Yeah, they're going to be some changes around here beginning on Monday, this is our final noon hour on the radio. ESPN has released some of the information. We are going to be a podcast entity that is in your life a little bit more than it used to be.
More podcast hours at your disposal and we will be on 10 to one no, I'm sorry, 10 to noon Eastern. And also, Stewart is losing his sports flashes because it does not live up to ESPN's brand standard.
Yeah, I am going to tell you and I'm sorry about that, ESPN Monday at noon. I don't think I'm going to get out of his seat. I agree. He wants to talk to me. I will be here for him. I just I want Mike to know that I am not giving this up without a fight. And if he needs me to be here, I will be here for him and be here for him. If he comes to me, I will have some I will have some heartaches for him.
But we are going to do more digital. But I am torn down because I'm upset about this noon hour. I enjoyed the noon hour. It was my favorite hour in large part because the last hour I had to speak to you that that was it. Wow.
OK, very good. So it just sort of got you into your weekend. Why don't you call Greenberg and ask him if you could be a part of his very first segment on Greaney in The Wienie? Why don't you see if he debuts his new radio career sans Mike Golic, willing to just sit around with you taking your hotcakes? I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing the stage with you.
I'm sure he does. Mind or else he would have asked me to share the stage with him and he is not. But that will not prevent me from sitting here and being a lifeline for Grady in the event that he needs me. Assuming that we're not doing anything after the show, which I think we are, because I have this feeling that I'm going to be doing more work, not less work. The feeling I am starting to get around here, that's fine.
Well, the tension is going to be that we are going to try to get you to do more work. And what that's going to result in is a lot more lies and a lot more slippery and a lot more you trying to get out of doing that. More work, Mike. I don't know how you do it. I really don't.
You've been dealing with this dynamic of trying to corral the dishonest and fundamentally immoral student into more work for a long time. And every time we talk about what we're doing beginning Monday, Stewart is talking about the ways he can do less work.
It's amazing that I still do this. It's amazing that I'm still surprised by it. I was doing the math. I'm inching towards two decades of doing this with two guards. Yeah, all year.
Have we been on the air.
We got should we take advantage of some point like write down when we started this so we could celebrate in a really self-absorbed fashion our twenty year anniversary you guys started, I want to say a year and a half, maybe two years before I jumped on, I jumped on as an eighteen year old boy as an intern. I'm now a thirty four year old who just moved into a single family home with his baby. And I get to say things that sound weighty, like my two decades in this industry and surprise people that get like thirty four.
Are you trying do I go for some sort of my twentieth anniversary? There should be a big celebration. I'll tell you also what's right around the corner. This is how long you and I have been doing this together is the Radio Hall of Fame. You and I should be walking into that Hall of Fame together. I think someone needs to nominate us. I'm not certain who's going to be willing to do so. It can't be me. We can't be you.
But someone will start again to God says lost his sports updates because they do not live up to ESPN's standards. He is taking that and wanting to parlay it into the Radio Hall of Fame.
I mean, you do have a Hall of Fame career, though. Look at the recent resume booted from the station we kept afloat for so many years, kicked off a local our forced into a digital exclusive property, this national show that's wildly popular, especially when you talk about podcasts that cut an hour and now some shots fired from SportsCenter anchoring. Man, that sounds like a Hall of Fame career to me.
I they're trying to shrink everything that is around us and we will continue to churn out the nonsense. I do want you to take some inventory, though, of the fact that after everything that just happened in America, this is the show that gets cut by a little bit because they want to get back to the scores and highlights, scores and highlights after everything that just happened in America. Please, dear God, let it be about. Pause and highlight the tape.
Look, I'm I don't have to be happy about this decision. I have the kind of mentality that you would want from an employee not take this news. Well, so, yes, the show keeps shrinking, but Dan keeps growing, everybody. That's right. Ice cream for breakfast.
That's right. A plus to 60 in my fight against Dana White. That's not the betting odds. That's the weight advantage.
You see you guys look at it your way and I look at it my way, OK? They have turned since we started at ESPN and they have turned this radio line up over two or three times. And the show that is still standing, it's not standing for as long as it used to stand, but it's still standing nonetheless. At two hours a day is the day I left Georgia with the guys and that it has to have some value if it's still here after two complete turnarounds of the radio lineup that we're still here in some form or fashion.
Again, not as long, but it's still two hours. But we must be pretty good at what it is we do. And therefore, I would like sort of ESPN to get us into this all.
Again, the sports updates have been taken away from you because they don't live up to the standards of the brand. You say we're still standing. I would argue that we're standing less than we used to because we were as a show kneeling. And now what you have happening is I just need a chair. I just they need to wheel me in here and pull a chair up so that we could weese our way through this and fight the power from inside the machine.
But I do want everyone listening to my voice right now to take inventory of what just happened in America noon Eastern beginning Monday. Mike Greenberg, I just want you to absorb that. Just let it sink in scores and highlight.
But he is an actual Hall of Famer. Yes. Instead of two dudes playing about the hole. That is correct. And August 17th is the official. OK, enough with this exhibition games. He has some games have meaning, some games don't. NBA playoffs are here. Full sports, full new lineup. And I get it, man.
