This is the down labor part, sure, with this still got Sparkasse. Seriously, it's 10 a.m. on Monday morning at seven a.m. on the West Coast, who put it on the podium at 11:00 today? Yeah. Does anyone listen to metal at 7:00 a.m.? I want to get into what is an incredible national sports controversy that is not about Justin Turner, but it has been inflamed by those heathens, Tim Kurkjian, those noted rabble rousers, rabble rabble rousers and troublemakers.

Tongue twister. Scott Van Pelt, thank you for your help, as always. To God's got it. Scott Van Pelt and Tim Kurkjian. Tim Kurkjian said, and I don't have the sound to this readily available, but Tim Kurkjian said something to the equivalent of some show.

Actually had the audacity to ask me recently whether or not Ozzie Smith could play Hall of Famer. Ozzie Smith could play in today's game. And then Scott Van Pelt did these two Godse where he's like, with all due respect, you should not go on or you should not listen to whatever that show is instead of me paraphrasing. Let's get it from the two, as I call them, rabble rabble rouser.

The analytics have robbed some of the art from the game. Now we are a home run walk strikeout game virtually every night. Scott, here's how bad it is now. I got asked on a radio show the other day if Ozzie Smith could play in the major leagues today. Ozzie Smith, he's the greatest defensive shortstop of all time. And given the importance of that position, he might be the greatest defensive player of all time. But since he doesn't hit homers, he hits ground balls, he steals bases and he doesn't strike out.

People are looking at him saying, well, what value would he have today? He could play for anyone today. But for someone to actually ask me if Ozzie Smith could play today, that's a dangerous situation to be in or you can't go on that show again. Tim, with all due respect to whoever asked that question, because that's preposterous.

All due respect to everyone involved, I mean, there's a lot here. He totally misrepresented what happened. We ask if he was a Hall of fame or not, if he could play in the Major League Baseball. And this is, you know, classics to God's analytic guy. He's just one of those analytics guys who takes the numbers way too seriously and is projected out as Hizzy Smith, a Hall of Famer based on the numbers is stepdads. I mean, we know him.

He's a stat head. With all due respect, we did kind of pepper him on whether or not Ozzie Smith could exist in today's game. We did. We really did. Well, well, that's another thing. He's treating us like we're his mistress over here. He won't say our name. He won't address the show. Is that how long has he been coming on this show? And he's just saying some other show, Scott. Oh, because Scott, obviously the king of the castle up here.

Right. And we're apparently just some peasant that Tim just comes on. Is he just trying to build his brand? What is Tim doing coming on here and not mentioning our names? All right.

A couple of different things here. First of all, we are his mistress, Tim Kurkjian, was giggling with Scott Van Pelt far longer and before he was giggling with us here on the air, even though he is giggled for a long time with us. And I do believe you're misrepresenting our role in this entirely, because you may have originally asked whether Ozzie Smith was a Hall of Famer or not, but because gods exist to simply take whatever is someone else's take and take it as far out as it could go, then became could Ozzie Smith play in today's game?

And I exacerbated matters by agreeing with Stewart that a boy.

Now I know this is dangerous territory, but if Scott Van Pelt was making Tim giggle enough, he wouldn't be looking around for straight giggles with us, you know what I mean?

Fair enough. Fair point. The Tim Kurkjian, I think we could say this about him. A bit of a whore. I feel like we can say that. Oh, that's too much attack on Gourgeon.

I don't feel you can say that.

I'm OK then I won't say it. That's not something that I would ever say. It's something I would just think. But it's not something that would ever come out of my mouth, but certainly a serial giggler in various different places that isn't exclusive to us. However, it is that you would describe that. So whatever is the word there, you guys must be better words than I am and certainly careful words. You're better at those I was going to do and I cleaned it up.

We're going to pretend you didn't say it. We're going to pretend that we didn't hear it. OK, yeah.

Here's a bit more shocking than prostitute. OK, so I didn't clean it up. How your brain don't why don't I go the other way? I'm careful. I go to the unsellable.

