Gift-Giving in My Family Is Giving Me Anxiety (Hour 2)
The Dave Ramsey Show- 1,064 views
- 20 Jul 2020
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions Broadcasting. But the car rental studio. This is Dave Ramsey Show where. Hands out to have a conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O'Neal cohosting today. With me this hour is my dear friend, good friend, Dr. John Boloney. Jubilate eight to five, five to two five eight eight to five five two to five. If you have any questions about your life, anxiety, your mind, your mental state, what can you do to really help you elevating your life or just about your money?
If you're a millennial, you have a question about any of that type of stuff. Give us a call. The one and only dopeheads in building. I'm in a building and we would love to have a conversation with you.
How would you like him if it was all right? How about yours? It was good.
I played a lot of golf and just enjoyed. I'm getting better at this golf game.
It's ridiculous. It's a it's a ridiculous game. And let the Internets let me up on that one. Yeah, I read some books.
I'll get him. He just said golf is not a good sport. I went hiking. You went hiking. I did. That's good.
It was good man to a little boy hike and it was good me some time out in the heat. It's hot. It is man. Nashville, Tennessee. It's hot.
It really is. It really is.
And I can't afford to get any darker so I can afford a lot. I mean, I'm I'm embarrassingly, embarrassingly pale, so I definitely need to get outside.
Some is beautiful, beautiful man. How would a shout out the YouTube family? Every time I get on the show, I like to personally thank our YouTube tribe for watching us. We got about 2200 amazing people watching us on YouTube live right now. Thank you all so much for tuning in. If you're ever one day just sitting at the house, you should definitely log on to YouTube, check out the Dave Ramsey Show live to see John and I and Kristy and Hoggins and kids and Dave's facial expressions and the comments section are just amazing.
So shout out to the YouTube family, but jubilate 8255. We have a whole hour. We want to talk to you, answer your questions. And they started off with Kelly out in Houston. Kelly, how can Daddy and I help?
Hi, thank you so much for taking my call today. So I've been dreaming and working on an e-commerce business for a few years, and I'm to the point where I need to make a decision on how to fund the business. And I've researched a couple of options to do so and wanted to get your input on which option makes the most financial sense or if either of these options are not good financial sense. So the two options I've researched are either using my existing IRA to roll money over and set up an owner K or use existing IRA money to set up a business IRA.
I wanted to see which one you would recommend. I don't like either one of them, actually.
They're both IRA. So both means the future. OK, we do everything. We do everything straight up cash here. We don't borrow against our future. We don't take out from our future. All the things that we are going to suggest as you do is move slowly and move with cash. Are you going to move at the speed of your cash? What's your business?
OK, well, it's the first phase of it. It's going to be a guest slash care package. Goodness. Hmm.
What kind of gifts? What kind of care package is different?
So the idea being and I do want to start off slow and and hopefully grow it over time, but in the beginning, do you know gifts for Newbon, gifts for like spa packages, kind of have a little something for male and female. Yeah.
So let me ask you this question. How much do you think you need to successfully start off? So I've done I've reached out to a marketing agency and they've given me actually I reached out to several and the one that I like the most and they're willing to work with me. So your your input on starting off slow, they are willing to work with me on that. But if I wanted to go all in and do everything upfront, which they would help me develop my website and develop my brand logo, et cetera, it would be about seventy five thousand dollars.
Yes, that's a lot of money for a logo. That's a lot of money for a Web site. That's a lot of money that for for someone starting off slow.
OK, you can e-mail the Web site at your level right now for about 600 to a thousand dollars. You can build a logo for your level right now for about five hundred dollars.
And so I think oftentimes a lot of people get excited all about to go into business, about jump out there and they jump way out there and when honestly taking one step at a time.
So this is what I'm going to recommend, Kelly. I am going to almost certainly have Kelly give you our phone producer, give you a copy of Christy Wright's book business boutique. And I want you to read that book. She's really going to walk you through the process and how to do certain things.
I want you to go online. I don't want you to look up some affordable Web sites because you do need a website. I do believe that it is important you do need a decent logo for right now. But what I love about moving at the speed of cash dot Diddy, is I don't have to come out with a 10000 dollar logo because a ten thousand dollar logo is not going to make someone else want to buy into my products even more. It's it's my product and it's my service of how I treat them.