I get it. I don't have to be happy about it. But let's you think that this is still portrayed publicly as a loss, Dan, because I know that that was a narrative and we're trying to spin it here. No, no, no. It's the same amount of show. In fact, more show. We're giving you more latitude. How about that?
And I just saw a press release, Dan, featuring a quote from somebody I haven't spoken to in years, making it seem like it was all their idea. This is a win publicly. Again, Dan, is it? It's a win. How did it become a more Batard there, like the second most popular sports podcast according to something that they cite? I mean, I am excited about this because finally the conversation started nationally about, hey, these guys are pretty good on one specific platform.
Well, let me hear let me hear that press release. Now, since we haven't gotten any of the advertising we were promised the last couple of years, let me hear some of this advertising that we now have for the growing Dan Levitas show on podcast. What its second rate ad. Why are we the second rated podcast? What happened?
According to Poltrack podcast category, audience rankings in July 2020 with a unique monthly audience. Dan, which is Advanced Metrics? Yeah, we put up the counting stats because we put out five episodes a day. Yeah, we kind of game the system, but also we do a lot more work than our competitors in the podcast game. Suus but unique audiences, Tony, you know, you can't fake that because that's an individual person listening. And guess who's number two in the nation.
And that's right. You and Stu got a Chris.
Chris, what's happening? You're making faces. You think we sound bitter? Bitter.
That's what I'm trying to get across. I mean, a bit repetitive. I feel like we've been saying the same thing for a couple of weeks now. Like I like Mike said, I get it. I mean, this is a cup of tea that is not for everybody. I get it. And so you understand.
Yeah, it's OK.
You understand both sides, but we're number two. It seems to be for a lot of people. I mean, we're number two. We are not to old done. We are not too.
I've always said that about us. We are number two. Where the hell did that Sean Connery impersonation come from?
As in the trailer from entrapment? I've never actually seen it happen, but I've seen the trailer like seventy five or ten. It's great. When YouTube became a thing, the twelve year old Miranda, it well it was older, but like in my body I was like twelve year old man that needed to see the entrapment trailer once again because of the laser scene. We all hold on a second.
Hold on. I just realized why it is. We're going to Mike Greenberg and scores and highlights. I'm pretty sure that that Sean Connery impersonation, the last time I thought of Sean Connery, we had Sebastian Bach on with us. And we did nothing but take calls for him and for him from Sean Connery, impersonators from around the United States. We absolutely deserve all the elves we can take. Think about that for a second. That is not what you will be getting on Monday.
Sebastian Bach. And he never talked to us again because he was furious that we wasted his time.
And it was weird because you told him, talk to you tomorrow and we just playing for him again and again. Callers doing Sean Connery impersonation. I wanted to actually have a serious Sean Connery conversation. Cameron Diaz just retired from acting and didn't just retired.
Sean Connery get out at the right time. Google it. All right. Let's get back to that. We're going to get back to that coming up next.
Oh, you know, you better go.
Somebody might there. And he did the spots away from us. I mean, they already responder's those fun. Oh, no. Money's disappeared. It's just becoming sad.
ESPN Radio is presented by progressive insurance, if you missed any of the show, you can listen to all three hours of the day on Lebedko plus our Miami only our. And for the final time, our best, the podcast on demand in the ESPN app and subscribe to the Libertador Friends podcast network featuring SBT session stupidity and mystery. Great, please rate and subscribe. New episodes are posted every week, wherever you get your podcast.
The latest mystery crate goes over any hardcore fans of this show, what they want to know about what is coming next, which will include next week, we're already organizing its dugouts. We're going to watch a Heat playoff game with the audience. We're already getting ready to do that in the next week as part of everything that's going to change around here beginning on Monday. But with this last hour of noon radio here, I would like to take fake Sean Connery call seven, eight, six, four or five, six eight three seven is the telephone number.
If you've got a fake Sean Connery anywhere in America that you think is good enough, preferably a limited fake Sean Connery, it's the best kind of Sean Connery. Many of you fall apart with that one. The impersonation needs to go further. But seven, eight, six, four or five six four eight three seven is the telephone number if you have a fake Sean Connery. But what I was saying is some actors just disappear with age. Sean Connery, Gene Hackman, they don't announce a retirement, they just vanish and it's usually older.
The thing that Mike was referencing earlier about Sean Connery is Sean Connery just said, I think right before he retired and having nothing to do with retired publicly said, yes, sometimes you just have to hit a woman. I think he told Barbara Walters that. And so anyway, so Sean Connery vanishes without very much fanfare because I'm guessing he's in his late 80s at this point. But Cameron Diaz Stewart went away at a much younger age. He's been basically retired since two thousand and fourteen.
And she was telling Gwyneth Paltrow, quote, I decided that I wanted different things out of life. I finally was taking care of myself. Actors are infantilized. We were put in a position where everything is taken care of for us.
Did you know that Cameron Diaz had retired?
No news to me. Sean Connery is 90, by the way. I mean, yes.
So if you have a fake Sean Connery, we've got Rob Schneider in about ten minutes. But if you have a fake Sean Connery that is worthy of air. We're putting a lot on Mike because we're in a pandemic and we're in an abandoned hotel. And Mike Ryan is taking calls and producing the show. And there's no one else here.
Yeah, I'm running a lot right now. The call screener isn't working, so I can't really, truly screen these calls to see if they're good or not.
