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You're listening to DraftKings Network. Spring.

[00:00:11]

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And it's all so close to home. Book your short break now at discoverNorther Ireland. Com. Northern Ireland. Embrace a giant spirit.

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This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

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I had a way that I wanted to start this that included Richard Lewis, thoughts on Richard Lewis, a friend of the show, and an assortment of other things that I wanted to talk about. But I was legitimately surprised right before we started today because a part of me I thought was dead until moments ago, until I saw it out of the corner of my eye. Thought it was dead. Thought this part of me as a sports fan had been buried, never to return. Out of the corner of my eye on one of the televisions, one of the televisions was a little bit brighter than all the others, not because they're any different in color and tint, but because of the amount of sunshine coming through one of the televisions that is in here, a brighter sunshine than anywhere else. I'm like, Oh, spring. The televised sports, pitchers and catchers I've reported. Ohtani has hard launched a wife this morning out of nowhere that none of us knew about.

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What? P's and C's.

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That's correct. I can't read the Japanese. Jeremy, help me here. You're fluent in Japanese, are you not?

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Yeah, for sure.

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The translation. To all of my friends and fans throughout, I have an announcement to make. Not only have I began a new chapter of my life with the Dodgers, but I have also began a new life with someone from my native country of Japan who was very special to me, and I wanted everyone to know I am now married. I am excited for what is to come, and thank you for your support.

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To whom it may concern.

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I mean, real amateur move, right? We just had Spolster in town sign an extension after he got divorced. Ohtani is doing it the other way. We Americans to have it all backwards.

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Or forwards.

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I mean, you- What do you mean me? What do you mean me? Did you forget- Speaker of truth, King. Yes, that's how I thought you're not supposed to do it as Tony. It's as a gacky. You got to do it as a gacky.

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Sometimes it's actually his thoughts, Dan.

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That one was me. But he can disguise them all as a gacky and protect the character.

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That one got through.

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The character of Tony. That's what I'm saying. It happens sometimes. It's a safe space for him.

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We created this device for a reason. Yes.

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I mean, so it could be slightly less of an echo chamber. We'll talk to you about Mitch McDonald in a second. Thank you. But I was legitimately surprised. I was legitimately surprised as I felt sunshine and warmth, and it reminded me of all those poetic columns that I wrote 25 years ago about how this time of year feels different when you're still living in cold places and the television is that bright. That's That used to be what Florida represented to people.

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The University of Miami's baseball team has started their season with 18 consecutive home games because it is snowing everywhere else.

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If you were to come in here, Mike, you would see what I'm talking about. Everything else has sports television on it, but it's a duller color than what is vibrant and lively coming by my television, which broadcast to the nation, the boys are in the warmth and they're almost back as you're still covering up because it's still cold where you are. Can you guys tell me what was happening in Minnesota the other day? Because I saw that the daily temperatures were going from 10:00 to 65, like yo-yoing around.

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I think Chicago was 70 degrees one day and then 14 degrees the next.

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No, but I think this happened the same day. I think the difference between high, low one day in Minnesota last week was ridiculous.

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We live this life, though. I leave my house, it's 58, and then I get to work at 76. It's a hard life out here. I put a sweater on. It's a little different. I don't need a sweater anymore.

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It's a little different. This is the coldest winter we have had down here in probably 10 years, I'm guessing. It's only because for a month, it's been 55 some days.

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Then it gets to 73. It's hard out here. I got to take my sweater off.

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Today in Minnesota, there's a low of 15 degrees and a high of 48. That's a 30-degrees swan.

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All right, let me put it on the poll here for the rest. A lot of the country is still very cold at Lebitard show. Do you feel any warmth? I really thought this part of me was dead. Do you feel any warmth when the boy When you arrive for spring training and you see sunshine on your Florida television.

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The Marlins and Cardinals were playing their first spring training the other day, and the Cardinals' announcers were the ones broadcasting it, and they apologized to the viewing audience in St. Louis for how beautiful it was outside in Florida in being only 73 degrees. Apologizing to their viewing audience.

