Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Calvillo Studio, this is The Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Chris Hogan and co-host of Cohosting with me this hour. I don't know why I keep stumbling on that. Is Dr. John Boloney very excited to have him here with me. Are you ready to rock? I'm ready. I'm ready to rock because evidently good folks. During the break, Chris and I also turned into the Rolling Stones.

And so we're going to we're going to rock today. I'm going to make it happen. It's going to be awesome. But listen, we are excited to take your call. So if you're out there, you've got a question about life, relationships or money, call us. The number to call is triple eight 855 225. Again, that's 888 8255, two to five. We'd love to hear from you. So let's get to the phone lines.

We've got James up in Akron, Ohio. James, how are you?

Hi. Do I do a certain 200 dollars to get out of my lease early or ride it out and save up in the meantime?

Very good. How long was this lease you signed up for? About a year and a half. You you. A year and a half. James. Yes, a year and a half later, you have a year and a half left, and if you if you OK, and how much is the payment right now? 400. So it's eight months of payments to turn it in early. OK, is that what they told you it would require?

Yes. OK, do you have 1200 dollars? I do. OK, how much do you have in savings right now? I have 6000 set aside for a car. OK. All right, so we got 6000 set aside for car. So if you pay this off earlier, would that come from that 6000 you've got saved? But I. I do have about 10000 in my checking account as well. OK. All right.

And from the savings. All right.

So outside of this lease, what else do you owe on? A mortgage. OK, so is that it? That's a yeah, James paid this thing off, James, today you're free, brother. Yeah, get out of this lease and then go find a car to buy a five thousand dollar car. Sounds easy enough. Yeah, why are you hesitant? You're not going to do it. Why are you nervous, man? I've had bad luck with cars in the past.

All right, so what what year is the car you drive in right now? Twenty 40, OK? You had bad luck in the past, what happened with the cars in the past? They always gave me this is an. I just broke down a lot and I never got a good used car. OK, well, here's what I want you to do. I always caution people and I always get worried when I hear always and forever, right?

Always did. Or I've never been able to do X, Y or Z. Those sound like really, really grabby, inclusive statements. It sounds like there's no reason or opportunity for anything to ever be any different. Hogwash. OK, here's the deal. You probably had some lemons. You probably dealt with some. It doesn't mean you can't find a quality use car and have a mechanic take a look at it. That's a five thousand dollar car that gets you out of this lease.

You keep making this four hundred dollars a month payment to your savings instead of to that company and you upgrade car in a year and a half. So what we're doing this is breaking a cycle, James. And I'm going to tell you, when you break the cycle, you've got to change the way you're thinking and you've got to be open to new results. Otherwise, what will happen is you'll be a life leaser. You will always lease a new car and it'll go from four to six to a thousand dollars.

And you'll always be and you'll never own a vehicle. So it's just going to require a new way of thinking and taking some new chances.

Some of the quickest ways you can change your mindset is by acting them. The quickest ways you can change your mindset is by changing the way you talk to yourself. Chris, how many people do we know, myself included? Sometimes we talk to ourselves in ways that if we heard somebody talking to a lady at a cash register, we we'd knock their teeth out. I'd go to jail over. And I called my wife and I would laugh and I'd say, honey, I'm in jail.

But I protected some old woman at the right and my wife would have five me. That's right. But we talk to ourselves in ways that are disgusting and awful.

And you called it out, James, if you go to a lot and you think, well, here I am, I'm just going to pick between one turd and a piece of crap and a pile of doo doo, that's my three options here.

And that's just going to be the kind of the way, man, you can walk into it that way or you can walk into it and say, I'm debt free punks. I got five thousand bucks to spend, I'm going to get a car. It's already been fully depreciated out. So when I traded back in in a year and a half with four hundred dollars a month, I paid to myself, you're going to get forty eight hundred dollars for it or are you going to find somebody who will have five fifty two hundred bucks and you're going to trade up and trade up and and so decide to talk to yourself positively.

Yeah. Some crappy cars in the past. Not this time. That's right. That's not going to guarantee it either. By the way.

It's not like we're Pollyanna and I don't know some other Disney characters.

It's not like the car is not going to have maybe some issues. Right. But but the bottom line is, is what you'll have. You'll have money for repairs. You'll have money to be able to upgrade. And it's just the difference in thinking.