So I'd just be doing it blind. Well, that I mean, they're always terrible. So we'll just take our chances and we'll try to do what you just want you just want to do it. Because right now, like someone, the first call that I got is like, yeah, hey, I got a fake duff man. I'm like, yeah, it's like the is instructional. But Chris can take Chris. Chris, you're the call screener around here usually, but you're not here.
It's it's the worst job you have here. Right. You don't have a worse job than that. It's like the janitor who shows up and there's barf and poop all over the floor. Like that's that job around here. The call screener. Right.
I am enjoying my Grion having to do this today. I am just watching him struggle. And this is this is great.
I'm enjoying you from the comfort of your own home on my lunch. My lunch just arrived. Very good.
Thank you, Chris. We're always assuming that about you, you know, always arriving. You need not say it. It's a bit of a redundancy. So we will see what happens with the calls and the limited fake Sean Connery.
Maybe we'll sprinkle some in with Rob Schneider. But we have not talks to God somehow this deep into the show about how the Seattle Seahawks waived rookie cornerback Keema Sciver end earlier this week after he was caught on video trying to sneak a woman into the team's hotel. The NFL Network first reported the circumstances of his release, noting that the woman. Was wearing Seahawks gear in an attempt to disguise herself as a player. This is amazing, you guys, as a story like you're talking about costing you a possible career and obviously they wouldn't have done that to a first round pick, but you broke the pandemic protocol so much that you're finding yourself in a position where they have to make an example out of you in the most embarrassing way possible.
Right. You wonder how much of of that type of stuff is is going to go on and continue. But I do find that portion of it funny. It really depends on your value. I mean, the Seahawk player, if he does that, that has value to the team and is a big part of their offense or defense. You're not getting cut for that. He's just not having it. All right. Let's say we cannot screen these calls.
I do not have any names. So let's just start here before Rob Schneider, limited fake Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio.
Go ahead. Limited fake Sean Connery.
This I don't have a name here. They're all living in fake Sean Connery. No, but so they've got to start doing it wherever they are. You, sir, are on the line limited. Thanks.
OK, very good. Limited fake. Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio. Go. You cannot time the cloud removal limited fake Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio. Daniel, I didn't disappear into the abyss. I'm still here. That's a good one. Limited thing. Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio. There is one major difference between James Bond and me, he was able to sort out problems. I got better, but it was never good living in fake Sean Connery.
You're on ESPN Radio. Give me a damn thing, BATCHELLER, one thing only limited fake Sean Connery. You're on ESPN Radio.
You're the man now, dog Rob Schneider.
Rob Schneider going to join us in just a minute here on the show, Pennzoil Performance and here's your SportsCenter update. The Cardinals will resume their season tomorrow with a double header at the White Sox Arsenal outside midfielder Lelliott on a free transfer after his departure from Chelsea. William will play with the gunners after signing a three year deal worth a hundred thousand pounds. And finally, Egyptian fruit bats trade food for sex. Is that the final finally? Is that the final, the historic final final as two guards get stripped of his update duties because it did not?
Meet ESPN's brand standards. Yep, the finally and finally is Egyptian fruit bats trade food for sex. So do I. If you like me, you love a good stap, the ones that you probably don't know your vehicle's battery charge, that's why advance on a Barchas free vehicle, battery density and installation with no appointment, necessary adventure auto and advanced auto parts and participating Carquest locations see storage for details for all the latest headlines and information during the SportsCenter on ESPN Radio all throughout the day you eat fruit.
I know I heard food, not fruit. I actually heard trade, food, fruit bats, I don't think that they're scarfing down popcorn, OK?
I, I don't know what fruit bats. I don't. What does that even mean? What's a fruit bat. Fruit.
Fruit. Yeah. OK, well, so you made a fat joke. Yeah, that's what that was. All right.
So Rob Schneider is not to be found at the moment, which is not terrible news for this reason. More fake Sean Connery called seven eight six four five, six four eight three seven is the telephone number. If you want to bombard Mike Ryan with more call screening responsibilities as he tries to find Rob Schneider.
Oh, darn good news on the success of the last segment. I decided to change it up and not even say hello to these people. Just assume they had a Sean Connery, OK, they called, put them on hold and say hello. This is the kind of responsibility ESPN has come to a final hour from this show.
So we are reckless and irresponsible, always a little dangerous, usually off subject as the NBA playoffs are about to start. And we again, for, I believe now the historic one hundredth time in show history are taking limited fake Sean Connery calls seven eight six four five six four eight three seven is the telephone number.
I mean, on Monday, there's a good chance, you know, will probably have Sean Connery on the show. I mean, the actual Sean Connery. Yes.
Well, if you're happy doing this in the twelve o'clock hour, I'm sure Greaney will oblige on Monday to take your Sean Connery to you.
Is there any chance that you judge can you call Greaney this week and you make absurd asks? You have no shame when you say, hey, Greaney, can you pass the torch? Can we pass the torch publicly on Monday and have me in for your very first segment on the radio? Sure, I will.
I will reach out to tea during the show. In fact, I'll reach out to him right now and see what he says. OK, OK, let's go.
