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This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

Happy 30th birthday to Taylor. Happy birthday to him. I don't care. Good luck. For your birthday, the Knicks started that game down 14-0. Miami, he were not much better last night. I think that there's a very real Denver Nuggets, Jimmy Butler conversation that should probably be had because he had a bizarre 2010 LeBron-like finals appearance against the Nuggets. But he had bought so much capital with that historic run that we really couldn't jump on him for starting to shoot when the game was out of hand in game five. But they give him problems. It's a thing. It's not something that we have to worry about over the next three months because the heat are very clearly going to go to the finals again, and hopefully, Denver gets plugged along the way. But there's something there. There's something there. I went to sleep after the end of the first quarter last night because the heat were down 16, and at that point, you got to make a call. Everyone made that call. Heat down 16 after one. We're going to bed.

I had two double drinks at the Panthers game, so I went right to sleep when I got home last night.

So four drinks.

No, two. In my mind.

In your mind.

Did they lose? You wanted them, too, or no? No. So you left upset.

The Panthers, I was in a real win-win last night because they got to overtime, and I was just like, Hey, either they win or they lose. For anyone that doesn't know this on air, I have a theory that the Panthers are peaking too early. Base and hockey are similar where it's... I actually am not joking about this. I know it sounds ridiculous. It does. You want to be hot at the right time of the season, and the Panthers are flaming hot right now with 20 games left. So I need over the next 10 games. I'm cool with 500 ball over the next 10 games. Work in a three-game losing streak in there somewhere. Then Then that's when we bring it home.

Then you have to get hot again.

The final seven, eight games, end on a seven-game winning streak, and boom, peak right into the play.

They have the Biden Cup right now, right?

President's trophy, yes. Top of the table. They're in the top of the table. The Rangers don't have the lead on them.

No, the Panthers are leading with a game in hand over the Boston Bruins, and they have the tiebreaker with regulation wins.

Okay. So it's the New York Rangers, Vancouver Knucks, Boston Bruins. Dallas Stars. Dallas Stars and Florida Panthers, and every day that you check those standings. So I'm with Chris to a certain degree in that we all know that there's a Biden Cup curse out there. You don't want the President's trophy. We wanted two years ago. We saw how that ended. But I do want a home ice. And I know we're very good on the We're also very good at home. Florida Panthers, by the way, cup favorites, according to DraftKings' sportsbook. Cup favorites. That's not so bad. I like where we're positioned. I actually want the home ice because I don't want game sevens on other people's home ice. I want it here. I want that atmosphere, provided we get that far. I'm with you when it comes to the President's trophy, but I'm not with you on going 500 for the rest of the season because they're really good teams in the East.

Just the next scene, follow along, Mike. Just the next 13 games, 500 ball, 500-500-puck.

You want the conference?

I want the conference, yeah. I want home ice. The Panthers being what is referred to as the eighth seed, although hockey really screwed up these playoffs, I hate the way the hockey playoffs are. It's divisional. It's terrible because if the Flyers end up making it, Carolina draws the Flyers, and the Panthers are probably going to have a more difficult opponent if they get the one seed. You can't even classify teams as an eight seed. We had two teams make it to the finals at the same time. Both were eight seeds, but it's not really referred to as the eight seed. It's all confusing. Wild card. We had to win a game seven, which was a highest rated game of the hockey season last year at Boston. I prefer not doing that again is my whole point. It's one thing if you're sweeping the Carolina Hurricanes, even though to Coach Brenda Moore, it wasn't a sweep. But I'd like Home Ice.

I heard K'Chuck on the Big Dog show earlier this week, and he says the opposite, though. He's like, Home Ice is fine, but we want to be peaking at the right time. Because he's saying right now, he was saying that they're as bought in to the way they want to play right now as ever, even more than last season. I know that's just an easy thing for him to say.

Yeah, you're saying things that you want to hear.

But I'm just telling you, if you watch them play, it's true. If you watch them play, man, they just... And I know they've struggled a little bit. They've gone to overtime with some- Yeah, they haven't played well lately.

