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[00:00:24]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Carpenters studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation, a real, relatable and relevant conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O'Neill, co-host. And today with me is one of my favorite, the one and only Dr. D, officially known as Dr. John Delany. We're sitting here answering your questions around life, around money, around relationships.

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He's really good at that. I'm not we're not going to get there, Anthony.

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Hey, man, listen around your money. Here's what I love. I love talking to all people about money. But if you're a young person in your 20s and 30s, everyone's young. But if you're in your 20s and 30s, give us a call, because I really want to help you start off your life. Right. Build a solid foundation. The number here, eight eight two five five two two five eight eight to five five two two five.

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Dr. Dean and I would love to have a honest conversation on this conversation with you. And I promise you, Kelly will get you through as soon as we open up some phone lines. She's the best phone screener and assistant producer we have. And so I'm just excited so we can go out to number four. She's not be paying attention to me.

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See, me is you just promise that they would get through. And I'm going to promise you, we get thousands of thousands of calls, especially with two good looking guys like us on the radio.

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They're not going to get a call anyway.

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We'll come through. We'll get them through. I mean, I believe in Kelly, John. John doesn't. But I do. I like Kelly some her good side.

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Thank you, Kelly. Going out to Chicago, we're going to have a conversation with Amanda. Amanda, good afternoon. How can Teddy and I help?

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Good afternoon. Thank you for taking my call. You bet. Amanda, how can we help?

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So just a quick OK, so here's just kind of what's going on. My brother's thirty, 35 years old. He's still living at home and he continuously spends money every weekend on strip clubs. Once know my dad retired. My mom has a lot in common. He doesn't provide financially. So, you know, I'm kind of the one that's witnessing this behavior and they allow that to continue. So at this point, it's like I don't know when it's going to stop and I don't know how to have a conversation with them about it.

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Have you sat down with your brother or your mom and dad before?

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I had conversations with my mom and spouse, but not my dad. My brother and I don't have the best relationship, so that's not an option to consider. But my mom just kind of you know, she makes a lot of her decisions based on emotion. So it hasn't really gone that far.

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So do you want a relationship with your brother? Do you want a relationship with your parents or do you want him to stop spending your inheritance? Like, what's what's the impetus behind this phone call? Are you jealous? Like, why do you want to get in the middle of this?

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I just, you know, with my parents, Ray, like I mean, but they're they're they're grown ups.

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They are grown people with grown people, money and grown people, decision making power. So what about this?

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And I'm trying to be provocative here, but what about this? Do you want to get in the middle of it?

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I just don't want to seem like it just bothers me seeing that my parents are taken advantage of because of my brother and they continue to allow that. It just bothers me and upsets me because, you know, my brother I mean, my parents have been there for my brother, my life. And sometimes when it comes to the fact that he can't afford, he doesn't. And, you know, my parents talk about it with me personally, but it's like they don't do anything about it.

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So I'm kind of it's upsetting seeing them. Right. Like, you know, I'm not going to be retiring soon, maybe in a couple of years or so. And if, you know, their retirees are going to be together and, you know, they're just going to continue to allow this behavior from, you know, my brother. So it's upsetting in that sense because, I mean, they deserve better than that. So I'm going agree with you.

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Hundred percent they do. Your brother's living his best life. He's 35 years old. He's got free rent free food.

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He's got somebody paying for strip clubs and he is living his best life. There's not an incentive to change in the world for him. And your parents are still getting to play fantasy parents, right? Because their son still home and they still get to feel like they're taking care of somebody and they get to still feel valued.

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And you're left out and you're taking care of your own life. You're doing the things the right way. You're honoring your mom and dad. The frustrating thing for you is there's nothing you can do about this, nothing you can. And I would I would strongly recommend that you sit down with your brother and say, I know we don't have a great relationship. I'm tired of seeing you take advantage of mom and dad. And but you don't have to decide whether you want to have that conversation just so you can have said it, like flex your muscles or if you want to sit down and have that conversation in a way that you can actually hear it and then you can do the same with your mom and dad and just know when you do that.

