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This is the down labor part. Sure, we've still got Sparkasse. We begin in the obvious place, seven, eight, six four five six four eight three seven is the telephone number. And I am looking all over America Sea to shining sea people in sports history who you could mistake for Ed McMahon from behind at four a.m. in a drunken hotel lobby, seven, eight six four five six four eight three seven just from behind. Ed McMahon still has been wearing me out during the break, insisting that we do this.
So we will get to that in a second. Seven, eight, six, four or five, six four eight three seven. We have the series to get to. Annually, they're our award ceremony. They are our Oscars, I know there are a lot of bets taking place in the shipping container that I will say our Oscars wrong, but I have decided to slow down this year and our Oscars will not be a tongue twister. Put it on the pole.
Gomo is our Oscars a tongue twister? Because I get it wrong every year. But we have basically end of year celebration in August usually. But time has been turned upside down. The weird time. It is an unbelievably weird time, probably the weirdest. Put that on the pole as well. Guillermo, is this the weirdest time?
It's usually reserved for the slowest time in sports. However, we seem to be doing this right on the precipice of the busiest time in sports.
They're playing hockey in August, September now, I guess, basketball playoff games on Labor Day. And I am going to shock the audience right now. Shock the audience. Good time is an illusion. Time has been turned upside down. We are two sleeps away. From Houston at Kansas City, the NFL football season is two sleeps away if nobody gets pandemic between now and then, which is possible, right? This has already happened in college football, right?
College football has already. What was the game? What was the game that was lost? Was that an SMU game?
It was an SMU game, yes. But they did get BYU and Navy. Yes, yes, yes.
We got BYU Navy. We got fifty five three. We've got nothing but twenty eight year olds with your college football, if that's what you wanted from college football. College football is back to teams. You recognize Navy and BYU, everyone out there in their 30s. But it is shocking to say Houston at Kansas City is a couple of days away, and in that vein, Stuart, I want to briefly talk some football here with you because I'm not going to let you Chicago Bears with that news dump on Friday night.
Get away with naming Drabinsky quietly the starter and hoping nobody notices that you gave Foles a bunch of money. They did that on Friday night on purpose. Two guys headed into the week. And the bears are trying still, even in the offseason, to hide their quarterback.
In their defense, Jacksonville gave Foles all the money they just traded for all that money. Right?
They traded for the money. Thank you, Mike.
They did sneak that in Friday night. It was so funny, hoping no one would notice who they're starting to a busy weekend and a pandemic. Let's see. Nobody I don't want anybody talking too much again. I don't want anyone talking. I honestly didn't think he was going to be back in any form with Chicago. But the the thing that I wanted to get into with you and again, we will have our we are going to begin in the next segment.
We begin with what is often best picture for us. Worst mistake coming right out of the box with worst mistake of the last year or so. You're going to want to be here for that, but. I wanted to ask you about your Davian Clowney. Do you have any good theories for me on what I'm about to say? Because I don't know how to do the measurements in that sport. I've told you many times there are many people doing the measurements very well, better than they ever have.
The advanced metrics in that sport are really fun to study. One of them, for example, Stargardt's will tell you that you, Davian Clowney, how do you you measure pass rusher? I'm guessing most people listening to this measure pass rusher one way sacks.
And so Jadeveon Clowney is now a tight sign, a one year deal and fired his agent. This advanced metric shows that Jadeveon Clowney gets to the quarterback faster than all but four players in the league. So he's not getting sex because he's terrible when it comes to sex, but also the game has changed so much that everyone has to account for clowning everyone. And so they get rid of them. They get rid of their throws less than two or three seconds, less than three seconds.
I would say pressuring the quarterback is in today's NFL, almost as important as the.
What if I said to you, which do you which stat do you want more as a measurement? OK, because I know as a fan you want to say the measure of a pass rusher is Sack's. But as a studier of value and you have to put an investment in something, which do you want more? The guy who gets to the quarterback faster on average than all but four players in the league or a guy who's got a bunch of sacks, like if you have to put your money there because the NFL just told you that they're going sacks, the NFL just told you we don't value very much how much Davian Clowney, how fast he gets.
