Transcribe your podcast
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You're listening to Comedy Central now. After four nights of watching the Republican National Convention, I'd honestly prefer to go live in whatever alternate timeline they're in. We built our world peace in the Middle East.

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You have the ability to choose your life and determine your destiny.

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I mean, who doesn't want that? So I sat down with 19 year old RNC delegate Michael Albrecht to see what it takes to buy into this Republican dream world.

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You're a magnitude. Where are your wraparound Oakley sunglasses and the testicles hanging off the back of your truck? Are you even allowed to be a Republican and wear transparent frames?

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I know there's a lot of stereotypes, especially within the Republican Party, of what a Republican looks like. I definitely don't fit that mold. How did you get into this? Were you rebelling against Democratic parents or was there someone you, like pointed a gun at you? I don't know what's going on outside of the fray, so blink twice if you need help.

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So you blinked. Oh, my God. Are you OK? We could end the zoom, right? Like gator grass.

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Is he in the room or she or they know I'm all by myself.

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Actually, that sounds like something that a kidnapped person would say if he wasn't being coerced, then why Zinda?

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Donald Trump, are you not conflicted that you're a teen and he wants to ban ticktock?

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Well, I do like Trump, obviously. Right. Prior to the coronavirus, pandemic, economy was doing great and unemployment was down and all that good stuff. The major thing keeping him from winning an election this November would be his tweets. Levia, Trump. If you're watching this, you know, I'm a big supporter, but know I'm slightly move sometimes he's watching me.

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He likes Trump except for his tweets. That's like liking everything about Kanye but his music. So what was it that drew Michael to the Republican Party in 2017?

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The Evergreen State College had this event a day without white people.

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And so the school sponsored this event in which no white people could go to school for a day and a professor named and that he didn't want to follow by the rules because it was discrimination on the basis of race. Sorry. Sorry.

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Hold on. Hold on a moment. He got a paid day off work and said no.

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Yeah, I guess he put his values before money, unfortunately.

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But then isn't that antithetical to being a Republican?

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I think nothing is more damaging than painting a broad stroke over a group of people and saying they don't care about life in terms of like school shootings. You don't care about them like children's lives, you don't care about voter suppression, or it could just be a variety of issues. And it's way more complicated than that.

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No, of course, you care about kids lives. You just also care about gun manufacturers having to meet their quarterly earnings. Like it's a balance of two things.

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If you want to go shooting with me, you're free to. I'm a bad but a look within your rights. I never said I was anti-gun.

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I'm OK. I'm definitely not going to go shooting with this guy. And the more we talked, I realized we just have no common ground.

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I'm celebrating my one month and six day anniversary with my boyfriend. Hi, Brian.

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Oh, my God, that's awesome.

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I didn't know that you had a boyfriend that changes everything. If this guy can be gay and a Republican, maybe I could be, too. I just need to really watch the convention with an open mind.

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Did you know abortion even had a smell? OK, never mind.

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The Daily Show with Criminal Ears Edition, watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:00, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central. Watch full episodes and videos at The Daily Show Dotcom. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast now.