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You're listening to Comedy Central now. Hey, everybody, welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show. I'm Trevor Noah. Today is Friday, August twenty one twenty one, August twenty first. And here's your quarantine tip of the day. If you're still afraid to get a haircut, all you should do is tell people that you're growing your hair out as a form of protest.


Then you look OK and no one will know that you're actually just a little bitch anyway. Tonight, we're going to cover all the highlights from the final night of the Democratic National Convention, including the Biden speech that was so strong, FOX News almost forgot to do their nightly Benghazi segments. Then I'm going to be chatting to Tracee Ellis Ross about her show Blackish. So let's do this, people. Welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show. From Trivers Couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world, the daily social distancing show presents.


The Democratic National Convention on Electing America's first black president, Sprent. The final night of the Democratic National Convention gave airtime to rising Democratic politicians who hadn't yet made appearances from Andrew Yang to Tammy Duckworth to Keisha Lance Bottoms. Everyone got a chance to speak. They also made space for Michael Bloomberg, Democratic sugar daddy, and Bruce Wayne, who never became Batman.


Bloomberg used his speech to continue his years long beef with Donald Trump and then apparently started a new beef with a fly.


And some people wondered why Bloomberg didn't just swat the fly away. But in his defense, Bloomberg is probably never even seen a fly. He only knows about rich people, insects like June bugs and gold plated beetles.


But you see, my friends, this is what happens when you remove Steve Benen from the ecosphere.


He stops eating flies and they immediately get out of control.


And if you're a fan of those quarantine reunion specials, you know where the stars of our favorite old movies and TV shows get together to reminisce? Well, then you were in luck because last night the DNC brought back the cost of the Democratic primary.


I am very excited to present to you a group of people that ran in the 20 20 Democratic primary against Joe Biden. You could think of this sort of like survivor on the out interviews of all the people that got voted off the island.


You remember the steak fry when we were waiting to go on. And he pulled me aside at one point and he pointed to somebody who we both knew who was working on my campaign. And let me know that that that was somebody who'd gone through a family tragedy that that Joe somehow knew about and just thought it was important for me to know that about someone who is working with me.


The magic of Joe Biden is that everything he does becomes the new reasonable. If he comes with an ambitious plan to address climate change, all of a sudden everyone's going to follow his lead.


This is why I love Americans. Young people don't hold grudges because if this was a bunch of Africans who lost the presidential nomination, trust me on this, they'd be trying to zoom the military to start a coup.


We will storm the palace and get revenge on. Oh, on. I'm on mute. I'm on. Can you guys hear me?


I actually really hope they do this losa zom thing at the Republican convention next week because I'd love to see Trump's former rivals reminiscing about the times he humiliated them or called their wives ugly, and then they backed him anyway and then their souls died. Good times, but of course, the only part of last night that really mattered was Joe Biden's big acceptance speech. And because Donald Trump has spent months trying to portray Biden as a senile old man who can barely string a few words together, the stakes for the speech were especially high.


But Biden rose to the occasion with a great purpose as a nation to open the doors of opportunity to all Americans, to save our democracy, to be a light to the world once again. For love is more powerful than hate. Hope is more powerful than fear, and right is more powerful and dark. This is our moment. This is our mission. And this is a battle we will win and we'll do it together. I promise you, it's a great honor and humility, I accept this nomination for president of the United States of America.


I'm not going to lie. Watching Biden give the speech was nerve racking. It was like watching the quiet place, one wrong step and the whole thing is over. But honestly, he nailed it. He showed strength. He showed emotion. He made a powerful case for a more united America. And I actually think that Trump did Biden the biggest favor by making it seem like he's incompetent and senile. I mean, the bar has been set super low.


As soon as America saw Biden had his jacket on the right way around, they were ready to give him a standing ovation. Biden, speaking in complete sentences, was just the icing on the cake. And last night also reminded us how different these candidates are. I mean, you've got the presidential candidate who's casually quoting Danish philosophers and Irish poets, and then you've got the president whose morning read is the back of a cereal box. You're right, Tony.


They are great. Not as great as America, but show great.


And honestly, I also think that it helped that Biden got to give the speech to an empty room, you know, because a live audience can add pressure. People applauding can throw off your rhythm. Sometimes there's a weirdo in the audience. You know, you'll see a guy dressed as Shrek and then you'll just fixate on it. And it's hard to talk about health care when you're actually wondering why is this guy dressed like Shrek? Is Shrek a metaphor for something?