Let's reach out to him and see what he has to say about that. And in the interim, we will entertain you with what are usually pretty terrible, limited, fake Sean Connery calls. So let's begin here and this is tricky trepidation. I am scared right now this might not have any payoffs. We might just sink into four minutes of terrible radio that Stewart's believes should be in the radio hall of Fame. But here we go, limited fake. Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio.
All right, let me try this again, looks why he dressed the doctor. All right, that was a tough man. He finally got it right. That is terrible. Here's just a quick hint. Since everybody has the same name, if you hear limited fake Sean Connery and then on your phone line, you hear that means you're on.
Well, it doesn't even matter if you hear limited fake Sean Connery. Just do it in your car. So it's better by the time it arrives at my doorstep. Please just do it every time we say limited fake Sean Connery so you can perfected and get better at it.
That tough man is a resilient son of a gun. Oh, my God.
And he's terrible. Like, honest to God. Sir, what is the matter with you? You derailed our radio show while already derailed. Like we're already having trouble. We don't need your help getting in there with that tough man like it was a terrible man. Like he thought that was good. I'm sorry I sound so angry about this. I'm sorry about this. I'm texting granny. I mean, limited fake Sean Connery. You're on ESPN Radio.
We'll be weaning. All right, excellent work. These are the final three minutes of limited stage.
Sean Connery, I regret with great remorse that I went back to this bit where Rob Schneider. Chris.
I couldn't hear you. Your microphone is muted, Chris. You can try that again. Was just a total silence.
Sorry I couldn't get him hard on the board because Rob Schneider called and you're in luck, guys. He also has a limited. Oh, OK.
So Rob Schneider is now there. Chris, before we get to him. What were you calling what were you about to say, Chris, that we couldn't hear because your microphone was muted? I was saying this is not going well down.
Thank you. Would that be funny if your microphone had worked? All right. So Rob Schneider is with us now and he does voices. We learned this yesterday are a couple of days ago, weirdly. Absolutely.
Well, think about the bad Sean Connery impression was that think people just focus on the wrong path. And that is the simply slightly Scottish. That's not the most important part of doing a Sean Connery impression. The part of the Sean Connery impression is to do this slight Scottish drawl.
But that's what you need to stop. And, you know, I Sean Connery was like one of the first American wounded, first of America listening, one of the first, you know, Hollywood actors who like, you know, screwed up on TV, you know, like that with back in the late 70s. He said, I think he was Barbara Walters. And he said he said sometimes a woman needs to get hit. She likes to get hit.
She wants to show you. Just get a slap, not with or not with a closed fist couldn't an open first. And then she basically will go off and make you some coffee and go on with their day. It's kind of a resetting of her as like what?
Well, he survived it. He said it. And he Sean Connery and the James Bond thing in the history of James Bond, he somehow managed to escape.
I don't know if he really got through it. I mean, I think he ended up I think I think he ended up being OK. But that was a tough one, you know what I'm saying? Like where that would have ended. You know, you do that today. Forget about it. You know, I mean, on Twitter, forget about it. It's on Twitter forever.
That is the truth. New standup special available now on Netflix. Right. Rob Schneider, Asian mama, Mexican kids. How's the feedback been?
It's been unbelievable. And there's you know, I've been doing press I used to was on Australia Morning Show, and I'm exhausted. But it's been unbelievable. You know, it's it's like the region wasn't like I was jinxing the world, but like I was kind of hoping that everybody would be locked in their homes and having to watch my show several months ago. And but and here it is. They have to. So, Rob, you made that joke last time you were on with us.
You're doing too many radio shows. You're doing comedy doing to me. Yes. Well, you made that joke the last time. It's a good joke, but you didn't get the laugh you needed from us because it's the same joke you made last time you were on. But that was it, really.
OK, I am doing too many shows, but let me do it. Let me let me try it again as Sean Connery.
The thing about it is, like, I was hoping that that would be a potential for people to be locked in their homes for a comedy special on TLT. And they were I hope I didn't jinx the world that you work better, Sean Connery, if you here the second time. All right.
We're going to talk to you on Monday. We ran out of time because you called late the alarm reminding people and late the alarm reminding you to be on with us with seven minutes.
Just heads up. If you're on the West Coast, it's going to have to be earlier because they're stealing this hour from us, which is a shame because it's been so good today.
OK, so, Rob, we got to talk to you on Monday again. Beyond that, Rob Schneider, here's what I'm going to do.
I'm just going to become part of your morning team. OK, that's what we're going for. Perfect. Yeah. Move in. All right. Very good. I'm going to say the same thing every morning on Friday.
I will wait all week and hear that same joke on Monday about Asian mama, Mexican kids.
Yeah, but if you haven't seen the show, you can watch it. And if you see the second time, you know, it's interesting. It's the same jokes a second time when you see that.
OK, so that's why I was doing it. Well, talk to you on Monday.
All right. I'm calling Monday. I'm going to call Tuesday to just to make sure I call it the red carpet.
Right. Great. Have a nice weekend. I wouldn't call it the right time. All the best to you guys from I wish you the best. And remember, if you're going to hit a woman U.S. Open.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not broadbrush. How Miami is this stuff got our club over the years, we've been opening a club at the end of the week, headed into the weekend, we've been opening a club earlier and earlier. It used to be for happy hour at seven p.m. Eastern Time. And now this is the last one that will be at about 1:00 p.m. Eastern time, 10:00 a.m. on the West Coast next week.
