Transcribe your podcast

Hello, friends, welcome to the show, this episode, the podcast is brought to you by Manscape Manscape is a tool for shaving your balls. Well, it's a company that makes a tool called the Lawnmower 3.0. It's fucking awesome. I used to shave my balls with a regular shaver thing that I use for my head. Not good. Almost every time I would get a little bit of a necktie, I don't get those anymore. Now, with a lawnmower 3.0, it actually has a light on it.


So like you could you could see what you're doing. You could even shave your balls in the dark if you're fucking crazy. But it's awesome.


It's the go to machine for below the waist grooming and hygiene.


You can even use it to shave your chest. You basically use it with everything manscape has it nailed. They figured out something that other companies haven't figured out. You need a different tool to shave your balls, then you shave your face in your head. Well, there you go. And now they have a perfect package. Three point o the perfect package 3.0 kit comes with the new and improved lawnmower 3.0 waterproof, cordless body trimmer and a ton of other liquid formulations to round out your manscape and routine.


This third generation trimmer features a cutting edge ceramic blade to reduce those nasty landscaping accidents. Thanks to landscapes, advanced skin care technology. Not only does manscape obsess over technology developments to provide you the best tools for your grooming experience, but they only use the best ingredients in their formulations. Inside the perfect package, you'll also find the manscape crop preserver and antique chafing ball deodorant and moisturizer. Your partner will. Thank you. And you're probably sitting on the couch right now with your hand on your balls anyway.


Well, you might as well keep them smooth as eggs and smelling fresh.




Subscribe to the perfect package and get a new replacement blade refill for your lawn mower trimmer delivered to your door every three months, making sure your trimmer always stays fresh and clean. And for a limited time, subscribers get not one but two free gifts. The shed travel bag, a thirty nine dollar value add and the patented high performance, anti chafing manscape boxer briefs. This is a perfect package for your perfect package. Get twenty percent off plus free shipping at manscape dotcom.


Rogan, do yourself a favor and always use the right tools for the job. Get 20 percent off and free shipping at manscape dotcom Drogon. That's twenty percent off with free shipping at manscape dotcom Rogen make playing with your balls the best part of your day. Thanks Manscape.


We're also brought to you by Blue Moon. Once in a blue moon, moments should happen more than once in a blue moon. Blue Moon is one of my personal all time favorite beers.


It's a fucking delicious distinctive beer. And the name came after a satisfied taster said A beer. This good comes around once in a blue moon. It's a delicious, interesting beer. That's a full flavored beer with refreshing notes. Unlike any other Valentia orange peel for a subtle sweetness, coriander provides balance. Oats create a smooth, creamy finish.


Best served with a glass. Oh, let me see the best serve again. Best served in a glass with a signature orange garnish to showcase its beautiful, hazy color or just drink it out of the bottle like me. It's delicious and you can get it delivered to you.


How about that visit? Get Dot Blue Moon beer dotcom to see what your delivery options are. In some areas, local delivery is available in one to three hours. So you could be one to three hours away from one of the most delicious beers on the planet Earth.


Next time you need a taste of the extraordinary open up a blue moon jet blue moon delivered by visiting get dot blue moon beer dotcom to see your delivery options. Blue Moon, reach for the moon, celebrate responsibly. Blue Moon Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado Ale. We're also brought to you by athletic greens. Athletic Greens is a all in one daily nutritional beverage for improve health and peak performance because the perfect diet doesn't exist even with a balanced diet. Getting all the nutrients that you need from Whole Foods alone can be tough.


That's why athletes, health experts and top performers look to other methods to top up on essential vitamins, minerals and micronutrients to bridge the gap between deficient and optimal. And that's why I enjoy athletic greens. It's developed from a proprietary blend of 75 vitamins, minerals and whole foods sourced ingredients, athletic greens as a greens superfood powder designed to fill the nutritional gaps in your diet and bolster the four pillars of health, energy, gut health, immune support and recovery with added prebiotics probiotics adapted, Jenn's digestive enzymes, super foods and more athletic greens is one of the most complete comprehensive products on the market.


And I love the fact they come in these little packets that you can take with you on the go. They taste good. It's real simple. I just open a bottle of water, crack open one of those packets poured in the bottled water. Shake it up. And I'm good. I love it. I love the fact that I can take it with me. I love the fact they've been working on this thing for over ten years. This is one product.


This is their fifty third iteration. There's no harmful chemicals, no GMOs, no funny additives.


It's NSF certified for sport, meaning they take their product very seriously, consistently testing and auditing it to make sure that what is on the label is actually in there.


It's fantastic stuff. It's really good for you. It's real simple and it's what I like to call nutritional insurance. So if you're looking to boost your energy levels, support your immune system, address your gut health, well, now's the perfect time to try athletic greens for yourself. When you try athletic greens through my podcast, they're also going to give you up to a year's supply of vitamin D three Katou for free. As we all know, vitamin D from the sun is the best way to get it.


It's often recommended as an important supplement by health experts, particularly in the winter months. Well, athletic greens and their vitamin D three K two combines these essential nutrients to help support the heart, the immune system and the respiratory system. If you're interested in and upping your health routine and you're looking for one of the best, most complete formulas out there, I can wholeheartedly recommend to you athletic greens. They deliver straight to your door. It tastes great and it's super high quality.


And whether you're in the U.S., Canada, Australia, Europe or the UK, you can jump over to athletic greens, dotcom arrogant and claim this special offer today received the free D three K to wellness bundle with your first purchase.


That's up to a one year supply of vitamin D as an added value. When you try, they're delicious and comprehensive daily. All in one drink. You'll be hard pressed to find a more comprehensive nutritional bundle anywhere on the planet Earth. That's athletic greens Dotcom Rogan. My guest today is just an all around awesome guy. I really enjoyed meeting him. I watched him in movies and television for years and when you meet him, he's everything you hoped he would be and more.


He's intelligent, he's interesting, he's cool as fuck.


Please give it up for the great and powerful Rob Lowe government podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience Trying by day job podcast.


My night all day. Here we go. Here we are. What's up, man?


It's good to be. I was just saying it's good to be in like a proper studio.


And have you been completely locked down the entire time? Completely. It's outrageous. We're five months in. No windows would have ever thought this.


And if you'd have said this is what twenty twenty is going to have, I mean, you wouldn't have left the New Year's party, you would have never believed it.


You know, one, how does this happen? Like is there a war? Like what what happens, what takes place.


And it's funny how easily not easily like that. It's just. Yeah, no, this is what we're dealing with. I mean, I guess everybody one has to adapt. So that's the good news. I been going to restaurants at all. Um, I've been to probably I've gone out for tourism maybe three times.


Have you gone to the ones where they wear the mask and then the shield over their face as well?


Yeah, it's going to do welding in the kitchen. It's so strange. It's but it's better than nothing.


So you just sort of adapt. I know. I mean, who knows when it'll I mean, at least some people feel like they're going back to work.


I mean, I think we're going to go back on my show on one one Lone Star preproduction in on the 17th.


Now, how will they do that? Well, that's the thing is that's a big show.


I mean, it's it's not, you know, a game show. It's like, you know, adventures and rescues and pyrotechnics and stunt people. It's just huge in scope. So it really is the thing. If we can pull that off, that'll be that'll be good.


But I think the plan is well, one thing that's interesting is just how you. Run set is going to change. They tell me so you'll come in in the morning, everybody will get tested and then everybody's segregated. So you go to the set and the director and the actors will rehearse. That's it. Nobody else there.


Then they leave half to leave and then the lighting crew will come in and they light alone just the lighting crew and then they leave. And then the sort of, you know, the all the production teams get their moment to do what they need to do.


But they're doing it alone. Well, they have a test now that the White House is using and it takes 20 minutes. It's an actual test.


You go there so you could find instantaneously. See what we're doing.


One here, the one that you got is an antibody test that takes ten minutes and it shows active antibodies, which means you've got the disease five, six days ago or whatever, and your body's fighting it off. It's currently in your system. And it also shows another indicator whether or not you fought it off a long time ago. And then there's the swab. The swab takes 24 to 48 hours, depending on the lab. And then there's real worry and concern, like, are you contagious during that time?


Like, if you just got it today, can you give it to someone today? They don't know.


So until this thing happens with the White House, the 20 minute one that they have, until that's like nationwide, we're fucked.


You know, we're we're in a weird situation where everybody has to be really careful.


Yeah. And, you know, it's funny, I it's funny. I have no issue wearing masks.


I don't really get that that that thing that people I mean, I get the free the the freedom.


It's definitely better than not going out. Yeah.


And listen, I mean, I feel way safer wearing it. We're safer. And, you know, celebrities should be thrilled to wear masks. Yeah, right.


I mean, you know, listen, now Leonardo DiCaprio can go out completely, you know, with even better disguises.


You'd be amazed at how much people recognize you, though, even with a mask on, especially as soon as you start talking, they'll they'll recognize you in particular for you, your voice, and nobody knows your voice.


So you can't get in. And you know, but I'm a fan of the bandana. I like feeling like a bandit, but all the bad shit come underneath the bandana. I don't think the be at the bottom abandoned, I do not think is for you.


I think it's about other people and then the droplets. If you're getting droplets, I don't think you're sweeping them under I think you are breathing it through. What am I, a doctor.


I know you're sounding good. You're like you're foushee of of the ring. Thank you. The founder of the Octagon.


I don't have one of those. And 95 Masto.


I have hundreds of them. Do you really the best. You know, I'll tell you what they are, they're the hardest to breathe in.


Oh they are the ones that when you put on your Sadoon you definitely note notice that you're sucking wind. Oh but yeah my wife was all over that.


Like if there's anything to be bought on Amazon at any time for any excuse, she's the fucking maven. So the minute this happens, she bought every ninety five mass stock pie unclick. It's very addictive. It is.


It's like maybe I do need fifty boxes of toothpaste. It's right there. Right there. Why wouldn't I do it. I'll find a place to put it. I'll take that. Yeah.


So when your show comes back people will still be allowed to go home though and go places.


Yeah. I haven't heard any talk of, of you know sort of quarantining or fourteen days.


I haven't heard any of that stuff, although I have friends who have gone to Europe to do big movies and they've had to do that.


Yeah I've heard that. Like they keep you in a hotel, you can't leave the hotel. Everybody who works in the thing has to only hang out with everybody that's on the project.


So I understand. So the NBA is doing the bubble thing right where they all live, like in like like a like a commune or a glorified, you know, Disneyesque commune.


But the NFL isn't going to do it, apparently.


Yeah, it's too hard to get the in there.