Is he at the wrong event?


Maybe there's like a Shrek sex festival in town. The point is the no crowd thing probably helped by. So that was the 20 20 Democratic National Convention. And like all conventions, they had a lot to cover, explaining various policies, nodding to various voting blocs, speaking just enough, but not too much Spanish. And of course, showing those videos where one person starts a sentence but another person finishes the sentence.


But ultimately, there was one overall theme of the week.


I know Joe. He is a profoundly decent man.


Joe Biden is a decent man, decent man, decent, decent, decent. Yes. Decent is a word that came up over and over throughout this convention, which is really only a compliment if you say it the right way.


He is decent, he's decent. And that was the main thing that the Democrats wanted to get across.


You don't have to have a president who only cares about people if they have a vote or a felony conviction.


No, you could have an actual human being who feels empathy for other human beings. And it wasn't just politicians attesting to Biden's decent ness. The convention heard from a lot of everyday people from a security guard who Biden stopped to talk to in an elevator, to a man Biden befriended when they were both lifeguards as teenagers and even a rabbi who recalled Biden showing up at a woman's memorial service because she had once donated eighteen dollars to his campaign. But the highlight was probably last night's testimonial from a 13 year old with a stutter without Joe Biden only talking to you today.


About a few months ago, I met him in New Hampshire. He told me that we were members of the same club. We said Stonner. He told me about a book of poems by Yates. He read aloud to practice. He showed me how he Marks's addresses to make them easier to say out loud. I'm just a regular kid. And then the short amount of time Joe Biden made room for concern about something that bothered me my whole life.


Man, Braiden is so lucky. He got speech lessons from Vice President Joe Biden, which actually helped him improve. Meanwhile, I made the mistake of getting speech lessons from President Obama and it took me four hours to order a pizza.


With peperoni, so the one thing this convention wanted to leave viewers with is that Joe Biden is a decent man who cares about others. And another thing that kept coming up over and over again is that Biden will take the time to talk to you on the phone whether he knows you or not.


I remember I called my grandmother and I said, Joe Biden is walking by and she goes, oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. He talked to me for the next half hour.


If you give him your cell phone number, he's going to call it.


I remember one night when I was giving one of those floor speeches and I walked out of there and I got cell phone rings and, you know, it was it was Joe Biden.


My phone rang and it was the vice president.


I told her, someone wants to talk to you. Hi, Grammy. This is Joe Biden. How often does he call you? Like, every. I don't necessarily pick up every day, but I have a lot of voicemails. Oh, I see what's happening here. Joe Biden's grandkids want him to be president just so he has less time to keep them on the phone, because God damn, Joe Biden calls a lot of people. No wonder he sometimes has a hard time remembering small details.


This guy's memorized the entire phone book.


In fact, he calls so many people. When I was watching this convention, I started to get self-conscious like, ha, why haven't I had a phone call from Joe Biden, my bad person?


Does he hate me? Am I on airplane mode? It must be airplane mode. I mean, it's probably most of the time it's airplane mode. That's why people don't call me. You know, Joe Biden spends so much of his time calling people on the phone that have made us wonder what kind of phone plan does he use? Well, it turns out this one specifically for him at T-Mobile.


We have multiple plans with unlimited calling, but what if unlimited is still too limited? Introducing the Joe Biden infinite calling plan for former vice presidents who are constantly calling everyone.


I met Joe Biden once at a campaign event and told him I was getting married the next summer. Then he actually called us on our wedding day to congratulate us for six hours.


We actually missed the ceremony, but still, it was sweet. With our Biden plan, your phone has access to our five G network and your contacts come prefilled, but the phone numbers of all seven billion people on Earth. When my son's goldfish died, Joe Biden called to advise me on how to console him. Up to that point, I had never met Joe Biden or even knew who he was. But thanks to Joe's advice, my son and I have never been closer and he has no idea that I killed his goldfish.


Sign up today and you can get a second phone line for twice the infinite calling.


Last week, Joe Biden called me out of nowhere and comfort me for about an hour about my broken leg. I didn't have any idea what he was talking about. Then the next week I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. He was comforting me from the future.


