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Welcome, Dan Levy, to really being honest about just a giant piece of shit to the big, silly Bald Eagles, a podcast exclusive that none of our bosses ask for more support, more work, less pay.

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I haven't stopped talking in a month.

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I mean, I tell you, just when you thought the show couldn't be more dilutive than last time I listened to this show. I haven't listened for years.

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Now here's the marching band. No way am I missing something.

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What am I missing? The end of the story that face Chris Fallick. It's Fallica he made on the penis and the habitual liar.

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I didn't ask for any of us for all of it.

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The big story.

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I'm Chris Codi BSP and who got you made your first around the horn appearance in a while as things try and get a little more and more normal. You did it here from the studio and I'm pretty sure you were saying that you took a shower in the sink. Do I have that right?

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Yeah, I took a sink shower. Yeah, I wore a hat during the show yesterday. I need to get my hair right. And, you know, I just I stuck my hands in the sink, got them really wet, threw it on my hair and walked right into the studio and did around the horn. And I crashed it. All right.

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I need to explain to the audience here. And Jim Brockmeier is going to join us at the end of the big suer. You're going to want to stick around for that. But I want to explain to the audience the majestic wonder of the mighty struggle, because I love that he's always in character, even when he's not in character, because the character is actually him. And so he goes on to go around the horn, makes a mess of around the horn, is cocky and swaggering on around the horn while instead of wearing his hat that is covered in all sorts of sweat.

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He has bathed in a sink here. And I need to explain, Mike, we need to explain. All of us need to explain what this bathroom here at the Clevelander that we share is because Stukas has access to a hotel room. I'm not sure why he didn't take a shower.

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I was looking for you. You have the key, the one and only key you had already you had already. That's the premise.

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Godse Everyone had been given a key and access to that room. That room is for everyone. And the key when I came in here after doing highly questionable was on my computer.

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It was just sitting here with, I might add, your Bullseye Dart board and a whole bunch of helmet's. The key was here right in front of everybody.

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OK, well, listen, you know, I'm hesitant. I don't know which key is what. You know, I had a key. I put it next to a couple of pieces of plastic in my wallet and then all of a sudden the key, stop working. I don't want to touch your key because of what's going on with covid.

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There's a lot of OK there. And they're all like, be careful. Yes, they're all pivoting lies.

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Amazing because he's so gifted at just being able to weave an instantaneous tapestry of lies. But just understand that it wouldn't have actually been very hard for Stuart to take a shower in a shower. Yes. And I Mike, I need you to help me explain what's going on with that sink and that bathroom here at the Clevelander, because that sink gives very little water. Your hands have to be in a particular place and taking a shower. Even someone your size in that sink is an effort like that.

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Would take a minute.

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It took me about fifteen minutes. Just say, you know, that's honestly the most amazing part of this whole thing for me, because go to that bathroom regularly, not as regularly as I had hoped, but that's another story. Be careful, Mike. There have often been times where my hands are underneath this faucet for what feels like an eternity. And if I get some water, it's just a little squirt. I just can't figure it out. I get frustrated.

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I just end up hanging, sanitizing myself back in the studio. This brings up a major issue I've had for a long time with the sink industry and the fosset industry that I think needs to be addressed and I'm glad we're here today. It's an important conversation, Holmesville, and I am glad we're having.

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Well, here's the thing. And you guys are aware of this. Sync's especially in public places, the faucets don't reach far enough out. So when you go to wash your hands, you have to be touching the back of the sink. Now, sinks have a big bowl usually, right? I feel like it's not that difficult to make a faucet that reaches a quarter to halfway into the sink. I don't have these giant hands that would take up an entire sink.

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I can work around it, but these little faucets in the sinks that just do a little. A little. Basically, like a water fountain that you drink from that just shoots a little coming out into the sink where you have to be touching the back of the thing and there's not enough water coming out. Why are faucets and sinks not better proportionally? Why do faucets not go further into a sink? Does anyone else have this issue? It seems like I'm alone on this.

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Well, what not what I think people would be in agreement on is all of this stuff can be annoying. And I also think that we know the reason these things do a lot of water is to save water because you can't have public sinks just running all day because somebody was selfish and irresponsible and just left the water running. So you need a sink that gives you just a little bit of water. But I don't know that I'm answering Billy's question because he's asking about the proportion of these things.