And it is the product quality.
And that's what I love about Christie's book, is it's going to it's going to reinforce that idea. When I get a basket from somebody that, you know, like this business in Houston is going to be a that's a great idea. It's going to be a great business.
But when I get my basket from somebody who cares and loves about me, that's me giving you a hint there. Anthony, you're going to send me a basket.
You're not a new mom. I'll look at it. It was for men and women, too. But, you know, new daddy neither. That's true. All right. But I would get it and I would look at it and I'd say, this is awesome.
I'm going to look at the card and then I'm going to get somebody out of that one. Right. So it's going to be word of mouth. It's going to be slow graspable. It's going to be incredible grassroots building. And yeah.
Well, you're not trying to dig out of a seventy five thousand dollar hole that you borrowed against your future just to get out the door. Right, absolutely.
And then marketing it to you can market your own you can market yourself right now with the power of social media today. You can get out there and do some ad spins with Instagram or Facebook. But MySpace, if they still around, it's MySpace. MySpace is not around anymore.
I'm giving them a shout out. I like MySpace. You know, you get it. You can get creative with how you do it, you know, right now. Set a goal, set a goal.
And this is for anybody who wants to start a business.
Use your market if you start a business, use usual market. One market is, hey, who are the people who are already know? And then when you get them buying into your product, can you refer me to your social media page? Can you tag me in a picture in the now your warm market is reaching out to their warm market to send you customers, you clients. You don't have to go out there and drop a large cheque. You don't have to go out there and had this big old business.
No baby steps, baby steps along the journey. And as you're building your cash, then you're elevating, then you're stepping up. But never, ever you guys borrow against your IRA. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever borrow money. Never, ever, ever trust a government to give you money as a grant. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't do it. Don't do it. And it's hard when you want to start a business and you get that that TIAA-CREF letter every month or every quarter that says, hey, you got seventy five thousand dollars a year. Yeah. You just borrow from it and we'll make it easy for you. I get the temptation. Don't do it. Don't don't don't do it in YouTube. I did say MySpace. I know that. Not true. I just had to make this is the Dave Ramsey Show.
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Triple eight two five five two two five that Daddy and myself are here answering your questions, some of you on YouTube have said it's been busy. We have about one or two phone lines open. Love to have you call in and ask us a question because we love just talking. You know, this is this is an open show. Give us a call and we can answer any question about your money, about your life. If you're struggling by anything, give us a call.
Triple eight, 8255, two to five. We're going to go out to Desmoulins and have a conversation with Alyssa. Alyssa, how can that be? And I hope. Hi, guys, how are you doing today? So good, Alyssa, how are you doing? Well, so I am currently on baby step two and I just want to say absolutely kicking butt. And I'm like taking names like I'm loving this. I feel like I'm doing fantastic.
And so I just wanted to say, like, it's been amazing so far.
That's incredible. Good for you. Thanks. And so with all that excitement, I also have some anxiety I've been kind of dealing with. So I have a big family, five siblings, and none of them are doing the same process, which, you know, they do their own thing. I do my own thing. And when it comes to like holidays and birthdays, we all come together and get my parents really big gifts. So I like silver.
My dad's birthday's coming up and we just bought him a three thousand dollar mower at means a 64 16th birthday. So like I say, a bigger gift. But when my brother texted me saying it was going to be four hundred dollars, like my stomach just dropped. Yeah. Yeah. So it was like I have a couple of part time jobs. And so that was almost a full two week part time. That's my paycheck. And so I'm just trying to figure out like how to handle that, how to say no without feeling judged, because I definitely have some close minded siblings and I even like I even lie to my dad when he's like I'm like, hey, dad, I just put off load.
He's like, that's awesome. Are you saving for retirement, though? Like, make sure. And I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm not right now because I just I don't have that confidence and I just kind of start feeling that anxiety when I'm not doing what they are used to doing in the like they you know, they love loans they love and they love credit card. So I'm just trying to get some advice on how to communicate with them, I guess, and live life differently than they do without having that stress during holiday season.
Sure.
So I want to back out a few things first and then I'll get to your question. I'd love to hear Anthony's expertise do one.
