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This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stukas podcast.

I am a dog lover. I do not know how it is that Jessica came about bringing Willow into the studio with her late in the week. It's something she doesn't do early in the week. She does it late, only when Amin's here. Exactly. Amin is not such a fan of dogs, but Amin doesn't know what I'm about to tell him because he has not heard what CNN is reporting about Joe Biden's dog.

I thought when you said, Amin doesn't know what I'm about to tell him, Willow's here five days a week now. The official mascot of the show, and she gets to sit in this chair on your lap.

How did the decision get made that we are a place that allows dogs? Did you ask anyone permission or did you just bring your dog?

Everyone's really depressed and sad, so I brought her in today.

Doc Rivers over here, just like, How did this decision get made?

Yeah, it's so true.

I don't know how the decision got made. I wasn't asked, and it's okay. If I'd been asked, I would have said it's fine, but I wasn't asked. So I legitimately don't know how the decision was made.

I like that Willow's here. I came in in a real sour mood, and I saw Willow, and it lifted my spirits.

Makes my day.

That's all right.

Tony, you're with.

You're closer. No, I'm on a mean side.

You're on a mean side. Yeah, I'm on a mean side.

Human is for work as dogs are for outside and other things. We belong here.

They belong out there. Hold on, wait. Let's reestablish How do you use this math equation.

I don't think the SAT test works the way that Tony just- You know, it's like the bullet train is going one way, but then another one leaves the other way.

How do you calculate the distance and the speed between it? Humans belong here. Dogs belong out there. Out there. There you go. She's right under me right now, by the way. She's sleeping- He loves Tony. An inch away from my foot.

I have enjoyed her company and her presence, but you did also make the decision it's only late in the week, correct? Because I have not seen Willow here earlier.

It's only when I need help with dog care, No.

Okay. The question I wanted to ask Amine, because you can't believe what Joe Biden's dog is doing.

The dog can't just sit by itself for a few hours?

She was home alone for so long yesterday, and we get our schedules at the last minute every a week, so it's not enough time for me to plan out who's watching the dog.

I didn't ask who's watching the dog. I said the dog can't spend a few hours on its own?

No. There's a limit to how long you could leave your dog alone.

What's the limit?

It depends on the dog.

Your dog.

I don't like She's giving her more than five or six hours. That's a long time. Yesterday, we were here for a long time, and I felt really bad. She was really sad when I got home. She was crying.

She doesn't remember. But three minutes later, she does not remember.

That's not true.

It's always the first time for her. That's why she's sad. She's like, She's never coming back. Because she cannot process the idea that, Relax, this is the rhythms of life.

She's at work. She'll be back home.

No, it's always brand new. Ten minutes away, six hours away. It feels the same. It's not like she's checking her clock like, You know what?

I'm not in the mood for this bit today. I'm not going to lie. It is a bit. It is a bit, Tony. It is a bit. Dan starting the show with, Who said Jessica could bring her dog here when he literally said, I would love if you brought your dog every day. To me, a week a week ago. I know. I am not in the mood for this this morning. Let's peel back the curtain. Everyone likes when the dog is here. This is not real drama. This is not real tension. Everyone likes the dog, including Amine. Cut the transition.

Got the transition.

I am not in the mood to be bullied by a mean about the dog. We need color cars. He likes the dog.

Jessica, two minutes. Get out of here. Thank you. Take the dog with you. Take the dog with you. Take Willow with you. No, leave Willow here. You are not allowed to pull back the curtain that violently at the beginning of a show. Law and order. Furthermore, I have indeed said I love dogs around here all the time, but I was never asked, and I don't know what our corporate policy is on this. I'm still getting to the point, though, that I'm thinking is going to bother Amin because I don't believe Amin's bother with dogs is contrived in any way. This story, I think, is going to bother him, which is that Joe Biden's This dog, named Commander, has bitten at least 24 secret service members. No. If this dog... The CNN report, if you believe CNN report, if this dog were a human being, it would no longer have freedom. It is taking an attack to our secret service that hasn't been seen by any human being in the history of acts of terrorism.