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Well, now someone controls the water bill. Back in the day, I used to control the amount of water. I used to turn it on. I used to turn it off. I used to control the pressure. Now, in order that you stick your hand onto the thing and they send that as much water, they feel like send it out. And usually it's not a lot. I love I love that you have a guy. There's someone doing this.

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I love that you have a committee of they who are just giving you a cup of water anyway before I'll get back.

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You believe it's not a person, Dan? You think that it's actually a little sensor that you pass and then all of a sudden it turns on no way in hell because sometimes you go like this 30 times before and those are the worst I've ever seen. Is there somebody back there in some of these places that has a little switch that's turning on and off the water and they just mess with you? That's what's going on. Come on, wake up.

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Then I really fell asleep. I mean, you finally hit the nail on the head, Billy. It's the annoying, like having to do like thirty seconds of waving before you finally get water out of there. That's what I did.

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I think it is patently ridiculous to think that there's a person back there controlling the water. However, there is a person back there recording my every conversation in front of that think they're neglecting their water duties to make sure that they're recording everything.

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But I want to get back to where we were. So at that sink, how would you other otherwise explain or describe that bathroom to the audience? Again, a reminder, Brockmeyer going to join us at the end of this. You don't want to miss Brockmeyer when he makes an appearance around here. Orange you described as orange.

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Yeah, I was going to say orange and Formica. So it's orange or my I want you.

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So I just want to explain to everyone, because Stuart is already truth be told, Stuart is tired. He's in a conflicted place because he badly wants television appearances, but he doesn't actually want to do it anymore, like in terms of the amount of effort that goes into it.

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He just wants the fame with being on TV, but he doesn't want to actually end.

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At the end of the day, he's tired and he doesn't want to sit. So this looks like it looked at one time in our lives like the top of the sports food chain. But now we live inside it. And so Stewart walks down a sad hallway to a sad bathroom to be in a sad janitor's closet to do around the horn after bathing in a sink. So I want to explain to everybody what the top of sports looks like now that we have climbed here.

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Just the general sadness of everything that surrounds you before you do around the hall.

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I'm applying my own makeup. I mean, there is so much sadness involved leading up and back when I get to the show and you're trying to light your dream come true. It's what you always wanted, except that you wanted so much until the lights go on.

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We are so not the top. I thought this might actually be the top. Stupid me. I interviewed for my Chelsea podcast. I interviewed Chris Fowler. That's coming out this week. That guy is at the absolute top talking PJ's. I'm talking multiple houses. He told me a story where he watched the Champions League final in 2012 that Chelsea won at Sheryl Crow's house. He celebrated by jumping out of Sheryl Crow's pool vascular. And Chris, I told you about this Instagram of Chris Fowler.

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My feeling I follow. It's the best post game show in America. Chris Fowler's Instagram. He does the subtle flex. And I let him know, hey, you do the thing on purpose, right where the camera angle is shooting up at the cabinet. And then increasingly, you see me after and me after and me after and me also who pierce tequila with meatballs. It's a very weird decision. Bye bye. Chris Fowler. I guess Dan does, but this guy, that guy, he's at the top, you know, at the top.

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Well, the way that he just conducts himself in general as it regards television, because when you were you were directing that at us, you're not at the top. He's bathing in a sink. But in terms of the amount of work and respect that he applies to his craft, we're getting about what we deserve. Yes. Showering in a sink in a janitor's closet with no prep going there to ruined reality show.

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You're right. You know, they Fallas ever had to throw his hands in the sink. What? The hair? A little bit. I guarantee you, Mike. I guarantee you he's down. Yes, he's here. You know how long he's been doing this? Now I'm with Billy. His hair doesn't move, you shower in a sink, he showers in Sheryl Crow swimming pool. I imagine I imagine when he came out of Sheryl Crow swimming pool, his hair looked exactly the same as it does every every time I see my duties cut, the vein popping out of his arm, or there's going to be video of this interview.

