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So we're back on television today. There's more commotion here in this abandoned hotel than there has been for a while. We are ESPN News. Yes, you can find us 10:00 a.m. to noon, but I don't think that the best part of us being on television are going to be available to the audience. For example, in the first segment of the local hour, if we had been on television, what you would have seen is us broaching a subject that Roy Bellamy has never been more equipped to deal with, not just because Dale Tallon is a name that most of you don't know, and Roy can just recite a hockey names and hockey information in a way that rain man and he knows a lot about hockey, but also because the racial topic is one of interest to him.
And when we went to go to Roy. It wasn't merely that he wasn't there, because that by itself would have been amusing on television, it's that we were staring at the back of his chair that he had left the chair. And it's not just an empty chair, but it was a chair that had been turned around because he ran to go help his baby daughter, Claire, and her diaper. And during that as well, we didn't even get to what Chris was doing.
Chris, why were you doing? Is it the Turkish chef who sprinkles salt on Sunday? What were you doing there? Were you doing something off of the Leonard Fournette? You need to sprinkle a little Leonard Fournette all over your sports radio show. I didn't understand why you were doing that. I also don't know if Zoom is going to televise, if we're going to be able to televise anything going on in the shipping container unless Mike Ryan just basically holds his computer up to one of the cameras.
Bingo. Chris, may I take a guess as to what it is you were doing? Cause with salt, it's a dash of salt. You don't you know, so I think what Chris was saying was you don't spread it all over you. Just a light sprinkling of Leonard Fournette as some sort of top to weave in and out of throughout the show. Is is that accurate?
It's basically I was basically saying that the Leonard Fournette topic was the salt to the local hour and it made it taste good, gave it the taste that we were looking for right at home.
OK, I'm just super confused as to why it is. The show got hijacked by Leonard Fournette, of all things. Is it just the name has been released and is available sir.
Name No one is coming down. I mean, I don't think that's true. No one saw him getting out now. Released on a Monday morning at eight fifteen.
No one saw you talking about him getting down like I don't know. You ever think about it over the weekend, anything?
I mean, I didn't think he was going to be released either, but even I knew me. The guy who thought that Mark Ingram was still with the Saints for a moment there, even I knew that the Jags had been talking about getting rid of Leonard Fournette for the better part of several months.
Yeah, but cutting him down, I mean, they reported that. Exactly. Classic Monday morning quarterback here. You wrote something over the weekend. I didn't see Leonard Fournette some name in there.
Once he had a fantasy draft yesterday, I could have used that little nugget of Jags info that you had there. Dan, next time, don't be so tight lipped about it.
You have them getting nothing back for Leonard Fournette. I mean, twelve hundred yards, seventy six catches out of the backfield last year. Six hundred. Your eighteen hundred total yards. I mean wait so is he on waivers so that now free agent. And we need to look at the waiver order now when we're discussing Dan.
Dan is he on. Wait wait. What's going on here. I know that you want to be tight lipped and loose lips sink ships, but give us a little somebody you know.
Dan, do you like the nickname Danny and Woody that you gods gave me? You guys have another one. That's any better than that, because Strugatsky has been playing with words this week. And many of you remember from last week that he was jealous because I had written an essay for this, The Big Stewy Hour, and Stewart said he was going to write a a message. And this was before Lionel Messi changed, you know, changed teams or decided to leave what Mike Ryan likes to call Barcelona.
And just worked out that way. Well, so do we have a Messi? Because I know two is jealous again, that I wrote for ESPN Dotcom this weekend. Did you did this motivate you? Did did we lead here and finally get you to actually work on writing something?
Yeah, words. I you know, my guess he said he'd be shocked if I wrote two paragraphs. I didn't exactly get to two paragraphs. I wrote maybe a paragraph and a half, but six sentences perhaps. Yeah, I did. Enough that Mike finished it all lit the flame. That's all I ask for. Just the slightest bit of effort. We got the slightest bit of effort. And I mean, look, I. I know his position as a clown, but he he's written before for ESPN Dotcom.
Obviously, he's trying to display as many skills as possible. It's a different time now. And quite honestly, I think this is maybe a new little weapon in his arsenal.
Billy, can you stop chewing on cereal enough to share with the audience what you just wrote in the chat? Please, a paragraph and a half a paragraph.
I want to get Chris to say it, but I don't think he saw it apparently.
