Happy Scribe Logo

Transcript

Proofread by 0 readers
Proofread
[00:00:00]

You're listening to Comedy Central now. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show. I'm Trevor Noah. It is Wednesday, August 19th. And here's your quarantine tip of the day. If you're still bumping into those people who try to force you to shake hands with them. Here's what you should do. When they reach out to shake your hand, you go in for the kiss. They'll never make that mistake again. I know because some guy did it to me.

[00:00:27]

I try to shake his hand and then he looked me. Anyway, yesterday was day two of the Democratic National Convention, and we're going to tell you why Joe Biden had a party in a children's library, why this man is holding a plate of calamari and why Kamala Harris isn't really black.

[00:00:42]

So let's do this, people. Welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. From Trivers Couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world, the daily social distancing show presents. The Democratic National Convention on Electing America's first black president, Sprent.

[00:01:05]

Last night was the halfway point of the all virtual Democratic National Convention, and the night began with the convention's keynote address. Now, traditionally, the keynote was given by one speaker who goes on to either become president or the grandpa you hide from company. But this year, the keynote was delivered by 17 people, which actually gave exposure to a broader range of the party's rising stars, while also capitalizing on everyone's deep fondness for getting trapped on an endless FaceTime call.

[00:01:36]

And it wasn't just the keynote that was switched off for this new online format.

[00:01:40]

The traditional roll call also saw a major change, and in my opinion, it was for the better because normally when each state announces which candidate will be receiving their delegates, it's just a bunch of people shouting in an arena while wearing the world's dumbest hats.

[00:01:55]

But this year, they mix things up and they did roll call from a picturesque or meaningful location in each state. And I got to say, I thought this was a much more interesting way to do it. I mean, you got to see people in front of cows or on the beach or locked outside their house. And while many of the people in the videos were party activists, some recognizable faces popped up to like Amy Klobuchar, representing Minnesota from the banks of the Mississippi River, or Mayor Pete Buttigieg beaming in live from men in black headquarters.

[00:02:27]

And my favourite part by far was watching everyone try and hype up their state.

[00:02:33]

Ohio cast 20 votes for Senator Bernie Sanders and one hundred and thirty four votes for the next president, Joe Biden. All right.

[00:02:41]

I know Tennessee became the thirty six and deciding state to ratify the 19th Amendment, granting women the right to vote. Tennessee casts twenty three votes for Bernie Sanders and 50 votes for our next president of the United States, Mr.. And I stayed up appetizer calamari is available in all 50 states, the calamari come back state of Rhode Island casts one vote for Bernie Sanders and thirty four votes for the next president, Joe Biden.

[00:03:16]

OK, first of all, it is so awesome that Rhode Island has a state appetizer. I mean, technically, New York has one, too, but it's that liquid that drips off a building into your mouth by accident. Yeah, I never look up to see where it comes from, because as long as you don't know, there's still a chance that it's just water. Please let it be water cheesiness.

[00:03:35]

Let it be water. But the thing about the Rhode Island guy is he could totally be making up this calamari thing and nobody knows enough about Rhode Island to call him on it. I mean, he could have said Rhode Island is the only state where Shaquille O'Neal can legally own a convertible.

[00:03:49]

And I would have been like, oh, that's cool. I didn't know that. But in general, I loved everything about this roll call. It was like state Tynda, although it also proves America has no business being one country. I mean, you've got Tennessee proudly mentioning the role in women's suffrage and then Rhode Island being like, we have biomass appetisers. Now, the whole night wasn't just a fascinating tour of American seafood.

[00:04:11]

There were also speeches from Jill Biden, Bill Clinton, Colin Powell, and a quick appearance from AOC in a time when millions of people in the United States are looking for deep, systemic solutions to our crisis of mass evictions, unemployment and lack of health care. And at spiritual Pueblo and out of a love for all people, I hereby seconded the nomination of Senator Bernard Sanders of Vermont for president of the United States of America.

