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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the car rental studio. This is the Dave Ramsey Show and it's where America hangs out to have the important conversations of life, money, relationships, work that matters deeply to you, getting out of debt, making more money, healing in relationships, mental, emotional health. We're talking life. We're talking about every facet of it. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Delany. And we are what they call around here, Ramsey personalities.


Dr. John Maloney, host the Dr. John Deloney show on the Ramsey network. His website is John Deloney dot com. I host the Ken Coleman Show. Yes, we know how creative those shows go all out. We spent hours and hours and hours and tens of dollars to those names of dollars. And I bet Ken Coleman doc, but we're thrilled to be a part of this wonderful place called Ramsey Solutions. If you're new to the show, you'll see and hear us as we co-host with Dave on just about a weekly basis as we all roll through here.


And we always enjoy it when we get to be together because we're not money personalities. You're focusing on relationships and mental and emotional health, and I'm focusing on purpose in your life and in your work and those things intertwined, intertwined closely until the phones are blowing up.


So you've got a toxic work situation, toxic coworkers. You have no idea what you want to do with your life. You know what you want to do with your life. Not quite sure how to get there. You've got some mental and emotional issues or family members that do well, all of that. That's what we do. Are you and your wife maybe you discovered in 2020 you have different political views and now you can even sit there on the couch really after these political tension calls, man, they're just to take apart and WorkChoices apart and churches apart.


Come on, man. Yeah, let's go figure it out. Triple eight, eight to five five two two five is a number. And here we go. Sean is up in Louisville, Kentucky.


Sean, how can we help you? John, how you guys doing today? Well, we're living the dream. What's what can we do for you?


I got a bit of a dilemma, and it's almost like it's similar to the last caller. I'm in a job that I've been doing for twenty three years and it's become very toxic over the past probably year. And I looked outside and had an offer for another job and it's going to be about a twenty thousand acres. And I'm not sure if I should go forward and take it a little background. My wife and I, we're on baby steps four or five and six.


Great. And we can afford the pay cut, but I'm not sure if I just need to basically suck it up and stay where I'm at and keep the big money that I'm making or take that leap.


How much are you making now? I make about eighty five thousand. And where were where I was offered, it's about 60 to 65000 thousand and that's really everywhere I've looked. That's that's what's going to happen. It's going to be a pay cut.


Is that a temporary situation? In other words, go ahead. Go ahead.


Though. You tell me, is that going to eventually, like a year, year and a half, 18 months? I mean, what is the what is the trajectory look like if you moved over to this new company? Eventually, it will it will go up throughout the years, but I don't believe that will ever reach the potential of where I'm at currently.


Why is that? What is the work? Is it the same kind of work? But in a sense, I'm a truck driver and the truck driver that I do, I actually unload my truck, basically. And this is going to be and also I'm gone two nights a week from home. And so I'm going to be going to a job that's home every day, local and a lot less physical work with it.


And thus the difference in the pay scale. That's the difference. Yes, correct. What do you not like about your current job?


Just a lot of. Stuff like, you know, political stuff like, you know, we can't deliver this time, we can deliver that on, you know, we just just have to really watch our P's and Q's on, you know, a lot of things. And I just really just want to come in and do my job and go home. OK, so let me challenge you for a second.


Based on what you just said, Sean, we're missing something. I'm missing something that says that this thing is super toxic because you've been there for twenty three years and you said in the last year it's become more toxic. And a guy who says to me, well, can I just want to come in and do my job and go home? Feels like if you just do that, you should be OK. If you're not engaging in those conversations that are obnoxious or whatever, I guess what am I missing here?


Because I think there's got to be a key deciding factor on on on how much longer you can put up with this toxicity. Because if we if we say no to this current situation that you've been offered and we kick the can down the road, which I'm fine with, I haven't really decided where I'm at yet. You're going to have to confront leaving this place eventually unless it just all of a sudden gets better. Do you understand where I'm at?


You agree with that or disagree? I do. I agree.


So, you know, can you overcome this? Is this something that you can go I'm going to expect this and I'm going to deflect this? Or is it just something that's always going to be in your face and this is only a matter of time?


That I'm not sure of, just think with covered, everything changed in this past year, obviously, and and things are making it to where actually I'm gone away from home more and more and more. And I think ultimately what I really want to do is have more time with my family.