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And if they throw your brother out, then. Whatever fallout happens, fallout happens, but if it's the right thing, it's the right thing. I just don't want you to walk in with a fantasy that you're going to be able to change this because you're not.

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And I don't want you to walk in with your hopes up that you're going to be able to save your mom and dad from themselves because they're grown ups. And that usually doesn't work that way.

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If you want to just have the sense of justice in the sense of, yeah, I told them so go for it. Before you do that, I'd have you just peruse Facebook and Instagram right now for all the people who just want to be heard and say angry things to people that really aren't going to change anybody's behavior. And I want to like manure.

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This is heartbreaking, right? I'm not trying to make light of this. This sucks. This is awful, man. And I hate that your loved ones are in this situation. But at the end, they also want to recognize how powerless you are to actually fix it.

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So are you are you suggesting to her to not say something?

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No, no, no, no, no, no. I I'm trying to put myself in her shoes. There's a 100 percent chance I'm having this conversation. Yes. OK, what I don't want somebody to do is to have this conversation because they want to be the knight in shining armor, OK?

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Because that's probably not going to happen. Right. I don't want somebody to have a conversation based on jealousy. Like my brother's getting all this and I'm out here working, so I'm just going to nuke his situation. So that's gonna make me feel better because it's not.

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Yeah, and I don't want her to think that she's got power to change with her mom and dad are doing that. Said, there's a sense of there's a sense of right and wrong here in the sense of justice here. And I think that's worth having a conversation.

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It's a big deal to me.

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And this is a change I made several years ago that I stopped speaking just so I could have said something, who because I felt like I had to weigh in on every stinking issue, even issues that I weren't invited I wasn't invited to weigh in on just so I could have been, quote unquote, on the right side of that argument.

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And then I realized I was just Milton people around me, nobody asked for my opinion on this deal and here I come, bearing in mind whatever I thought I was bringing the conversation.

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So I switched to I want to speak. To be heard. Yeah. And so that means sometimes I talk differently to my 10 year old son than I might to my wife, that I might tell my friend that I might do some dude on the street because my goal is to be heard when I want to have a conversation, not to have said something that makes sense.

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That makes sense, because I was just wondering because, like, I totally agree with you that what there's 100 percent chance that I am going to have the conversation with my brother. I'm not going to my parents. I'm going to. And I would I'd go to my parents, too.

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Yeah. So I'm all right, brother, this is what's up now. After that, I think it's about peace and I'm talking about peace for my life. I'm not going to stress, so I'm going to put that brick down. I'm carrying it. Yes, I'm going to quit caring because after you've said what you've had to say, don't stress over their life. If the parents are allowing it and your brother still wants to do it, I got to go on about my life.

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That's right. You know, I'm not going to stress over somebody else's life. Amen. Triple eight, eight to five five two to five will be here for another thirty forty five minutes. Give us a call. As business owners were facing new challenges and looking for ways to communicate easily to our customers. That's why I recommend a podium. Podium works with over 55000 local businesses to help them share up to date information and stay in touch with customers.

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With podium, you can connect remotely with website visitors and collect payments all through text messaging. Plus, right now, Podium is offering their messaging tools for free to every local business in the U.S. Go to podium dot com to get started for free. That's podium dot com.

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Going out to Tulsa, Oklahoma, we're going to have a conversation with Mitchell Mitchell. Good afternoon. How can I help you? Good afternoon, guys. And watching on YouTube live so far to say thank you for all you do. Amen. So here's my question. My wife and I are on baby steps four or five and six. We're both 33 years old. We have three kids. They are six, four and one.

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And you are in Mitchell and that's it. And we love it. Brother, you are in deregulation's. Thank you, sir.