So a paragraph is going to be when are we going to air or read that messy.
We can do it. I think this is the most logical point. Look, Dan did a very I mean, serious essay to start one of the big squeeze recently. And outside of Dan, the only other person on this network has been Tom. They need doesn't spectacularly well. So there's quite a lane here for. And I think he's on to something. OK, so help me out here because I don't actually know what Stewart has done. I'm surprised to hear that he's written a pair of has taken it very seriously.
He gave the slightest of effort. You requested the slightest of efforts and not the slightest.
Yeah, but I thought he was going to be, like, not taking this seriously in terms of, like, tone, what I put together a clearly required a little bit of research, more so than the interview I did make about Mezey on the air live. I was doing that to get information. It's called killing two birds with one stone. But I clearly had to look some stuff up here in order to write what it is that I delivered.
But I feel like I did a pretty good job. But I'm with you. I feel like there's a lane open here for me at ESPN. There's not a lot of people who could deliver a good essay, you know, and I'm one of those people.
We play it here on the big city. I'm going to email this to the producers of SportsCenter. I think it's that good and that series and it fits actually the flagship show.
Gamow, can you put it on the pole, please, at Libertador Show, has anyone ever actually killed two birds with one stone? Is that something that's ever actually it seems impossible.
I mean, I don't know under what circumstances. It seems like a stupid phrase just because it seems impossible. But do we have a comparison point, Mike? Do we have like a Tom Rinaldi tone setter that we're going to pair this again so people understand what Stewart is going for in terms of rhythm and cadence and tone and seriousness?
I mean, I could play you an example of something that he's lent his voice to. This is like a masseuse promo from several years ago. There there's a commonality.
There's a theme through the Tom Rinaldi essays that I think you need to hit. There's a couple of key components that you need to hit. You need to just start off with a word or two to set the tone, to set the scene. It's like Agusta, you know, something like that. And then when you say someone's name, you have to say their entire name. That is a case has to be first middle last day and you have to do it.
All right. So stay there, people, because we will get to this. We have a mess. I can't believe it's two guys. Must have been working very diligently over the course of the weekend to get this done. And we will get to that mess here within about ten minutes or so. But before we do that, I wanted to ask the audience and I wanted to ask here what I thought was the question of the weekend posed by Amin Alhassan as basketball returned, which is his kids.
We're talking, his twins were talking and they were talking to their oldest sibling and they were talking about the State Farm commercial that Chris Paul is in. And none of his kids knew who Chris Paul was in that commercial with the Alfonso Ribeiro. They didn't know who he was. And so it was just some guy. And Amien was asking the question, how many grown people are out there watching State Farm commercials who don't have any familiarity with the fresh prince and that show and simply don't think that Chris Paul is doing that commercial with just some guy in a driveway.
Does anyone in our shipping container, anyone here have an answer for me on the grown people out here listening? Do they know who that is or not?
I think grown people, it depends on where you're doing the age cutoff, because people my age in their mid thirties. Absolutely no. But people in their 20s probably not.
In fact, I saw that commercial a couple of times before I realized, oh, that's Alfonso Ribeiro, because he's in a bit of makeup. He's trying to look a little bit more like Chris Paul. So and the way that we just watched commercials, half an our phone. So it took me a minute. Took you a minute?
Yeah, it took me a minute. Yeah. Because I would just sort of half pay attention to it. And he's wearing a bit of a disguise, but yeah, I realize it. But there is quite a sizeable gulf between, you know, what we know at thirty then what people know what at twenty years old, but it's up culture like the entire world changed. They grew up and they had iPods and iPhones like they didn't see like the brick cell phones.
They were born into a world where their first phone was a touch screen.
But I'm wondering, has he done anything recently and where where teenage kids would possibly know who he is? My kids have no idea who he is. No, they're sixteen years. I have no idea who he is.
I think he's the host of America's Funniest Home Videos and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It's been highly successful in syndication. So there is a younger audience for Chris.
Why will you wagging a freckled finger at us in the Zoome call that may or may not be on television, on ESPN News ten to noon today if Mike Ryan holds his computer screen up to one of the cameras that's working here.
Oh, well, I agree with Mike, but he was kind of doing it to the younger kids, like, wow, that's how I pictured him talking there when he's like you kids with your gadgets and gizmos, but like.