Now, we're on it now. We got OK, now we've gotten to what's really going on. So here's where I want to challenge you. I don't think that you have to take this current job, but if you guys can absorb the twenty thousand and not make it super tight, there are other ways that you can kind of come in and go, well, is there a little side hustle that I've always wanted to mess around with that now that I'm home more and I've got some more balance in my life that I could do that?


That's one option. The other thing is for you to take this opportunity as a sign that it is time to leave. And I'm going to look for some other things where where I am driving. And I'm a really valuable employee for somebody because of all this experience of driving and unload and stuff. And I'm going to look for some better, more lucrative opportunities that don't have me on the road as a road warrior. I'm not sure you've exhausted all of your options yet.


Would you agree with that or disagree?


I would agree that it's just I've come to the point, I guess, where I think, like like you said, it's time for a change. And I'm just one person that is very scared of change. Well, but here's the deal.


We don't have to make a change, Sean, until we verified. That it's actually a really good move, so no one's saying you've got to jump off a cliff with. You know, that's only romantic in movies and stuff like that, where they make this big, bold change, super scintillating and awesome and all that courage. Yeah, there's no background music. Yeah, this is real life. So, Sean, I'm telling you to go find something else that you get the talent to do and you can enjoy the work and you can make somewhere close to that eighty five thousand, if not a little bit more and not have to be a road warrior.


I don't think that what I'm suggesting is a needle in a haystack. And you don't think it is either. So then you go, well, what am I really afraid of? You're afraid of making a decision that hurts you financially and sets you back. Will brother, you're in baby step four or five and six. No chance are you doing that? That's fear lying to you. You're not going to do something dumb, so don't worry about doing something dumb.


Let's find something that you're going to step into. We go get qualified for it if we have to, and then we get the opportunity they offer to us and we say, peace, I'm out over here and we walk with a beautiful stride, shoulders back, head up into the next thing. None of that is scary. Don't move. More of your calls coming up. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Well, we all have enough on our plates, right?


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The Dave Ramsey Show continues, I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Delany, as we take your calls about life, relationships, mental health, relationship and emotional health working on purpose.


How many of you just sick and tired of working a job?


You don't like it. You're not even that very good at it. You're miserable. Well, life is too short to be miserable. Mondays and live for the weekend. We'll take your calls around. All those things will take your money calls as well. Triple eight eight two five five two two five. Let's go to Pocatello, Idaho, one of my favorite places that I've never been to because I just like saying I can say it all day long.


It's a fanatical playground, you know. Where are you from? Pocatello. Hey, me too. I'd like to say Pocatello. Yeah, that'd be fun to say just once. All right. Let's see how Nick says it. Nick, how can we help?


Hey, I'm doing great. How are you guys? We're having a blast, man. What's going on? Hey, Nick, is there a Pocatello high school in Parkdale? If you can get us a couple of Pocatello high T-shirts and send them our way, I'd be grateful. You know what? This is a great point. What's the mascot of Pocatello High?


I feel like it's changed. It used to be the Indians. Oh, so it just changed. You can't do that anymore. Pocatello is coming around. Look at that. What is it? What's the new one?


I think it's the thunder. I'm actually not from Pocatello. I'm from Utah. Oh, OK. Well. Go for it, man, what's up? Yeah, I'm in a really unique situation, I'm really blessed to have a job that I love. I'm a pilot. I fly a route between Salt Lake and Pocatello every day. OK, my domicile is Pocatello. So now as my company, I live up here, but I live down in Utah.


So I just commute on Monday up here and I can use Saturday at Utah. OK, so the time I'm up and Tokito is the time I'm really supposed to be at home. So I have like eight, seven hours every day that I'm up here, but I just don't. Well to set aside about eight hours, you know, be up here at home. But I was wondering what I could do to work at a retail job that I was working before Christmas and I did that.


But then when the New Year, did you know that job ended? Because it's just seasonal work. And I'm just kind of wondering what I could do. And he's looking for something to do and want to make some extra money. And now I'm a hard worker. I think this is fun.


I think this is really fun. This to me is the blank canvas, Nick, because, you know, I obviously want you to do your dream job, and I think you're doing that, you know, and outside of that, if we can get you in your sweet spot where you're doing something you're good at and something you really enjoy doing, that creates a result that you go, you know, that's that's pretty cool, man. I dig that.


