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It's time for Donkey of the Day. Don't be a Democrat to being donkey today. A little bit of a mix, but like a dog the other day. The you.
Now, I've been called a lot of my donkey and today is a new one.
Yes, donkey today goes to CNN chief legal analyst Jeff Toobin. Jeff Toobin is also a renowned reporter for The New Yorker.
Jeff Toobin is 60 years old and he's been suspended by The New Yorker and he's asked for some time off from CNN after doing this. Let's go to Fox News with Sean Hannity for the report.
An unsettling incident involving CNN's chief legal analyst now off the air for allegedly pleasuring himself on a Zoome video call. Jeffrey Toobin, who was also a staff writer for The New Yorker, was suspended by the magazine for masturbating during the call last week with other New Yorker employees and WNYC radio staff watching. According to Vice News, which reports the incident came during a drill for election coverage. Vice says when the group returned from their breakout rooms to even lowered the camera, the people on the call so they could see Tubin touching himself, too, but then left the call.
Moments later, he called back and seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see. New Yorker magazine told Fox News Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter. And in a statement to motherboard, Toobin said, quote, I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake believing I was off camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers. I believed I was not visible on Zoome.
I blame zone calls. Euro Zone calls the mentally and emotionally exhausting Zoome calls or stressful as hell and scratching yota behind the ears. Tossing a little egg salad lowers blood pressure in stressful situations. And I'm not making any excuses for Jeff Toobin. What he did was unprofessional and totally out of line.
But one out of five Americans has an anger management problem and phone calls make us all angry. OK, I have to do things to mentally, emotionally prepare myself, resume calls.
Now, personally, I would have in my meat loaf before I got on the would not on the Zoome.
OK, like I don't have a problem. Give it myself a helping hand. OK, you have to discover your own potential at times, but not on a business. Zoome call.
OK, I don't think any of us male or female can dispute the relaxing effects of turning on the sprinklers.
OK, sometimes you've got to find those clothes.
Would Fred and Daphne and make Scooby Doo what he'd do? OK, listen to me. Masturbation fights depression. All right, back to back zoom calls are depressing. Sometimes you got to box the one I champ the release that dopamine to have the energy and strength to make it through a Zoome call.
But Jeff, not like this, OK? You can't have a menage a trois on the zoom. All right, Jeff, I have no problem with you making Pearl Jam, but it's a time and a place for everything, OK?
And zoom on a business call is not the place.
And why is your name your last name? Why does your last name sound like a euphemism for masturbation?
Toobin, Toobin, sounds like something you would use to describe shaking hands with the milkman on Zoom. And I'm sure during this pandemic when people had to socially distant from their buddies, all those summer flings that didn't happen. You away from your sidekicks.
I'm sure they were replaced with people playing five on one for some warm custard.
But what do you call that? OK, what do you call masterbation on his own? The answer is Jeff's last name, Toobin.
OK, masturbating on Zoome call should absolutely be called Tubin from here on out. All right Toubon you meet on Zoome OK Toubon the purple headed yogurt slinger on Zoome OK Tube and the mayonnaise river on Zoome Tube and the hand puppet on his own. Listen a lot of your judging Jeff Toobin on Zoome but you two have met the Goutman at midnight on June.
All right. Just not during a business call. All right.
Now back in November of 2019, Jeff Toobin was reacting to a New York Times report that Trump was briefed on the whistleblower complaint before releasing military aid to Ukraine. And Jeff's reaction to Trump is our reaction currently to him now.
He got caught. Simple. Yes, he did get caught. Tubin for tartar sauce on Zoome. Please give Jeff Toobin the sweet sounds and Hamilton's.
Are you all about of the. On the doggie holiday. He oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Let the record show Angelie you because you're not in studio. Somebody in this room. All right. Mind you, it's five men in here. Somebody in your room early was like a party for you earlier said what's wrong with that.
When I was discussing this story, when I was just doing it around the room.
I'm not that person, this person. What's wrong with that. What did he say? He says the suspension might be a little too far down.
Let me explain it at party play. What's wrong with that?
Because he didn't do anything for this person, I'm going to say, because how do we know it wasn't on accident? He did. He took a break from his own call. He didn't know the camera was on. It's not like he was stroking his one eyed monster. Like for people to assume, say, watch this, watch this, watch this. He might have paused it or he might have thought he was off for a second because he probably closed his laptop a little bit and say, hey, let me handle the one I'm on.
And then I get back to absolutely no reason to be. We don't on his business, on call.
We also don't know if he did it on purpose or by accident. How do you know he had no purpose? Only he knows that.
How do you people to see first of all, what do you mean when you say not on purpose? You mean masturbating now?
I mean for people to see he might have done that, you know, exhibitionists. So people get turned on by people watching them.
But let's say it wasn't actually let's say you really just thought he was, you know, you know, pushing the camera away from his junk and wanted to get a little when I monster going before the next zoom.
Could you just say one? I mean, what what do you want me to call it? Buffy the Vampire Slayer, bro, you kick it's a penis. You can't you can say penis it.
Buffy the vampire penis is way better, but you can't stay that way better.
You can stop the one I you're shuffling his iPod. I know. The moral of the story is this, though. I think that this has been a common occurrence during the pandemic. I think it's a lot more people who have been, you know, some accidents.
Yes. Strangling their Cyclopes on Zoome. We're going to call it Tubin from now on. I think a lot of Toubon going on. All right.
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