He's so right, I feel so old the VMAs were on last night, I knew who Lady Gaga was, that's about it. I learned I'm not watching the VMAs anymore because I want to feel better about myself.
But actually, one thing that I realize is people kind of know faces now, but not from the actual source material. They know people from Jephson Meems. When they search like reactionary things, Karlton dancing will come up as a gift and they'll know him from that.
I'm a little concerned here because you guys are supposed to keep us young and you are now going through some of the things that Dan and I went through. God save me whenever I turn on the VMAs.
What I immediately do afterward is I buy on Amazon a mummy case that I then put in my house and turn off the machine and then just go and lay in the mummy case because I feel like a fossil. I feel like something archaeologists would dig up the VMAs, put it on the pole at Laboratoire show. Do the Vermes make you feel so old that you're something that archaeologists would dig up?
This seems like a bit of an overreaction on everyone's part because amines kid didn't know who Alfonso Ribeiro was. Right. Like none of his kids know. Just don't know. Like, OK, well, maybe it means kids are dumb. Sorry. He likes calling other people.
Wow. Watch the Fresh Prince Warrawong, the fresh prince eyes.
Oh my God. That escalated quickly. Why are you lashing out?
In the meanwhile, he calls people he calls people's kids ugly and their dogs ugly. So you know what? All's fair in love and war. He's a millionaire.
The bad joke. I apologize. I hate to lose loser game show, but it hasn't worked for three months. I have to go in there and plug it. I'll get around that. Can I blurt out bad joke from now on? Just.
Well, you saw me reaching for the loser game show sound. He's a meaning. You felt self-conscious about it and then you just blurt it out. So I just want to read.
I feel better now, but you know, we've got a mess next. When you need your bank, Capital One is right in the palm of your hand so you can check your balance deposit checks, pay bills and transfer money from your phone with a top rated app, and when you're done banking, put it back in your pocket. A banking experience built around you and your life. This is banking reimagined. Get started online any time. What's in your wallet?
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Are we in some kind of prank show or something? That's a camera, isn't it?
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Odor eaters destroy food odor with the best in odor defense. We'll get to Stewart's promised Mezzeh in a second, but Stewart was in rare form during the break. Here he go ahead, get it all out of your system. I want this all out of your system before we start the national show.
We were playing a little game called Just Throw It Out teams where what a guy gets released. And Leonard for that has been released by the Jaguars because they are tanking. For Trevor Taghi, for Trevor Lawrence, that is obvious. What a guy gets released, it becomes a free agent. One of the things you do with your friends day and you all sit around, you play a little game of throw it out, teebs. And so when I was doing with my friends is I was throwing out some teams as we're trying to figure out where letter for dad is going to go, because Leonard Fournette technically now is a free that technically he's been released, he's a free agent.
Mike brought up the Jets. I pointed out they already have Le'Veon Bell and who would choose to go to the Jets? I mean, that's not where Leonard Fournette is going. There's no way he is not choosing to go to the just a bunch of teams. You were just launching towns at Mike's forehead the entire break. I got to be honest. One of the teams I launched at Mike's forehead, Tony, got very excited. You know, you look at the AFC East ad because typically when this happens, people think maybe the Patriots, the Patriots have a ton of running backs.
I happen to think the Dolphins might be a great landing spot for Leonard Fournette.
And Howard does a lot of the same thing. So internally, you have to ask yourself, who's better at doing the Jordan? Howard thinks, is it Jordan Howard or Leonard Fournette? It's an interesting one. I'm not ready to write off the Miami Dolphins.
How about here's a good one, Michael. All right. That is could be a very it's a long shot because I don't know, Fournette wants to go there, but the Bengals and Joe Barrow, that Joe Mixon, Giovani Bernard has been there since the Reagan administration.
So I'm not exactly sure. Yeah. Why would he want to go to the team with the worst record in the NFL? That's plenty. That's already established himself once high profile. Look, he's still trying to get his money, so I think I'm ready to write off Cincinnati. All right. I'm going to throw it out to to the shipping container. Totally going to throw this one out to you. Just a little game. We like to call, throw it out.
I want it noted for the throw it out teebs. Did a billy doesn't have any interest in this. He has been bored to tears by all of this. Chris has a modicum of interest as long as it's to the dolphins. Right. Go ahead and throw one of your teams out at Tony's forehead.
I'm going to throw I want to throw the Steelers right your forehead, Tony.