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So my question is this. We currently save one hundred dollars per month for each child and then the remainder of that we buy accordingly to put part of it into our mortgage. And I was wondering what the recommended allocation for that was. How much should we be putting towards education and when should we start putting it more towards the mortgage instead? Yes, a good question.

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So what's your what's your annual income right now where a single income family would make 66000? And my wife is a stay at home mom. She's the best one ever. And I'll fight anybody who says otherwise. Oh, I mean, what America knows.

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What's up, Asagai? So let me ask you this question. When you say you're saving 100 dollars a month, where are you saving his hundred dollars at right now? Is it in a 529? Are you doing this just in a regular savings account?

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It's an essay. It's an OK, so you have essay. OK, sounds good. And so for America, if you're listening right now, for those of you who may be new to the tribe and he's saying he's in baby steps four or five and six, pretty much what he's saying is he is investing 15 percent of his income. He is saving for the kid's college. And then also he is at the process now of about to pay off the house.

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And so I just want to make sure that you are pretty much caught up to what this conversation and where we're going here. But back to his original question. You're asking, what should you allocate? So here's the thing. When it comes to investing or are you talking about investing into your personal life or investing into your kid's life? Could you saving money for college? Certainly investing. Is this investing for your kids future or for you and your wife's future?

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That one is for the kids, correct? OK. We both my wife and I already have a bachelor's degree and we have no plans to go back.

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So pretty much what you're doing is you're doing about 24 was about 36, 36 hundred dollars a year.

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If you're doing it for a whole year for all three of your kids, what I'm going to do is just pretty much maxed out as much as you can. If you have an essay, maybe even talk to a smart, smart girl. One of our smart Vesper's Ciba will be even opening up a 529. If you want to do more of that, you can look into that. If you have an essay a lot of people actually don't have are not offering essays that much anymore.

[00:12:35]

The actual go ticket right now is a 529 college savings plan. So I would look into a smart Vesterbro and see if maybe you can open up a 529 if you already have the essay. Another thing you could do is open up a Roth IRA if you want to. If you want to invest some more as far as into their future. I would look into that looking into investing into a Roth IRA. But those are your three options right now when it comes to that outside of college investing, what else are you investing for?

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Like, what else are you trying to do outside of college or are you just trying to save up as much as you possibly can for your kid's college future?

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We are trying to save up as much as possible, but we currently live in a nine hundred square foot home and we're quickly doing now, yeah, we're kind to start putting more down towards our mortgage, build up the equity and use that as a downpayment towards what we're calling our forever home.

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Yeah, so. So hold on. You said you want to use your mortgage, build up to equity so you can sell that house to buy a new home. Am I hearing that correctly?

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Correct. OK, I like that. I like to 900 square foot home with three kids, family of five.

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I don't know if I'm going to invest too much more into my kid's future right now. I'm honestly going to keep that going because at their age, you're going to have a great return rate on that. Could you do doing 101 is twelve hundred dollars a year per kid. I'm honestly now thinking about what can we do to go ahead and get into a bigger home.

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Now that I really have a clear understanding of what you're doing, I'm looking at, OK, what can we do to get our family to a bigger home for right now while I am still investing into their college future?

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Makes sense. Yes, sir. Yeah.

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So are you looking for a specific dollar amount, Mitchell? Like, if you have an extra thousand bucks at the end of the month, how much of that should go to kids college versus how much of that you should pay your house down? Is that really at the end of the day? That's correct. Where should that breakpoint be kind of given our situation? And Anthony, my understanding for baby steps four or five and six is once you pull that 15 percent aside, then that's a conversation between you and your future where you think your kid's going to be going to school.

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Are you going to pay your house off in cash flow college? I mean, that's where that those ratios aren't exact. It's really what specific for you and your family?

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Yeah, we don't really have specific dollar amounts and we're not going to say put 100 dollars every single month into, you know, your retirement is 15 percent of your retirement, your gross income into, you know, either Roth or Roth IRA 401k or any kind of retirement accounts when it comes to your child's college experience. Baby, step number five. What I really want you to do is just focus maxed out that that plan as much as you possibly can.