James, one of my favorite quotes of all time is by one of the preeminent research psychologists of our times, Amos Tversky. And I'll butcher a little bit. But he said being pessimistic is stupid because if it comes true, I've experienced it twice, once when you worried about it and cast it out into the universe. And then when it actually happened, he said, What if I just decided I'm going to I'm going to project optimism in the world and then if a crappy things happen, I'll deal with it then.

Right.

That's good. I choose to experience crappy things once I'm going to use that.

That's my new goal starting today, because I'm going to tell you, I agree with you about the words we can tell ourselves. It's the most powerful voice we have, and that's that internal one. I don't know what's in there 24/7.

No one hears it and you can pick it up and start telling yourself these negative things as many times as you want. And I will tell people, if you have one of those negative voices going on in your head, I want you to mute it and change the track. Like I want you to play something that's encouraging to you and that that can be a learned skill and it can be difficult.

But you have to try. It's a learned behavior that we practice. Yeah. That to me is one of the foundational tenets of psychology I picked up over the last decade was optimism is a learned behavior. It's a decision. It's a choice. And it's something that you practice, like lifting weights, like throwing a football, like sewing. It's something you practice. And that's different than just being being a slave to whatever thought pops in your head. You're like, well, that's just going to be the way that is, because that's the thought.

I've got to get it now and we can decide to move that one back out and pick up another one, pick up something, have something to replace.

That's right. Now, learn behaviors. This is important because we all have an opportunity to learn. Well, speaking of, if you ever get to the end of the month, you have no idea where all your money went. And it feels like as soon as money's coming in, it's going right back out. Well, here's the thing. You can learn to be able to take control of your money. You have to be the one to tell it where to go.

That means getting on a budget. And every dollar is a job. Every dollar has every single month has a location and something to do. So give money a job and give it a location. The best thing you can do is join Ramsey plus our. Membership, it gives you all the best money products, a premium version of every dollar, and it gives you an opportunity to budget track as well as see and understand where you are. So all you have to do to begin this trial is to begin to three three, seven, eight, nine, text the word begin BGN to three three seven eight nine.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Folks, I love telling you about great products, and today I'm talking about American made grippe six Beltz Listen, traditional Beltz never fit, right? And they're uncomfortable, but Grib six belts and straps are interchangeable, which I personally love. And they have a clean, sleek look with no holes, no flap and no Borke and they hold tight all day. In fact they're so comfortable you can't even remember you're wearing it.

And talk about affordability. Wow Grib six belts come with a lifetime guarantee and that means you can replace them for free to get this month's Dave Ramsey special visit grippe six dotcom.

All right, we are back. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Chris Hogan and co-host. With me this hour is Dr. John Deloney. We have asked you guys to send us questions in on social. And guess what? You did it. You've been firing them in and we appreciate it. You can find John at John Deloney. You can find me at Chris Ogen 360. But I'm going to take a question. I got one had one for John.

And here's the deal. Someone asked Andrea from Instagram, asked me, I have one hundred and three thousand one hundred and forty seven dollars in my 401k, but I owe eighty three thousand six hundred and fifty seven thousand dollars in student loans. Should I borrow from my 401k to pay off these loans? Andrea, I know you are hearing about the Carers Act. I know you're hearing that the 10 percent penalty has gone and you don't have to worry about it anymore.

But I want you to understand something. I do not want you to steal from your future to clean up your present. I do not want you to pull money out of your 401k. There are only two reasons I would ever suggest that you would consider touching for one K money that's to prevent a bankruptcy or to prevent a foreclosure. Neither one of those things are things that you're dealing with. You're dealing with something that's impacting almost 53 million people out there right now with student loan debt.

And so now what you want to do is develop a game plan on how to attack it if you're still contributing to the fall when I would pause it. So now you can send every extra dime toward attacking the student loan debt. Now, eighty eighty three thousand is not a small dollar amount, but it is something that you can't handle. You can't attack it. You need to get more serious. So, Andrea, don't touch the four one K money, leave the four one K alone.

But let's get intentional on evicting the student loan debt out of your life. I love it, Chris.

And that's hard. That was I remember those days. I just have one envelope with my retirement money and then one envelope it said, you owe us. And it just made sense in my front part of my brain to take this and just put it in that envelope.