I was thinking, you know, chicken wire, it's hard when you want those chicken wings. You've got to go out to get them.


Yes, you do. Yeah. You can do whatever you want if you need something. What are you going contact?


Are you a fan of the the baseball with the crowd noise. Crowd noise. No, I'm not a fan of fake noise. I hate that some cars do that.


You know, some cars that turbo charged engines, they, they, they put fake engine noise through the speakers.


Oh Jesus. Exactly. I never knew that I'm so to all my illusions are shattered.


I think BMW does it.


Oh yeah. I'm sorry to say. Oh yeah. What are the speakers on the outside of the car.


They the inside. It's through the stereo speakers. Even if the speakers turned off, yeah, it's an option that you have to turn off, you have to go into the settings and turn off, see if you can find that, um.


Oh, no. Yeah, it's like have a BMW outside. I said it like this enhanced sound.


Maybe it's not for your model. I'm pretty sure they do it for the M4, though. Yeah. It's one of the primary complaints of legitimate automotive journalists. The real automobile enthusiasts hate it.


Oh, of course I fucking hate it. This is this is like you told me that Santa Claus doesn't exist. It's not necessary either.


Like I have a Tesla and it doesn't make any sound. It's still awesome. Yeah. Oh, that thing is that is the only problem with the Tesla is I feel like I'm every television development executive. Right.


When I, when I you know, I mean, it's it's the it's like what the Armani suit was in the 80s. Yeah. It means I'm in show business. Yeah.


It's a it's definitely a signal. You're letting everybody know you're you're also really concerned about the environment. You're really good person.


But but the other side is you also have one of the most badass pieces of good.


Would it kill them, though, to do a luxurious interior would kill them? Well, what is that about?


That's a good question. I think it's just first of all, it's an American made company like everything's made here.


And I think that scaling everything up is been a real problem. It's been a real problem meeting the demand. And I think they just kind of came out with, like a reasonable interior and put it together. But there's a company called What is that company called? Again, they make they make a car called the apex. The essentially they're right next to the Tesla factory and they'll in California and they'll take your Tesla. They bring it over there and they swoop it up.


They put a wider track, they widen the fenders, they put better suspension. That's it right there. S Apex. So they take it and they completely redo.


She is the Yeah. Dobe carbon fiber. And then they there's an interior that's a that's a car interior. Yes.


I love that you love cars.


Well my favorite subjects, I mean I love them and I know nothing about them. It's like I also kind of like watches but I don't know any like I just know what I like, like the movements and just dorks.


Yeah. Is it the H six five movement.


Is the bezzle infused with whatever the fuck I thought.


I know the word bezzle. What's the name of the company again. Unplugged performance, so they'll they'll do anything in the interior you want, you know, those diamonds stitched leather, they'll do carbon fiber, replace all the plastic with carbon fiber.


Yeah, you're a car guy. I was impressed at the car collection. I love cars.


Yeah. Were you ever tempted to get one of those tricked out, escalate the factories right around the corner from here? Were they the escalators? Like a living room? Like I went in there and saw that when they were making for Tom Brady. And it was it's like the interior of a of a private plane, but in an escalator.


OK, so they do they gut it and then just redo it like some very swank take a living. It's literally a living.


What I've been looking at lately is Earth Rohmer's Do you know what on Earth? Rohmer's Earth. Romeu Yes, I have been I've been an apocalypse guy for quite a while.


So you're here and you're all your glory. I have a shower. I told you so moment. Well, not necessarily.


I'm not like a prep or anything like that, but I'm like if the schedule what's the difference between a prep year?


I don't have enough food. OK, why do I have a free freezers filled with elk meat and stuff like that. So I kind of have enough food, but if the power goes out, I'm kind of fucked. That's an earth rumor.


Those motherfuckers you can live in and they can drive like a thousand miles plus.


Oh yeah. And they do the interior well, there's different scales, but some of them go up to like one point five million dollars. And the interiors insanity. An Earth Romar.


Yeah. I'm taking out I think about them literally taking notes.


You can go anywhere with these. They also have an air suspension that will automatically level your vehicle. So like, say, if you're on some fucked up like kind of terrain, that's not level, it'll level it out so you can sleep well. The interior is like the interior of a really nice tour bus, televisions, satellite radio, audio, internet makes I mean, companies literally the Earth.


Römer, they make the thing they the base is a very large Ford pickup truck. They'd take like a huge diesel pickup truck and then they put this insane cabin in the back of it. And there's a bunch of different levels that they do it. You know, you have like a reasonable level of like one person. You like camping, and then you could literally bring your whole family and you're living like you're in a private jet.


Wow. And it can drive over everything. That's the other thing. It's like a legitimate Off-Road vehicle.


You go over a fucking mountain and that thing, you know, in Santa Barbara where I live, we had these terrible fires and floods and mudslides to the mudslides, killed 23 people. I knew someone who died. Yeah. Yeah. And as did I. Crazy.


Crazy. It's in our house. Yeah. The people. So you imagine you go to sleep at night, you know that there's going to be rain, whatever, and you got to sleep at night. And next thing you know, your house is obliterated. Yeah.


Instantly the sheriffs came to to us to tell us what you know about different evacuate evacuation zones. And I said, I know. And all these guys really want to just level with me what's what's like the worst thing. That's going to happen like the absolute doomsday scenario you guys are worried about. Well, we're worried about the entire mountain going all the way to the freeway.


Oh, great. Thanks for sharing. We're going to be fine. And that's exactly what happened and what it taught me was you truly cannot comprehend, like the power of nature, like when people say California could fall off into the ocean because that's not good.


I'm telling you, it could you could we can wake up one day and say, you know, Lincoln Boulevard in Santa Monica, that's the ocean. Now, you'd be like, oh, bullshit. That's nothing.


I'm telling you based on what I lived through the mind.


It's like it's an intersection I try by every day, but every day, if you said, OK, tomorrow night at midnight, there's going to be a 45 foot wall right here of debris, of homes, of boulders the size of a semi truck, cab, you big bull bullshit that's going from where?


Where the boulders coming from trappin. You can't imagine it now. Were you in your house when that happened?


I was in Vegas with my wife. My son Matthew was home.


Whoa. He thought he heard the the most radical thunder he'd ever heard. And how old is your son?


He's he was twenty two at the time and he's like a he's a God prepping like he's an outdoorsman. So if there was any one of the family to be home it would have been Matthew. That's what I would have wanted there. And also he thought it was daylight. He woke up and thought it was already he'd overslept because what the fires from all of the get propane explosions had lit the sky up. So it looked like daylight. Whoa.


And and then he called me and I got on the the scanner on the police scanner. And the stuff that you could hear was just it was just an unbelievable I mean, it was it was pandemonium. Yeah.


That's it's such a beautiful area. Santa Barbara in Montecito. It's so gorgeous because of those mountains. But that's also what makes it vulnerable if there's a fire. Right. There's all the stuff that kind of holds the mountain together and keeps the erosion from happening all gets burnt up.


And then that's what they said was the rain.


That was the problem. Like this was a one we had a once in. At least 100 year fire, the area behind our house hasn't burned in over 100 years and a once in probably maybe they think a thousand year rain event all within six weeks of each other.


So one of the things that was fascinating to me was the amount of ash, because I went on a hike afterwards and there was sick at least six inches of ash.


You know, like when you see the astronauts footprints on the moon, that's what it looked like all up, all as far as you could see in the mountains around Santa Barbara.


And then when we got that rain with the ash, it was it created like a viscose lubricant that just pried these boulders out. Oh, wow.


So that's one of the reasons why these massive, massive, massive boulders that you would think would be disordered into the Earth's core, which is like boop and just washed out.


It's so hard to imagine because like, if you drive up the one on one, you see those beautiful hills, you just see beautiful hills. But what that is, is evidence that the earth is moving. That's what those hills are like.


Oh, you're safer in Kansas. But then again, you're not because then there's tornado. There's no free lunch.


Oh, look at this. Oh, yeah, I know that house. Yes, it's crazy when you see that, like six feet of mud literally poured into people's homes. So just like the people that are on the bottom floor of the House were just destroyed immediately.


Yeah, I mean, you just how many people died in this? 23. But a crazy way to go to yeah, I mean, in this in the stories, you know, everybody's story is more tragic than look at that.


Well, one thing that this pandemic taught a lot of people is that what you think of as being static and unchanging, that the world that we live in is basically pretty stable.


It's not a small event and it's not small, but a virus that kills less than one percent of the population can completely obliterate the world as you know it. And that's minor in comparison to a solar flare or an asteroid impact or a super volcano. Like if Yellowstone goes, that's the real concern.


And that's another thing. I think that's that's my that's the stuff I watch at night by the fireplace. It's my age and alien shit that's not really happening.


And now, based on what I've I've experienced, anything could happen.


Well, Yellowstone definitely could go. They say it goes every six to eight hundred thousand years. And the last time it went was more than six hundred thousand years ago.


Can you imagine? They would obliterate everybody in the continent. There'd be no one left. The people in like maybe Africa, some in New Zealand, some people would survive, but they would experience nuclear winter so crops would die off, the temperature would radically reduce. The entire sky would be filled with ash. It's a super volcano. Those Caldara super volcanoes, they've they've exploded throughout history and killed massive, massive numbers of human beings like they think that there was one in Indonesia somewhere around 60 to 70000 years ago that killed off most of the population of the world and left as few as 7000 human beings.


Really? Yeah, that's just 70000 years ago. Well, you've had like like Graham Hitchcock and Graham Hancock, right, and Randall Carlson in that, is that part of that narrative, too? Well, certainly. Well, you know, they've concentrated on asteroid impacts and particularly the asteroid impacts that are proven now that they believe end of the ice age and they also believe restarted civilization. They think that there was some incredibly complex civilizations that we're not totally aware of other than some of the structures they left behind, like Gil Beckley TAPI and some of the ancient Egyptian structures.


But there's a clear indication that something happened both from an archaeological perspective and also from a geologist perspective. When they do these core samples, they find that somewhere around between, you know, somewhere in the 12000 years ago range, there was a massive impact because in all over the world, because they find this Tritton trit night, which is this nuclear glass everywhere, they also find iridium, which is really common in space, but not not very common on earth.


And it's a level they see in this. Yeah, it's over samples. It's a very it's a very consistent level. And they find that nuclear glass that's the same glass like when the Trinity project, when they first blew up the first nuclear bomb, that's the first one of the things that they found was this nuclear glass. And it's just this incredible force that causes the sand to turn into glass. And they find this all over the world at around 12000 years.