No, they haven't. I think you're getting your way in that they're getting points But they're not particularly playing Panthers Hockey. Last night was frustrating to watch because they're not pinning the the fuck in deep. The forecheck was okay, but I thought Montreal outflawed Florida to a certain degree. So it's all about playing well. And they're not playing as well as they did a couple of weeks ago, but they're getting the results right now. So I think that there's still room for their form to improve, but still get the points.

Yeah, They did not play well last night. I mean, two blown assignments led to two break aways. One of them was a goal.

But the same Reinhardt is back.

Yeah, 40th and 41st goal of the season.

Guys, let's save some of these good takes for the hockey show, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Did you know that Sam Reinhardt leads the league in power play goals and shorthanded goals?

He went away from the franchise record. I can honestly say I had no idea.

The Panthers, I guess, according to Chris, too hot right now. The heat getting hot at the perfect time, though, right? Because now you're starting to get some attention from the national media. No one wants to play the heat in the playoffs. We're starting to get everyone's getting back on the heat bandwagon just in time for the playoffs, working out for this show in what will inevitably be our disappointment when the heat crap out again of the NBA Finals.

So the heat were playing well. And that's any... They're playing- But then they're playing bad. It's a West Coast trip at Denver. Historically, it's always been very difficult for this franchise. So what I'm about do is unfair. The Jimmy Butler thing, I think, is fair. There's something going on there with Denver, and he needs to figure it out, or maybe not, if they get plumped, because we all know that he's making the finals. But Scary Terry, they were playing well because Scary Terry just so happened to be injured. Scary Terry is coming off his best game as a heat against Portland, and he comes into that game against Denver. When I went to bed, he had already had one really bad airball, and I woke up in my group chat. Apparently, he had four airballs in this game. He was terrible. And I told you when we traded- Is that what the drinks Chris was drinking alcohol? He was terrible. The scary is like A-I-R for airball. He was bad. And when they traded my least favorite player of all time in Kyle Lowry for my second least favorite player of all time in Terry Rozier, I told you and the audience, I'm willing to start fresh with this guy, but the evidence is mounting.

Well, you said you ripped him, and then you came back a day later, and you're like, You know what?

I'm bought in. I'll watch. I'm bought in. I'll watch. I'll give him a chance. But I've been watching, and I think we're ready to call this race. He's not very good. He's got to do the thing where he probably goes out of the rotation a little bit, then he erupts in a weird game six for 35, and people will be in my mentions, and we'll all forget just the game in Denver where he had four airballs.

Altitude, though.

I didn't want to actually talk about last night down here in South Florida Sports. I know this is referred to as the local hour, but I am presently really snagged on something that happened in 2006 that Jess- Aren't we all? Jess introduced me to. We have video- In 2006?

Yeah. She was a miner.

We have video of this, I'm being told. And did you know, Billy, that Joe Paterno once shit his pants during a game?

No.

And it It's pretty obvious. Go on. It's pretty obvious. And he's not low-key about this at all. We have video from this, and let's all react. Let's ride the game because I do want to do a bit of a Ron Ross theme, Stop it and hold type of deal. So let's run the tape. Joe Paterno in the end zone. Is he going to the bathroom? Joe Paterno is leaving the field. He has come all the way across his offensive line. Stop it.

He's jogging off the field.

They cut a little bit from the early parts of the video, because the early parts of the video, you can already see on his face something happened. You can see on his face something happened, and you're also missing the effect of the teams are on the field. They're punting out of an end zone, and Joe Paterno runs in between the center and the punter while the teams are on the field.

The pace is what gives away the pooping here. This is not just a jog to a halftime. This is, I got somewhere to go. I need to get there quick.

He literally cuts in between the play to run to the locker room I want you to look at the color pants that he is wearing at this point if they show up in the frame, because early on you could tell he's wearing dark-colored pants. Yeah, see, he's wearing navy pants there. As he's running through the end zone as teams are on the field, Okay. Now run the audio, if we can, please. He's wearing navy pants and he's got a jog about him, and I think a lot of us recognize that jog. Oh, that jog. We have no reason to know why. Joe's maybe the only guy that knows.

