Tortured Jets Fans, NFL Fixes, and Curb Your Enthusiasm’s 25-Year Run With Larry David
The Bill Simmons Podcast- 619 views
- 31 Jan 2024
The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Larry David to discuss sports, movies, 'Seinfeld,' 25 years of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm,' and more!
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Larry David
Producer: Kyle Crichton
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You.
Coming up, an extended hang with the one, the only, Larry David next. We're also brought to you by the Ringer podcast network put up a new rewatchables last night. We grabbed one from the Rewatchables 1999 feed. It is the insider, a classic Michael Mann movie with me and Sean fantasy and Chris Ryan hosting this one. By the way, just 25th anniversary of that movie. This here super important, one of the last great Pacino movies, Russell Crowe throwing 99 miles an hour and a really interesting story to go back on, especially as you think about where cigarette smoking is in the 2020s. You could check that out on the rewatchable speed. You can also check us out if you got tickets on the Rewatchables tour. We had an unbelievable time in Chicago last night, Washington, DC. As you're listening to this, we're probably taping the rewatchables there. We're doing Forrest Gump and then philly doing Creed and then last but not least, New York rounders. So thanks to everybody who came out, it's great to see everybody. We're loving doing this. That is why I went last week to Larry David's office in an undisclosed location and hung out with him for almost an hour and a half.
And I had my recorder, I had two mics, and we just shot the shit about sports and curb your enthusiasm, which is 25 years this year, amazingly, as the final season is coming this weekend, which you can see on HBO and on the Max app, and you can go watch every season they have on Max.
But we talked about that.
We talked about some Seinfeld stuff and way more sports than I think you might realize because he's a gigantic fan. So this is a thrill. I had him in December 2014 on my old podcast, the BS report at Grantland. So I guess every ten years we're going to be doing a podcast together. But here it is, Larry David. First, our friends from. All right. I am here in Larry David's secret office taping this about probably six days before everybody hears it. It's the day after Doc Rivers announced he was going back to the Bucks. You're crestfallen. You lost a golf partner. I don't know what happens to you guys.
Yeah, it's very upsetting.
He didn't consult you, obviously.
It's very upsetting because he's a big loser on the golf course consistently. So I'm going to miss that. And so surprising. It just really came out of nowhere.
I feel a little duped because we ate dinner with him like six weeks ago and all he was doing was telling us how great not coaching was. Not told us a whole story about you get a call at two in the morning and it's like, if it's this one person on the team, you know, something bad's happened and now he has peace at night.
Yeah.
And his grandkids and.
Right, right. He's obviously taking the job just because he doesn't want to pay for the next dinner. That was the theory. That's why he's going to Milwaukee. This man will go to any ends to not have to pay for something.
Well, he fooled me. He's back. He's back in the mix. So now this is complicated for me because I really like Doc and my team has to beat that team. So I don't know, I'll reconcile it. We were talking before I started recording. Mean, you're like a diehard sports fan. I actually don't think you get enough credit for it. It's trickled in the show. No, but I don't think people realize.
What kind of credit should I get?
There's a level that people don't realize. Like you're watching league pass on a Tuesday night.
I think it be speaks of an immaturity is what it does for man my age to be into sports.
Yeah, but you're watching.
But you're even way more immature than I am. I mean, you're doing it for a living, right? You're doing your childhood passion. You're rooting all that. And you've turned it into a lucrative living. Thank God.
Yeah.
By the way, how lucky are we, by the way?
Yeah, it's great, but, yeah. I don't think people realize how into it you are, but what's interesting is the jets. So when do you decide? I'm not going to let the season torture me and maybe I'll just play golf on Sunday and tape the game. What week of the season is that? How many bad things have to happen?
That's really an interesting question. Because when the season. Because I golf on Sunday.
Yeah.
And so I record the games, and after the first or second week, everybody knows, don't text me.
Right.
I'm going to watch the game later on. So this goes on until I send out a text and go, I don't give a shit anymore.
Just tell me what's happening during the game.
I don't care. You can text me during the game. It doesn't matter.
It's over.
And so last year, what was that? Around season 13, I think.
With the Zach Wilson?
Yeah.
Around 14.
Yeah.
Well, it seemed there was this moment where it felt like in this last season that the jets were going to suck you back in, that they were lingering, and there was a moment, and then all of a sudden, Rogers might be coming back.
Oh, that. I never believed that for a second. I didn't. Yeah, that was ridiculous.
Rogers, you got four plays out of and a lot of drama. That was year one.
But I'm not sure Wilson is as bad as you believe he is. I know everybody thinks that, but I just want to give you an example, okay? Flacco, last year on the jets with that offensive line, was terrible. And then he gets to Cleveland. He's a year older, hasn't even had a training, and he's. And he's playing great. Until the last game, he played great. So all I'm saying is, wilson was up against so much, having to quarterback. That team had the offensive line. They were decimated. And even when they weren't decimated, they weren't any good.
So you have not sold your Zach Wilson stock.
I guess. He seems like a nice kid, and I'm still rooting for him to do well someplace else. I know he's done with the jets.
Because you were saying earlier this season, like, in text, you were like, I'm still in. I still think he's got talent. Because I was out on Mac Jones to the point where I was like, not only do I think he needs a change of scenery, the league might be the change of scenery. Like, he might have to go to the UFL. That's how bad his confidence is.
Boy, it's amazing how that draft worked out for those quarterbacks.
I don't understand it. I don't understand why it's become even more of a crapshoot. Because the Pats have the third pick, and we'll get whoever the other two teams don't take. And it just seems like there's no rhyme or reason to it anymore.
I know, but if you look at that Wilson draft. Okay, Lawrence, he's doing well, not great.
Right?
And then Wilson. Forget it. A bust field.
Not sure yet.
Not sure. Maybe not working out.
Right.
And then Jones and. Wait. Trey Lance, number three.
Right. Trey Lance didn't even have a moment.
So if the jets didn't draft Wilson, the only other quarterback who possibly could have worked was fields. And I could guarantee you he wouldn't have worked either.
Would have been the same thing. He would have been just running around.
Same thing. Exactly.
So you did that episode about the jets fan who died and they didn't realize or they didn't know whether the jets caused his death or not because it was. A.
Jets caused it.
Yeah, eventually. But that was the question. That was one of the things of the story. So that was a few years ago you did that. What was the reaction from the jets fan base?
Zero. No reaction. Really. Not a thing.
It's funny because every jets fan I know is finally, finally, Larry has done the jets on curb and finally he has expressed what we all feel deep inside. I know, like fantasy, who works for me. And he's in his early forty s now. His jets highlights are Sanchez getting in the championship game and Vinny Testiverde.
Testiver taking a lead into the title game. Testive is great.
That's like it.
That was a great season.
Yeah.
And they lost that playoff game to Denver.
They came close.
That was a fantastic season.
Yeah.
Tester Verde really was terrific that year, but. Yeah, that's really the.
Yeah.
And Sanchez, that's about it. The two Ryan years.
So what is.
What, by the way, watching Ryan now on ESPN. I'd like to get the guy back. I like him.
Maybe.
Is there still time?
I don't think so.
The ship probably sailed. I mean, he did, it was the.
Fourth guarantee that he made. He was guaranteeing a Super bowl every year before the season started. He did it the first year, then the second year. Okay, Rex, don't do this again.
Yeah.
And he did it again. And then he did it, I think.
No.
Is he fired before the fourth year?
I don't know.
He did attack the Patriots the way they needed to be attacked, which is talk a lot of shit, convince your team that you can hang with these guys, be super physical, try to go Belichick in the stuff. And it was actually the right game plan. I hated him. The Pats weren't kind of between Eris when the jets threw a couple of haymakers on them, but, yeah, that was probably the highlight of this century. But you go, you would. Were you back for the Super bowl? Were you in on the jets at that point?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
I started following the AFL.
