Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the car rental studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Chris Hogan Ramsey personality, and I'm my co-host. With me, Dr. John Dall'Oglio, also Ramsey personality and newly minted personality. He's the freshest one of the group so far. But that's just the newness. OK, I'm the cleanest one in the group, but we are excited to be with you and we are ready to take your calls.

Now, Dr. B, you are you handle all kinds of stuff. You're not scared of the emotions, the feelings. The relationship is shovel ready, man. You're ready. That's right. OK, you're properly caffeinated. Listen, ever since you and I started doing the show, you have transitioned from three feelings to almost six now. Hey, hey. I'm pushing. That's how we get done today. And you're right. That's my goal. America people laugh.

I used to tell them I had three emotions. It was happy, mad or about to be mad. That's all I had people I know.

But you I've heard you expressed disappointment. That's right.

Maybe some sad sadness, maybe some anger, shame or guilt. It's coming. That is.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you if Chris, Chris, Christopher Hogan can change, you can change. That's what we're doing today. Hey, listen to me.

We are here for you. So I know you're out there. You've got a money question. I want you to call. I want to talk to you about it. But if you've got something dealing with relationships, you've got something dealing with people or anxiety, I want you to call Doctor do you'll be able to help you. Now, here's the deal. We don't have a show if you don't call. So I want you to pick up the phone.

Call us 855 two two five. That's eight eight eight eight to five five to five. Or find us on social media. You can find John at John Doe. You can find me at Chris Hogan 360, people. We're ready to go. We hope you are, too. So we got us. First up, we got Brandon calling us from Memphis. Brandon, how are you, my friend?

Hey, how's it going, guys? I sure appreciate you taking my call. Yeah, but what can we do for you today?

OK, so I have kind of a double sided question. So I'm twenty four. My life is twenty two. Just graduated and started working and our combined income this year will do about one hundred twenty take home and then next year to about 150 take home. All right. Know he's from Ecuador and we have thought about the idea of buying a in the future buying a beach property that we said that paid cash for our house off which we paid off in seventeen months.

And so we were just wondering, you know, is this kind of a stupid idea to have a property over internationally that, you know only for certain that the idea was to have it as potential retirement slash vacation home? And so we also want to have real estate. So I'm just kind of wondering what's the best way to go about saving up for real estate and, you know, potentially looking at a property in Ecuador.

OK, all right, Brandon, first of all, you said you're 24 and 22 years old. You guys are going to be making one hundred and fifty. What what do you all do?

Am I wrong in terms I mean, line in pest control specialist and she's a medical interpreter.

OK, fantastic. So killing it, you all are on the ball. So right now, the only debt you all have is your mortgage, correct? I'm proud of you. How much you own the home? 120. 120.

What's your how much do you pay on it a month. About eight grand. OK. Oh, eight grand. You all are serious about knocking this thing out? Yes, sir. I hate that spent with the person I love. I like you and we love it. Might be related. Brandon, here's situation, buddy. Hold on a minute. You're talking about have you been to Ecuador yet? Yes, there several times, several times, did you like it over there?

I loved it. OK, well, OK.

Now here's when people start bringing up international and investing my hair, the one I have on my head starts twitching. And here's the situation, because you are are subject to the laws and all the things that happened over there. I had a friend that invested in bought property out of the country. And lo and behold, the cup. The country took it. They went in and it was almost like an eminent domain type situation that we have here where they can take farmland to make a road.

Brandon, it makes me nervous, my friend, now. Yeah, I would say this. I like the idea of you guys investing in real estate, but I like the fact that you said the one thing that wanted me to give you a fist bump, which was after you pay off your home. OK, so that's going to be job one. I'm going to tell you as a person that invest in real estate, I'm a firm believer that you need to be near the property that you own.

You need to be able to go lay eyes on it. I don't even like people owning properties out of state. Right, unless you're using a property management company. So, Brandon, here's what I do, buddy. I think it's fine for you guys to dream in HD. I talk about that in my book, Return Inspired for you to have that vision. And I think you could even save up money that maybe one day if you all decide to go move there.

Right. That you could do that. Or if she has family there, I think there's a way that you all could think it through. But I would tell you, wait till you pay off your home, save up, pay cash. Right. For any investment property that you're going to do. And I think you need to be close to it to keep eyes on it.