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Here's what I do say. I'm not sacrificing my retirement to fund my kids college. Right. OK, so for him right now, he's investing a good amount. I always say bare minimum, put 100 dollars a month into an ISA or 529 for your kid, 40 kids outside of that. He's winning. I mean, six form one. So especially is one year on his four year low. Very good. Sandi's right now. But the problem is a family of five living in a 900 square foot, you know, situation right now.

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I don't like that, you know. So what I'm saying is if they have the income, they can go ahead, keep doing what they're doing, but go ahead and get into a bigger home because, ah, he's already setting his kids up to win. Right, 18, 17. 13 years from now for the six year old, so that's that's honestly what I'm recommending. I really love that question and I really, really do, and what I did in my house is I took it, I took a quasi arbitrary number and I reverse engineered it and said, OK, my kid's going to be in college and this many years.

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And so I'm going to back up and say, what's that monthly? What monthly? Trying to put into an account so that when they graduate, they're going to go they're going to have this much and then the rest of that I'm going to attack and have no, um, no mortgage so that I can cash flow, I can support them and help cash for the rest of it.

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Go, man, I love it. You know, a lot of people come up to me and I was like, man, we have a student loan crisis problem. I like. Well, not only do we have a student loan crisis problem, we have a parenting problem. That's right. You know, it's it's and that's why I love that call. Yeah.

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Because he's saying, what should we do? We want to take care of our kids. But at the same time, we also want to make sure that we're also taking care of them today, giving them a good place to live and in giving them a little bit more room to breathe. And so, you know, your kids are going to go to college. My family right now, we have a 529 open for all for my nephews and these because we know for sure they will have the opportunity to go to school.

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So if you know their father belief, Glenn Henry, you know, he doesn't really force he's not forcing school onto them. You know, he said, hey, whatever you want to do, that's what we're going to support you. So if they decide to go to school, boom, they're going to have some money there so they can go to school debt free. If they do not go to school, then we're going to use that money for other things for them.

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But let me tell you what else I can tell you.

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My vision. And this is something that I'm teaching to young people. You want to help your kids start where you finish, hmm, not start where you started. I don't have any kids yet. And a moment that I do, my vision for them is I'm going to pay for their in-state school and my kids will go out of state unless they get a scholarship. Not only that, when they get married, they will get a check from me for 150000 dollars or I'm buying their first house because I want my kids to start where their mom and I finish.

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I want to give them a head start. I want to start building generational wealth. I want to show them what they can have. So if I do that for them, then what's happening? They're going to do that for their kids and then they're going to do that for their kids. Now we're creating something new. I'm passing down wealth, wisdom and knowledge, not debt and bills. And in addition to generational wealth, I'm going to give them generational tools so I might pay for their college.

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I'm not going to buy my kid a house. I am going to teach my kid how to pay for a house. I may surprise them on the back end, set them up in the beginning. There you go. The house I give them going to be their first house that'll set them up to buy the next house. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I heard a statistic recently that absolutely blew my mind, 43 percent of Americans are not protecting their loved ones with life insurance.

[00:19:31]

This drives me crazy people. What are you thinking? Taking care of your family has to be a top priority. That's what term life insurance is all about. Regardless of where you are in the baby steps, you've got to make this a priority. And that's why I talk about Zander Insurance every day. They keep it simple and make sure they find you the best rates out there. Go to Zander Dotcom or call 800 356 42 82. But you have to take the first step.

[00:19:57]

That's Zander Dotcom. We're going to go out to one of my favorite cities in America, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and have a conversation with George George. Good afternoon. How can Dr. DMI self-help? Hey, good afternoon to you guys. Thanks. Thanks for taking me. I love it out here. North Carolina is great. I am.

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You know, I'm from Fayetteville, North Carolina, so, you know, I love it. How can we help that?