[00:04:42]

OK, OK. Now I know what you're thinking and what you're thinking. You're thinking AOC snub Joe Biden at his own convention.

[00:04:49]

And I get why you might think that, because a bunch of media outlets who should know better try to make it seem like that's what went down. But the truth is that this was exactly what was supposed to happen. All right. By the rules of the Democratic Party, any candidate who wins enough delegates like Bernie Sanders did gets nominated at the convention as a way to remind them that they lost in front of the entire country. But look, I think it makes sense that a lot of people didn't know the rules about the Democratic convention.

[00:05:19]

And if you didn't know the rules and you saw what AOC did, you would be confused. I mean, that happens with any situation. Imagine if you had never been to a wedding before. Right. And then on your wedding day, the priest went through the rituals. You could also get confused with that. Does anyone here have any reason why these two should not be married? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Should not be. Are you trying to sabotage my ship?

[00:05:40]

So it's just a tradition or tradition or some bullshit. I'm not paying that to us people for a reason. You know, her mama's got to read. I don't want people to know my reasons. But the next big moment was when Joe Biden officially became the Democratic nominee. And for reasons I don't understand, the DNC also made it the weirdest moment.

[00:06:19]

Thank you very, very much from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. It means the world to me and my family. And I'll see you on Thursday. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[00:06:31]

What the hell was that? The music, the basement library. The cheap party decorations.

[00:06:40]

After the Democrats had millions of dollars for this, why did it feel like the grand opening of a used car dealership? Like, did they blow all their money on the calamari? And by the way, I don't know whose idea this was, but you can't be jumping out from behind Joe Biden like that. The man is seventy seven years old and trying to send him to the White House, not the hospital. I mean, I get that they had to adapt because of Corona, but there must be a middle ground between PECT Arena and basement school library.

[00:07:07]

A school library isn't where you accept the presidential nomination. It's where you go to have lunch when you don't have any friends regardless. Joe Biden is now officially the Democratic nominee, but the convention is only half over because tonight the big speakers were Barack Obama and Kamala Harris, the first ever black woman to be nominated for VP, although according to conservative media, she might not be black enough.

[00:07:33]

Some have challenged her racial identity and criticized her for identifying as black when her parents are Jamaican and Indian.

[00:07:41]

We talk about called African-American, her followers from Jamaica and from Africa. He's from Jamaica, so she's not really an American black. Kamala Harris is not an African-American. If you dare raise that, you're attacked. But the truth is, she's not she's not African-American.

[00:08:00]

She doesn't have slave blood. She's not down for the struggle.

[00:08:02]

She's constantly talking how she went to an historically black college. She is adopting Oakland as her hometown, even though she grew up from the age of seven to the age of 18.

[00:08:11]

In Canada, Kamala Harris descended from the largest slave owner slave owner in Jamaica. Kamala Harris seems to be descended less from the legacy of, let's say, Frederick Douglass than she is from the legacy of the plantation itself.

[00:08:26]

Wow, that is fascinating. And I know a lot of people haven't heard that before, Dinesh.

[00:08:31]

OK, first of all, being partly descended from a slave owner is one of the blackest things that can happen to you. In fact, you know who was also the descendant of a slave owner, Frederick Douglass? Yeah. So the guy you just tried to use the example of someone who is super black is also, by your metric, not black enough.

[00:08:50]

Look, man, you can dissect Kamala Harris heritage however you want, but to say she's not black. Ask yourself this question. Is she black enough to get kicked out of a restaurant back in the day in the Jim Crow South? Huh? Would she have been black enough to get red lines? Is she black enough to be kept out of a whites only school as a little girl? Then she's black. People would be like, oh, you're not black, you're not black.

[00:09:14]

There's no simple test yet. You know how you know you're black if you're dating a white person and before you meet their parents for the first time, they start a sentence with, hey, listen, so before we head inside, you're black.

[00:09:26]

And what's especially ironic about these people trying to exclude Comilla from blackness is that it's the reverse of what white America did for centuries, defining as many people as black as possible, whether they wanted it or not, color and who qualifies as black, who qualifies as white has historically been policed not by those who were the targets of oppression, but by those who set up the system of oppression in America.