And Chris Brennan mentioned something that I want to make sure everybody didn't miss.

He said, I want to know the dollar amount I'm going to be spending for the few times a year I might go there versus what if we just went on an incredible vacation a couple of times a year?

That's right. How often are we actually going to use this property?

Is it worth the money? Right.

And you could actually not own it, not own the headaches, not deal with the drama, not deal with the the shifting laws that happened in other countries all the time and then have awesome vacations for half the price or quarter the price.

Listen, I told a friend, go, go, go for a month, like go over there and stay for a month, get a place and rent it out. Yeah. You know, but that doesn't mean that you have to go all in and buy it and try to own it. And now what are you going to do if something breaks? If there's an issue, it's an Equador. Right.

You can't drive there you it's a problem.

So I'm with you.

And if somebody ever calls me from Ecuador and says, hey, I need some help fixing the house, I'll say, I got it. One million dollars.

I mean, what you can do, right? Like the plumbers are going to talk to each other in the roofers and the like.

I don't like it. So here's the tip. Everyone investing in real estate is fine, but I want you to do it with cash. Remember, you want to be allergic to debt. We're not don't try to call me rationalizing, taking on any debt outside of a fifteen year fixed rate mortgage. Now, it's just the bottom line, but you can do it. And yes, it's going to take time. And John, people are telling me, Hogan, you don't understand, you know, how long it'll take to save up 200000.

Mm. Yeah. It depends on how serious you are because I know people that have taken on two, three jobs to be able to achieve the goal that they're serious about.

Well, and Brandon and his wife are cranking out eight grand a month. They're living on on gravy and backyard grass clippings, man. But they're going to get this thing done. Hey, listen, it's not that bad, John. They're 24 and 22. Listen, whenever people tell me millennials aren't focused, I really just want to put them in the forest. You know, I really do, because I know a lot. We talk to them every day that are intentional, that are hyper focused.

And so if you're out there, I want you to hear this. This young couple is cranking it right, being intentional. What can happen if you have a dream?

What can happen if you decide to have a plan and stick to it? I'll tell you what can happen. Anything you dare to dream. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We're always looking for ways to save money, and that's why I'm a huge fan of Honey Honey is a free online shopping tool that automatically finds the best promo codes and applies them to your car. It's so easy. It's saving more than 18 million people over two billion dollars. Shopping online ad honey on your browser today for free.

Make sure they know you're part of the Ramsey tribe by going to join honey dot com. Ramsey.

Hello, everyone. You are listening to the Dave Ramsey Show, I tell you, I always love when we have live folks out in the lobby, handsome, beautiful, seriously, just good people smiling at you.

I mean, look at them out there. They just if you all make sure you go eat some of the stuff, Jon and I beg for you, we bake some things over there in the Baker Street Cafe. That's not true. So here's the deal on this, Melissa, that they are not here to see us.

They're here to get the cookies and the coffee. That's right.

They thought they were getting Dave and they got us. It's like a consolation prize.

They tell them, hey, would you please. Yeah. Can you imagine? You take a vacation, you go all across the country to see Dave Ramsey show up and he's on vacation us to knucklehead.

Well, you know what? Here's the deal. We're going to do the best we can. We love seeing your. We appreciate them out there in the lobby. And by the way, if you are ever in the Nashville area, make sure you come see us. You can come in and watch the show live right in our lobby. And you can also visit the bookstore, Baker Street Cafe, as well as get some coffee and baked goods that we provide.

They're complimentary for you and we'd love to see you. All right. We'll get back to the phones because that's what we do. The number to call is elite eight to five five two to five. Again, that's 888 8255 225. All right. We've got William on the line calling from Newark. William, how can John and I help you?

Hi. Yeah, I was calling because I have I've been with my girlfriend for about six months now. She's 36, I'm 41, and we're starting to get a little bit serious and start talking about finances and how we plan to move forward in the future. And so I have I own more than she does. And I get the feeling that, you know, she knows how much I make an income. So, you know, I get the feeling that she thinks that I have a lot of disposable income, but my financial goals are a little bit different compared to what I believe she she thinks I'm spending my money.