Yeah.
So explain that to me, because just about everybody in the New York area goes to the Giants.
Well, I was a big Giants fan. I listened to the 56 championship game against the Bears on the radio and the Giants won 47 nothing. Okay. I listened to what was once known as the greatest game ever played.
Oh, Alan Amici.
Alan Amici. I heard that they wouldn't televise the game. It was blacked out in New York.
How crazy is that how crazy?
So I had to listen to that on the radio and they lost in overtime. I don't remember. I think it was overtime.
Yeah.
So I was a huge giant fan then. Ya tittle and beating the Bears in 63, I think.
And then you jumped Joe Naman and.
Then the AFL came along. I think it was 1960. Yeah, right. I don't know. For some reason I became an AFL fan. I loved the Los Angeles Chargers.
You saw you like the uniforms of the helmets. I love some of the players.
I love the uniforms and the helmets. Lance Allworth and Keith Lincoln and Paul Lowe was the other running back. John Hadel was the quarterback. Before him was Tobin rote. So they had a great team. I love watching them. The games were on at like 04:00. Yeah, those were great. And so I became an AFL fan. And the Titans, I went to the polo grounds and saw the Titans play, but I wasn't crazy about the Titans.
So for people listening, the Titans became the jets.
Right. Titans became the jets. And then they drafted Namath. And as soon as Namath came along and now they were the jets and now they're playing at Chase Stadium.
Yeah.
And now there's something about this Namath guy that I just loved.
So this is your guy?
This is my guy. And so that's how it started.
And then they beat Baltimore in Super bowl three as.
Going, I went to school in Maryland.
Yeah.
So I knew had a lot of friends from Baltimore. So that was a big deal.
So you're jets, Knicks and then Yankees, which is unusual. Usually it's jets, nets, mets or there's some.
Right.
Jets, Knicks, Yankees. Usually it's knicks, Yankees, giants. But you flop the football part.
Yeah, but then root for the Giants. I still like the Giants.
So you had Namath rising in the late 60s, culminating in the Super bowl. Then you have the Knicks rising. The Debusher trade.
Same time. Yeah, right.
And then they have the whole Knicks run. Yeah, but the Yankees are going the other way. But so you have two of the three going.
Yes, exactly.
Who was your favorite then out of the three or it didn't matter.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's how I feel. It's kind of changed. It's always been the Celtics because we got to go to the games. But then that number like one b spot would change depending on who was doing well.
I actually missed game seven in 1970. The Knicks, was it. Lakers, right?
Yeah.
The game they won for the title.
Yeah.
The Willis Reed game. Here comes Willis.
Yeah, I missed the Willis Reed game. Because I was in the army.
Really?
Yeah. I didn't see the game.
How long were you in the army for?
A stint I was in the reserves to avoid Vietnam.
The glasses, like, the eyesight wasn't a problem? No, that's how my dad ended up.
No.
Did the eyesight thing?
Yeah, man.
Oh, so there was a chance you had to go to Vietnam?
If I didn't join, yeah, if I didn't go in the reserves, I probably would have been drafted.
So then where are you living in the 70s after this? Are you in New York the whole time or are you moving around?
No, I'm living in the city.
And you're doing comedy?
I started doing comedy in 74 and.
You'Re like, this is my life. But you're still caring about the sports thing too.
Oh, yeah.
Is that that whole romanticizing the comedy scene in New York and LA in the mid 70s, late 70s? Is that overrated or underrated? Sure, because it's like a whole generation of amazing people who then went on to shape pop culture for the next 30 plus years.
It was a life that you lived and breathed. Like, you'd go to the clubs, you'd go on, you'd hang out at the clubs. Then after the clubs, you'd go to somebody's house or you'd go out to eat. You'd be home at 03:00 in the morning. I'd get phone calls at 430 in the morning, like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, exactly. And then you're up at one and by the time you have your coffee and everything, and all of a sudden it's time to go back to the club. And then there's a softball team. It's a whole life.
And that's six days a week, is it seven days?
Seven days a week. You just bounce around. Different clubs bounce around.
And SNL is starting at the same time. So you have that whole scenes happening as well.
Right?
SNL started in 75.
Yeah.
Because I always thought the game of if you could live anywhere in any time period for a year and go backwards in time, where would you pick? And I would probably pick New York in like 75 to 77 range. Just because everything's happening all at the same time in New York, right? There's this music renaissance, there's this art renaissance, disco is happening, the comedy renaissance. Sports is amazing. Just everything's going on. You would ever want if you were like 25 years old.
Yeah, I could see that.
Or it was a little overrated for you.
Yeah. I'm thinking, when would I like to live, obviously.
Yeah.
What's your answer?
Well, obviously you need the modern technology for dentistry and medicine fair.
So that rose that, I think, before the 50s.
Exactly. But if we had the modern technology for dentistry and medicine, I think, like the 1910s, the early 19 hundreds, I would have liked to have gone to a baseball game, I think in the early 19 hundreds just to see what that was like. I'm kind of fascinated by that.
There's a fun baseball era where everybody got dressed up to go to baseball games and wore hats in the crowd.
Yeah, the straw hat.
I don't know how anyone saw because all the seats were, like, barely elevated.
Right.
But yeah, there's this movie you probably saw eight men out. It's about the Black Sox.
Yeah, of course I saw. I've seen every baseball movie that's ever been made.
That movie's excellent. But I like seeing how the people in the stands just everyone's dressed.
Yeah, I saw Ty Cobb. Did you see that one with Tommy Lee Jones? Of course.
I didn't really like the Ty Cobb movie.
No, neither did I. I was just.
Watching the other day. It was just on because I'm still in the old school. I still scroll on cable to jump into movies. And the fan was on and I ended up watching half of it.
Wait, which one's the fan?
It was Wesley Snipes as, like, this Barry Bonds type.
Yeah.
And De Niro is an obsessed fan. And it ends with, De Niro replaces the empire during a rainstorm, and they end up having, like, a knife fight at home plate.
It's unbelievable.
And it was directed by Tony Scott, who's like, one of my favorite directors. But it's just like, I don't know what happened with that movie.
That was an OD movie.
So what are your top three baseball to head? I know it's hard to make lists, but it's got to be one that jumps to your head immediately.
Well, bang the jump slowly.
De Niro.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
But you could tell he's not a really good player.
That was.
Yeah.
Well, let's see. I don't know.
There's been some tough baseball throwing over the years.
I'm having trouble coming up with.
Tony Perkins was the worst one, right?
Oh, that was terrible. Yeah.
I wasn't happy with Tom Cruise in.
War of the worlds at all.
I didn't see that.
I don't know if you saw that one. I didn't like the Field of dreams. In war of the worlds, he plays catch with his son and it's just.
Oh, I didn't see that.
It's not great.
Field of dreams.
The dad in Field of dreams really bugged me.
Here's what bugged me about Field of dreams. What Kevin Costner bugged?
No, no. At the end, he has a catch with his dad.
Oh, he has a catch with him.
And his dad can't really throw a baseball. And it's like this guy's the catcher who dreamed to make the majors.
Here's what bugged me about Field of dreams. At the end, there's a line of cars that's miles long waiting to see dead people play baseball. Are you kidding? What?
You were buying that purpose?
I wasn't quite buying that.
Yeah.
It's funny.
I didn't mind it if it was just Kevin Costner.
Yeah.
Okay. But once you're starting to sell tickets to the ghost. To the ghosts? No, I don't think so.
I think that movie depends on when you saw it because I saw it in college. When you're idealistic and you'll believe anything. And I was like, I'm all in. This is the greatest movie I've ever seen. And then as I got older, you start picking it apart. It's like, did this many people come? What about the negro league all stars? Why didn't any of them get to get start? You go to all these places. But when I saw it originally, I was like, oh, my God, it's an amazing movie. Moonlight Ram. Now it's like shitless Joe Rayliotis batting right handed. That's ridiculous.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, right. They're getting better at how, you know what movie I really liked as a baseball movie that I thought kind of came and went was 61. The Maris mantle movie.
