Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

You got to your die hard batteries of the MVP, of reliability, the durability player of the year, year after year, they are in the starting power hall of Fame. And the best part now, you can get them in advance auto parts, yet die hard batteries are now at advanced auto parts and you can score free testing and free installation with perjures of a die hard battery without an appointment, put a winner under your hood, adventure auto, advance auto parts and participate in Carquest locations.

[00:00:31]

Most vehicles, most locations.

[00:00:33]

This is the down labor part. Sure, we've still got Sparkasse. The country is about to be introduced to Miami's Bam Adebayo It's going to be really interesting if Milwaukee loses to Miami in the next round, that will be the reason. The reason is because Bam Adebayo bother's Yanase the way that Kawhi Leonard bothered Yoni's when their season ended last year. And one of the many reasons to find all that interesting is because Miami is not just playing to take the Greek freak's soul.

[00:01:10]

They're playing the series to take the Greek freak, all of him to take him just to make him a player in Miami. A whole lot of people are going to go after him. Obviously, Golden State is interested to. But that series is going to be interesting to watch for that reason. We'll get back to that in a second. It's a Greg Cotey Tuesday. And so it should be as silly as possible, we've got the animal doctor on with us in the 11:00 o'clock hour and also Fernando Tatis is going to join us in the 11 o'clock hour.

[00:01:42]

But a tweeter writes in, I love the show. I have been a fan since about 2010. Can you please let callers do limited impressions of Scarface?

[00:01:54]

Hmm. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven for the face of ESPN, I'm not going to have a bunch of white people calling this show to do a cheesy Latin voice. What a terrible idea. Why don't you run that seven, eight, six, four, five, six, seven telephone number. Wait a minute. Scarface didn't have any Latin people in it. I was in Scarface, Pacino, Al Pacino.

[00:02:18]

That's the role of his lifetime was not being that you're complicit.

[00:02:22]

The numbers were given out already. Mike, I don't know if you can answer seven, eight, six, four, five, six for a three.

[00:02:29]

Terrible idea why he jumps on limited fake Scarface is awful. 74 I saw yesterday. I made the mistake of seeing the movie taxpayer. The taxpayer was Qalibaf. And I think Qalibaf was supposed to be Mexican in it.

[00:02:43]

I'm not totally sure I had someone check that for me, please. I'd like to know because he was going for a Mexican. Look, I don't know if they were actually trying to make him Mexican.

[00:02:55]

I mean, he had Omar played by F. Murray Abraham. You had Hector the Toad played by al Israel.

[00:03:03]

Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four eight three seven. Today's the day, Mike. Today is the day to celebrate the Cuban story, not the day you saw speeches during the convention here that Dana White's going to be a part of that. Herschel Walker was a part of the American story told through the accent of an immigrant or an exile, a Cuban. We saw that last night. How about just like in Scarface, we have al Israel tried to be a Latin guy on film seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven is the telephone number.

[00:03:35]

If you don't want to, you could just play another song from from Pacers Heat or whatever it is that you have back there. If you just want to litter the place with filibusters and songs, since you don't want to take calls as limited fake scar faces.

[00:03:49]

I mean, I'm just the man you want the songs or you want the fakes. I want both of them. Right. And I thought you were fighting me. I'm not allowed to do it. But you're making me do it. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven. We all have to embrace this. We broadcast this show a couple of blocks from the CBS that is now where it once was that the Scarface scene was filmed with the buzz saw in the shower were a couple of blocks away.

[00:04:15]

It is now a pharmacy to take care of America's opioid addiction.

[00:04:19]

It's a chain saw, the fine chain saw, buzz saw.

[00:04:23]

Do you know the difference now? I just I just know most people call it a chain saw. I know the difference. Buzz saw you used to cut wood and granted, you can do that with a chainsaw, but it's usually a flat surface and you run something through it and chain saws your handheld device. I don't have any fake scar faces, though. I do have a fake Sean Connery on the line.

[00:04:41]

All right. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six four eight three seven. Fake Sean Connery's are always welcome. Happy 90th birthday today to Sean Connery. Let's bring up the fake Sean Connery. Yeah, that's ninety years old. Greg Cody. That's right.

[00:04:56]

A little bit hard. No, no. I thought you were going to get my 90th birthday today. Oh, they're good.

