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[00:00:23]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the car rental studios at the Dave Ramsey Show, where Nat is dumb, Cash is king of home, Morgan has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. My co-host today here on the air, Dr. John Villone, remerging personality. As we talk about your life and your money, it is a free call. Some say the advice is worth what you pay for it.

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The phone numbers, triple eight eight two five five two two five. That's triple eight eight two five five two to five.

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Nicole starts us off this hour in Spokane, Washington. Hi, Nicole. How are you? I'm good, thank you.

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My husband and I have a question about whether or not it is wise to consider him making his side work, his full time work, or if, like some of our family think, that might be risky to leave his secure government job to do that.

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Job security is an illusion. OK, right.

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So what's your making policy making on his side gig on a good year when he works a lot, it's about fifteen thousand a year.

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And what does he make? It is good. Secure government job just over take home pays about fifty thousand a year. OK, what is the side gig.

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Remodel, repair, construction general contractor, so he's not doing much of it. Well, he does he romaji made 15000, he should have made 50000. Well, he does time and materials, and that's part of it is it's this balance between not having enough time to take on the big jobs and whether or not it's now and now we can take on a bunch of little jobs.

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He hadn't taken on enough of those yet. So here's the thing. A buddy of mine does renovations made 300 grand last year. He has two employees. OK, this is your husband's future. Right. That's what I want him to do. I want to make three hundred thousand and so he can look at your relatives and go in anything.

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I got your security right here, you know? Right. So because that's what he needs to do. OK, but now we've got to get there wisely, jumping from 50 to 15 on a hope and a prayer. And I could do the big jobs won't work. OK, yeah. So how do we do that?

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We've got to get the boat closer to the dock before we jump. You're going to miss the boat and land in the water.

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So we're going to work this year like maniacs doing a bazillion little small jobs, all of them a ton of materials, gross profit or profit margin. I don't care. Get better at estimating and deal with it, but get your dadgum net profit up to forty five thousand dollars and then quit the government job and the next year make 90.

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Well, that sounds like a great plan. It's not a great plan because this is going to be hell. He's going to work 80 and 90 hour weeks for a year. She got two full time jobs. Yes, but you got to prove it to yourself and to your wife. Or if it's the other way around to your husband that this is real because you can't go, I you cannot bet on a wing and a prayer that I think I can feed my family from 50 to 15.

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That's too big a jump. You got to get the boat closer to you. See what I'm saying? Yeah, and when you get ready to quit and you're tired and worn out and you made 45000 dollars, you know, you can make 90, but right now you think you might make 90.

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Right. There's a difference. That's how I would do it if I were in your shoes and then I would quit the secure government job and be in the secure construction business, because I've got to tell you, man, renovations and repairs, if you show up on time, you do good work. You keep your word and you keep your price intact. You will have more work because nobody does that in the business. You have no competition. You have more work than you'll know what to do.

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You'll be absolutely swamped. That's what I put in my body because everybody, you know, they want to leave at two thirty on Friday and go sit on their butt and drink beer instead of getting their dadgum work done.

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And the job's half finished and the homeowners crying and homeowners, husband or wife's bitching at them because the thing ain't done.

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If you're not that guy, you can get rich in the construction business.

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I just now stepped out during the break, called my wife and said, is everything squared up at the house? Somebody's supposed to take care of it. And she said, no, I'm going to do laundry at a friend's house because they had a flat tire and they're going to have to maybe come tomorrow or the next. It's just the nature of that. It's the middle of the freakin day.

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Just show up, get over there and you fix this stuff. Fix it, man. Oh, my God. It's just why is this hard?

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I don't know, man. And then, you know, the women, they go broke to go. Well, the economy got me. It was covid knows you're lazy covid but is what it was. Oh my God. That drives me bananas.

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Can you imagine if I called in, said, hey Dave on my radio show, I got a flat tire, I'm squared up a holler back. No, I can't you know, you could imagine that. And then you'd say just yeah your tires are going to be flat for a while. Still come to Uber. This teacher, put your butt over, call somebody, fix your time out. We have stuff to do. God Almighty.

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OK, now I guess. Yeah, but I'm telling you, the construction I grew up in the real estate and construction business and and I'm not mad at construction people. They're not all that way.