So and there's also there's you know, there's a lot of awareness today of all the near Earth objects and when Earth in its in its orbit comes in contact with these consistent near Earth objects, and that something probably hit Earth in multiple places, like more than one object somewhere in that range and ended the Ice Age, I think it happened twice. The speculation is that it happened somewhere around 12000 and maybe again somewhere around 10000 years ago.


That's it's crazy. It is crazy, I love all that stuff I live for. I love it to live for, but I don't want it to happen again. So it's like I get excited, but that I, I don't ever. The worst is if I listen to Graham Hancock and Randall Carlson and then I smoke pot and go to sleep and the head.


You should record those dreams. Oh yeah. If you could you should write.


This is teleplay plays. You know, that's terrifying.


It's just we're so vulnerable. I mean, we're vulnerable, period. Right? I mean, I'm 52.


How old are you now? 56. You'll look great. Thank you. Well, you.


But we're almost dead. Let's be honest. Let's I mean, it's time we got left if everything goes great. No, no.


We're going to live forever. We're going to we're going to have that pill that they're going to it's going to be announced next week. That might be the worst thing that could happen. Like you might want to go, you know, quietly in your sleep rather than live for five hundred years and see the horrors.


Humanity turns into that, too.


And I don't want to like my body breaks down. I'm not I'm so physical. I love I love doing my stuff.


I don't think I'd be one of those people. Like, you know what?


His mind is so sharp that it's like, well, fuck, that's great. And I'm like, I can't fucking walk. Yeah, you can't.


You know, it's like I want to be able to do my my thing. Yes, yes. When I want this, I want a sharp mind. Let's let's for sure stipulate that.


But what do you what do you do to maintain yourself. What do you do to keep the machine working?


Well, the number one thing was, you know, I stopped drinking years and years and years ago. You know how many years? Thirty. Oh, so you got way ahead of the game some way. I had it. I'm way ahead, so I don't do any of that. Wow.


That's that's a that's a lot of discipline. It's but it's not though, because the minute you realize your discipline has nothing to do with it, that's the only way you can do it.


Because the whole point is like, I can't if if I had if I had one. So you broke out because I was like beer, beer was good, whether it is we got their whiskey. Whiskey was never my thing. I'd be OK if it were tequila, there'd be a different thing. If you if you and also it was the 80s.


So if you had a kamikaze, remember those drinks. Yeah, I do remember those. Yeah. Like it would it would go. Then I'd be like, you know, what would be really good to get would be some Coke Danning rate to balance it out, just balance out and you know, that big deal is a big deal and it's good.


Be a rock star coke. That's tough stuff. That's what I'm saying.


It's not even bad for you. Mick Jagger does it, OK? Keith Richards is fine.


Keith Richards, look at Jack Nicholson. Look at these guys are doing what they're doing. They're the biggest stars in the world. And is fat too big? How bad could it be?


How bad could it be? It's good for your memory, probably.


And it's really good if you want to talk a lot and successful people do it. A lot of successful people do it.


And it's not addicting. Oh, no. They just enjoy it. Yes.


So that was that was what we thought, you know, that's what you know, that's the Gordon Gekko era.


And then and then the hounds of hell will be released. Once I got that good little concoction going, that good little Mixi mixer, some.


Well, it had to be hard to be a young, really famous, really good looking guy during the age of no Internet.


And, you know, the world was a wild place. I mean, you were really famous in the 80s.


I wouldn't I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mean, you know, all of it. Look, all the mistakes that I made, all the things that I learned got me to where I am today. And I could not be happier. And I needed to I needed some fucking comeuppance and I needed some of that humbling and stuff. On the other side of it is like, what's the point of being fucking famous today?


Really? I don't know if there's something dangerous. I know, right?


I don't know. I mean, forget the lack of privacy, the lack of, like, crazy fun, which you can't have. Right. Everybody's lying in.


Wait, I saw an article written about Leonardo DiCaprio, and it was just about how he dates young girls and how gross it is that he's dating a girls 25, like 25.


As a woman, you fuck. I was wrong. He's a good looking man. He's wealthy and happy and successful. Oh, my God. He date someone who's young and vibrant. There must be something wrong with him. Meanwhile, if a woman does it, nobody gives a shit. They celebrate her. You go Kate Beckinsale, you go take those twenty one year olds down. That's right. Rope them, wrangle them right. Rope them and then send them off, kick them in the ass and pack their lunch and send them up.


Send them off. It should be it should be equal opportunity everywhere though.


Right. When, when it's a woman they look at it like she's just, she's doing her thing. She's having a good time. But it man it's like he's abusing his power that Leonardo has power over those young ladies.


I figure, like, if you're if you're, you know, Leo or Bieber or any of those like young like, you know, like this is like what you part of coming of age. Yes. Figuring is figuring out what you want in life. And you know, when you do that you're going to do weird shit, good shit, bad shit.


Well that's you know, when everybody would if anybody would try to judge someone like that, like Bieber in particular. Right. Because he was really, really young when he got famous. I mean, it's insane.


And, you know, that whole thing that that theory that whatever however old you are when you get famous, that that, like, freezes you in Carbonite emotionally and and and intellectually. Well, that make sense with child stars, right? Anybody?




But anyway, it's also the thing of like if you ever noticed that before, like you get famous, the people who were famous to you then.


Fast forward 100 years or whatever, and maybe they haven't done as much and you have, but when you meet them, you think they're the most famous, crazy, successful person. It's the same yeah. It's the same type of thing. If I were to meet, you know, Dr. Smith from Lost in space, I'd be like, no fucking way.


Doctors, do you die.


So it's funny how time I met Lee Majors.


I was boring. I was like, it's a six million dollar man. I can't believe he's real, right?


Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheech and Chong and I met those guys was like, I can't believe they're real. You can't believe I'm meeting them. Yeah.


You get you get frozen and you're on your own perspective.


Well, when you get older and you become famous, very few people can have this conversation. Right.


But when you get famous and you meet famous people, to me it's still weird. Like when I met you today, I was like, oh, hello, Rob Lowe.


I've seen you in movies, but I'm more normal with it than when I was young, when I was young. And I would meet like I remember the first time I was on the set of Newsradio and I met Phil Hartman.


I was so weirded out. I was like, he's right there.


This is great because I met a lot of famous people back then, only like a small handful.


And so to be like working with him and and he's sitting there and like, I've seen you on TV, by the way.


I seen you in the Great with Phil. He was amazing.


He was I had my scariest one of my scariest professional moments involve Phil Hartman.


I was I was hosting the show on Saturday Night Live and Phil and Phil out of character called Mays', that he did reoccurring character Mazars, a hard bitten convict.


And he lived in it. Yeah, I was he was serving life.


And yeah. So whenever they had, like, know, pretty boy hosts, they would throw, of course, me into a cell with, say, turn around their chicken legs. Yes.


That was, that was like the predicate of the and and I just remember, apropos of nothing, it was the week that the lambada dance was a big deal that tells you how long ago it was.


And so.


Yeah, so so masonite, we're doing the lambada in a prison cell and the whole sketch built towards a a up a punch line and for whatever reason I blew the setup line.


Like like blue, blue, it like there's no there's now no end. Oh, look, there we go.


We're going to look at you chicken legs.


And so there was no so I had to ad lib something really, really, really, really quickly.


It felt like time stretched out and his eyes got huge. And I ad libbed something and it worked. And it got a really big laugh. And I think that that's when what sort of sealed my relationship with Lorne Michaels, because I was able to I came back backstage and was like, Hmm, you're really Whodini, aren't you?


That's got to be terrified to do that show, to do it live.


It's the best.


Oh, if I could if I could have been a not ready for primetime player, I would have. I mean, that would have been the I think that's the dream.


How much preparation do you do you have to do for that show? Like how many times do you rehearse one of those sketches?


Well, being what people don't really realize that being a host is it's the host show. Like, you can take as much control over it as you want and most people don't. Um, I just being stupid and naive did and always did and sat in on the writers all night. Right. All night with all the different writers going from room to room was fucking heaven.


But I was the SNL nerd so I was like, that's cool.


And then and then you do the the dress rehearsal of course, right before air. And it's a full show.


It's exactly the same show, full audience, it's the whole thing. And then they cut things are not one of my favorite things that got cut. And Will Ferrell and I played oncologists who would deliver the bad news that people had stage four cancer, but only with our mouths full of food.


So we had that was that was it was he'd be like, oh, yeah, I'm eating chili woofers. It's hot spreading the roof of my mouth. So you have stage four cancer pull. How so hot and spicy.


That was the that was the total predicate of of the sketch is where it was like so weird. And so it's that one and it made it to to air, I mean to dress.


Wow. Really crazy.


Must've been a rough week. Rough week. I don't think cancer is funny.


Yeah. I guess you got a point there.


Phil hated the competitive aspect of the show because he said that people were just mean to each other. That's one of the things that he enjoyed about sitcoms, is that everybody was kind of working together. He said one of the things about when you do SNL, everyone's battling to get their sketch on. Yeah. So they would sort of sabotage each other and they would kind of there was a lot of, like, backstabbing shit going on and he didn't like it.


And he was really hesitant, like to be friendly with people on the set. Like when he first got on the sitcom, it took a while for him to loosen up and realizes this is a different thing because that that environment was every man for himself.


Yeah, it's funny. Ensembles are funny that way.


Like there is a an element of teamwork. It's like any team, there's an element of teamwork that's intrinsic and you want and it's great and hopefully it's there. But then there's that that element of of, you know, competitiveness, even with your sort of band of brothers.


But you know that that gets toxic in a hurry with the right with with the wrong culture and and maybe the wrong people in it. But that SNL, it's like it is what it is.


There's only so many slots for sketches and there are only so many people writing.


And the best is when people try to take them in the read through, like you read all of them on Wednesday, a big, huge stack of them. And people will like laugh really, really hard at their own stuff or like roll their eyes. It's it's fun to watch.


Yeah. That's basically what he's talking about, that that always made me really uncomfortable.


The fake producer laugh like when you'd be doing like the third run through like like, oh, you're dead.


But people don't even know what we're talking about.


So you do a table read or the most unrelatable podcast ever.


Just it's been great. It's and young and good looking. Oh, I'm dead now. Doomsday Prepping and Earth Rohmer's of course. Yes. This is great. You know, there's there's nobody quite like a man of the people, Joe Rogan and Rob Lowe.


Let's face it, when you do a run through folks like you, if you do a sitcom, you act out the show and they want the actors to feel like what they're doing is funny because there's nothing weirder than doing something with no audience and not hearing any laughter at all.


So the producers would laugh, but they would do this fake laugh and it would throw you off so hard because it's like all you could. It's jarring. Oh, it's just so phony.


