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Hey, what's going on? Everybody, I'm Trevor Noah and this is the Daily Social Distancing Show. Today is Monday, March twenty second, which means it's now officially spring in the Northern Hemisphere. Yeah, maybe the sun is shining, the flowers are blooming and the birds and the bees are doing their thing.


You know, that thing that I totally understand. But why don't you tell me what you think it is? Because I know what it is.


Anyway, coming up on tonight's show, the royal family needs some black friends. The NCAA needs some female friends. And we'll be chatting with my friend Michelle Obama. We can legally say she's my friend. Yeah, we can't. So what?


So let's do this, people.


Welcome to the daily social distancing show from Trevor's couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the Daily Social Decency Show with no use of. Let's kick things off with spring break, the one week a year when college students drink and party, this is now the second year that spring break has fallen during coronavirus. But things are a little different now. At this time last year, many people hadn't started taking the pandemic seriously yet, but this year they've stopped taking the pandemic seriously too soon.


Spring break, state of emergency overnight. More chaos on Miami Beach. A wild weekend of mostly Maskell's. People packing the streets, police shooting pepper balls to disperse the crowd setting off a stampede. More than a thousand people arrested there since the start of spring break. Merciless crowds descended into the entertainment district over the weekend, dancing on cars, drinking in the streets, defying an eight p.m. curfew issued Saturday. Tourists have been packing this popular spring break destinations since February.


Back when Florida's governor, Rhonda Santurce, declared the state a, quote, oasis of freedom from coronaviruses restrictions, Governor Romney said.


State, no matter how come it hasn't got one guy dressed as the Joker climbed on top of a car with an American flag, tossed dollar bills and declared covid over, oh oh oh.


Oh, wow, the new Snyder cut is weird as hell, but let's be clear here, covid is not over, all right? Some random dude can't declare the end of the pandemic by dressing up like the Joker and making it rain. It's not a thing. Only Dr. Foushee can declare the end of the pandemic by dressing up like the Joker and making it rain. And look, you can't totally blame the Musketeers partying on college students. I mean, this is what's going to happen after Florida's governor called the state a, quote, freedom oasis.


Like if I put a Starbucks sign above my apartment door, I can't be mad when people show up and try to take a shit in my bathroom. But still, there's no reason that you can't celebrate spring break and wear a mask.


It can even be part of the fun. I mean, just think about how sexy a wet mask contest could be.


I mean, we haven't seen a mouse in a year. What's under there?


And if we've learned anything from Miami, this is just a preview of how much everyone is going to let loose once the pandemic is truly over. People have been locked up for too long. Once it ends and we're going to be drinking and partying, hooking up with everyone, it's going to be so much that is going to create the next worldwide virus. Yeah, guys are going to be waking up in bed next to a bat like, oh, I think I did it again.


But let's move on to this week's big political news. President Raisen Biden, he's facing a lot of challenges in his first 100 days, the vaccine rollout, the crisis at the border. What happened to his frizzle? But over the weekend, he faced his biggest challenge yet, staying upright.


White House spokesperson has blamed wind gusts for President Biden's stumbling three times as he attempted to climb the stairs onto Air Force One. This happened as the commander in chief was boarding the aircraft to fly to Georgia. The same White House spokesperson added that Mr. Biden is doing, quote, 100 percent fine and did not require medical attention.


I'm sorry, guys. I honestly can't believe that this happened.


The president got knocked over by wind, is going to be the first president with a Secret Service needs to carry around paperweights.


Hold on. Hold on. We got you. We got you. Someone sneezed for real, though. Why couldn't they just say that he tripped? Tripping on stairs is a normal thing. You don't need to lie about it.


But saying you got blown over by the wind that is so much weirder is like if your roommate walked in on you jerking off and instead of just telling him, you're like, oh, no, I'm touching my penis for the night, I put it away for safekeeping. And by the way, people, it's not like this just happened to Joe Biden. All right. It happens all the time. Biden tripped, Obama tripped. Mike Pence tripped.


And the reason isn't because they're old. The reason is because they were running up and down stairs. You shouldn't do that. That would never happen in Africa. I mean, mostly because all presidents fly commercial and they've got to wait for their boarding group to be called. But you get what I mean. The point is, we don't think about it because we use this so much. No one thinks about it. But Stanzel, basically an obstacle course.