Oh, no, we all know.

Cappanos to punt from near his own endpoint. We know that that was bizarre. We've never really seen a coach run in the middle of a play. Joe Paterno returns from halftime. And Bonnie Bernstein has an interview with Joe Paterno in which she asked him what happened there. Bonnie Bernstein said that he's battling some a flu blood bug, and you could see it on his face. Let's pod this up.

Today, suffering from a bit of a flu bug.

He says he feels a little better, but I could just tell he's still washed out.

I said, Coach, what were you able to keep up on in the locker room?

He's like, Well, I know we missed a field goal, and then we made it. And that's all that matters. That's great. Stop it right there. That's the first time Joe's probably- Stop it right there.

Look at that. That is a man, a broken man.

It is a broken man.

He's got hands on his hips just looking down.

What do you recognize about the pants? Different pants. Cackies.

I mean, he's 79 at the time.

No, I know.

I've seen this move before from my six-year-old during a soccer game. Sometimes you just got to jog off the field in the middle of the game. It's something you would see in a rec league like, Hey, mom, I got to go poop.

Navy pants? Then runs and then khy pants.

That man-It wasn't just a poopy, though, because he has a towel around his neck. He's clearly going through something.

I mean, well, that was his thing, especially at that age. The towel probably shouldn't have been around his neck. He shit his pants, and he ran off and he interrupted a play because he shit his pants. I did not know this about Joe Paterno.

You got to be in the morning. I feel like, what time is this game at? Noon? It's just we got to think this out more for him.

I think one thing is obvious. This is the most shameful part of his legacy, no doubt, for Joe Paterno. Hey, folks, it's Mike Ryan. Now, you've had the distinct privilege of knowing me for close to 18 years, and you know that I've changed. A lot of my personal life has changed. I've changed as a professional. I am a parent now. My level of involvement in my favorite college football program has also changed. But one thing that hasn't changed for me is my favorite beer. You know when it's real with me. I think you do anyways. And you know how much I love Miller Light. I've loved it forever, really. It's my favorite beer of all time, and it made all the great moments in my life all that much better. And when Miller Light came aboard on our show, I was super stoked about it because I believed in the product. Because every time I take a sip of Miller I look around and I think, yeah, this was the right call. Times change. People like me can change, but you can always enjoy the great taste of Miller Light. Taste like Miller time. To get Miller Light delivered right to your door, visit millerlight.

Com/dan, or you can try to find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces. Don Levatard.

All the crew ships go out at 5:00 PM. It's like a parade of crew ships, and they're all blowing the horn. They're like,. There's all these people outside because it's like, a little fog horn.

It really does sound… It sounds like an old truck.

I thought it was more like… Oh, my God!

That was really good. That was good. That was good. Do it again. Limited fake cruise ship horn. Stugats. Really good. I'm waving. I'm waving.

Yes. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

It's big movie weekend with Dune 2 headed to theaters, and I've been put off. And I know this is an algorithm that I'm getting because I've asked other people around me, Are you getting Dune 2 IG ads?

I just keep seeing that Dune popcorn thing that looks like a... Flirt? Yeah.

So I- Flishlight? Flishlight. Yeah. So I keep getting Dune 2 ads, but it's really off-putting to me Because it's nothing of the movie. I would prefer to get the Flishlight popcorn. All I'm getting in these advertisements are beautiful people being beautiful at red carpet events. And I'm like, this is a very strange way.

It is an attractive cast, though.

It's a very pretty cast. It's a very strange way to market a sci-fi epic that had already a first part that I had seen and I thought was just occurring.

What's it about? What's Dune about?

A lot of sand.

There's a ton of sand. It's basically about sand. I saw the first movie, and same notes, too. A reboot.

It's like his life existed only on sand.

A noble family becomes imbroyled in a war for control over the galaxy's most valuable asset while its air becomes troubled by visions of a dark future. On sand. That says nothing.

Yeah, it's- It's just words.

It's like- There's the Dune popcorn thing.

You're putting your hand in, but- No, that was part one. Are you getting it out?