[00:05:04]

Sean Connery in there. I mean, I love that. I love. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What I love. What I love. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven. What I loved is at the end of that, his impersonation failed. He knows that it failed. And at the very end, Sean Connery was falling into a well and he stayed in character, committed to the bit and just said hello from the bottom of the well of a drowning impersonation.

[00:05:32]

He stayed in character until the very end. We salute you, sir, for dying with your impersonation. Because he did. You stayed with you did. He just yelled hello as he disappeared. Seven, eight six four five six four eight three seven is the telephone number.

[00:05:49]

These are all worse than I thought.

[00:05:51]

OK, we'll keep going to them blindly here. Excellent work by you, Mike. Get those Pacer songs ready. We'll play those at some point before the Animal Doctor and Fernando Tatis join us in the eleven o'clock hour. But Alabama, now that students have come to campus, more than 560 positive tests and the symbolisms to got is so rich when it comes to the bare naked greed involved around sports right now. I can't believe that we're in a position where Alabama is actually going to have to physically keep its players from class in order to keep them healthy, like they're going like they're we're going to dispense the bare naked greed around.

[00:06:34]

All of this has been amazing to watch. But furthermore, the idea that you're going to actually have Alabama football players are not allowed to go to class because it's safer for them to collide unpaid than it is to just go get an education because the entire campus is in fact, it's like some of these schools.

[00:06:52]

Caroline is another one, I think, where they're. Talking about creating their own athletic bubble within the university where only they can be and only they can hang out and they don't go to the classics, so we're just peeling back the curtain in a way we never had before. I think people always knew this is kind of the way it was. And now we're just showing you, hey, this is the way it is.

[00:07:12]

What's great about the peeling back of the curtain is when you pull it back, there's someone with a chainsaw or a buzzsaw in there, cutting up someone else because a drug deal has gone wrong. A couple of blocks away from where we are filming this nearest CBS now, limited fake Scarface. You're on ESPN Radio? No. But the pelicans. The pelicans. OK, good. I think we can get away. Mike, I think we're the one show in America that can get away with this is a sports radio show because we're so heavily Latin, we can also make fun of Americans doing Latin accent, mix it up and try to get away with good radio.

[00:07:47]

Seven, eight, six, four or five, six, four, eight, three, seven. Any Pacer songs back there? Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four, eight, three, seven. Limited fake Scarface. You're on ESPN Radio. I'm as green as they come from Omaha, Nebraska, so say hello to my little friend. You people need people like me. Say hello to the bad guy.

[00:08:10]

We're done with that. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six four eight three seven. Look at that. A thumbs up from the white allai. Greg Cody has put a thumbs up in the chant. He is here for this specific kind of racism. Limited fake Scarface. You're on ESPN Radio. We don't have another limited fake Scarface ones on screen.

[00:08:29]

Go, oh, no Scarface.

[00:08:31]

Save the segment.

[00:08:32]

Save it if you know what a harmless one I like.

[00:08:38]

Right. We're back. Hold that thought. Let's sell some.

[00:08:44]

Let's just call it a day in the don't fall to fly straight instead of a picnic. Don't fly straight. I hate this idea.

[00:08:54]

The seven eight six four five six four eight three seven. It's better on screen.

[00:08:58]

No. Yeah OK. I will ask the audience this question because we never know who is a new Arriva, do you know who that song is about, yes or no? Because there is no mention in that song of who it is about. And so if you're a longtime listener of the show, you've heard that song enough to know who it's about. But I'm just curious. I know I explain the jokes too much. I'm just curious. I want to do some testing on this at Libertador Show to see how long some people have been with.

[00:09:32]

Are you going to count up the votes? I'm going to go home and put them all in front of a big elaborate screen. And I'm going to do focus groups on it. And so the telephone number here, if you want to get in on the show, is seven eight six four five six four eight three without giving it out.

[00:09:49]

OK, well, here's the thing.

[00:09:50]

All right. So now let's just show everybody what's happening here, because Mike Ryan is deeply uncomfortable. He just spit at me.

[00:09:56]

I can't wait for the Hébert results later. Oh, sorry. Yes, yes.

[00:10:00]

Spoiler alert. So Mike Ryan has been just not liking any part of this idea of going to limited fake Scarface. So he has told me we now have three calls on the line. His enthusiasm for each of these calls has been very tepid. He is not selling these calls. But before we get to Greg Cody's back in my day, I would like to hear from limited fake Scarface, please. Go ahead, limited fake Scarface. Do you know something that I'm getting real ticked off with all these advertisers?