It's I, I did a sitcom when I was little like fifteen. It was, it was it was so long ago that there were only 62 shows on television. Holy shit.


62. That was actually Fox not 62 channels. 62 show. Two shows, by the way, how do you think I remember that there were because we were number 62?


We were we were literally the lowest rated show on television. What was it called? A new kind of family. Might add something to do with that exciting title that makes you just I just sit up and take notice, don't you? I knew.


What kind of family is it? It's a new kind. Oh, well, I'm going to watch then. What did they mean by a new kind?


It was a revolutionary concept at the time that it was two divorced women pooling their resources.


Look at you and I.


I'm sprouting a wonderful Karen Carpenter.


Look at that hair, bro. Karen Carpenter. Look at the wings. I know.


Was this your first acting project on television?


Yeah, I was 15. Wow. And so you were you never had a normal life. Not really.


So so. So, so. And family's bad. It was bad.


And it's it was opposite 60 Minutes, which was the number one show. And by the way, it was so horribly rated we would get 19 million people watching.


That's crazy. It was.


And it was a disaster. Isn't that crazy? Insane. Wow, that's amazing. 19 million.


That would be the number one show on television today.


Oh, there's nothing that even comes close that's so crazy.


Isn't that amazing? That was a huge disaster. 19 million people. Wow. I'm I'm the king of the new normal.


Like, I'm on shows that get. Bad ratings that then become the new normal, like like these.


I can't believe it, it just in like I'm just right there at those thresholds where you could say that to someone and not say what ranking it was and say, when I was 15, I was on a show that had 19 million people watching it.


They'd be like, holy shit, what was it?


I know. What's the biggest show ever? Yeah. What is like a number one show today?


Like what is the top shows like Modern Family. Is that number one, like what's the number one sitcom today would have been.


Well, Big Bang has been off for what, a year or two years. It would definitely be big song.


And they'd get like I think eight million I think was what it was. And they show it shockingly somewhere on Netflix to pop it up now.


Right. That's the problem. Netflix won't tell you shit. They don't tell you nothing. They say, well, you're doing great. Yeah. Or they don't tell you. They don't tell you. Yeah. And then they cancel you. Yeah. They like you.


They say we were really happy. What does that mean. We're really, really happy. We're really happy and like how happy. Yeah. No one really happy.


A lot of guesswork involved. That's insane though. That's so many people. And it was the last rated show crazy. The last rated show.


And then they they figured they shut us down to rejigger it because they figure they could make it better somehow and stop the audience slide. And we came back and that the other family had been replaced.


But yeah, they replaced it without saying anything. And and made it an African-American family figured that that would be more interesting to the storytelling or what have you and same name.


No, they at least played different people, NCIS, and it gets 15 million. Wow. And that's number one as a number one show. No one by a long shot, wow. Wow, that's crazy. So when when we came back and had the new cast member, the the the daughter was Janet Jackson, which was fun. OK, so you were still on it? I was still on it. Yeah. And Janet was all of like 12 or 13.


And she was your sister.


She played the other.


She was in the other family house. Yeah.


OK, so there was two families and one was African-American and one was your family. Yes, it was.


That's that was the change that the network made over a week. And they didn't tell anybody. They just you just turned it on one week.


And now that I loved network executives, there are people that are making creative decisions that have never been creative in their fuckin life. And it's amazing. And they're out there pushing buttons and pulling strings.


And now Aaron Sorkin tells a great story about the pilot of the West Wing, which is sort of it's a I mean, he wrote a great script. So it's one of the great pilots. And, you know, and there's a through line of refugees from Cuba braving all odds on rickety boats to come to America for America's promise and that sort of thread that's playing through it.


And so in the White House, we're talking about it and President Bartlet talks about it in a way to inspire people. And it's really, really beautiful. And the network was like, listen, we love it.


We think the script is great, but we think at the end that the characters need to get into a boat and go to Cuba and pull them out of the water.


Don't you just know that's true?


You just know that, like, oh, my God, this is really all you guys are doing is talking about it.


I mean, don't you think it's more dramatic if it's actually on the wall and, you know, you want to see those people pulled out?


I don't think the script is pretty good the way it is. What it's all I can say to this. He didn't do it. Thank God.


Take deep breaths. He never took a network note. Not once. Wow. That's why I was good.


No, there was never a representative for the network ever on the set. Ever. Not once, ever.


That's very fortunate. News radio. The show that I was on with Phil wasn't successful and it was a great show, though.


We were number 88 in the break in the ratings. And my friend Lou Morton, who was one of the writers in every week, he would come in with a new t shirt on where he would write the number on the shirt because we moved around like nine times. We're always in.


And this was pre Internet. So you had to look at TV Guide to find out what news radio was on. You know, it's like one night or Tuesday, then we're Sunday. And so he shows up with a t shirt on and said 88, fuckin 88.


He's like, eighty eight, Mike. Eighty eight were the eighty eight show. Jesus, I was 62.


Yeah. But 88 was like a million people watching back then.


It was not, it's not, it's not good.


It's not ninety million. And see but look at all it led you to where you are today. That's the thing is all that stuff leads, leads somebody if they're, if they're paying attention to where you want to be, if you keep moving.


Yeah. So you can't be stuck and you can't be scared. Yes. You could not be stuck and scared.


That's the thing about show business. Right. It's like this weird world of I wonder how this is going to be received. I wonder how this is going to work.


Then you're fucked. You're done though. Once you get into that head, you're done. Yeah. Do your best. And if it doesn't work, shrug your shoulders. Move on. Keep moving. Yeah.


If they let you. Yeah. If they let you. That's the weird one, right. When you watch a movie and you're like, oh, where the fuck did that guy go.


Like the guy from the mummy. What the fuck's his name. Brendan Frazier. Yes.


That guy fucking guy was you about Brendan Fraser crashed my Saturday Night Live closing, you know, at the end of the go.


Good night, everybody. This has been great. Thanks for watching. And everybody is there. He showed up and was screaming the name of his movie that was opening that weekend.


Bedazzled no. Bedazzled, no.


I was like, what the fuck? What's happening? Who are you? Why are you Brendan Fraser? We don't hear. But Dad's old world don't know to this day.


Don't know what it was about.


Maybe that's what sunk them, but does maybe that's what did it could have been that mentality. Like, that's not a healthy mindset.


I think what happened probably is they were going to work him into a sketch that got cut. Oh, to promote Bedazzled, probably some studio shit, some backroom smoke filled room shit, and then he was like, wow, I'm going to go out there and he's probably a little drunk wearing your bedazzled anyway.


Damn dazzled. But that guy was a giant movie star. He was huge, massive, huge, and the money was massive, massive, I just watched it. I told you my me and my family watched Tommy Boy No see, we went on we were doing family movie night because of the quarantine.


We watched like almost every night. We watched a new movie. I watched all the Adam Sandler movies, watched a shitload of Eddie Murphy movies. We watched the Mummy watch a couple of the mummies, and we watched Tommy Boy.


How did how did Tommy stand up in holds up? Does it holds up funny movie, man.


Funny, but awesome. God damn. Chris Farley was good bro.


He was an and a great actor. My my among all my regrets about Chris's passing was where he would have gone as a as a, as a as an actor because he was as Spatt Spade's the same.


They're acting in that movie Forget the Funny, which is great. But like they're like legitimate acting moments in that movie.


Yes. And yeah. And I think that's why it it has the staying power. But Chris was really going to develop into a into a real serious actor, a good one.


I think he was such a fucking powerhouse when he would go apeshit. Look it.


You've got those two idiots just to I like the part of the movie where Spade looks at me and goes, Hey, Lee Harvey, because I do my hair does look like Lee Harvey Oswald.


He was awesome, man. That's the cow tipping scene, which I was. I pitched to the writers. They had never heard of it and it made it into the movie.


Who is your mom slash girlfriend again? Oh, Derek. That's right. Well, that was a great thing because we we you know, she Bo Derek and her husband, John famous John Derek was very protective of her and she hadn't worked in a long time.


And he made her cut all her hair off the day before she showed up on the set of Tommy Boy. So what we thought we were getting Bo Derek from ten with the hair and she showed up with hair. That's basically my my length now because because John made her do it.


Why don't you make her do I mean, you can do the math. He was like, I want to keep you up and standing is riding horses with me. I need to be a movie star again. Oh but she was so lovely.


She's the best. She's a really smart, really smart, just great woman. And I mean I got to kiss Bo Derek.


I mean, yeah I know for people don't know what she was Daddy.


Oh my God. But she was the original white girl with cornrows when it was OK. You couldn't get canceled for that.


But yeah, she would have been that hot. She would have cancelled in a heartbeat. She was the original Gigi Hadid. How about that as a reference, my cool and young.


Now I missed it. I've heard that name before, but all I know is her dad got sued because it built a house that's too big with no permits.


Yeah, no, no, I no, no, absolutely no permits.


It's way too big. And the neighbors are worried it's going to fall on them.


Yeah. Looks like a UFO. It's still there. Oh yeah.


Of course. I haven't even figured out what to do with it. You know, I think there's lawsuits. Yeah. Let's look at both back in the day.


Oh. How about the one on the left go to that one. Can't nips them to power.


Google pal. I'm going back. I'm going to go back and do a deeper dive on this. She was on as far perfect bone structure, right?


Yes, she was. She was amazing.


And Tommy, you know, the thing about Farley was he he and Spade used to fight over me like I was the girl, probably, let's face it, I'd kind of look at certain lighting and they'd be like, I heard you in the Jacuzzi with Rob last night.


Yeah. Oh, we didn't call me. Well, and they were they they would like fight. It was it was very funny and sweet. One night I took I took the gang out to Barbarian Steakhouse in Toronto. Great steak. I don't they're still there.


Chris ordered to bone in to bone in steak, porterhouse steaks, both of them.


But on top of each bite, he put a cube of butter. And when I looked at him like, what the fuck are you doing? He was like, it needs a hat.


So if you want to put a hat on your steak, some people just genuinely don't give a fuck.


No fucks given.


Yeah, obviously, he's a wild man. I met him once on the set of Newsradio. He's partying with Andy Dick.


Oh, he showed up gray like wet cardboard. He looked gray. And I'm like, hey, man, it was just he was gone. Oh, it was it was sad. It was weird. He had gray skin.


And I remember thinking, Jesus Christ, Chris Farley has gray skin, like what's going on?


Like, he was sweaty and just just all fucked up.


Yeah, he he had major, major demons. And a lot of us really worked, you know, worked out for. Yeah. But, you know, it's some people can't they can't make that leap. Man.


The thing about him though is the fucking I always wonder about guys like that that are so powerful.