And I just want you doing it in Pocatello. That's all I care. What we know is fantastic, right? Yeah. You just want to work for the gift shop at the local high school. Anything. Pocatello, Idaho. I'm rooting for Nick. So, Nick, let's put this to the test. What's something that you would just you've always wondered about? You'd love to do it. And because we've got this extra time during the day, during the week, and there's no pressure to perform and turn it into this big time career, what's something you've always wondered about?


Recently, I've been looking into coding and I just don't even know where to begin with something like that.


Well, first thing we have to do is got to get qualified to code. So do you know how to code? No. Great. So this is awesome because there might be another answer here, Nick, but let's run this one out. You've always thought about coding. You want to code. But you know what? No idea where to start. We've got to get qualified. OK, and so we got to find out what classes can I take.


And there's there's all kinds of online cheap options. The Ken Coleman Show partners with an organization called Bethel Tech. You need to call Bethel Tech today. As soon as this call is over, say, hey, I just talked to Ken Coleman of the Day Ramsey Show, and he tells you you guys got a program. It's really affordable. They'll let you cash flow it. And in less than nine months, they get you ready to be a full time coding professional.


And you don't even need that. But that's one option. That's just one. There are other many plethora of options out there where you can learn how to code. So that's what you would do with that extra time right now is invest in yourself, become trained to be a somebody who coach and then go, OK, what kind of coding work, what I most like to do, what's available in Pocatello. And so now all of a sudden we just start going that direction.


We go, hey, I'm qualified and I'm here. That's how many hours a week I can do it. And if it's part time, fine. If it's a full time gig that they allow you to do remote, that's perfect for you as well. But that's just one example of how you could step into something you've always wanted to do. And now it becomes a labor of love that also makes you some extra dough. Thoughts on that? Questions.


No, I think it's great. Yeah, like you said, it's a blank canvas, so I think part of it is overwhelming, even though we're wouldn't even, you know, knowing where to start because it's like, wow, there's so many things I could do. And, you know, there are lots of things I've kind of wanted to experiment with. Like coding is one of them, but it's just kind of overwhelming, like where to start.


Well, but again, don't let it be overwhelming. You're making it overwhelming. What? I just broke it down for you. I make coding not so overwhelming. Yes or no. Yes, because what did I do, I simply took the unknown out of the equation. John and I were just talking about this on the on the break when we as human beings don't know something, that fear of the unknown is paralyzing. It's the number one fear.


I think certainly in the space that I'm in, where people go, oh, it's like, wait a second, if I go get qualified while I'm getting qualified, the people that are qualified me are going to tell me all the different types of jobs that I'm just now getting qualified for. Nick ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. They give you a catalogue, if you will, to sift through. Then you actually while you're getting qualified, guess what you're doing.


It's stage three of my seven stages of meaningful work. Stage one is get clear. You're clear coding is an option. It might be another one, two or three. You said stage to get qualified to do that work. Stage three is I'm getting connected while I'm getting qualified, John, I can be in stage two and stay true at the same time. I'm making connections among people who are in coding in Pocatello. I mean, people are companies that are doing it.


I'm walking in going, hey, look, I got a full time job. I'm a big shot pilot. I love coding. I'm looking for some extra work, 25 hours. I'm getting qualified right now. I just want to say hi real quick, Fiorani, somebody a little remote work. I'm your guy. Hey, Nick, here's another thing to keep in your back pocket. And I don't talk about this. What they've ever talked about this on the show we talk a lot about.


I went to a lot of grad school, didn't have a lot of friends. And so I've got two big fancy degrees. I also started a MFAT program in my early twenties and I got in and I dropped it. I started a theology program, took some classes, wasn't my thing, didn't dig it. Human development, family studies. I want to learn how people grew and how families grew together. I just didn't I didn't dig it. One of my things, I took some classes and I and I was it for me.


The temptation here, Nick, is to feel like you have to pick the one or it's over. No, that's right. And here I am. Twenty years later, 15 years later, I love what I'm doing and it's just silly.


I got their credentials and I was dumb enough to stick my nose in a bunch of different thing things and find out which ones I liked, which ones I didn't. So you try to coding class. You don't like it? Yeah, I'm not into coding, man. I thought I was gonna check it out. It's not for me. You still got a paycheck, you're still rockin Pocatello and then you go on to the next thing in the next thing in the next thing.