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But I'm just telling you, just tell the truth and show up. You can't make so much money because all you got to do is my son. We were doing a renovation on our house. Daniel was fourteen years old. We're driving along. I know exactly where I work because I kind of panicked. We pulled up at a stop sign because I've been dealing. Person working on our house and I put up a stop sign, Daniel says that I know what I'll do when I grow up and I'm going, oh, well, this is a revelation.

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Are you going to. Because I'm going in the construction business.

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What if he goes? Well, it's easy. So we made it easy. He goes, oh, yeah. Do is do what you said you were going to do today and you won't have any competition and you're 14 and you get this.

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You know what? That's kind of the secret to all of life. Yeah. If you just show up and be a good person and do what you say you're going to do. Yeah. If you work hard and tell the truth, you beat 80 percent of the people because 80 people, 80 percent of people cannot do those two things. And then if you do good work on top working hard.

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Oh, that's the other 20 man, you're going to charge anything, you know, what's the estimate? OK, do it because I can, you know. Yeah, you charged me what I got done. Yeah.

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I didn't have a flat tire nuchal flat tire. Just tell him to show up and do good work.

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He's going to be fine, but you got to prove yourself you can. Fifteen thousand is too big a jump. OK, so get your income up and then go do it. And your relatives don't understand. My grandmother was the sweetest. I love my grandmother more than anything in the world. Her husband, my grandpa lost a business in the Great Depression, worked 38 years for Alcoa aluminum one job because it was secure. And I'll never forget we were had this business running and I had just sold financial page to the publisher for zeros on the end of the decimal.

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Right. And I sat down and she said, Honey, I hope all this stuff works out. When are you going get a real job?

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That's when are you going to get a real job? It just it gets to her. I didn't have a real job. I was I was working for myself, which means I couldn't have got a job, apparently. Right. So I was unemployable.

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I love Griezmann. Probably some truth to that. Me better than I like to admit. They less sweet. My precious granny loved her more than anything. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

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During these crazy times, the best advice I can give you is control the controllable. Let's start looking at major expenses like your monthly rent or your house payment.

[00:09:04]

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When it comes to staying focused on your goals, 20, 20 has thrown some real curveballs, but this year has shown what it's really important to you. You can take the losses, turn them into learnings, you can get back in the game, you can adjust, but you can only adjust if you had something to adjust to. And that's the original goals that you wrote down. Christy Write, our number one bestselling author just launched her brand new 2021.

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Won't we be glad when that starts 2021 goal planner.

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It includes Christie's goal worksheet that you can start on today. The planner itself has the monthly, weekly and daily calendar sections and new monthly teachings and action plans and powerful journaling and prayer prompts. Why am I telling you about this now?

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Well, because the planner will sell out really quickly. It is for 2021. It's on sale now at Dave Ramsey Dotcom.

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So you get your money, your work, your personal life. The brand New Christy, right. 2021 goal planner, so available on our online store right now at Dave Ramsey Dotcom.

[00:10:59]

Our Question of the Day, John, comes from Blind's Dotcom. Find out for yourself why Blind's Dotcom is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you save even more. Always use the magic word, the promo code.

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Ramsey question is. The question is, I just started reading this, Dave, and it's blowing my mind, this is an excellent one. Blind's Dotcom's going to get their money's worth on this one. Today's question comes from Tiffany in north Kentucky. She visits Dave Ramsey Dockum to ask. My fiancee's mother controls his finances. He was married for 10 years and his wife spent a lot of his money in. His mother stepped in after the divorce and pays his bills.

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He's thirty seven.

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Oh, crap. We write so and we are getting married in three months. And I've been trying to take over finances, but his mother will not allow it and he won't stand up to his mom. The only thing we argue about is the finances. I said we should open up a checking account, but he doesn't want to close his current checking account that he shares with his mommy. He wants me to come to his bank, which I don't want to as I don't want his mother and my finances is well.

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Is there a way to compromise on this? Yes.

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He has to divorce his mother before he can marry you. It's polygamy.