Like is it the demons that made him so good.


He was so good, so good. He would go ape shit.


I mean, he had the fuckin horsepower he had. It was so stunning to have these scenes where he would just go fucking crazy. It was so fun.


I would wonder, like, what is is that same thing? What makes him I mean, cause it was so real. Is that what made him just go crazy with Coke and go crazy with everything else?


I mean, I think I think like normal people, like I don't see a lot of normal people drawn.


Why would any normal person want to be in entertainment? Right. Why would they. So I think just by default, damaged people or people with more, more, more articulately people with a hole to fill.


Are drawn to entertainment to fill the hole and Yun's and some and some of the people have other damage to rage, anger, whatever it is, but without a question. The more normal someone is, I know, like, unfortunately, the less entertaining. Now, do you find that, though, like you're how you have it, you're at dinner or whatever, and then like this and then like really, really nice and really, really decent.


And I go, I wish you were crazy and damage like me because then you really could have a fun conversation, buddy.


Well, that's absolutely the case with comedians like my my favorite people are all completely fucked up.


Have you ever met, can you think, a normal, decent, well rounded up and fucked up person who's hilarious? No, I'll tell you real quick and right.


No, no, no. Humor is a big part of humor is saying things that are radically inappropriate.


Right. But maybe accurate. Do you think do you think that are the culture where everybody is so sensitive today is is it's got to be hard to be.


I think it's harder to be funny. Like you can make blazing.


There's so many movies you couldn't make now. Right.


Or jokes you couldn't tell or I mean, most of Monty Python's movies, I mean, so many we were watching some old Eddie Murphy movies and just just movies from the 2000s. You can't you couldn't make today.


You know, Murphy was it is still I mean, but what a stud. Oh, my God. He's amazing.


Fucking we we're talking about Norbit. I'm like Norbit is a massively underrated movie. That is a hilarious movie. And if I looked on Rotten Tomatoes, I think I like fucking 13 percent or something like that. I'm like, I don't get it. How did you miss this? I was crying. Laughing like like wheezing at certain scenes.


Yes. Nutty Professor, Nutty Professor Nutty Nutty Professor two is fucking and also the clumps.


The clumps. That's two. That's the second one.


OK, ok. I'm sorry. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Nutty Professor is insane. Nutty Professor is insane. This professor two's terrible.


All those he plays all those characters. Yeah. Well he's amazing. It's just the script doesn't work in Nutty Professor two and then they got rid of Jada Pinkett Smith and replaced her with someone else too. It's good what happened.


Yeah. Yeah that was a big part of the first movie but so good.


The Nutty Professor one is excellent, but he's just and you have you have you revisited the stand up specials that is in the in the leather suits.


I mean, I've seen them all multiple times. I haven't revisited them in the last few years. They're worth having a look, I guess one of the greatest of all time. It's crazy. He hasn't done stand up in thirty years. As long as you've not been drinking, he hasn't been doing stand up. Maybe this, too.


And well, they were related. I still I used to run with Eddie back in the day a little bit. It was pretty fun.


He's amazing. I mean, it's really every comic that I know wants him to do stand up again, every comic.


Like there was a thing we talked about on the podcast before, but there was a thing that he did where he was accepting some award and he was on stage and he did this piece about Bill Cosby because Bill Cosby always had feuds like it was on one of his older specials.


I think it was on Raw, where him and Richard Pryor to conversation because Bill Cosby called him and chastised him about delirious, about using bad words. And so he did this whole thing where Bill Cosby, you know, called him and then he called Richard Pryor, which was like, do the people laugh?


Do you get paid? Well, tell people to have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up, smile and shut the fuck up.


So he had no no that for him, that was painful because, look, every comic was a Bill Cosby fan. And sure, they found out what the fuck he was really all about.


But so for him to get a phone call from Bill Cosby instead of saying, you're amazing, I fucking love what you're doing. Well, I'm I'm in your corner. Congratulations. Go get them steady gets you should stop saying bad words. And it's so anyway, years later, he hasn't done standup in forever and he accepts this award and talks about what? Because they took back Bill Cosby's honorary doctorate and all these different they took awards away from him.


And he does this whole routine about Bill getting his awards taken away. And it's fucking brilliant. It's and he hasn't done stand up in thirty years. And you look at him like Jesus Christ, if that guy did stand up right now, he'd have the biggest Netflix special on Earth and it would probably be an hour of fucking gold, just straight gold.


He just isn't.


I mean, talk about doing it. He's talked about doing it. I bet Prie covid he was talking about doing it. I mean, obviously, covid fucked it up for everything. It's really hard to do a show now. Right. And, you know, I don't I don't I don't know where it's going to go. I hope he does it, though. But he's he's a he's a special talent. A very unique talent.


Yeah. In a in a wonderful enigma. Yeah. You know, he's so nice. He's so but he he's one of those people like that that people have all of these people project things on.


Daddy didn't I mean like what he's like, what he is, what he isn't because he's, he's just one of those guys and he's kind of an enigma. This is kind of unknowable. But he's such a good dude.


Well, he's so talented and. We all grew up with him, you know, 48 hours and did 48 hours is the shit, the shit him and Nick Nolte and Nick Nolte is our guy.


I mean, that movie. I mean, that's the ultimate I mean, the buddy cop movie. There's Danny Glover, the one with with Mel. But to me, it's all about 48 hours.


I wonder if you can make a buddy cop movie anymore now that everybody hates cops. There they are. Look at them. Could you make a buddy cop movie today with people they don't want you to they wouldn't want you to know. They don't want you to for sure.


Cop movies. That was that's one of the biggest genre. Right.


There's a screening of Kindergarten Cop that was supposed to be in Portland or somewhere this weekend that was canceled because people said that it was showing cops in a good light or something like that. I hope they get robbed.


I hope everybody says I get robbed.


Can imagine looks. You got to watch everything scene.


I don't really hope to get robbed. By the way, these are just jokes. You ever seen Nalty and Q and A, the movie. Q and A Yes.


Yes. And then I remember that. Yeah. Where he plays a racist cop. Yes. Oh he's amazing. But you know, there's a fucking movie that's not that good. It's called Warrior. It's like this martial arts movie that was a few years ago. And Nick Nolte plays this guy who is a trainer of one of the fighters, and he's the father of one of the fighters as well. And he's this alcoholic and he's all fucked up.


And he has this this scene where he breaks down and is crying and weeping and he just go, God damn, if you forget, this is it right here. Now, he's so good.


He's so that output.


That's the outfit he wears to go to the market in Malibu. Oh, yeah, man. I ran into him. Look at him right there. I mean, this scene, that's also how he orders a McDonald's screaming red faced, I ran into him at Fry's Electronics.


It was his age.


So he was buying some motherboard or some shit visa.


He's just amazing and he's amazing. So here's I got to tell you how much I'm loving your podcast. I love it. It's great. Thank you. I'm a big I'm a big fan and thank you. And one of the things I love about because I'm doing my own now and I'm learning from the best in the best of you is it's just literally anything and everything that makes you like you're curious about.


And I love that. So I know and I've been paying attention. I know about space and that.


Let's talk for a minute, because this week when Musk. Yeah. He did the big thing and that was fun to watch. But isn't it funny how excited we all are that we just replicated something we did 50 years ago?


Well, even better, though, they replicated something in a much more improved way where it can actually come back and land. It's reusable. That's the difference.


How don't you think, though, we have to have there has to be a secret space program? There has to be. Do you think so? Well, here.


OK, let's just go through the logic of, OK, this is what happens when at nighttime when I go to drugs.


I know I have cigar. Do you smoke cigars? I do smoke cigars. I want one. I was going to bring one in. I forgot but hell yeah. Beautiful place.


Would you get some kind of drugs right now. Let's go. Let's fucking go.


By the way, Dom is going to turn that off. I enjoy watching people take drugs. Do you.


Yeah but enjoy about it. I have a I have a very expensive wine cellar. I don't drink. You don't drink at all. You just have the wine for other folks or for guests. Wow. Yeah.


But could you have like a glass of wine or you just keep every single person I know who either you have the ism of alcoholism or you don't. And if you if you have come to terms with the fact that you have it the day where you go, you know what? I'm going to live in Europe for a while.


And gosh, I mean a glass of red wine. My birthday's not that I'm not going to do I'm not going to do heroin anymore.


That's what brought me to my knees. But a glass of red wine, literally, you can put a fucking stopwatch on it.


And it might not be in a week and it might not be in a month and it might not even be in a year, but I assure you. You'll read about them in the paper, like biting a cop in their stomach and jumping off of a roof over 100 percent.


I've been in this game 30 years.


I've never seen it go any way other than that, never. I like to believe that someone out there, they can do it, just like I like to believe some people can walk a tightrope between two buildings. Yeah. Not people who aren't alcoholics.


They can't do it. Fuck. Yeah. What do we got here, bro? This is good. Why can I not open this. Hmm. Here we go. Got it. Oh hell. I would have thought I would have I would have brought my own.


Oh no.


Well, I just have this box here from my friend Mike Binder.


I was like, oh, you know, Mike, he's doing this Comedy Store documentary and he bought me a box of cigars companies.


Do you know this company? They're great. Hmm hmm. Hmm hmm.


There's nothing better than a cigar when you're fasting good and fucked up. Are you fasting right now? Yeah. What do you do? The intermittent. I do intermittent. And then and then I do every other day a 24 hour real, which I got from Kemel, like like remember that moment where all of sudden Kimmell like didn't look like Kemel anymore, lost like eighty pounds.


And I was like and I did and like you know in the commercial breaks the bands playing and people were screaming, hey why do you look so God.


He's like I donate every other day. I was like, that's gotta be right back.


And I never got to like finish the conversation with them, but I've since learned about it and I did. I've done it. And it's been one of the benefits. Honestly, I think at the end of the day, the benefit is just it's just an easy way to keep the calories down. But I find I'm more focused and actually have more energy. That's crazy if you think about taking a whole day off of eating.


But here's the thing is, it's it sounds worse than it is because you eat dinner. So the day goes from dinner to dinner. So there's not an active day that I'm not eating.


Oh, so right. It took me twenty four hours. Yeah. It's a meal. That's a Jack Dorsey does Jack Dorsey, the CEO, Twitter. He eats one meal a day and he said he realizes that a lot of that letter sucks unfortunately. Do we have another letter?


No, I'm good. Right. Hmm, mm hmm. No, I'm good, we're good to go. This is good like this. They're good, right? Really good. Yeah, I do intermittent. I do either 14 or 16 hours. But and then you're you're like, you know, low carb, low sugar, mostly meat.