That. Very well done.
I thought that was excellent. Thomas Jane and I think Barry Pepper Thomas.
Yes. And they both looked very much like the people they played.
They really did.
Yeah.
And Billy Crystal really cared about all the little pieces of it.
Yeah.
Great casting in that movie.
Yeah, that was good. Sand. Lot's a good one.
Sandlot. Which one was that?
It's a kids baseball movie. Probably haven't seen it. Maybe my son watched it 130 times. I was a big bad news bears and breaking training guy.
The second 1 second one.
The second one, when they go to the Astro.
Really good.
First one's great. But I like when they go to the Astrodome.
I didn't see the second one.
Yeah. They steal a van and they drive to the Astrodome. That was a good one. I don't feel like they're making baseball movies the same way. They had one last renaissance.
Where it.
Was like, costume kind of got it going, then it died, then it came back again when sports movies kind of came back in the early two thousand s and then now it's like, I think they would just make a basketball movie over a baseball movie now.
Because I don't know how many people.
Under 30 watch baseball.
Oh, yeah.
Dirty secret about baseball right now.
What was the attendance last year? Was it down?
They say it's fine. It's weird, though. I don't know if you've been to a game recently, but they got the nets up, everyone's on their phone.
Yeah.
It's just a weird. It doesn't feel communal.
Here's my problem with stadiums in general now, like, I went to a game at Sofi and I'll never go back there. You have to scream to just talk to the person next to you. There's so much noise coming from the loudspeaker, it's crazy. And then the PA guy is just. Whose house is. You're assaulted, your senses are assaulted and you can't watch the game.
Have you been to a clippers game? They're the worst offenders of this.
What time is it? Yeah, that's probably the same guy.
Yeah, he just kind of moves around and yells at fans.
Yeah.
I think they're so afraid to have silence that they overcompensate.
Exactly.
And they have it at baseball games, too now.
Yeah.
They don't let you just sit and talk and relax.
Yeah.
You know what's cool is the organ at a baseball game.
Yeah.
My dad and I were talking about when Rick Patino was the celtic coach and everybody hated him and the players had checked out at and. But they didn't fire him. Didn't fire him in the last game. We went to his last game and they weren't playing music during the stoppages, the timeout. So the crowd was bummed out. It was just silent so you could hear people. And there was this guy behind us and the whole game he was like, patito, you suck.
And it was just echoing through and.
Patino, like, he stepped down the next day and we were like, that, you suck guy drove Patito out of Boston, but I could still hear it now. It's like nobody could ever impact a game like that because they would just be blasting disco.
I think when I was a kid, up until I was 14, I think I used to yell the heckling. I think I used to heckle when I was a kid. And now when I hear people doing that, I just can't.
Society's definitely changed with that because I think back in the day, sports heckling was really hard.
It was just part of going to a game.
Yeah, right.
I wrote about this story once. We were sitting in the first row at Yankee Stadium. It was probably like in high school or college. Our friend of ours had awesome tickets and Frank Howard was the first base coach and he had this weird stance in first base. He would like bend over with his hands on his knees and we had to look at Frank Howard's ass for 3 hours. So we were drinking and at one.
Point, I know what you're talking about.
So at one point it was super quiet, we were drinking. So I think it was me, it was one of us, but I'm pretty sure it was me. It was like, hey, because his nickname was Honda. I was like, hey Honda, nice ass.
And it just echoed and he turned around.
But you can't do those anymore.
Yeah, I'd feel bad.
I mean, in comedians that's a huge issue now in the comedy clubs is people either videotaping them or yelling at them. I'm sure you must had some heckling stories from when you were a comic. Oh my God, people throwing shit.
I was verbally abused every night. It was horrible.
But you kind of learned how to play up it or. No, never.
I didn't learn. I would lose my temper. I challenged people to fight.
Would you really?
Because I knew I had friends in the bar. I go, come on, let's go outside.
Oh my God. I never told you I religiously watched Fridays.
What?
You know, I really did because I was the only child. I started watching SNL in the late seventy s and then Fridays came on on Friday nights and I would do the combo and that was it.
Wow. Yeah.
So when Michael Richards came on Seinfeld, because I love Michael Richards on Fridays, right? And then he was in this movie, I think it was called UHF. Before that he's kind of bounced around, but he was in UHF. And I remember like, oh, that's my guy. He made a movie and then all of a sudden he ended up in Seinfeld. I couldn't believe it. I'm not saying I invented Michael Richards, but I was like, oh, I really like that guy. That guy was so good on, uh. But that's how you met.
Yeah. That's where you saw it.
But it doesn't seem like you liked the Friday's experience.
No, I really didn't.
What was your first positive professional experience?
Was it Seinfeld? Well, I did have some. Anytime I did a good set stand up, I was always positive.
So all individual stand up stuff.
Yeah, the individual stand up stuff, when it worked, it was fantastic.
Yeah.
But often it didn't. So I would say, yeah, Seinfeld.
Yeah.
So until you could be in charge of your own stuff.
Right.
So we're like, I'm always the happiest when I'm in charge of my own.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's tough to take orders and notes from.
I can't, can't have a boss.
When did they leave you alone in NBC? Or did they ever leave you alone?
I've told this story before.
I don't fair.
We can rush through it.
Okay.
So I quit the show a couple of times.
Yeah.
When they tried to interfere. Oh, the first time they had hired a guy. Um, after the, after we got picked up for the first four shows, they hired somebody to be the executive producer.
To be the boss.
And he called us into his office, me and Jerry, and he gave us notes on the first couple of shows.
Oh, God.
And when he was done, I didn't say anything. He talked. And then when he was done talking, I looked at him and I said, no. I said, no, I'm not doing one thing.
And.
Then we left the office. I said to Jerry, hey, good luck with this thing, because I'm not going.
To be able to do this.
Had the first four aired already or you had them in the can just written?
We hadn't even shot it. Yeah, they were just scripts that we got it. And then Jerry said, no, no, don't worry about it. And then, sure was that was the end of that. And I didn't have to do any of the notes. Castle Rock just kind of let me be in charge. But then there were other instances as.
The show got bigger, probably as the show got bigger, because they're starting to think of it as like a Cheers replacement.
When cheers leaves, then there was a meeting after. Then we did the first four. Then we did 13 shows.
Yeah.
That was considered the second season.
Well, that ends with Elaine and Jerry maybe ending up together.
Yeah.
And then the next season comes and it's like it never happened.
Yeah, exactly. But anyway, after those 13 shows aired, I was in New York, and they called us for a meeting in LA at NBC with me and Jerry and Jerry's managers and NBC and Castle Rock.
Yeah.
And so before the meeting, I was told outside, hey, don't say anything. Let them talk.
Oh, no.
So I said, okay, I won't say anything. That's my phone. So we go to the meeting and they're giving me things that they want in the show for the following season, things I don't want to do, and so I don't say anything. And then when the meeting's over, we gather around in the parking lot and there must be like ten of us, twelve of us, I don't know. And we're in a circle in the parking lot. And I said, good luck. I'm not doing it. And I said, my hand will not obey the command from my brain to write what they want me to, so I'm not going to do it. And then from that point on, I never had any other problems at all. That was the end of it. I mean, up even the 13 shows, they were giving us little notes here and there, things you, things you could do easily. But when it came to bigger stuff.
And I realized that all I got.
To do is say no. And I wasn't married or anything, it was easy. I didn't have kids. I only had to answer to myself.
You weren't risking anything.