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It's consensus the best preseason, right? Not even close, no other preseason. It's just something about it. I'll lose interest a month and a half in. But for this, when When I see spring baseball, I just love it. I love putting it on a little background TV. It's so good. The best preseason by far. We're always like, Hockey. Hockey is definitely the best.

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No, I agree with you. It's basketball. Okay, good. Thank you for just assuming. It's pretty myopic. We have sold out European soccer clubs coming to the US on tour all the time, selling out the big house. I mean, if you wanted to go just from a revenue perspective, it's very clearly European soccer.

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There's no heart in that.

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I want to get to these grades in a second because we really do see the dirty workplaces of people. This was a funny story yesterday. The gossip where you get to... If I simply said to you, Hey, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to demand that for one day everyone who plays football has to sit in front of a camera and tell me the truth about how they feel about their workplace. How do you really feel about everything? Are we doing grades here? No. Well, I'm going to wait for a second to do it because there's something else I want to do. But I want people to know that we are going to do it because we really got to sniff around in the laundry room and the underpants of the NFL yesterday by finding out, hey, how do the players really feel about the training staff, the food, how they live, how they're treated as human beings, the weight room. To see the dolphins get the best grades all around everywhere. Straight A's means that Steven Ross is indeed great about treating his employees well at the front of a franchise that has made him a lot of money, has made him a conqueror.

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He He has made... Steven Ross has been, by results, a truly terrible owner. Truly terrible. One of the worst in the history of this market. You could say worse than Jeffrey Lauria if you want to say, Well, at least Lauria won a championship. Steven Ross got straight A's yesterday on how he treats the employees in his business. He was voted the best of all of the owners. There is none better than him. But the owner of the chiefs, Clark Hunt, Clunt?

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No? Could have been...

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How did the L in there.

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I just had an L.

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You're scared with that L. There's precedent for adding the L. Terrified. Okay. Caleful.

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Gen Z would have said it.

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That was such a good joke without the L.

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There's precedent.

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Australians use it.

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Clark Hunt Got.

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Cunt.

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Supercharged that means. Then it's not good after you do that.

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Felt my coach was disappointed in me, so I was like, I got to go back in.

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Right.

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I give him an A for that one.

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What's your grade on that?

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They're not live. It's fine.

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You were surprised. You were surprised that Steven Ross scored so highly. I think Steven Ross, I'm not a Dolphins fan at all, but just as a neutral, I think Steven Ross is incredible. I understand that he has one pretty huge scandal with Brian Flores out there.

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Trying to get Katie.

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The scandal at the heart of it was he was trying to get the greatest quarterback of all time who went on to win a Super Bowl, what he's done in the facilities, what he's done as someone that has been working in media for 18 years and has seen the sea change from Heisinga and the Parcells era of how they treated the media to Steven Ross. It's much more first class than it ever was back then. I think Steven Ross has been a tremendous owner.

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Okay, well, let me explain some of the history to people of how money gets passed down in towns to make men wealthy, real estate tycoons. We've only had a handful of them down here. Mickey Arison has owned one of the franchises. But this franchise, that stadium, that ground, bankrupted Joe Robbie's family. Joe Robbie built that stadium, was dumb enough to use some of his own money, bankrupts his family. Heisenga comes in and becomes local rich guy who takes over and wins a championship in baseball and wanted to buy the heat. He wanted to buy all the sports teams, wanted to be what Steven Ross is now, wanted to build a Disney World around that whole area of the land that Steven Ross now gets for F1 and other things.

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Instead, he just bought a Supreme Court judge. That's right.

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That story is amazing. I did not know. That's on my watch that I don't know that Wayne Heiseng, a local sports owner, has bought Clarence Thomas.

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To be fair, it's on all our watches.

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I was the journalist in town as he built all of Fort Lauderdale out with money.

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Yeah, I I saw Heisinga's face in the graphic that John Oliver was doing on that story.

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It was amazing to watch that.

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The whole thing- So we can't say much.

