Hour 1: Suey Category: Best Michael Doleac Songs
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz- 1,165 views
- 9 Sep 2020
Dan Le Batard and Stugotz talk to Kyle Brandt. Plus, the Miami Heat are in the ECF, a new Back In My Day, Suey Category: Best Michael Doleac Songs and much more.
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Dan, this is the down Ledbetter. Sure. This still got Sparkasse. Let's go. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Let's go. He knew this day would oh, so go lets you feel bad boys back you down. There you go. And you see any new website.
And let's go is Miami Heat. Let's go Heat.
We have two generations of Cody on with us. One of them is coughing because he's laughing too much. He's got spittle on his face for some reason. Greg Cody of the Miami Herald. Our thanks to Brendan Tobin of 790, the ticket for that truly awful masterpiece that he sang right there about Tyler hero, the 20 year old baby faced assassin, Greg Cody. Why do you have spittle on your face from coughing?
I am heroically battling a cold right now, and I don't want anybody to know because, you know, I don't like to make it all about me. A lot of people have a lot worse things going on in the world, as you may have heard the past several months. So I don't like to complain that I have a cold. I'm just coming through it. Right.
OK, I am a pain. Great. Thank you for doing that. You're not you're not quite terrible enough when you're healthy. Now, we've got sickness to add to the mix.
He's been sick since Sunday to like he came over my house to play golf Monday. It was Monday actually. He was coughing. He had these yellow socks on. He was coughing. He did have a mask on. And people were avoiding Greg Codi at my golf course like he was the plague. I mean, he is the plague.
He's been sick like this not since Monday, but since 1979, it would appear in my defense, those were my yellow surgery socks from my major operation a year and a half ago. And they mean a lot to me.
You kept them. Sorry, I kept them. I wear them at golf when he claimed they don't help me. He claims that they mean a lot to him. And his only time that he uses them or talks about them or touches them is when he plays golf. It's really odd.
These are thick wool socks, like you would wear these during a snowstorm. And I'm not joking as a player.
I put it on the pole that libertador show would you keep and where your surgery socks while golfing a year and a half later, Billy is nodding his head vigorously.
Yeah, everyone keeps those hospital socks. Absolutely everyone. And if you have a family member, friend or whatever that's in the hospital and you see sometimes there's extra socks just in the corner, when you visit them, you give them a balloon, you give them flowers or whatever you like. Hey, these extra socks like you want to. Are these up for grabs? I and I take these socks home. Like, what's the deal here? They're free socks.
Dan, you don't take free socks are the best. And they're the kind of socks that, you know, you kind of decide which foot you want to put it in. You also decide, I want this one to be the top, this one to be the bottom, because they have that rubber grip on both sides. You don't slip and you don't fall the next best socks to hospital socks, socks from trampoline parks. Those are basically shoes, the grips on.
Those are insane nobilities.
Right. The problem with Greg, though, is I have no objection to him holding on to the socks, keeping the socks. It's wearing them on one hundred and seven degree day to play golf. I mean, that's that's my only objection.
The worst socks are the ones you get when you're trying on shoes at a shoe store. Right. We can all agree they're for ranking socks. I love when Chris Coady slinks out of the Zouma, ashamed of what it is, he's just added to the conversation, the Miami Heat. I don't know whether they're the national story today because LeBron did the thing last night where you can be amazed by what LeBron did. But the Heat have pulled off the biggest upset in their history in the playoffs.
And Greg Kotey is nominating them for America's team status right now. Greg Codi of the Miami Herald covered the game last night by sitting in front of his television in his underwear and then going to a computer in his underwear and writing an old timey column in that column. Have you proclaim the Miami Heat America's team?
I didn't in the column, but I am exclusively right now on your air because, you know, LeBron is always going to be the national story. Right. But I think the Heat are the feel good story. I think the heat or and I'm not just talking about South Florida in Miami, I think the Heat or a team that America can get behind, they've got all the elements. They've got Jimmy Butler proving that he's elite, that he's top level, not a secondary star.
They've got Bam Adebayo just blossoming in front of us.
They've got Goran Dragic reserve all season now starting and shining Tyler Hero who has a guy whose last name is Hero. This is the Miami Heat. I mean this is a team you get behind and I think it's a, I think it's a fun team. They're the first five seed to reach a conference finals since two thousand and thirteen.