I want you to make a conscious effort to not use the word anxiety in this situation. I want you to reserve anxiety for moments when you're in your fight or flight.
Response has spun out of control and you've got intrusive thoughts and your heart is racing and you're not sleeping and you find yourself wanting to be alone, which is leading you towards a path towards depression.
OK, and that's that's a it's a personal thing with me. And it's this idea that we have over pathologies, everything in the world said.
The second part of that is this sucks for you. Right. And instead of saying I've got anxiety about it, say it's really stressing me out because I've got a family who doesn't understand that I'm trying to change my family tree and live differently.
And it's real frustrating and annoying.
Is that some fear we get there? Yeah, OK, that's awesome.
So the second thing is 100 percent chance you're going to be judged. And so if you choose to live differently or walk differently or not have debt or to do anything Dave calls it, just be weird. You're going to be judged and I'm just going to tell you to set that brick down and not carry that around for for other people in your life. That's just going to be part of it. And then the third thing in Anthony Hoppen here, I think you've got to set a budget for yourself and what you can afford and not.
And then you've got to call your brother back and say, this is what I can do this year, and I'm not putting dad's gift on a credit card. And I don't think you have to go on that road, quite honestly. You tell him, hey, I can pitch in a hundred dollars this year. That's what my financial situation is going to allow me to do. And so if you all still want to get a three or four or five thousand dollar gift for Old Man, then feel free to do that.
This is as much as I can contribute. And if they want to drink to hatred and get all over you and whine and moan, that's their bricks to carry and that's their problems, not yours. And so I just want to give you full permission to say, here's what I can do, here's what I can't do and then just be done with it. You know, I totally agree with that.
You know, Sandy from hearing says she says something that I hear that I like from YouTube. She says communicate respectfully, but there your boundaries. And that's right. That's absolutely true.
So send from YouTube. Awesome, awesome advice. Like, you know, if you just respectfully say, hey, this is where I am, this is what I can do. This is what I can't do in a respectful, loving and honoring way. Those are your boundaries. And there's nothing wrong with having boundaries. You worked hard for your money, so you have the right to say what you can or can't say. So that's my two cents on that.
And I said, Desmoulins, what was I thinking? It was demoing. Right?
You're going to get there, Anthony. Ladies and gentlemen, if you do have a spare geography book, feel free to send it to Ramsey Solutions and we'll make sure that Anthony gets it.
You know what? I'm a get this next one, right? We're looking at this computer screen about a mile away. So going to go out to Atlanta and have a conversation with Drew.
Drew, how can that today and I help. Hey, guys, so I'm twenty three years old and I recently gained control of about four hundred fifty thousand dollars. Most of it's in mutual funds and some in stocks and then about 60000 thousand in an IRA. This is all through inheritance. And so I just wanted to know, like. What is the best way for me to go about having this money along with my job and what I'm contributing to a 401k to help you financially in 20 years?
If so or like if and that's if I choose not to work. But I probably would still want to work at that time.
That's a good question. You know, what are you doing right now for a living?
Drew, I'm an auditor. OK, and how much money do you make a year right now? About 54000 dollars, 54 K in Atlanta. That's good money. And then how much debt do you have right now? Zero zero debt, Drew, Drew. I mean, 23 years old, bro, come on. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to touch bases with a financial adviser and I am going to say, hey, listen, this is what this is what I have.
And this is one thing that I love that both of our co-workers and one of my dear friends, good brothers, Chris Hogan, says retirement is not age. It is a financial number. So would you having 450000 dollars that you're inheriting right now specifically, specifically going to get with this financial adviser and he's going to sit down or she's going to sit down and tell you, hey, here's the best way to invest it? I'm not withdrawing any of that money right now if I'm in your shoes.
True, OK, because I want that to grow. You have 450000 dollars. By the time you turn 33, that 450 could be worth anywhere from 750 to about a million dollars, depending on how you invested. So immediately I am connecting with a financial adviser. And you know what? Let's do this. I want you to hold on phone. I want you to get with Kelly, because when they said one of our financial coaches, you're going to walk you through that, the first one is going to be on me because I want to sew into your life at the age of 23 years old to get some financial advice.