We don't care that he disrupts. We want him to say, here's what you got to take a one year deal because whatever you thought you were going to get for how disruptive you are, you are not going to get that. So now you've got to do a bet on yourself one year deal during a pandemic, which is probably why he's getting a new agent.
I mean, he did you know, he got 15 million landed in a good spot and a good team. But I guess the game has changed so much that I'd rather have I'd rather have the guy that can get to the quarterback that quickly and then sack him once he gets there.
Of course, I'd rather have Lawrence Taylor, but I'll take a guy who can get to the quarterback, disrupt, get there that quickly, throw off the timing of an offense over a guy who piles up, even though Khalil Mack and Aaron Donald are totally on Blockbuster got Lawrence Taylor could not exist in this game because of how quickly the quarterbacks in the offense get rid of the ball because they've turned these short passing plays into the equivalent of running plays where they could do it very safely without bothering the block.
Jadeveon Clowney. We're going to get to our Shaways in a second. You're going to want to be here for this. Worst mistake is coming up next.
Hold that thought. Let's sell some ads.
This is worst mistake in a year where I think you and I of age more than any other year. We've we've done this at seventeen now. Perfect.
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Hey, it's your homey sorry, it's your home. I know you don't like it when I call myself your old man, so I have some favors to ask you. Could you get rid of a few chairs in the living room? My floorboards are tired.
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Go to Geico Dotcom today. You will be able to vote at Libertador, Show on the winners, thus begins the Suez. It's a wonderful week around here and this is a loaded category. Stewarts and I will feel great shame here. It is the worst mistake from the last year.
And now the three nominees for worst mistake, Stu Godse, doesn't know how to say empanada, I'm walking around your supermarket and I'm spending over a hundred dollars on my groceries for the week and I take a piece of candy or an empty banana that's not stealing one banana.
Dan thinks a bucks player from Delaware is foreign.
The Bucks deleted a tweet a couple of weeks ago because they've got the foreign player, Dontae.
I don't think he's a foreign player. I can't pronounce even Senzo. Excuse me. That's right. He on to. Yes. White. I don't think I think he's from Indiana.
But, you know, his name sounds noren enough that I had that I thought it was you, but he was like one of these swing guards from Italy. I thought he was like, Lukáš, I am dying to know where dontae dividends for us from Delaware.
Dan screws up Dr. Folch, his name.
You've got folks out here saying don't shake hands with anybody. You call them Finchy. We all had the same reaction. So I don't know what the fine for that is.
It's probably pretty famously now. Foushee. Yeah, Foushee, Ferrucci.
I mean, Tadao, thank you to all your all your efforts there.
You made him like a luxury resort on the beach. It was weird.
Stukas thanks in Alexandria. Stochastics in Alexandria. Realtor is a woman named Alexandria.
We'll Brinson is reporting he asked the question, why doesn't the Washington football team have a new nickname planned yet? Probably because of an Alexandria realtor. You know what? That Alexandria realtor did what you do. I don't know whether it's a she or he, but trademarked everything as soon as he or she.
Alexandra, I figured. Alex, I don't know. It's it's a it's a it's a weird thing for you to be harping on. It's totally fair, though. And my apologies for what I did.
I didn't this was a woman, so I didn't understand why you were so much a woman city, not the person. That's correct.
Well, that's on that's the other thing that's unbelievably like, oh, you're telling me that Stuart thought it was a realtor named Alexandria. That is unbelievably light. We can't get to the weekend observations just yet because we have to stay right here for a second. This Alexandria realtor, Alexandria is not her name. We don't even know if she is our or not set up.
This Alexandria really only makes sense.
Shoegaze struggles to say the phrase make it count, get five cents off every gallon every day with market cap rewards from Maratha, sign up visit.
I don't know if this is right, Roy. I don't want to give out the wrong information here. Make EMT count dotcom or download the free app today. Oh, I see it now. Long weekend. Make it count.
Dotcom Dan awkwardly ending the show talking about Jason Momoa.
Everyone's trying to look like old Mike Ryan, not listening to Dan, who was the first one to rock the crucifix earring. Was it Barry Bonds? Was it Lawrence Taylor? Was it George Michael?
I'm not sure it's a George Michael. That's what I just said. And was it? You think so? I wasn't listening.