I wasn't risking anything, and I had no problem going back to New York. So it's funny when people ask me, young writers, whatever, any advice, and I.
Say to them, stay single of.
Because that's the only way you could.
Really do what you want as you're. Yeah, no question.
Yeah.
Because you got to throw everything into it to make it happen.
Right. And there's just so much compromising that you can do if you're in a.
Good, I think when people say they were with Seinfeld from the beginning, do you secretly want to ask them, were you Seinfeld chronicles from the beginning or just Seinfeld? Because that's kind of the litmus test. Because I was there from chronicles, because I love Jerry from the Letterman appearance.
Wow.
I was all in. I saw Jerry do stand up twice in Connecticut in the, my parents take me each time. But just because Letterman had such an outsized anybody that was good on his show, those became my favorite people.
Right.
I think I already told you this, but yeah. So when the Seinfeld Chronicles was like, oh, my God, they gave that guy a, yeah, and, but then it was only four, but we watched it in college like we were there. And then it left with the cliffhanger. The second season of it seemed, oh, they're going to do the thing where he dates Elaine.
Was that the deal episode?
Yeah, but it was, they're, because we'd watched cheers, where as soon as they consummated Sam and Diane. The show really had trouble figuring out what to do after that. And then you guys just reset it and that was it. Then the show fell into. That's it. I think season two is still really good, but I think once you realized we're not pursuing it with these two, it kind of opens the door.
Yeah. It was just one episode.
Yeah.
Only because I made a deal that was similar to that.
Right.
In my life.
It'S one of my favorite episodes.
And I thought, yeah, this is a funny idea. I should try and do this. Well, the only way we could do it was with Jerry and Elaine.
What was crazy was rewatching with my daughter, but we had seen him at a sequence, so she had seen other episodes from other seasons. But then it was like, all right, we're going to watch these in order. So we're watching when we get to that one. And she was like, wait, I'm like, no, just watch the next one. We're going to pretend it never happened. But it was such, like a fascinating sliding doors for the show because they really did have chemistry. Like, they could have played off as a real couple. You could have carried it for five.
Like Bruce Willis and.
Oh, yeah.
And civil shepherd.
Yeah.
The 80s.
But I don't remember. Did they consummate on the show?
Yeah.
Bruce Willis and Sybil shepherd eventually, yeah.
I think that's what killed the show.
Right? Yeah.
Because cheers, they never should have. But then they figured out they navigated it. But now this is the eternal dilemma with all tv shows. When do you consummate exactly?
How long can you keep them apart?
You never had to worry about that on curb with you and Susie.
Never get accustomed.
The last time we did a podcast, I think it was like eleven years ago when I was at ESPN and we talked about the finale, and somehow that got aggregated for like five days because I guess you had never really talked about it before.
What, the Seinfeld finale? Yeah.
And you've talked about a bunch of times. What's interesting, since we did that, which I think that was like 2014 or 15. So it's ten years ago.
Yeah.
But then Seinfeld, which you think like, all right, at some point these will start petering off.
Right.
Send one generation. I feel like the show is as large as it's ever been. I don't know whether it was the Netflix, the streaming, my daughter's generation, it's just still going. And I don't really understand it because cheers stopped eventually.
Yeah.
And I don't know, whether it seemed too dated or what, but it's still going and going. It doesn't seem like it's going to stop. You don't even have an answer for it.
I have no answer. I don't know.
All right, so curb.
Yeah.
That starts 2000 Ravens Super Bowl.
I think the special.
Special.
And it was a special. It wasn't a pilot.
It's a mockumentary, basically.
Yeah, exactly. I think that's 1999.
That's on their website or on the app. You can go watch the original. It's like basically the original movie that paves the way.
Right.
And Jeff's in it. I haven't seen in a while.
Jeff's in it and Cheryl's in it.
But nobody else is in it. That eventually is in it.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
So now this is the 13th season.
Twelveth.
Twelveth season. But over 22 years, how many times did you think that's the last season?
I'm not doing it once for sure.
What year was that?
That was season five after I died. I died specifically to end the show. I died and went to heaven.
Oh, so you did that because you thought that might be it?
Yeah. I'm not going to do this again.
Wow.
So I died and went to heaven. I met Ben Hogan. He gave me some golf tips and my mother and whatever.
Yeah.
In fact, the title of the show is called the end.
So I don't know if people realized that you were doing it that way when you did it.
No, I don't know. Nobody did because I didn't really tell anybody.
Wow.
So then what made you come back?
I missed it. Well, I love it. I love doing it. It's the most fun I've ever had.
So that season five.
Yeah.
Are you getting divorced in real life at that time? You are right. Or it's about to happen.
I'm getting divorced in 2007.
So is that during season five or like it's after it or it's right around?
No.
Your character becomes single on the show. When are you single in real life as a parallel?
You know what? This is a really good question. I think I wrote being single on the show before I got divorced.
Oh, interesting.
I think so. It's a little hazy right now.
Yeah.
So it's around the same time.
I really have to go back and look at the dates that the shows were written because I know when my marriage was in trouble.
Yeah.
So I was on an airplane, let's say, like five months ago, going to visit my daughter and everything was down except for some of the on demand stuff. And they had curb. I was like, all right, I've seen all these. I think I'd even seen them during the pandemic.
You could be a little more.
No, but I literally just watched them, like, two years before I done the run through because I always try to run through my favorite shows every couple of years. All right, I'll do some work and I'll watch season one. So I end up watching, like, nine. It was cross country flight. I think I watched nine.
Oh, season one.
Season one. They had season one, the ten episodes. So I'm like, all right. So I'm like, all right, now I'm in. And I kept watching, kept watching and just kind of kept watching it. And for some reason, I realized this time Larry becoming single was the key to extending the show. It opened up all of these different pot. You were going to run your course with how you were doing it. And once he became single, now you get to bring in new characters. Now he's dating. Weird shit happening.
I get to date, right.
Which all of a sudden, it's almost like a sports trade.
Completely different dynamic.
It's like when we drafted gronk, it's like, oh, my God, we got a tight end now. And it just opened it up. Because I think that's probably my favorite stretch of the show, is you're trying to navigate, you know, at that point, super Dave's on. You know my feelings about Super Dave, but you kind of nailed some of the supporting characters at that. It's just I felt like the show fully realized what it was with. That said, some of the early season episodes, I think, are probably, you would say probably your favorite episode.
Yeah, some of the early ones. The doll, for sure. The ski lift.
Ski lift, yeah.
I asked you this when we were at dinner, and you said the doll was the first one that jumped to mind for some reason.
So why?
I think it's because generally with these stories, I like the stories to intersect. I like there to be a couple of stories that kind of come together at the end. But in this particular show, there was only really one story which was. And this story had legs. Most stories don't have legs like the doll story, but the doll story had legs. Cutting off that doll's hair had legs. And it just took up the entire show. I didn't have to think of anything else, right.
Other than.
Because all the ensuing scenes just came out without even having to think about it.
So the Seinfeld reunion season, I think I'm just so glad it exists because you didn't do the reunion, but you kind of did.
Right.
But the most fun part is just watching you and Jerry, because that obviously wasn't on. Um, and then everything. Coleman hits at the super Dave joke with you and Jerry, which every once in a while just becomes a social media viral clip again. It just bounces around.
I had no idea he was going to tell that joke.
So you didn't know?
Absolutely not. You know what he used to do, Bob Einstein, he would tell, okay, he told that joke, which got left in the show, obviously, because actually it moved the story along a little bit.
Well, it also had the best reactions ever from you guys.
The funniest goddamn. But. But I would do a scene with him, and in the scene, as we're filming, he would start telling a joke in the scene, and I'm letting him go on, but in my head, I'm going, okay, come on, come on. I know I'm cutting it. But he would do it anyway, and everybody would laugh. He was amazing.
I think he's the single funniest person I've ever been around.