I think it's a great little story happening down here, lest you think that Greg Cody is the biggest heat Homer in the world. Boys, they should be the national story. They're not going to be first. That's how you know what a national story is. Whatever leads the block with first take, it's LeBron and it's LeBron. And after that, it's going to be about Yanase. It's going to be about the teams at the Miami Heat beat, unless maybe it's Boston, because I don't think Jayson Tatum is at that superstar level where we start questioning everything he does.
I will push back on the notion that there are a lovable underdog, there are an underdog. But Jimmy Butler isn't out here to be lovable. You know, this is an angry team. And I think for the most part, people aren't happy that the Miami Heat are back out there in the Eastern Conference finals. They've spent the majority of their basketball loving lives not liking this Miami Heat team. I don't really think they're going to rally around Jimmy Butler now, who, in terms of villains in the NBA, is one of the top notch Bhatti's plus America's team.
Lovable underdogs could never be a team that's run by Pat Riley. It's just it's not going to happen. It will never, ever happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not twenty five years from now. America will never get behind that man.
They are going to be the lowest seed advancing. We're going to get probably chalk except for them.
They have disrupted the bubble in a sport where the team that is best is the one that advances almost predictably like a metronome. What has just happened here is the Bucs season has fallen apart for all the reasons that people doubted them to begin with, playoff basketball is half court basketball. This is an epic failure for the Milwaukee Bucks to have that regular season and end up as a team out in the second round to a team in Miami that no one expected to be in that situation before the season started.
And they lost with the best player on the court. Indisputably, no matter how good you think Jimmy Butler is, they indisputably lost with the MVP, the defensive player of the year and the best player on the basketball court. We're going to talk more Miami Heat next, but we've got more Greg Cody home talk here.
Paid that man his money.
Yes, Greg.
Well, listen, that's two years in a row for Giannis right. And now he's put himself in a position where you know he's a superstar who can't do it alone who's going to get some help or join another team. And you know the heat could be the byproduct of that. America's team could pick up the Greek freak and you know, so great is getting better.
Maybe so if you're not familiar with what happened here during the local hour, Billy called Giannis a known liar and Greg Cody is also here to fan the flames on Giannis coming to Miami. Even though you said flatly I will not be traded I'm not going to be traded I'm here to stay. The shipping container does not care. They were wondering during the local hour if they even want Giannis if Giannis is something he's the number two it becomes.
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Learn more about their sustainable practices and find your pair it all birds dotcom today. So we are having this week our Stewie's, it's basically a celebration from a year of stupid, awful, terrible things we've done and occasionally some sparkling moments, we've got the best Michael Doleac song is going to make an appearance at some point in the next couple of hours. What a wonderfully random category that is. We do have a total of many, many songs. How many songs, Chris, did you cut down the Doleac songs to?
How many? I don't know exactly.
Off top of my head. I believe it's like six or seven. OK, and how about back in my day? Because there is another Shuey that is best back in my day in honor of your father. How many of those are there in the final category? We have about six or seven of those as well. All right, I said that I had count on these things. I don't know exactly how many.
An entire segment dedicated to Greg Cody listening to Greg Cody.
Oh, that's this is his dream scenario here. Greg, do you have a back in my day, a new one ready right now in order to to send it into.
All right, let's tease this or really kick off the proceedings here.
I like that. Yeah, we've got we've got Kyle Brandt in the next segment. But let's go ahead and figure out how to get ready for back in my day right here to get you ready for the Shuey for best back in my day. Go ahead, Mike.
And now it is time to take a trip down memory lane. Here's your guy, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day. Cars look around fellow motorists any road, any time, anywhere, and you will notice that by degrees, cars, regular passenger cars, sedans are going the way of the hand crank model T and the wood paneled station wagon. The former king of the road dethroned. I draw the conclusion just by circumstantial observation over the past few years noticed a crick in my neck as increasingly I had to look up at the car next to me at a stoplight.
Here I am in my ordinary car level ride, and all around me are behemoth trucks and SUVs piloted by the high riding New Lords of Travel.
I did some research and sure enough, the car is dying in America as Hank Ford spins in his grave and the pipe drops from Norman Rockwell's agape jaw.
The car, once a symbol of Americana and a celebration of top down freedom, is vanishing. The top three selling vehicles in the U.S. in 2019, all were pickup trucks and the SUV market share more than double that of passenger cars by forty seven point four percent to twenty two point one. A Toyota Camry snuck into eighth place when nobody was looking, and that was about it for a car in the top 10.