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My question is directed towards John. We got the we got the finances going real good as a family unit and everyone's going good. So we're real happy about that. But my question is about about myself. And I just have a deficiency. And I hate to admit it, but I'm glad that there's an environment. I can just feel comfortable saying I have a deficiency as a man and as a husband. And that is I read a lot of self-improvement and I'm learning about grace, communication, listening, particularly with my wife.

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And just it's really just, you know, my wife and my family. But, gosh, I get a I get frustrated, I break down, I get anxious over something that, you know, didn't didn't line up exactly the way I envisioned it or see it. And I can't implement that. I just can't implement what I'm reading. I just it's like water gets thrown in my brain and my brain's the electric board, you know, I just short circuit and I'm just having difficulty implementing the tools that I'm trying to learn.

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So, George, give me an example, man. I hear you being vulnerable and I'm grateful for that man. Give me an example.

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Yeah, OK. Well, it stems from half a year, year and a half ago, we built a house on my in-laws property. They gave us land and it was nice. But during that time, she were our financial planner. Now I'm working weekends. I'm going to pay this thing off in 15 months. We have about two hundred fifteen thousand year to pay it off. And that that in itself does not really. We're all on board with that.

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My wife, my kids are. But the example is I learned that I'm not built for a fluid environment. I need compartmentalized time with with family and people. And so I end up getting mad when the environment becomes too fluid. And and I just can't I can't wrestle with it. You know, that's that's probably the main issue that's causing some of this.

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So, George, can I can I give you some peace?

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Yeah, you're like almost every man in America and your sense of purpose is based on what you can accomplish, executing a plan, doing a thing. You refer to yourself as having deficiencies because you're a machine that is just missing the right nozzle, and then you can go about your business in an orderly fashioned way.

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And that's a curse on men across this country because it's wrong, wrong, wrong. And so what, you just don't get a lot done that way, you do, you know what you do and then you start smoking, your clogs come off, and then what men do after they're done accomplishing things and they realize that their worth isn't accomplishing things is they start getting anxious, they start feeling shame. And the way men show that they are struggling as they put their chest out and they start trying to control crap around them, and then when they can't control everything around them, they get more frustrated.

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And so they do the only thing they they know what to do with as they take their big arms and they squeeze tighter and tighter and tighter and then people around them start choking. Am I on to something with you?

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Yeah, absolutely. I'm man enough to admit that.

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And so then what we try to do is we try to solve it with a new instruction manual. So we want to get a new podcast and another book and another book and another book and shove more information down the front of our brains. And the problem is not in the front of our brains. It's in our amygdala.

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It's in the back of our brain that is just screaming, for one thing, connection, vulnerability, the ability to sit down and tell my kids I love you and I want to spend some time with you. The ability to not just communicate and bark orders with my wife, but I want to be with my wife.

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It's this idea of being over versus being with. And so if you want to solve this problem and I hear it in your heart, man, and I wish every single man in America would hear this.

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I would tell you to sit down with your wife and look her in the eye and say we had a plan to pay this off in 18 months. I value spending time with you. I want to connect with you and to hear you, I want to be with my kids. Can we move this plan to 24 months and that's going to allow me to have Saturdays with my children. That's going to allow me to have Thursday nights with you. And we're not going to spend money on it.

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We're going to go for a walk together. We're going to have dinner together and have lunch together.

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But I want you to start building in connection, not communication. I want you to build in worth, not achievement. I want you to not think of yourself as a deficient machine, but as a person of value and worth being loved. And that's it. And if you're like most men, including myself, dude, I can't do that by myself, I had to go spend some time with a mentor and spend some time with the pastor. It's been so I'm the counselor, all three of them.

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I still meet with the man almost every Friday morning of my life who is a is a mentor in my life that helps talk connection and helps talk truth into my life because I so easily dump back into Anthony. My worth is based on what I can accomplish and what I can solve. And then I start trying to solve my kids and I start trying to fix my wife and man. My wife's not a machine to be fixed. My children are not puzzles to be solved.