One of our coaches and we're going to connect to one of our smart dollar and a smart dollar. One of our LPs endorsed local providers are smart investors. And we're going to help you out with that, because I really want you to win this 450000 dollars.
What he's doing, if he is a good steward and smart right now, John Izarra, he's got 23, 23 years old.
He's he's all the way down the road, right? Yes. And now he can do is he can really double down, get that six month emergency fund laid out and then immediately start saving for a house.
And he doesn't even have to worry about his retirement for the next minute because he's just got a gift.
Yeah, the way he's rolling right now, he could be retired actually by 43 if he's smart.
Well, Andrew, I also want to pass this along. Everyone in your life that you know well is going to have an opinion on what you need to be doing with this money, where you should put it what you should be buying. Why are you driving that car? You got all this money you should be doing this? Or why aren't you living in this neighborhood? Because you got all that money.
Trust your smart Vesterbro, get a path, get a vision, as Chris Hogan says, plan it in 3D. You know exactly what it's going to look like and then follow that plan and let everybody else fall by the wayside. Exactly. Don't listen to people to get millionaire advice. Listen to a professional job.
I'm really excited. Coming up next, we got a young couple over here with the kids on the debt free scream stage. I can't wait to see your next show. I think you know where I stand on timeshares by now, no, they are not investments. If you're in the unfortunate position of owning one call timeshare exit team, they will go to bat for you when the timeshare turns you down and when you hire timeshare exit team before the end of the month to exit you from your timeshare, they'll give you a huge savings for paying by cash check or an auto draft call eight four four nine nine nine exit or time-Share exit team dotcom.
Some exclusions apply see site for details. In the lobby of Ramdas Solutions on the debt free stage, Joshua and Erica are with us. Hey, you guys, how are you all doing this afternoon? Hello. Nervous? Yes.
Nervous for why you have the two coolest people here with you. It is true.
And one of us is a Texan, so it's good. Good to be with you. Awesome man. So where do you currently live?
Burleson, Texas. Where is that? Just south of Dallas. Fort Worth, south of Dallas. Well, the Fort Worth. Fort Worth. OK, ok. OK. Is it hot out there?
Yes, very, very. Is it. How did the Tennessee. Yes. Oh yeah. I'm glad I'm. Stay right here.
All right, you guys. So how much have you guys paid off the 107. 1755. Seven hundred and fifty five dollars.
Yes. How long did it take you? Thirty two months.
Yes, 32 months. All right.
So you'll ground it down, huh? Yeah, we're in it. Yes, he did.
That's about two and a half years. So during that time frame, what was your range of income during that time?
We started off at about 125 average and then we went up to about 155, 125 to 155.
What do you all do for a living? I'm an aircraft painter. You paint airplanes?
Yes. Oh, you a cool brother, man. Oh, Katie, what do you do, man?
I work for a nonprofit children's hospital in Fort Worth. OK, so he a cool one. You just have a real home. OK, I like this company. That's about right.
I would give her because since she saves children's lives and all, she's cool. You're cool too.
Well when you go that far, I mean she's cool but I'm just saying that she has a real heart. That's right. You know, but he paints airplanes which is dope.
That's incredible. Balance each other out. That's incredible. All right. So what type of debt was this? One hundred and seventy thousand dollars.
We had everything, so we were pretty normal. We had two vehicle loans, tons of credit cards, tons, tons like that.
And yeah, well, those were just mine. That wasn't even including his.
What was that 10 credit card. Yes, just your just mine.
How many did you have. I don't even think he fourteen fourteen twenty four credit cards between the two of you. Yes.
Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah yeah. I'm a real American. Normal cell phones, you know, finance cell phones, flute, wet vehicles, flute, a flute. My instrument because.
Why not. Right. Yeah because why not. Well when you're living paycheck to paycheck, I mean you got to. That's right. Gotcha.
OK, so any student loans in there. I had one very small. Very small.
So a lot of this was really like just consumer. What kind of cars did you all have, finance?
Well, I had my 2013 Chevy Malibu. She had a 2016 Ford F 150, and that's a beautiful truck now.
But we sold that so so that yes, towards the end of our journey, we it was just I guess we were tired.
It was we felt like it was taken too long and we kind of just decided to buckle down and get rid of it. It was worth it. I think it was like, what do we have left on it? Like 24, 24000.