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I'm like, OK, today was back in bicep day. And he responded every day, his bicep day. He looks the part he famously and he revealed this confirmed the legends that I've heard. Remember when he hosted College Gameday big shoes to fill for his service and he's filled in remarkably prompter or no prompter, no prompter. Get out of here. No Wampler. He's an excellent television.

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We know this. Look, there are a handful of people. I think the gods. I think people because because we make this look so stupid and because you do things like take a shower in a sink before going on around the horn, I think people think that the doing of television is easy and A, it's not. B, I don't like it. C, it is a skill set that requires enormous talent to become on television. The way Chris Fowler is, the way Keith Olbermann is, the way Mike Tirico is best among them I've ever seen in my life is Bob Costas just the doing of television where you when you give me a moment that you've seen any one of those dudes flustered, I, I will start sweating immediately on television if I feel how terrible things are going.

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I mean, we had the pink guy situation. I was going to say his eyeballs almost fell out of his head and he still did the Olympics like nothing was going on. Unflappable, a play by play people.

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Their job is obviously impossibly hard. You only need to put the TV on mute and try it yourself to know exactly how hard it is and how redundant it is you sound. But Chris Fowler, once again, I'm doing leverage for his Instagram now. He was showing you his process before he was calling Clemson. Miami meticulous. Right. The super meticulous, like he's in Death Valley. He's like the preparation for this game's already done and dusted. But and I this is before the game got canceled or hopping on the jet and going to Foxboro for Patriots Broncos.

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So he's in the booth in Death Valley at two o'clock in the afternoon before primetime game. And he is watching film of the New England Patriots has his whole roster sheet out, which is name no college. And tidbits about every single player memorizing. Every single player hops on the jet after Clemson, Miami lands in Massachusetts, wakes up to the news that, hey, all that work that you did was for nothing. Hours of preparation game is canceled.

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You're not calling that game. That game's being shifted to Sunday. Waste of your time. Chris Fowler, absolu pro. He was rewarded with his first off week since nineteen eighty eight.

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By jet you mean private jet plane right there at the top were not. I mean you and I flew to Vegas. We were in coach Mike was at first class.

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Wow. You're holding on to that one with some resentment. Aren't you really a good private jet. Think your dad was sitting next to me one for four hours.

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I wish it was Vegas. It was Connecticut. And. Yeah, and Dan gave me his upgrade was very nice. It did. I just I remember feeling you hold on to that. Well, no, I remember feeling badly for him that he was stuck next to me for any amount of time on an airplane.

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I was working him out, you know, Bradley Airport, Vegas, decidedly not Vegas.

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It felt like it to me. I mean, it was one of our first it was our first trip DPN together, and I only won through.

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Godse is doing a whole lot of when he started speeding up and sausage fingers all over the place, you just saw a secret resentment that he had that revealed itself. You can keep making noises. You like to distract people. It's just we keep pointing it out. You keep about wanting to move us. And I want to stay here for a second to talk about your resentment about that, because I've got in my contract that I fly first class.

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That is something that was negotiated. So do I. So what happened?

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I think that was before the you've since negotiated the first part of your contract.

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I did have it that. Okay, so you fix that. You fix that.

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You got your agent to make sure to get that based on the resentment of that experience. Let's backtrack for a second. Guillermo, please put this on the pole. Have you ever taken a sink shower? And I want to get back to what it is that Mike is saying about how Chris Fowler and how the most professional of broadcasters do their jobs, because I think there's going to be a shift here during this particular pandemic where you're going to see that this job is done differently by people because they've realized, wait a minute, we don't actually have to be there.

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The quality will suffer, but we don't have to be there.

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We don't have to send broadcasters to a hotel with travel. We don't we? And so you've already seen the degree of difficulty if you've been paying attention to baseball. Some of these people are there are people aren't most of our people at ESPN are not there. So the degree of different. Guilty of doing that game, you might think it's easy, but what I'm telling you is these people, not Stuckert, but these people put a lot of work before they appear on television into appearing on television.

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One of the reasons that I like radio so much better than television is just the spectacular inefficiency of television, because you will have eight hours of meetings before a half hour show. And Barclays always thrown up his hands in saying, what the hell do you do this with me for? Like, I'm here to be me. Like, what do you got me in a room studying all these college basketball teams during March Madness when all you got me here for is to be Barkley on television.