But what else? More efficient. Yeah, but what else do you call someone who is paid by others for pleasure and goes to multiple places to dispense that pleasure?

Stuart. Yep, a trollop Strogoff. Isn't a whore? No, he's a whore. Oh, you're OK there. Oh, jeez. Yeah. All right. So there I'm OK. I mean, if you didn't call me one, but I was like, you know, you're a whore.

Yeah, OK. That's a remarkable amount of self-awareness from these two guys to sort of shrugging their shoulders and being like, yeah, that's what I am. You don't even need to clean it up with prostitute or anything else. Keep going. You've got something more dangerous and worse than that. Keep going. I'll tell you when it's gone too far.

And that'll be never the Justin Turner thing becomes more and more interesting. And baseball has to be super grateful, super grateful, super lucky that this is not going on in what remains of their season. They have to be happy that this is something that basically Justin Turner said up season's over bleep.

The protocols took the last out as seasons over in my workplaces, in my workplace, I don't need to apply any of the rules of my workplace anymore. Season's over, right.

I'm still confused on so many things.

How he was allowed to play before the test came back, if I may, because Mike Ryan just did with David Sampson, got some details that I had not heard before where Major League Baseball knew in the second inning. David Sampson, the former Marlins team president, is very plugged in on baseball information that baseball knew in the second inning. And then this is something that baseball has to always go through because the union is very strong. Then they had to go through the bureaucracy of checking with the players union on what it is they were supposed to do because no one had dealt with in game.

What do we do now? Keep in mind basketball. As soon as they found out Rudy Gobert was positive, the whole sport shut down. Baseball kept going because baseball was going to get to this muñiz who got. And so the question becomes what was happening. Baseball says it's investigating this. We'll see what becomes of that investigation. But what was happening in those six innings that allows us to dispense blame all over the place because Justin Turner shouldn't have been out there with a game that was resuming if they knew in the second innings to got NBA shut down when they found out about a positive test, people in Utah were sent home.

There was a crowd there that was there waiting for the start of that game and they were sent home. The way I understand it, the first test was not conclusive. The second one was and it took them to the eighth inning or seventh inning to get the results of that of that second test, not the case, according to baseball insider David Tamzin. Nothing personal now, understandably so. You need to track people down. You need to alert Friedman.

You need to alert the commissioner. You need to alert the players union. This is the World Series. They're all in the same building. Why is it taking several innings when someone baseball moves too fast? Everyone knows that you can just go to where Friedman is sitting, right. Everyone's falling for the obvious deflection, which is just in turn because that's what we know. Justin Turner's on the field. How could this be massless next to Dave Roberts, cancer survivor in the team photo?

What's happening during the game? Because Major League Baseball caught a lot of flack for what happened with Marlins Phillies series where there was a a game being played after a positive test and won't be corrected. That protocol now said no games. If in advance of a game there's a positive test, why wasn't this game stopped? Because, Justin Turner, there was a latency period here where Major League Baseball, the players union all knew that Justin Turner was positive and he was still in that dugout and the game was allowed to continue luckily.

So because Major League Baseball then has a massive issue, you're not going to schedule a World Series game for Thursday and put it on FS one opposite of Thursday night football. There's a bunch of money on the line. And if it sounded like Rob Manfred was a little shell shocked and slightly relieved in that postgame interview is because he was slightly relieved because they just dodged a major bullet. And he can't even say that with certainty because we're waiting on tests.

I know people tested negative afterwards, but there's an incubation period for this virus. So this is from Myron Metcalf. We went from clearing out an entire arena and suspending the NBA season when Rudy Gobert tested positive to having folks argue you can't stop the World Series even if a player gets pulled mid game for a positive test and he had to celebrate with his team, we don't have a chance if the end of that season is not a microcosm for everything that sports is doing and trying to get to these television dollars and a microcosm for everything happening in America right now where what we're best at is basically being sick.

When we say America is number one, we're the best country in the world, the thing that we're best at is being sick. And what you can look at is that situation right there and see the seeds of sports being the reflect. They you see in the culture that surrounded. This is the story of a disgraced Olympian, a man accused of sexually abusing dozens of boys and young men for over 40 years. I remember thinking, if I scream, nobody can hear me.