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But so Heisinga makes a lot of money- Like Kobe. And does some winning, tries to get the best coaches, gets Jimmy Johnson, eventually fails at football, and now they've desecrated what Don Shula and Dan Moreno built. All Steven Ross has done since then, product on the field, is lose and be irrelevant and give all of the collateral that the Dolphins gave him and this town before the heat arrived and before the Marlins arrived. He's done nothing but losing.

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He's been a- And create probably the greatest sporting facility in the history of our planet.

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But the reason that I want to bring this part up is because- Using his own money. The reason I want to bring this part up is there is next to no correlation between how good your ownership is and what the result Don't end up being on the field. You may think Bob Kraft is better at this than others, but the two-time champions are run by F minus, Clark Hunt.

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I'm scared.

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F minus? I didn't know it was a grade. Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Lebitard Show. Did you know F minus was a grade? I thought F was the worst that you can do.

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If A minus is a grade, why wouldn't F minus be a grade? I'm like, Dan.

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I knew there was an F plus. I didn't know about the minus.

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I had never seen an F minus before.

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You didn't see me in geometry.

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In calculations of any kind.

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Now you get a participation trophy.

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Put it on the poll, Juju. Did you know there was an F minus? Forgive my ignorance for not knowing that.

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Stugats here. Did you know that according to FBI property crime data, most home break-ins happen in broad daylight? As the days get longer this spring, protect your home with Simply Safe. It's the award-winning home security I use and recommend. I've had it in my home for many, many years now. The peace of mind it gives me when I'm not home is the best thing about it. I can see everything happening in and around my house. Both experts and customers love Simply Safe for its comprehensive protection. It was just named Best Home Security System of 2024 by US News & World Report and recognized for the best customer service in home security by Newsweek. The whole system is backed by 24/7 professional monitoring for less than a dollar a day, there is no long-term contract ever. So you always get the emergency response you need and at half the cost of traditional home security. Protect your home today. Our listeners get a special 20% off any new SimplySafe system. When you sign up for Fast Protect monitoring, just visit simplisafe. Com/dlb. Don't wait. That's simplisafe. Com/dlb.

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Don Lebatard, Kenzly Jansen.

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I got to be careful here. What did I just do there? Let me start again. Stugatz. He's the closer. Comes in, ninth inning, closes the game out. His name is Kenley Jansen. He has blamed his recent...

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This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

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My overall point was I remember how much criticism Heisenga and the Robbies got because they could never win after the Dolphins became used to win it. Steven Ross, how do you do the calculations? Mike, you're just here to say that it has nothing to do with sports results. You're here to say- No, the results matter. No, he cares, and he's made my... He's made my facility great, my experience great, and he treats the employees well. Isn't that what you want from an owner?

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And you want them to do everything that they can to win, and sometimes that's at a detriment. Is he this middling owner that works against the best interests of the franchise? Maybe. When you see the big scandal being a direct result of his involvement, you can be held hostage He's been changed by some of these owners at times. Look at how involved Jerry Jones is, but he is a multiple-time champion in that sport, and the thing maybe holding them back at this point is his direct involvement. I do think that there are some lucky aspects, what's going on with the Hunt family They locked into Patrick Mahomes. Teams passed on that quarterback, and they're going to be perennially important as long as that guy is playing. But I do think ownership matters. I think we've seen it down here with the Miami Heat. I think Mickey Arison, even though I'd him to spend a hell of a lot more, has a proven formula of success. I do think ownership matters.

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If the shoe was on the other foot and he did everything great- I love this game. Yeah, thank you. If he did everything great on the field but then treated everybody like shit and the facilities were terrible, we'd still say the same thing, right?

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Oh, wait a minute. You think that before yesterday, everyone in the country knew that the chiefs are run like shit? That the two-time champions are treated like shit?

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I hadn't heard that recently.

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I had not heard. I don't hear a You know who got an A plus? Andy Reid for covering all that shit up because they love that dude. He gets an A plus, but the chiefs are shit. The chief's employees are like, Hey, we feel pretty disposable here. In fact, can you guys find- They're not hugely wealthy, right?

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A lot of I'd be curious to see. I think a lot of these legacy ownership groups that have had the teams down by their families, their main source of revenue is the sporting team, and they often get hit with that. The Bulls and White Sox ownership group always notoriously accused being cheap because that's the main source of revenue for the family.