Right. Is keeping those options open man. Yeah. And the same process. If you got other ideas, run it out. Well, what I need to do to get qualified to do those things, how much is that going to cost me? How long is that going to take? And now you got yourself another plan and that's how that works. And by the way, John and I are dead serious. If you want to run by the old high school there and get us, I'd like a hoodie.


You want the t shirts. Good for me. And I'll send you a check for the cost of the hoodie. I'm a big hoodie fan. Yeah, hook you up, man. The Pocatello could have thunder if I rocked one of those in downtown Franklin. It be the only one. The only one.


I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot. You know, John, we were talking about that. I want to expound on this a little bit. This idea, the fear of the unknown. I talk about it from a practical standpoint. Here's how you get over it. You'll be diving in the zone. But talk about the psychology behind that. Why is it so gripping? I think one of the cores, core principles that everyone navigates and stumble through life is I want to be fully known.


I want you to know me and see me, and I want you to love me. And we hedge the front end of that because we're scared. The second part of that, I'm not going to really tell you what to think about this. I'm going to tell you my true fears and which I'm because I'm nervous. You're gonna love me. So I'm going to go halfway. I'm going to tell you most things. And and can I talk to couples have been married for decades.


They don't really talk to each other because I don't if I call in men, that's a vulnerability level I'm not comfortable with.


And so they just they don't. But the the problem with that is the only way you can truly ever be captivated and loved is by being all right.


And there's that fear. And we have we just it's innate in us that we want to be loved and we're scared. And so we hold back and we just stumble, stumble, stumble.


You have to say, I'm going to just go, because every relationship, every job, every move is a risk. Every marriage is a risk. Having a kid is a risk. Every relationship is a risk. And it's going to hurt. You're going to have times when you you weep and it's and it's hard and there's nothing richer and more important for our lives than to be connected and be in a relationship with people. Period. It's all a risk.


That's right. You've got to go, man. You just got to jump and go. All right. Hey, don't move more of your calls, your big life questions coming up. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. The Dave Ramsey Show continues, I'm Ken Coleman, joined by Dr. John Delaney with Ramsey Personnels. We also host shows named after us Dr. John Talent Show, Ken Coleman Show. Yes, we know how creative those names are, but they are designed to help you and they do.


Do you want to check out more about what John is doing in the show? You need to check him out on YouTube. And wherever you listen to podcast and the website is John Delaney, dot com.


Do you know you don't have to say W-W anymore. You're aware that everybody on the planet knows that. If you just say Ken Coleman, dot com lycett, they know that. And by the way, you don't even have to type that in. I want to show you speak it now. Yeah, well, we're just we're just going to do this real quick. So see here I'm in a Web window and I'm just going to type in Ken and look at it.


Look at that. I didn't have to do any w w w so the next time somebody ask you to promote your website, you don't have to go in your little magic box over here.


You can do whatever you want to do all this stuff.


I just know that that's funny that you still did that because you're from Texas. You just like to say it. They all think I'm playing. I don't like spending time in front of these magic boxes in the.


OK, well, that's a fantasy life dot com on the social media. Well, it's consistent with who you are. All right. Well, you got to check out the clock, John. The funny show. It's great, fantastic stuff. Also, check out the Ken Coleman show as well. And Ken Coleman Dotcom, thank you. That's great for everybody. That's over 65. We're very grateful that you just shared that information with them. Type on a typewriter, eight eight two five five two two five is the number.


Let's go to Christine, who joins us in Denver, Colorado.


Christian, how can we help? Hi, guys, I want to talk to you guys. I really appreciate you taking my call. You bet. How can we help? All right. Sorry, I'm nervous. Oh, I kind of have that part. So I have a question. Excuse me. First of all, you guys, as Ramsey personality clash. So long story short, I found out about Dave Ramsey and you guys about two years ago when Gizelle in terms of my first time, so we talked that I absolutely loved and saved five hundred fifty bucks a month.


And then, of course, 20/20 happens. And I know 20/20 was rough on everybody, but in particular about the Staudenmaier mentality. Long story short, about seventy five thousand dollars in debt. And I have a three year old and a one year old and we just found out we're having twins. So it's getting a little emotional. Yeah, sure. But yeah. So I'm just looking for guidance on where to go and what to do next. And someone from.