Dan, if it was in La Sawacera, that dog would be incinerated by now. You know that, right? Like, incinerated.

Ashes.

You can't allow this. You got to get that dog. After the second one. You got to get the second one. They're calling the house A, Bacá. That White House needs to be cleared of a dog that is attacking secret service members. That is not okay, and I'm a dog lover.

This is proof that the dog has no clue. It's like every time is the first time, a guy, and it bites him. It doesn't know because it's not supposed to know.

That is an uncommonly bad dog, but is it- It's not a bad dog.

It's a dog that exhibits bad behavior.

No, it's a bad dog.

Why don't you- Oh, my God. That's him? Yes. Oh, No, he got to go.

That is Commander. That's a German Shepherd, right?

Commander and what? The SS? Good Lord. Look at that thing. That dog's grandfather- Can you get sued by a dog? That dog's grandfather, I guarantee, Was in Alabama in the '60s.

He is a German Shepherd.

I had a German shepherd, and respectfully, those dogs are mean.

You need this information, given what I've just told you? The Secret Service has a problem that the President's dog, it's not nepotism, but evidently, the President's dog is given a freedom in the White House that no one's ever had in the White House.

Can we bring the picture up again, please? I need to see this dog. I need to look in its eyes like Dan Dackage, and There it is. Okay. Yeah, that's a racist dog. Evil look in his eyes. Look at them eyes. It's looking at me like, Hey, I see a black guy. That's what it's saying right now.

Does he have another dog named Chief?

Does he?

What? Because it would be a cute thing. Commander and Chief. I know it's Commander in Chief. That's right. A lot of people don't know that. In fact, I didn't for 36 years.

You think a lot of people think it's Commander and Chief? Yeah.

I thought it was just an N.

I definitely thought that. That's the Commander and Chief right there.

You know how Commander in Chief? You have the N. It's Toys All Us.

Yeah, like a two for one. That's actually how it's written.

Commander N.

Commander and Chief. Commander and Chief.

It sounds like a hamburger stand of some sort. Surf and Turf.

They can shake.

I want to get to here and show the audience what is beefcake that I was not especially prepared for when rookie Jaime Haukez of the Miami Tommy Heat was featured on just Mexican GQ on an inflatable Flamenco in a pool, and he's given off a whole lot of heartthrob, a whole lot of Latin heartthrob. I was not aware that he had that in him. I've been watching him play. He's got a real opportunity here to be a Latin American crossover star if he's going to embrace this part of of being Hispanic and being shirtless in the pool. We do not have a lot of NBA players who can do what he is doing right there to bring Latin America into the game.

He made a huge mistake during the dunk contest, and I know what he was going for. What was he going for? Well, if you watch the LED screen, there was a whole bunch of Mexican basketball players that had played in the association prior to, and he was going for a moment, and he had the cultura jersey, and he went with a backwards hat. It was a huge mistake to wear the hat because I think what was so esthetically pleasing about his first dunk where he dunked over Shaq was that for the first time, really, in Slam Dunk history, you had these flowing locks that helped the esthetic. Then he put a hat on and it ruined everything, and he didn't make it to the second round.

You think the part that ruined it was the hat holding back the locks?

Yes. As opposed to- I think it changes the entire dynamic. Big mistake going with the hat.

As opposed to it's just a dumb hat. I was there, Mike. I swear to God, everyone turned to look at each other, so he just wore a hat. Because that's the other thing.

Well, the dunk wasn't bad.

The dunk was very pedestrian- All the dunks were bad. I did not want to do this, but I'm going to do this in my wrinkled-ass shirt today, because now as I look at myself on the screen, it did not- You claimed that the camera- I told you when you came in that the shirt was too wrinkled and you said, It's fine, I don't care.

And now you look like you pulled it out of a dirty hamper.

He told me that the camera doesn't see wrinkles.