We traded it in and got three dollars OK to take.
Oh, so I got to ask what happened. I got you two on this journey.
Yes. So we actually took Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University in Houston, Texas, where we were living, and we took that back in 2010 and we just didn't do it. We didn't believe we could and believe it. And so we didn't do anything. And so fast forward to 2017. We were living paycheck to paycheck, had all this debt. We're in a house. And we actually had three things that happened to me that was kind of like my I had it moments.
So the first one was, I have a large family. I'm the oldest of eight. And my younger brothers and sisters, they were having a hard time and they needed help with maintenance in their house. And so I'm a giver. I love to help people, love to help my brothers and sisters. I wasn't able to do that. So I had to start a go fund me page for them. And that hurt my pride. Wow. I don't like asking for help or asking for money.
And so that hurt sales. First time I had to kind of buckle up and say I didn't have money. The second time was our fence blew down. We had a storm come and I tell my neighbor and I have like 500000 dollars to pay for the fence. And so we had to pay him in payments. So that was embarrassing. Another hurt to my pride. And then the third thing is I backed out with my truck in the parking garage and I hit a Lexus and so did my tell my co-worker that I didn't have 500 dollars to pay for that.
So three times my pride was hit and it was a matter of months. And so the early 2017, I just I was done. I had it and I was Googling and trying to figure out how to get out of debt, how to stop living paycheck to paycheck. And of course, Dave Ramsey shows up and it's like, hey, of course, we took the cars back in 2010. Why didn't I think about this before? So from that point forward, it was, I'm done no more.
Had to get him on board. Kind of a challenge in the beginning and then just, you know, picking up a second job, a second job, delivering pizzas, listening to the Dave Ramsey Show while I was driving, delivering pizzas, I was my motivation, listening to all the debt free screens.
So so, Jastrow, I got to ask you a question. Your wife said it was hard to get you on board. You bold enough to tell us live on the air. Why was it hard to get on board?
I was I'm a free spirit. I like to just. Just do your thing. Yes. When you do when you want to do it. How you want to do this.
I'm not a planner. You're not a planner. No, I'm on the go. You're on the go.
I get it. I get it. You're the planner. The nerd. I'm the spreadsheet girl. Yeah.
Yeah, that's totally me. OK, what would you all say was the key thing throughout these 32 months? What was the key thing of getting out of debt for me?
I think it was one believing that you can do it, because once I believed I could and I knew I was done, that's kind of what turned it around. My mindset changed. The second thing was kind of communication, opening up, talking to him like we had to confront our debts. We had separate bank accounts, separate money. His paycheck was his paycheck. My paycheck was mine.
And so getting on the same page, being on board together, kind of talking about our debt, looking at it, facing that big number, that big scary number and just trusting each other, that we're going to be able to take care of each other and join our bank accounts and just all those little things that we didn't have in the beginning.
So you're looking at a bunch of macho dudes across the country whose wives are scared and terrified and frustrated and exhausted. And she comes home and says, now's the moment. What do you tell those dudes? It's worth it.
Wow. Really worth it. Because I got tired of living paycheck to paycheck also. So it's just working overtime just to pay the extra credit cards.
And it just took too much of my time, my weekends away from the kids and. Wow. So I had to suck it up and do it.
Well, you two are free. Yeah. So now since you're free, what's next. I was. How do you what's the next move for the family. Well I mean it's so crazy that it happened this way. But what's next for us? You know, God truly does have a plan. And for us, we didn't know this back then. We have two teenage boys, so we kind of thought we were done. And so we are actually expecting our third child.
Oh, so, yeah.
So we can, you know, we can raise this child and not have all that stress and and debt. Oh, changes literally changes our family tree. Well I know what's next for you.
You two are going to be everyday millionaire and you will be passing down millions and wealth to your children. So we're going to give you a copy of Chris Hawkins book, Everyday Millionaire, because we already know that would be your next chapter in your life. And so we see here that you have Andrew and Adam with you. They're going to join you on stage. Oh, sharp young man two OK, are those Jordans? I said no. Hey, before you scream, I want you to not lose this moment.