Mostly what I eat is meat. Like almost entirely meat, what veggies, some fruit, veggies this whole month, I'm not eating, I'm barely eating any vegetables.


This is animal based August animal based on, you know, plant based and plant based.


Well, there's animal based August. Mostly what I'm doing is a vegan army come for you.


Oh, they've come. They've come for me. I give them hugs like those animals are going to die.


I'll send them videos of wolves eating elk alive. You know, if you want to see that, it's better if I kill them. Trust me.


And you don't live forever and you do fish roll. Yeah, I love fishing. Yeah.


My son Matthew is a world class fisherman and he fly fly fishing boats out to sea.


It's all deep sea stuff. Yeah. And we go, we have a boat and we go out and we I mean it's like the sashimi fish tacos.


Is commercial fishermen's license real. He's got a law degree and a commercial fisherman.


So that's fucking balanced. It's a well rounded young man. You did a good job. Congratulations.


It's it gets good shit. And then my other son is is a writer on No. One Loadstar.


No kidding. Yeah. Wow. Dude, you pulled it off. I did. Being a dad. You got kids.


Dad is a it's a full time job but I love it. I'm one of those people that for whatever reason I knew it was what I was born to do immediately. And I devoted every fucking minute to it and loved it. And it it paid off. My my boys are you know, I have great Michelle's a great wife and great partner for me, but I love seeing.


Like that kind of time, investment pay off? Yeah, no, it's beautiful because then they become these sustainable, fascinating human beings. Hmm.


You know, so it's a how old are your kids? I have a 23 year old. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old.


And that's kind of what you love going to this, because my mind are twenty four and twenty six. So the notion of going back and having like another crack at it kind of sounds kind of cool.


It is kind of cool. You know what's weird about babies and just humans? They're so different right out of the box. Yeah. Like there's so much study on what makes a personality, what makes a human being, whether it's nature or nurture. And people who are parents can tell you there's certain aspects of a kid's personality that they're just born with. You see them with it as a baby, like right out of the box. And like, you know, one year in, they're different to like they're so different.


It's so like sometimes my daughters will say something to me. It's just and I just get so stunned just talking to them like this.


I remember when you were this tiny little thing and now you and I are sitting here, we're having a conversation about space or about mortality or about what I think God is or about, you know, why do people ask me? You know, I was having this conversation with my daughter, with my 12 year old about mean people. And I'm like, believe me, it seems like they're just mean, but they're only mean because they're hurting.


That's why people are mean. They feel terrible. So they want you to feel terrible.


Right. And we were just having this weird conversation about emotions and about where it comes from and, you know, and how some people, their, you know, their families broken up. And because of that, they wish that things were normal.


So they make up lies or they when other people are doing well, they get angry at other people. And then we were just just talking through this. And in the middle of it, I'm talking to her and I'm thinking, I remember when you were so small, you were this tiny little thing.


And now here you are, this twelve year old who's like we're having this, like, intense, like, conversation about emotions and the development of human beings and how to be more compassionate and how there's this instinct to go fuck her, you know? And I'm like, I know you have that feeling, but you got to fight that feeling like nobody has that feeling more than me, that fuck you feeling. I got a lot of that, but you got to keep it locked up.


It's not good for you.


That doesn't do you any good either. When you like fuck you that you're really saying fuck yourself.


It's not helping you because you're developing anger instead of developing forgiveness, like you develop this anger towards a person where it's better, it's hard, but it's better to try to understand why they're that way and why they're lashing out at you. And when you do that, what I was explaining to her was like, it'll be ineffective. Like they're they're mean stuff to you will be ineffective. It doesn't work anymore because you know who you are. So if you know who you are, you'll it'll bother you that they're trying to do it.


But it won't you won't change your feelings about yourself.


Someone can if you don't have a good sense of personal sovereignty, someone can change your feelings about yourself. You know, I remember when I was young, someone could insult me and I would think that they were right.


I'd be like, oh, God, I am a loser, you know what I mean? Like, fuck, I'm a loser. Shit. And I'd go home and I'd feel terrible and I feel like a loser.


But if someone does it to you when you have sovereignty, you're like, oh, that's feels gross to this person is trying to make me feel bad but doesn't change who I am. I know who I am. You gain an understanding through struggle.


And we were having this conversation. I remember thinking, God, it's so weird that people just sort of pop out of a giant us. You know, you have sex person gets develop, they pop out of a job. And next thing you know, they're twelve and is sitting across the dinner table. Just you and her just chit chat and it's God. So it's amazing. It's amazing. It's true.


I always I always tell my kids like that, you know, that great phrase about bitterness and anger and bitterness. It's like drinking poison and expecting the other other person to drop dead.


Yes, yes, yes. I love that statement.


It's a great one. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, world view, right? Optimism, positivity, rejection of victimhood. All that stuff is so important.


Yeah. I can develop tools to their tools for success because there's so many people that contain they hold on to that stuff. What's that other expression? That anger is a a poison that kills the vessel that holds it.


Mm hmm. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. But they do. But you can you could use them as tools to understand people, you know, like that feeling that you get. It's a tool. And the understanding of like how to manage that is a tool. You can you can use it and you could understand people better and then you'll recognize in yourself better and it'll it'll prevent. You from making some catastrophic mistakes, you know, one of the things about, like angry, bitter, spiteful people, they rarely get anything done.


They really accomplish anything good that really they always have this bitter, horrible feeling that they're they're carrying around with them.


Yeah, I mean, I I'm a big believer in and in therapy and in personal digging and growth and stuff like that. I mean, it's it's it's part and parcel with my recovery. It's recovery is not for everybody, nor should it be. But but I think therapy could and should be. I think I think it should be like it should be like going in. Get your oil checked.


Do you do like AA meetings and the whole deal?


I you know, it's an anonymous program, so you can say the the AA Gestapo will come and get me.


Well, they really if you say you go to it, here's why. It's in what they call the traditions. Right. They look like it's like the constitution of AA. It's in the Constitution. Because the theory is, if I were to say AA works, I go to AA and then God forbid, I slip. Then the person who might have been on the fence about going to AA will go, y'know, that's bullshit. That guy was in AA and he slipped.


That's the theory about it. That's a weird theory because I don't. Sighs Works. Right.


You get in shape and then you can just decide, eat Twinkies and you get out of shape. It doesn't mean the exercise doesn't work.


I listen, I, I there are people that's, you know, true traditionalists don't even like people talking with the amount that I talk about recovery publicly for that reason. But my thing is in this world, addiction is such a fucking killer and there are so many families suffering from it. That and and in every teenager is going to have to figure out their relationship with drugs and alcohol. There isn't one who isn't going to have to. And a lot of people are going to fuck that up and some aren't.


But the more that conversation is out there and that people can can talk about it openly is better. So I kind of am more public about it just because it's, you know, changed my life, saved my life.


I don't have alcoholism in my family, nor personally. But I admire people who talk about recovery.


I think it's important because I think especially someone like you, because you're a very famous public figure.


And when you talk about addiction and your own struggles, people say, well, fucking Rob Lowe has a problem with booze.


Like, OK, it's this is like a thing, right?


It's part of being a person. Yeah, for sure. I think I think it's very valuable. I think you talking about it is very valuable and I think it's honorable.


Well, thanks. I mean and I, I get a lot of I get a lot out of it because inevitably, you know, I meet people who are earlier on their journey and it reminds me of how bad it can be if you don't keep an eye on it. You don't. I mean, it's like because I'm just one of those people. It's like, you know, if it says take two aspirin. Then I immediately think more than five, it's got to be fucking great and you should I mean, that's that is the way my brain works.


Do you think that that's from becoming famous when you're very young?


Like, what is the earliest big thing that you did was the earliest big project that you did?


I mean, it was probably that that Karen Carpenter lookalike love thing I had going on, but like a big.


Well, that was sort of.


But I mean, you said that was the big knock out that put me on the teen magazines, though, and that that's that that I went from like a theater geek who couldn't, like none of the cool girls gave a shit about because I was like you because I was a theater geek.


Ed, good looking fellow.


I was pretty I didn't look at the fucking football play. And they all wanted the football players and the beach volleyball players and in that culture.


Like youth entertainment wasn't a thing. There was no MTV, there was no US magazine, there was no Nickelodeon, there's none of it. So like it was kind of this like things to us to watch.


And 87. Look at you, 87 late, though. I mean, you know, we could roll that thing back to seventy nine and get some good shit.


Duran Duran, look at Fox. The Monkees were still around.


What. Duran Duran. You know, it's funny how in Europe like things that are almost like campy here are still cool.


Like Mirco Crockpots is one of the baddest motherfuckers of all times. Is Kickboxer used to come out to Duran Duran. That was his walk out song. Come out to While Boyle's Wild Boys.


Well, boys, I mean, he's a fucking straight up killer. He's terrifying human being. And he would come out to Duran Duran. That's unbelievable.


That's that's I loved it.


I was like, that is the scariest human being on Earth. That's a fucking Duran Duran.


Who's the guy this is going to be like, who is that baseball player? And like Babe Ruth. Yeah, that's him. But who's the fucking gnarly motherfucker from Hawaii?


B.J. Penn. Oh, yeah. B.J. Yeah. So, B.J., when I met B.J. and I don't know anything really much about the sport, he was like, you know, that before every match I watch Youngblood get the fuck out of here.


What? Are you kidding me? This is crazy. Crazy. He's crazy. So fucking nuts.


That's funny. Yeah, but that I don't think so. You don't think they're connected to becoming very famous at an early age? Sort of exacerbates.


Because I would I would thought it up.


But you got to have it in you okay. You have to have a ingenuously family thing. Is it genetic? It's it's partially genetics. You know, it's it's in the family for sure, 100 percent.


It's in our in my family, both sides, the family. But some people don't have it. Some people do. And what exacerbates it is the the access the you know, all the stuff that you'd think it's like just like fame and money and all that is jet fuel for addiction. And then on the other side of it is there's always in the back of your mind that if if it works out, if I if I get this movie or I get this part or whatever, then it'll I'll feel better about myself and then you get it.


And you don't and then you're really fucked, so that's why when people go, he had it all, I don't understand. He I go, I understand it perfectly. Yeah, he is. Dreams came true and they didn't fucking change who he was. Yeah.


Did you ever have imposter syndrome?


Oh yeah. Right.


I, I have a lot of syndromes but I'm not sure I had that one thing he didn't have because you were famous early on.


Maybe I mean, it was like a normal thing to me because I also had a vision when I was a kid that I was going to do what I was going to do.