When we open the club, we will be doing so at 9:00 a.m. at 9:00 a.m. on the West Coast. And that's very Miami's Miami or Miami in Vegas. The only places that have these all night clubs, the clubs that go of 24 hours, or is that something that appears outside that is legal?
Outside of Miami, there's the city that never sleeps down.
But I, I don't think New York closes. I don't I mean, you might have underground stuff. It's a really unfortunate nickname then, right?
I think New York has those clubs. The more underground, as you pointed out, I would assume L.A. probably does right now.
The exact opposite of that. Yeah. I mean, there closes early out there.
You got to go to a house party in the hills. Wow.
I got in there really fast to show off his L.A. expertise in a way that was uncomfortable. And he did it in the most obnoxious L.A. way possible.
You did. When did you become a guy, L.A. guy? I don't know.
I kind of was annoying myself from, like a local area. So I'm just like full bore right now.
OK, so how do you want to do this? Let's do this to close this out because we got the club. Can you handle all of this club? And fake Sean Connery is on the line right now. OK, we're going to do both of these. We're going to mix them together at Leadbeater, our show on the polls if you want to get in on the polls. But let's go ahead and open it for the weekend. Let's open up the club.
So you think you're going to be able to do this? There's a degree of difficulty here. You're in the production studio by yourself. You've got to play sounds, you've got to take calls. The calls have been pretty mostly miss, hit or miss and mostly miss listeners.
If you can keep it clean for me and just know that when Dan says limited fake Sean Connery and you hear a coach, you're up.
OK, Chris has no confidence. He is moving away from his microphone and staring at us, laughing because he knows this is going to fail.
Now, what I'm doing is I'm kicking my feet up and just going to relax this segment while Mike works, OK?
Yeah. You don't want to be the call screener on this. What you have for lunch.
Oh, firehouse. Yeah, good work. All right. What's the first sound in the club? Kato who gets a touchdown pass is Kevin Johnson put up two hundred seventy two yards. That's a martial record. Nothing to sneeze at. So finest moment to sneeze.
His best broadcasting moment. Who else in the club?
Excuse me, that is Bomani Jones doing a segment choking on something and shouting to his producer. Shannon, help me.
I'm good. I'm got cut down my throat. Sorry about that, Brian.
In the meantime, I love that. Who else is in the club?
I thought you were going to mix in a fake shot right there. You are a limited fake Sean Connery. You're on ESPN Radio Ltd, fake Sean Connery.
Well, well, world arbitrage and stuck much shorter to hear about your shoulder being shorter.
Show and watch who else is in the club, the foreign player. Dontae, I can't I don't think he's a foreign player either. Ouch.
Oh, Chris roaring with laughter with his feet up in the breath of a hogy.
Oh, who else has a feel playing in empty arenas not playing in front of fans. No.
I forgot all about that. TJ Warren hung up on us. Did we ever find out whether he was mad at us. No. OK, very good. I've limited fake Sean Connery.
You're on ESPN Radio guy one store.
You really got screwed by that Greenberg fella.
Who else is in the club?
TJ Warren on any given night can light you up for forty five point.
Yeah. Who else is in the club?
That is a funny and introspective man right there. Like he is interesting. I know a lot of different levels.
I petered out well in the club. Yes. Oh yes.
That is, of course, Stewart's earlier this week actually farting on air and us pretending that it was him rushing into the Zoome and sitting in a chair with limited fake Sean Connery.
You're on ESPN Radio.
Go ahead. Limited fake Sean Connery. Rasheed Wallace.
Oh, man, that was good, but it was not a good one. Sean Connery, you're on ESPN Radio.
But I'm a front runner. It's nothing about me. OK, terrible.
Let's go. Somebody make this a off. Let's go. Limited fake Sean Connery. You're on ESPN Radio.
The name is on Connery. And I just want to know what kind of guys like Bond and be admitted into the Hall of Fame.
Limited fake Sean Connery closes down with a laugh. Let's go. A lot of pressure.
No name was actually Shibulal. I must be dreaming Yo stank.
All right, so there was a degree of difficulty and everything that was happening in that last hour. It's a lot of ask. Roy has done it very well. Billy has done it very well. Mike has done it very well. But it's a lot of ask to ask the producer of this radio show to do everything in that studio that is usually done by many, many people. So the end of the show and I haven't felt quite like that, Mike, since the Menagh kind zip line where I'm just pushing on something for forty five minutes that I don't have a lot of confidence is going to work, but I'm trying to get the big finish where you get the laugh going into the weekend and we failed pretty abysmally there.
So did we have to dump the last caller or what happened. Yeah.
Look, Pussy Galore contextually is fine, I guess, especially if you're doing Sean Connery, but I don't feel like taking the risk. So our final act in the 12 o'clock Eastern hour was a bad joke that got dumped anyway. So dumping something was the final act. All right.
Well, let's do better here then, because let's do better. Here is a promise that beginning on Monday, we're going to be giving you a lot of different stuff and we're going to be in on the local our means to gods. We're going to do these post game shows. And so what they're taking away from us in that hour on terrestrial radio, if you're someone who consumes this this way, where it's only the podcast, it's not the radio, then you're going to get a whole series of secret language and jokes and funny and inside of show.