So basically, I'm like, I got my car payment to pay and I got my school loans to pay. But when we go out, she she thinks that I make this much money. I have a lot more disposable income to actually pay for everything. And that doesn't make me feel comfortable unless I'm just looking for advice on how I can kind of, you know, broach the subject with her and we can kind of get to some sort of middle ground because, you know, my goals are to get rid of my debt.

But, you know, I also feel like I'm not accomplishing that. Yes.

Will you let me ask you this. You said you've been dating this lady for about six months. What's your longest relationship prior to this? I'm divorced, I was married for nine years, OK? I've been divorced for four years. OK. You've been single for four. You take this young lady, is she the one? Well, will you? Yes, did you hear me, I said, is she the one you got awful quiet. You scared?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

You know, yeah. I mean, she is the one I think if we if we sort out these finances, I think generally speaking. Yes.

Well, here's the deal. It's as a magic formula. And you are lucky that you called in the show today, because I'm going to like Penn and Teller. I'm going to pull the curtain back and let you see how this actually works. All right. So do you have a pen and paper? Because I want you to write this down.

Oh, yeah. Let me get that. No, I'm just messing with you. OK, William, I'm just messing with you. You can go back on the YouTube and watch it. Here's what I want you to do, OK?

If you have some goals, some financial goals for yourself, you want to pay your debts off, you want to become financially secure. And you think that the person that you might want to spend the rest of your life with, the back half right.

Has different goals in you. So, drumroll, I want you to sit down and tell her. That's the magic. I want you to sit down and say, hey, I want to talk about our financial goals, here's the debts I have. Let's talk about the debts you have.

Let's talk about the financial goals that we have. Let's talk about the disposable income that we have. If you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person, if you've been dating them for six months and eight months and nine months a year, and you don't like the fact that she expects you to pay for everything every time you go out, then you need to tell her this makes me uncomfortable. And this is going to be a broader conversation that you you also need to have about how you communicate with one another.

I don't like couples who are dating for six months that have this deep.

Like, I just makes me uncomfortable to fill in the blank on anything. I don't like the way they drive. I don't like the way they always kiss me on the forehead.

I don't like the way that whatever the thing is, I want you to feel so secure in this relationship that you're willing to get married, you're willing to invest the rest of your life in that you feel comfortable enough having those deep conversations.

Yeah. Listen, William, you have lived life before. How long were you married? Nine years, nine years, you struggle with communication in that relationship. Yes, definitely. This is your chance, brother. Oh, it's your chance. Yeah, we got to improve this situation. Now, here's the deal. You guys aren't going to combine finances until you say we do and you get married, OK, first and foremost. So there's no should be no discussion of that.

You need to talk about your goals. You need to find out if she has some if she doesn't have some financial goals. To me, that might be a red flag. And so you want to be able to talk about it. But that's what dating is about, is to be able to communicate. But I want you to get serious. I like that you said you want to pay off your car, want to pay off your school payment.

Now, tell me this.

How much do you make a year? I make 155. OK, and how much does she make a 34?

OK, now listen, if you're dating and you ask her to dinner, who should pay for dinner? William. Well, I think I should pay for it based because I'm making more than you should pay because you asked her to go. Yeah, OK, that's called the chivalry. That's that's how it is nowadays. Now, you guys might decide to cook some stuff at home. And I'm not saying everything needs to be expensive, but it goes back to budgeting, buddy.

And I really and truly, I want you to get plugged in, sit down and have that conversation and let them be real and be upfront. I want you to communicate more than you ever have before, because I don't want you to have any more surprises, I'm sure. And whatever the relationship was prior, there were some situations you wish you would have spoke up on sooner. And now you have an opportunity to go into this one being a little bit more assertive about you and hearing.

But I want you to also listen to her, right? I want you to hear what she's saying and not saying. And don't pretend that everything is going to be OK. Let's just talk it through and get real.

And William, I want you to hear me directly when I tell you your goals and your dreams have value to them, you're allowed to have those goals.

You don't have to apologize for those goals. You especially don't have to hide those goals they're worth putting out on the table. Yeah, and you're worth being loved and you're worth compromising and and and fill in the blanks. You're worth the relationship, man. And so here's here's an easy entrance into this conversation. Tell them that you called the Dave Ramsey Show. Dave was gone. A couple of his junior varsity guys were on the air and they suggested, crazy as they are, that you and your girlfriend have a conversation about financial goals together.