I've seen the application of people taking popcorn out, and you actually don't got a true handful. It scrapes a lot of the popcorn out of your hand, and you don't get the full mouthful of popcorn. So Dune is a lot like Avatar, which is a lot like Dances with Wolves, which is a lot like Pocahontas. I know cinématically, that's not the same timeline. I meant historical when it comes to Pocahontas. But I saw the first movie. It was pretty to look at. There was a lot of sand, so much sand. So Dune was a movie before. It was this in the 1980s. And I think I recall as a little kid seeing the original Dune, and it was a bomb. It flopped. And the source material was like the Watchmen. How do you make a movie out of this? This is so difficult to make into a movie. And the answer was, let's just really draw it out. So the first one, very talky, okay, pretty to look at, sets up this part, too, which we see this occasionally. Number one movie on IMDb, 100 on Rotten Tomat. It's almost as if the entire industry rallies around one film to get you to go to the movies every year.

This appears to be that time. The feedback that I've seen is, epic, 100 % Rotten Tomat, IMDb, best movie ever, and also for Austin Butler, who I don't think is a serious person. He's getting rave reviews as best villain ever on screen. This is Heath Ledger Joker-level type of stuff from Austin Butler.

It sounds like it's going to be a flop.

It can't It can't possibly deliver on this.

Adnan says it's great.

Oh, please.

And he doesn't... I mean, he's pretty... He just likes to like movies. No, he doesn't like all these, especially these big blockbusters. He's often critical of them, and he's just like, it's visually, it's just good.

But there's a lot of sand.

Oh, a lot of sand.

So much sand.

Do you think anyone's ever trying to fight a popcorn bucket?

Oh, most definitely. I've actually seen videos, not a people's film, the popcorn bucket. But there's the sand worm toys, and they're putting the sand worm back into this. It was weird.

I reported it. I've seen a lot of like, Lord, forgive me, what I'm about to dune to this popcorn machine, whatever it is.

I don't know. I'm not going to see it on the biggest screen ever, because when I'm getting an ad for it telling me to see it on the biggest screen ever, I'm seeing Zendaya in some plastic outfit, and I'm like, This is not the movie at all. But there is a movie that has gotten some traction on social media, and it's in development, and it's American Psycho, which is, for my money, one of the funny- Another one? Really? Yeah. So there was American Psycho, and then a sequel with Mila Kunis. That was American Psycho 2 that was I mean, I think she was related to Patrick Bateman. She might have been Patrick Bateman's daughter, and it was just terrible. I think it was straight to DVD at the time and whatever. American Psycho is a perfect movie, in my opinion. It's a great dark comedy. It's my number two favorite movie of all time. I love American Psycho, and I know what the take is from everybody that loved the original American Psycho is this is perfect. It does not need to be remade. But the reports are it's going to be a modern retelling of American Psycho, which was a period piece.

A lot of people made American Psyho better by having their own theories as to what it was about. No, this is a statement on the vanity of the '80s, and it's a period piece, and I'm more inclined to go that route. I mean, what is more vain than the era that we're living in right now? It's actually perfect timing to have an American Psyho, contemporary version. It's just applying that branding and that expectation with it. But we've already had a bad American Psyho out of the way.

I don't know, man. The '80s. This is pretty vain in the '80s, man. How is that going to get any better?

I feel the same way about this that I feel about any reboot, which is like, if it's a good movie, I'll watch it. I don't care if it's a reboot or not. It's just like sometimes they're just lazy and they to repeat the same thing over again and it's not good. But make a good movie, people will watch it.

I don't know. I think it's the audacity of making the reboot because the Naked Gun is getting a reboot with Liam Neeson. How are you going to do that?