It doesn't, but these cameras do, apparently. Damn, these 8K cameras.

That's insane.

You look like a security guard. Where did you get that shirt from?

It looks like one of the David Samson shirts.

Relax, relax.

All of you, relax. So Windows 95 promo shirt.

Why wouldn't cameras pick up wrinkles? You guys are- Why do you think every news anchor has Botox?

That's not fun.

That's actually pretty funny.

That's mean.

What?

How dare you? Those people work hard. They work hard.

I'm not judging them for it. I'm just saying, why does everyone on TV get Botox, if not because the cameras do pick up wrinkles?

We all told you the shirt was wrinkled, and you told everybody because you'd just been on a Golic show that the camera doesn't pick it up. That's what you were telling everybody. The camera removes wrinkles. But you looked like you pulled it right out of a hamper or that you slept in it.

No. If I slept in it, it actually wouldn't be as wrinkled. It's actually more wrinkled.

That's something I would have-He dunked over Shaq.

Okay, so here's the thing. I interviewed Hami Haukez before the dunk contest for SiriusXM radio, and I said, Hey, man, I got to be honest. I love your game. You're one of my... Because I have a job? Oh, because I interviewed Hami Haukez. It's my fault. I said, Look, man, you're one of my favorite rookies in this class. I think you're a great player. I think you got a great career ahead of you. I won't lie. When I heard your name in the dunk contest, I was like, Is he a dunker that? And so I said, Prove to me, talk to me why I'm wrong, right? I'm light-hearted. I got a smile on my face. He did not take that comment well. He broke eye contact and looked off into the distance and said something to the effect of You must not be familiar with my game. And I was like, You know what, man? I look forward to Saturday night and be like, Wow, I was so wrong. And watching him in that dunk content with them basic-ass dunks? Himey, I love you as a player. Let me do a CV. I love you as a player, brother.

He dunked on Shaq. We've seen people dunk on Shaq before. That's not new.

I mean, someone dunked over a seated Ky Sonette and got a higher score. Bullshit.

You know why? Because he pandered. I'll get to jail in a minute. Who did he pander?

He did a regular ass dunk and covered his eyes afterwards. It was ridiculous. The problem that Hymehake has had was he dunked over Shaq for the first dunk. They're like, We can't go too crazy here.

No, he did a basic dunk. I've seen Nate Robinson dunk over Dwight Howard, man. He dunked over Shaq. It's not a basic dunk. It's a basic dunk. It's been done before. It's a basic dunk, right?

I'm not saying- I mean, respectfully, almost every dunk has been done before.

No, no, no, no, no, before we put him in the Hall of Fame for winning?

Good question.

He's already said that he's not going to do it again.

Harold Minor would like a word if you want to put him in the Hall of Fame.

This is a things to ponder topic if I've ever heard one.

But to my point, he had dunks that were super basic, including the one with the hat. The hat dunk, I was like, You can't be offended at me and not do some crazy 360 between the legs thing. You have to be able to dunk like that in order to be offended. My assertion that, Are you a dunker like that? Now, Jalen Brown, he pandered when he did the Dominic Wilkins dunk. After that, Nek was in the tank. That's all he had to do. All he had to do is pander to someone on the panel, and he's done. That dunk he did where he covered his eyes well after the dunk was completed, I I thought Cedric Sabalas with the see-through blindfold was bad, but this guy's ridiculous. But, Haukes, where are you? Over here. I love you as a player, bro. I'm excited to see where your career goes. But don't ever, ever look at me like I'm crazy when I ask about your dunking, bona fides, brother. Wow.

He did go viral because when it was announced that Jaime Haukes was in the dunk contest, I think a lot of people had your reaction. Then people started posting highlights from previous dunk competitions, and you realize, Oh, Jaime actually does have that in his bag.

I'm not saying he's a bad athlete. I'm saying dunk contest athlete is a different beast.

Yeah. So it was a dunk with long hair, and you think that dunk is bad because he wore a hat. I'm telling you right now.