And twenty. Twenty or a married man. Yes. OK, happily you'll do OK, but they are very happily married so we just are having twins.


So they're going to be our third and fourth kids and I'm pretty terrified and excited. But yeah. So in twenty twenty I got fired from the oil and gas job early early January because the Chilean government restrictions all the crap from another job and got fired from that because my dad, my dad passed away from last twenty twenty. And so yes I is total my car and all just life but so I'm looking to see where I should go next. And the baby steps here, especially with the twins coming on baby two.


So I just I just don't know what to do. Are you employed right now?


I mean, I got a job after unemployment at the post office, which is awesome. I mean, I'm working like seventy eight hours a week. What are you what are you what's your income right now?


Well, the holiday season, which was there wasn't really a slow season to recover with the post office. But during the holiday season, which kind of sort of just ended, I was working like 80 hours a week. Now I'm still sixty five, 70 hours a week. So how much are you making?


Give me a ballpark idea what your monthly income is.


More so may we just switch over to my insurance. So anything that's taken out. So depending on if I'm working 60 or 70 hours a week, it's roughly about twenty two hundred dollars a paycheck twice a month. OK, that's your take home. Yeah, OK.


Oh, my wife's paycheck as of now goes to she works at a daycare. We're both our two kids. Girls are pretty much even with half of daycare. So you're like less than 200 bucks a month.


Hey, so listen, you you walked us through a couple of things and then you just tossed aside and said, hey, that's just life. Let's just move on. And I want to stop there for a second.


You've got a pause, brother, and grieve this, you lost your man. I could tell in your voice that you love that guy. You wanted him to see these twins. And he's not going to and don't gloss that over, man, OK? His his memories powerful and important to you, and he's going to miss an important thing, and that's heartbreaking.


And if you just blow by that man, your body will not let you forget that it will haunt you.


OK, you got fired and then you got up. You dusted yourself off and you got fired again and you got up and dusted yourself off and you climb back again. And so this has been an ugly, gnarly season of loss. This isn't just life. It is. It happens. But don't go comparing yourself to other people, look in the mirror and say, brother, this year sucked his heart.


And then when you have a season of grieving, which you have to have, you have to have it and you got to do it with other people. You got to get a guy or two in your life that you can be as open as your being a two strangers on the radio right now that will sit there with you.


Then you're going to start making meaning of this stuff on the back end and then you know what's going to happen. You're going to realize, dude, I found out I'm six inches taller than I thought I was. I got down twice and I got back up again.


I buried my old man and I became a father. I doubled my child. Right.


And those kids are going to scare the crap out of you and they're going to be the greatest blessing on the same thing, because that's what kids are right there grinding and accomplishing so much good stuff.


And it just feels so heavy because you got to sit down and just absorb and feel this for a season, OK? Yeah.


I haven't had a chance to breathe or doing anything. Just work, work, work. You're right. You're right. And hey, you know what?


Sometimes you got to do that. You got mouths to feed. You've got you are a man of character and perseverance and integrity. You're right. But if you don't stop, your body will stop, you know.


So, Christian, here's the deal. You're baby steps don't change. None of this changes. So you've got seventy five thousand dollars in debt and so you're through baby step one. And so you and your wife have got to sit down and you do need to grieve. And, you know, maybe you're not.


Maybe you take a week where you're not going to work those crazy hours and and you just get some time to breathe and begin the healing process, like John said. But I got to tell you something.


I want you to understand that the fear, you're feeling it while it's natural. I'm telling you it's not real. You can do this. And if your wife has got to say, you know what, I'm going to have to get a different job to wear the money I'm making, it all doesn't go to the daycare. And what else can she do? And what what can we do to say, all right, we're going to get Gizelle and together and it's not all on you work 70 or 80 hours, OK, but you're going to work the baby steps exactly the way we teach you.


You're in baby step two. And so we're going to incrementally we're going to be disciplined. We're going to keep going at this. We're going to get Gizelle in ten. So we're going to knock that debt out and you guys will be able to do this. But you need more income because here's the reality. I got three kids, and I know that when we went from one to two, that was a big adjustment. But two to three wasn't really that big a deal.