[00:10:35]

My. Yeah, OK, so my crime was right on that one and let's see if he's right on this one. Limited fake Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio.

[00:10:46]

I'll take an album cover for a thousand dollars, OK?

[00:10:50]

And he was right about that one, too. But there's a buildup here, and I believe there will be a payoff.

[00:10:55]

And I believe that that payoff is Steve Spurrier after watching Scarface first get the money and he gets to take more of those calls, the old ball. Other celebrities, after they had just been watching stars needed the first through to be bet on the audience, I bet on the audience being terrible at calls. Yes. Time now for Greg Coatis back in my day.

[00:11:36]

And now it is time to take a trip down memory lane.

[00:11:41]

Here's your guy, Greg Cody, with Back in my day meal kit delivery services. There's a slew of them out there. It's a fairly recent phenomenon. And the way we consume food, the meal kit materializes on your doorstep consisting of ingredients to cook a meal, primarily a protein such as meat, fish or poultry, vegetables, sauce and spices. It's just another step on the gradually declining road to hermetically sealed lives in which we go out for nothing because everything comes to us.

[00:12:17]

Amazon will devour and take over the entire meal kit industry in a minute, as soon as it gets the urge. So a cardboard box appears on our doorstep, the consumer unpacks it cooks the meal according to the instructions provided, and gets to enjoy not only the dinner, but the illusion he or she suddenly is a Michelin star. Chef was actually created something magical. It's akin to the feeling you must get by making a blank canvas bloom with a paint by numbers kit.

[00:12:43]

It's dumbed down.

[00:12:44]

Accomplish all this creativity. We try one of these meal kit services for several months a while back, mainly because my wife suffers from P.D.A.

[00:12:53]

Having packages delivered addiction from the prime truck stop out the front of our house steps her attic.

[00:13:00]

The meals kit genre has stagnated, but oddly seen a boost during the coronavirus pandemic. I say oddly, because it's as if people don't realize they can a shop or have groceries delivered and create their own meals cheaper and using ingredients they actually like or b have made made meals from their favorite restaurant and not have to cook at all. Meal kits are this weird in-between.

[00:13:24]

You get something you wouldn't choose in a restaurant with really small portions and you still have to do all the work. It doesn't make sense. The portions are made for your health and waistline. In other words, food. I don't want to eat and not enough of it. Sorry, but Greatcoat needs more than a four round steak. Thank you. And during this trial run with meal kit delivery, I was forced for a lifetime supply of quinoa, ancient grains like Pharaoh and a dozen shades of kale people.

[00:13:51]

It's time we rose up and reclaimed our own kitchens and the joy of actual cooking, not following simpleton directions. And if I'm going to do my own cooking, I might choose a full size steak with sizzling shrooms on the side. Oh, and hold the pharaoh. I'll have fries. Take back dinner. I'm Greg Codi.

[00:14:12]

Spoken like a real cook knob.

[00:14:16]

You are a snob about your cooking. Yes, I am. Fernando Tatis will join us in about a half hour. The animal doctor, Ron Magill, eleven thirty eastern. But I'm sorry, Christine, we interrupted you.

[00:14:36]

And finally, Krispy Kreme is set to open a flagship store in New York City that will reportedly house the world's largest waterfall, just outranking the one Dan had installed in his bedroom. Damn you, Christine.

[00:14:49]

Yes. Damn you. Who who who put those words in her mouth? She told us she would never say that on her own. Never. She is too kind a woman. OK. Get out of here. Christine, I'm furious. Bye. All right.

[00:15:08]

So Mike has no confidence we should talk about the NBA playoffs at some point. But I got a bunch of Sean Connery's and Scarface is on the line. Mike has no confidence in any of these calls. We will continue to go to them. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six four eight three seven. At some point, I suppose to will tell us whether LeBron did that thing last night or not. He did do the thing.

[00:15:29]

He did the thing last night. The thing was done. I love what he does. The thing when he just reminds you, like the runs over, moving at night, making a charge to the NBA, you thought you had a chance. You did it. I'm LeBron James. I'm the best player in the world. We are the best team in the world. And he reminds you every now and then just how good he is.

[00:15:51]

You get your ass, we'll get your full thoughts on it year because I gave them to you so we can get to the court.