[00:09:52]

Blackness was defined by that auction block. You were black. If you could be put on that auction block and sold as property.

[00:09:59]

Following the abolition of slavery, some Americans feared a rise in interracial relationships. So states began passing laws to make sure that any child with even one drop of Negro blood would be classified as Negro and denied the rights of white people. This became known as the one drop rule.

[00:10:14]

The one drop rule was an attempt to save the so-called purity of the white race. By nineteen twenty five, nearly every state had a form of the one drop rule on their books.

[00:10:26]

All you need is one person, five generations back who is black, and that is enough to make you black.

[00:10:33]

Seriously, one black person in your family has the power to make you black, but all the white people in your family can't make you whites. If anything, I feel like this was also racist to white people. I mean, imagine that they were basically saying ten white sperm is not as powerful as one black sperm. That is an insult to white sperm. And I'm offended on behalf of all my white brothers and sisters.

[00:10:56]

Basically, these people were so afraid of black people that if you had so much as one drop of black blood, they wanted nothing to do with you. The same way if you find one tiny bug in your salad, then the whole thing is ruined. I'd have to throw it away. I'll give it to Stephen Miller.

[00:11:14]

And here's the thing. This definition of blackness was never meant to accurately portray the black experience or many shades of blackness itself, it was made with the singular intention of finding the most efficient way to exclude as many people as possible from whiteness. So, yes, it is disgusting. But these people are now trying to disqualify Kamala Harris from being black. But I will say this, Kamala, don't worry. This might also be a rites of passage on the road to greatness, because, you see, it turns out there's another black person who also wasn't black enough.

[00:11:48]

Rupert Murdoch suggested President Obama isn't a real black president.

[00:11:53]

He hasn't actually had the African-American experience. In fact, he's not descended from slaves on either side of his family.

[00:11:59]

Obama did not grow up in poverty. His grandmother, the typical white woman, worked in a bank. He wasn't done with the struggle. He doesn't have slave blood.

[00:12:09]

This guy grows up in Hawaii with a Kansas mother. His life is different. He doesn't suffer in many of the ways that blacks growing up in this country have suffered.

[00:12:17]

He is not the descendant of blacks who suffered these Jim Crow laws, who suffered through slavery. He is not the son, the grandson, the great grandson of American blacks who went through the American experience. OK, wait, hold hold on, hold on. Hold on. So these people agree that the American black experience is about struggle, suffering and oppression. But when black people are protesting that oppression in the streets, suddenly they're like, why are you guys protesting?

[00:12:42]

You people got your Marvel movie? You guys remember Wakanda forever? I don't know why you guys are complaining.

[00:12:48]

And that's one of the things I've always found particularly interesting. Your blackness as a person is never questioned in failure, but in success. It gets put under the microscope, like when a black person steals something or when they sell crack or when they shoot another black person. I've never heard anybody on Fox News going. Hold on, hold on, hold on. This might not be black on black crime. Maybe it's half Indian on black crime. Or maybe his great grandfather was a white man.

[00:13:16]

Crime on crime.

[00:13:17]

But as soon as blackness is being considered for excellence and perfection, what is often being considered the domain of whiteness. That's when white people start questioning someone's black credentials. I mean, look at Obama. He spent his entire life as a black man, even had the afro. But as soon as there was a chance that he was going to become the first black president, all of a sudden it was, well, he's not like black, black.

[00:13:39]

I mean, if anything, he was more shaped by his white mother from Kansas. So if anything, America is getting its first term presidents. But then a funny thing happened. Once Obama got into the White House and conservatives didn't like his policies, he magically transformed into that black ass homeboy who's destroying the country. Didn't hear a lot about his white mom in Kansas then. So I guess that's the silver lining for you, Comilla. Fox News may be questioning your blackness now, but best believe the second you step foot into that White House with Joe Biden and you make a few decisions they don't like.