Look, it's really sweet, but sometimes I just have to go, yeah, look at him.


Hey, Joe, we're doing great.


Just like yesterday, the Biden plan for the man who can't stop won't stop calling. All right.


We have to take a quick break. But when we come back, we'll see what the convention looked like on Fox News. And later, we'll be talking to Tracee Ellis Ross.


So stick around. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. You know, there were many different ways to keep up with the Democratic convention this week on the TV networks streaming online, or if you were like me listening to it on Spanish soccer radio, Barack Obama, stop doing what? I love the NSA. And Elizabeth, what a mess of London. What I meant to say, Joe Biden said ominously on the Gore. But I also wanted to watch the DNC the way President Trump does on Fox News and based on how Trump's Fox Friends reacted to Joe Biden's speech, I suspect that he wasn't very happy last night.


Joe Biden just hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth. He had pace, rhythm, energy, emotion and delivery. It was a good speech. I'll give him that. It was very emotional, was the best he's been as far as his delivery.


And everyone was looking for him to flub up a line and he really didn't.


He delivered it well, each portraying himself as a unifier who would bring the country together. He did so very I thought very effectively, it seems to me that after tonight, Donald Trump is going to have to run against a candidate, not a caricature.


He didn't beat the expectations, Donna. Yes. After Joe Biden's speech last night, most anchors on Fox admitted that he did a good job. And that's impressive because Fox News never praises Democrats. If Obama saved a bunch of kids from a burning orphanage, that angle would be why are Democrats taking our children's right to burn? I mean, did you see Don Junior's face?


He got so sad when Laura Ingram said that Biden beat expectations.


Look at him.


That's the same look he gave that Russian lady in Trump Tower when she said she didn't have dirt on Hillary.


But don't get it twisted. Just because Fox praised Biden doesn't mean that they've suddenly turned into MSNBC. I mean, they still came with fire.


For Biden's VP, Kamala Harris, his acceptance speech was about as electric as the state of California right now. I didn't think that was very rousing.


I thought there was a lot of Democratic boilerplate. I'm not sure she came across last night as somebody who's ready to step quickly into the president's shoes. That's a blood on your hands speech. Really nasty and very personal.


I have to say, I thought it was a pedestrian speech that was the most dull, boring, uninspiring acceptance speech I've ever heard.


Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The most boring acceptance speech. I mean, sure, it wasn't training day, OK, but you guys are acting like you've never heard of Mike Pence, the most boring speech.


Do you remember Mike Pence, a speech from the RNC? Do you remember what he said? No, exactly. You know why? Because Mike Pence is the most boring thing that Mike Pence is. So he's like the human version of the soft padding that they put on the walls of music studios. When he talks, somehow the room gets more silent. I mean, I get why Fox News thinks most speeches are going to be boring. They spend all day watching a lunatic tell people to inject bleach, pose with Goya beans and pull his pants down.


Mistress a horse race. At this point, the moon landing will be too boring for Fox News. But the truth is, since Comilla got the nomination, Fox has been attacking her from every possible angle. And to get a better sense of how Fox News is trying to define Kamala Harris, we asked our very own.


Desie like to watch the network nonstop and explain it to us.


I've been watching Fox News for sixty four hours straight and I think I know everything about Kamala Harris. So Kamala Harris is a radical communist senator from California. She's going to turn the entire country into San Francisco. I hope you like Chris Cruz because he's going to be the only legal side. They want you to think Kamala Harris is mainstream. But the truth is, she's a radical socialist Vegemite. She attempted socialism university and majored in importing weapons from hospitals and make it legal for immigrants to play in the NFL.


You want to know something else about Paris? She has never once clerked from the airplane lands in this country. We stand and applaud for our JetBlue pilot. And guess what else? Kalama Harrison supports the Green New Deal. You have a car? Well, guess what? You're going to be forced to put one of those coexist stickers on. You're not fooling anybody. Alexandria. Oh, Camila Cortez. Just so angry. I mean, what the hell is she so angry about?


I hate angry when she's still not least Obama's comments. What is her skin care routine? What does she think about the media? How can we trust people? Robert Harris, she's a cop who wants to defend the police, meaning she would stop existing because she needs money to support what is happening and have to make it. So say goodbye to drink a beer at a football game and say hello to sipping a latte at a bar like. Actually, it sounds really good.


