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You're listening to Comedy Central. What's up, sports fans? I'm Roy Wood, Junior. He's Michael Costa. Sports is back, which means we are back Costa. Are you apt to be talking sports again?
I can't. I can't. I can't hear you brought your own mute. Your mute. Yeah, I was saying that. I'm excited. Same here. Hockey is on his way. Bet. Baseball starting up again.
Listen, I can't wait. Those are my two favorite sports to ignore while I look at my phone. But the return that everyone's talking about, ROI, is the return of the NBA. That's right. Corona virus keep their season short right before the playoffs. But the NBA is back with a plan that's more complicated than trying to pronounce Gianni's Katoomba to pull to Jonathan Temple on to Poca, to Poe and to Po Po.
The NBA hopes to shield the rest of its season from Cauvin, 19, by keeping players and staff and find an isolation bubble. The teams will live, practice and play in Orlando without outside visitors or fans.
Players and staff from all 22 teams participating will be sequestered in a so-called bubble at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex at the Walt Disney World Resort. League officials hoping that will keep teams safe.
The league lays out in great detail everything from how the players will work, play, relax, eat as well as be monitored for Konbit 19 when play resumes.
There's going to have to be consistent surveillance, you know, on a daily basis to make sure that people who are negative for corona virus stay negative. That's right.
The NBA is going to finish their season playing inside a bubble. And Roy, I love this idea. It reminds me of sleep away camp growing up, playing games, spending all your time together, your most trusted friends, shoving a few tips up your nose while you sleep lately.
Yeah, because what I'm hearing is a bunch of mostly black dudes locked up under constant surveillance. This is basically prison with less defense. And whose idea was it to bubble up? Down in Florida, with all the cases spiking down at what was the second option, they had the season in the middle of a Trump rally.
Really? It's fine. They're in a bubble of bubble. Yeah. And if they respected the bubble, it could work. But the problem is that players are really breaking the rules.
The NBA is not playing around when it comes to the bubble boundaries for players who are staying at the Walt Disney World campus in Orlando. Sacramento Kings Forward where Shawn home says he accidentally crossed the campus line to pick up a phone delivery. Well, now he's under a mandatory 10 day quarantine. An unnamed NBA player contacted an Instagram model named Anna and invited her to the bubble. Unbelievable.
The NBA season could be at risk because selfish players want take it out. And hot hot sex. So selfish, so hot.
Just credibly hot. Roy, that breaking quarantine for outside food is just unnecessary. They've already got great food options in the bubble. Look at this delicious meal. Denver Nuggets player Troy Daniels tweeted out, It's a cornucopia of culinary delights, arugula, two bags of chips, watermelon, a roll and a giant plastic bag. A smaller thing of watermelon, right? That's at least 11 calories. Right.
The point is they haven't even started playing games and the bubble has already fallen. The forecast of this season is going to be like you having sex with an Instagram model. It's going to end prematurely.
Not so fast, right? That was in private. I told you that. But if you look at the numbers, it's actually pretty promising.
The NBA had zero positive cases in its recent round of testing. The league testing close to 350 players living on the NBA campus at Disney World. All of the tests coming back negative.
Damn, I didn't know it was working. Don't let me in the bubble NBA. I've got to get it. I'll do whatever it takes. NBA, I'll be Waterboys. I'll be to teach myself to swim underneath the basket. Out, out. The Anthony Davis is back up unibrow. Just whatever it takes. You got to let me in there. Me. You know, I don't blame you for wanting a piece of that bubble, right? Not only is it the safest place in America right now, but based on the videos players have been sending out on social media, it looks like they're having a pretty good time in there.
Chris Paul is, like everyone else, embracing the outdoor life at Disney World. This is a fish S.P. three caught Monday before practice.
Meanwhile, a Dallas Mavericks, they were doing a socially distinct dance party on their balconies.
Myners Lenor getting in on the latest challenge. Leonard chugging beer for the second week in a row. This has got to be less than a second for the shotgun.
See, NBA players are just like us. Shotgunning beers alone. He was fast, too. He made that beer disappear like a cutup up your nose at sleepaway camp. Yo cost. I'm sold. I want in on the fun in the bubble. We got to figure out a way inside.
I'm way ahead of you, Roy. I'm already turning myself into an Instagram model so I can seduce the players. All I got to do is post this pic. What do you think about that bubble? Right. I mean, a D.M. the NBA. And I've been kicked off of Instagram.
It was worth a shot. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Here's a dish, watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11:00 pm, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central, watchable episodes and videos at The Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.