I think, look, The Spoof movie has totally disappeared. Leslie Nielsen took it with him. And a couple of months ago, I was binging Leslie Nielsen movies. I've gone as far as to see those crappy golf videos that he's done. Those are really bad, really terrible. Leslie Nielsen was really unlike anybody else. You went to a Leslie Nielsen movie, you knew exactly what to expect. Scary movie did resurrect the Spoof movie, and they paid homage to him by him being part of the cast in one of the sequels. Scary Movies 3. Yeah, but he took that whole genre away. It's goofy. It's not laugh out loud, fall out of your chair funny. It's more like funny, ha-ha stuff, and it's just pleasant to watch. And it's totally gone away. I know Rasheeda Jones did a series that was very much like Naked Gun, but that got canceled, and no one's really done it. As we know from his clip with the Associated Press, Leslie Nielson had great comedic timing, but Liam Neeson had better comedic timing with that AP interview. Actually, you need a straight man, I think, in these spoofs, and he plays a believable cop.

He played an all-time great character in Derry Girls.

No, no, no, no, no.

He was a cop.

I think it's going to be great. I think the timing is right for a Naked Gun reboot, and it's not held in the same regard as American Psycho is. A lot of these naked gun movies are very poorly rated.

Can I ask a question about, and I might face backlash for this, about that Leslie Nielsen clip that we play for a long time? I understood what he was saying. Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson, yeah. What did he say?

It is the perfect actor to do the reboot because it trip people up because they're both Liam Neeson, Leslie Nielsen.

Yeah, I got- Very hard. I got tripped up there, too. But do you have the entire Associated Press clip? Because I want to... I think I'm with Billy on it. I know what he was going for. The no was just so perfect, and the no that he hits is just so iconic that we really lose the essence of what he was trying to say. So let's play that entire clip.

There's a lot of discussion about it and a lot of healthy unnecessary discussion about it because the disparity sometimes is really disgraceful.

How do you think we can move past that?

We're starting. We're starting, and it has to start And it's starting with these extraordinary actresses and brave ladies. And we, as men, have got to be part of it. We started it, so we have to be part of the solution.

So would you take a pay cut to equals things out.

No. Pay cut? No, no, no, no, no, I should make less to make it equal that way.

Everyone should be making... I get it.

I get it. Except when it comes to N-I-L, probably. Because we talked yesterday. I'm curious. Jess, you weren't here, and Lucy wasn't here either. Lucy is taking a personal day because Kaitlyn Clarke has announced that she is indeed going to the WMBA. I just threw out there.

Is that a good business move for her?

Well, people have done the math that There's an average WMBA salary, and she's presently making more. I saw she was hanging out with Theo Vawn the other day in Iowa.

Do we have that video of Haley Jones talking about going to the W? Because she talked about how it's a myth, essentially, that you're losing money by going to the WMBA. Once you're a professional, your endorsements that you had in college will most likely continue. If not, you'll have the opportunity to do more.

I imagine she and her team have crunched the numbers, and she's got a massive shoe deal waiting for her. And I think she has a really unique opportunity in front of her to make the WMBA matter more by her arrival. And I think that's part of it. We talked about it's a little bit of the Messi going to MLS and Beckham going to MLS thing versus some of the other offers that they have in Messi's regard, going to Saudi and just getting this huge bag in Beckham's respects, him saying in Europe, adding more trophies. Let's play that clip that Jessica was referring to. So you did not lose money coming from the group. No, ma'am.

I understand.

In plain language, you did not lose.

Spread the gospel, spread the gospel, please. Yeah, I think People, I don't really know where that came from, but when coming from the NIO space- Man, it came from man. You're right. It's completely right. Very rarely is it a one-post situation or a one-month thing. You're being endorsed by a brand for a long-term contract. Everything I did in NIO, I still have the majority of those contracts with me now. Then I take on my WMBA-based salary. Then being in the W, being in the Atlanta market, then you start getting more endorsements. Now you're working to be one of the faces of the league with this team marketing agreement, league marketing agreement, whatever it is. There's a lot of opportunities to add on what you already have.

That's interesting. She maintained a lot of her NIL, and maybe I was approaching it from a naive space. I had an NIL deal with a women's college basketball athlete, and it stopped when she went professional over to Europe. I still don't know if we have enough data points on NIL to pros. Maybe that's a unique experience that she has, but it is something to consider. I don't think that there is any scenario for Kaitlyn Clarke here going to the WMBA that sees her making less money. That's not how these things work, right, Jazz?