But that's not the way to handle it.

No, it really actually know what my front part of my brain, it was my fear part, my brain way in the back saying, well, oh, you could solve this problem with that problem. And then my front part of the brain, the math part that says, don't do that, don't do it, just get it out.

And a lot of people, they'll struggle, too. They'll tell me, Chris, you'll understand. I'm getting a match at the job. Right? They're matching me. It's free money. And I go, I understand. But I want to understand you're getting penalized with the credit card. You're getting penalized with the student loan because it's interest that you earn. There's interest that you pay. Right. Think about that. Earned interest is on your savings, in your investment.

You're earning it. You're being rewarded. Interest that you get penalized. Then you have to pay as credit cards or anything, car loans, anything where you make a payment. So let's not penalize ourselves. Let's get some some bonuses, some profits, some good things with interest.

So love your bonuses. Get it out of the life. All right. Next up, we're going over to Columbus, Ohio, and we got Jesse on the line. Jesse what doctor? The only lonely and I do for you. Hi, Dr. Drew and Chris, thank you so much for taking my call. So my question is how to best handle difficult family dynamics between my younger brother and his fiancee and then my parents who don't really approve of their relationship.

Oh, do they are are you in a relationship?

I'm married, yes. Do they approve of your relationship? Yes. That makes it worse.

Oh, man. She is the star child. Oh, man, it's really hard not to be that.

But I do feel like sometimes it comes across that way. You know, I grew up in a very conservative Christian family. My parents are wonderful. My brother and I are also really close. But ever since he was in high school, you know, he's made choices that my parents haven't really agreed with. And now this decision, my parents are just completely devastated. My mom cries every single day.

OK, so. So paint your picture. What's the what's the devastating result here? I mean, what is your brother doing relationally that's so bad?

So his new fiancee does not share the same faith as my parents. And that for them is just really devastating. They are so completely broken hearted. And so I do understand their hurt. But I also do feel at the same time, like my brother is an adult and I know he's really hurt that they don't support him and his future wife. And they're both kind of coming to me and I feel a little bit put in the middle. They're not really talking to each other right now.

Hold on a second.

Just how old is your brother? He is twenty one. Oh, OK. All right, yeah, so so if I knew I would get out of the middle of this as quickly as possible. Yep. And I would talk to mom and dad and say, mom and dad, here's the deal. I love my brother and let's just call her Susie. I love Susie. And Susie has this area of her life or two areas or three areas or six areas where she believes differently than we do.

She's still a person of value. We still love her. And the one surefire way to to make sure she never comes around to the way you see the world is to make sure she knows she doesn't belong. I love the old quote. Nobody's ever come around to my side of believing because they lost an argument. That's not how the world works. People are loved into community relationship. So I would tell my mom, hey, I'm not going between you two anymore.

I love you, Mom, but that's my brother. And I don't want to hear negative stuff about him. And I would tell my brother, I'm not your go between. I'll love you. We're not going to talk about mom and dad because I love them, too. And they are probably doing the best they can with the tools that they got. And then you step out, right. You step out of that middle ground. You love your mom and dad for who they are.

You love your brother and your soon to be sister in law for who they are. And you can walk through that as lightly as possible. And I would just I would implore you to not be triangulated in these relationships because you end up going down first on the bottom of that ship. Tell me if this sounds familiar, Mom. Some will have one once a year conversation with brother and say, well, you know what your sister says.

And then you're like, wow, that was out of context. Or your brother will think or will say, well, she's with me. Right? And then suddenly you're you're sitting on an island and there's a spotlight on you going, right.

So just get out of the middle. That's unfair.

My worst. Yeah. What you just described is like my worst fear. What I don't want to happen.

So there's a 100 percent chance that happens. One hundred percent chance to just get out of the middle of it. Tell everybody I love you. And and I know that sounds trite and easy, but it will it will stop when you stop allowing it when you draw that boundary. So the first time your brother calls and says, can you believe that, mom? That's when you go, whoa, whoa, hold on. I don't want to talk about about mom today.

I know she's frustrating. Drives you crazy. Let's just be that. How's your how are you and your fiancee doing? How's work going? And you just cut the conversation off and he'll get frustrated and he'll get. But you used it. It's over. I'm not doing that anymore.