Dan forgets Myles Garrett is black, his helmet being removed. The first thing that happens there is, hey, human being in there now. You hit him over the head with a helmet. Of course it's wrong. But I ask you to consider this because I didn't say anything about white, black or race. Let it be a black guy doing it to a white guy and have the white guy not have his helmet on and see if the language doesn't get escalated to a really uncomfortable, loud place.
I'm not the the brightest star in the sky, but wasn't a black guy doing it to a white guy.
Dan tries to recreate John Travolta's infamous Idina Menzel mistake.
Guys kind of sing-song did with great confidence.
And he said the wickedly talented one and only Hardeen Mishan.
Watch that. I did. You know, I got everybody out of the way and you're like hero extraordinaire bollocked. Yeah, we're all like, oh, no, this is bad. And Billy's like, I like it.
Dan reads an inappropriate Twitter handle by mistake.
This is what's happened with Aaron Rodgers. The defense gave up forty five to the defense, gave up forty four points. The defense gave up 37 points. And the other three losses, he led a game tying drive and never got the ball back. This is from Barry McCaffrey.
They never got the ball again.
No, that can't be right. It's impossible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just felt for some good.
Coleman The stats are right, though. The stats are right. I can't trust anything you share and. All right, yeah, I think I trust and the stats are right, that that name is not real. The stats are right. When I didn't see it my bad I got. I wanted to give credit to the I wanted to give credit. That was an innocent mistake. I mean, you should be ashamed all you want. It was an innocent mistake.
Dan messes up Chris the bear Fallica is named Chris Fallick says on Twitter in its call game. Alabama will play it one hundred and sixty seventh game since the start of 2008. It's Fallica. He made them a penis.
Dan and Stukas screw up Mike Ryan's Tim McGraw bit. I think I'd like to know when I'm going to die because I sort of romanticize the idea of like living like you were dying.
When you're on a countdown clock, imagine all the life experiences, like I could go skydiving, Rocky Mountain climbing, go like Roy brings up a point. Roy does bring up a point like you might be risking paralysis and only tried my best, just totally terrible my life.
What if, God forbid, it's nothing like what it says a week though, like or two days or a month. I don't want to know that.
Well, then you just love deeper and speak sweeter and give forgiveness is those that you've been denying. Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying. Do you have more? Is that it now?
Thank you guys for let me go through that smoothly. Stu got things.
Ice Cube is part of Brooklyn nine nine. But you're worried there's a bunch of people out there going, hey, is that the guy from Brooklyn? Nine nine like know and all these family movies.
I don't know what you're talking about. You got it wrong. I don't think Ice Cube is part of Brooklyn nine nine and Brooklyn nine nine isn't family movies. So I don't know what you're doing there.
Well, Ice Cube is a part of Brooklyn. I know. And he's been in a couple of episodes of Brooklyn. I know. But are you concerned that, like, that's there's a generation of people who just don't know who Ice Cube is?
That's not a butt. OK, never mind. We'll move on show. Nobody wanted to help me. This segment. We will move on.
Billy, shoot me and Terry Crews, two gods, no dog ice cubes. Been a couple of episodes of Brooklyn. I know, but. Yeah, you're telling me. Yeah. Uh huh, yeah. I was in it.
I think he's he's only credited as a writer. I haven't seen every episode of Brooklyn 99 nine, but I'm trying to figure out what you were doing.
Get me wrong, Dan does nothing right for thirty seconds. Who is the comedian? Is it James Mulvaney? How do you pronounce his John Mulaney? There you go. Thank you, John. Mm. Yeah, yeah. That's a bad find. Wow. Everybody started shaking their head. He's arguably the most popular comedian right now. James Mulvaney. Is he the most put it on the podium is John Mulvaney, the most popular columnist, my comedian.
Get it together. Excuse me, comedian. My bad Dan has another rough thirty seconds.
You saw Jay Glazer said dolphins are in talks on talks on Jay Glazer. And then Armando Salguero says dolphins have had no talks on Kendon, on Kendall Drake.
What Kenyon Drake is where you want me to burn that we trade we're to trade on Jay Glazer. And then I think we're getting two rappers in return.
You got calls, AJ, from the Backstreet Boys, Al.