[00:15:55]

All right. Well, but we were trying to get to the calls before the full thoughts, but every once in a while, you forget the show we're doing and you decide to give your takes. The inside of the gift takes again. I mean, there's NBA playoffs going on and they're for real now.

[00:16:07]

And except that when they started, you said that you weren't interested in anything other than keeping an eye on the bubble.

[00:16:13]

I've kept my eye in the bubble and what I needed last night and I finally got it was a Heat Pacer game that was played in the 90s. All right. And that reminded me that they still care about defense. There's still effort being given out on the defensive side of the basketball. I need the game to be played in the 90s for me to realize these players are actually trying to play defense.

[00:16:35]

Limited fake Scarface. You're on ESPN Radio.

[00:16:42]

Go ahead, limited fake Scarface. Botched it. OK, I'm sorry, limited fake Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio, go ahead.

[00:16:55]

Congratulations, Chaker. You are still a girl.

[00:16:59]

Thank you. Limited fake Sean Connery. Mike Ryan was right on that one as well. So two bad calls. A bad decision by me. Again, it cannot be disputed. I would not dispute it, but can it be rescued with limited fake Sean Connery watching Scarface pull a green card and a job?

[00:17:19]

The Miami story, some up real nice at the end. It was a good conceit, not well executed. We will start all over again. Clear the slate. Seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four eight three seven. We go back to Stewart's on whether or not LeBron James did the thing last night. He did the thing. Listen, I've kept an eye on the bubble because I am confused, like a lot of people, as to whether or not you are truly watching NBA playoff basketball.

[00:17:49]

I think we all know you take the crowd out of it. You take, you know, home court advantage out of it. They're playing on the same court with different logos every single night.

[00:17:58]

Oh, he did LeBron do the thing that LeBron do the thing over and done?

[00:18:03]

Well, yeah, he always does the thing. Yeah. OK. All right. Wow. But Dan, when I was keeping my because I felt like for a minute there, what we were watching, what we were privy to were exhibition games where no one was playing defense. It was almost like whoever hits the last three is going to be the winner of that game. What I needed was a defensive struggle. And what I got yesterday was a defensive struggle between the heat and pace.

[00:18:31]

Mike Ryan just whispered in my ear something so accurate. And Cody, this is directed your way because you're probably on the Internet just searching compliments for your back in my day. Mike Ryan, Mike Ryan just said in my ear just said, is that a record breaking performance from Cody in terms of checking out right after his back in my day because I just threw it to you and you gave me nothing, nothing comedically because you're in there. I could see you reading the compliments on your back in my day.

[00:19:01]

You can't be bothered to do the radio show because you're too busy reading all the praise you're getting for your back in my day. A record check out by you. Yeah.

[00:19:11]

If only any of that were accurate. I wasn't reading anything. Honestly, what you came to me with, I was taken aback. I really didn't. I don't even know what LeBron thing is. What is it? The LeBron face? I'm not sure. Greg, look, I'm neutral. You sounded bored.

[00:19:26]

The thing. My gosh, just explain to me what it was. Were you not listening to him? He just explained that the thing the LeBron does is remind everyone that he's the best player in basketball. That's the thing. You didn't know what the thing was. He I my answer was accurate.

[00:19:42]

Then I lucked into a terrific answer. I said, yes, he does it every night and that's absolutely spot on. Not only that, I answer that correctly, but I did it succinctly, say, I don't believe in wasting words. If I can say something in three or four words, I won't do it. I don't have to. Pontificating filibuster. I'm going to say it succinctly. You're welcome.

[00:20:03]

Oh, wow. Wow. That's what we need. That's all we needed. When I asked the question that you decided to do the show at the end, you were bored. When I ask you the question for me in the reruns, that's it. You're forced to to just go to the notes. It's not really the playoffs that you boards to Godse into. Not only were you not doing the show correctly, you knocked out two guards with total indifference.

[00:20:26]

I'm doing the show.

[00:20:28]

Wow. That was a bad segment for me. I'm going to take your spot. So, Greg. Well, I will take responsibility. I went out of order. Did not want the take there. It's on me. All of it. You know, that's a new thing. I'm going to start do it. If I do it on the front end, he can't really get mad at me in the back end. I'm just going to own my mistakes.