We all I'm wondering what the significance of the hat was.

You guys have wandered away from him giving off beefcake in a cover shoot. I know magazines, nobody cares about magazines anymore, but no, there haven't been a lot of athletes in the NBA who can cross over to Latin America this way.

Right, which is why I brought back to the hair. Eduardo Nahra. The Don Juan DeMarco type dunk.

Eduardo Náhara would like a word.

He would definitely like a word.

He was honored prior to that dunk, and it would have been great if we saw some long, flowing locks.

Daniel Santiago would like a word. Peter John Ramos would like a word. Ramos?

Ramos. Ramos. He has a chance to be better than any of those players that you mentioned.

Better than Peter John Ramos?

Exciting as a Latin star that brings basketball to Latin America.

Carlos Orroyo would like a word.

The GOAT. Still doing it, by the way.

Al Horford's Latino.

Yes, he is. Dominican. Carl Anthony Towns, Dominican. Are we going to explore racism in the Latin American world and how people like Carl Anthony Towns aren't recognized? As Latino for GQ, right? Are we going to do that? What's that accent that you're doing there?

I'm not recognizing that accent. I'm not recognizing that accent.

Cubano. Luis Scola would like a word, too.

Luis Scola.

Can I tell you about the time I went Houston when Scola was a rocket and I didn't have to pay for a drink. I had long hair. I looked a lot like Louis Scola, and it felt racist.

Walter Erman had long, flowing locks.

Tony just said something that skittered past when he said Carlos Arroyo is still doing it. He is, right? At a gym somewhere in Flagame, he's still doing it. At 48 years old, he's going to the FIU gym and putting up 45.

Putting up numbers, making people look Silly.

I can't wait for that episode of the OG podcast. The Carlos Arroyo sit down. We're already working. We've gone through every point guard in need history. We'll end up on Carlos Arroyo.

We are going to play from that podcast for Paul pierce later in the show, Udonis Haslem saying that he would fight Paul pierce and Kevin Garnett in a grocery store. See how that one lands with Paul pierce.

I can't believe Paul pierce is on this show. I thought better of it.

Carlos Delfino, the bluest of eyes. You get lost in them when you look.

You're not in charge No, I'm stepping out.

I'm boycotting the Paul pierce. I'm not going to be here for that. Paul pierce sucks. No, not doing this. Not playing the game.

It's like I'm moving up, Dano.

Yeah, you can sit here in this chair. I'll judge you for it. Anyone who wants to sit through that interview that claims to have rooted for the Miami heat, I will hold it against you.

Pablo Prigioni had this rugged, manly man.

He's taking your cookies. Bully.

I thought he's Italian, isn't he?

No, he's Argentian. I mean, Argentinian.

I mean, you know how that goes down.

I mean, World War II. There's a lot of light out of there.

All of a sudden, Argentina. You watched X-Men, right?

Cut open the cake, it's there.

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Don Lebatard. Enough with the DJ Khaled collaborations with people that are hot right now. We want to see DJ Khaled work with some of the great singers of yesteryear. Can you imagine how great it would be if DJ Khaled started bringing out special guests onto the stage, and one of them was Brian Adams. Hey, everyone.

It's Liza Manali. Stugatz. Arbor Streisand, yeah.

Elton John, It's Your Song.

Andrea Bocelli.

Another one, Tony Bennett, Ricky Avalon.

Thomas Dolby is blinding you with science. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

I want to put up on the screen here a back and forth that Adam Beesley is having with Tyreek Hill, because Adam Beesley, the NFL reporter who began at the Miami Hérald, is saying that the thing that you can't say, but everyone knows is true, is that you have to sell on Tyreek Hill now. You have to trade him now as you have the value on him now. We were talking yesterday about the Florida Panthers and how they did something revolutionary, which is they had the best offense they've ever had, one of the best offenses in league history. They're like, That doesn't work during the playoffs. They changed the whole thing by trading the key component. Tyreek Hill objected to Adam Beesley's report by locking him and saying, What a swell guy. Look at all the GM opportunities that are coming your way. But the Miami Dolphins, what are you guys laughing about?