You take one wrong step and you're going to eat shit. And that's one thing. One thing that my men Trump understood. You love him or hate him, but you've got to treat them with respect. He understood that you walk up slowly, you hold the banister, and you swear to God that if he lets you survive this, you'll never walk upstairs ever again. And finally, the British royal family, a.k.a. the world's number one exporter of black daughters-in-law, the royals have gotten a lot of criticism for some old fashioned racist attitudes, but now they're committing to making a major step into the 20th century.


This morning, in the aftermath of disturbing claims of racism made by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, there are now reports that the royal family will soon appoint a diversity chief. Yeah, it was during an interview with Oprah that Harry and Meghan said that an unnamed member of the royal family raised the issue of how dark their child would be, potentially. A Buckingham Palace source says that plans had been in the works for a so-called diversity czar prior to the explosive interview.


OK, I think it's great that the royal family is hiring a diversity czar, but you guys don't have to pretend that you were already planning on doing this. I mean, this isn't a family that cares about diversity. The queen has been in power for, what, 70 years and she's only ever had one kind of dog. So clearly, the royal family could use some help from a diversity czar. You know, they can teach the queen why it was wrong for the one black Spice Girl to be called scary.


You know, they can teach her what BBC really stands for. Hell, the only thing they don't need to teach the queen is how to dress the black church. But the big question is, how exactly will the diversity czar carry out all these changes? Well, to find out, I'm. Really excited to announce that we have been granted an exclusive interview with the new diversity czar for the royal family. I think we actually have him on now.


Hello. Hello, Trevor. Have or should I say hello, Trevor? Michael Costa.


You're the queen's diversity. How did you get the job that Prince William and I go way back the Windsors used to hire me to lose to him in tennis?


No, I mean I mean, you're a white guy. Like, why wouldn't the royal family hire somebody more diverse for the diversity job?


Well, you know, they thought about it, but then people were so angry after the whole Archie controversy, they just decided to make black people happy and pick a white guy.


No, I don't think that, you know, whatever. OK, let's just let's just get into it. What is your plan to make the royal family more accepting of diversity? Well, first off, people underestimate how diverse the royal family already is. We have Welsh people. We have Scottish people. We have zombies. It's a rainbow over here.


And none of those actually count. The royal family needs to do a better job of promoting exclusivity among black and brown people.


Way ahead of you, Trevor. And and we've got a great idea for how to do that. You see, the problem with the British is that too many of them are white. So our new idea is for the British to reach out to non-white countries and make them British. Boom, instant diversity.


Costo, that sounds like colonization. What? No, no.


I'm describing partnership. Britain's partners give Britain their diversity and also their raw materials. And in return, Britain will teach them cricket, the world's most exciting sport. This is a win win for everyone. That is definitely colonization. You're talking about restarting the British Empire.


Look, call it whatever you want to it. But the fact is, this is the only way the royal family is going to survive. Now, look, do you want more seasons of the crown or not?


Oh, all right. Good luck with your colonisation, Costa. Thank you. Really want to see season five, Michael Costa, everybody. All right. Let's move on now to our top story. March Madness. It's the most fun way to gamble away your steamy. This year's tournament has already seen its fair share of upsets like Oral Roberts making it to the Sweet Sixteen and I'm guessing from its name, also third base. But the biggest shock of the tournament so far didn't happen on the court.


It happened in the weight room.


The NCAA is apologizing after being criticized for the stark difference in the fitness facilities provided to the men and the women competing in the college basketball tournaments. Oregon Sedona Prince gave us a glimpse of the weight room differences in social media video last Thursday.


So for the NCAA March Madness, the biggest tournament in college basketball for women, this is our weight room. Let me show you all the men's weight room. As you can see, the men were provided with a lot more equipment than the women. It did not take long for the NCAA to make changes, though.


By Saturday, the NCAA sharing the new set up for the women's prince, thanking everyone who helped.


Guess what, guys? We got away room.


Yeah, damn, that's ice cold, because that's not a weight room. That's just the rack of weights that you buy in the beginning of quarantine and then never use. And honestly, this is surprising because usually the NCAA treats male and female athletes equally. I mean, they definitely pay them both the same amount.