Forget I said anything. Thank you so much, Desie, for your sacrifice. All right. We have to take a quick break.


But when we come back, Dorsay Sloan drags out the votes with some help from loopholes top queens.


Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show, even in presidential election years. Americans don't vote in high numbers and no one really knows why. But what if the reason is that voting just isn't glamorous enough? Or do say Sloan spoke to some people who are trying to fix it.


As much as the conventions are a chance to win voters over, the real point is to pump up people to vote and no one knows pumps better than these queens, helping to turn out more votes in their own way.


You might have seen these fabulous ladies strutting their stuff on the latest season of drag.


But now they're here on a mission to get people to vote. OK, so first things first, we'll stop right now. Oh, absolutely not. Oh, God, no.


It's unnecessary roughness and these crazy times, the illusion is that I am to stand up Heidi Showup.


Oh, OK. I just want you to Bob.


So you're on top and I'm on top, which means this right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For free. Let loose. Now that milady's were free, it was time to move from liberation representation.


So you know that we've been hearing from a lot of real people during these conventions, but so far we haven't heard from drag queens because they didn't ask us girl.


I think I would definitely give shows at the convention. I think it's very important to be a leader within our community. And did you know that one out of five LGBTQ people in our country are not registered to vote so we can reach a lot of people? One out of five is a lot of people.


That's like we're on without Anthony. Why is that? I think that people don't think that it's important.


And one hundred million people did not vote in the last presidential election, which is why the 100 million girl, they should make a law where you can't line up to buy an iPhone unless you show your I voted sticker.




And no matter what side of the aisle you fall on, it's all going to affect you.


It is called the Circle of life, Mammo. Everything affects us all.


So we are in this together. If you want better schools, you got to vote. If you want better roads, you got to vote. If you want to make sure that our transgender brothers and sisters are going to be taken care of, you got to vote to make sure these things are happening because our rights are being taken away and we got to make sure we vote to make sure that the. And drag queens have always been political activists throughout history.


They were at Stonewall, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, helped by the HIV crisis in the 80s, and it carried on a Founding Fathers tradition of wearing wigs. So why not carry that torch into the most important election of our time?


I'm the co-chair of Drag Out the Votes. And what we're doing is we're getting all of these drag ambassadors and we're sending them out with social media content videos, PSA scripts, resources for voter registration and more. Honey, we're doing shows and we're getting people excited about voting. If you are excited about something, people will start to feel that excitement is like contagious. No coronavirus here, but it's very contagious. We can pull an all nighter that we can go to the polls, we'll have a little party, chicken wings, the whole party, go out the vote, ho out the vote.


Oh, I think that is the campaign I think people can get behind. But let's go back a bit. You said something about becoming a drag ambassador. So how does one become that? Yeah.


Why you want to be a drag queen?


Well, I mean, if you're looking I don't really have anything prepared. Well, maybe this one character I've been working on.


Oh, she gives characters. You already have that. I am hectically. Oh, they're. Look over there, perhaps my drag concept did need some work, but I was in luck. I'll get you back, honey.


If I was going to drag out the vote, I needed my very drag mothers to help me get ready for much more. Much more to give us a little fish. Yeah, there it is. There it is, Margaret.


Oh, woman, so how do I look now that's drag mama now. Now, when my face was beat for the gods, it was time to shoot my first PSA as a drag ambassador.


Hi, this is 14th Amendment here telling you to go out that vote, drag queens, no matter what. I want you to jump up to that ballot box. And why should you register to vote is the best way to use your voice vote so, so, so, so folks vote. My name is British Filter and I approve this message.


Thank you so much to say. When we come back, we'll wrap up the Democratic National Convention with Tracee Ellis Ross.


So stay tuned. Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. Earlier today, I spoke with actor, producer and activist Tracy Ellis Ross. We talked about what it was like moderating a night of the DNC and more. Tracee Ellis Ross, welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show.


I'm so happy to see you. No, let me let me compliment your vibe.


People try and download backgrounds like this onto like Zoome, and you have it in real life.


Thank you. This morning I wanted to have something special for you travelers, so I got to painting a little paint on my nails.