The LMC Automotive Market Analysis Company estimates that by 2020, 84 percent of all General Motors sales will be trucks and SUVs or crossovers. For Ford, it'll be 90 percent by then. Soon you'll step into a new car showroom and ask to see a sedan. And it'll be like walking into a Best Buy and asking where the royal manual typewriters are.
Maybe it was an omen that almost exactly one year ago, Rick, OK, because in the past year, cars idling sadly into the sedan graveyard included the Ford Fiesta, Fusion and Taurus, the Buick Lacrosse, Chevy Volt and Cruze, Cadillac CTS next year, Jaguar RSJ Lexus GS 300.
And yes, the Toyota Prius sat still now lapsed into history. Two icons of the American road, the Volkswagen Beetle and Chevrolet Impala.
Oh, the Impala.
I recall the first car I ever sat in was my dad's dilapidated old 1954 Chevy Bel Air that he called old Betsy.
And 10 years later, my family could afford to use 1960 Chevy Impala to draw on our top. Felt like Kings. It was Bodacious Apple red with big white sidewalls and those iconic flat fins in the back.
What a beauty. My own first car was a used 1964 Buick Skylark.
I was on top of the world back then, the sedan and rule the road back then. Pickup trucks were not status symbols for urban cowboys. They were work trucks jousting over dirt roads with a farmer behind the wheel or a construction worker. You want an extra cargo space?
Back then you bought a station wagon. SUV didn't steal into the mainstream until eighty four with the Jeep Cherokee. Oh, for another day again, just one day. Sedans working once more when the sights of my childhood and my imagination were one. Listen, the sedan graveyard is stirring. The ghosts of rising engines, decades silent, are rumbling. Through the mist comes a parade of sedans, long and low ghosts driving Chrysler, New Yorker's Lincoln Continentals, Mercury, Monterrey's Pontiac Bonneville, Ford Galaxy's Cadillac Deville's and there an apple red Impala with big white sidewalls and white vans and wild Bill Cody waving from 1965 as he grins behind the wheel.
I'm Greg Cody.
And that's how it was back in my day. I don't know. I really don't understand why you snuck the death of the lead singer of the cause in there. Like I understand. I understand it's hard.
I think you do understand that man, his money.
We're going to objectify men in the next segment. Yes, we have all fallen in love with Kyle Brandt and we do not mind all these objectification. We are building up toward the best but are the best glutes in the history of sports. We've got thighs today, but before we get to thighs, I am so very sorry, Christine Lacy, for interrupting you.
And finally, according to Collider, Sacha Baron Cohen has not only secretly completed production on the sequel to 2006 is Borat, he's even begun screening the film for select industry types. Have we increased the degree of difficulty with that KAZUE? Is it harder to do that, Christine, than the average update?
I don't know why I find the KAZUE is funny. I just I just did yesterday. Looks like they have a new bed for you. And I said, OK. And he goes, just go after that. Then in it. Then in it. So he says, I wasn't sure what was going on and I still find it funny.
OK, very good. We will unfortunately play it long past you or anyone else finding it funny. That's how we do it around here. Thank you, Christine. We appreciate the time again, Kabra. You can check them out. Host of NFL Networks. Good Morning Football. They do it right over there. Airs daily, 7:00 a.m. They have some fun.
Our audience is swooning over Kyle Brandt. Yeah, love him.
He's got our sensibilities again. That's a good show. You should watch it. NFL Network does a good job of combining the entertainment with the information. Also, 10 questions with Kyle Brandt, the podcast available, Spotify and YouTube. Thank you, Kyle, for making the time for us again. Go ahead and set the table for us on what we're doing today.
OK, well, today is today, then. It's an important day, as the t shirt might say. Skies out. Sighs out. This is this is a very this is kind of like you're a best supporting actor at the Oscars, one of the big ones. And I just want to break the ice. Dan, do you still got anybody on the crew? Did any of you ever own a Suzanne Somers thymus?
I did, actually. Yes, I am a sucker for all those infomercials. He's got like ten of them.
He's got body by Jake in his garage door, Tony Little all that baseball. But the ThighMaster is one one of the goat fitness inventions. But typically I've seen when we do these guys, the retro entry is seem to hit bigger. So I'm just going to bypass the low hanging fruit like, say, Quen. There's a lot of rugby and soccer players. I don't know. Well, with bulging thighs, I'm going to go right to a Hall of Famer.