He probably is.
Yeah.
He called in when Sal launched his podcast with us in the mid two thousand and ten s in the ringer, and he was like, our fifth guest, and he came in and just was immediately on the attack.
What is this? Is anyone going to listen to this?
We were just dying.
I don't know what it was.
And then it was always like another joke. And you would get serious for a second. It reminds me. And then he would just go into the next funny. When did you realize somebody like that should just be part of the.
Like.
Obviously, you know him. He's been around for a long time. He's somebody that can do the improv.
We were missing one friend on the show. I had.
Yep.
And I had Jeff, but Jeff is my confidant, so I can't really get into too many conflicts with Jeff. And there were some conflicts that I couldn't get into with Lewis, so we needed another character.
Like a wild card.
Yeah.
Somebody who's basically super offended by you but still likes you for some would say.
And he was a friend of mine.
Right.
And then he immediately got the shorthand of it.
Yeah.
And then JB was the other one who just. The black season. And then it's like, we just have to just keep him on the team.
Yeah.
It was impossible.
I mean, it makes literally zero sense that he just stays at Larry's house and everyone living in the guest room. Did he pay rent?
Look, there's a lot of questions.
Did he work?
Did you have a job? There's a lot of questions about Leon. I think everything's better left unsaid.
What did he do the last 15 years? Did he ever try to get a job?
I don't have answers for Leon. Best not to go there.
So. All right, look it back. What is your single favorite? I mean, you got to think of it. One of the first reasons we ever talked was because I did a thing in a column where I did pitching seasons for curb episodes.
Oh, my God.
And you were like, who the hell is this guy? Right?
Tell the audience what you did.
Because I think I went, so this was the Buckner season because I was still at Grantland. And it was like one of those pitcher seasons where the guy's like, 23 in August. You're like, oh, my God, is he going to win 25 games? So I just said, all right, I'm breaking down every curb season. Like it's a pitcher season with an era and strikeout.
That was really something to read.
But did any part of that make you mad or you just like, no.
It didn't make me mad. I really enjoyed it.
Okay, so what's your favorite?
The analogy that you compared a season and you gave it baseball statistics.
So what's your favorite now? It's 2024.
You don't have one.
My favorite.
What?
Favorite season. What's the one you felt like? I guess you could look at it from degree of difficulty, cross with how you executed it, crossed with, do the episode still hold up?
Boy, it feels like. It sounds like bullshit, but it just feels like every season that ends is my favorite season because it gets harder.
And harder to keep doing the tightrope of it.
Exactly.
So I would say that this season, now that I just finished this would be my favorite season. But I would say that for every season that I had just finished, what.
Did you want to do with this season that you hadn't done in the other seasons?
I didn't have any grand plan like that.
Just get the gang back together.
Yeah.
Just write the funniest shows that we.
Can, because those hiatuses have gotten longer and longer between seasons.
Not the last four seasons.
It's like a year and a half, two years.
Season nine started filming in 2016, season ten, 2018, season eleven, 2020 season.
Since every two years.
Yeah, every two years.
But before season nine, you did season eight. Now it was like 2000, and there.
Was a big gap between eight and nine.
Yeah, because that was when they started wondering if you were ever doing the show?
Yeah.
I didn't know.
But now you're claiming it's over.
Potentially, yes, I know.
But nobody believes you.
No, people don't believe me, I guess because there was a five year hiatus.
And I came back. But no, this is it.
This is definitely.
Yeah. Yeah.
But could you do, like, another project that's maybe not necessarily a series around the same characters or this is.
No, no, this is it.
So who's the most bombed?
Jeff Garland.
I think the cast in general felt like it was also time to end. Yeah.
Interesting. I'm trying to think what sports team this is like. Well, I mean, basically you're going through this. You've outlasted the entire Belichick Brady era.
Right.
It's unbelievable. And just, if you're comparing it to other, it's like, is Grey's anatomy still on?
I have no idea.
Yeah.
I don't even know. But it's shows like that. Or it's like soap operas or like Johnny Carson.
Yeah.
Or it's like the NFL.
Right?
Like, tv shows aren't meant to last for almost a quarter century, which is this, if you count the tv movie, not the pilot movie.
25 years.
This is 25 years of the same thing.
I don't know.
I don't know if that's been done, especially not in a comedy.
Yeah, it's hard to. I know, it's interesting. It's hard to imagine comedies going that.
Long, especially with all the things that changed over, especially when taste changed a little bit. You can feel with the movies from 2000 to 2014, and then things shifted a little and movies, the way comedy changed.
Right.
Some of the movies from the 2000s, they would never do some of the shit that they did back then now. But you always got, like, a little bit of a free pass with that stuff, with content.
Yeah, I'm lucky.
I mean, like, even the palestinian chicken episode, that's about as far as you push the line. But it was funny. It was fine. I think. Everybody. What was the biggest blowback you got over the 25 years? Anything?
Let's see. Peeing on the portrait of Christ. I forgot about that.
Okay.
That was bad. And then there was some jewish blowback. I'm trying to remember for which. Jewish blowback?
What's worse than jewish blowback?
It wasn't for the Holocaust shoes. It was for something else. I can't remember the show.
What about the end of season one? Was it the sexual victim? Yeah, whatever. The incest survivor group.
No, I didn't hear anything about that.
Different times back then.
I don't know. It feels like any show that I did then early two thousand s I would do now.
Okay.
I can't think of anything that I would delete now.
Can I ask some weird 25 years of curb questions?
Sure.
How many celebrities just pitched themselves to come on a curb and what was their batting average for actually getting on? Because I'm sure that was an issue. And you must have hated it.
Well, no, because I don't have to put people on just because they ask. It was just awkward, though, right?
When are you going to put me on curb?
Yeah. Okay. Well, no, it's not awkward. Okay. People don't really expect that they're going to be on. They just go, hey, I'd like to be on the show. Okay, so that doesn't mean you have to put them on. But I would hear from the casting director so and so really wants to do the show.
So they wouldn't go to you?
They would go, yeah, unless they saw me somewhere and they go, hey, I'd love to do the show. Or they would see somebody else in the cast and somebody in the cast would say, hey, I ran into so and so, and she really wants to do the show.
And then you'd file that away.
Yeah, you'd file it away.
How do you decide, or how did you decide whether somebody was famous enough to be themselves on the show or play a character? Because the Vince Vaughn thing always threw me off. I was like, in this curb world, Vince Vaughn should be Vince Vaughn, but he's a member of the Funkheiser family, Freddie Funkhauser. So how is he not Vince Vaughn?
Because I needed someone. Because the show about Funkhauser's daughter who transitioned to a man and he gave himself an extra large penis.
Right.
I needed to have that discussion with an actor.
Okay.
And I knew it was like a sensitive discussion to have, and I needed it to be really funny. And so I had to think about who to cast in that part. Because it was supposed to be for Bob Einstein.
Right.
It was written for, didn't. Yeah. And then he died. But that was written for Funkhauser's daughter.
Yeah.
So now it had to be a relative of Funkhauser. And who's going to play the relative? And Vince, I thought, is the person who I could have this discussion with and it wouldn't feel, I don't know, like, unacceptable.
Yeah.
And also it felt like he was in the Funkhiser kind of area.
Yeah.
Something about him.
Yeah.
Any sports stuff you want to get out? Can we talk about your rule to change football?
Yes.
So I'm going to make you. Sports are for the day.
Okay?
You were infuriated. We're taping this. It's a few days after the bills lost because their kicker missed a 44 yarder and it went wide.
Right.
So your change is what?
I've said it before, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to say it again, but I really believe that we should get rid of goalposts in football. No bullshit. The field goals ruin the game. They don't enhance the game, they make it worse. You have a guy who's kicking a ball through parallel bars to win games. Why? There's no reason behind it. He's not a football player. Buffalo didn't lose that game. This guy, this one guy who's not even a football player loses the game for them. Why do we have to have it? For what reason?