But I'm good, you know, I feel like you all good. You know, I feel like there are people who have found a way to to still look after themselves during this pandemic. Like there are some of us who look like there was a pandemic and there are some of us who have chosen to exist despite the pandemic. And I feel like you're one of those people like on Instagram. I'm like, wow, she still looks amazing. She still looks like she's finding, like, you know, the silver linings in life.


What are you doing that is different to the rest of us?


Nothing. Nothing. Trying to make sense of this. I do think I thrive in a pandemic. I am good with isolation. It is. Yeah. I love cooking. I have it. I don't think that mopping floors is the best use of me, but I am really good at it. You know, I don't know. There's been a lot of a lot of conditioning of the hair. I mean, I have not stopped working. I don't know about you.


I mean we know you have not stopped working, but people keep saying, I'm so bored. I'm like, can you get me an invitation to this town called Bornholm where it is? And I want to get there.


I do owe you an apology, though. I know you on the show. Yeah. We talked about your new hair care range. And I was like, well, I don't have hair, so I can't use it. And then I didn't take any from you. And then now I have more head than I ever thought I would have. And I didn't take any of your products.


And I'm going to send you a package because I see all of that gorgeous hair and pattern. Will do you well, I don't know, within your busy schedule how you have time, but I know you bathe. I hope I'm I'm just I don't I don't have any assumptions, but I hope you're still bathing.


I am bathing. OK, great bathing.


Bathing it. I will take it. I'll take all of the products to help my fro. Congratulations on yet another Emmy nomination. You're back in the mix again with black ish again. I know that you spent many years of your acting career feeling snubbed by the industry.


Do you do all that? I don't know. Maybe I'm putting words in your mouth, but it feels like there was a time when not just yourself, but many other actors and actresses who acted in like black sitcoms and black shows were often seen as people where it was like, oh yeah, that's not mainstream. But now, like, does this feel like the payback? Does this feel like does this like erase some of the bad memories from, like back in the day?


Well, I'm going to change your language because we know what titles go out. I do not feel snubbed by the industry.


OK, well played. Well, I understand what you're doing. I understand what's happening. I do not. But there was definitely a I was not seen by certain hard.


It is true. That is true. I will give you one of the best expressions that was given to my publicity when I wanted to go on The Tonight Show, when I was like the fourth year on girlfriends that had been on for four years. Oh my God, we love Tracy. Call us when she gets something. And I was like, like, give me some clues. What kind of something we're talking about? Because I lead on a show that had been on the air, was going to work.


But tell me what I need to get because I'm going to try and get there. But so yeah, I feel like four time Emmy nominee. I do trust the things. I have a Golden Globe. It's all working out just fine. I did not actually have complete faith then. I just knew that I have the like, you know, when you're an actor, you grow up dreaming. Right, right, right, right. Well, the Emmys, the Oscars.


So it's really fun to be there and be here now. I mean, I have to tell you, they're Trever as excited as I am to be nominated for an Emmy. And as much as I genuinely hope I win, most important to me is that people vote and fill out their census. I if that is if that is the silver lining to this, if people get out and vote, I will feel like I have won.


So so let me ask you this. So if if somebody said to you if a fairy came and said you will not win the Emmy, but then Joe Biden will win the presidency, would you what would you say?


I would take not winning.


OK, I like that you there was a moment, not a long pause to impose it.


There is a really quick kind of like Trevor, this is. Obviously, I know the answer to that question, because you were at the DNC, you were one of the people who hosted one of the nights. And I mean, it's been a weird convention. Nobody thought it was going to be like this. Nobody even knew what a convention could be. Some have liked it more. I personally enjoy it more. You got to see more people speaking.


You got to see diversity not just in like the people on camera, but the place. Yeah, yeah. It was cool.


Why did you say yes to hosting at the DNC? And what did you feel your responsibility was to be a part of this event?


I'll start with the second. I felt my responsibility was to facilitate a conversation around engagement and participation and to actually be I mean, you know, because you've hosted my I do a lot of hosting and I feel like the job is it's like the host of a party. You are the the touch point for the audience. And I'm there to say, here's where we're going. I've got you. We're good. The beauty of it also when you are in that position is you get a moment to speak up and to use your own voice.


I took I took the leap. I felt like it was it is and was a natural progression of the way I use my voice. I'm very civically engaged and socially active. I am not so, so versed in the political realm. But it reminds me of exactly what I've come to understand of how personal politics is. And so it felt like it didn't feel like such a stretch. And the truth is, it felt like a moment and a way that I could continue to show up for the greater good and what we are in right now, which is a very unprecedented time.