I mean, is he taking a shot at Adam Beesley for not being considered as a general manager Sure. That's not usually the path.

Look at this guy. He'll be cheap of Nass and notes.

I know Peter Schrager's agent tried that move once.

You guys say that, but did you see Mark Murphy, the President of the packers, got an application from somebody who's only experienced as general manager was his own fantasy team, and Mark Murphy wrote back a handwritten letter, rejecting him? It's a nice touch.

At least he got a letter act.

Stop giving these people attention, man. Mark Murphy, stop giving these people attention. Now the guy posted on the internet, now it's a big deal. They tell, Oh, Murphy wrote me a letter, handwritten. Shut up, bum. Oh, I play fantasy football. Wouldn't it be funny if I applied for a job with the back? Oh, God, let me do it. Hold on. Wait, wait. Let me tell you guys. To whom it may concern. Oh, my God, this is so cool. They're never going to respond. It's just going to be funny. Maybe all of a sudden, somebody is going to be like, Who is this person?

I'm actually getting roastered by a guy in a shirt this wrinkled today.

Oh, man.

Is that Tetris on your chest? They're like, What is that supposed to be?

Don't worry about it, man. Either on the in or the out. On the in, you know what it is.

On the out. Star Wars.

I hate when you get your credibility undermined by the searing sickle of a cut. You can't criticize anybody in a shirt that wrinkled. It's so wrinkled. She's not wrong.

It's wrinkling more. As the show goes on, it's getting more and more wrinkled as this dog is now standing up.

That's right. Willow runs the place.

I've seen Planet of the Aves.

You should have seen what the dog did earlier today during the meeting. It took a dog. I won't even speak about that. Really?

Oh, my God. You can tell them.

What happened?

Jess was there standing about to talk about the meeting and stuff, and Willow got on her hinds and started making some gestures.

She humped the shit out of me in front of everyone.

I was very close to the situation, arms reach, and I was very disturbed.

Now, that's something to tell HR about.

Lucy, I have felt for you over the last couple of days because it feels like sports is bleeping with you, and it feels like everything happening around college football is being done simply to bother you. It seems like you're getting an unusual amount of unrest around everything that's happening around college football.

Thank you. The college football world does revolve around me, and I'm happy someone finally admitted it. We talked a little bit about it yesterday with the college football playoff coming up with their new system. Yesterday after that, it came out that they were like, Well, we should just move it up to 14 teams. Why not? We're already at 12. It's three minutes from yesterday. It's...

Do we need to breathe? Hold on. Let's breathe. Let's breathe around. We got to settle.

Who's going to lead us?

That's all I could do. Breathe out. The College Football Playoff Committee is so stupid. Breathe in. Breathe out. I don't deserve any of this.

Breathe in.

God, I wish I would hire a good offensive coordinator. Breathe out. Are we feeling any better?

Are you? I don't know. You seem agitated.

No, not even a little bit. Because I think it just... I sat here yesterday with the news that they might expand it, which nobody wanted 12, so no one wants 14. I just wish the people in charge of this sport gave a shit about the sport. That's all I want. I want the people who are in charge of who goes into the playoff to watch college football. I want people who make the rules to care about the athletes, to care about the future of the sport. The more we're expanding this playoff, people are not going to be happy. I think it's worse for the athletes. I think it's just worse in general. I'm like, Don't take this from me. This is my thing. This is what makes me happy. Back off.

Let me be in charge. I wonder, Saban now wants to be in charge. I do wonder- He's too old. As the popularity continues to increase- You should run for Senate. How and when there will be the long-term ramifications that come with every choice being greedy about everything. In the short term, there are no ramifications. In short term, it's chaos, it's content, and the sport keeps getting more popular. But I have no understanding of what the long term ramifications are.