But to be fair, at least the NCAA made it right after the uproar. They gave the women the same amenities that the men's weight room has, more machines, more weights. And they even added the guy who always makes way too much noise when he's lifting.


Oh, yeah.


This is how you know that I'm strong now. It was upsetting enough when people saw the difference in men's and women's weight rooms. But it turns out that sexism in the NCAA is a lot like Face Forstchen. Once you're aware of it, you start noticing it everywhere.


But it's not just the weight room. The covid test different for the men's tournament, the more accurate PCR test at the women's antigen test. Another complaint, a quick look at the official March Madness Twitter account. The bio reads the official NCAA March Madness destination for all things Division one, NCAA men's basketball. No mention of the women's tournament.


The men have been provided with a brand new NCAA court with March Madness, the Utah logo in the middle. We're in the women's court. You're going to still see two lines for the men's line and the women's line for three point shots. There's a volleyball court on one of the courts. It doesn't even look like an NCAA game.


There are differences in food options for the men's and women's teams, as well as the difference in gift bags given to players.


The men were given a large number of custom items designed for March Madness, while the women's had a few generic items, including a one hundred fifty piece puzzle and a towel that said NCAA. Women's basketball, plus an umbrella, a puzzle. That is a trash gift, and what's even worse is when you complete it, it shows a picture of the men's team enjoying a free steak dinner. Seriously, how are you going to give the players a puzzle that is not swag?


People, when you look at all of this together, the differences are so stark, it almost seems less like sexism and more like the NCAA didn't even know that the women were coming. You know, it's so bad. It's almost like the women were knocking on the door and the NCAA was just scrambling. Oh, shit. The ladies are here. Do we have anything to give them? I ordered a burger for lunch. OK, it'll work.


Just chop it up and save Slider's one. What else do we have? Swag. I think there's an umbrella in the closet. Yeah, it'll work. It'll work. We were so clearly casual. Sexism has pervaded almost every aspect of the play experience at this tournament. But it's not just a problem for the players. It's also affecting the coaches.


There was also an article in the athletic this morning about some of the female coaches who are working in the tournament and how the NCAA is basically penalizing them in their teams. If they have, say, a baby who depends on them for food, that baby can sit inside the bubble against the total that they can bring in. So that coach's team, if they want to feed their child, has to have one less athletic trainer, one less other coach, one less person in the traveling part.




OK, now that that is positively ridiculous. No one should be punished for having children. The children are already punishment enough, not to mention asking a coach to choose between her baby and a trainer for the team. I mean, that's a really great way to get the rest of the team to take that baby. I mean, you could be getting a deep tissue massages right now if it wasn't for little Derrick.


Now, I don't know why this seems so hard, but there's an obvious solution here. All you should do is have the baby be the assistant coach. After all, a crying baby can be very motivational.


Oh, what do you want? A blanket? A body? Do you want me to win the tournament? Is that it? OK, I'll win the tournament. Just please take a nap. Take a nap. Oh, stop crying.


The fact is, the way that the women have been treated during this tournament has been disgraceful. I mean, the only silver lining is that it's made the NCAA favoritism towards male athletes as blatant and impossible to ignore as that one guy in the gym.


Who does anyone want to date me? No, you're young. You're three.


All right. When we come back, Michelle Obama will be joining me on the show.


Yeah, you don't miss it. The Daily Show, Eres Edition and the following message are brought to you by Norton LifeLock Hate doing taxes. There are a lot of people out there who would love to do them for you, not just tax specialists, cyber criminals and identity thieves to during tax season. Your personal info, like your name and Social Security number, may be emailed and shared more than usual.


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And then some Xfinity The Future of Awesome. Welcome back. So the daily social distancing show, earlier today, I spoke to former first lady Michelle Obama. We talked about her new Netflix show, changing the conversation around eating healthy and how the White House years have prepared her for lockdown.


Michelle Obama, welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show.


It's my first time being on your show. It's just, you know, I'm sad that it's not in face to face or in person, but I'm glad I am.


I'm sad. I'm sad, too. But I don't you still here. I have gotten used to this being here for me. So, you know, it's still you. Yeah. You're going to tell me, like your personality changes when you're in person. It does not.