Those two boys walked with you through this whole thing. Yes. Yes. And they are going to have different family trees because of the sacrifice you two made over the last two and a half years. And guys, I don't want you to miss this. Your mom and dad are modern day rock stars, right. And your buddies have flashier cars that their parents don't own. And they probably got fancier clothes that they don't really own. Your mom and dad is what's up?
And I'm proud of you to represent in Texas. I'm proud of you, too, for saying no more. We're changing everything from this point forward. And you did it. Congratulations, guys.
All right, you guys, we have Joshua in Erica. One hundred seven thousand dollars paid off in thirty two thousand months. Let's hear a debt free scream. Three to one where free.
Oh. You know, here's the thing, when you all are family and you sit here and you say, you know what, I want to be dead. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I want to take care of my young people. Get smart, you got my decision to just start, and that's exactly what they did. It's incredible. They're changed their family tree. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. So before the break, we had Joshua and Eric, Erica in the building doing their debt free scream and man, I don't know what I'm doing with my words that slipped up again.
You know, I said demoing room and I said they paid off their debt. And 32000 months is 32 months, Americans, 32 months. YouTube is like Anthony is hilarious. So I had to clean that up.
I think that if you keep working on it, you're going to get there. Maybe you're going to get their blogs outcome 100 percent, 100 percent satisfaction guaranteed means.
If you miss a measure or pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free. You get free samples, free shipping. And with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use promo code Ramsey to get the best deal rules and restrictions to apply. Today's question comes from Greg in Georgia. He writes, Dave Ramsey, welcome to ask. I have gone through the baby steps and gotten to step five. And then I got a parent plus loan to help my son, who was already college age.
And when I started the program, we owe about 27000 dollars in a parent plus loan with deferred payments.
Who should I start back over at step two and stop everything, tithing, investing, etc. and dump all money to knock this out? I'm investing 15 percent of my income and I have a three month fully funded emergency fund.
So, yeah, first and foremost. You knew better and we're not going to beat you up over the 27000 our parent plus loan, but you knew better you already on the plan, but here we are. So you took out another loan, go back to step to keep tithing. But go ahead and go back to step two and you got to dump everything in and pay this thing off. You've got your fully funded emergency fund. I want to get this thing knocked out.
I don't know what your take home pay is, but let's get this thing wrapped up a as a P.
Yes, not bad. Not the deal. I agree with you.
I'm learning my money by Dave long enough and eventually just seeps in there and me.
Thank you. That was a good answer. No, I agree with everything. He's everything he's saying to you, Greg. Absolutely. We want you to stop everything. Here's the only thing I want you to do is I want you to do not stop tithing, OK? Do not stop tithing. That's a heart issue. Yeah, yeah. Character issue. Yeah, yeah.
So I want you to pause everything, stop, pause your 401k, pause your investments, pause your savings and go back to baby step number two. And I want you to go ahead and attack that debt. But we never tell anyone to stop, to stop tithing my personal spiritual beliefs. That's the very first thing with my money. If you're not a believer, if you don't if you don't practice a Christian faith, totally respect that. But we're very, very big on giving.
Going to go out to Midland, Texas, and have a conversation here with Joe. Joe, good afternoon.
How can Dr. Dean, my self-help book doing goes on. Pleasure to speak with you. Yeah. I mean, yes, I work in the oil fields out here in London and I'm not sure I made a ninety three thousand. Oh, wow. Because of the downturn in the oil industry, my income is right now that it was set to take about thirty two thousand. OK, well, that was already making me nervous as it was. So I looked for a job back home.
I live four hours from where I work. I found a job so I can return in like two weeks, and they offered me more hours here at work, so now I'm kind of torn. I don't know what to do. You know, I've already had my heart to set to go home with my daughter and my wife. And I just don't know what to do or stay here with the money or the money that the money is not going to be what it was last year.
If anything of the increase in hours of pregnancy, it's about 50000, maybe a little bit less because of you know, it's already been six months that I've been short on hours.
Yeah. How does your daughter, ma'am? My daughter's 16.
16. OK, and how much and you probably said this. I just want to make sure I'm hearing it correctly. How much would you make if you moved back home, if you stayed home to that area?