That is going to be your secret. Check out the latest mystery create if you want to know what it is we're going to be doing starting Monday.
And I'm going to try and fail to not sound like a pompous asshole here when I say this. But when you say if you digest the podcast, I mean, many people do. It's the second most of any sort of sports show in terms of listening to podcasts and a unique audience in terms of total number of people that are listening, second biggest in America. So I think the vast majority of our audience is going to be pretty psyched about what's coming their way.
On August 17th, mission failed. I could not get through that without sounding like a pompous. Yes, that's true.
But you can't get through much of anything without sounding like a pompous a'hearn. So that's part of the problem.
But now you have time to to focus exclusively correct. On the Sean Connery calls. Do you guys want to keep doing Sean Connery calls about how do you feel in general about how this is going?
I felt good about the first three and I did not feel good about the second batch because I don't think we can add like that. I think we need to go forward. Who is the number one package? You could say we're number two. Is that stupidity?
It's not it's not stupidity. I was asking, OK, just just curious.
How do you feel really? Can we get into this for a second? We really like those sports flashes. We love doing them, loved writing them, love squeezing the content out of it. The real true story here for the audience. This is not made up. Stewart actually said at one point I could do these updates better than anybody in America because Stewart's is a radio professional who vastly overestimates himself at every turn. And so at the beginning, he actually tried to do it.
And I believe, Mike, and I think you would do that if Stewart's life depended on it or if doing those was something that he actually cared about or he read beforehand, or the only job he had was update guy. My guess is he would live up to the ESPN standard, be good enough to keep that job forever. I would think he would be good at it if he actually applied himself.
No, no. Because I remember back in the early days when he was trying to prove a point. Weren't you writing them out yourself? Sigurdson They still like he would still flub them, even though he was the one that was reading the lines. Now he's just so lazy. He's reading it for the first time. And that's where most of the trouble is.
Yeah, the greatest to do it of all time is the make man, John Makow Giesler WFA. And he was my professor at the Connecticut School Broadcasting Deluce. I learned from the best from Bob Duesler what evidence that investors that make is number one. And I tell you, when I was writing them, I would just write the scores of a couple of notes and then just piece it all together. I'm good at that one I'm upset about is you guys came up with a formula that allows me to be really bad at delivering sports centers, and I think it fits within our show.
And the Phillies were something that people really loved. And so for that reason, I'm serious here. I, Roy, did a masterful job of putting it, stories I care about, names I couldn't pronounce. And I am I am sad to see those go because I think our audience actually grew to love books. I do.
OK, well, hold on just a second. The. Just real quick, who is the second best? You said update guy ever, what's his name? Bob Uslu.
All right, so you are going for Bob useless, right? That's what you were going for and you achieved it. It was successful and we loved it, but evidently ESPN didn't love it. So you tell me what happened, Mike. You couldn't find the loser game show to make my job even harder today. The right side of my board got fried because Danny, God bless him, stage director here, who is also doing all the TV stuff by himself.
It's hard, but when an audio or anybody says, hey, you have this problem, he has a habit of just turning off an entire board and it sends a power surge. Now, my thing is, Fred, excuses, excuses. But what is already a difficult job was made more difficult than I was trying to fire off the loser game show sound, which this week hasn't worked at all for anybody.
Right. OK, so there you go, Bob. Useless, I thought was a decent joke, but probably deserved the loser game show sound. But it gets me in the way of asking the question I was asking, which is do you actually find it insulting that they have said that the update does not live up to their standard and on Monday is being replaced? And I'm going to try and talk to Christine Lacy and see how we figure out something that makes it feel less, you know, prepackaged and, you know, silly radio from the 1950s.
I'm going to try and involve Christine Lacy in the show. She's been the update person around here professional since I was doing Sunday morning radio. So, like, we're going to figure out a way to include her in what we're doing that'll make it more fun and less antiseptic that what they're doing around here.
She's third all time on my list behind the make man, Bob Uslu. She's that good at it. I mean, useless. And she is so good at it that but then I am a little bit upset because I just feel like it fits our our show better the way we were doing the updates. But she'll do a fine job. She's professional. Listen, there's no there's nothing wrong with losing part of your responsibility to the third all time sports writer that is ever I mean, there is no shame in that.
So I and I will say that they don't get what I'm doing down here. And I don't think they really get what we're trying to do is go for it out here. I did hear back from Grady, by the way. If you guys want an update, hold on a second.
I want to hear what this exchange went like. I want to hear what it is that you wrote to him. And I want to get the whole back story on this, because on Monday, we lose an hour on terrestrial radio. That hour is going to Mike Greenberg. He is going to be on noon to two. And I was asking Stu, guys, hey, can you please call Greaney and see if he includes you? Just cross talk like pass the torch in the noon hour in his very first segment.
So what did you like then?
I said, Hey, Green Monday. If we can, I'd like to pass the torch to at noon your first hour. Feel free to say yes or something funny. I knew nothing funny was coming back. It was either going to be a yes or no. And so wait, wait, wait. You got can we, like, take guesses here? I'm guessing that he said maybe not the first show, but maybe we'll make it a Friday thing going forward or something along.
A good guess. A good a fine guess. But you were saying yes no. Or what option did you give him. What was the third option?