And finally, Ryan Gosling was neighbors with Backstreet Boys member Al MacLane in the 90s.
AJ Yes. What did I say? Al Sorry about that, Al. McGlade It'd be a whole different story if one of the Backstreet Boys was named Al.
It's a capital J. Roy, listen, the vision is going on me. I don't know what to tell you. Again, I haven't read these in a while. I mean, you know, I think it's mccleen, too. I think McClaine McLean Tomato Tomato Sauce, McLean on the night age.
He made them out. McClaine It's not even a big name like my God.
You're right. You're right. You're right, A.J. They're both in caps.
They are. They are both in caps, Al.
Loaded, loaded category. Strong, strong start. We were bad this year paying the man his money. That pandemic really got us.
It's your apartment speaking and I need some favors when you're singing in the shower, just try going up a key.
You're trying to be an alto when really you're a soprano. Oh, and if you could bundle your renters and car insurance with Geico, it's easy to do online and we could save money.
And then when you read your murder mysteries at night, could you read out loud but skip the murder parts because I get scared.
Geico for bundling made easy. Go to Geico Dotcom today.
Kyle Brandt will join us in moments to go through historically the most attractive calves in the history of male athletic body parts as we continue to objectify. He'll be here in a second. But first, I'm sorry, Christine Lacy, I interrupted you.
And finally, the people they don't like, but Ron McGill will be joining us here at 11:00 Eastern to ask him questions about things like that.
Christine, you are a 20 year veteran of professionalism around here. You are somebody to be celebrated at every turn for your pillar of being Polish. Can you tell me, are you afraid still of the name Antetokounmpo? Yes. Yes, more than a little. I'm not. Thank you. My father just called him the alphabet, if you ever want to do that. Yes. Thank you for being on with us. We appreciate it. Kyle Brandt is with us.
We have fallen in love with him. He is the host of NFL Network's Good Morning Football. It airs daily, 7:00 a.m. They have a lot of fun there. It's the way that I would like to see more studio shows, sort of chuckle fests like actually enjoy each other's company. Also, 10 questions with Kyle Brandt podcast available, Spotify and YouTube. Before we get to the silly with you, Kyle, and thank you for joining us again.
Can you answer a serious question that I had earlier in the show? Explain to me how football with the advanced metrics measures Jadeveon Clowney now in terms of value when sacks aren't there, but he gets to the quarterback very fast on average. So, like, how are we supposed to do the math when Jadeveon Clowney, to measure what he's worth, has to fire his agent and sign a one year deal?
Well, you go to the origin story has to do with all superheroes then. And remember Jadeveon Clowney? We first learned his name. First time I ever heard it was he was trending on Twitter for what he did against Michigan in a bowl game in South Carolina. That's what the Davian clan is going to bring you. The one play about every forty or fifty snaps that makes everybody's head explode. So the amount of times that you see a Davion Clowney trended on Twitter probably misspelled.
That's how, you know, you got the return on your investment. That's really the only state that matters for him.
I, I don't think that is the way the NFL is doing the measurements on what I just really was. A good answer was it was it was okay, I'll accept it. What are the most attractive Cavs in the history of Cavs?
Yeah, I'm thrilled to be back here with the latest installment in our series of male body part objectification. If anybody missed it, the guys and I talked about jaw lines, chins and triceps. And I'm thrilled that today is Kath Day. I'm going to start right off the bat. A personal note then. I met my wife in 2008 on Match.com and on Match.com. We thought a profile. They asked for what you consider your most attractive feature. I put down carbs for my most attractive feature and it worked.
And I have two children now and a ten year marriage. So Cavs are really important to me, which is why I'm thrilled to say that some of the best Cavs right now are a guy you might not expect. Great Cavs on Julian Edelman. Just fantastic. Wow, ray type Cavs. And you know what? He knows it, too, because if you look at Edelman during pregame, when he goes out in a sleeveless shirt and his headphones, he rolls his socks down.
They're always down. So they're down so he can show off the merchandise. Great Cavs. And he knows that if you guys ever notice No.
Eleven Cavs, that might just look them up and it looks not suitable for work. Mike's reactions are amazing and it's great analysis by you. That's why he wears the pants the way he does on Sunday. He is showing those guys actually.