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Otherwise, I don't want to hurt Tiffany's feelings. But too late. Run, run. Chariots of Fire. I'm trying to think. Right, dude, run, run. There's Tiffany.

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If this was your daughter asking you this question, you would tell her, do not marry a mama's boy, a 37 year old mama's boy. This is going to be a long life.

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His mother is a trip and he invites her in his suitcase and he's God Almighty. Bye, Felicia.

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Tiffany, Ashkali going away. I don't even know what to say to this. I know the say to this Bible. Oh, no, that's a throwback, dude.

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I just this throwback Thursday. No, this is I want to hug Tiffany North Kentucky.

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This is all I mean, it's so easy to poke fun at just so sad and ridiculous. But the truth is that, Tiffany, you've gone you spent way too much time and invested too much already trying to get a guy to be a grown man that's not apparently willing to.

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Yeah. And and the deal is his mom probably loves him and saw that he wrecked the plane the last time and she didn't want him to take off again. And for good or for worse, it's not helpful, but it is what it is.

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And so you happen to be female in the last one was to. Yeah. And this and that's bothering his mother.

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Yeah. Somebody got between her and her baby once and it won't happen again. But you have a line here that says, I don't want his mom and my finances do clear as day is what you're signing up for. So if you go through this in three months, then you are inviting mom into your life, your fault.

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Yeah. If you go through with this. Yeah. So he's not your fiancee anymore. And when he moves out of his mother's house and takes control of his own life and. Becomes a man again, if this was a woman, I would say exactly the same thing an adult becomes an adult.

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There we go.

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OK, I mean, if if this was the dad controlling the daughter, 37 year old daughter's finances, it's exact same thing. Exactly. So when you this is it's just toxic and weird, right?

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In moms. Dads don't do that. Let your 30 year olds fly a baby bird. No, don't let them fly them out. Yes. 37 failure to launch.

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If you look around your home and your child doesn't have special needs, that's a whole different thing. And you have the account number to your 37 year old kid.

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You need to go to church, you know something, and go find a therapist, call your friend and say, hey, buddy, do you have the checking account number to your 37 year old?

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Can you imagine what Winston Cruise would say if I asked to have the account number access to their checking accounts for Rachel and Winston?

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Can you pass you can you see Winston's face? The look around? I can see the look. Yes.

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The storm cloud that would come across his eyes.

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He would just answer you over his shoulder as he gathered his children into the car. And he, too, would say, bye, Felicia, I'm Dave. Yeah, I just I. I just I don't understand it. And again, this is heartbreaking, Tiffany. And I know you've driven this thing right to the edge of the cliff before you.

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You're about to hit the gas and stop, you know, bridge out.

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Bridge out, break out, man.

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Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.

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Sometimes these blinds dotcom questions, man, these are fantastic.

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Yeah, well they are. And, you know, I think you're the best part of this whole, that whole discussion is what you said and that's the moms and dads don't do this job.

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Make your kids grow up. You are not helping. No. You're not helping in part.

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OK, I understand he screwed up in his former divorce and I understand she stepped in to help him get.

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But she shouldn't have even at that point been on the account. She should have just guided him and said, I know you're wounded right now.

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I'll walk with you and I'll coach you, just like I would do for you. That's right, my friend. Yeah, but I don't need to be on your account. Right.

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In order to help you recover from your misspending wife that you got divorced from, I can walk beside you as your friend and do that as two adults instead of me taking over your finances as if you are completely inept.

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In the moment, my son comes to me and says, hey, I have found the next person and we're getting engaged.

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You start that transfer. You should have. That should have never been in the first place. You start immediately, your hands are off. Yeah. But instead. No, she doesn't. He doesn't.

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He know. Oh my mom couldn't wait to transfer responsibility. I was like, this is your friend. Here's the biscuit recipe. Here's his birth certificate, Social Security card. Get out of here. It was.

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Hey, I'm sorry, Sheila. This is your problem. Now this one's on you. Good luck with this one.

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I'll be cheering for you to see a Christmas to you. Christmas. Yeah.

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And guys. If you're not going to have a backbone, don't get married, don't get married, don't bring somebody else into your dysfunction. Yeah. This is there's just so much here, so many people here that need to be addressed, but wow.