I'm maybe I'm more silly in person, but I've gotten silly on, you know, in June too. I can do it both now. Just plain silly.


Before we get into talking about your projects, let's talk a little a little bit about that. I would love to know on a personal level what your life has felt like since you left the White House, because I remember and I mean, I was one of the fans, maybe because I also had had journeys. I remember everyone just being like, wow, Michelle, the afro and the hairs come and everyone was just like, she just she's got a different swag about her.


Wasn't there a weight that's lifted from your shoulders when leaving the White House as first lady?


Absolutely. I mean, for for so many reasons. I mean, you know, being the first lady and be the press, it's a it's a huge responsibility. And being the first, you know, we felt a deep responsibility to do it right and to do it better, to be careful with our words, all the things we thought were important things like.


Thinking about what you say before you say it, you know, telling the truth, you know, getting your facts right, all of this, we were worried for no reason we could have done it so differently.


It could have been easier. But no, no, we were doing the traditional thing. And so, you know, it was a big responsibility, a big weight on our shoulders, but it was an honor to serve. And we kept our eye focused on just every day trying to show up. Right. And push the ball forward on the issues that we cared about.


But we were also doing it while raising our kids. All right. So right. You know, they were 10 and seven when we entered. They lived in the White House longer than they lived in any house they've ever lived in.


So they they were growing up right in that spotlight. And so we had that pressure of getting through the adolescent years, in the teen years and sending it to college.


So we were exhausted and stressed because not only are you trying to get it right on the big picture level, but you're trying to get it right as a parent. And now we're on the other end of that on literally on the other end of all of that.


And our kids are about to be twenty three and twenty. Our oldest is graduating from college. They are alive.


So all of that, you know, being at the end of that part of the journey, you know, it you know, I am in a different place.


I feel freer. I feel more at peace. I'm also older. So I'm more comfortable. I'm even more comfortable in my own skin.


I can imagine so. So, yeah, yeah.


It was, you know, I mean, living in the White House is like living in an nice older hotel where you can't get out unless you call 20 people.


It almost feels like you were living a sort of quarantined life before.


All of this is what I tell people. This is why we're fine. Barack and I are like, what? You can't go out just when you want to. Yeah, you're like this. We've been doing that for eight years. You've got security with you at all times. You can't make a move. And you have to think about how your movements impact the rest of the world. Every time we went out, we had to think about it.


It's like who's going to have to shut down what gate? How is this going to disrupt this whole community? Because the presidential motorcade is coming through, we have to worry about agents and not doing something that will put them in harm's way.


We're good in quarantine. We're like, welcome to our world.


Everyone has been somebody who has been not just an icon, but but somebody that people have followed so passionately from the beginning. And and what I loved about reading your book and and talking to your husband is that, you know, is getting into the familial side of things, the personal side of things. I've always wanted to know from your perspective, because a lot of people may not think of it like this because of president, but you're the cool one in the relationship.




And so like but Barack was like this, like, you know, it's like like you say in your book, who's this? Who's this like, you know what I mean. And yes, he's Mr. President, don't get me wrong. But I mean, to us, Barack, is there a part of you that like when it was done, you were like, all right, finally the power balance can go back to what it was?


Well, he's still pretty cool, you know. Oh, definitely.


But I mean, you know, I mean, it's like a game of chess. You want to lose the queen, you know that.


I'm going to use that at dinner tonight. Right.


But what's fun to see is how it feels like you are each other's biggest fans, the way you show your love towards each other. You've never been afraid to do that. But at the same time, there's also a healthy, competitive spirit. I mean, whether you're selling books, whether you're releasing your your work on Netflix and creating documentaries, is there a little bit of that when you look at your numbers and then you go, I mean, you know, you going like Barry, you doing well, but, you know you know, is there a little bit of that?


Yeah, yeah, yeah.


Barack is super competitive, so, you know, and shoot, let me I am too. So yeah. There's a little there's a little bit of that. I mean but you know, you can do that when you know your partner holds their own. It's it's a nice, funny joke, you know. I mean if he if he wrote his book and nobody bought it, we wouldn't be joking about it. Right. We would be like, honey, you're doing a great job.