So, yes, that's another one. A younger player, much younger wide receiver. Now, I'm going to throw out the name DK Metcalf. Now, his body is the Luv, but I've done a lot of field work on this. His his Cavs are the Mona Lisa and he actually has a calf in his name. So I give extra points for that extra point. It could be anybody but his calves. They're exquisite. Thank you.
So how about do we have history? Are we going anywhere in history that rival these two that you've offered?
Yes, we are. And in a prior installment, I nominate. At Alonzo Spellman for triceps, I countered with, OK, well, how about Alonzo Mourning and you guys felt very strongly that he should be categorized in the calf section of this competition. So I would ask you, why did you feel so strongly about Zo more than being in calves?
Because there was this one time many, many years ago, a fight on the court where Jeff Van Gundy ended up on Alonzo Mourning Calf and Jamal Mashburn was on his side on the court, had been knocked over. And he said while watching it through all the splayed legs, he saw one set of legs that looked like a horse's, and it was because it was Alonzo Mourning.
It's a great answer. It's an incredible image, as if he was wrapped around a redwood tree. And I would also submit to you then that era of NBA basketball with a golden era of Cavs, because the shoes were really tall and the shorts were really long. So if the Cavs were cropped beautifully, almost like on Instagram, the hamstring and the ankles got none of the attention. The Cavs looked gorgeous in that era of shorts and shoes. And so I think this morning has to be on it.
And I would end guys with if you set you ass for historical, I give you historical great set of Cavs on Teddy Roosevelt.
Look it up out here. I'm telling you, this gentleman looks like he could score 580, OK?
He wore that Knee-High boots, which pronounced the Cavs. And there's a picture if you Google Teddy Roosevelt in shorts, there's a picture of him where he looks absolutely shredded and he's got great laughs.
All right. Put it on the podium. But, Joe, are you stunned to learn that Teddy Roosevelt had historically great care?
He's right. He's right.
What a great thing to learn as football returns on Thursday and we always go, Branestawm, what are you doing with us tomorrow? What body part are we doing tomorrow?
Well, I hate to admit it out loud then, but at some point this thing has to come to a head and we we got to start talking about butts. Right. And if I don't even know where it's going to go when you say the great athlete, but a couple of names come to mind for me, but I think I'm going to save it. We should we have the grand finale tomorrow. Do you save that?
Well, I don't know if you want to do beautiful faces. I don't know if I don't think feels like he's trying to get rid of us. You might be done with this. You might be done with it.
Like, I don't like the faces. I like the pure meat market factor. I don't even need the face of the body parts from the neck down abs shoulder.
We've done neck. We've done neck. Right.
We done. And we've done that because we did the spikes and pawpaws. Lesnie, one of your listeners sent me the Google metric screen cap of pawpaws. Lesnie searches and it skyrocketed. Fifty thousand percent mentioned we because we brought them up for neck and jaw. He was in two categories. Hi.
I'm going to be honest. I'm looking at you. And I think your best trait is your biceps, not your calves. Your calves are a little I don't know, they're but skimpy. Your biceps, though o whoa.
Complex life with the cavewoman. And if you want photo evidence that my calves are not skimpy, I'm happy to send it right now. It's no problem. That's the only kind of picture I'll send you guys. But I got it.
Send it to me now. Do you want to do brains. Do you want to do personality. Do you want to do dongshi. How about listen we could do if you want to go above the neck we could do fullest lips, we could do the deepest eyes. Maybe you ask the listeners, I don't know all I know I'm no Teddy Roosevelt stemming from the knee down. Well we don't want to get rid of you though. We don't want it to end.
Do we want to continue through at least the entire football season? Let's do it.
Let's do this is a good one. There's a meaty one. Let's do thighs. Yes, let's do thighs. Because then we can go soccer. We can go. Wow, there's a lot of places to go with us. Arauca.
I can't wait. Thank you for being on with us any time. It's always a pleasure. So I'm in the picture. So football is here in two sleeps, Mina Kimes, there can be no greater birthday present for Mina. This is her birthday today. Got up then finding out that football is right around the corner. Let's wish her a happy birthday and our unique way.
Happy birthday to her. I don't care. Good luck.