Like, oh, yeah. Like, I it was like I knew it. I knew it is as sure as I'm sitting here smoking a cigar with you. I knew it. I knew I was going to be an actor and it was going to be successful and I knew it was going to happen. And and here's the thing. I was too young and too stupid to know otherwise, and no one told me different. I'm so grateful that I didn't have someone telling me that 99 percent of the people in the Screen Actors Guild, these are people who are acting, who've made it there in Hollywood.


They're acting 99 percent of them can't support themselves as an actor.


Really? That's a true statistic. That's a crazy number.


Now, if somebody had told me that. I might have fucked me up and maybe my vision would have weakened. Hmm, yeah. Yeah, that's interesting, right, like if somebody gives you, like someone made it, you made it. People are obviously there's movies, people are making it.


Like I say to my kids, it doesn't I don't know what the odds are, but somebody's got to do it. Why not? Yes, that's a good way to look at it. Yeah, yeah.


I mean, that's that was the thing I so I had that, which is both a curse and a blessing because I knew I didn't have to go through the thing that so many people do where they don't really know where they fit in the world and don't know what their gift is. I don't know what they want to do. So you're never wavered.


You had this idea. How old were you when you figured it out?


Wait, if I saw I saw a local theater production in Dayton, Ohio, of Oliver, of all things. My parents must have known a lot of actors and there were kids in it. And it was literally like out of a movie like, oh, like the light hit me in the skies parted and I want to do that. And there was a sign up sheet for summer kid acting camp or whatever.


And I go, I want to do that. My parents like, Yeah, yeah, sure. And they I'm sure they thought it was like just camp or little league or any other thing that a kid would. But I knew it was the beginning of a step of what I wanted to do. I was deadly serious about it.


Wow, that's incredible. That's very fortunate because then you start to work towards your path like so many people are like 30 and they don't know what they want to do with their life, doing something they don't enjoy in like I want to find something that I enjoy and they don't know what that is.


That's a those conversations are terrifying to me. I've had conversations with people like I just got to find what what my thing is. I'm like, fuck, man, it's hard.


And that's and that's, you know, my biggest fear for my sons is, you know, as a parent, you know, the goals and issues change with age. And where there are now, it's all about, you know, jobs. Yeah. And, you know, we've had those my favorites. So my my youngest son, Jonathan, was the youngest intern at the Eli Broad stem cell laboratory in the University of San Francisco during his summers in high school, and in fact, was next to one of the scientists that won the Nobel Prize that year.


So he gets into Stanford, goes to Stanford, graduates with straight A's. And I'm thinking this is I've done it as a parent. He's done it. And then he comes and goes, I want to be in showbusiness. And I wanted to kill myself. I was like, it was worse than what it was actually worse than I want to be in showbiz. It was worse because it was I want to be an actor and I wanted to publicly disembowel myself.


Isn't that crazy? You are a successful actor. You love doing it, but yet you didn't want your kid to do it.


Isn't it amazing here? It is really weird. And there's so much to sort of unpack underneath that.


Yeah, well, I don't think you want your kids to be in pain. Right. The uncertainty of it. Yeah.


It's like you.


I always used to read about this quote about Henry Fonda that to the day he died and he died with the Oscar for fucking Arnold on Golden Pond next to him, he thought he would never work again.


Oh. And I was like, that has to be bullshit. Guess what? It's not. It's not fucking heavy, but then the other thing I would get, and this is the other really weird thing is I'd wake up in the middle of the night and go, oh, my instinct to beat every creative fucking instinct out of my children is is now indicted them and sentenced them to a life of a drone in a cubicle, way worse.


Do you know I'm saying yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, your instinct to protect them from uncertainty has led them to the certainty of doom. Mm hmm.


And then you realize, you know what? They're going to be who they are. And Johnny is a really talented writer. And he's found his niche and and ironically went right to work right out of Stanford. So. It all kind of works out, you know, it really does, but you we do as dads put our own fears in our own shit on our on our kids.


Oh, yeah. There's no doubt, you know, I mean, if one of my kids told me they wanted to be a comic, I'd be terrified.


Right. Pusa also. It's like.


I don't. But there's there's certain parts of comedy that are so painful, like the bombing, like I don't think I could be there if my kid was bombing, it's I would feel it as much as them. Do you remember? A joke that you told once that bombed. Oh, yeah, really? Oh, my God, you remember the challenge of our age? Dude, I've bombed a lot. I just can't believe that I don't.


I talked to George Lopez on my podcast two days ago, and he was talking about bombing. But you're fucking Fred. You're joke. And he's he's fucking, you know, George Lopez. What the fuck? How do you get a bomb?


You have to come up with new material. And if you're going to come up with new material, some of them are going to be duds. That's just how it is. Yeah.


And also, you have to take chances if you want to expand like comedy is. There's a there's a bunch of things going on. Right. There's you relating to the audience. There's them liking you. There's these concepts you're trying to flesh out, especially to work out room like the Comedy Store that you have to take chances. There's no way around it. And sometimes those chances fall flat on their face. The good thing is those through those painful failures, those are like the biggest springboards to improvement growth.


Like every time I've ever had a bad set. My next set has been amazing because you just feel the sting and you prepare better. And also, like, I think my past bombings have prepared me to not bomb again, because the fact that I know what it feels like to suck. So I always explain it that it's like if someone was bombing, like it's like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother, except there's probably someone out there that likes sucking a thousand dicks in front of their mother.


No one likes bombing.


You know, there's probably some guy who's just really into humiliation, but I don't think there is no one out there in the bombing. Oh, man. I just know.


Well, because it's like. Oh, well, listen. Listen, what? I will bet you that no one is bombed harder than me. Well, that's not possible. I won't comment. I will be like, No, bro, how is it possible I buy your trusty servant next to us?


Young Jamie will pull up. Did you just stand up? He can pull up me bombing. In front of a billion people, what did you do? The Academy Awards. Oh, you hosted it. Well, here's the thing.


So talk about bombing.


My dick's bigger than your dick about the other 20. For 24 years old, I'm doing my movies, the Academy Awards, ask me to do a big opening number for them, I'm like, holy fucking shit, this is it.


This is a yeah, yeah. We'll get pulled off of YouTube, you know, God damn it, these motherfuckers.


So, look, I'll play it for us.


So we play before I go a contextual context. Oh, stop, stop or I'll bomb again. Album right now again.


So they say to me, they go, we want you to. And I'm like, this is a high honor. Eighty six. OK, high high honor. Sure.


And. I should have, like, probably thought it through because the idea didn't sound great to me, but it's the Academy Awards, you know, they know better than I do to their show. And the idea is it's going to be an homage to old time Hollywood. And one of the earliest stars in Hollywood was Snow White, the animated figure.


So we're going to have a girl obviously playing Snow White and we're going to do a duet because it's a big opening musical number. The Oscars always used to open with musical numbers before there were monologues.


Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, this ended.


It ended it. So I'm like, OK, OK, it's no great, OK. And anyway, Marvin Hamlisch is going to write it. Marvin Hamlisch. I'm like, I know Marvin Hamlisch, as you wrote The Sting Down and Anna while Scott Joplin wrote The Sting, but Marvin Hamlisch won the Academy Award for these double Oscars. He's a genius. And, you know, I'm not going to tell Marvin Hamlisch that. I think that the lyrics are cheesy.


I could do that. So when they get Ike and Tina Turner's Proud Mary.


And change the lyrics to. Did a lot of work for Walt Disney. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Like I'm saying, it's about you and I going like this.


And we're going to pause for the people at home if you need to if you need to watch this YouTube. Jamie, what is it? What is it?


It's on the Hollywood Reporter's website. I don't know why it's there. Probably.


So what is the title of the actual Rob Lowe bombs that title like that disastrous open.


I don't want Rob Lowe and Snow White's disastrous Oscar opening February 20th.


That's actually the title for the people. It literally says disastrous.


OK, folks at home, Google this, watch it. And then we're going to pick this up after Robin.


I watch this. Lily Tomlin at the end now, that's the truncated version. Yeah, they don't give you much of it, but can I tell you something?


We're but I I that was the year that Barry Levinson, I could tell just from the first bar, was going to be bad. Yeah. When you're singing, did you take singing lessons?


Now, the whole thing was 11 minutes long.


No, it's 11 minutes of sheer terror. It's on YouTube, if you will. OK, I have 11 minutes that ruined Hollywood producer Alan Carr's career forever. Hold on. We'll be right back.


He's a great guy.


Hang on. Hang on, folks. I need I need this. First of all, look at people in the audience. They're not happy. They don't like this. Look. Look at the reaction.


Oh, OK. OK, I get it. I get it.


OK, so I look out in the middle, I look out in the middle and I see Barry Levinson.


So he's at this and this Oscars. He's about to win literally eleven Academy Awards as an actor. There's no one you would want to impress more than Barry Levinson. It's the year of Rain Man. And I look out, Joe, in the middle of this and I see his face. I'm not kidding. And he's this is what he literally was going Amalia's.


What the fuck you see him actually make? I see him mouthed the words, what the fuck?


And and so double bombing. And I'm like, but, you know, we have to have our our our actors denial.


Like, we can't get through a career without a healthy dose of denial. So I'm like, you know what? Fuck Barry Levinson.


What does he know anyway? Fuck that guy. And I go backstage and it's in the green room and it's early because it's early in the show and there is an older lady in the corner with, like, flaming red hair.


And I'm kind of looking at her and and she sees me.


She says, Young man, I didn't know you were such a good singer. Come sit down. It was Lucille Ball. Whoa. And I went over and we sat down and she held my hand and we watched the Oscars together. And you know what?


It made it all made it all almost worthwhile almost.


Here's why. That's not as bad as bombing doing stand up. How is that not as bad as bad? Because even though a billion people watched it, a you didn't write it and B, you knew where you were going, you could just sing the stupid song and get it over with.


It's terrible. It's bombing, it's bad. But when you're bombing doing stand up, you are the writer. You are the creator, you are the performer.


Put it together. You edited it, you prepared it, you got it ready. And then you're just up there eating shit.


And people are angry at you. They're angry.


They're angry because they can they were angry. I'm sure they were angry.


Here's the other thing they did that they it never occurred to the academy to maybe maybe that they needed to license the likeness of Snow White. What? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, yeah.


So and you know how Disney is about likenesses. Oh, they're so easy going.


Yeah. They're so they're so generous, so generous.


So that I would have thought I would have I think I would have gotten away with it a little bit in terms of history had there not been massive lawsuits the next day over the likeness thing, which may then people thought about when people went back on, wait a minute, that fucking sucked way worse than I thought it did.


What was the next thing you did after that?