Yeah. And even if Jesse in the past you have done that. If you have taken the side. I agree. Stop participating. All the roads lead to you being the bad person. All the roads in this scenario. Hundred percent of them. Yeah. You're going to be. And so allow them to be the adults that they are. And again, who knows if he ends up marrying this girl or not. I can tell you this. The parents acting the fool the way they are and throwing the hissy fit, that's one surefire way for her to stick around longer than maybe she typically would have.

Because you've said they've not been happy with some of the choices he's made. So who knows? But I'm just saying, them being this adamant and this absolutely line in the sand and this dramatic right needs me to say a couple of things. A, they raised him. He's twenty one.

They need to go get a life. Hmm. Go find a hobby, go do some stuff, because this was a way that you end up not seeing a grandbaby. This is a way that ten or twelve years go by and you've missed out on some stuff. So stop majoring in minors, don't participate in drama. I don't watch drama on TV because I don't want to spend pretend emotion, you know, seriously. Right. And so, you know, you stop participating.

You be the star child that you have been. But being who you are and let them have drama, it's OK. They need to go talk to some people. You need to get on the phone with her parents.

If they want to call into the show, I'll give them free advice times to hey, you know what? Also call your future sister in law and just see how she's doing. Develop her relationship with her, tell her she appreciate her to see what she's interested in. Find out when her birthday is what you really do those. Why not? Right. Why wouldn't you want to have a relationship with someone who's about to be your family, especially if you love your brother that much, right?

No, that's a good point.

I trust my brother. I love my brother. If he says she's worthy of spend the rest of his life with her, then it's his life.

What am I why am I going to choose to be upset about that? Right. I could choose to be in a relationship with her. Let's go. Even if she is a village idiot, we all got some of those. They're worthy of love, too. I agree.

I'm sitting by one. I'm just kidding. Don't be one of us. Coming back after the break. Just wait America and figure out who it is. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

Finding the right pair of sunglasses on a budget is difficult. They're either too expensive or they don't hold up. But recently I got a great pair of sunglasses from Shady Raise, shady raise offers, premium affordable sunglasses. And right now you can try Qadi raise risk free for 30 days with a 20 dollar off discount. That means you can get polarized sunglasses starting at just twenty eight dollars when you use the promo code. Dave at Shady Raves Dotcom.

Hello, everyone, welcome back to The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Chris Ogen and co-host Hosten. With you this hour is John Delaney. We are having a blast. We have asked you all to send us an questions from social media. We've asked you to send them in. You've done it all over the place. And we've got another one in for Dr. B, and it says this is from awesome from Facebook. He goes, How do I teach my kids to value money and hard work when their mother gives them money on a regular basis just because we are divorced?

Two things. Kids do not listen to you. They watch you. That's number one. So you want to teach your kids about how to value money, how to work hard. Then you value money and you work hard. Number two, on the back end, after your action, you explain what you're doing. So you involve them in your monthly budget. You involve them when you go to the grocery store or go to the academy or whatever store you're shopping at and you show them what things cost, how you save up for things, you demonstrate it and you walk it through on the back end.

But if you live on the front end and they're going to get a mixed message, there's no question here, Austin. So they're going to get one set of instructions from mom. They're going to get one set of instructions from you if they watch how you live and you then on the back end, after they're watching you, you explain why you're doing what you're doing and you show them peace. You smile. Yeah. You have a joyful life.

They will they will internalize that at the mitochondrial level.

Right. It'll be it'll become a part of them. I completely agree with you.

And in this scenario and I'm not saying it's this one, but if you've got one that's throwing money at them and you've got another one that's giving them time care and attention, well, there's one that will lose. Right? The throwing money at it that has no emotion, no concern or love attached to it. So often you teach them, help them to understand it, but at the same time spend time with them. And as John was just saying, walk them through, help them to set some goals, see some things and do it and they'll learn it.

They'll be able it'll become obvious who's spending time with them and who's not. So thank you for your great question. I you all keep sending it, and we love to be able to hear your questions at all times. All right. We're getting back to the phones. We're going to Kansas. I got Emily on the line. Emily, how can we help you?

Hi, Dr. Dinkas. I'm so excited to talk to you. Well, good night.

We're losing we're losing your phone signal there. There you go. Oh, did you hear me? There we go. Stand still and talk. All right.