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And no one in this meeting can do that. And no matter how much time we spend on this meeting, none of you are going to be able to recreate what it is to be. Charles Barkley on television.

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I remember talking to Tim Kiley, who's the executive producer of that show, and he realized early on that too much preparation for that crew was a bad thing. He just told Ernie, turn off the microphones and go, oh, but see, this is what television is.

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It's one of the things I find so maddening about ESPN. For example, this happened, I think I don't know whether it was two days ago. I think it was FETs and Yates were interviewing John Wall about the Dallas Cowboys and who got he was clearly distracted and playing spades and they never mentioned it. Why? Because you respect your medium too much. You respect your interview guests too much. You just let it fly.

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And instead, all you got was awkward after awkward where if you had called him on it, not respected John Wall too much, not respected television too much. If you had simply called him on, hey, are you playing cards, you're going to get an honest moment as opposed to what John Wall was doing, which is just a board interview giving cliched answers while asking for cards because he was distracted. You get his attention and you forced him to, you know, play along.

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But television gets respected so much by others that it gets respected too much by the people who do it. That's why there's so much self-importance in this business. That's why athletes are always walking into our settings and being like, why are you guys so insecure? Whatever those settings are like, why is there so much infighting coming from a locker room where anything goes and you're like fighting dudes for money and you've got to be tougher than people? They walk into our environment and are like, do you guys have all these meetings because you're scared.

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You have eight hours of meetings because you're scared that something is going to happen on television that's going to embarrass you.

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I know how you would handle John Wall doing that. I found it funny that John Wall was doing that. He's very clearly knows exactly what he's doing by doing that and probably goes more viral by playing it straight. Not everyone should point it out. I think sometimes it works better by people playing it straight fits in field. Could have probably had fun with it. But I'm curious as to how most people would sort of handle that live on it.

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But the reason I brought it up is because I believe most people would absolutely not mention it like the the the bedrock at the center of our radio show that makes it, if you do indeed believe it to be different, is that when we have one of these catastrophic mistakes that don't happen on other shows because they're more prepared, but if they did happen on those shows, most of them would just speed past it and not pay attention to it.

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We sink fully into when it is that were awful. And it's one of the things that makes us a little bit different and also one of the things that makes us, you know, ESPN continually shrinking us because we don't represent their brand the way that they want.

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Yeah.

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And to be fair to everybody else, it happens to us a hell of a lot more because we're not prepared that way, because we don't treat this stuff like that's the way we don't hide it either. Well, putting that on hold on a second. But also, you're lazy like we can.

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We would like for us to be a little bit more who got the reads like.

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Think about what we're talking about. You're talking about Chris Fowler, private jets and everything else.

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And still after fifty, that dude is doing nine hours of prep before a game. When you come in here and I can ask you about last night's game and you haven't paid any attention to it.

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And I guess we don't know when they get Monday's weekend observations on Wednesday afternoon sometimes. How Kershaw picture.

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[00:20:45]

There's no way Chris Fowler has morning breath, right? I think Binaca is made by just him spitting into a container. Yeah, yeah, it's his spit. Yes, Binaca.

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Yeah, this is this is Chris Codi saying while we were on break there, there is no way Chris Fowler gets morning. But as he was saying that and this is so very billi, so very Billy, he asked the question, do you guys look closely into air vents over the toilets in public restrooms to make sure no one is recording your poop at everyone does that, right?

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No, there's a guy in the meeting. The guy?

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Yeah, the guy who controls the water. Yeah. Yeah, he looked around the ceiling, probably. I mean, you better start to do that in like hotel bathrooms. You start looking like, why is everything OK here? And they shower like, I don't want this to be like a psycho situation and I want someone like peeping on me while I'm in the shower. You guys don't do this. Is there a market for that?

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Have you ever done anything where you just do it without any thoughts?

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Well, I got to be honest, the thing that was most stunning about that story to me wasn't that Billy is scared that there's someone in a vent over his toilet. The thing that surprised me is that Billy used a public restroom because I imagine Billy wanting control of his environment so that so no recorders or no fear will seep in.