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They are people of value and worth to be with.

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I haven't had to say on it. How does that ring true as a single guy looking to save money to grow his net worth, to find a partner to spend the rest of your life with? How does that ring true in your heart?

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You know, I think. I'm trying to think because you said something that kind of struck a chord with me.

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And with me being single and listening to your expertise where I'm not an expert at, I'm still growing and maturing in this area of life, just to be honest, it's I think for me, I wouldn't stop the plan.

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I would ask my wife if this is what we agreed upon. I want to give you more time, but how can we get creative over what we already agree with what we were going to do? How can we do this together?

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Love it. You know, so it was like not a go from 18 months to 24 months. Right. OK, we agreed 18 months. We want to be here. How can we enjoy this process together? Like, am I wrong for thinking, like, as a man? Yes. And I'm not even scared to lose control, but as a man, I want to finish what I what I set out to do and what I would say is yes.

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And and so for somebody like this young man who's had the courage to be vulnerable and to say, man, I'm doing all the right things and the machine still it's breaking down on me. Yeah.

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What I want to do is hit his feet at a concrete. I want to say what you've become is as a slave to a plan, you have become so focused on control what you can control, that you are missing out on being connected and with.

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And so you're right. And if you can sit down with your wife and say, I want to keep this 18 month plan, but I want to be a better partner with you, how can we do this? So we're going to wake up every day and say, hey, what's your picture of today? Look like we're going to get to the end of every week and say, what's our budget? How do we do this week? How's your heart?

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Here's a good thing guys can do with their significant other. They can look him in the eye and say, how is your day? And then they say, it was hard, man, my boss was a jerk or the kids were ugly. And instead of going, Well, did you see this? Did you see this? They can say, how did you feel? No, they can say, I love you. Thank you for sharing that.

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And let it be, you know why? Because my guess is his wife is brilliant, she grew children inside of her. She is accomplished. Did you just say your wife grew children inside of her? Men look at the women in their lives and think, you know what?

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She really needs my advice. That's true.

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And often what they need is our presence, our connection, because women are brilliant. They're brilliant. They are. And what they don't often need is another. Well, you know, you should have said to this guy at work, you should have told him that.

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No, they need to say, that sucks, man. And I'm with you.

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And you know what? As a single brother, America, that is something that I know I have to work on because it's like when I ask a question, I don't want her to speak to me in a novel. Give me the sentence answer.

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And what she wants you to do is know that you are by my side. You are with me. Trust me. I get it. I'm with you. That's why I'm listening to you today. You listen to me about money right now. You're going to help me get married and stay married. Yeah. This is why I love doing the Dave Ramsey Show, especially with this guy, because I love some. Seriously, you guys give us a call.

[00:29:34]

Jubilate 855 225000, this is Dave Ramsey. Eric. Going out to Birmingham, Alabama, we have a conversation here with Jackson Jackson. Good afternoon. How can doubt the DNA? Help me.

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Yes, my name is Jackson. I'm 16 and I'm considering selling my truck of a 20 19 Chevy Colorado that is worth about 23, 24 grand. And I was 65, 100 on it. So I'm considering selling it. Paying off the loan and using what? Let's buy a different truck. My dad, however, says I should stick with it because this truck will be able to last me through college. And he worries the truck I would be able to buy won't last the Jackson.

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I know you're about to say he's a young man, so I'm just trying. OK, let me relax. All right, Jackson so help me understand, how are you, 16 years old and you have a truck. So I'm guessing this truck is in your dad's name.

[00:31:02]

Yes, it is, and my dad's right. OK, so the checks in your dad's name and you all owe 6500 dollars on the truck right now, right. And U.S. is worth 24000 dollars. Somewhere around that, my dad gave me about 18 to put on it, but he convinced me to be able to get the nozzle to go above 18 and buy a better truck. And then he would help me get along with him and I would pay pay it back.