If I move back home, I'll make the leap. Thirty thousand thirty. To me, I was willing to lose the two thousand dollars to be at home with my family. But the thing is, I'm also about ninety thousand dollars in debt. I have two vehicles. I have student loans, personal loans and some medical debt. OK, so I know I would have to get rid of my vehicle, which I, but I really don't care. I just don't want to use my house.
Yeah, but I just don't have the money to purchase a vehicle.
OK. All right. All right. Well, here's the thing, Joe, and I'll let Dr. David step in here a little bit as well. OK.
My number one priority as a father, if I am a father, is my is my daughter OK? I'm losing 2000. I'll lose twenty thousand dollars to be near my daughter because my number one priority in life is to be a father, is to train this child up in a way that she should go your your your daughter's mother should not be doing it by herself or the majority of the work your your parents, her parents should be doing. It should be the mother and father together raising.
So for me, that's priority. I'm getting back to my daughter. After that, I am going to be starting to figure out, OK, how can I be a good steward with this season that a man. So how can I make more money? How can I be a good steward of my gifts to bring in more money? If I'm making 30000 jobs over here, can I maybe start a part time business on the side? Can I pick up some extra shifts?
Can I do this? What else can I do to get my Amca income coming up so I can attack my debt? But I don't want you to say, you know what, I'm going to pay off my debt, then take care of my daughter, then get back to my daughter. No, I want to be like I'm get closer to my daughter. She's six years old. She needs her father in her life. And I'm going to pay off my debt.
That's my main focus. So right now, we can give the practical stuff on how to how to really get out of debt. But I really want you to be a father. That's that's the thing right now is being a father. Then if you follow our principles, the seven baby steps that's going to walk, you get into debt. The only thing you want to do is figure out how can you make a little bit more income? How can you use your gifts and your talents to get your income on?
OK, got to be it, and I'll just follow up with this man I've got a lot of my friend and friends and community are in West Texas and you guys have taken a bath this year.
It's been rough, right? Yes, sir. Yeah, it's been tough.
And I know that's super scary. And I know that the oil fields go up and down like like a roller coaster. The farming goes up and down like a roller coaster. No, it's terrifying, but it's been pretty good for the last few years and then it just got gnarly. Here's what I do know.
Are you what do you do out in the field? I work at the ballpark. I don't actually go out to the field. What I do is I I know the cement truck mix the chemicals with the cement and they take it off to the wells to to cement those over to them.
That's right. Yeah. Yeah. So you know what I know about you, Joe? I know that you can outwork most people in the United States of America two to one. And I know that you don't mind working when it's hot. You don't mind working when things are heavy and you don't mind working when things get hard. And I know this number three about you is that you have to use not only your muscle, but you got to use your head because you got to be safe doing that stuff.
Am I right on all three of those?
Yes, sir. Yes, especially on the army. That's right, young man.
It's been brutal. You guys got smoked the last week or two, so we did.
Here's the thing. I think you can find a job more than 30000 bucks. Yeah, I think you can find a job more than 50000 bucks. And I don't even know which direction you're talking about moving to. But I know with your work ethic, with your work mind and your love for your family, you can put it together. I, I can't I don't have a crystal ball. I can't tell you what the what the oil prices and the gas prices are going to be.
I do want to see you get a plan to get that ninety thousand dollars taken care of sell one of those trucks, figured that part out with your wife and you'll come up with a plan together.
I'm going to give you a year of RAMSI plus because I know you're a guy who works his butt off. And I also know you're a guy that found himself on the wrong end of an industry that dumped you guys out on your heads in the middle of a hot desert there in Midland, Texas. And I want to help you get off, get off your feet. But like Anthony said, I want to do what you can to get back around your daughter, OK?
You're a good man. Go get it.
You're a hard worker and we're rooting for your brother.
You know, Juma, read this from you from YouTube. Shelby Hoerr says, Joe, I hope you see this. My husband is or is in Oilfield two in Midland. We have sold our vehicles and saved four months to get cash cars. God made a way for us and I know he can make a way for you, too. I strongly believe that. Dr. thank you so much. I want to thank our producer, James Charles and Kelly Daniels, associate producer and phone lines.
Remember, you guys, the caliber of our future will be determined by the decisions we made today. And I want you to make the right one for you and your family. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over. But if you heard about an event, product or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry. We lost everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast, shout out or head to Dave Ramsey, dot com.
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