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Yeah, Clark Hunt isn't very wealthy. He's only worth $2 billion.

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If I may, guys, I saw this- He is like a minnow.

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Is that asset in that room? That's the question.

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You say this, but I find this part interesting because we really got to sniff the underpants of the NFL yesterday. This is how the employees feel about the people they work with, how they're in charge, how they're treated as humans by the organization. There are a lot of reasons this story is interesting. But I also I saw that Clark Hunt at the Chief's facility, and I need your help with this because on the way in, I wasn't able to get this edited to make sure that I have it right. I saw a video of Clark Hunt's suite at Arrowhead Stadium, and it's six bedrooms. It's a home. It's not a suite. The man lives inside. He has a home inside of the stadium that acts as his suite. I was trying to verify if it was real or not, and we ran out of time before started.

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I don't know how much space that stadium has. If that is indeed the case, I wish he would give some of that up, because as someone that has done the hospitality lounge at Arrowhead, I can't believe that that's actually hosting World Cup games in 2026. It is such a dated facility. Your legs are in your chest the way that it would be at the old Yankee Stadium. It was just built when people were smaller.

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Except for this luscious apartment.

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He's got two stories?

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It's three stories. What? No, he's got a home.

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I didn't even know that stadium was capable of that.

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But it's real. All of that is real because- This looks real. Yes. I continue to wonder whenever I go anywhere in the internet, I'm like, This can't be real. How is this It's real. If it's real, how does not everyone know about it? How is it that I'm just now learning that the super... You would agree with me, right?

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Winning cures all, Dan.

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Okay, but wait a minute. You guys would agree with me. Pretty well-covered sport? Yes. Kansas City, we all remember, pandemic, football is going to save the country. They boo unity in Kansas City. You remember that?

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Unity. Yeah. They booed unity. I mean, you certainly remembered it.

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Then they win a couple of championships because Mahomes solves all and Kaepernick, all that stuff. Mahomes says, Stop that. Then they stop it. At the center of the spectacle of a sport that's covered very well, you guys are telling me that like me, you're learning yesterday that the Chiefs are run like shit and that their owners are a baller who's got a home in the stadium? You guys knew that?

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Well, no. To be fair, I don't think we know that now. All we have is this one data point.

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That's right.

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We also have a Nesson article from 2014 about the multiple living rooms inside this home that's been built inside the stadium. By the way, I was wrong about the 2 billion. It says, The Hunts as a family, they're worth 15 billion.

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This article can't please you. You're ripping Steven Ross for getting straight A's. You're ripping the Chiefs for getting bad grades. What does this all mean? Who's going to see?

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Thank you, Chris. Thank you. I appreciate this. We'll get to the gossip in a second. F minus coach. You guys got the F minus coach? Did you see the F minus coach?

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The Hunt family is actually super lucky. He's no longer a coach. The Hunt family is super lucky, not just because they have this quarterback head coach tandem, which you can't strip away their hand in that, but they're a border town. There's two different Kansas cities. When it comes to publicly financing their next stadium, they get to pit one state against another. They hit the jackpot.

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That is correct. In the middle of all of this gossip, Josh Josh McDaniels was the worst coach in the NFL last year. F minus. Players really, really hated him. Man, they could turn this into a reality show. Just sit these guys down and talk honestly about your employers. Tell us why you're giving those grades. What do you mean the Tampa Bay Bucks are rooming together on the road? And paying for it. What do you mean? No, if you want a room for yourself, if you want a room for yourself, you got to pay a couple of thousand dollars. Otherwise, you got to room with somebody. What? It's a multibillion dollar... What?

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Taking an extra hotel room?

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What are you doing? We don't room with people.

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When we go on the road- What are you doing? You're the NFL. Can you imagine if I said- Neither the bucks I know that the glazers were bad at owning. No, but I didn't know this. Did you know this? You're going to pretend you knew this.

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Oh, your American minds. It's cute sometimes.

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All right. I'm going to make it so that Stugatz and Tony have their room on the road together.

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Perfect.