And the perfect storm that brought his accusers together. I'm not the only one, you know, the only one who is no longer. I'm I'm not alone. And brought him out of the shadows. How do you get these boys to believe in you so much? Listen to ESPN investigates season two, The Running Man, wherever you listen to podcasts available now.

Don Lemon Libertador, who sounds like the friendliest of the monsters here, is it Al Jefferson?

Well, Calais is Campbell.

Yes. Yes.

Or is it Arvydas Sabonis? I never had a chance to be there. I've still got a very difficult vote. We've never had a pull harder than this one. It's the hardest poll in the history of polling this incident. Lilibeth, our show with they still got only SBM radio. We have gotten so few so few good songs about Toure, but we have a board full of calls here, even though we didn't request them today. They've been there all week just waiting for us at any point.

We want to go to the well and get it to a call. All the lines are taken and have been all week, which is unfortunate because I did want to take calls. Alec Sulkin on Twitter writes that Kershaw Kershaw's by far the best pitcher of all time, whose name sounds like a sneeze. And I was hoping to take calls on just athlete names that sounded like a sneeze, but now they're in the middle of the tour calls. So I have to go through some to a call so I can get people to just shout in a sneezing voice.

Somebodies name seven, eight, six will mix it up, will go both ways. I haven't screened them all though.

So far. I've only gotten around to fake Andrea Bocelli. Can the people on Hall deliver an athlete that sounds like a sneeze and then get to there to us? Oh, I think you're asking too much. It's two different skill sets, quite frankly, and they haven't proven they can do the first one of creating the song.

All guys study de la Vida appear via the sharp edge. All performance line Pennzoil synthetic materials are made from natural gas. It gives you unbeatable engine protection. The proof is in the Pennzoil based on sequence 4A where test using SASE five w dash thirty.

Let's clear at least one line to allow people to get in here. Seven, eight, six, four or five, six, four, three, seven by saying and a sneezing form, a name that they think sounds more like a sneeze than Kershaw. Let's go to fake Andrea Bocelli. You're on ESPN Radio.

Go ahead.

Go ahead. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. It's going to hurt.

They're coming to look a little or no v o o o o o o o t to tell you the boy.

Thank you for the effort. Fake Andrea Bocelli. It makes me long for our fake Pavarotti. We'll get some sound from the fake Pavarotti in a second. We'll see what's aged well and what hasn't aged well as my grind goes into the way backfill. But in the interim, again, athletes whose names sound more like a sneeze than Kershaw have added seven eight six four five six four eight three seven. I mean, you know, it makes its way to go.

Please don't do that without a mask on the guy around me. All right. You're a little too close. If you could just everybody I know, but you were spitting all over the place. Minshew is a lot like Kershaw. But, yes, Mintu is very good. Since you two oh, wow, wow, I thought you might have just ended it, can you do it like a sneeze, though, Roy, since your true.

Yeah, I think I think we have to end the Chu category because it's going to be too much of a winner. Minshew is going to be in the conversation at all times when the is present.

Juju Smith, Schuster. You just got to do it on the front end. All right.

Do you want to try it as a sneeze or you don't want to? This one's hard because it's got a lot of syllables.

You just sure he's wear a mask when you're doing it? No, don't do it again. You did it fine. You did it so awful there that you're not going to do better than that. I faced the other way, though. I don't know if, you know, I felt the hospital, which is why I didn't notice. I feel like it should be. I ju Smith. Schuster.

Good. You got it. There you go. Well done. Way to commit to the bid. Chris, you got a little snot. You're in there, didn't you? I appreciate the effort. As I said, Richard Lewis, our old friend Richard Lewis is going to join us here in about ten minute. He's in Ohio State Buckeye correspondent.

I don't remember that Richard Lewis is excited. He's into Ohio State. We need a correspondent. We have a tough time getting Gaster out here. So he's going to break that Ohio State for us. Very exciting. OK, why is he all right?