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And this is classic to the other thing is classic, and you said it earlier, is the. It starts out with love and good intentions, always me and most of the time there was not this mom did not set out to harm this little boy.

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No, but she did. I have to ask, what role did this type of of intrusive parents play in his first marriage?

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Oh, right. What type of intrusive parent has set up a 40 year old kid that doesn't know how to pay his bills?

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I'm almost a test pilot for a balloon factory. Huh?

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I mean, me and mom, I am not going to check the the YouTube clips after this one.

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Oh, well, we might as well, because they generally agree with us. That's why they hang out there would be funny, though. Oh, my God. Tiffany, run, baby, run. So Tiffany is supposed to say bye bye, Felicia. Is that how this works? Close to hit the gas and turn all the way the other way? Oh, Tiffany, hit the U-turn spin out. That's right. Hit the gas. OK, wave in your rearview mirror.

[00:19:07]

See you, Bubba. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Folks, I love telling you about great products, and today I'm talking about American made grippe six Beltz Listen, traditional Beltz never fit, right? And they're uncomfortable, but grippe six belts and straps are interchangeable, which I personally love. And they have a clean, sleek look with no holes, no flap and no Borke and they hold tight all day. In fact, they're so comfortable you can't even remember you're wearing it.

[00:19:51]

And talk about affordability. Wow. Greb six belts come with a lifetime guarantee and that means you can replace them for free to get this month's Dave Ramsey special visit grippe six dotcom.

[00:20:24]

Dr. John Deloney Ramsey personality is my co-host today here on the air. Brenda is with us in Pensacola to do a debt free scream.

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What's up, Brenda?

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Thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm so excited.

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Well, we're honored to have you. How much have you paid off of? 46000 in about 14, 15 months.

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Good for you and your range of income during that 14 months. I started off with forty eight thousand and ended up at 60 with Take Home. Good for you. What do you do for a living?

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I'm an officer in the Marine Corps. I'm stationed here in Pensacola.

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Cool. Thank you for your service. So you didn't hardly make 46000 during that time. How did you pull this off? Did you sell something? You had some money in savings or what?

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I had about five K in savings that went towards like the big chunk at the beginning and then just kind of did a couple goals along the way that made it go by a lot faster. So a couple of goals. What do you mean? Understand?

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I'm like in a couple of days I said, you can't make forty eight thousand and pay off forty six thousand or even forty one. Yeah, that's true. So what ended up happening was what I was going to talk about later, but I have a house and I was able to split the mortgage with two two roommates. So I ended up being able to, like, not have to pay a lot for housing. Gotcha.

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OK, so your income ends up being more than the forty eight or the sixty because you got the roommate income. Now my math.

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OK, cool. What kind of debt was 46000? About three was on my car that I had eight on a credit card, 14 and student loans and twenty two in personal loans. OK. Wow, cool. So what happened 14 months ago that let you on fire to do all this?

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So for the past couple of years, actually, I've been trying to figure out a way to get out of that, but I didn't really figure it out until I thought it would be smart. And I did. And within a week, my cousin Rihanna sent me a link to your podcast. And the very, very first call I heard was this woman asking if she should back out of a deal that she had made to buy a house, but she would lose that check, you know, the promised check with it.

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And you had told her, like, you know, you're, like, morally obligated to keep your promise. But if you back out, you're going to lose that money. And I just stared at the podcast and I was like, oh, my gosh, this is me. What have I done that, like, I should not have bought a house. So anyways, I just I completely was so obsessed with listening to a podcast and my roommates are so sick of it.

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And yeah. So I just I went all in after I like moved into my house and put up a plan up on my fridge and I was like, OK, I'm going to get out of that. And I missed my goal by like a couple of months, but I knew that right out of it did a wonderful job.

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How's it feel now that you're free? Was it worth it? It's so weird, it's definitely worth it, but, yeah, it is really weird, like being able to keep an entire paycheck that I got and, you know, being able to invest now, too, is really awesome. So, yeah, very cool. What do you tell people to getting ready? What do you tell people?