[00:14:10]

Trust me, you'll be black as can be. We have to take a quick break, but when we come back, we're going to a pool party in Woo Wake like Woo Woo Hun. Between the years of 1967 and 1972, over 300 commercial airplanes were hijacked worldwide, with over 130 of those occurring in the United States alone. This period would become known as the golden age of hijacking when I decided that I would hijack a plane. I started to make preparations for which airport I would grab a plane from.

[00:14:53]

The new podcast, American Skyjacker is the tale of a small time crook named Martin Mack McNally, who dreamed of the ultimate mile high score, hijacking a plane and getting away with five hundred thousand dollars in cash. Just grab a weapon, grab a no, go on the plane and order all the stuff you need. Parachutes, money and bail out.

[00:15:18]

But Max, Highjacking is just the beginning of an epic and incredibly wild, true crime saga.

[00:15:26]

Listen and subscribe to American Skyjacker right now on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to Daily Social Distancing Show, we've been covering the Democratic National Convention all week long, but did you know there's other stuff happening in the world, too? Yeah, and we're going to cover it in another installment of our ongoing segment, Unconventional News.

[00:15:56]

Let's begin in Wuhan, China, home of the worst reviewed farmer's market on Yelp, it has been eight months since the coronavirus began spreading in Wuhan, but now things are back to normal there and the people have decided it's time to celebrate.

[00:16:10]

We're going to turn now to these stunning images out of Wuhan, China. Take a look. A massive concert and pool party right there in the virus's initial epicenter city hasn't reported any new cases since mid-May, but you can see there thousands of partygoers there at a water park for an electronic music festival packed close together, no masks. You'll remember Wuhan was on lockdown for three months, one of the strictest in the world.

[00:16:33]

OK, look, I mean, I understand that Wuhan has had no cases in months. So on the one hand, sure, enjoy your party.

[00:16:40]

But on the other hand, the rest of the world does have a shitload of coronavirus cases and Wuhan is the place to start it. It's I mean, I'm just saying I'm just saying, man, if your house catches fire and then the whole town burns down, it's OK if you rebuild first. I hate you for that, but you don't throw a house party while we were all still sleeping on our front lawns. I mean, maybe it's just me, but it feels a little tasteless to have a pool party in the ground zero of a lethal pandemic.

[00:17:10]

What? Well, they're going to do next.

[00:17:11]

They're going to hire a Korona mascot's KOOCH groups, moon koruna. And I'm coming for you, Grump.

[00:17:18]

Oh, I mean, I will say, though, at least this gives us something to look forward to. You know, I can't wait for the time when you don't have to worry about Korona anymore. And it's safe to go out and catch all the normal diseases that you catch at water parks, because I don't care what anybody says. A pool is just a giant bathtub that's also a toilet. So let's move on to some political news. With all the focus on the presidential race, it is easy to forget that a lot of the energy that drives political parties comes from down ballot races.

[00:17:45]

And by that measure, a brand new nominee for a congressional race in Florida tells you a lot about the direction of the GOP.

[00:17:53]

The very latest election results from the live desk right now. A far right candidate won the Republican primary for the district that represents Mar a Lago.

[00:18:02]

Laura Loomer was banned from Uber and Lyft after refusing to ride with a Muslim driver. And she handcuffed herself to Twitter's headquarters after being banned from the site for referring to Congresswoman Ellen Omar as being pro Sharia law. This is somebody who has called herself a proud Islamophobic and president Donald Trump actually tweeted, congratulating Laura Loomer. You're seeing it right there saying, great going, Laura. You have a great chance against a Pelosi puppet.

[00:18:31]

You know, one thing that never changes is if you do something awful, Trump will congratulate you. You could save a kid from an active volcano and Trump will congratulate the volcano. That volcano is so big, so beautiful, so much magma.