Absolutely. She's a star. She's going to make money no matter where she goes. But I also think that if she wants to play pro, it's weird that people are putting their own opinions onto it. She's achieved almost everything you can as a college player, except for win a national championship. Maybe they'll do that this season. But she has the scoring record. She's broken tons of records in college basketball, and going to the next level, I think, will be a great challenge for her and something that if you're an athlete and a competitor, why wouldn't you want to do that? And why wouldn't you want to take that next step? Especially because the fever have the number one pick. She'll be playing with Alia Boston, probably next year, who just won WMBA Rookey of the Year, one of the best inside players in the W. And the combination of the two could be lethal in the WMBA.

Don Lebatard. I just heard a song that had Frank Sinatra singing from the window to the Wall till The Sweat Drop Off My Balls. To Stugatz. The Window to the Walls. We all heard that, right?

Till the Sweat Drops Down My Balls.

So what I'm saying here- All these females crawling, singing, Oh, Skit, Skit, God damn.

Old Blue Eyes.

Congratulations on your Sui nomination.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

I I want to close the loop a little on Caitlin Clark before we move on to something that was born out of a pre-show meeting that we had. It was a startling revelation. Not Joe Paterno. Not Joe Paterno. That was a couple of things that I wasn't aware of.

I want to feel bad for a 79-year-old accidentally pooping themselves in public and having to run out of their job, but it's Joe Paterno. Yeah. I feel conflicted as-I will give you license to not feel better for Joe Paterno shaking his pants. I feel conflicted as a human being. I just naturally feel sympathetic towards an elderly person having being an accident publicly and having to run out embarrassed.

I think that's what probably a lot of people are feeling. Also, my main feeling this morning was like, I can't believe you hadn't seen this before. You don't remember this happening. I feel like this was one of those college football things that I remember where I was when it happened.

Where were you? Like, fourth grade?

Yeah.

I feel like there should be the easy solution here is just a high class Porta Potty on each bench. But what's a better look? Jogging away where everyone knows you have to shit or the shot of you entering a Porta Potty on the sideline.

And then not coming out for 10 minutes. Everybody knows.

They have the tent there on the sidelines where you can have a bucket. I'm going to a Panther game next week. Annually, I have this thing called the Kitty Caravan, where me and a large group of friends, and it grows every year, we go to one Panther game that we've identified on the calendar. It's usually a matiné game. We tailgate, we just love our ice cats. Then we go to the game, we inevitably lose because it's the biggest mush out there. We've run into a couple of issues at the Kitty Caravan. I love the facilities. I love my time at Panther Games, but they don't necessarily encourage tailgating, Roy. If you've been to the parking lot, you'll see people tailgating and having a good time, which you won't see are toilets.

No.

There are no toilets. Now, guys, specifically, we can get around that. We can work with that. No problem. You got a tree, you got a car door, you got a gutter, you grassy patch. We'll find ways. Just pull out the wiener and go. But ladies, a lot more difficult. When you're tailgating with seltzers or Miller lights, you got to go after a while, and there is no place to go. I had this very thoughtful Christmas gift that somebody gave me, which is my own portable Porta Potty. It's a tent that people can go into. Sounds gross. Who gave that to you? That's weird. Someone that went to the Kitty Caravan in 2022. I haven't had an opportunity yet to use this yet. It's still in its wrapping. And it struck me yesterday. I've been super excited to use my Porta Potty and take it because this is a practical application. The ladies that are going to this tailgate are going to love the fact that I was this considerate, and now we have a place that's private that they can go to the bathroom if they need to be.

What's it called?

I forget the name. It is a portable Porta Potty. It's like extra Porto Porto, but someone got it online, and it's this pop-up tent that pitches itself with a bucket and some bags. Bags. Some bags.

Who's going to empty that thing?

Because that's what finally dawned on me the other day is, All right, when it's time to go into the game, I've got this piss bucket now that I've got to empty. I've got to put that back in my car because clearly, someone's going to steal my piss bucket.

Yeah, that's yucky. I would leave that outside the car until you got back.

But I put bags around it.