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He'd love that. There's Stugatz.

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Sigs I would say, if you're from Miami, I would love Steven Ronge just for the shade at the stadium.

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Did you ever go to a Sunday ball game at that stadium?

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Dude, game changing.

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My skin would bubble.

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I think it's the reason I currently have skin issues. It's because of going to all those games on Sunday afternoons.

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Can I just... So thank you for correcting me, Chris, because, yes, you are right that I might sound a bit conflicted here, but here's where I am not. Because I've seen the history of sports in this town, and I've just heard so many years that the problems with the Dolphins begin because of the leadership at the top.

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I'm just saying, though, your perception of Steven Ross, I hear way more of what me and Mike say about him.

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Understood. I'm telling you, is that I'm coming from an antiquated time with what I heard the criticism of the Robbies, Heisengas, and everyone be, whenever it is there was an absence of leadership in the organization, it always rose above the coaches's fault. It wasn't the front This is his fault. You lose for 10 years, 20 years Shula's legacy, it's because you've got a rotting organization. You're not Bob Kraft. You don't know how to run your place. Yes, Steven Ross locally has a very popular reputation because of all the reasons you mentioned. But I am with David Samson when David Samson says, Well, the results haven't been anything. It used to be that fans didn't care how we were treating the employees. As long as we got the results, Ross has gotten no results. They're going to pay two now. He's going to be one of the highest paid players in the league.

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No one squeezed more out of a single title outside of maybe Paul pierce than David Samson.

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Okay. Regardless, what I'm telling you is so, right? I can call him one of the least popular owners in the history of South Florida sports because of the results and then have this report card thrown in my face, and you would say, No, he's a good owner.

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I think if you pull South Florida sports fans, they'll just say that because people tend to conflate on field success with how good their owner is. I think that's ingrained in fandom, especially in the social media age. It's just from where I'm looking, where I can disassociate myself from the emotion of on field results as just a South Florida sports fan. I think he's done an amazing job from where things were, from dealing with that front office and group to attending sporting events at that stadium. I don't think what he's done with that stadium is revolutionary. There isn't a place like that on the planet. I think he's been incredible. And to do it with largely his own money, too. What else do you want?

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Also, Steven Ross, I should tell everybody in the audience, as graded by his employees, his rating here wasn't just best in the sport. It was near perfect. They're asking their employees questions, and the rating is near perfect for their owner.

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You have Formula One, a world-class tennis. This summer, you're going to have the Copa América final. You're You're going to have 6-7 World Cup games in 2026. That guy's killing it.

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Killing it. Has it changed your perception in the last week? Do you think of Steven Ross any differently seeing this?

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What I would say to you is that if you treat your employees well, if in that league, which makes so much money and still finds a way to be Clark Hunt, where you're not distributing it among the people who are working with you so that the players are noticing how small their seats are when they're the big people and the staff is up front. They're noticing, why is staff in first class? We're the economy. We're the two-time Super Bowl champions. Why don't we get more of this? Guaranteed. I see from that perspective, believe how it is that any one in that sport who climbs to the top of ownership and is viewed as seeing the players and treating employees most humanely, then yes, I would have to alter my opinion on how it is.

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This is a massive achievement. Bishop the Rook 9. To change an over 50-year-old man's mind in this country. You do not take that for granted. We did it, Joe. Anytime you get a man of that age to admit he was wrong about something, you can move mountains, my friend. You can move mountains. What if employees were to look me to get a similar survey?

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What do you think would happen? Let's do lunch right now. I'm going B plus. I'm going A plus. Yeah, you can go too healthy at times, but too healthy.

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You know what? Wait a minute. Let's do this. I would really to actually do this because we should make that a segment.

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The anonymity protects you. Very important anonymity. But you sure. And outside like, Well, boss, with this survey that you've given me, I- As you look me in the eyes. Truthfully tell you that you're about, incomplete grade for me. Personally, it's incomplete. I was on a vision. I give you A. I'm still here.

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A plus.

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Well, okay. I'd like to do this honestly. If I'm calling for the NFL to do this, Hey, can sniff your underpants and find out how the employees really feel about the bosses, I think we got to figure out a way to do that. I think we got to figure out a way to do that. The other thing I wanted to do- We'll have awful announcing reach out.