[00:18:50]

Maybe even hotter than my daughter. I don't know, you told me some people are saying I don't know. Think about it. Looma is so bad that she has been banned from. And this is real. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Uber, Lyft, PayPal, Venmo, go fund me medium CPAC and Shakespeare in the park like I'm sorry. How do you get banned from Shakespeare in the park. I mean, sure I did, but that's only because I didn't know I wasn't allowed to ad lib to be or to do something else.

[00:19:25]

You know, it's a tough question. I'm going to have to think about that one. And also, this person was banned from PayPal because that site is like 90 percent Nigerian scammers. And even they would like this user does not reflect our values of cheating the elderly out of their savings by pretending to be grandchildren who need bail money. It is not who we are.

[00:19:46]

It is crazy to think that this person could one day be in Congress and she's not even allowed on most apps. Can you imagine not being able to use Instagram, Facebook or Twitter? Actually sounds kind of nice. Should I be racist in other news? Do you guys remember when the big question on everyone's mind was, did Donald Trump collude with Russia during the twenty sixteen campaign?

[00:20:11]

Remember, it was all anyone talked about. And then Trump let one hundred and seventy thousand Americans die on his watch. And we moved on to that. Well, it turns out the US Senate had not completely forgotten about it. And yesterday they dropped a bombshell reports.

[00:20:25]

A new Senate report says members of the 2016 Trump campaign were eager to accept help from Russia, some of it directed personally by Vladimir Putin.

[00:20:35]

The Republican led Senate Intelligence Committee releasing its final report declaring the 2016 Trump campaign had repeated contacts with Russian operatives on Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign co-chairman. It goes further than the Mueller report, saying he was in close touch with a Russian intelligence officer who became a business partner. It says Manafort posed a grave counterintelligence threat.

[00:20:59]

The report says he may even have been connected to Russia's hacking and leaking of Hillary Clinton campaign emails and operation it says was actually directed by Russian President Putin.

[00:21:09]

The three year investigation also found that President Trump may have misled special counsel Robert Mueller.

[00:21:16]

One of the other headlines is that this committee actually made criminal referrals in June of last year in two nineteen to federal prosecutors on the list of referrals Steve Bannon, Jared Kushner and Donald Trump Jr..

[00:21:31]

That's right. The Republican led Republican led Senate committee referred Steve Bannon, Jared Kushner and Don Junior for criminal charges for lying under oath. And this is good news for Eric. When you're the least favorite child, you get left out of all the family traditions, even the criminal ones. Well, basically, this Senate investigation found that the Trump campaign's contacts with Russia during the twenty sixteen election posed a threat to national security. And the interesting thing about this report is that it's bipartisan with both parties agreeing on the facts.

[00:22:07]

But each party came to a different conclusion about whether the facts meant that there was no collusion. And I will say it's always weird to see the same set of facts that I interpreted that differently. It kind of reminds me of how two different guys will have different stories about how their fight went down. Oh, man, I punched that guy in the face and he was down on the ground. Lights out, man. So, dude, I told that guy, get on my face.

[00:22:30]

And then I took a nap on the sidewalk. It's time to take a quick break. But when we come back, Yabuki Young White checks in on Joe Biden's young fans. Yeah, they exist.

[00:22:40]

Stick around. We're all spending more time around the house than normal, maximizing physical comfort in any way we can, all birds knows that feeling good goes beyond footwear. So they found a new way to put their premium natural materials to use, introducing all new Torino underwear from all birds made with natural materials that are easy on the planet. Instead of harmful chemical ridden fabrics, Treviño undies are designed to give your private parts peace of mind, get intimate with nature, with intimates made with nature, sustainable eucalyptus, fiber and merino combined together make Turino a soft, moisture wicking material.

[00:23:19]

This silky smooth underwear, which comes in both men's and women's styles, stay so dry and fresh throughout the day. It's like going all natural. Producers at The Daily Show love Trina from all birds because it's comfortable and because you can know it's a smart choice for the planet. Obote's makes the carbon footprint of their products visible because they have nothing to hide. And that's another layer of comfort you can take with you when you wear Albats Turino underwear. Feel confident knowing that your private parts in the planet will love all birds.