I loved this man's thighs as a young boy, Vinny the Microwave Johnson of the Detroit Pistons six man off the bench played in an era where the shorts were so laughably high that they were really legitimately briefs. And Vinnie Johnson's shorts made John Stockton's look like Chris Webers. And he just had five, four days. I mean, this is this is a first ballot guy, in my opinion.
I like it off to a good start. Let me ask the question of the audience here at the Today show. Did Vinny Johnson's shorts know. Yes. That Vinny Johnson shorts make John Stockton shorts looked like Chris Webber shorts at LeBron talk show. And also is the ThighMaster, what did you call it? The height of the fitness industry?
I'm going to call it the goat fitness gimmick invention.
All right. Put that on the pole as well. Please give me a brand. If you had thighs like that, you would show him off do if you were Vinnie Johnson, right? I mean, of course, yes.
You would go all the time and briefs just like this conversation. These take a strange places. Yesterday we were talking calves and we went to Teddy Roosevelt, who had unbelievable calves. I'm going to take you someplace is now I don't know what the sensibility there, guys you have for pro wrestling. But in the 90s, when it was still WWF, there was a wrestler called the warlord and his ties even in that realm, even in that era when guys were doing all kinds of things, go to the Google images for the war.
Lord, he he he is the Hulk Hogan of Thiazide. Hoekstra is always bragging about his biceps. The warlords ties first ballot again. I'm putting them in with Vinnie Johnson. Oh, my God.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Substantive. Do we have any other nominees or is that going to close the category?
I got two more for you. And while you're on the Google, stay here, about ten years ago speaking to Hulk Hogan, they rebooted American Gladiators and The Huckster was the host. I want you to look up American Gladiators. Titan Titan was the name of one of the gladiators. And I don't know if you got thigh injections or implants or if it's just good old hard work. These things are alien. They're not of this earth, American Gladiators, Titan.
I know the listeners are going to be into it. Can you pull it up for a dance studio?
Oh, yeah, I'm checking it out. That's not hard work. God. And he wore those short shorts, but he is wearing a piece of spandex there. That is looks like a tie. It looks like a very small washcloth. Yes.
It's very it's it's just much, much like many Johnsen's and the last one I have I'm not including Dan, I'm not including women in the size category. So it's a little creepy. However, I will include a fictitious woman if you guys are into the Pixar films. There's a movie called The Incredibles in which Alastor Girl. Has size that are unparalleled in man, woman and pull up last girl, and it's really the spelling of the last just a great list, a really great list.
I am very pleased with the amount of thought you're putting into these. Now, help me with something. We did. We did calves and thighs. Can we do then legs or is there going to be too much overlap? Just total legs?
I think they're such greener pastures than than doubling down on total legs. It's kind of like when we attempted to do both jaw and chin and we got caught in that Howie. Long purgatory. But where does he go? I think we've covered the lower body unless you want to get into feet. We did do hands and fingers. We covered Antonio Fonseca. We can get into feet. But I still think what you see is coming in. We're still trying to get up to the top of the Mount Everest of this, which is the gluteus maximus.
And I'm ready for that one right there.
There's a solid answer and a great breakdown by you may offer up someone on the thigh front for you to take a look at. Listen, you're the master. I get it. Robert Newhouse, Cowboys fullback back in the 70s and 80s. It is a good one. It's a really good one.
Hi, this is Tom Landry, Staubach era.
Yes. I guess I got to educate myself on.
Yes, yes. Robert knew late 70s, early 80s. And it's worth looking up there. What do you want to do? Do you want to do feet tomorrow? Would you like to do abs? What do you want to do tomorrow?
I like a challenge. Absa's easy then. That's simple. Let's do feet. Where could that possibly go. I'll go for it. All right.
We're going to get weird. Very good talking to you. Thank you for making the time for us. Again, check out his work because I'm telling you, he does have our sensibilities all over it. NFL Network, Good Morning Football, 7:00 a.m. everyday Eastern. Also ten questions with Kyle Brandt, the podcast available on Spotify and YouTube. Thank you, sir. We will talk to you tomorrow. Can't wait to see you then.
Thanks. Put it on the pole, please, Guillermo Libertador show, did you like Stewart audibly wow, when the contract details on Jalen Ramsey came in? I did not. I'm not real sure why Stuart did. You're surprised that maybe the best corner in the league would be getting one hundred million dollar deal?