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I have clogged many of public toilets, Dan, and it's not the way you think, because if you think that I have a healthy stool in a public restroom, you're mistaken. It's because of all the paper that I put down on the seat to make sure that nothing touches me.

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Atta boy. Yeah. Yeah.

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Sometimes you know, those things that you put down the like pretty. But thanks to I'll put one in each direction, one with the little flap that goes down at the top with the flap that goes down in the front.

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Since we're here, have you ever struggle with those things I gave you?

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I hate them. All right.

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I've been like twenty minute battles with those one of they call first of all, I got a lot of questions. Put this on the pole, please. Let me show you know what one of those toilet sheets that you put over your public restroom sheet. You know what? That is what it's called, because we don't have a name for it and they're very flimsy as well. Like they are the worst. You hate them because they're rough, Chris.

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Like just because you're not giving me anything of substance, you guys you're giving me, what are the what is the the breath papers that you put in your mouth that melt on your tongue?

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You guys just Listerine strips. You're giving me a Listerine strip to sit on as I shit.

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Yeah. It's like wax paper. I know I never get it right to whenever I set it in there. I can't get the whole. Sometimes I'd puncture the hole a little too much and it goes in the water and then the whole thing gets weighted down and then oh here we go. Got to get another one. The problem is that it's in a full circle.

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It needs to be a horseshoe. I don't like that it comes across the front area like I always like chop that so and then I try to like get a little wet so like sticks to it, like there's a hole. What's quite a little what you're doing.

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This part, the center part that's connected to the top of the horseshoe, it naturally goes into the toilet bowl. So the water weighs it down. Chris, correct me if I'm wrong, it dies first.

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We get rid of that center part, but I'm talking about the like. All right. You know where you're let's say I'm sitting on the toilet. I want you to visualize this. I'm sitting on the toilet, the area where my my you know, all the stuff, my front, the front, please. Like, I don't like I don't like that it goes fully across. I like it to be like a horseshoe paper so that but no blockage in my junk area.

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Hold on.

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How do you guys now. I thought everyone did the same. Which side do you put down. Because that middle part on the toilet tissue thing goes down. So do you guys have that in the front or the back.

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Either the front. Yeah, the front. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

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I think that's the proper way. I've always had it as a back person and now sometimes when I have to double up, I'll have it in the back and the front. So you guys have the clean edge that gets ripped in the back and then the part that folds down in the front. Because my concern is if I'm I'm sitting down and then, you know, while I'm there, sometimes I do a number one. Also, if I do a number one, what if it bounces off the paper and splashes back at me?

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So I always have that side.

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Well, that's one of the reasons I think Chris is doing that, where he's making us imagine him and his junk and everything else. But he is he is cutting that part. I want to know if you guys believe because men can be a little repressed and while we like our toilet humor, I don't feel like this is a conversation anyone in the world has ever had. I don't believe men have ever, ever discussed. Hey, how do you do this?

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Because we all seem to be stunned by the way the other one does it.

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I think, Billy, I think the reason he's confused is because I think Bill is right. There's only one way to do this thing. I think it's the tongue portion of it has to be from the back to the front. I'm made uncomfortable.

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I'm. I'm uncomfortable by you calling it a tongue because I'm going to tongue you put in the front of the back to is grabbing one hold on the second before we get to Tony, because Tony kind of recused himself from this conversation and Roy has been disgusted throughout the entirety of this conversation. Can I get a clarification on whether or not you guys are dipping this toilet paper into the toilet? Because it sounded to Billy and me, it sounded like you guys were saying you are getting this wet where you're getting wet in a sink or dipping it in the toilet.

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You disconnected from the top horseshoe portion top for us. Back now for Billy. I guess naturally, gravity takes its course and it tugs at center portion down to the bowl. Now, some bowls are deeper than others, Dan, but most of the time, for me, that center portion finds itself into the bowl of water. So the very tip of what was connected to the top of the horseshoe is now submerged in water, weighing the horseshoe down a bit, giving it stability.

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However, sometimes there's a miscalculation when you're puncturing the hole and the whole thing falls in there because the center portion is too wet. Do you follow suit? All right. Well, it gets it gets like does get it.