About that Steelers like that. I like that's to the thing is, when you think of Leonard Fournette, you've got to think of a little thing I like to call Thunder and lightning.
Yes. Oh, so where's the lightning? We some teams already have Leonard Fournette with the Thunder. Now that's double thunder if you have for that. And Conner you have double thunder and lightning. Just got a little bit of a dash of ladies, right.
I think he's dashes of double thunder, you know, thunder and lightning. You want thunder.
So Tony, what places already have lightning? I mean, do we know, Stu?
I'll tell you right now, and it's a really exciting race in the AFC West. The Los Angeles Chargers have the lightning with Austin Ekeler They're Missing a Bruiser and Thunder once they lost Melvin Gordon, Leonard Fournette, the Chargers and their logo.
Look. Wow. Here, can you guys help me? You're the Bengals. Don't they have lightning and lightning? There's Bernard Teague because he's been there so long. I think of Mixon and Bernard as lightning and lightning. There's no thunder there.
I think they have some thunder they drafted running back. And I can you really call geochronology lightning at this point? I like a like a static electricity. Right. But Mason, we agree, is lightning carpet and you try to open a door knob too fast, but even more. I'm I view Geo as a hybrid of thunder and lightning, like, you know what I'm saying?
It's not thunder and lightning used to be built like thunder, but you to move like lightning. And now it's just like, I don't don't open that knob too much. Is there a third option like Jordan?
Howard doesn't seem like he's thunder or lightning. It's just like rain.
Oh, no, he is a thunderclap. No, no, he is just when you try and restart the battery on your car and you get some sparks, I think I'd take some of that static electricity over lightning.
Right. Like everyone's impacted by static electricity, a joke. Very few people are actually struck by lightning jolt.
I don't think about the jets. They have lightning with Le'Veon Bell, Mike, and this would provide them with the thunder. But it's weird. He he's classified as lightning, but he doesn't have the top end speed. He's more of a patient runner. He doesn't hit the whole like lightning. So it's sort of like one of those electrical storms off in the distance. We're never actually hits the ground. It just travels cloud to cloud.
He's the rare lightning that doesn't want any thunder around him. He's like, get your thunder and get the hell out of here.
I'd like to go on the record right now, because I've been portrayed in the past as anti photography people who take pictures of lightning bolts. Incredible. Yes, not respect photographers more than the photographers captured lightning bolts that they put on, like science books and like the cover of like, you know, whatever 4th grade or whatever, you are learning about different types of lightning and clouds and all that stuff. If you could get a good lightning strike and a picture, I couldn't show you any more respect.
It's all about timing. I mean, you get Alvin Kamara in a picture and I'm with you. It's a total respect.
He's a he's a rare combination of thunder and lightning. The one and one guy and one guy.
No, you see thunder. He's not thunder, but he runs hard.
He runs are really actually changed my whole perspective on photographers because he had a great take their volume shooters. How do you catch lightning?
Because you're just taking a photo of the sky for an hour and then one of them develop into that amazing shot or you take a video of just the sunset or lightning and then you just do a screen shot when the lightning strike feels like cheating.
I mean. Yes, well, you know what? You're right.
Photography is also this is this is why you get represented as anti photography right there, because how quick you are to jump on photographers from anything.
We have beef with a photographer now. I don't know if you've noticed, but every time well, it's hard to not notice what the does on Twitter every time Stan Van Gundy has a a lightning bolt of a take, a politically charged take on Twitter, Dan Reed tweets with the comment of that photo.
Not every time, because I can't do it because I came up with it.
Yeah, but he read tweets with a photo that a photographer took of seeing Van Gundy on a bicycle, which has since been and yeah, it's has since been beamed with like a parental advisory state.
It looks like the cover of a hip hop album, except, again, Stan Van Gundy does not.
So in his mentions, the guy that took the photo wants money for how often Dan is tweeting out this meme legitimate?
I didn't think he was serious. I thought he was joking. But no, he wants he wants to know where his is. An invoice residuals. Yes. Where he can invoice for the amount of times I am using that photo on Twitter.
So photographers, it's not an easy industry, but a lot of them make their money by being very litigious. So photographers are some of the most litigious people. So if you use a photo without proper permission or licensing and you use it in terms of promotion to sell something or you put it on a website, that's a commercial website, I absolutely see the point, even though it's a photo of someone else. Right. I mean, no one is meaning that photo because of who took it, meaning the photo because of who's in it, even though it's a great picture.