And I do believe that all elections are urgent, particularly for those that are marginalized and those that are the most vulnerable and experiencing the oppression of the systems of this country. But this election is particularly urgent. And I think that that was really expressed beautifully through Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Comilla at the DNC. And I agree with you, by the way. I thought it was particularly personal, like the roll call, seeing everybody else environment.


It was so beautiful to me. I got very emotional.


Many moments before I let you go, let's talk a little bit about the movie. You you you recently made a movie which was meant to come out in theaters and then coronavirus happened.


And then we all got the movie at home, a movie called The High Note, where it was really interesting because you played a superstar pop star right in the world.


What I found most interesting, though, was you singing, I don't know if I've just missed this, but I didn't I didn't I didn't know that you sing. I mean, you recorded a single what? Like, is this a talent you've hidden from us purposefully or was this like a new thing you discovered?


It was something I've always wanted to do, but I was terrified. I have continued to do it. I haven't hidden it for myself. I don't know if it's unconscious or conscious that it kind of moved to the back burner. Why are you terrified? Say, Well, my mother is Diana Ross. Oh, I worried Trevor. I worried about the possible comparison. And it became this giant smoke and mirrors monster of like, I can't do it.


It's so scary. And, you know, the longer you wait, the older you get, things become. But it was really worth walking through the fear. And towards that dream, I got to record five songs, my first single, which I just love saying my first single called Love Myself, ended up on the adult contemporary charts and I made it to number fourteen. What are you talking about? Are you kidding me? No, it's ridiculous.


It's so I mean, I love it. I'm like, do we add that to my bio? Can we add that every time I meet someone like, you know, that I was on the adult contemporary charts and I'm a singer, so.


But then tell me what that was like on a personal level, because I understand that, like coming from a world where Diana Ross is your mother was one of the greatest authors of all time. You are singing. You come from a household where music is life, but now you're singing. And it was terrifying. Was it liberating on the other side of it?


Yeah, I actually feel like when I watch the movie back, I was like, that is what pure freedom and joy looks like, unbridled for me. And once I made it through the scary part of it, it was actually really fun. And I felt oddly at home for something I'd never done before. I'm very comfortable on a stage to the live. Singing we had to do for the movie on stage was exciting, but I've never really sung live on stage.


The recording, it was it all felt new, but I took to it very quickly, I guess, in my DNA and I'd love to keep doing it. I don't know. It was really cool.


Tracy Ellis Ross, thank you so much for joining me on the show. It's so good to see you. Look after yourself. Thank you so much, Tracy.


Well, that's our show for tonight. But before we go, one of my favorite things about American politics is all of the polls, so many polls. This country has a poll for everything.


Who's winning among likely voters in swing states? Which policies appeal to suburban millennials, which Hogwarts House Donald Trump would be in? Obviously, the one with a 16 year old girls are getting changed, that one.


So we the show thoughts. You know what? Why don't we do some polls? That's why we did The Daily Show teamed up with the professional polling firm YouGov. And yesterday we released our very first poll. Who do Americans want as their next celebrity president? Yeah, because Donald Trump can't do it forever, hopefully. And we can't go back to just an ordinary politician. I mean, that would be so boring. So we came up with a list of two hundred and fifty seven politically active celebrities and then YouGov tested them with a representative sample of Americans.


And your top five choices for next celebrity president are Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Tom Hanks, Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne The Rock Johnson. That's right. America is so freaked out that the only white celebrity people they will even consider from now on it is Tom Hanks, which I get. I mean, the guy was able to make friends with the volleyball smeared with blood. So he should be able to work with Mitch McConnell right now. Surprisingly, the woman who did best in our poll was Judge Judy.


And I agree that she'd make a great president because she'd resolve any conflict like this. Syria. Do you have your insurance bill? OK, let me see it. Shut up, Turkey. Shut up. Shut up. I'm not talking to you. Shut up. Anyway, you can check out all the results and learn how we conducted the poll at YouGov dot com slash The Daily Show. But for real, Faraldo don't elect a celebrity again. The Daily Show with criminal ears addition, watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:00, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central.


Watch full episodes and videos at The Daily Show Dotcom. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast now.