Is this what it looks like? Where would you just put up it on the screen?

That's exactly what it looks like. So here's what I'm thinking.

It's yucky.

I just parked next to a storm drain. I like where your head's at. And I put the tent over the storm drain.

So you're just dumping sewage into the storm drain?

Yeah.

So people enter this little- Where do you think sewage goes? And the whole ground area is just wet.

The Everglades in this situation.

It's not my problem. It's all number one, Jess. This is all number one. I'm sure there's way worse things in that storm drain than- Footalizer. Miller light and deuce pea. Not really my concern here, guys. But is that the move? Because I'm worried about the part that no one's considering, which is putting the bucket back in the car when it's time to go to the game and handle in the bucket. I'm going to have to get rid of this pea at some point. It's going in the storm drain regardless. So do I just cut out the middleman and just put this tent over a storm drain and tell people, Yeah, just go in the drain?

You said a bag's involved, right? Why don't you just put it in the dumpster or the garbage can, I should say?

These aren't really readily...

You want me. A bag of warm...

You want me. It's like a balloon.

I don't think you're supposed to pee in a bag. I think that this is just for number two, this bucket. You shouldn't pee in there, I don't think, right? Come on.

This is on the Panthers. Hey, Panthers, can we get some Porta Potty?

They don't want us to. They don't want you to have Porta Potty. Because very clearly, they would have them if they wanted this to be a thing. And this is their way to dissuade. It's like saying that you have a boat show in town. You can't host the All-Star game. I'm not pissing in this thing. This is their form of oppression.

Is it because they don't make money off of it? So it's like, We don't want people coming in more drunk. That's it. You're going to get drunk enough here.

Bringing their own alcohol.

It doesn't add value to us for you guys just entering the arena more drunk.

It could be a cost thing. I'm not sure. I don't know what the official statement is there, but they've gone several years without having toilets available for the people that want to pull in early and have a big kiddy caravan bash.

I would think it is the cost. First, you got to pay for the disposal, and then people are bringing in their own alcohol, so you're not paying for alcohol in the game.

How exactly would I carry this bag?

I don't know.

Is it like Santa?

Twist-high.

I don't know. I do the Santa and put it over my shoulder.

I feel like you're juggling it down the street trying not to drop it.

It bounces on your back.

I think I'm leaning towards team pull up next to a storm drain.

There's gel that you pour into this thing. You pour this gel into it and it turns the pea into gel. It absorbs the liquid, it would appear. You should see if your kid came with this because I'm looking this up right now. There's also a pool absorbent. It says lemon scent. It It makes it smell good.

It seems like there's-It's going to be one of those scenarios where it's pooh and lemon.

It looks like-Yeah, no. Look, Jess, you can see this right here. Ultra-absorbent to deal. I don't know if I want to. There's the-Poo-pourri. Represents the urine. Then when you put the liquid thing in it, it turns it into gel. So you're not walking around with a bag. So it's like hardened? No, it's gel.

It's like gelatin?

Yeah, gel-OP, it seems like if you put this stuff in it.

That actually seems pretty cool.

I It's science.

But I feel like I'm doing worse to the environment if I'm dumping this sludge.

Well, no, then you would take that and put that in a trash can. I'm going to assume you won't put your pea shell into a sewer green, I don't think.

But do I still do the with it and I slosh it against my back as I carry all this human waste? It could break as I'm pushing it into these... The trash cans there aren't designed for a big sludgy dilatness pea gel.

It's also hot down here. Yeah.

No, there's a lot of- The heat element is grossing out.

I feel like your Kitty Caravan always adds something, and you need to have a pea gel Santa costume for the next year. Then the loser of some bed or something has to be the person that cleans it out, and they go in a yellow Santa suit with the Pjell bag, and then they go and dispose of it. You make it a whole thing.

Is this a party bus that will stay there the entire time and take you guys back after?

No, because the Kitty Caravan, in terms of paid attendance, our group is 23 large, and there's people like you and Roy, I hope.

That aren't going on the Kitty Caravan.

That aren't with our ticket group, but already have tickets to the game, and we'll just be there to-So you guys could pee in this tent? This is exciting. Yeah, you guys are going to enjoy this.