I have a question about inheritance we're coming in to and we just want to make sure we're doing the right thing with it. All right. We're going to be getting the big question, I guess, if we look at about one five between a 401k and a pension and we know that that's going to be taxed. So we're trying to decide, do we take the lump sum or do we split it between five years?

OK, so it's around one hundred and seventy five thousand. That's just from that. And then there's going to be about an additional 140000. So the house is OK.

Now, let me ask you this. What what is your household income before any of this stuff? About one hundred and twenty.

One hundred twenty. And do you have debt? Yes. Oh, you chuckled, that scares me. How much do you have? In total, we have about 65 that split between 113 student loans and 36 six, my goodness, OK.

So are you ready to get serious about turning a corner or you just want a quick.

No, we want it to be gone up 100 percent. We're on the same page with that. We just don't know about taking that big. Right.

What where did this inheritance come from? My father in law just passed away last week.

I'm sorry to hear XOX. I'm so sorry. I am very sorry. But John's right. If you guys aren't serious, the last thing I want you to do is waste this money. And I've seen people do it. I've seen people try to medicate with some stuff and they end up just doing things out of habit. They're not clear and intentional. And, you know, this money that was left to be a blessing can actually end up being a curse, because you told us before he passed exactly what he wanted us to do.

What did he say to you? He wants us to pay off our student loans.

Well, you got student loans and you got cars, right?

Yeah. And we plan to do both, but. Yeah, but but what I don't like that conjunction you plan to do is just that additional and that tax is just scary. Well, that's dollar dollars.

Well, here's the reality. I want you to connect with one of our taxi ops to be able to run the scenario based on your tax bracket, based on where you are, that the amount that you would pull out and what that's going to look like from a tax implication. The same to be said from the sale of a property. And so this is going to get a little bit bigger. So you guys have had thoughts on what you might do with the money.

Now, what I want you to do is to get information so you can make a decision and have a plan so you're not buying any more. Cars were paying off stuff. OK, that's the mindset you have to have. And I know I talked to oh, my gosh, hundreds of people. And this scenario where they go, well, we were going to do X, Y and Z. No, no, no, no, no.

Slow down. Really start to think it through and let this money be a blessing. And so go to Dave Ramsey, dot com click on the tax help so you can go in, sit down, bring the documents with you of the of the of the accounts that you're looking to inherit. Let them be able to see this. Run the numbers. You can know what you're dealing with from a tax benefit. This is how you'll be able to make the right decision on the timing.

Now, I'm going to tell you this. If you're serious about getting getting things paid off, you run through the numbers, you get the dollar amount, you pay things off right immediately and shut down any credit card you might have. And you got to play defense because more stupid is coming your way once you start to process these dollar amounts. Don't think you're not going to get more mailers and calls for opportunities. So you've got to have your guard up.

Keep your head up. All right.

Well, I want to add this. Emily and her husband fund themselves and what I would call a strangely fortuitous situation there, an opportunity to talk with their financial before he passed.

Yeah. And he was able to look them in the eye and say, this is what I want you to do with this gift. And most people don't get that opportunity, which is why people who don't leave a will.

My buddy John King says the only reason I have a will is because you hate your wife and kids.

That's it. That's one reason not to have one now. So what a gift it is to have had somebody be able no one had the time to walk, walk somebody through their last moments of their life, the no to them to say, I've got a gift for you and here's how I want you to use this.

And so, Emily, man, you've got it laid out for you. Good for you. You just got to decide if you wanna to get serious about it, man. And I wasn't here in some serious in your voice, but I also know Chris is Christopher Huggins. It can be an intimidating guy to talk to you on the radio, so.

Oh, stop it. No, I just want people I've talked to people that have gotten an inheritance, didn't beat, weren't clear on what they wanted to do, and they frittered away a hundred grand. Oh, right.

So now they not only have the money and the missed opportunity, the guilt and shame, guilt of not using the money from the family member in the right way. And so I vowed when I met with someone and this was back in 2007, 2008, and I talk with them about having a plan, I wasn't firm enough. I didn't give them the flip side. I love it, you know? And so I don't want to I don't want that to happen anymore.