[00:20:49]

I know a good or bad thing, Mikey. Good with that. I might think of the commercial. I wish that the people listening to this could see the face of Greg Cody in the Zoome during that, because even though every word mocks him, the radiant delight that sweeps over his face because someone somewhere is singing about him, that he doesn't even care if it's about his perpetual, unrelenting incompetence as long as someone is singing about him. Greg, you enjoyed that song.

[00:21:28]

I've never seen you enjoy anything as much as you pumped your fist at the end of that song. Yeah, I did enjoy that.

[00:21:36]

I've developed a knack over the years of listening to criticism and hearing it as adulation. It's a wonderful thing to master because you go through life smiling all the time. You know, criticism, arrows slung at me bounce off me. It's just great. I thought it was a great song and quite frankly, I don't know that I've ever heard that one before. So it took me a minute to realize, wow, this guy's singing about me. And then I started listening with teenagers.

[00:22:01]

It was wonderful.

[00:22:02]

When you arrive at that place, you've really arrived at peace, your peace with yourself. It's a peaceful place. It's a great place to land.

[00:22:12]

It really is right now. Yes. Yes. He just he's got it mastered even better than you in that all he does is just read Tweed's compliment. Somehow he's filtered it such that none of the criticism ever arrives at his doorstep. He never even sees it.

[00:22:27]

Right. Well, when somebody when you or anybody else just blast me and belittles me, I'm and I'm inclined to say thank you. I appreciate it, you know, because, again, to me, I hear it as it's like magic, really. I have magic ears. I hear criticism as compliments. Try it sometime.

[00:22:43]

My can you do me the favor of just finding another song that we could play at Cody's expense at any point here? I will take some calls in the interim. Seven, eight six four five six four eight three seven is the telephone number. Fernando Tatis is going to join us at eleven o'clock Eastern. And the animal doctor, Ron McGill, eleven thirty. He's going to join us. But first, we've got limited fake Scarface. You're on ESPN Radio.

[00:23:08]

Go ahead. It's a Cadillac, very limited, extraordinarily limited impersonation, Gollum from Lord of the Rings watching Scarface know.

[00:23:25]

Oh, wow.

[00:23:27]

Oh, God. Charmed, nicely done. And now limited fake Christopher Walken watching Scarface. Go ahead. You're on ESPN Radio. You want to play rock? OK, say hello to my little friend.

[00:23:44]

I was a terrible wakan and I thought it was easy for the impersonators in our audience to watch seven, eight, six, four, five, six, four eight three seven is the telephone number if you want to get in here. But we've got Greg Codi of the Miami Herald on a Tuesday. He's lending his journalistic pedigree to the proceedings. The Miami Dolphins are just a couple of weeks from starting. I don't understand how that's possible. And 20 percent of their stadium will be full, 20 percent.

[00:24:12]

How did this happen, Greg Cody, and why were you raising a fist against it in today's Miami Herald football in the middle of a pandemic with fans?

[00:24:21]

Doesn't sound like a very good idea for me, but the weird thing is, underneath all of this, the dolphins are going to be much better this year, much, much better, particularly on defense. After setting a franchise record, giving up the most points ever last season. I think they're going to be a fun team to watch. And the anticipation of when to finally gets the ball is going to be something Dolphin fans haven't really felt for a long time.

[00:24:45]

That's interesting, because I was just going to you for the morality of putting fans in a stadium during a pandemic and the fact that the Dolphins are going to be at 13000 people in the stands. That's what I was going to for. And you're like bleep that football baby to us starting in two weeks. And it doesn't matter if everyone in the stands is dying.

[00:25:06]

Well, I wrote a whole column blasting Miami Dade for deciding to allow fans. And so, you know, I can I can elaborate on that all day long. It's a terrible idea. It's dangerous. Other sports aren't doing it. Most other NFL teams aren't doing it. And not only is Miami-Dade doing it, but Miami Dade has had more coronavirus deaths than any county except eight others. Of the thousands of counties, Miami has the ninth most deaths.

[00:25:32]

So and again, we're just starting to see a downward trend in the curve. And things like this aren't going to make it any better. You know, 20 percent of capacity sounds great and they're going to be taking all kind of precautions. But thirteen thousand fans is a lot of people in one venue. Donna Shalala and others who are independent voices have said it's a risk and it is. And I'm surprised they made that decision. Right.

[00:25:59]

I don't disagree. But one is the right time to start doing it. Well, he's 92, I'm calling on ESPN Radio.