Privacy, yeah.

This pee tent.

Speaking of Santa, if I may make a segue here, Drive to Survive, the new season came out a week ago. Santa's it? There is a scene in it with technically Father Christmas. Oh. And he asked- Chris King. Christian Horner, who's a team principal at Red Bull, he asked his children if Daddy had been naughty the last year. And in hindsight, it was one of the most incredible bits of foreshadowing in the history of that show because Christian Horner recently was accused of misconduct at Red Bull. And something insane happened yesterday in the world of Formula One, which I think people that aren't Formula One fans will find interesting, which is that Christian Horner, who is one of the faces of the sport, he had been accused of misconduct. He was being investigated by the team. The Formula One season starts this weekend. Dnf will be back. Tbd when? A little plug there. But the whole team's in Bahrain for the first race, and they said, Okay, he's We're done with the investigation. Christian's here. He's not going anywhere. We're clearing him, basically. Then an anonymous email gets sent to hundreds of F1 media members and to the heads of F1 with screen grabs of alleged text messages between Christian Horner and a employee of Red Bull.

And this is the alleged wrongdoing that he was being investigated for. And so everyone in F1 is together right now. This was yesterday in Bahrain. They're still there. The race is tomorrow. And no one has been able to verify yet if these text messages are real. There's still journalists working on it, trying to figure out what's what, trying to figure out how to deal with it, how to cover it, essentially, because no one knows who sent the email. Was it the person who's alleged to have been the victim in this case? Is this someone else at Red Bull who thinks the investigation wasn't handled fairly? It's really sketchy. And obviously, there's another person involved whose identity is anonymous, so it has to be taken with some care because they might not have wanted this information out there. But everyone is freaking out about this, and it is quite crazy.

Christian Horner is married to Jerry Halliwell. Ginger Spice, right? Correct. Okay. Married man, family, as you outlined early on. The photos, I imagine, are lude in nature, very inappropriate.

I saw the files that were going around. And again, I don't know what's real and what's not real, but it was a lot of bad shocking things.

So F1 is a global sport, European roots. And when things like this have popped up in soccer, they seem to be behind the times a little bit. They had, as you mentioned, an independent... Well, not independent. The Red Bull owners themselves conducted this first investigation.

There were baristas involved, from what I read.

Okay. So what exactly would... What do you expect the reaction would be from Formula One?

That's the thing. I have no idea.

Nothing like this has ever popped up?

No, there have been several scandals, but I think Formula One has, in the last five years, has changed quite considerably the makeup of who is actually running the sport and who controls the power. I think Christian Horner himself has a lot of power in the paddock. He has a lot of power over being the team principal and running the show for one of the biggest brands in Formula One gives him a lot of power, and he can do a lot of things that maybe other people wouldn't get away with if the allegations are true. I genuinely don't know what's going to happen. But for the first weekend in Formula One, the first race is usually like, it's exciting, but things ramp up throughout the season. This is about as crazy of a story that could happen in the first weekend of Formula One season.

I was just trying to search for punitive precedent. All the media has all these things, so it'll be curious. I do want to to you on the other side about Formula One in general, because it seemed as though the bubble burst on that here, at least stateside. Hey, folks, it's Mike Ryan. Now, you've had the distinct privilege of knowing me for close to 18 years, and you know that I've changed. A lot of my personal life has changed. I've changed as a professional. I am a parent now. My level of involvement in my favorite college football program has also changed. But one thing that hasn't changed for me is my favorite beer. You know when it's real with me. I think you do anyways. And you know how much I love Miller Light. I've loved it forever, really. It's my favorite beer of all time, and it made all the great moments in my life all that much better. And when Miller Light came aboard on our show, I was super stoked about it because I believed in the product, because every time I take a sip of Miller Light, I look around and I think, yeah, this was the right call.

Times change. People like me can change, but you can always enjoy the great taste of Miller Light. Taste like Miller time. To get Miller Light delivered right to your door, visit millerlight. Com/dan, or you can try to find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces. Spring.

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