I said yes, no or something funny, knowing that nothing funny was coming back. So so that's that's and I got my response and I was right. But let's get you guys. Go ahead.
Well, I would guess the answer is just no. Yeah, I was going to say a humorless flat. Good. Good to hear from you. So you got to know if he adds to it. He adds like a how dare you?
OK, give me the response here, my man. I love you guys so much. But that first segment, I have so much stuff and I've been planning it out for years. I don't I don't believe that I did it. I do. I believe that he is playing his parts, unlike us, who are fly by the seat of his Arpad. I believe he has this first segment planned out and it's had to play that for years. But then he went on to say, I would love to have both of you guys any time you want, any day you want, for any sort of cross promotion on whatever you want, especially, you know, I don't believe that part because I think what he really meant was especially dad, what he has left an open invitation.
And boy, am I going to take about that or we should wait.
I'm sorry. On Tuesday, we should do the whole noon hour with him. We should just refuse or refuse to take you up on that.
Greaney weekdays, twelve o'clock Eastern beginning Monday. So Tuesday.
So what I want to know is how much does he have planned in this first segment?
It's only one segment, right? Like what is he going to have that's going to be so grand that there can't be any cross? Oh, he's for sure got jets, something jets related is going to be in this first segment. I love how Tony is so right. He's building up. I have so much planned. It's just going to be like Cowboys playoffs or not.
No, I think he starts it by saying what the show's going to be. It's a little bit of a monologue at the beginning. How happy is to be back on radio and whatnot.
He did say it's his first show in three years. So he's been thinking about this for a while and he does have an entire first segment planned. So maybe I've said, I'll stick around. I'll go with 12, 20, I guess.
All right. Remind me before we get out of here, please, to tell you the story involving Mike Greenberg that I need to tell. But before we get to that, you guys know that first segment, no matter how much radio you've done, no matter how much of a professional you are, you remember the very first one I did around here afterwards. I was practically hyperventilating both times. Both times we did a first segment, the first one on 790, the ticket where you guys put me in a room where I was like a monkey being stared at at the zoo with four hundred people filming everything we were doing.
And I couldn't catch my breath.
Yeah, you kicked me out of the studio. You did it alone. Did not help that our owner had nine cameras right in your face.
So that time. But was that is bad. Remember, you were the all star when we replaced Colin Cowherd that first week. I was a mess. I wasn't any good. And coming right out of the box. You were strong and I was terrible.
I do remember that. Yes, you were very, very nervous for some reason. It was it was weird. And I had never been more relaxed.
Which one do you think greening will be? Green is a maximum professional.
Green is greening has the rare ability to be nervous, but you would never have any idea that he's nervous at all. I mean, I think it's very good at covering that stuff up, even if he is nervous without thinking.
Well, what do you think, Mike? Well, what do you what are you guessing is the first Mike Greenberg segment? Because it's got to be sort of a manifesto on what the show will attempt. Yeah, no.
Yeah, no, I remember he does that with any new show when get up launch. He did that on his podcast. I think it was called I'm Interested, launched initially like he did like a whole like this is what the concept is. So he'll lay out what the concept is and think. Second segment will fire up some Packers drafted Jordan Love. What does this mean for Aaron Rodgers? Fagots, are you willing to announce you've got Aaron Rodgers next week, right, you didn't you pin him down?
He's going to join us next week. Yeah, he will join us.
Tuesday will be we'll be taping with him on Tuesday. Very excited about that. I don't know with with our new formats and what we're doing. I'll leave it up to Mike as to where that thing is going to land and air, and I will distribute it. But we are indeed. You and I are taping with Aaron Rodgers on Tuesday and we got bonus stuff like extended time here. That's part of what you were talking about. We have some room to breathe and Aaron Rodgers would normally join us for ten to 12 minutes quickly during his lunch hour has given us, at least at this point, he said like, hey, twenty five, thirty minutes.
And no, I think we can get into a conversation with him that goes a long way because he'll be stimulated by the things we're asking him about going on in America as opposed like he doesn't actually want to come on here and talk about football. He never does.
The reason he does our show so often is because we're asking him about things other than Jordan loves passing time to be Aaron Rodgers with a famous ex girlfriend not naming him, but everyone assuming she might be talking about him because she said she was with somebody for years. I'm wondering how he how he is taking all that. But I also I don't want you to ask him and run the risk of ruining yet another relationship.
Well, then we'll love this. He will say, listen, I've done all the stuff that I know you guys don't want to do. I did it elsewhere. And so now I am ready for you guys. All right. So we'll see.
Hopefully we can have some fun with him. There's some tricky stuff in his family life that that is private. I just want to talk to the dude about his trust issues. Really. Right. Because I I'm interested in the psychology of this person. When we had Danica Patrick on, I don't know if we can cover this ground with him because they just broke up. But when we had Danica Patrick on, she I understood sort of what that relationship was doing for him because she had some profundity of spirit to her.
And she was really interesting and could dissect like she was just smart in terms of relationships and everything else. I'd like to talk to him about relationships, but my guess is he's terrified of being click baited. Like, my guess is that he doesn't trust people because of the stuff in his family, because all of his his relationships have been public and messy, because he's got a bad relationship with his brother. Like, I'd just like to talk to him about trust issues, because my guess is he's had some and now they get compounded by, oh, look, the organization that I've been so good to all these years, look at what they just did to me in the first round.