I guess. I mean, just, you know, one hundred and five million dollars for a cornerback. I don't know why it surprised me so much. I shouldn't be surprised. It's a value position, a valuable position in the NFL. I think it's just been a while since I've seen contracts and contract extensions at one hundred and five million dollars for a quarterback that the Jaguars didn't want is crazy. Well, they wanted him. I don't I think anybody would want Jalen Ramsey.
But enough about the sports. We have a sweet category for you. One of two that we're giving you today will be giving you a couple every day this week. The Sunnis are our Oscars, and it's basically as random as can be with this particular category. We got to singing Michael Doleac songs around here. It was weird and it sounded like this.
And now the Sunni nominees for best, Michael Doleac, song listener Ben Return of the Mack Return of Doleac.
You know that he is not black as Michael Bolly and is taking it to the right. Yes, I think he played with that. Yes, that's Michael Doleac. And he never smoked crack.
Oh, no. We'll take listener chandelier. One, two, three.
One, two, three, swish. One, two, three. One, two, three, swish. One, two, three, one, two, three, swish. Throw them up till I lose count. I'm gonna pass to my Doleac. Michael Doleac. He's gonna shoot like the defense doesn't exist. Like it doesn't exist. Just leave me alone. Listener Brendon Ice Ice Baby.
Step back and listen. Doleac is back with the brand new attention. Something got the hold of him every 15 minutes. The game night. Last stop. Yo, I don't know. He had a cup of coffee. Nothing, no foam.
Listen to fill my neck, my back, my neck, my back.
My my Condola TV producer, Lorenzo Rodriguez. Yackety yak. He played with Lane, but the shot was rebound. Put back five to wonder does he know that you bought my soul yet.
Don't talk about as good a good listener Joe staying alive.
Oh you're on ESPN Radio. Go ahead. All right. Thanks a lot. I didn't know about the universe then. I didn't know.
We just got to it. Let's go.
This maybe you can tell by the name of my jersey. I'm totally, totally free to use my computer. Yet I'm Doleac, my wife, who told me that my high school there. So is that guy's voice.
When he was speaking, I did not expect that.
Singing voice listener Matt get by with a little help from my friends. What would you do if I would you stand up and try to block me?
Maybe some people said, oh, I'll check it out.
I will try to hide it from the top of this Doleac with a little help for free. Fall for it.
Yes. Weird show. Yeah, excellent, except for one of them, which was I have no idea why one of them was in there, except for, you know, maybe just to hear us be disgusted by it. We will get to the singing sportswriter's analysis of the Doleac songs in a second, because Greg Codi is the inventor of the parody song around here. He is. And that is a surprisingly loaded category. I remember going that way.
Yes. I don't well, that's because there were so many other bad ones that we had to we threw like a machete using a machete in the jungle trying to get through them. Billy seems exhausted and I think it's the Marlins playoff chase. Billy, why do you look so tired too much?
Dan Like, honestly, I thought I wanted the Marlins to be good, but I never realized how much work it was going to be for me to follow the Marlins when they were somewhat good. And this expanded playoffs seemed like a good idea until I realized I need to be watching like eight extra teams now. Just I got this MLB, whatever it's called, extra innings or price or whatever it's called. Or you can watch all the games as part of T-Mobile Tuesday.
And I'm watching these random, like Red Sox versus Phillies games, just like I need to be watching to see what's going on. And I'm not just scoreboard watching because I can not watch every single game and I can choose if I want the home broadcast or the road broadcasts of every single game. And I'm going back and forth and I'm watching all these games. I'm like, what am I doing to myself?
And then you throw in there, the NBA playoffs are still going on, which should have been done three months ago in football. Football starts tomorrow and it's just too much. It's too much at this point. And I'm sorry, either make the playoffs or don't make the playoffs, but I shouldn't be watching Tuesday games between the Red Sox and the Phillies. And by the way, Red Sox, if you blow another one of these games because you had the Phillies yesterday in the bottom of the ninth inning or the bottom of the seventh sorry, doubleheaders.
Now we have two innings. There's just too much going on with sports. I can't keep up. I don't know what's going on. I want sports the way sports were intended to be, the way Greg Coati grew up watching sports. Nine innings for my base. Oh, thumbs up making the playoffs.
Please tell them a vigorous thumbs up from Greg Cody.
You agree with Billy?
Yeah, there's there's too much going on right now. We're juggling six or seven sports at a time.
You're listening to Dan Cody on ESPN Radio.