[00:31:33]

So you pay him back to your dad. So you owe the money to.

[00:31:37]

Well, it's an actual loan through a bank, but it's in his name, but it's drifting out of my account. OK, so so Anthony, correct me if I'm wrong.

[00:31:49]

This this sounds like a dollars and cents question wrapped up in a real messy. You're 16 year old kid living in your dad's house question. Mm hmm.

[00:31:59]

And the easy thing, if you were 25 and calling us, we would tell you, sell the truck, man, you're going to have 60. And that's an easy, no brainer. The challenge you're going to have is being a 16 year old kid in your dad's house and dad's paying this. I mean, there's one that's got his name on this loan. You're helping pay for it. And things are a little more complex than that. So if you win and just sold this truck this afternoon, what would he say to you?

[00:32:23]

Would he be angry with you? He can't sell.

[00:32:26]

It is in his dad's name. Well well, I've already talked with him and I think he's OK with it. He sees where I'm coming from and I think he's OK with it. He just like I said, he said, you know, if you'll keep this one, it'll last you through. Like he says, it'll Westminster Wall School. That's what I hope to do, go to college and law school. Cool. So here's my thing for you, Jackson.

[00:32:50]

You have two options. How much money do you have in a savings account saved right now? Not a lot. Six, seven hundred dollars 2700. OK, cool, right now, if the car's worth 24000 dollars, that means you have about 17000 17500 dollars in equity in the car. If you are my son of yours. If you were my son, we would have never purchased a car. We would have never took out the loan. But right now, if you are my son in a situation like son, I get you.

[00:33:21]

I'm taking it seventeen thousand five hundred dollars an equity. I'm a go buy me a ten thousand dollar max truck. I'm to put that 7500 dollars in a savings account and I'm a cash for my college. I may even buy like a 7500 dollar truck. I may even just say normal. Go buy 6000 dollar Honda. I get it. Yeah, I see you in Birmingham. Trucks are the thing out there, especially atrocious things. So I understand it.

[00:33:46]

Or or you can have honest conversation with your dad and say, look, I don't want any debt. It'll be need to pay off the car, but I don't want any debt attached to me going to college. But being sixteen, I like the fact you having a ten thousand dollar truck, both paid for 7500 hours sitting or 6000 thousand dollars sitting on your savings account to go towards college. That's my opinion. But I would I would love to have a conversation with your father, tell them, you know, follow me on Instagram, follow me on YouTube so we can have a conversation because I have a problem with parents.

[00:34:25]

Not not teaching their kids everything and giving them all the options, why do we only push, get into debt, take out student loans, get a car loan, get a credit card so you can establish a credit score? Like I really wish someone would have taught me when I was in high school. Hey, here's another option, you can go to debt free option and teach me everything on that side. You know, we have so many classes, which I won't name on air, that teach you how to how to protect yourself if you decide to go down one certain road.

[00:35:02]

But when it comes to money, we don't teach our young people how to protect themselves when they go down a financial road. Right. We say, hey, listen, go hurt yourself. Go rack up all this debt, go do all this stuff and then, boom. Now you're wondering why 80 percent of the people in America are living paycheck to paycheck. Frustrates. They had got it.

[00:35:19]

Well, and I think it starts I think it starts with a place of love. I can imagine I'm a dad. I want my kid to have the best. I want them to be safe. I have all these imaginary challenges he's going to have in the man. Then I've got 18000 dollars I'm going to put on the table for him, and then I'm going to teach him what I think is the right thing, which I'm going to teach him about credit.

[00:35:40]

I'm going to teach them about paying your debts, all these things that we have attached to quote unquote, normal way of living. Yeah. And I think I'm doing him a favor. Yeah, I think I'm doing him a favor. Right. But I'm not right. And so I want to come at parents and say, I know you love your kids. Right.