So you would get rid of kickers entirely and you just go for it on fourth down every time and not have kickoffs?
Well, unless you want to punt.
Right.
So you keep punters.
You keep punters.
Yeah. Okay.
I think I'm down. Like, I was thinking, the UFL, this new spring league or whatever, the merger, this is like not a bad wrinkle for them. Wouldn't it be great more fourth downs? Even the Bills having to go for it on fourth and 13 if they make it. That's amazing.
And by the way, it completely changes your mindset on offense. You're no longer operating with three downs.
Right?
You're operating with four downs. So when you're on the 40 yard line, the 50 yard line, you're not thinking about, oh, well, we have three downs, you know, you've got four downs. I don't think you get. You might not punt from the 50. You're not going to punt from the 40, from the other team's 40. So I just think it changes how. It's going to change how you run your offense.
So if seven kids, Salah comes back next year and says, I've gotten rid of our field goal kicker, he no longer exists. The punter is going to do kickoffs and we're just never kicking.
This year, you'd be think, yeah, I.
Think it would really help the game. Listen, Buffalo, they lose a Super bowl because a kick is wide, right? It's dumb.
And we won multiple Super Bowls because our kicker made crazy kicks. So I'm pro kicker because kickers have been really meaningful to the Patriot fans.
But it's so stupid, though, in a baseball game, should they put up parallel bars in center field and have a fungo specialist try and hit the ball through the parallel bars. It has nothing to do with the game.
So extra innings, these guys come.
Innings?
Yeah.
You come in, you bring in your fungo specialist and he tries to hit the fungo through the parallel bars.
This actually sounds like a good rule.
Yeah, I mean, it's as dumb as that.
Here comes Bonzo, our fungo specialist. Yeah, he's going to come in here.
Oh, looks like the fungo specialist is warming up.
Bad weather today. We'll see if the fungal specialist could do it. Oh my God, that's so funny. What would you do about the Baseball hall of Fame? Because Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, that all these people who were among the best baseball players I've ever seen are not in the baseball hall of Fame and we're getting still precious about all the steroid stuff. I'm not convinced we don't have steroids and hgh stuff now, right? Pretty sure we do.
Yeah.
I'd be interested to see if a major star failed to test how people would react, but it just seems what's the point of having the hall of Fame like Todd Helton made it today.
Yeah.
He's going to make it for Barry Bonds.
I go back and forth on this. Yeah. I suppose if Brady Anderson didn't hit 52 home runs one year.
Yeah.
Because he had never even hit over 20 right before that.
He had 50.
Yeah, he had 50.
Okay.
I suppose if he didn't hit 50 then you could say, well, they're still great players, they're just hitting more, but they still would have made the hall of fame anyway.
So.
It skews the home runs in a way. And I guess it skews batting averages and everything else.
Ruin the stats. It's hard to really figure out the stats.
Yeah.
I guess if you look at their careers before steroids came in and they were hall of famers before that.
Or headed that way.
Or headed that way, then I would give them the pass.
I would have everybody in.
I would just put it on the plaque.
Put it on the plaque?
Yeah, just put something on the bottom. But even then it's like arrested in a Balco trial. It's like tough thing to put on the plaque. Yeah, maybe you have to press a button and it tells you what happened, but I don't know. I was writing about this in the mid two thousand s. I guess I don't fully understand the point of a hall of fame because I always thought it was a museum that honored the best ever, and you take your kids or your grandkids there and you teach.
Them about the sport.
And to not have people that were literally the best players of their era in the hall of fame and not even mention why they're not in just seems weird to me.
I get it.
Especially when you consider a lot of the people who were already in there before.
Yeah, like the thai cops.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, next sports question. Could you ever see yourself on the set of first take for 2 hours in, like, the mad dog spot? Just a Tuesday. It's a Wednesday. Mad dog can't make it. You're in town, all of a sudden.
You'Re in with Stephen A. I think I'll pass. Yeah.
You wouldn't be able to do it.
No.
Would you be able to just craft hard sports takes and just go and argue them and get mad at Stephen.
A. Oh, my God.
Could you do PTI?
No, I couldn't.
No.
You couldn't do any of those shows?
No.
What would your sports podcast sound like? Would you have you.
I couldn't do a sports podcast.
But you're watching all these sports.
Yeah, I don't think I could do a podcast. First of all, can I tell you something? I don't like criticizing people. And you have to criticize people to do that. Right. I don't like calling people out and saying they're bad at this and they stink. It's just not me. I feel bad for them.
I do.
I feel badly when people take them apart. And that's what they do on these shows. They take everyone apart. He sucks. He stinks. I mean, these are people. They're human beings. They have feelings. I just don't like it. So I could never do it. I don't mind criticizing. If I'm having a private discussion with you, I'll say so and so sucks. Yeah, that's fine. He's not hearing about it. But true to publicly call someone out, it's not for me. I could never do it.
Do you feel like the sports culture, have you noticed that it's much different than it was, like, 40 years ago because you saw some good iterations in the 70s? Dick Young, member, he basically got Siever traded. He was the most powerful. What was he, New York Daily News?
Yeah.
And was just taking shots at Seaver left and right and crushing them. And then eventually they were trading him to the Reds.
Oh, do you think they did that because of Dick Young?
No, but I think he was pushing a narrative. Know, Sieber didn't want to be there. And what's he doing?
I don't know.
Just felt like the local, whoever had more power. Now it seems like the national person has more kind of sway.
Yeah.
I don't know. What do you.
What?
Do you watch those shows? Oh, do you get sucked in or do you just watch games because you listen to some pods?
I watch those shows.
Yeah.
I mean, some of them, yeah. Not all the way through, but they're shows that I'll turn on when I'm shaving or out of the shower and I'm getting dressed. I'll definitely put them on.
What would be your fix for PGA and Liv in that whole mess? Do you have one?
No.
It really makes my dad upset.
Really? Why?
He just thinks the best guys should be in one place trying to win tournaments against each other, and that's how it should go. He's a traditionalist.
Yeah.
There's something about professional golfers that I don't take to, like, I don't feel it, so I'm not that interested in them, to tell you the truth.
Yeah.
That's one of the reasons you skipped the US Open when it was.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I don't like going to golf tournaments.
Yeah. But I don't.
Don't. I'll watch, like, the last hour or two of a major, but that's about it. I don't really watch golf on television.
But you're still playing like, four or five times a day. A.
No, no, three.
Twice. Twice a week.
That's it.
Yeah.
Just to win money off Doc Rivers?
Yeah, that's it. Just the weekends.
How many people are in your.
Once in a while, during the week.
How many people are in your golf group?
There's about eight or nine of us.
Text thread. Who's playing? I could do 745. Let's go. I can do it, too.
No, I'm the captain.
You're the captain of the.
Yeah, I send out the text.
Yeah.
When did you retire from softball and all the recreational sports that weren't golf.
By the way.
I mean, you had softball on curb in like the late two thousand s. Yes.
Okay. That day that we were filming and I had to hit a home run to left field or a long fly ball.
Yeah.
And so I hadn't played softball since the Broadway show league, which was like in the late eighty s. Oh, my God.
Yeah.
And so I think it was Rosie O'Donnell was pitching and I had to hit the ball. I couldn't hit the softball.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
And there's like 100 people there.
Yeah, there were a lot of people watching. I was really having trouble hitting it because I don't know why. Yeah, that's a softball.
It's low pitch.
It was embarrassing. But I have to say, on the golf shots on the show, yeah, I come through.
I do.
Like this year, I had to hit a drive and I hit somebody on the fairway. And all the cameras. The cameras are behind me. The whole crew is behind me. Right down the middle, 230.