[00:23:50]

Trena underwear. Find your pair at all birds dotcom today. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. So we are most of the way through the Democratic convention right now, and if you've been watching, you might have noticed that many of the speakers are closer to Golden Girls than Gossip Girls. But there are some new delegates who are changing that. Look, Yabuki Young White has more.

[00:24:16]

The Democratic National Convention, it's basically ComicCon for old people in twenty sixteen. The average superdelegate was 60 years old, which makes sense when the candidates duking it out are pushing 100.

[00:24:31]

But 18 year old DNC delegate Joseph Mullein thinks it's time for a change. That's why he founded the young delegates coalition of what the five 20 somethings left in the Democratic Party.

[00:24:44]

So they're actually two hundred and twenty young delegates as part of our group that we have. What?

[00:24:50]

Yeah, there are hundreds of boomers who want to go to the DNC, this DNC.

[00:24:58]

What are they thinking? You already gotten to college.

[00:25:01]

Why are you padding your resume like this?

[00:25:03]

It's not about padding my resume for me. It's about making sure that we have the future because climate change is very much a threat.

[00:25:09]

I mean, if there are people like Donald Trump who feel like they have enough knowledge and experience to run for a position like president, then why shouldn't I run for a position in my community like this?

[00:25:22]

We need to take back our party and our country. It's so inspiring. And talking to you guys, I didn't start caring about politics until I catch my first Daily Show check.

[00:25:32]

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't been to a club in six months, but this club seems like something that I might want to join.

[00:25:38]

So what are the qualifications for being a young delegate?

[00:25:42]

Do you have to like one hundred get a young delegate is a delegate who's under the age of 35 and the minimum age is 18. You let in 30 somethings. I just feel like no one who has ever said the phrase like I burned you a mix CD qualifies as young, like I was super shocked coming in to chat and saw thirty five year olds.

[00:26:03]

I was like, what is going on? It was terrifying.

[00:26:09]

This was like Lena, the scene so wisely.

[00:26:15]

That's the exact face I pulled up. If these kids think thirty five year olds are decrepit old mommies, then what are they doing at Grandpa Joe's celebration of life?

[00:26:24]

And back in those days, things have changed. One of the things had to use if you use pomade in your hair, you had to wear a baby cap. OK, what is he saying?

[00:26:34]

Help me understand just what is so great about Biden, because he was alive during slavery and did nothing to stop it.

[00:26:41]

When you have someone who doesn't understand the diversity of opinion between different black people versus someone who thinks that all black immigrants come from shithole countries, I would rather try and educate this person because the things that he said pale in comparison to the things that I've heard Donald Trump say.

[00:27:00]

Are you worried that Biden won't be able to hear your concerns?

[00:27:03]

I'm a little bit concerned, but we have to lift our voices up in order to have them heard. No, I meant, like, literally hear them because he's 90 years old, besides voting for their candidate. Delegates are expected to rubber stamp the DNC platform, but not this year.

[00:27:19]

I'm voting no on the platform because Medicare for all is not included. Wow. When I was talking to some of my other Kansas delegates there, like as a Biden delegate, I should know my place and should vote for the platform. But we're not sworn to any campaign. We are sworn to represent the voices and the needs of our constituents. OK, yes.

[00:27:39]

Snaps, snaps.

[00:27:40]

But why is the platform so broken to begin with? These political young children have a few ideas because there's no youth representation in making the platform of the party.

[00:27:49]

We had a resolution come up that said corporate lobbyists should not serve as members of the DNC. But it was odd when it was voted down and the majority of people making speeches against rules to limit lobbyists were lobbyists.

[00:28:03]

You got me fired up. I'm about to send to whom it may concern email. These people got me up.

[00:28:09]

There are measures that are taken so that they don't release the names of the people who are on the DNC platform committee. We did some research and we've gained access to a list of all the folks on the DNC platform committee where they're from, what their previous offices were or where they live.

[00:28:24]

OK, I got you. I got you. I got to drop it. Drop it right now.