Since when is he our Ohio State? Cause he told us, OK, I don't remember that. But Chris is saying on the chad that he sang the alma mater song before on the show. So Richard Lewis is going to join us here in a second. Mike Ryan in the interim has to fake Pavarotti.

Thank God I screen these. Some of them don't hold up. Well, some of them are H.R. violation. All right. But let's hear the ones that do hold up.

Don't shoot. Sumi posted to Cherkin. We had a quarterdeck that day with that song, that song, yeah, that or the Bocci Joy. Hold on. I need to explain to the audience about you. I need to explain to the audience again that this was fake Pavarotti singing about Antoine Walker during the 2006 Miami Heat run and he was calling for Antoine Walker to please pass the ball to Shaq.

This whole thing to. We learned later that this guy actually does opera. He's got a great voice, haven't heard from him in a long time, can't hear from him enough. What's the second one you've got back there that actually holds up and won't get us fired? Mike Haltered in June.

Ha ha ha ha. Call me if you see Cameron's quit. Go to. Please, the that key call for. Thank God this is over. I want you to absorb how bad the two calls have been this week and what the standard has been established and just feel in your bones, allow it to marinate.

How much worse the show has gotten in general and DaMarcus.

Don Lemon tart people have told me before when I was younger that I look like George Clooney, I'm serious when I was younger. Strogatz You have a booger in your right nostril. So does cloning this incident, Elizabeth, our show with these two guys on ESPN Radio, the Dan Levitas show is brought to you by Shell v Power Nitro plus premium gasoline.

Richard Lewis, are Ohio State correspondent going to join us in just a second here on the show. Pennzoil performance lot.

We will get to him in a second. But first, because Richard Lewis comes from the height of entertainment and laughter, we introduced Christine Lacy with our beloved low production quality kazoos.

And finally, Britain is responsible for the Independence Day celebrations of 63 countries around the world. Speaking of once great empires, people are happy to get rid of.

You're listening to the Dan Scott, who you are speaking for management. Now get out of here. Richard Lewis with us.

He is getting ready for Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 11 tour calls and callers who want to give us athletes who sound like a sneeze. Just wait there for a second.

I wonder why they want to get rid of us. Yes, I don't understand why. Richard Lewis with us now. My nemesis, my nemesis.

I understand why. Oh, understand why. Oh, we like excuse me. With that garbage, you treat me like trash every year. I mean, how often I come through for you guys. Really not fair. You know how many famous people from Ohio State you do you, you know, say to the guy who invented the cotton gin. Come on.

No, we do not ever, ever talk to the guy who invented the cotton gin. We speak to Richard Lewis, who I am told and I don't remember this saying the Ohio State alma mater fight song recently. Do you still have it? You still know it. I do know.

And I have to go to my record collection. It's right between a cream album and Sgt. Pepper's, cause I sometimes I sometimes overlook it. But I've been I've been a grand marshal that twice. And the first time I got into a fight was with the mask. That was a bad day, Brutus, is that you're under your you know, it was very hot. It was it was crazily hot out. And I said, Rudisha, I was just joking with him.

I said, you know, you have body odor and he threw LSD. Threw a left. Yeah.

Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.

I'm sorry. Forgive me. I didn't know there was more to the story. I left off it like I thought the quick left jab was the end of the story. Forgive me, Richard.

You know, it should be the end of the story. But then I gave him a right hook. Then that knocked him out. I was out the game.

Now, you see, I feel like your story proved to be a lie there. At the end. I was believing you right until the end. I don't I think I would have heard about Richard Lewis knocking out Brutus mask.

No, no, no. I'm sure I made sure we were behind the tree. OK, very good. I say had they lost a tough game last week, but that doesn't matter. Even if they won last week, they would have said they would. Ohio State's going to crush them in the line that way, crush them. We're talking about a team that unless something a mistake happens, that has come in third, at least for the tournament this year.

I mean, let's face it, you know, the other teams I'm so sick of Alabama. I'm so sick of Clemson. I'm sick of it. It makes me nauseated just to see that guy, even though I like that Clemson quarterback is something else. But we have just it it's a toss up. So one of those guys throws an interception. It's all over, but they're not even playing. And that's how stupid I am. They're playing offense state that says as long as a couple of great players say they favor Lewis.