That's hard with the sight lines behind you.
Yeah.
Best. Well, now you're not going to answer this. Let me rephrase. Most impressed.
I have some questions for you.
Well, yeah, this is my last one. Most impressed. You've been by a guest star on curb in the last 25 years where you didn't know what you were getting someone, where you're like, wow, they were unbelievable. So, like, a Rosie O'Donnell would be an example? I'm not saying her, but I'm saying like, that, like, somebody who comes in one episode kind of knows what the show is and just crushes it.
Oh, man.
You can't answer this one.
Yeah, too hard.
You offend somebody too hard and I'll offend.
Yeah. Okay.
All right. Ask your questions for me.
I have some questions for you. Yeah, the rewatchables. Why don't you tell us what the movie is going to be before you do the show. That way we can watch the movie and then enjoy the podcast a lot more.
Fair question.
You keep it a big secret.
I like the mystery of it. Well, my thing is once it's out, it's out. You have plenty of time to listen to it. You don't have to listen to it the moment it comes out and you could see the movie.
I know, but it's better if you.
Say, do you think I should 24 hours earlier tell people what the movie is.
Tell people what the movie is. What's the downside?
Yeah, probably not a downside.
There's no downside.
Maybe like people, I don't know, trying, they are already wondering what the categories are going to be, and I don't know, they're thinking ahead. You don't tell people what a curb episode is the day before. Here's the premise.
Yeah. Because this movie has already been out for 25 years.
Fair.
Yeah.
All right.
Good question. I'll work on it. Maybe I'll announce it on Sundays. It'll be the Larry David rule.
Okay, I have another question.
Yeah.
This is a little personal.
Yeah.
You don't have to put it on if you don't want to.
Okay.
Your wife, how does she do it? Because there's got to be. How many hours a day are you putting in watching?
Oh, that's fair. All right, so football is 17 Sundays plus the playoffs.
Right.
So Sundays are out for 22 weeks.
Yes.
I don't really do college football anymore unless I'm home. Basketball can pick my spots. We got in the living room, we got this giant new tv set up in the new house with the big tv but then the two tvs next to it. So I can put two basketball games on the side. Tvs, but we can watch whatever she wants to watch. I wish I had thought of this ten years ago. Kidding.
You're watching basketball?
No, we're watching a tv show or movie together. But there's also basketball on the left, so I can kind of make sure I know what's going on. So, like, when Carl Anthony Town says 62 points and then gets benched, I'm not catching up to that after the fact.
Right.
But then a lot of it is like, sometimes I'll cheat in the mornings, I won't see the game when it happens, and I'll come back the next morning, I'll watch on league pass and I'll zip through, like fourth quarters and things I want to see. So it's not necessarily like just sitting home and watching sports every night. I feel like I pick my spots. The football, like some of the Thursday night stuff could be like, you know what? I'll tape the game. I can zoom through it. I can watch it in an hour if it's one game.
Right?
Sundays is impossible. Sundays, you have to be there. I always felt like for my podcast, the Sunday night with Sal, you really have to watch everything or else the audience can tell. So it's like, this is how it's going to be on Sundays. But.
You know so much about basketball, right? You have to watch a lot of basketball.
Definitely do. Definitely do. It's on or around, but I really can pick my spots in a way. And sometimes she likes basketball, so sometimes she'll watch with me if it's a bigger game. But playoffs is when I really kind of lock in. So she's always kind of like, April. Yeah, I don't really like you this month. There's like two stretches where she's like, I'm not a huge fan of you. Oh, this is the time of year. It is. Because she knows the rhythms of it now. Yeah, but it's never been like an issue.
All right? That's what you're doing for a living, so I can't complain that much.
You always have that card.
I don't have that.
What do you mean?
I don't do it for a living.
No, but when you're doing your show, your wife wouldn't be like, oh, man, you're doing that show. That's what you do.
Yeah, exactly.
So I can always hide on that one. Yeah, but, yeah, as you get older, you learn how to economize a lot of it.
Right.
And use your time perfectly. I don't know if I was always good at that. It was honestly a lot harder when I was writing because I would spend, like, a shitload of time on just writing columns or rewriting paragraphs, and that would be like an all day thing. And then also having to watch sports. You become a little uno bombery when you're writing scripts for, I guess, the curb script. Sometimes you're just sketching out premises, but you must have to go somewhere and actually, like, you're by yourself for stretches, right?
Yeah, I write the shows with Jeff Schaefer here.
So you always have somebody else in the room with you?
Yeah, but sometimes if there's a problem, I'll take the problem home and think about it.
Oh, interesting. Did you have, like, a special place to go to, or do you have, like, a little office or, like, just kitchen? Nothing.
Just a chair in my. Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
When on Seinfeld, did you write with somebody or did you write by yourself?
I wrote by myself, and I wrote.
With.
Thought because I felt that a little bit with different stuff I've done, but never as intensely as that. Spending that much time with somebody and then you're not with them the same way. It's almost like when you're in college with your roommates and you just spend this crazy amount of time together, and then you just don't see each other the same way, but you still have the bond from all the time. You can just pick up. Two of my best friends came from college a couple of weeks ago, and it's just like we just immediately go back. It's like we've never not spent time, but one of them I hadn't seen in a couple of years. There's something weird about the.
It's the same way with you, probably.
How often do you see Jerry?
Not that often.
But then when you see him, it's like, yeah.
You just go right back.
Yeah.
Do you have other questions for me? I like how you turn tables on me.
I thought, wait, I had one. I had another.
One, you don't want to ask me about the future of the Pats because there's this owner thing with the pats that I think is trying to figure.
Out how real it is.
Why? What do you mean?
It's a little like the sun was supposed to kind of take over.
Yeah.
But they do the press conference for the new coach and the sun's not at the press conference. And Bob Kraft's like, yeah, we had a crisis with one of our other parts of the company, so he couldn't be there. And it's like, really?
He couldn't be there for Stephen Jones would have. Would have been.
That's right.
So the question, like, one of the reasons succession, I thought was such a great show was that whole family dynamic of the guy who did everything possible to be in charge. Vince McMahon's like this just to, he's running everything.
Yeah. That's what I want to ask you. Good. I'm glad you brought up Vince McMahon.
Okay. Yeah.
You watch wrestling?
Yeah. What is that?
You're out on wrestling?
What is this with you in wrestling?
This goes back to being a kid.
Yeah. I watched it when I was a kid, too, and then I realized it was fixed and I stopped watching it's performance. Oh, so you love the performance.
Yeah. I don't think it's real. It's not like I'm like, oh, my God, I can't believe roman reigns won again.
But they're all the same, aren't they? I mean, every match looks the same.
There's some art to it. There's art in the storytelling, how they build arcs. It's not much different than what you were trying to do with curb. Trying to build two three month arcs with two characters. Have these different matches. There's cool things to it. I can't say I'm watching raw like every Monday night, but I always kind of semi know what's going on. My son got into it, which was great, but now he's out now. My son's in MMA now.
But listen, you're watching this thing.
Yeah.
You know that it's not fixed, but the people who are there, they think it's real. No, they do. Are you kidding? They go crazy. They wouldn't go crazy if they thought that it was real.
Are you having an intervention right now at the restaurant? Gave Netflix, gave them 5 billion for raw. It's like getting bigger and bigger.
It's remarkable.
Are you going to watch my Vince McMahon docuseries on Netflix? I'm going to make you watch the first episode. And I bet you keep watching because I showed my dad a.
Wait, wait, is this scripted?
No, it's a six part going to make my dad. I was like, can I just show you this and say, I don't like wrestling. I'm like, just watch one part. And then he watched three in a row, so I thought that was a good sign for us.
Well, I'll watch the first one.
Yeah. Vincent, pretty interesting character for one of those.
Do you watch those?