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We're ready.

[00:25:13]

We have to- Independent. Chris Cody is not feeling confident about the montage he put together in service of Richard Lewis and our memory involved with the show. He's worried about how long it is.

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Well, how long is it?

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Right now, it's at 14 minutes. Roy's combing through it, but I think it's just so many funny moments with him. It was hard for me to cut stuff.

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14 minutes. Yeah. Nice. Your show, pal.

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The other thing I wanted to get to, and I don't know that there's something I miss more from anything that we've done in the last 20 years than the ability for our audience to creatively compete against each other to make fun of me. They do it by text. Now, when I'm in a wrestling costume, they've given me an assortment of wrestling names that what my wrestler be named because yesterday I was in a Nacro Libre costume. You guys tell me from among this list of names which you like the best for my character, my wrestling character. Cold Stone Cream Austin.

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That's it. I mean, you leading off.

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Andre the Giant.

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I mean, these are stand-up triples. Good two-hole hitter.

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Really good.

[00:26:26]

Brutus the Barber Cheesecake.

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Slap Single.

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Hulk Hogi.

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That's a cleanup hitter?

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The ultimate warrior.

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That's right. Thick out looking.

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Thick Flare.

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Single.

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Yeah, single. Thick with two Cs.

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Yeah, no, I got it.

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Triple H Cups.

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Oh, no. Oh, no. Thick out swinging.

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Flan Saina.

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I didn't even get that, so straight out. Yeah, hit with the pitch.

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Instead of John Saina, Flan.

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No, I got it.

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Flan, the mustard, the Cuban. Okay, got it. Whey Misterio, Filet Misterius, Soufflé Misterio.

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Three straight outs. Three up, three down.

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Tetas Roja. It's just red tit.

[00:27:06]

I don't think that's derivative of an action, I'm sorry.

[00:27:10]

El Aso, Whitebo. Mr. 305. Mr. 305. Mr. 305. Mr. 305. Mr. 305. Mr. 305. Mr. 305. Mr. 305. Mr.

[00:27:15]

Yeah, no, these are all strikeouts.

[00:27:17]

All of them?

[00:27:18]

He came out of the gate strong.

[00:27:18]

What about red tits?

[00:27:20]

That's great. No. He popped out. Anytime you say Tetas, it's good.

[00:27:24]

Dan Lebatard. Teamates can't shoot from three. Now they're going to see a different Jimmy. Now he's just playing nickel back in the locker room and-Stugatz. They'll play D and show threes as they chase the nets for the sixth seed. These five This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. Razor Hamong, Spanish for ham. Ham is funny. Just the word, the word ham.

[00:28:05]

How long is to, by the way?

[00:28:06]

How long is two.

[00:28:08]

Even funnier. When you're doing that, you do miss Stugats laughing, even though he has no idea what you're saying.

[00:28:15]

I do miss that, of course. He's going to have a book published. He's getting the money in an advance from the book dealer, Random House. Not A, Random House. It's a big publisher. He hasn't written it, and now money is coming in from our fans in ways that put him up a top bestseller list.

[00:28:36]

And he's still going with a ghost writer. In the age of AI, that's pretty impressive. Yeah.

[00:28:41]

He should probably just have a book with blank pages in it, right?

[00:28:44]

It was a pitch that we received.

[00:28:46]

Oh, my God.

[00:28:49]

Oh, it warms my heart. There he is. Oh, God. If you can... Chris.

[00:28:56]

I feel safe now.

[00:28:57]

Chris, I will tell you. Chris, Here's the future for you in this business. If you learn how to manipulate those sounds so it feels like his spirit is here supporting me with fake laughter, you will get a better me and you will get less of him That's how you will usher us into retirement. Yes, it'll be lovely. I want to remind people that the Kansas City Chiefs, with the worst organization we found out yesterday, even though they're two-time champions, also, and this is underreported, had a bank robber fan who called himself Chiefsaholic. He became famous. He became a famous fan. So they are two-time defending champion, more famous than ever because of Taylor Swift, have a bank robber fan who is now... He's going to get 50 years in jail. He's got to return $532,000 and an autograv Mahomes photo, which seems excessive. It seems cruel. Then his attorney, I didn't think this was a real thing. You talk about AI, Mike. I thought this was a spoof. I thought, I'm watching this on the courthouse steps with some trash in the background, and I'm thinking, No, this is funny or die. This is a comedy team.