Last week it was a tough game, but they lost. There's no way. I mean, this is an easy call for me. I think I have to say it's going to win by about thirty one points. Ohio State, Penn State, Saturday, seven thirty on ABC. Richard, I got to be honest, you don't sound like you know what you're talking about. Third in the tournament is not a phrase I've heard around around college football.

What the hell are you talking about? Were you hanging out?

Is really I tell you, I've been hanging out with the same people you're hanging out with and they think they're going to be at least third. I mean, look at their is great. Their offense is this crazily great. They got they got a high right candidate. I mean, he is right about the where you won't put in there for crying out. No, it's not that. It's just calling it as it it's just using the phrase third in the tournament.

I just haven't heard that phrase around college for don't listen to him. You're right. You're on the right side of this. Ohio State. Penn State. We're getting ready with, of course, Richard Lewis right here on ESPN Radio, named three players on Ohio State. Don't just don't do that. Don't do that to him. Why don't do that? It's unfair. Ohio State against Penn State Saturday. Seven thirty on ABC, Curb Your Enthusiasm, season eleven.

You have you've been friends. Is this true? You haven't been friends with Larry David since you were like very, very young, have you? And we were born in the hospital three days apart. Same hospital I know my entire life, unfortunately. So how does this work?

Do you guys fight very often off camera, like have bitter disagreements where you hang up a landline?

We fight every time we see each other. My wife says, how did you shoot? So I go, what do you think? We went to a restaurant. We swim with each other. And I went.

So all the whole show is I live.

He annoys me and I adore him. I mean, it's that simple. Another got paid so much money for paying somebody while we don't pay you.

But I feel like you hate me with the same degree of rage I believe that I used to do.

I'm going out. I was a little bit I sort of I'm honest and say that I have a little bit of love for you now, but you're wrong about. You're wrong about. And it's funny you never did that. And that was that was stupid. As I said, I apologize.

And at least you're admitting it. I want to I want to hear Richard Lewis, because you did a good amount of very good standup. And I had heard you say that you did stand up one time at a bowling alley.

Is that the saddest place you've done standup or is there been another place sadder than the bowling alley after 50 years is that I was just below Haji's, the famous Brooklyn Dodger first baseman. He had a book. He had a club called Theologist Lane. So you the wall was right there, right between. The mike was right about two feet from the bowling alley. The war was between the bowling alley and the club. So every time you do a joke, you hear.

So does that represent the saddest that I was?

That was a low point when I was like twenty three. But then I opened for Sonny and Cher. I had to play 15000 seaters. Oh my God. I don't know where I had the the balls to do that. It was an unbearable. You know, Richard Lewis, 50000, I'd say, the Montreal Forum, and as I said, there's a little Jew down, by the way. But I mean, how do you get out of your area?

Well, over 50000 French Canadians. I mean, it's crazy. Do you know what I did? I sold out my New York Rangers. I mean, I could take it, but I was the registrar and they went crazy. They started screaming and I killed the audience. And I had erectile dysfunction ever since that day 50 years ago.

OK, let's end on that note. Very good. Good talking to you, Richard. We'll check in with you next week.

You might lose it. First of all, you e-mail me the usual erectile function drugs. I would I would I would dirty up our fun interview with your blog, your claim.

Wait a minute. Richard Lewis is claiming on the air that I emailed him record. I finish with a bit closer your erectile dysfunction drug. That's what you're claiming? I did. I love it.

I wouldn't I wouldn't lower my Carnegie Hall. Stupid joke like that, you moron.

All right, Richard.

All right.

All right. We'll talk to you tomorrow. We'll talk to you tomorrow. All right.

Bye bye. I'll call you in five minutes. All right. We'll talk to you in five minutes.

But it is not always so.

I'm ready for Ohio State Patty's Day. I know you guys fired up. That's the that's the best guest on this show.