[00:28:29]

Let me know, because like I said, they got me and put on my carpal tunnel. Grace, let's go.

[00:28:35]

That's my platform.

[00:28:36]

And just like Joe Biden, watch out for these future presidents coming up from behind.

[00:28:41]

I have a lot of friends that don't want to vote or they want to vote third party. And I always tell them that you have to stay, you have to take up space. And that's really how you're going to change the party. Wow.

[00:28:52]

You have so much faith in the world. I have faith that I, as well as the other people who are young and making changes, can actually do something.

[00:29:01]

I need at least one hundred milligrams of necessary to be that positive.

[00:29:06]

Thank you so much, Yabuki. When we come back, we'll be speaking to a woman who is doing so many things right now. I don't even know how she has time for this interview. Her name is Eva Longoria.

[00:29:15]

Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. So earlier today, I spoke with Eva Longoria, who is not only an award winning actor, producer and director, but she is also an activist committed to lifting up the Latino community and women in Hollywood. Eva Longoria, welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show.

[00:29:35]

How are you? I'm so happy to speak with you. I see you every day, but it's really nice to be able to speak with you.

[00:29:41]

Well, you can you can speak to the TV screen all you want. I don't think anybody I do speak and you can say things to me and then we're speaking to each other many times.

[00:29:50]

I've yelled at you the TV.

[00:29:54]

Welcome to the show. Let's jump straight into it. I mean, you made news this week being part of history, hosting the first virtual Democratic National Convention. Everyone from random people on Twitter to Senator Marco Rubio know random people tweeted out, oh, what is Eva Longoria doing here? She has no idea how to connect with everyday real life Americans. How do you respond to that? Are you not a real life American? What does that even mean to you?

[00:30:24]

All right.

[00:30:26]

I know I've gotten this my entire life because I've been a political activist for twenty five years. I mean, most of my adult life, I've been involved in my civic duty, which I think everybody should. It's like if you told a dentist, oh, shut up and do teeth, like, wait, no, you can't have an opinion because you're a dentist or an actor or a farm worker. I totally understand my my position of privilege today and the work that I've I've done to get to where I'm at.

[00:30:58]

But I was on student loans. I had Pell Grants to get to college. I worked at Wendy's most of my young life to to pay for college. I had student debt. I had debt. I mean, it was not until my my mid thirties that I figured life out. And I approached hosting the the first night of the DNC as a ninth generation Texan as as the daughter of a veteran, as the daughter of a teacher and as a wife and as a mom and an as an American and a patriot.

[00:31:32]

And I and sometimes I hate that one party has hijacked the word patriot because it actually belongs to everybody. Anybody who loves his country is a patriot. And that's who I was on Monday night.

[00:31:44]

Some people would argue that you are the perfect face to kick off the DNC with because Joe Biden hasn't been his strongest with Latino voters. I think it was Julian Castro who said that Joe Biden and the Democratic Party have to do a better job of reaching out to Latino voters and showing them that they have their best interests at heart. Where do you think the Democratic Party could do a better job of reaching out to the Latino community at large?

[00:32:11]

While if people assume Latinos are a monolithic group and and we're not we're very faction, just generational generationally. And I think that there's an assumption that we vote democratically and and both parties shouldn't take the Latino vote for granted. I think that both parties need to do a better job at really understanding Latino issues or American issues. The number one issue Latinos care about is the economy. Number one issue, Americans care about the economy. People make the assumption we only care about immigration or we only care about citizenship.

[00:32:49]

And that's part of it. And that's definitely an important issue. But but it's we share the same values as all Americans. We want to have economic mobility. We want to have the opportunity and the infrastructure of opportunity in our communities to move ahead and have progress, generational progress and our families.

[00:33:10]

With that in mind, I have to ask you about momentum Latino. What is it all about?