All credit to you. But Sam, Bangun, he's not getting paid. He's not asking where he should send his invoice. So it's just such a bizarre occupation to me.
Do I got a couple more for you? We're throwing out the names right about Chicago, but Chicago little Matt Naggie action need thunder. They have a lightning bug in Tarricone.
They do. Wow. Right. Mazeltov. That's a great suggestion. So, yeah, I like that. That's that with Leonard Fournette. Choose the Bears in those two years ago. Chris, what are you laughing at that he didn't have anything after he was just you you just talked to sports stadiums throughout his jazz hands after Mazeltov and then just sort of wandered around waiting for the applause.
Didn't have a point to make after that.
What you do is just stumble around and to actually gather your thoughts and you get to the point. And the point was now would because you advance conversation, NFL free agent throw out and this is what you do, you figure out, OK, they have lightning to. But would the Thunder choose to go to Chicago? Is that a place two years ago? You buy yourself time to think about it two years ago, that teams seem like they were on the verge of winning a Super Bowl last year.
They took a step back. In my opinion, they spent way too much time trying to figure out who's going to kick field goals in Chicago. Perhaps they should get back to some thunder and lightning. Perhaps you're on to something there. It's a good point.
You want to sneak in some serious Chicago analysis? I didn't get it. I just hit you over the head with it.
I mean, once wants to reunite with Nick Foles, it made Nick Foles made such an impression in Jacksonville. Foles is in Chicago.
Yeah. Yeah. They gave him a bunch of money. So let's do this here. Let's get to this. Promised Mezzeh, you don't need any context. Right. Tom Rinaldi writes these syrupy pieces that he reads in a way that is somber and emotional and he will get inside the fields there. And he is very good at writing these very serious essays. So what do the people need to know about this mess that you've written? What how do we set any of this up?
There are just there are certain cadences and keys you need to hit with Tom Rinaldi to deliver the essay. I mean, you really don't need any information going into it because Tom Rinaldi always gives you all the information you possibly want about something, perhaps too much occasional. OK, so here we go. Without further ado, it's finally happened. It took several days. Students wrote a paragraph and it is ten has since mushroomed into a full blown mess. Here it is.
Soccer, the beautiful game, a game soccer zealots claim is so complex in its artistry that a simple simpleton's just don't understand it, to which I would respond by saying, no, we understand it just fine.
We're just not entertained by. Wait a minute, digress. What happened at what is considered to be the world's game?
He is considered the greatest in the world, despite the fact that he's never won the most prized trophy in his sport.
Born June 24, 1987, Lionel Andres Messi lived with his family in Rosario, Argentina, a small, quaint town where the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
And he did get go to Barcelona.
It was there at the age of 30 where Messi sculpted his talent and where Lionel became known as La Plaga a Tomika.
It was there he would fall in love with what is known in some parts as Joga Bonnett, it was there in La Ciudad Condo that he would sculpt his game.
It was there in LA Via Della Della Tando that he perfected his craft. It was there was a lot of takita, the PLATZER He would play his entire professional career.
And it was there. Oh, God, where he would be charged with and found guilty of tax evasion and fraud.
What or now might the true fraud that he is after one bed sees it?
Lionel Messi wants out of Catalonia after two decades, the world's greatest player most assuredly must have told his owners face to face not to pull a Tomica.
He informed them VFX teams will line up to try and acquire the 33 year old legend. But I hope that they know this, that behind that youthful, innocent looking exterior, there lies a monster, a monster that will kill you.
VFX when his privilege is called into question, a monster that is capable of tax evasion and fraud, a monster that is also capable of standing in front of a federal judge and lying to the judge's face. God. Well, and a monster that is probably a tad overrated.
I don't know what I liked best about the piano, how incredibly overproduced it was like finding the sound for a monster or you turning an essay into just ripping Lionel Messi again. This is a message. This is not the way that we're supposed to go to.
Renaldi doesn't usually give his own takes, say, yes, it doesn't have sound effect.
I don't think, though, that anything in there is better than stew got pronounced over pronouncing Barcelona or over pronouncing any of those words that he didn't know Barcelona.
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Absolutely. Great. And you're cutting down on your sweets, of course. Wonderful. Then I don't even need to look in there. Great.
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