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The key to getting out of debt is the key. I would say it's just like have a plan and submit to your book The Total Money Makeover. There's really like if you have a bad attitude towards following certain guidelines that you put out, like your you know, you're going to still stay in the mess that you created. So just having, like, a positive mental attitude, like, you know, stopping things right now is just temporary. And just staying on track is super, super important like that.

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And definitely having an accountability partner is really, really important as well.

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Yeah. Cool way to go. Congratulations. Very, very, very well done. What was the hardest part of this whole thing for you?

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I guess the hardest part was for me, I was so excited that I was seeing so much progress that I really wanted to share my journey, especially with my family, because I was a teenager during the 2007 2008 like housing market crash. So and I had a lot of little siblings in the house. So I really just like the hardest part for me was like just trying to, like, egg on my family. Like, you got to do this, you got to do this, you got to do this and, you know, just letting them make their own decisions and, you know, me just being like, come on, like, you know, egging them on and being excited.

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But I don't know. I just really wanted to be an inspiration to my family and my friends. And just like not being able to be, you know, make them do it is probably been like the hardest part for me. Oh, okay. Yeah. That that I want to be like, too overbearing, you know.

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But yeah, it's hard to when people you care about don't necessarily share your enthusiasm for something like this. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. For sure. Well, congratulations, Brenda.

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It's incredible. Brenda. Awesome. Thank you. You did it. You did it. You did it.

[00:25:47]

We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you. You're a hero. And the book is Every Day Millionaires.

[00:25:52]

That is the next chapter in your story. You are well on your way.

[00:25:56]

You can accomplish this. You can do anything with money. Very, very well done.

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Brenda in Pensacola, forty six thousand dollars paid off in 14 months, making forty eight to sixty. Count it down.

[00:26:08]

Let's a debt free scream three when I three. This is how it's done. I love it, I love it, I love it.

[00:26:29]

Josh from Facebook says, I'm 31 years old. I'm looking forward to I'm looking to purchase term life insurance. I understand you recommend getting 10 to 12 times my income and coverage, but it makes sense to get two policies of 15 to 20 year term and a 25 to 30 year term. You can Josh, I mean, talk with Zander Insurance and get the prices, you know. Thirty one years old. It doesn't cost that much. It's not that big a deal.

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Here's the reality.

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Most people during the 15 years do not become uninsurable. And the only reason to take out a 30 rather than a 15. Is if you think you're going to need insurance for 30 years and you are afraid you're going to lose your health and not be able to get more insurance. My personal journey was this. I bought my first term insurance policy in my 20s. Long before it expired, I bought more policies to add to it because my income had gone up.

[00:27:33]

By the time 15 years had elapsed, term life insurance had gotten cheaper, so much cheaper that the 15 year old older Dave bought the same amount of insurance for less money than the kid did back in his 20s, even though I was older because the prices had come down that much and I hadn't lost my health.

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And so the reality is you're generally going to add policies and take policies away as you go along through the scope of your life for different reasons, basically.

[00:28:09]

As your children age out, meaning they get closer to leaving home, they are less of a liability.

[00:28:17]

In other words, it doesn't take as much to take care of a 17 year old as it does a 17 month old if he were to pass away.

[00:28:23]

And as you are moving along that same timeline, you're getting out of that becoming debt free house and everything, because we tell you never to take out more than a 15 year mortgage, which runs parallel to this.

[00:28:35]

And on top of that, during that period of time, you're starting to do your baby step for investing 15 percent of your income into retirement. Your income's going up. So that 15 percent is going up. And so you look up.

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If you buy a policy when you're 30, you look up when you're 45 and the kids are grown and gone are they're almost gone.

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The house is paid off and you got seven or eight thousand dollars in mutual funds.

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You may not need anymore insurance. Or if you did, if you haven't lost your health, you could buy another 10 year policy or something to patch you through if you wanted to. But a 15, if you got a young family, a 20 year level, I don't recommend the 30s for that reason.

[00:29:14]

But if you want to spend the extra money because you're super concerned about becoming uninsurable at some point during the journey, then you can buy the 30 year.

[00:29:23]

But I don't. I go to Sander Insurance.

[00:29:25]

I get a 15 year, I get a 10 year. My case. I'm 60. I got a five year, you know, I mean, it's not if I need some if I need to cover something that I'm doing for some reason or another. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Our scripture the day Philippians two for let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also the interests of others, Tom Peter said management is about arranging and telling.