Not another empowerment greed spin on this. The games are awesome. Games mean something. There it is. The bowl games suck. We all know the bowl games suck. Let's get two more meaningful weeks of football games.

I'm sorry, did you watch the famous toastery walk?

That one was actually quite good.

There are a lot of good bowl games this year, sir.

There's a huge wide open lane of shitty bowl games, and it occupies roughly a week and a half of the sports calendar.

It's the best week and a half of the sports calendar.

Let's replace that week with games that matter. I love that they actually came to a conclusion pretty... Oh, five and seven? Yeah, that's good. Twelve teams? This is actually not as bureaucratic as we all expected. They actually landed on this. They had a great meeting. Then someone at the very end, presumably a television exec, said, What if we added two more? Just two. Just marinate on that a little bit.

I think the ask, at least from me, specifically, is let's try out twelve. If it doesn't work, maybe we talk about reformatting. But we have We haven't even tried 12 yet.

I think we should try 17. I don't know how it works. Just do it.

The two that are left are going to be like, Oklahoma State and Kentucky. No disrespect to Oklahoma State or Kentucky, but come on. I don't want this. No one wants this. We wanted six or maybe eight, but you said, No, let's just do 12. Okay, you came up with a good system.

17. That's the number.

I just want to find out in a newspaper. I want to go back, all the way back, Jack.

Dan That's a lot of hard.

Ravens could double up the Colts, and they are good against every team except the Steelers.

That's a 14-point win there for the Ravens. Yeah. Double up, two touchbacks. I think double up is a score. If the Colts have 10 and you double them up, you score 20. I don't think double up- That's how you do it. I do it differently. Okay, but I don't think that double them up. You explained it to me as if I was supposed to- You have your way, I have my way. I understand, but that's not technically doubling up. I think you used the phrase wrong or something happened. Double up plus four. Yes, exactly. Okay, that's what he meant, of course.

Two touch downs.

You never cease to amaze me.

He's amazing. He really is. He's breathtaking in his stupidity. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stukatz. I could not summon anything that felt like enthusiasm from Amin yesterday. Amin, a soccer fan, about the fact that the MLS season was starting with a single game with Miami having the most star power, Inter Miami, having the star power and the most interest in the league, the highest ticket prices. Every game that they have is going to be a spectacle, and they add to it the expectations now of the roster is evidently very strong, as talented as any in the league when you're just talking about names, names that have some age on them. And then they win last night, two to nothing. Mike, you didn't like the gouging around the ticket prices. You care about soccer very deeply. You care about this team. You've cared about this team. You've followed this team when this team is bad. They have a great atmosphere at the games. It's different than just about anything other than the baseball Caribbean series down here in terms of flavor and volume and party and ethnicity. Did you go last night?

No. I supported my Miami Hurricanes stellar effort against another fellow Blueblood and the Duke Blue Devils. I actually got to see my team lose twice. Went to a baseball game prior to. Had a milkshake. We were winning. Left that. Where did you get? I had the JD. I like the JD. It's got Nutella in it. Then I saw Duke Beat the brakes off of Miami. I did not renew my Inter-Miami season tickets because of the price. It's the most expensive ticket in global soccer. Mls is not that product. I think part of the appeal in MLS is that you get bang for your buck. I'm actually going to take the opportunity here to talk about our partners over at Game Time, because what I did yesterday was I ran to Game Time to see if my decision to not renew my tickets would be validated because I was doing the math and knowing where the secondary market was going with Inter Miami tickets, I knew that I could have essentially the same season tickets for half the price. We're one game in. It was a kickoff game. You'd think there would be a lot of interest there.