I love it. And so you make a decision so you can make a choice about what you want for yourself as well as your family. All right. Getting back to the phones. I got Kevin in Orlando. Kevin, how are you? And how is Dr. Morrone and Dr. Hovind today? We are doing well, my friend, how can we help you? Well, it's great to talk to the intimidating Dr. Hosein, like Dr. Morrone just said.

Hey, listen, Christopher Hogan is not here.

He is this kind. He plays intimidating on the tubes. He is a kind, lovely man. What's on your mind body?

OK, sort of piggy back on the last caller. I'm the youngest of five and my mother is eighty one. My grandfather on my mother's side was all but a German. It's come to my attention that since my grandfather died and I saw how he handled the things of value in their house, he left everything to the oldest son and he kind of distributed everything after my grandfather passed. My mother is kind of the same mindset and she just sees that as being the easiest way.

And for her home, which is really the only thing of value that she has for that to be left in the hands of my oldest brother.

Hey, Kevin, this is going to Kevin. This is going to be important call. I'm going to put you on hold and we're going to we're going to answer this right after the break.

We'll have to come back to this because we've got to get more into the details so we can give you the right information so you can take the right course of action. Love it. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Hello, everyone, you are listening to the Dave Ramsey Show, Chris Hogan, John Delany here, and before we went to break, we were talking to Kevin. Kevin has got a situation where there's an inheritance at stake. His family has a way of handling things.

And right now he's saying that it's looking like his mother is choosing to take a different course of action. So, Kevin, what's going on? How's your mom planning to handle the inheritance? OK, she's she's planning to leave the house and the property, which is the only thing of monetary value, right, that she has, she's going to leave that all to my oldest brother, who doesn't have the history of making the best financial decisions. And I don't know how to get through to her that we don't want to have anything.

Our family is the youngest of five kids. And no, we're not the closest. But we're you know, we all get along pretty good. I just don't trust that my oldest brother would make the decisions that my mom would necessarily be happy with.

Have you sat down and talked to your mom? Have you had that hard conversation? Just briefly, she just says and she says, well, you know, that's what grandpa did, and I was talking to another German guy and I found out that that's kind of a German custom, just a cultural thing.

And so so here's the deal. Have you talked have you sat down, talked to your brother? No. OK, so you're going to you're going to stress over this and you're going to worry about it.

And it's a big deal.

And it makes sense that the inheritance is spread among kids. But at the end of the day, it is hard to hear that's your mom's money. Yeah. And she has to decide what she wants to do with that money. And your brother should split it up among the family that be cool.

If he did that, the only way you're going to know if he's going to actually do that is to sit down and have a hard conversation with him and do it in a loving way, in a kind way, in a respectful way. And that's it. And I know that sounds harsh. And I've heard about family suing each other and trying to get this. And I wanted that car. Man, that's just nukes, family, the family system.

So, yes, the money would be nice. It would be great. It's not yours. Yeah. And if it gets to your brother. Because your brother. Yeah.

I mean, that's the reality of it. And you can pre- stress all you want. And we were talking earlier, so no sense having to deal with something twice. You already got the the scenario in your head. It is what it is. And he's going to make the decision. You've talked to your mom. If you want to have another conversation with her, you can. But ultimately, it's her call.

I think. I think the right conversations with your brother.

Yeah. You know, and do both and see and then go from there. But the most important thing is enjoy your mom while she's here. You know, the family dynamic. I'm going to tell you it's going to get weirder if you guys aren't clear and everyone is on the same page right now. All right. We've got next up, we got Jessica calling in from Lubbock. Jessica, how are you? How are you focus about finishing, lady?

What's your question for Dr. John and I?

Well, my ultimate question is if my fear is running our financial decisions, both my husband and I work in the health care profession. So I was able to get out of here on the floor and found a job working from home. But I took a 50 percent pay cut to do that because the facility I was working for did not provide the proper team for the patients. So I was able to do that. Now, my husband, he works at a different facility and they just now have their own covid unit and they don't have the proper people to keep up and keep it there either.

And he is contemplating quitting. But I have no idea where he would go if he quit one day, be set free. We have about 10000 saved up and so that will probably last about three months as he decides. So the fear is kind of rolling our heads a little bit here, I think, because he wants to quit because, you know, he doesn't want to get infected, obviously. And we have his parents are elderly and I say 90 year old grandmothers.

All right. I guess so. What would you do in this situation?