[00:30:25]

Leadership is about nurturing and enhancing.

[00:30:30]

That's good. That is good. Yeah. We always say leaders, poor bosses push. Hmm, Zack is with us. Zack is in Fargo, North Dakota. Hey, Zack. Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. How can Dr. John and I help?

[00:30:44]

Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Looking. Looking for advice on what? I should keep my own company or take a corporate job. Currently making 40000 no benefits and no corporate job offer be seventy five thousand with benefits. That's kind of the basics of it, OK, or you would take the corporate job unless you think you can grow your company to make more. Yeah, I guess the business side of me says they want to try to keep working on growing the company that their father and husband said to me says, take a corporate job.

[00:31:26]

I'm going to be able to spend more time with my kids when they're young right now. And that's important to them. And and also to be able to give more time to my wife is also important and kind of caught between two sides of my personality, I guess. Well, it all depends on the timeline.

[00:31:47]

If it's going to take you 15 years of 80 hour weeks to move from 38 to 80 at your business, you should take the corporate job. You should do that financially. You should do that for your mental health. It's the smart thing to do all those kinds of things. If you could spend two years and grow your business to 100000 dollar income instead of taking the corporate job and then have the benefit of owning your own place and making your own decisions about when you work and when you don't.

[00:32:12]

Then you would stay where you are and build your company, so I don't know how fast you can build your company, how long you been at this? I've been at it since 2013, so seven years to 38000. Well, I took my first income in 2016. Why is it growing so slowly? I just I think I struggle with cutting the amount of marketing time we need to put into it, I realized that I need to put my money in front of a prospect about 20 to 30 times in order to actually get that prospect to bite.

[00:32:48]

But once they bite, I almost always keep them as a client initially anywhere from 20 to 80000 a year from that client. And then after that, it's about two to ten thousand a year. What do you do with a control panel manufacturing on the automation and the like conveyor systems?

[00:33:15]

You've got an engineering background maybe. Yeah. Electrical engineering. Yeah.

[00:33:20]

So I hear something in your voice, man, that. The way you described this corporate job versus the two responsibilities sounds like you've made your mind up or you call in just for a high five.

[00:33:32]

Are you really perplexed and I still feel like I'm perplexed. I want to do my family saying take the job, I want to take the job and move you, you're almost doubling your salary. And I am not the type of person that has ever taken anything for money other than the fact that the family involved. So it's kind of just trying to make my own decision, but try to seek out as many opinions as they can. And I've been in contact with the guy that would be my boss for like two months now.

[00:34:10]

And the reason they haven't, there's actually not a position now because the corporate level has actually pulled a position for some reason. But he said they will be put in a position back up. And it they do know I will be kind of at the top of the list in the running. So if you get the job, I would take it.

[00:34:30]

Sure. Yeah. In your case, to answer your question and by the way, nothing is forever. And so in five years, you might start your business back up again or in 10 years. You know, there's nothing to say that it has to go away forever. You've learned some things in the last since you opened this business up until now that those learnings aren't gone. There's no they're not lost.

[00:34:54]

And but my encouragement would be when you open it back up, that you do what it takes to grow it and that you pay the price, the marketing price, and it's against your nature to get in front of all those customers you like working on the widgets. You don't like dealing with the people. I can tell that from talking to you, there's nothing evil about that. I like working with the people I don't like. We're in the widgets, so I got to find somebody, help me with the widgets.

[00:35:16]

You might find somebody, help you with the marketing in order to grow this thing because you need to grow it faster than you have grown it if you're going to run it ever.

[00:35:24]

But I would take this job and say five years, ten years, and then we'll revisit and decide what I'm going to do. Nothing says you have to stay there for 40 years.

[00:35:33]

It's not a law and you're not signing a 40 year contract with them and they're certainly not signing one with you. They'll fire you when they get ready to do so. I think you're right, John.

[00:35:42]

I think he's decided to take it. It sounded that way. And he sounds relieved.

[00:35:46]

That's what it sounded like, right? It's going to double my income. Give me time to start my family. You offered a lot of things. It seemed to suit your heart a little bit.

