk of getting ten thousand Datto Fattal's on Twitter now but I have to say it.
They got me Datto Fattal's the nickname.
So it's Datto Day Deo Fatto I think so.
No one sent me flowers yet so I don't know officially how it's spelled. Data Fatto dandified. I was not good. I kind of want a t shirt. I mean it's kind of great that they are going anywhere. The following data Fatto Productions.
Yeah I don't like it. So they did it. They turn the tables. Yeah that's it. I don't know what to do. I think I have to leave the house. Unbelievable. All right. That was Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailer. Check them out today at CarMax dotcom data FATTO.
What do you have to plug? All right. My book, You Can't Lose Them All by Datto Fatto. Hey, if you preorder a copy of You Can't Lose Them All and upload your receipt at Cousin Sale Book Dotcom, you will receive a signed book plate when the book comes out. Doesn't sell book dotcom. I'll sign a book plate I'll send it to you. Simmons was nice enough to write a blurb. In fact he wrote He went crazy when I wrote five blurbs all trashing me.
It sounds an asshole because it is sales. I was like, All right, calm down, I needed one. He said that he said five. I wanted you to pick I to give you choices. You gave me a lot of nice shot. I have a lot of nice choices and I appreciate that against all odds. Go to extra points. Dotcom or Spotify. Wherever you listen to podcast, download that subscribe resubscribe. It's the blue against all odds and Fox-Pitt live five p.m. Eastern on FS one and no Thursday Night Football.
I lose money Simmons because they don't have a game. This week I'm suing the league for for malpractice or something. I'll figure out what to. Oh yeah. So you don't have a bit this week. I don't have a bit. There's no game. Jesus I'm so house you have Fareway Rolan Ferreiro and then Friday, Friday weren't sharp on the ringer and AFL-CIO. Yes. We've got the PGA Tour is in Las Vegas. Nathan Hubbard and I are going to talk about trying to pick a winner in Vegas.
And week six with Warren Sharp, we're trying to give out every week. We're doing a little a little segment sharp points with Warren Sharp with last week. We try and take an aspect of gambling and kind of talk it through. Last week was double digit favorites because this was the first week there were the two double digit favorites and they went one on one, but historically very profitable. I haven't figured out yet. We put out to the listeners what they wanted to hear.
Four sharp points this week. So I'm eager to see what listeners want to hear Warren give a little teaching on. I was felt like the double digit favorites were the equivalent of the the twelve against the two. And you're playing blackjack. Interesting, it's almost like you just have to pick a strategy and go with it and just that's your strategy from the rest of eternity. Yeah, you can't be like, oh, I'm going to do it this way this time.
Just got to go, whatever it is.
So, yeah, I think I caught up with the others House and Simmons, both of them. I think eight games went under this week. Yeah.
We up this week this and they were that was kind of anticipated. Right. The inflation. Yeah. Was the biggest was finally going to inflate them enough came back. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So good seeing you.
House good tonight Tiger. I'm off the schneid. It's five. Oh. When do I get a one or do I get a half a win there. You get a half a win. All right. Well thanks anyway. House could be the assist. My pleasure.
Congratulations to Laker fans and their twelfth title and be back on the podcast here on Tuesday. Check out the watchman's doing the Martian that is going up Monday night. S House.
Good job. Good job by good.