[00:35:54]

I know you've saved up money and you want to help him out, help him out in a totally radical new way, which is to be beholden to nobody ever.

[00:36:04]

You know, it's so funny you said that. When I was on vacation for my birthday, I went out and played golf with my dad and he says something to me that just really struck a chord with me that really helped me understand why my father didn't teach me the things that I wish I knew today about money. And he said, Son, I grew up with 18 siblings. He's No. 16 out of 18 siblings. You know, my grandmother and all of my aunts and uncles live with the man back to back in those days and they pick cotton.

[00:36:38]

And so back then, having money meant that you had at least two or three hundred dollars a year in your name. It wasn't you had a big fat savings. It wasn't that you were investing into your future. No, it just means you had a roof over your head and you had a decent transportation and decent transportation to them was a bus ticket.

[00:37:00]

And then you were eating. And so when I when I heard my dad, my dad said something to me when I was on a golf course, I mean, it was it was a whole number three as a par three. He was about to swing and he said he looked at me.

[00:37:11]

So I said. Today, I'm wealthy, I was like, you're what know unwealthy, because if my if my mother was alive today, that what I have right now is a whole lot of money to my mom.

[00:37:27]

He was like, so I couldn't teach you what you have today because I was never exposed to what you have today.

[00:37:35]

He said, I taught you what I knew because I loved you. And so when you said that, that sparked something into me that you're right, parents are doing it out of love. And which is why I'm hoping that every parent here us today, we're giving you the right information, the wisdom and the knowledge that you can pass down this information to the kids who you love.

[00:37:54]

That's right. That's right. And most of us. Are parenting the best way we know how with the tools we have in our bag and we were parented that way, our parents loved us and they had most of us, not everybody, but most of us.

[00:38:09]

And they tried to parent us with the best tools they had in their back. And it's just trying to give them some more tools and say, hey, there is another way. Yeah, there's another way.

[00:38:17]

I'm curious that you have some kids. I don't. What is one thing you would tell me in America when it comes to your kids that you wish you knew him before having kids?

[00:38:32]

I wish that I had known that the the way to make a kid feel anchored in them is to show them, not tell them. I thought that the key to being a good parent is having all the right answers and the key to being a good parent was telling them all the right things.

[00:38:52]

And I know the beautiful thing about going back to college is an old person was I had to go be an intern again and I worked for a psychologist who was way younger than me.

[00:39:00]

And he we worked with traumatized, abused children and for a short summer and he told me something stuck with me forever, which was John, kids don't listen to you.

[00:39:12]

They watch you. Yeah. If you want your son to treat women right, treat your wife right. If you want your daughter to be respectful to the people in your home, you be respectful to people in your home.

[00:39:21]

And that changed everything for me. Wow. Wow. They watch you. They watch it to you. They watch you.

[00:39:27]

I want to thank our producer, James Shorthouse and our associate producer, Kelly Daniel. Remember, the caliber of our future will be determined by the decisions we make today. America has been fun. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. On your smart speaker, you can add our skill by saying, Alexa, open the Ramsey network skill. From there, you can listen to all our shows. Ask Dave money questions like How do I invest my money or what is the debt?

[00:40:02]

Snowball money isn't the only thing we talk about around here. Get life changing advice on your career from my good friend and career expert Ken Coleman. Oh, my Ken Coleman show. According to a recent Gallup poll, nearly 70 percent of Americans are disengaged at work. If you dread going into work every Monday morning and you're just trying to make it to the weekend, the Ken Coleman show is for you. Everyone has a sweet spot. Your sweet spot is at the intersection of your greatest talent and greatest passion.

[00:40:32]

We will help you discover what it is you were born to do, and then we'll help you create a plan to make your dream job a reality. You matter and you have what it takes. Join the conversation on the Ken Coleman show. Hear more from the Ramsey network, including the Ken Coleman Show. Wherever you listen to podcast.

[00:40:52]

Hey, it's James, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.