And you can be like, it's going to be weird, but these two idiots on the radio told me and then that's going to be your entrance into that conversation. We'll take the blame if it goes sideways and if it goes real bad, call Chris Hogan 360 Dotcom and let him know. All right.

Hey, I don't think you can go wrong by talking about what your drivers and here's the deal. Not only should you talk about it is about your goals and what you want. You get married now. It's got to become weak. That's right. That's right. And so it doesn't mean. So you got to have the conversation. I think you hit the nail on the head asking William about did he struggle with communication before? And he said, yes.

Why is that? Why do why do people struggle to speak up what they're thinking?

Chris, those those patterns are often set when we're kids on shut your mouth like I'll ask you later. Right. And we learn these patterns and they just replay themselves over and over and over.

How do we break it? How do we break the pattern?

Just moments like this, you call people that you trust, you get people in your corner and then you get nervous in your heart races and you sit down and you say, I want to talk about our shared values, about money, and you just do it and then you fall on your face and it doesn't go well. Then maybe he finds out she's not the right person. That's right.

You find out now instead of four years into marriage and, you know, frustrations down the road, or more than likely she's going to exhale, maybe get a tear in her eye and say, I've been waiting to finally meet William, let's talk.

And then all of a sudden you get to meet in a vulnerable, honest space, a brave space, and then, man, your relationship goes to different heights.

Wow. Let down the guard and get real. Some real advice. All right. You're listening to the Dave Ramsey Show. We're coming right back. Don't go anywhere. Hello, everyone. You are listening to the Dave Ramsey Show now cohosting along with me this hour is John Dall'Oglio. And I need to tell you something. He has his own show now. OK, he's got new episodes every Monday, Wednesday, Friday on YouTube and anywhere that you listen to podcasts.

But here's what he's going to do. He's going to get real and talk to you about life relationships, mental health challenges. But he's also going to cut through the crap and give you tools to be able to deal with the chaos of anxiety, depression and even disconnection. He's also has an anxiety relief checklist on John Dulaney Dotcom. Go over there. Check it out. But here's the deal with the show. I want to give you some information, because not only can you email him and his email is is creatively asked John at Ramsey Solutions dot com.

But there's a phone number that you can call and leave a voicemail and talk about what's on your mind. And I want to give you that number. It's eight four four six nine three three two nine one. Again, that's eight four four six nine three three two nine one. John, this time of of of that we're in right now is a time of tension, anxiety and dealing with the unknown. People are stressed out and they need some clarity.

So I know you're helping a lot of those people on your show. I'm loving it.

And yeah, when you think 20/20 couldn't get any crazier, then I got a show like a guy who didn't know how to work podcast six months ago and now we're on one. But, yeah, it's been it has really been humbling to hear the calls. People are hurting. And more than anything, Chris, I was talking to our friend Ken Coleman about this this morning.

People think they're alone. They think they're the only one who realizes that their marriage is a mess or that thinks they are just completely flunking parenting or that they think that they are the only one in the boss that is is spinning out of control. So it's just been humbling to walk somebody through something and then get the feedback on the show to think, oh, my gosh, I thought I was the only one that thought I was a crappy parent or and so, man, it's been fun.

We're having a good time. Kelly and James have been just rock stars and Zac putting the show together and helping us behind the scenes. It's been fun, you know.

Well, I'm excited for you. I know people want the knowledge, but also the encouragement. And I just want to encourage all the listeners out there. Life is not meant to be done alone. You cannot do it alone. You can't. And I know the American culture. We all tend to have a little John Wayne and us. You're too young. I'll explain to you who he was.

John Wayne, man. He was he was a cowboy back in the day. And you you just pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and you did what you needed to do and you didn't show emotion. You just got stuff done. And you know what? That's fine in TV and in movies. It's not real in life. Not real. It's just not know.

And, you know, I want to encourage people out there, if you are feeling things, I don't want you to feel alone. And that's the most important thing is to reach out. I'm a master isolator. I can give lessons on what not to do. And it's important to let your guard down and talk to people about the things on your head and on your heart. And you will you'll start to get some some insight and wisdom which can recharge you and allow you to run forward and deal whatever comes your way.

So we want to encourage you to reach out, check out John Show, where he would love to have you tune in. All right. Next up, we got Leo calling from Atlanta. Leo, how can we help you?