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But the guards has just walked into the room and we are not on television right now, but I'm holding it up for the guy.

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So he's holding it up to the zoom. And OK, we are all talking about the same thing. Strogatz is removing from the center the doughnut hole of the toilet experience is removing of a tricky look at it.

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You've already messed it up. How do you do that? Those two guys, how do you use that one? Do you horseshoeing what do you do with that little piece of paper that is meant clearly to get out of there?

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So I just kind of let it hying down into the toilet. That's what I do. Do you think the way that it was devised is you just put it as is and you let the power of the shit puncture the hole?

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I'm not I've never been certain about that. I don't know. I my fear is my shit won't be powerful enough to break it open, you know, and then all of a sudden the shit gets pushed back.

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You know, it's interesting to God that that would be your fear, because, again, where we started is Billy's fear that someone is recording him doing all of this.

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Well, now that I'm looking at the one Seagate's is holding, that one seems clear cut, like that's supposed to fold so that the tongue is in the front because it has like the little cuts on it that would match a toilet seat. Now, without going to the crass details of what's coming out of you, maybe you should sit on it first and then you kind of just push down in the weight of your legs, holds it in place, and then it won't rip.

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The thing that that bothers me also is when you put it down, if you're one of those toilets with the little sensors and we've already talked about sensors and what's actually going on there, but if you're one of those toilets with the sensors and you move just the wrong way, sometimes it'll suck the whole thing right off the set before you can even sit down. It's like I know what's happening.

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Or Colony has now emerged with his own arts and crafts. He is taking a regular seat, a sheet of paper, and he has cut a hole in the middle of it. Chris Coady, explain to us what you've done here.

[00:28:38]

Thank you. All right. So we take out this middle part. I agree with all of you. Rip it. So this is what you have like at an ideal situation. I know this is radio and that people can't know what I'm talking about, but whatever.

[00:28:48]

All right, guys, hold on. So I'll tell the audience, Chris Coady has a piece of paper in front of him, and it looks kind of like a square with a piece of paper in the middle missing. So you've got like a square doughnut situation, right?

[00:29:03]

I think the ideal situation for when you go Pook, we're using one of these things. You rip this portion, the top portion, so that you're getting a horseshoe, you've got a hold of a horseshoe. And the ideal situation is, you know, with saliva, maybe a little toilet water, you get this, Toyia, water, toilet, water, water. He is using water. He is dipping it. He says the listen, I was don't repeat.

[00:29:28]

Don't repeat unless you tried it. OK, let me hear you. Hear me. Hear how you put. Now, once you get this part a little wet, when you put it on the toilet, it like it and he sticks it's way. But why not just keep it together? I mean, you put you get this a little wet and then you put it on the toilet and then it sticks down. So all of a sudden you don't know you're sitting.

[00:29:49]

I do it. Don't do it. It's water. All right.

[00:29:54]

Have you ever sprinkled a little number one on there just to make sure that it's not dirty, it's yours.

[00:29:58]

Natural adhesive? Yes.

[00:30:00]

I was anyone else made uncomfortable by the number of times the middle piece of paper was called a tongue?

[00:30:05]

Yes, it's the tongue. Wait, has anyone tried it the way that I referred to earlier where you should just power through it like a high school football team before homecoming leave in the locker room? It's too dangerous for me.

[00:30:17]

I mean, it is danger. I mean. Yeah, because I'm telling you, my shits, I don't think my shit's going to break through. It's just going to sit there in like a hammock. Yeah. I mean, come on, we need to make that a game show, a nice comfy hammock.

[00:30:31]

I've for my shit the rest. All right, everybody, let's just stop there. We'll pick it up during the national show. And I want to segway from here into the promised brockmeyer. We told you that Brockmeyer was going to be on with us and stewards, he's a part of a new thing now and I don't really understand why he's doing it. But do you miss basketball or are you missing with the heat? Gave us such a fun run, it made it feel slightly close to normal for a couple of months.

[00:31:00]

You find yourself missing basketball?

[00:31:03]

Not really. I mean, I'll get there eventually. I'm not there yet.