That sounds like a value question between you and your husband. And you look at your finances and you look at because that sounds like let me let me finish my thought. If you look at your finances, you look at your set of values and your unique circumstances, you've got a 90 year old that may or may not be living with you. You've got elderly parents on your husband's side. You have to you have to make those decisions.

It sounds to me like there's something deeper here, which is a lack of trust or a lack of respect for where he works. Is that fair?

Yeah, he feels pretty betrayed by them because he's been there for about six years and they've already given him a 10 percent pay cut. And what was it that was? You don't get four to five hours a day, right. So, Jessica, here's the thing.

Having that lack of distrust and feeling like he's not being treated fairly. What's next like that? That's my thing is I'm I'm looking around going how do I proactively make a move to the next thing? But I'm not going to be emotional and irrational and just make a stop out just because I think you've got to keep your family in mind as far as that goes. And so financially, what can you all do and how serious is he about finding this next thing?

And that means getting resumé updated, dusted off. I'm letting co-workers know, family, friends, everyone know that I'm looking for employment. Yeah, I mean, he's he's talked to other co-workers, some of them, you know, I'd better say they're deciding to stick it out. A lot of them don't have family close.

When I would I'd be careful on talking to too many of the co-workers that no other coworkers or other people that he knows that's in that line of work. I'd be careful inside of there talking about it. But I'm going to tell you this. One of the most important things you guys can do is to sit down and get on the same page. But, Jessica, he needs you more as a cheerleader now. I mean, I'm telling you, encouraging him to be able to think that he can because he's going to go from being mad and how they're treating him to a fearful that he can't leave, which makes it look like and feel like a hostage situation.

And hostages don't have power. Right. And so they feel powerless. So you really need to encourage him and help him boost his self-esteem.

And here's the deal. It doesn't matter what his coworkers thinks. It's the question on the table right now is the shared values that you and him share.

That's right. And that's it. So it's going to be tempting to run around. I've been guilty of this in my career. What do you think? I heard so and so. Are you going to be.

None of that matters. None of that matters. You all to get in a room and you talk to one another.

But what your plans are, what your health needs are, what you guys are both health care professionals. You know, if this is a safe situation or a not safe situation. That's right. You know, the medical material that you're reading and paying attention to, that's all you can do. Right? And then you'll make a good decision. I'm like, Chris, I never want to recommend somebody jump off a jump off the doc until, you know, a boat is there.

Yeah. I also understand moments when you just say I can't work at a place where I the value so so are out of alignment with how I live my life and what I think is fair and right.

That's a real tough decision. Thanks for the call. I love it. I love it. And you're right.

They do need to sit down. They need to talk, get on the same page. Let me share with you today the scripture of the day. This is first Timothy for twelve. Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech. Conduct, love, faith and purity. Show yourself an example of those who believe that this quote comes from Tim Fargo. Your friends will believe in your potential. Your enemies will make you live up to it.

Wow, that's powerful. That is powerful. We've got an opportunity as we look at things and really start to think about what we're doing as we move forward. We've got tough times. But I'll tell you what, man, getting connected with the right people will keep you focus and center. Dr. John, you have down you've got an anxiety relief check list that's available at John Delaney. Dotcom anxiety is a real thing right now that's impacting a lot of people, whether it's loss of job, whether it's fear of illness, income situations, whatever it is, anxiety will impact relationship.

That's right. And so I want you to get on here, check out the anxiety relief checklist just to see where you fall and go to John Deloney Dotcom. Well, listen, I want to thank Dr. Dean for being with me this hour. I want to thank our producer, Zach Bennett, associate producer Kelly Daniel. And I want to thank all the callers for taking the time to call it. I don't want to thank all your listeners for tuning in.

This has been the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over. And if you heard about an event, product or service, it didn't have a chance to write it down. Don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast. Show us or head to Dave Ramsey, dot com. Thanks for listening. Hey, if you've got questions about retirement investing or becoming an everyday millionaire, go bigger and broader with my man Chris Hogan on the Chris Hogan Show.

I am excited to be able to talk to you all week in and week out. We're going to focus on your calls and it's going to focus on building wealth investing and how to become an everyday millionaire. Subscribe to the Chris Hogan Show wherever you listen to podcast.

Hey, it's James, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.