And this shows his recruiter. People will see if Richard Lewis is there again. And we'll get him on the Hard Network out next segment. Don Lemon tart, there's a teenage boy, Ric Flair, 16 times your world heavyweight champion, still got a limousine ride. Yes, still. And wheeling and dealing yet once again, ladies and gentlemen, natu boy. Yeah, Batard. Whoa.

This incident, Lilibeth, our show with these two got on ESPN Radio, ESPN Radio is presented by Progressive Insurance News from the Dan Liotard Show Nation.

Someone has just hit us up in the Dr Pepper Twitter feed. Melinda at Coach's Daughter after our segment on athletes whose names connotes sneezing bleeds on Twitter, please install some plexiglass so Dan doesn't die. Let me tell you something, Coach's daughter, thanks for your concern about me and the. We are taking your calls, we are looking for two what calls Richard Lewis is welcome any time he wishes to come around here and set fire to the program, we enjoy fighting with him.

He has been my longtime nemesis. I love someone shouting a echoey sentence into the cavernous beyond.

I played Carnegie Hall shaking a fist that it's a great card to throw down, though.

It really is. Well, it's a great card to throw down as funny. It's a ridiculously old card to throw down in twenty twenty. I want to get to what's happened with Dontari Poe, with the Dallas Cowboys to God. Do you know anything about this? Why are you laughing, Mike?

As I saw a blurb that boiled down to why he was cut and which made me laugh.

It is the quotes are funny too from Jerry Jones because he's making it about weight and performance when he's the only cowboy to kneel on. Jerry Jones is watch after Jerry Jones publicly said there would be no kneelers. And did that Doce know thing that that line dancing thing that he did.

That's curious because the headlines where he's fat that were that well, that's what Jerry Jones was.

He kept hitting. He's like, what's the point of talking about the other stuff? He's fat. And it was just such a great camouflage, like it was such a, hey, it's a beautiful performance. In fact, it's not that he kept kneeling on the on the anthem.

What does he say if he's not fat, though? Like, what's the excuse performance. Just performance. So it's always your if he's skinny, it will not be performance and fat, it'll just be performance. Pretty sure I saw a headline cut Fat Jake Go Now Emanuel Acho cause is to sound.

I know we're hoping that he's to throw.

Well yeah he's it's very well done and we'll both look like Zero's next to you and Jared and thank you.

Are getting the better ones.

You are getting applause from Mike Ryan. The number is seven eight six four five six four eight three seven. If you're going to give us an athlete whose name sounds like a sneeze, we need you to deliver it as a clearly enunciated sneeze. Please. I am sorry to be so meticulous and such a dictator about this, but it's what we need. OK, if you're going to sneeze as a comedic device, we need to understand the name and we need to deliver.

It is a sneeze. We're going to need the answer in the form of a question. I'm sorry, I am holding you to this. Seven, eight, six four five six four eight three seven. But it's important for the comedic value. I am simply waiting for Richard Lewis. Mike, who else do we have on the line as I clear out some of these singers so that I can get some of these sneezers?

We have a lot on the line, but considering where we are in the clock, let me play a prerecorded submission from one of our listeners. We got a lot of that over the last two days.

Do it, do it. Do it to a fellow. Who are you running through your run and through now that you're the QB, the dolphins, they can't be beat. Ryan, take a seat. Ryan, take a seat.

I like it. The great boy George. That is correct. Stewart follows me on Twitter. That is also somehow correct.

I was listening back to the show, my car and I don't believe you when you say you deal with Leigh Steinberg every day.

Well, not every day. Well, you said every day.

Well, it started off as Dems and then it got to some texts of phone calls because he got down to serious business about Patrick Mahomes and dad.

My point stands, I don't believe you might want to me, it's not nice.

It's 100 hundred percent accurate. Usually place to call. You want to lie. You're listening to Dunant's from the game. I'm there on ESPN Radio. Does this place look haunted? No, I don't think so. What about those two creepy girls? Come stay with us.

That is truly frightening. You know what's really scary? Missing out guy, this great service. You get 24/7 access to licensed agents. Thank you. Creepy girls were to see your room. I couldn't sleep in the car now. Happy Geico.

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