[00:31:06]

Perhaps because the season just ended and because we have football and perhaps because you never cared that much to begin with and told us before it ever started that you didn't really care about who the champion was anymore. And then all you did the rest of the time was keep your eye on the bubble.

[00:31:19]

I did. I miss the pageantry of the bubble, the the graphics on the on the court to tell you who's at home, the messages on the jerseys, the players stepping out of bounds and the referee's not calling it. I miss it all day.

[00:31:31]

Andre Iguodala fouling three point shooter.

[00:31:33]

Oh, take me back to a time. All right.

[00:31:35]

So Brockmeyer those two guards, because some people do miss basketball. Brockmeyer actually found and I don't know how all of this happened. I don't know why he's involved in this. I'll ask him in a second. But he's doing a competing league for those people who kind of miss what it is that we just experienced. He's doing play by play for a competing basketball league. So I guess we should welcome and welcome him in now and ask him to begin with what it is.

[00:32:05]

And why are you doing this, Brockmeyer? Thanks, guys.

[00:32:09]

But I got to just say as a preamble, but I didn't really understand what I was getting into when I took the job with this league, but I was said, to be very honest, very deeply in debt. They're offering a surprisingly large amount of money. Apparently, one of the league's owners is a very successful and influential slumlord. So I was pretty taken aback by the whole thing, mostly about how white the league is. I showed up for the first game.

[00:32:33]

I thought for a moment I had stumbled into a barnstorming Mormon church. But this league may not have the superstars, but it features very good fundamental basketball. You will not see a better chess passer or screens or jump balls anywhere. In fact, that is the league slogan. Chess passes, screens and jump balls. And the players, boy, do they love America. I mean that the NBA has messages on their jerseys about all the problems in America, but the Patriot League has messages about how great this nation is and ways they believe we can make it even better.

[00:33:04]

So I don't know any of the players names because they're a bunch of nobodies. But I just read the messages, you know, on their jerseys and boy, to the fans love it. So I think we have a little bit of it.

[00:33:13]

Oh, oh, you haven't ordered it was a pretty exciting game, too. I mean, you see, he's got an audio clip.

[00:33:18]

All right. Let's listen to an audio clip of Brockmeyer doing the Patriot League if you miss basketball.

[00:33:24]

Hello, fans. Welcome to the start of the second quarter with the Amarillo freedom is leading the Little Rock Stars and Stripes. Fourteen to ten blue lives matter. Give us the ball up court. There's a Chris bounce pass to arm the teachers. He quickly hands it off to stop persecuting white man, smothering defense played there by climate change. The Chinese hoax and abortion is murder. You shoot the ball off to George Soros created AIDS, who shoots and he mentions while rebounded by it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, you moron, who throws a long pass to taxes or confiscation, who immediately kicks it out to public schools.

[00:33:55]

Turn my child gay, who lays it in for two points.

[00:34:14]

[00:34:14]

oh he's grabbing his back coach Carlston going to sub going to subin I believe that's bring back the gold standard and yeah that's the Cli00:33:57.740

[00:34:22]

If you knew their public schools Turn My Child Gay was recently inserted into the starting lineup instead of Jesus on the clock. We definitely paid off at the team. Oh ball stripped clean by believe Kuhnen, who goes for the dunk and is rejected. He is rejected right by the rim and oh he appears to be hurt

[00:34:22]

00:34:14.600

[00:34:22]

Ntons killed Michael Jackson. That's right. Folks are going small and the freedoms have answered back by sending in a whole new five led by the U.N. wants to steal my Bible.

[00:34:32]

NATO is a pedophile ring and the Earth is 6000 years old.

[00:34:35]

And immediately this unit is full court pressing. Oh, my antifa gave me colon cancer. And Ted Cruz, please, please sleep with my wife are double teaming. The devil uses the metric system and they steal the ball. They throw it to. Sesame Street is a Jewish conspiracy to make our kids join ISIS, who blows the lay up to miss with a scrappy to God who is comforted by his teammates?

[00:34:57]

I believe in the death penalty for minors learning disabled and believe what I believe because otherwise I get confused and then I get angry. Oh, you got to love that team, spirit.

[00:35:07]

I can't wait to get some more of that league. Hopefully that'll happen soon.