Oh, he has a great book. Great book. We love it.


And tell your dad how much you like his book. You know, I mean, he's written like a thousand book.


You know, he's like, yeah, I've done this before.


You're the new you know, he was he fed us on his book books for a very long time. So, you know, it's a funny joke when it's, you know. We're is not true when it's when it's not fully true, the kids are actually joking, they're talking about how, you know, Mom's doing a lot of work out there. Dad, you're at home looking kind of cute.


You know, they're like you're now the one that is hilarious.


You are the cute one, Mr. President.


But anyway, when we come back, more with Mrs. Obama. You don't want Mrs.. It's crazy how much we have to pay for outdated, impersonal health care. And even crazier that we all just accept it. It's time to face facts. Health care is backwards. Luckily, there's forward a new approach to primary care that surprisingly personal and refreshingly straightforward forward never makes you feel like just another patient backed by top rated doctors. And the latest tech forward gives you access to personalized care whenever you need it.


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Visit. Go forward dotcom today to learn more. That's go forward, Dotcom. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Here's more of my conversation with Michelle Obama.


Let's talk a little bit about your new project on Netflix. It is it's a passion of yours that we've known from the very beginning, and that is eating healthy. You know, America has internationally established a reputation as being the country where people have some of the most unhealthy choices in how they eat. I remember when I came to America, I didn't understand it genuinely came to America. I ate the way I ate in South Africa, did not really care.


And then I got here and I remember the first time I came was traveling around the US and nobody knew me. I was doing my thing was around twenty ten and I gained I think it was 18 to 20 pounds in six months and I didn't realize this was happening to me. And then I went back to South Africa and in Africa because there's no like body shaming in that way. Everyone was just like, wow, did you eat half of America?


What happened to you? Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know.


You know, and it was it was actually interesting because I didn't think I changed anything. I didn't. But then I came to realize how hard it is for so many Americans to eat healthy, to exist, healthy, to be healthy. And that's always been your passion, which is part of the show that you have on Netflix Waffles and watching the most adorable exploration of eating healthy. Please just talk me through why you thought, you know what? This is the avenue that I'm going to take to further this message for what I'm passionate about.


The co creators, Erica Thorn, Ellen and Jeremy Connor, you came up with this idea because, you know, Jeremy had young kids and struggled with this is a parent getting their kids excited about vegetables. So they came up with the idea and presented it to us and kind of proposed, would you be in it? And I looked at the concept and thought this this is a no brainer. I mean, this is what we had been talking about for eight years through Let's Move is that you can have these conversations not making them punitive or not shaming people, but just beginning to introduce positive concepts about what food is, making it fun, making it enjoyable.


Now, the part that I'm excited about is the work that we're doing through the past the love campaign, where we're hoping to do more education around food insecurity and rising food deserts and reminding people that there are millions of people in this country that are going hungry even as they sit in communities with food all around them.




But it's it's it's the type of food so many families don't have access to fresh produce. If they want to buy a bundle of kale, they've got to get on a bus or it costs way too much money they don't have the ability to do at home cooking.


The past the love campaign is designed to raise money to help feed a million families in this country.


What I love about waffles and mulches, I mean, we all grew up watching puppets and cartoons, and it's really fun to see these discussions. Like my favorite episode is just the arguments about whether a tomato is a fruit or vegetable. I've had this fight with people my entire life, tomatoes, avocados, whatever it is, I go, Hey man, I have a simple metric. Is it sweet? Then it's a fruit and then people want to fight with me.


And I think it's fun. It's fun to engage with that. I can imagine enjoying that with kids and having these conversations because I grew up funny. I grew up loving vegetables and the reason I grew up loving vegetables is because we didn't always have a lot of food. And I realized very, very young that if I could learn to love the things that nobody else wanted, then I would always have have for all the other kids they were running for, like the meat and the fish.


And I was like, I'll take the broccoli, I'll take the cauliflower. And I just learned to love it. But it's cool to see from that side for the kids.


Yeah, I knew you were on the other side with pasta love.


What I've really enjoyed is you having the conversation about the truth, about how difficult it is. You know, a lot of the time in America, people blame the victim. Yes. They go, you should be eating healthy. You should be making better choices. You should.