Hey, how ya doin? Oh, we're focusing on finish, my friend. What's on your mind?

The little situation with my parents. And I want to see if I can get in the right direction. Currently, my players are living there in the property that was supposed to be gifted to them and it's too long to explain it. But they're looking for somewhere to stay. And I have we're literally a mile away from each other and I have a parcel on my land that is already has a tag and like a little outbuilding out there. And I want to get it down so they can build a house and retired or whatnot.

But I'm having a little family issues that I want to get it to them. But I kind of wanted to come back to me from there, long gone away just because, you know, took half of me paying and given the land. But my family doesn't agree with, you know, they're putting their money into it. And, you know, coming back to me and I just want to see what's the best situation for what we have going on right now.

OK, so hold on.

It's your land that you bought and you're thinking about either gifting or selling it to the parents. What does your other family members, what do they have to do with the situation? He wants it about money to to build, and I kind of want it all back for my son, but I don't want it not just because I want it to kind of fall back for what I fought hard for, you know?

So, Leo, this is this is one of those situations. It's complex, but but relatively easy. If you sell it or you give it away, it's theirs. If you give something with strings, it's not a gift. It's a manipulation. And so if you want to offer them some land to live in your cabin. Great. If you sell it to them, it's theirs. And then if they put a million dollar house on it and your brothers and sisters and cousins are going to think they've got access to that money because that's part of their state and it's going to get all separate.

So at the end of the day, you need to ask yourself that question. If you want to hang onto this land for your kid, for your son, great. It's your land. You could do with what you want with it, but you can't sell it and then say, but part of the agreement is you're going to give it back to me whenever it's done. And I'm going to get the land improvements that they have put their money in on.

It's just going to turn into a family mess there, Leo.

Have they approached you about this at all? They they're the ones that really want my mom really fell in love with the land and the current layout with it and like I don't really want to give it to I follow my heart and I want them. There is just more me also behind my back because I love my family, too. But, you know, when they're long gone, you know what's going to happen. I know the other states and this, but it's going to benefit me or I'm going to be happy with the outcome.

It would be and I don't know if I should just just sell it to them and then let it be their problem or something stupid. I don't want to I don't want to sell it to him because I want them to use the money to build a house on it.

Do they have the money to build? They do have the money to build, but they won't have the money. If I sell it to them, they won't have enough time to understand. How much would you sell this land for?

Oh, probably were in a prime real estate, was probably worth, I will say, anywhere 30 to 50000 dollars.

OK, and who are your parents still working or are they retired? They're close to retire.

My mom my mom's the housewife, my dad's old networks. And she's pretty much where I it up. Right.

And are you married or you single? With somebody we love together. OK, and the reason I say that, have you talked to your significant other about it? See, she's all on board about it, you know, because the biggest thing is my dad, you know, he still works hard and, you know, he's kind of scared that, you know, if he passes away, he kind of lost my mom where or either, you know, so they can be around somebody close to take care of whatever they need.

Let me ask you this. Where are you familiar with the baby steps?

Yes, I am, because I've said before, I'm 29 and I was able let's just listen to your show. I never really read the book, but I got on board about two years ago and I paid off about one hundred seventy thousand dollars. Wow.

For you. Right. So where are you now? Baby steps four or five and six. Oh, yeah, basically looking to invest. OK, we're putting money at this point. OK, gotcha, gotcha. Well, I agree with John. I think you have to come to a conclusion. There's a couple of routes you could gifted. You could sell it. You could do a land lease with them. You know, you could set it up.

But you've talked about if they if they buy the land from you, they don't have the money to build. Right. And so I think it's just a matter of you figuring out what do you how do you want to approach it long term. But I agree you can't really gift it and then have this string and expectation. So I would say whatever you decide to do, utilize an attorney with legal forms. So it's not a handshake and it's because people can get amnesia.

OK, like John forgot, he borrowed five dollars from me the other day. That's why he now owes me twenty. Right. So that's that's called Pougnet math. I'm just playing. I just played you only me 50. That's right. Here's the deal. Get get make sure you use an attorney. You want all the things that writing all the feelings in writing and you have clarity. I this is a struggle. You can hear it in his voice.