[00:30:13]

This isn't Chiefsaholic actual attorney.

[00:30:16]

From the beginning of this case, folks, the government has been blitzing, and Xavier's pocket was collapsing. But today, Xavier stepped into the pressure. He took responsibility for his actions. He stood up in court, humble and repentent, and admitted what he had done. Now, If I know anything about Xavier, and if the Chief's Kingdom knows anything about Chief'saholic, we know that he doesn't give up. We know that if he stumbled and he fell, He didn't let his knee touch the ground. That's because he's capable of doing a great thing, and he knows that there's still hope. We still have a lot of work to do on his case, but Xavier wants everyone to know that he loves the Chief's Kingdom, he loves Kansas City, and he hopes that you'll rally to his support. Thank you and God bless.

[00:31:27]

If I frame that differently and just told you that was the Daily The Daily Show. The Daily Show had hired a paid actor to do that. The Chiefs have a bank robber who's going to jail for a long time with the misery of, I used to be our most famous fan, and now it's that Taylor Swift. I used to get my entire identity as a Chiefs fan. Let me explain something to you. I'm a bank robber. I robbed banks. I think it's to support a gambling habit. I think it is nice. It tickles me. His voice for... How many of those do you have? If you've got a variety of them, you could tickle me for the rest of the show. You got to get better at it. That didn't seem like a real thing, did it? You're watching that and you think that looks like a spoof.

[00:32:17]

The hard R on Xavier threw me off.

[00:32:19]

That was crazy. Xavier-r.

[00:32:22]

Young Charlie Castile over there, really forcing that hard R.

[00:32:26]

I find myself bemused by the that as much as we cover this sport and we cover the Holy Hell out of it, we have this going on at the top of that sport. I can't engage you guys in a two-a conversation because what the chiefs have figured out is how to remain championship-worthy when you have the best quarterback and you pay him correctly, and you have him cheap at the beginning of the career. He develops a relationship with the coach. The coach gets an A plus from the staff because he's making the entire thing run, and Taylor Swift surrounds it and makes you the biggest thing in the thing. It's pretty amazing to learn as a journalist yesterday, the chiefs are run like shit.

[00:33:05]

It's become fact. We don't have the data points. We know that their building is super old, and some people don't like the catering.

[00:33:12]

But I think of the bangles that way. I think of the bangles-Yeah, again, the same thing.

[00:33:17]

These franchises that have been handed down where the main revenue stream is the actual team, you'll run into that.

[00:33:24]

Did you see the notes on what the bangles have to go through as far as their shower and the toilet. They only have five working toilets, by the way.

[00:33:32]

Tony, the bangles, I didn't read yesterday's bangles stuff. The only one I knew, I'm not plugged into football this way, maybe Peter King knew this stuff. Probably Mina and a bunch of others. I did not know this stuff. The only organization in pro football in my modern age covering that sport, as it's gotten very wealthy, known to be cheap was the bangles. They weren't trying to actually win. They were just trying to keep the business afloat, and they were cheap in a million different ways. It didn't feel like you were playing in the NFL or at a top-tier organization be playing for the Bengals because they were doing it cheap while everybody was making money. I did not know that about the Kansas City Chiefs, our two-time champions. I'm not sure if America knew it. I feel it's not exactly journalism because it's just a bunch of players talking anonymously, just asking about their work conditions. But I appreciated the honesty.

[00:34:26]

All of this just proves what we already knew. Quarterbacks are the important. It doesn't matter what your training staff's like, your training room, your facilities, how your owner treats you. If you have a good quarterback, you win. And if you don't, the dolphins, A's everywhere. What does it get us? Nothing.