And then I remember when I when I first got to America, I was like, wow, how much is an avocado that's like this or how much is this? Because in South Africa, the treat is the MacDonalds. Your family can't just buy you that every day in America. It's like, no, the fast food is affordable and that's no.


Yeah, that's how it was for us growing up. So this is also generational. I mean, the whole notion of going out wasn't something that you did. People couldn't afford it and it wasn't available like that. So going to a fast food place was a treat. But for the most part, being able to afford to live meant you had to cook. That was the cheapest way to. Yes, you bought a whole chicken. You knew how to cut it up.


You knew how to dice up some some some vegetables. You you knew how to cook a pot of green. I mean, that's how we all grew up, and it's with this change in sort of mass producing, you know, the quick, easy and understandably parents struggle with that because everybody's busy now and we're overworked. So it's easy to pick up, grab something, pop something to do something processed. And we don't realize that these processed foods are high in sugar and salt in ways that that's the kind of thing that affects you.


It's it's the content of the food. People think, well, a French fry is a potato and it's like, well, you know, if that's all you're eating and it's fried and it's processed, you're getting extra stuff in there.


So, you know, the key, like you said, is not to shame people, not to blame folks. And that's where it gets personal because people do feel judged and criticized for doing the best that they can. So that's why we start with kids. It's like, let's make these conversations fun again.


Not not a lot of stick, but a whole lot of carrot, which is what we try to do with let's move. Let's not talk about not eliminating soda and soda is bad.


Let's talk about drinking more water. Right. Because if you drink more water by that very nature, you will drink less soda. That doesn't make soda bad. We're just talking about drink a little more water. So, you know, we've had to learn how to balance that because even in the White House, we got criticized for having those conversations.


I mean, getting kids to eat healthy was a controversial. And people were like, how dare she? It's nanny state.


And I'm like, I. I thought we were like some like even, you know, sort of like what? What.


So, you know, you had to sort of be really strategic and how you talked about this so that people wouldn't feel like you were judging the very core of who they are. And that's the thing.


Food is personal, you know, and waffles. And most Mokey address the notion that, you know, cultures are built on the food that they eat. You know, it's love, it's family. However you do it. It is. It's at the core of who we are. So you've got to be careful not to judge the way people do it. Just offer them different approaches, you know, open their minds and starting with kids who will bring their own curiosity.


I saw this dish cooked on the show. Can we try it? And you notice the cooking is done a lot on hot plates, in toaster ovens. You know, a lot of vegetables. It's accessible and that's for a reason. And the recipes are on the website along with the past the love campaign waffles and McKeag. So we're encouraging people to interact with the show through the website. And kids can earn their badges like Waffles and Motoki. So, you know, again, our our goal is to make it fun.


Well, I think you're well on the way to achieving that goal, and I really hope that personal love goes from a million to 10 million to one hundred million until there's no need to pass any more love. Michelle Obama, thank you so much for taking the time. Thank you for joining us. Say hi to the husband and good luck on the rest of your journey.


So good to see you. Congratulations on all your good stuff. Very proud of you.


Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Don't forget, Waffles and Mokey is available now on Netflix. We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this.


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Let's make it interesting with William Hill Sportsbook. Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go, please consider supporting former first lady Michelle Obama's possible love with Waffles and Mokey campaign. They're working to raise awareness of food equity and help bring one million meals to families in need by supporting the love you're helping provide meal kits to families facing food insecurity and spread the joy of cooking with fresh ingredients just like waffles and mochi on their adventures. So if you're able to go to the link below and donate whatever you can until tomorrow, stay safe out there, wear a mask and remember, please do not run up the stairs.


And if you do, film it so we can make jokes when you fall.


The Daily Show with Criminal Lawyers Edition wants The Daily Show weeknights at 11:00, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central Watch full episodes and videos at The Daily Show Dotcom. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. If you're ready to travel again, Dulles International and Reagan National airports are working hard to help you have a safe and enjoyable journey. We've implemented health and safety measures like sanitizing more often and requiring face coverings.


And with shopping and dining options available in every concourse, you can enjoy a meal or grab a snack before you board, visit Amway Dotcoms Safety to learn more about our safety measures and see available concessions.


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This has been a Comedy Central podcast now.