Do you deep dive? Because you watch a lot of movies and stuff. Do you deep dive the docu series on different things and murder doctors and all these different weird docu series they have probably.
No, I don't think so.
I don't watch a lot.
But you watch a lot of the movies, though.
I watch movies, yeah.
So you had Oscar thoughts that you're not going to give us because you only being critical.
Yeah.
What was your favorite Oscar movie for this year?
The Paul Gimatti one.
Oh, the holdovers.
Yeah.
You like that one?
Yeah.
You're an Payne guy.
Yeah. Yeah, I like him.
It was good. It was good to have him back. He didn't made a movie in a. Yeah.
Um, yeah, he's really good.
What else did I like?
I'm big on boarding school movies in like, I feel like that could be a cable channel.
Well, you know, just like boarding school movies. I love boarding school movies. It's the best boarding school movies. My favorite was the Brendan Fraser one. What was it?
School ties.
School ties, that's my favorite.
Try to solve anti semitism. Didn't get there.
Boarding school anti semitism. You, you cannot. Football. Football. Are you kidding? It had it all. You can't do better than that.
Some great young actors.
Yeah. Cheating. Come on.
So you're in for school ties as a limited series.
School ties, is it for me? That's it. I could watch movies like that all day.
Well, I asked you to come on the rewatchables because you actually listened to it and you only wanted to do movies from like the don't know why we couldn't do something from a school ties type of movie.
I will pick one. Maybe I'll do it.
I'm going to just send you a list.
Okay.
I think we should do a baseball movie, though. You really like date men out, right? I mean, we could do a movie like that.
I like date men out. I'm forever blowing.
We could talk Black Sox. Pretty fascinating.
Yeah.
Whether shoeless Joe got a Raw deal. We could go into all that stuff.
Boy, this Kamisky fellow. He must have been something, Charlie.
Well, I do think with the league. Oh, wait a second.
You know what movie we left out for great baseball movies?
Bulldurham.
Bulldurham and the Natural.
Oh, the natural. Still classic.
Fantastic.
Yeah.
I really like for love of the game, too.
Which one was that?
That's the one with Kevin Costner when it's like he's going to retire from.
The Tigers, but it kind of turns.
Into a rom.com halfway through. But the baseball stuff's really good.
Yeah, it was all right.
The romcom part probably could have cut out.
Yeah, it was good. I liked it.
Yeah.
That costume is probably the base. He's made three, I think.
Oh, baseball movies.
Yeah, just three baseball movies.
I forgot the other one. But his best sports movie was a golf.
The Tin cup.
Tin cup. Yeah. That was really good.
So maybe we do Tin Cup. Roy McEvoy. That would be a good rewatchables for you. Would you just want the two of us, or would you want a third? Would you want a third co host? How would you want it to play?
I really don't know. I'm feeling a lot of.
You. Before we go, you didn't explain to us why the Yankees aren't good anymore.
Why they're not good anymore?
Yeah.
What happened?
It seems this team, they put together, like every player. Remember when they had Luke Voight? Remember that lineup?
Yeah.
Judge Voight and Stanton. And they have all big, lumbering guys who can't move and are powerful, but they strike out a lot. And there's a lack of athleticism on the team. They don't seem to be able to move quickly.
Hard for them to steal runs.
Yes.
I don't know.
They just strike out too much. They don't hit with men on base and.
Seems like you're down on them.
And analytics. I hear a lot about analytics, that they depend too much on analytics. Oh, wait, there's another great baseball movie we forgot.
Moneyball.
Moneyball is the best one of the last 15 years. Yeah, I love moneyball. I actually jump into that one all the time.
Yeah.
So the team you're happiest with is the Knicks.
The Knicks. Yeah.
You genuinely like watching the Knicks.
I heard you say on one of your shows last year that you don't know anybody who watches hockey during the.
Season except my dad and me.
You watch hockey during the season, so Rangers are number one for you.
Yep.
You're in on the quick comeback, the jonathan quick resurgence.
I'm a huge Ranger fan.
Still, even regular season?
Regular season I see entire games. I'll tape them and then I watch them and I can get through it in an hour.
Oh, that's smart.
Yeah.
That's 60 minutes and you're done.
And if it's too late, then I'll just go through the tape for the goals.
So when you're taping a game, is it people know not to text you about the game? Whoever.
Your people know not to text me. Yeah.
So you're surprised that wasn't a curb plot?
You know what mean? Giving away a game.
Somebody ruining the game for you.
That was on the Seinfeld pilot.
Was it really?
Yes.
I don't remember that.
Kramer gave away, I think, a met score on the Seinfeld pilot.
You could have dipped back 30, 40 years ago.
Jesus.
That could have been a whole curve plot. Somebody ruining game five of the Knicks.
It's too easy of a premise anyway.
It's too easy.
To think of things that you think other people might not think of.
Yeah, but this is such a huge part of your life.
Yeah, I know, but so what?
Anybody, anytime I ever text you during a Jets game, I'm golfing. What's happening?
God.
Well, you have the jets. You have, I think, a top ten pick. You don't have a second round pick.
They'll draft a tackle, I hope.
And I guess, Aaron Rogers comes back. I won't force you to give us your Aaron Rogers feelings, but people could probably read between the lines. Was it a great year?
One?
You have them below Namath on your ranking.
It started out so hopeful, too. It really know they were going to Broadway shows. Did you watch the.
Oh, yeah, he went to the Tonys.
No, it wasn't the Tony's. They went to a Broadway show.
I thought he also went to the Tonys.
Oh, maybe he went to the. What's that show, HBO.
What is it?
What's the show they do running the football team?
Oh, hard knocks. Yeah, he had a great hard knocks.
Yeah, great hard knocks he met.
Yeah. Right.
HBO hall of Famer liev Shriver.
Yeah.
Do you think they should have an HBO hall of Fame? I feel like they could do that at this point.
People seem to be very concerned about what's going to happen after they're dead. Hall of Fames and things like, I.
Mean, I'm the opposite. I'm just trying to get to next year.
Yeah. Right. Yeah. All right.
Thanks for having us.
Curb.
You can't tell us anything about the season, right?
No.
The potential last season?
No. Okay.
That's not really the greatest way to promote the season.
Is this airing before the first show comes out? When is this airing?
No, this airs Tuesday before. Right before the first episode.
Before the first episode. The first episode is February 4.
February 4, yeah.
And this is when this is going.
To be the Tuesday before that.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Yeah.
So I saw the first episode and I told you I saw it and then I didn't realize you needed feedback.
Well, because people go either way. The guy says, hey, I got the first episode I'm watching. Can't wait to see it. And then I never hear from you. You don't do that. You're so stupid.
I didn't know if you were a feedback guy.
A feedback guy. There's only one conclusion I can reach.
Oh, so you think if I don't give feedback, that means I didn't like it?
Absolutely. Because here's why you don't call somebody after.
You see, I like every curb episode. I'm a bad critic.
The reason you don't call somebody is that I don't know how to tell them that I didn't like it. So I just won't call.
Yeah, that makes sense. So that's my bad. Yeah, it's a rookie mistake. All right, Larry David, good luck with the last season. Congrats on a quarter century of curb. Unbelievable. Insane. Good to see you.
All right, thank you.
All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks so much to Larry David. Thanks to Kyle Creighton and Steve Saruti for producing. As always, don't forget to check out slash bill simmons if you want clips from this podcast or the shorts that I do as I walk around and turn my camera on like an idiot. Apparently people like these. I actually have fun doing them. I'm glad you like them. And we're going to run some stuff from the rewatchables as well as we tour the east coast. And the weather hopefully continues to cooperate. I am not sure if you're going to see me on Thursday. It's up in the air. So if I don't see you Thursday, I will see you on Sunday. Enjoy the rest of the week. Wanna see them on a waste of.
I don't have with him on the.
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