That's right. Because he's thinking short term. I've got a responsibility. I have I won't be able to give like nobody else want my mom and dad to be comfortable and unhappy. But I don't want the hard work. I've put in two years of getting all the stuff paid off. I want my son to be able to benefit from that. Right. And so you mentioned it getting it in writing. I think it's less amnesia for mom and dad and more about the cousins and the girls come out of the woodwork when they mom and dad pass away.

I agree. And so getting it in writing, understanding what your options. You could lease the land, you could gift it or you could sell it. And whatever decision you make, let that be the decision. Put a period in a sense and you're done is not a comment period. Stay tuned, people is the big ransom show. Hello, everyone. You are listening to the Dave Ramsey show of Chris Rock and Ramsey personality and hosting. Along with me is another Ramsey personality, Dr.

John Deloney, and we are very excited to be here with you. OK, today, blond's dotcom. One hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed means even if you miss measure or picked the wrong color, they're going to remake your blinds for free. You'll get free samples, free shipping. And with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use promo code Ramsey to get the best deal. Rules and restrictions apply. All right, John, what's our question today?

All right. Today's question comes from Sandy in my home state of Texas. She visits Dave Ramsey dot com to ask My grown daughter is going through a divorce for the second time and is now living with me. She has two daughters from her first marriage and a baby from the second. The second divorce has required a divorce attorney and a criminal attorney. She was not working before the divorce, but has since begun working at a job she held previously.

I've gone through approximately 25000 dollars in legal fees and may owe more. This does not include the expense for providing the necessities for my grandchildren. My daughter is 38 and is basically starting her life over again at my expense. I feel obligated to help my daughter, but she's not doing her part to help me.

Help who? Who? You know what Sandy asking for? What's a permission to do? What? Have a boundary? Yes. A permission to treat her daughter like she's almost 40. Hmm. Permission to. I have her daughter feel the weight of her consequences. There are no choices, I'm sorry, the consequences of her choices, right? Yeah, yeah, Sandy, you know what I'm going to say? And Chris, I'll let you get your wisdom, but, yeah, it's time to sit down with your daughter and say you are the mother of these three young kids.

These are your marriages. It's time for you daughter to work really hard towards getting a job, towards getting out on your own.

Here's six months. I'm not going to pay your legal fees anymore or I will continue to help. And here is the outline of my help. And here's I'm going to require of you right for help. But daughter's got to start feeling the obligation that she's in control, that she's in charge. She's almost a 40 year old woman and she's got to take responsibility for these three kids and get to it.

And I agree. I mean, you got three kids and you can hear the exhaustion in Sandy's voice. Sandy, I appreciate you reaching out. I know this has had to weigh on you for a long time. And I agree with John. Having that boundary in place is going to be imperative, but also having a grown folk conversation. And what that means is you sit down, the kids get to bed, you and your daughter sit down. I want you to have a heart to heart.

I want you to talk about what you felt right. And you've been hearing her story and hearing her, but she needs to hear how you're feeling. And more importantly, I agree, John, there needs to be a plan of action and daughter's going to probably respond with.

But hold on. Hold on. You don't know what I've been through. It wasn't my fault. That's right. And here's the deal. If there's a criminal attorney involved, maybe this second husband was a bad dude, right? Maybe a total jerk. Bad dude. Gotcha.

We are about to do some role play, John. All right. And want to do this a long time. I'm going to be the daughter.

Excellent. You are, Sandy. All right. And you are telling me that the law is going down, you're drawing a boundary, and I'm going to hit you with this phrase. Are you ready? Bring it. You ain't ready. I'm I tell you, I did theater in college. You don't love me any more.

So I got two choices I can curl up and say, all right, you can stay, but but I'm really going to want you to get a job or I can say I do love you and I love those grandbabies.

I love you and those grandbabies more than life itself.

And so the most the most important thing I can do for you right now, the best way I can show you that I love you is to tell you you got four months mean you got four months.

I'm paying this last legal fee bill that I said I would do when I thought this was going to be a 2000 dollar deal. I said I would help. And now it's almost 20. Now 25. I'm going to be 30. You got four months. You're going to get a job. And you're welcome to come over here on Sundays for lunch.

I'm always going to make lunch for you. I'm always gonna love you. I'm gonna help you get a budget. I'm I'll pay for FPU for you. I'm going to be a cheerleader for you. You can drop the kids off on Sundays so that you can get some rest rest and you can breathe. But the best thing I can do for you is to put you out of the nest. You got a lot. You got a fly that's strong.