But we don't want that trust issues with you or this show. So we have this is a very fine line. We're walking here dead because I am telling you this, OK? I don't know how much he enjoys the media stuff. In fact, I don't think he really enjoys it at all. What he does and I know this to be a fact. He trust you. Don't trust me. Don't trust anyone else on the show. He trusts you to go down the right path with it.
So be very, very careful. No, I'm going to I'm looking for to you that just about well, I'm looking forward to this conversation.
I don't want to overpromise and deliver, but if it's a free flowing conversation, I have to worry about any of the clocks. I, I don't have to worry about anything. I could just talk to a dude about his life honestly and front end. Tell him, like talk to him about how much do you distrust that this is going to get turned into something else? Because I want to talk to you about the rich stuff, the deep stuff.
You know, he's got interesting things to say about what's going on in the country. Stick out like there's no way like he lives in such a tough spot. Right. Because he's he's Green Bay's quarterback, the publicly owned team in that part of the country. And he sides in the right place with this stuff as it regards Kaepernick. But taking a knee and all that stuff, he couldn't do that in Green Bay and they needed a quarterback. The Kaepernick calls before all this nonsense and everyone changed and corporations and all this.
He needed a white quarterback to support him with something more than just words. It's popular now. It's Vogue, and everybody's going to kneel next year and it's not going to mean the same thing at all. But Kaepernick, I bet you I bet you Aaron Rodgers had to consider in strong terms how and why to stand there as opposed to kneeling because of the consequences of you can't be the guy in that market at that position kneeling on a football field.
Even if you're the guy who wants to be kneeling on a football field, don't you think that he would have had to have considered that more than most quarterbacks, given what you've heard from him in terms of public comment?
Yes, but I also see a very concerned staff of ours here, like where they I think the feeling is you might ruin the relationship. Yeah.
And this would be so good for that digital. Only our two. And I know we get accused of being a marching band and nowhere, August 17th does seem like a like a big day. Can't get much worse of a name than the digital only hour. I should have gotten around to this, but I was too busy spending time with my baby.
OK, we need that by Monday. Thank you, Chris. By Monday we need to come. Up with a name for this that's better than the digital only. I feel like a good way to ask. I feel like the first quarter earned, Roger. Question and a question about all the serious stuff you just talked about, Dan, and it's all in one question, Aaron, do you love love? Why are you pressing buttons?
I haven't been working all week, it was because the garbage spike and because he's had issues with his family, that question works just for just think about it than I've already thought about it, 20 seconds more than I wanted to think about it.
I tried to hit the loser game show sound. It's still not work. I have more questions for you guys. Do we know as it relates to TJ Warren, as you guys. Are you guys feared that I would screw that one up, too? And do we know if I did screw up that relationship already with TJ Warren before the playoffs?
I haven't heard back, so I assumed that I only assume the worst now.
And yeah, but he hung up on Seagate's.
He didn't hang up on, you know, he hung up up dead. He did not hang up on you because you were the last question. We played it in the club. I needed to remind myself you went from his strongest ally to him hanging up on you.
OK, hopefully I don't ruin that relationship next week. But, Chris, I need I need you to do something for me, if you don't mind, because you seem to love these inside ESPN stories that I haven't told on the radio about Kornheiser picking up a landline and just screaming at an ESPN executive so-and-so here at the network is a troll. Get him off the air. I've got one for you. And I want you to remind me, I don't know if we can make it a weekly segment or something.
I've got one for you involving Mike Greenberg that I've never told on the air. It's an absolutely true story and it is at the pool.
OK, you're in Miami. He's not even the headliner in this story, right? No, he is not the headliner in this story at the W. pool. Now, I have had, I don't know, in my life with Mike Greenberg. Two or three total conversations off air, and this is the last one I had with him off air, and it's why I believe you, Tony, and I believe you still got when you say that Mike Greenberg has been preparing for years for this moment when he comes on the radio at noon Eastern, ESPN Radio's new lineup on Monday.
So Cristiano Ronaldo is there looking every bit as you went to the top of the food chain.
Yeah, this was this was this was a W pool party. OK, well, we're not very many people there, but Mike Greenberg and his entire family were there and they were very excited to be around Cristiano Ronaldo and this conversation. I don't remember whether it was it couldn't have been during a Super Bowl. This was years ago. I went to go see him. And I was just wondering, as a single man and he's a very married man.
I as a single man at the time, was just wondering if I could go see him by myself. But any situation that involved him had to involve his family. And so I had to go to this pool where his family was around Cristiano Ronaldo. And so Mike Greenberg, at one point in this conversation, and I would say it was 15 minutes total of a conversation, this is how the back and forth went. And I am not making anything up that I'm about to tell you.
Mike Greenberg says to me that I want he says, I want to write a book that people remember forever.
And my response, honest to God, around the pool was a very loud and incredulous, like the Koran, like, do you want to write a book that people remember forever, like like the Koran? That is what you are going to get noon Eastern. I don't want to put the expectations up too high. That is what you are going to get noon Eastern on Monday. Somebody this is going to be the greatest radio show. Unbelievable. It's going to cut us by two hours, go across eternity.