And you're celebrating today by just snorting football. I'm taping NFL life in a couple of hours and then taping my football podcast and then doing another football podcast later, so just give me a great first day.
So, yes, you're snorting football. Yes. And you wouldn't have it any other way because you're a crazy football lunatic. But the reason we'll get you out of here in a second. I just wanted to understand the clowning thing. How do these people measure what this guy is worth? Is the better measurement Saxa is the better measurement, how fast you get to the quarterback, which he does, you know, faster and all but four guys in the league.
Yeah, well, actually, his pressure rate has been not superlative in terms of like categories and getting to the quarterback, he beats his blocker really quickly. But the correct answer is you should really be looking at both. Right, because there are guys in the NFL who get sort of AntiSec. They get a lot of they want. And when you look at their hurrican, their pressures are not that much larger than the number of sacks they get, which is usually a way of predicting regression.
And then there are guys like Clowney who are good in some metrics. He's a terrific run defender, obviously disruptive, but it doesn't translate into production in terms of bringing down the quarterbacks. So you want someone like unknowns, ingenuousness, austere, who can do both. And he just didn't do that, which is something you really heard around the NFL. Right. Like this wasn't just one team passing on Clowney at 60 million plus. It was every team in the league who felt the same way.
The it would my logic be flawed if I said game planning around his disruption is a new kind of offense where everyone's releasing the ball inside of three seconds doesn't stop other guys from getting sacks, but might explain why he seems so disruptive to me and then only ends up with three three sec primary when he seems so disruptive that he has these like game stand where he's the best player on Earth.
Right. Like that San Francisco game last year, which was in primetime, everybody watched him completely destroy worlds in that game. But then there are games where he does kind of disappear and he doesn't look as disruptive. And it's, you know, at 10 a.m. Sunday game. Well, so it's hard because I think we think of his highlights. We think of the hit from college. We think of the wild card game two years ago against Oakland when he took over that game, when, in fact, the consistency isn't quite there.
And when you talk to you, you know, offense to play, call is around the league. They're not as worried about him as they are about a guy like, you know, I mentioned Smith or a Myles Garrett, for example.
I mean, thank you for being on with us. And again, happy birthday, catcher on NFL Live today, beginning at 4:00 p.m..
Thank you. Bye, guys. So, yeah, I'm confused, I have no idea of clown is good. I mean, I don't know. Well, I believe her either way, because if you're watching any of this NFL analysis, that is stronger analysis and stronger explanation than most people can give you on football when it comes to making some of these just very difficult. Value measurements like, I don't know, that's Clowney is almost to me among anyone I've seen in that sport, the guy that confuses me because I feel like my eyes might be lying to me.
I don't understand how the NFL passes on this guy. I don't Cleveland made a big offer to him. But the NFL essentially passes on a guy that I feel like when I'm watching games seems awfully disruptive to me. But yet Kyle Brandt and me are both telling you those are the plays that stand out. It's why people think of Clowney, because you get these one or two or three or four mesmerizing plays.
But it's not about him getting to the quarterback on a consistent basis or it's a guy who won a certain amount of money and just couldn't get it from from all these teams. I think the Browns made that offer, as you mentioned. Obviously, he landed with the Titans. Several other teams were interested and he wanted a certain amount of money. I think it was north of twenty million dollars. The teams were like, no.
Well, his agent must have advised him, given that he got rid of his agent, that he was going to get that kind of.
We're also looking at him one way. Historically, I don't know how he did last year, but he was actually a really good run stopper. He always is a good run. Yeah. And that and that the run is obviously devalued in the NFL. It's more of a passing league now, especially with the newer rules. But he's like saying I'm a total package here. I'm not just your feared pass rusher. That seems like a creative player in Madden, if you had all the attribute points.
But I'm a good run sleeper, too.
I was stunned, though, to learn. Is the stat correct? Because I kept reading it this weekend that he had three sacks last year, that that's not like that's not production.
That is if we're just bottom line it. Bill Parcells, don't tell me about the labor. Show me the baby.
Like three sacks is not it's not someone any of us would consider a you know, an elite pass rusher would have been nuts with him and Myles Garrett, though ages.
There's a race. I mean, Ron McGill joins us next.