I know you got twins. I know that's intimidating. But listen, you guys are man to man defense right now. Anyway, you know what to do. There's nothing new coming at you, per say, but you've just got to double down and go. All right. You want to go to a zone now, right? That's it now. Well, there in the PowerPoint kids, the kids are in the power play van. You're one man down, but you're not the first couple to have to do that.


And I believe you guys are really, really strong. And you know what I'm looking at that really impresses me about you, Christian.


Yes. Is that you went through a tremendous amount of pain last year, and yet you're still standing, brother. You're still standing. And there's no shame in pain. In fact, there's coming a day, Christian, or you're going to rub your finger over those scars like I got on my hand right here where I got fifteen stitches. I can remember how I got that scar. It was painful, but John had healed. That's right. I could touch that scar and I don't wince.


Christian, I want you to sit down this weekend. I want you to write your dad a letter. Tell them that you're scared. Tell me you miss him. Tell him that you wish you could meet these boys, tell me you love him and that you'll see him again. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. This is the Dave Ramsey Show on Ken Coleman Ramsey personality, host of Ken Coleman Show on the Ramsey Solutions Network. I'm joined by my colleague, Dr.


John Delaney, host of The Dr. John Delaney Show, also a part of the Ramsey Solutions Network. We're here taking your calls. I want to talk about something that's really, really important, because we get this call every day here on The Dave Ramsey Show, people looking to buy their first home. When do I buy the first home? What's the financial, you know, implications of this? So that's you and you're ready to buy your first home.


We want to make sure that, you know, now is a great time if you're financially ready due to the low mortgage interest rates. So keep in mind a lot of other buyers out there hoping to get that first home or upgrade with the low rate.


And so it's going to be competitive. So you need a top real estate agent in your area, like one of our endorsed local providers or LPs or LP agents bring years of success and experience to the table. They listen to your needs, answer your questions, and they're going to be committed to making sure your first home is a blessing for many, many years. If you're looking for that kind of an agent, go to Dave Ramsey, dotcom agents and find a trusted agent near you.


That's Dave Ramsey, dot com slash agents. Again, I always I always like to just put it out there. We yes, we we sell stuff here. That's how we pay our bills. But I personally used one of those. Oh yeah. Real estate agents. And it was phenomenal. It was an extraordinary experience. Yeah. Well, this is true of higher indorse local provider programs.


Those are folks we you we vet these folks tremendously. And so if you the people don't have a good experience with those folks, you tell us and we kick them out. Right. And so it really is a trusted network. And to have somebody that knows you're part of the Ramsey tribe and that they're going to treat you with just tremendous, tremendous care, that's the way to go.


Hey, the phone number to jump in is triple eight eight two five five two two five. Let's go to Lisa next, and she is joining us in Denver, Colorado.


Lisa, how can we help? Hi, thanks for taking my call. I had a question, some bad things happen to me in twenty twenty and I'm ready for change. I and my husband are in a good place financially. I don't want to mess that up, but, you know, we're considering moving to California. It gives me a lot of pause because everybody reading California, California has some tax things on the horizon that scare me. So I just want to make sure I'm not sure that we can afford it.


And, you know, I'm not doing something that's going to set me up for failure.


Why do you want to move to California? Because the way you couch this entire question is I had some bad things happen to me and it kind of feels like bad things happen and we want to get out of our current zip code. Is that what's going on? And then what do you feel comfortable telling me about that?


I was physically attacked. I'm just I'm in a city where, like, murders are happening in the past three years. You know, it's just become. Yeah, well, that after I get her glasses.


Yeah. The trauma. So she promises it's crazy.


Yeah. I don't have a lot of family, so places really important to me. I feel at home and the place that I say if you ask me that question I was going to start to cry.


I know you're good. You're ok. It's OK because we need to understand your why, why California. And then what we do is we go OK, what has to be true to make that happen?


Because everything you're bringing up is all legitimate and a legitimate concern. So where in California are you thinking about.


Yeah, beautiful. And why Santa Barbara.


It's just I have I have a history that I spent part of my life growing up there. The other part of it is we can move overseas to some pretty fantastic places. But my husband works from home now and his company is based in California. And just with the time differences, he doesn't feel he would be productive. I consume calls and stuff if he was working in the middle of the night. But let me jump in real quick.


So, Lisa, when when were when was this traumatic event?