[00:33:14]

Yes, momentum Latino is it translates to the Latin moment, but it is a coalition of activists and leaders and business people. And it's about lifting up our voices within the Latino community right now because we are one of the most affected communities due to covid. And again, covid didn't cause these problems, but they've exasperated a lot. And so despite being 18 percent of the population, Latinos make up 35 percent of essential workers. That's that's health care workers, farm workers, drivers, delivery people, grocery store stalkers.

[00:33:55]

We over index on essential workers. Farm workers have have kept the American food supply going, going all the time. And we didn't we didn't need a pandemic to say farm workers were essential.

[00:34:07]

They've always been farm workers have always been essential to this country and the food supply of this country.

[00:34:12]

And now they're forced to go to work without PBS, without hand sanitizer.

[00:34:17]

With very enclosed living conditions, despite all of this, we keep going to work and I think it's just important that moment Latino pushes for change and is around after this pandemic.

[00:34:31]

Eva Longoria is not just an activist. Eva Longoria is also a producer, a very successful director, somebody who has taken the reins of not just her career, but a part of the industry that she works in. One of the pieces you created that creates a lot of buzz recently has been the new ad campaign where you shot an ad from home.

[00:34:55]

I think it's a Loreal ad and it's really it's really intimate because you show your great roots and you talk about coloring and tell me how that came to be and tell me why you felt the need to share this part of your journey with people.

[00:35:08]

Yeah, well, I'm an open book. People know everything about me. But I during the pandemic, I was like, I'm going to let my grades grow. I have a full head of gray hair. I've had full head of gray hair since I was 18.

[00:35:19]

It's like, OK, thanks, Mom. And and so I was like, I'm going. I think it'd be really cool to go gray. And then about two months in, I go, Yeah, this is not cool.

[00:35:30]

It's not as as thought on. This sucks.

[00:35:36]

I'm really gray and then I'll call it and they said, would you be brave enough to color your hair on camera.

[00:35:43]

And I was like, yes, because I do box color all the time. I'm, I grew up doing box color and I was like, yeah, and I did it. And and I think there was an appreciation for the accessibility to not only my life, but this ability to look, we're all human and aging and grays exist and they exist on Eva Longoria as had as well.

[00:36:04]

It feels like you're not afraid to expose yourself to the public. And I mean, that comes with affection and scrutiny and criticism at the same time. I mean, one of the journeys I know a lot of people loved about you was was sharing your journey as as a new mom. Are you are you in the camp of people who have found this moment in time to come with the silver lining of getting to spend more time with your young child at home?

[00:36:27]

But for many parents is the age gap. It depends on where your kid's age is and that determines how you feel about being stuck in the house with them. Are you having the time of your life right now?

[00:36:36]

Getting to spend every time of my life, time of my life, because he is in that age. You're not in school and he's not a baby. So he's not like just a lump of nothing. He's like she's so active and funny and walking and he loves Mommy right now. But, you know, I had so much planned this year, I was directing two features and I was filming a new TV show.

[00:36:58]

And the fact that it all stopped like it just stopped was a welcome pause because I haven't had a break in in twenty five years. And so for me, I do approach it with the silver lining of instead of like I got to get home and Basanti I got to get home and feed him. I got it was like I get to be them, I get to put them to bed, I get to wake up. And so changing the vocabulary that you use in life is powerful.

[00:37:23]

Hopefully next time I will see you in person like I normally get to see you. But until then, please keep shouting at me through the screen and I'll just imagine I can hear your voice.

[00:37:32]

OK, good. And hear my laughter because you make me laugh. I will do. Thank you so much. Yeah. Well that's our show for tonight. But before we go, I wanted to remind you that there are a lot of groups right now out there who are working hard to protect and advance voting rights for the elections in November. One of those organizations is the Alliance for Youth Organizing, which is a national network of local youth led organizations mobilizing people to vote until tomorrow, though, stay safe out there where a mosque.

[00:37:59]

And if you're going to be there, I'll see you at that pool party and Wunan. The Daily Show with Criminal Lawyers Edition wants The Daily Show weeknights at 11:00, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central Watch full episodes and videos at The Daily Show Dotcom. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast now.