There wasn't. Really? There were great deals on Game Time, great flash deals. I got to see what my seat would look like and all that great stuff. No hidden fees, all upfront pricing. I also checked some of the competitors out there in Game Time did have some of the best prices. I want you in the listening audience real quick to listen to this Live Read ad before I get to MLS. What? This is an app? Take the guesswork, How to Buying Tickets with Game Time. Thank you so much for your support. I've heard back from Game Time, and they're really happy with how you guys are heating my advice. I'm happy with that. I appreciate it. Download the Game Time app, create an account, use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code Dan for $20 off. Download Game Time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. If you find a lower price somewhere else, Game Time will match it, and then some. I love GameTime. So here's what's going on with Inter Miami. Boy, did they get those prices wrong? Did they get those prices wrong?

There is no way people are going to pay those prices. And I feel bad for the people that actually did re-up and decide, Yeah, two and a half times what I was paying is totally rational. As we don't get public subsidies and taxpayer money going to this stadium.

137% more than the defending champions is what they're charging for tickets in a market that has supported some soccer occasionally, but not there, not that far from Miami.

Yeah, they were touting that the season tickets sold out before, and you can just say stuff. You don't know what's... That's just the allotment that they had. They said, It's a sellout. I think there's a lot of holes that you poke here. The game time map is not telling lies when it comes to the interest.

Counterpoint, David Grutman, Will Smith, and Chad Ochocinco.

That's all that matters, I guess. Come on, man. But- Groot. Hospital. I think MLS has a lot of issues going on. No one really cared that there were scab referees calling that game yesterday.

Including one named Jonathan Wiener, apparently. No way. That's what he is. Did you guys see this? Someone tweeted this at us. There was a scab ref named Jonathan Wiener.

Was he smoking heaters in the middle of the game?

I think All sides, buddy. Excuse me, $5.

He had action on the game and was reffing it. It was a huge conflict.

I think MLS is at an inflection point right now because they brought in all these big names. Miami is a jewel of a franchise for where we're headed, which is in 2026, where I challenge every legacy media talent to bone up on the sport and not embarrass themselves because it is the biggest thing in the world, literally, that is coming here in 2026. Miami is a huge part of That competition, and this franchise that is presently playing in Fort Lauderdale, is a huge part of that ramp up. Mls is confusing because of all the Cup competitions, and I don't want to get into how there's four different competitions There's four of them. There's four of them. There's four of them.

We don't want to do that again, right?

There's four of them. But there is something really bad going on right now that is confusing to explain. I'm going to do my very best. Please. The oldest Cup competition in this country, it's over 100 years old, the US Open Cup, which is open to all divisions of professional soccer in this country, is like MLS at an inflection point, in that MLS doesn't make enough money off of it, so they're not going to send the top tier over there. Now, there's some negotiation still ongoing, and they may make it optional. But what you have is the most prestigious cup competition in this country, a country that doesn't have a proud soccer tradition, actually has something with legitimate history behind it. And because it wasn't made for television or streaming rights deal isn't up to snuff, the top tier of professional soccer in this country is opting out on it, saying, No, we'll just opt for League's Cup, a two-year-old competition between us and Liga Mechis, created by Apple, made for television, more money in that. Who do you think you are? Who does anyone think that... First off, the goal in Inter Miami charging the ticket prices that they do more than Manchester City does.

Erling Haaland in the FA Cup will stroll into Lutentown or Crawley.

That's a great sentence.

And he will play a game, and he won't complain about it. Who the hell are you, MLS, to complain about playing Charleston battery? We're trying to grow the game. It is an important part in the calendar for lower divisions of soccer in this country when a big MLS club does make the trip to Charleston battery or Indy 11. The beauty and prestige The advantage of these cup competitions is that you can have these giant killing moments. That turns new markets into more passionate soccer fans, and it's a wasted opportunity. And this one, damn it, I'm not going to do the Dan Levatard thing. It all comes down to greed. Wow. Mike- This is not a time to be greedy. You don't want that spin, though, Mike. There is more... If everyone just handles the next two years right and doesn't try to gouge its customers and really takes their time to invest in this product in this country, you have something in the World Cup in 2026 that can set up generational wealth for players to come down the road. You just can't screw it up before you get there. I feel like US soccer, which is bending the knee at MLS because they make so much money off of MLS that they almost have to, US soccer is really blowing this opportunity that they have in 2026 before we even get there.