When was this October? OK. You know, by a couple, I mean, I just don't it's just you can't walk down the street here without seeing drug use anymore or. Sure.


You know, hey, listen, you don't you don't have to prove. You don't have to convince us. Right. I can hear it in your voice. You're ready to go. OK, what I want you to do is to make sure you got to find a place to go. And if California is a place is going to walk you through the transition and all that.


What I'm going to tell you is going to sound insensitive, and I want you to hear my heart as I'm telling you this, OK, wherever you move, Lisa is going to go there to. Yeah, I know. I think part of the movie here is with humor and what I'm telling you, I don't feel safe.


It won't work. It will keep you safer. It won't heal you.


You're going to have to confront the the the lack of safety. You're going to have to confront that trauma. You're going to have to do that work and through connection with your husband, through relationships, probably through a therapist, and go get a professional to walk you through some of this. A change of place will will provide you some relief, but it won't heal you.


And that's why I tell you, wherever you go, you're going with you. And so I do want you to find a place where you can transition to skinwalker through that. Yeah. So here's the deal.


Your husband, his he's working from home and his company is in California. So he's going to he's already got a job and it's a simple move for him. So no interruption in income, am I assuming correctly?


Yeah, I would I would be able to transition as well, even though I work with the public and we make around 200000 a year.


Oh, well, sweetheart, OK, great news. OK, California is more expensive, but on a household income of two hundred thousand, you guys aren't going to struggle. So I want to relieve you on that. But what you can do just so you can see what the cost of living is really going to look like, you guys can actually look in Santa Barbara and surrounding areas, you know, and it's like getting out the old realtor dotcoms, one of my favorite websites.


And you just kind of look at it. You go, OK, what's what does housing look like? You really do real math with rental costs, plus a purchasing situation based on your home situation. We go, OK, this is what we're really looking like. This is this is what a cost of living for our our home is going to look like. Then we go. All right, let's call let's go to Dave Ramsey Dotcom and let's find a couple of tax LPs out in the Los Angeles area and call them go.


Hey. Oh, Dave Ramsey, show listner your tax LP. Can you walk me through the tax changes that I'm hearing about? And they'll be able to because they're experts in California on state taxes. They can tell you what you guys are looking at. You can tell them what you did last year, your W-2 kind of walk through that and you're going to get a really good picture. And so, Lisa, I got to tell you, all of your concerns are valid, but you can go get real answers to plug into a real budget and go, oh, this is what it's actually going to cost us.


This is where we might have to tighten or this is where, you know, maybe we just make a different decision and live a little bit differently in the type of home out there. But all of that is easily acquired information. Are you tracking with me?


Yeah, we we own a home outright. We have no debt. So we put like seven fifty.


Oh, my gosh. You can do whatever you want. Oh, I knew you were in good shape. I didn't know you were in that good. You're good.


Well, and we have one we have about one point one million shares. But I mean us I think really wealthy people in California just terrified of what's coming down the pipeline. Well, but Lisa, Lisa, that's all real.


And that's a part of the equation. You have to weigh that like John and I can't tell you. Forget what those people are thinking. No, they're trying for a reason. They're leaving because of the higher taxes and because of a lot of things. And I'm going to be really honest with you. You do your homework, go read the L.A. Times. Go go watch the local news. I mean, dig. I mean, there's a lot of stuff going on in Los Angeles right now that didn't look like this a year and a half ago.


I don't think Lisa, I don't think you want to go to California. I think you have some good memories there. And it feels like a safe home base. You just want to escape Denver. You want to get out of Denver. I'd start looking around in other places. It may be warm. I think, though. I think the whole nation is open to you guys. The a fun date night. Let's just dream. Let's discovered again.


Let's get a laptop out, man. Couple glasses of wine and go, where would we want to go. Where could we go with this couple million dollars in Kansas. Hello. Come on man. Come on, man. We're talking country club. You know what I'm saying? Yes. All right. I'm not a country club guy, but yes, Lisa, we're sorry for you, but you're going to be OK. Hey, I want to say big thanks to my colleague, Dr.


John Delany. I want to say thanks to our producer, James Childs, our associate producer today, Zach Bennett. And you, America, this is The Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made The Dave Ramsey Show, one of the top four most popular podcast last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey network, subscribe or follow today, wherever you listen to podcast.


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