[00:34:40]

From the actual report card, this is under Cincinnati's tab, the players reported that half of the showers in their locker room don't function properly, lacking either warm water or sufficient water pressure. They also mentioned a persistent plumbing issue, leaving them with only five functioning toilets for the entire team. Last year, the bangles didn't provide three meals a day for their players. This year, they do, but only on Wednesdays.

[00:35:01]

I'm just looking at this whole report card graphic for the first time. Green Bay's number three. Yeah. Okay. Calling into question all of this.

[00:35:09]

Tony, how are our grades coming along?

[00:35:11]

Our grades?

[00:35:12]

We're working on them. All right, let me find out what's happening here. Are we doing lunch? What are the categories? Can I at least get some categories from you guys? If you're grading your work environment, what are some of the... Because they got training staff, they got cafeteria, they got- We got vibes.

[00:35:28]

Vibes? Vibes are We're in here.

[00:35:30]

I'm working with the video team. I'm putting together our report card. It should be coming up soon. We're putting the final touches on it. All right, you're working on. Of anonymity. We've got only a couple left. We should be getting it- Dan, don't pressure.

[00:35:40]

Very, very quickly. It takes a little bit to build a graphic.

[00:35:44]

Be careful because you're obviously a part of the graphic, and we want to make sure.

[00:35:48]

I don't want to change the grade on you. I don't want to change the grade.

[00:35:51]

The grade just went down.

[00:35:52]

All right. Can I ask a couple of questions? I want to get to the grades, and we will Because I think there's some funny stuff here. But when you hear the reports that Caleb Williams was paid $10 million for the last two years, NIL and endorsements, and they got him cheap, by the way. That's about the going rate for a starting quarterback, and it's not going to stay that cheap very long.

[00:36:16]

It's not just NIL. It's NIL plus other endorsements because NILs afforded this path. That's crazy.

[00:36:22]

But when I tell you, $10 million over the last couple of years, I ask this question sincerely. How What does Reggie Bush feel about that?

[00:36:31]

At that school? Yeah.

[00:36:33]

You must be infuriated.

[00:36:35]

I mean, they took his Heisman.

[00:36:36]

They took the Heisman back, at least. They took his Heisman.

[00:36:38]

The other question I wanted to ask you was about Tyreek Hill and paternity suits. It seems like in the last year of Tyreek Hill's life, there's just a lot of volatility. It seems that that life is a bit explosive. There are a lot of things happening around Tyreek Hill that you're reading about happening around all of the players in the league.

[00:37:02]

Here's a tweet from BlacksportsOnline. In the last 12 months, Tyreek had three babies, got married, got divorced, stayed married. His house almost burned down. He almost had a 2000-year-old season, and he's presently being sued by Thick Milk for breaking her leg, for tackling her in his backyard.

[00:37:18]

I, for one, am shocked that Tyreek Hill has volatility going on.

[00:37:22]

I know. Well, but no, okay. It cannot be shocking and still be a lot. It can still seven children in four paternity We just got done with hard knocks, showing us the inside look of this interesting team that's getting all A pluses. It's getting all A pluses everywhere, even though all it's done is lose for two decades because they got a couple of new guys.

[00:37:43]

I will say these scandals, if you could even call them that, it shows a marked improvement on the man's character.

[00:37:51]

My response to everything, Tyree kill, it doesn't work on a podcast. I'm just shaking my head. Let's all do it together.

[00:37:58]

Okay, that's just it?

[00:37:59]

A lot of silence there. No, but they'll understand. People on the podcast, let's all do it. Just for a second. All right.

[00:38:09]

It happened with me naturally because of that idea.

[00:38:12]

Well, no.

[00:38:13]

You know what? I'm with you. It was Tyreek Hill, I'm telling you. You think it was me. It was Tyreek.

[00:38:16]

I'm with Chris Cody on this one. Us shaking our head in shame, but not saying anything, but you know what we're saying.

[00:38:26]

Exactly. That's all it needs to be said.

[00:38:29]

But it's...

[00:38:34]

You liked it.

[00:38:36]

Nothing more.

[00:38:37]

Enough said. It's perfect.