And that's I agree. And I was saying that because you know that no one's coming right. That manipulation is going to come at some point. Right.

And you know what Cindy needs? She needs a couple of women in her community there in Texas. Yeah. That she can go run and cry to after she has. It's hard conversations because it's going to be hard. Yeah. And she's going to feel like she's abandoning her daughter and her grandkids are going to feel like she's breaking up with her family. She's not. Nope, she is. She is for the first time saying, young woman, you've made three children.

You have made a life. You've got to go live it.

I agree. Wow. So once again, coming back to the whole mindset of have some people around you that you can be real with. Yeah, right.

It's going to hurt and it's going to hurt saying, oh, this is going to be uncomfortable. Yes, it's an uncomfortable conversation, but it's necessary. Right. And sadly, I think you will be better off in the end. And here's the deal. You're doing this not to your daughter.

You're doing this for those grandbabies. And that's a whole different mindset there. Thank you so much for reaching out and trusting us with with your with your question. OK, let's get to caller number four on line four. We got Cheyenne on the line. Trey, how can we help you? Hi, Chris. Hi, John, thank you for taking my call. Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for calling. How can we help? So I'm 21 years old and my husband and I are debt free and we're investing in our emergency fund right now.

OK, I have a little brother who will turn four in October. Am I allowed as a sister to begin a 529 savings plan for him and then turn ownership of it over to my parents once I put my own investment portion into it?

Huh. Are you a saint? They don't make people like you very often, oh, why are you willing to do this?

So I'm the oldest out of five kids now, OK? And my parents didn't save up for our college. And I'm in college right now for cybersecurity and I'm feeling my way through that. Right. And it can it can be a little tough, but I don't want that for my little baby brother. I want him to be able to go to college debt free. And I want to help my parents out by just getting it started because, you know, they have so much stuff going on in their own lives.

And I feel like if I can just get it started for them, it'll be so much easier for them to keep it going once they know that it's just there for them to start putting money into it. OK, well, I love your heart.

I agree with John. I love the heart, the passion. But I want to tell you this. You said right now you're in the process of saving up your emergency fund.

Yes, baby. Step three. OK, and your cash flow your way through college, correct?

OK, so how much more do you have of college to go? I think I have about two to three years left, OK? I would say the best gift you could give your younger brother is for you to continue to cash flow your way through college and then build up an emergency fund. OK. Down the road, yes. You can open up a 529. You won't have the the restrictions that you would have with an essay in educational savings account and you can open it up for your brother.

Here's what I would say to do. You would open it up in the for your brother when you get ready. And you could also have your parents help them to open one up. And then you are doing what you do right. And your parents are doing what they do. So they're going to focus and, you know, you're going to have some money to be able to help your little brother at some point. There's no reason to try to combine those right or turn it over to them.

You can make sure that you're in control of that money and it will go to your younger brother for his education. When the time comes, however, you're not there yet. See, following the baby steps, you're going to make sure that you would either, A, get yourself out of debt, build up an emergency fund, then you would start to invest 15 percent and then save for college. So I love your heart and your passion. I think that's amazing.

But what I want you to do is keep stepping. And that means get through the baby steps, put yourself in a position to be able to help down the road.

So, Chris, my first impulse was this Huemer one. And yet again, I hope the country's hearing the all is not lost.

Every twenty one year old and 25 year old, 30 year old isn't playing video games in their mom's basement. There's a group of them out there kicking but working hard, trying to change this country for the better. Chris, my first impulse was Shion could best help her little brother if she pays off everything. She has no debt and she pays off a house. And then when a little brother decides who was going to do if she's in a moment, then she's never her own kid.

She decides then she can him a big fat check that she can cash flow.

Well, that's an option as well. But the money is tied up and it's right. But she sounds like she's motivated. I just wanted her to get through the steps for she starts try to help someone else. I love it. And so she's got options there. Chanting I love your heart and your passion. Listen, I want to thank producer Zach Bennett. I want to thank the associate producer, Kelly Daniel. I want to thank all of you for tuning in and listening in.

I don't even think this guy, Dr. D, for hanging out with me. This has been the Dave Ramsey Show.

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