[00:35:53]

Struggle in the dog fight, in the scratching and clawing to run the business has gotten old. Yeah.

[00:35:58]

And for thirty eight grand, I think it would get old. Absolutely. And there's no hard feelings if you realize, you know what, I love this thing. I've got this great skill. But running a business takes other skills that I don't want to do. I don't want to do it and that's ok. You didn't fail. You learn something about yourself and then you go take this job that happens to be double your income. Yeah, with a loss.

[00:36:17]

Who's going to stick with you for a couple of months while you're wishing to washing around?

[00:36:20]

I mean, it could be a good thing you learn about yourself. And like Dave says, you learn you circle back in four or five years. Maybe you take an online marketing class for free, one of these free universities and you figure it out, something you like or you don't. And it's easy. Good for you. Good for you.

[00:36:35]

Torie's in Pensacola. Hatori, your question for Dr. Economy. Hi, Dave, thanks for taking my call. I guess it's just kind of more of a simple question. So basically, long story short, when I was growing up, my mother wanted to make sure that I knew the budget and her method of teaching me the budget was slapping me back, the head, yelling, screaming, and then when I didn't do it the way she wanted to do, because I had my needs and I mean, I was a high school college student at the time.

[00:37:02]

She played my computer and take it away. And just years later, that's translated to me kind of drawing back and just not wanting to do a budget like I work with my boyfriend.

[00:37:12]

So let me get this straight. Every time you heard the word budget, you got smacked and you don't like budget.

[00:37:16]

Try to blame you know, you have lost dogs, right? Tory, you are absolutely normal. You're a normal human being.

[00:37:26]

I would hate budgets, too, if every time I said budget, I got hit. I don't want to play.

[00:37:31]

Nobody wants to do a budget. That's what I will never touch, why nab every day? Why now gives me the creeps. Reminds me of my toxic mother, my abusive mother. OK, let's reframe this. All right. Forget mom.

[00:37:53]

Well, don't forget her, but forget forget all that stuff and let's just say, OK, why would Tori want to plan out and make her life behave?

[00:38:06]

Because I want to make sure that my goals are set and that my emergency fund is going in that area.

[00:38:12]

So let's call it a spending plan, don't call it a budget. That way you don't have to flinch.

[00:38:19]

And hey, Tori, here's the thing. I don't I don't know, call it every day, every dollar app. Don't even use the word budget because budget budget makes your skin crawl. The word does.

[00:38:30]

A story I want you to do this, and this may be not fair, this may be giving your mom way too much benefit of the doubt, and that tends to be my wiring. Sometimes I want you to just adjust your default setting that your mom was so passionate about you learning these things that she only used the only tool she had in her bag of of of her toolbox, which was a hammer. That's all she had. And so she didn't do it.

[00:38:57]

Well, she hurt you doing it. But the intention was she wanted her baby to know how to work money and how to do a plan. She cared about it.

[00:39:05]

She wanted you to do a plan. But aside from mom, John's family put it down, man. We get in a position to forgive her and move on.

[00:39:11]

But aside from that, just call it a spending plan. Just say I've got to plan out my money because my money will even go to somebody else if I don't plan it out.

[00:39:20]

And if you don't use it smart, your mom's going to continue to affect your decisions for the rest of your life. And those those smacks on the back of the head are going to continue to smack you upside the head with every bad decision you make, even if they just won't be mom smacking you your spot yourself now. Yes. You're not kidding yourself. Now, that puts us out the right Ramsey show in the bucks. We'll be back with you before you know it.

[00:39:39]

In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace. Christ Jesus. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made The Dave Ramsey Show, one of the top four most popular podcast last year to get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey network. Subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to a podcast. Hey, if you've got questions about retirement investing and becoming an everyday millionaire, go bigger and broader with my man Chris Hogan on the Chris Hogan Show.

[00:40:18]

I am excited to be able to talk to you all week in and week out. We're going to focus on your calls and it's going to focus on building wealth investing and how to become an everyday millionaire. Subscribe to the Chris Hogan Show wherever you listen to podcast.

[00:40:32]

Hey, it's James, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you've heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.