Mike, in the words of Jean Wilder in Blazing Saddles, what did you expect when they got messy? Welcome, Sunny. Make yourself at home. Marry my daughter. These are simple folk. They were going to turn him into the biggest cash machine that league has ever seen. I mean, this was all what it was about. You thought it was about, Hey, guys, I think we should get messy to make soccer bigger. No. They said we should get messy so we can make millions of dollars at any opportunity to exhibit him Where they're not making money is not an opportunity that they're interested in.

I mean, in your words, I knew that they would turn him into a cash cow. I just didn't think to the extent of two and a half times your ticket price. Of course. And to be the most expensive club soccer ticket on the planet. You can get hospitality packages for Real Madrid. Mike, they are- For a much better buck.

Mike, they are banking on American bandwagonism. They knew, Hey, are most of the soccer fans of this country like Amin? Rational, calm people who say, Hey, the guy's good. He's no Diego Maradona. He's no Diego Maradona. No, they're like, Everyone's like, Oh, my God, he's the best player ever. Give me all. Take all my money. That's what they were banking on. And they were right.

Didn't they, Apple, stop with the free trials, the T-Mobile, the T-Mobile links, all of that stuff. Messi was not free to anybody last night, correct? There were no abilities to watch that game live anymore with deals the way they were doing with the soft sale at the end of last year on a last-place team.

There are some opportunities to watch MLS on broadcast television. There's still carve-outs in their deal. But yeah, that's... God, a soccer fan in this country has it pretty freaking bad. You got to pay. I literally have to subscribe to every streaming service there is. If I want to watch South American Soccer, I'm subscribing to the streaming services you've never heard of because I want to watch this game. I pay $300 a month to to watch soccer. It's not all consolidated in one place. And I'll support MLS. I think the Apple model is a fascinating one. I want it to work even though I'm the person that suffers for it because I'm a huge soccer fan. But I do think that they should open up the pathway here and make it easier to follow. And then after 2026, cash out. I think if you approach the next two years the right way, you really make this more of an inclusive event, and you get people really excited to learn more about it so that you can talk about things like the US Open Cup and not see your entire teammates totally check out because it's just not something they want to give any bandwidth to.

Not to sound like David Samson here, Mike, but I don't really think anyone cares about the American soccer fans' ease in following the sport. They really just care about your money and see dollar signs right in front of their faces with all of this. I think the same conversation we're happening with college football, they don't really care about the college football playoff games. They really care about being able to sell an extra playoff game to a network, and that network, maybe being able to sell it to another network.

It's a lot of revenue. You know from going through an academy system how rife with price gouging this sport is in this country. The beautiful thing about soccer and why it's the global phenomenon it is and why it's the biggest thing to take our time away from our everyday normal lives, why the globe's the biggest pastime is, it's incredibly easy. You can do it on any field in America. Sandy lots. You don't even need a ball. You don't even need a ball. You just get socks and roll them off.

This has been the complaint about youth soccer in America from a lot of people for years and why I think it reached an inflection point this summer with the US women's national team flopping in the World Cup because it is so expensive to play soccer in this country. There is a massive barrier to entry, and it's expensive to be a fan of soccer in this country, too, now.

We have that tired conversation where someone will put out a graphic of LeBron playing goalie, and what if the best athletes in America played soccer? Now you're talking.

Hold on. Lebron at goalie.

Odell at the striker. Okay, keep going. They had access to basketball, and even that, you could speak to the youth system over there and how corrupt that has become. Shit, man.

Now, my kid's in it.

Soccer has become... It's almost equestrian compared to where it is the rest of the planet. You don't have the stories of someone coming out of favela, out of nowhere, to rise to prominence and set up generational wealth for their families. Because in order to get anywhere in this country, in order to develop, your dad has to pay $40,000 so you can play with a traveling eight-year-old team.