I think the see. Would it have been. I feel like it might have been bad influence with Kurt, with James Spader, one of my favorite movies. That's a great movie. Well, that's that's a good way to bounce back. That was good. Let's look at the bright side. Yeah.


Now, listen, and and it is a did you consider saying no, no.


I'm a people pleasing Midwesterner at 24. Right.


Does not say no to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. They don't.


And every year, every year I am treated to the honor, high honor of being on the list of most embarrassing Oscar moments every fucking year. And my thing is, this is I go, hey, wait, guys, you couldn't figure out how to announce the best picture two years ago. And I'm the problem still.


Well, it wasn't your fault.


I mean, no one would have saved that. No one no one not in a fucking human being could have jumped up there and saying that. And had it made any sense, maybe Jim Carrey, maybe.


Yes, maybe Jim Jim Carrey could have done it, but he would have gone full Ace Ventura over the top and people would have been just laughing hysterically at how crazy he is.


It's it's one of my great career. Low Lights highlights it actually. It actually kind of makes me laugh with with with the onset of perspective in history.


That's the beautiful thing about failures. They eventually become funny and they can. Yes, back at them. It only took 30 years.


It's great. Like there's some movies, man, that are terrible, terrible movies, but they're really funny to revisit. Right.


Like Showgirls and things along those lines. Oh, sure.


I'm a big showgirls. I took a great movie. I think they might have offered me Showgirls.


I think they might offer me the comic con McGlaughlin Asani. Really? Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure you had sex with Elizabeth Berkley in the water.


A crazy scene where she's spazzing out, always having sex with her.


Do you remember that? She spazzing. Oh my God. It's one of the craziest scenes ever. It didn't make any sense. They were actually spazzing. It doesn't make any sense.


It's like they were on Coke when they were doing the movie, writing the movie, performing the movie. And they just their connection with what's realistic or even entertaining or or even possible doesn't make any sense.


Like if you were having sex with a woman and she was flailing around like that and you kept going, you'd be a criminal. Like she's having a seizure, epileptic fit. She they were in a pool.


And for whatever reason, she starts flopping.


I mean, like, they're they're making out. He's got his arm around her and she's throwing her body, like, slapping it against the water in this.


Like insane like who? I just want to know, like who was filming that and was like, cut.


We got it. We fucking we got you got that one. Oh we got it.


Just you could hear the the fucking jackhammer heart rate of everyone filming it because they're all coked up.


Have you seen that scene. I find the non porn side.


No, we want to host it so we can watch it. I think that's doesn't have the porn sites. Just why is she topless in it? Is that what it is? I probably don't even remember the topless part. Just so ridiculous.


They I mean, there no, really, there's no nudity in movies anymore. But in the 80s you had like that was I had to page 73 rule. Because that's always the page the nude seeds were on, there were always on page 73 because that's the middle of the cities. So they're making out. Yeah, he's porn. Oh, there you go. Naked, not on YouTube stuff.


Yeah. Ex videos. So they start fooling around and she gets on top of them and then once they start doing it, she starts flailing. I mean, I mean, she like you see it here.


She is normal. This looks almost normal, almost crazy.


But then she gets really spastic and she starts throwing herself on the fucking water. Look at this of this. Come on, man. What's happening?


What is that?


Is that for real? Yes, it is for real. That was in the movie.


And I mean and people have to remember, she's the sweetheart from Saved by the Bell. Right. And this was going to be her her break from Saved by the Bell, this beautiful girl.


And he's the guy from wow fucking I had Blue Velvet. I had forgotten. But can you imagine making that movie today? No. Yeah. Now, page 73, because it's the middle of Act two, and any writer out there knows that the middle of the second act is the Sahara of creativity.


That's like that's when you're you're like alone with your thoughts and you're like, fuck, we got to get to the end and someone's got to get naked if someone's got to get naked. And usually it would have been me.


How many times did you show your butt in the movie? Too many. How many? If you get to guess it was the 80s.


We did what we did. It was my job.


This was 90s. That movie was like right at the end. I was in Hollywood.


I was living here. So I moved here in four. So that was that had to be like ninety five, right. Ninety seven. Oh, there you go.


This is also the era where Coke was openly sold on sets. Really. Oh yeah. Wow. Sure. Wow. It was either the camera department or the prop department makes more sense to be the prop department and their job is to go get it for you, right? Yeah. They just, you know, when when we did outsiders, we were kids, you know, Cruz and me and Matt Dillon and all because we all everybody were we were young.


I was 17, what, 17, turning 18 and C.. Thomas Howell, who played Pony Boy, the lead in the movie was 15.


And when we would finish shooting, we'd get in the vans to get driven back to the hotel and there would be as much beer as you wanted these five times as much as you wanted.


And that's a studio movie.


You guys look for you. Can you can you pull that photo up to see our feet? Is that possible? Because that. There it is. It's down there. OK, look at look at Swazi. He's standing on bricks whose feet he wanted to be taller than that great Swazis standing on bricks in the back of that.


Oh, that's all right. Great fear is. It's my favorite things being in a Swazi roadhouse. That's another horrible movie. That's amazing. But people. Yeah, people love that movie.


Oh, it's great. It's fucking great. It's great. He's a bouncer. Yeah. Yeah.


He's the baddest bouncer. And that's part of the things like I thought you were going to be bigger.


Remember that? That's like one of the lines of the movie because he's a legendary bouncer that they bring in to fix really bad honkytonks. The problems at the door. Yeah, it's an it's a pandemic. Even the people trying to get in the neck grab something that can pull their throat out in the movie.


I mean, it's so good. Pain don't hurt. That's actually a line in the movie Pain don't hurt. Those eighties lines are so, so good.


That's such a great one because he's so beautiful, such a beautiful.


Kwesi was an Adonis. He was an Adonis. He would just he tried to get us to put that god-forsaken song. She's like the wind in Youngblood.


We're like we're like, oh, there it is. He pulls a guy's throat and then he hits him with the worst spinning back kick ever in the butt.




He pulls his throat out and look at this place like it's so bad. That's such a bad kick.


You probably Blues ACOR doing that. It's so stupid.


He was the best man did he. Was he might be the most intense guy I've ever worked with. Really. Yeah. He'd be up all night writing and like doing body weight push ups with his feet up against a wall all night long and really and then show up at the set.


Having not slept and wanting you to hear his new demo, he was like, oh, what is great, that's great.


But no, I remember. I remember she's like the wind. And I was like, I don't know how that fits in. We're making a hockey movie that fits in the hockey movie. Well, I didn't want that in there.


And then, sure enough, what's Dirty Dancing comes out and that movie's in it and goes to no one.


Oh, well, yeah, but that movie. OK, that was a good movie. Dirty Dancing.


Yeah. It's a great movie. That was a great movie. Ghost is his big best movie. Yeah. Ghost is a great movie.


That's a great movie. Great movie. He did a point break was a great movie. Great movie. He did some great movies. Yeah.


He's Johnny was in was in Yangebup but I thought he was French. I thought he was a French Canadian goalie.


Really. I didn't know he was an actor. I thought, I literally thought he was.


We hired this amazing French Canadian goalie. I can't believe how young you guys were. I know that's so crazy that they were given you booze. Look at his face.


It's exactly the same as it is now as John Wick.


It's just that's just fucking weird to play it so. How great is John Wick? We love those movies, right? Love those movies of them. I love those movies.


What's the all the crazy gun training like that tactical. I go there. It's it's badass. I want to go. I do bring you. I would love to do. OK, let's go. I go there all the time. Really. Yeah. Go there like once a week. Really. Yeah. Yeah. Oh I'm in. Yeah it's it's, it's.


Well it's good to learn how to shoot a gun properly if you're going to own guns. But I mean Taryn he's the best guy I shoot regularly.


But I, you know, you can't do any of that tactical stuff unless you're on tactical range.




So and you really want to do it with someone like Tarran actually show you how to do it really correctly. Yeah.


So I mean, I'm on the range all the time, but I'm never that it's very, very I'd love to get the tactical. That's the great thing about here's the thing that I learned about guns.


It was hilarious is that when I was learning how to shoot properly, I was shooting like an actor because you have to supply the kick.


Oh, right. Because it's a. Right. Right.


So all my experience with guns is playing guys who have guns, blanks I would kick.


But it's not like a real Guzzo like you want to make it look good in the movies, you want to give it that, that little thing. So I would get out of the range and I would be doing all my acting.


Should be like getting in a fight and purposely missing you by three inches. I know what a movie fight. Right, right, right.


Like I fight you but I'd miss you on purpose. It's the same, the same with with weapons training.


Oh yeah. Well you have to get that out of your system. But he would get a quick.


Kind of goes there, is there all the time? I mean, you'd have to I would think if you're John Wick, you better stay Fassl. Yes, well, that's where he learned. Yeah.


Yes, he does. They're on YouTube, this famous videos where the timer. Yeah, yeah. And you got to get through all of the. Mm hmm.


I mean. Oh, look at him.


Look at him. Look at him. Look at him. There it is. Dude, he's such a badass.


He's a beast man. He's really good at that. Look at him. I have an entire section in my phone that just says guns, look at him, oh, that shoulder hurts that shotgun.


It doesn't sound that bad.


Something about at all. About that tactical one they have, oh, boy, he's shooting dummies from like two inches away. Who is that Laura Croft behind him? No, there's a bunch of really hot girls that Taryn has that he teaches, it's really that's how she got behind. That's Halle Berry, bro.


She's. What's that, Jamie? It's a new one, I just clicked on a different yeah, because she's in I just sent you one because she's in John Wick. Two or three.


She's in three and four is two. The best one I like one one's my favorite. Yeah. Because first of all, I don't I love three, but there's no muscle cars. Chad. Hey, Chad. Put the fucking muscle cars back in this. Exactly.


It's fun to see, so he teaches you how to do it, it teaches you a correct form and all the look at this. Yeah, it's fun. Me and my buddy Tom SIGIR, we go there all the time. I'm Deliman. It's fun. It's fun to learn.


And it's, you know, it's it's valuable education in the fact that he's right here, that he's in in California.


It's amazing. And you can shoot rifles there.


And he's got ranges for long range stuff, all kinds of stuff.


They're all that anything active man. I mean, like, I'm the guy that always says yes to everything.


That's why the Oscars, I'll say it's like like my my default answer is yes. But it's also, by the way, why I think that I've managed to navigate so many changing currents in the industry because because I don't get stuck right in one place. Like when I when I when I went on the West Wing like that, it's hard to think now. But in those days, TV was still considered like a lesser medium. Really was really. Oh yeah, that's right.


Yeah. People would get upset with TV. Yeah. I don't do TV. Yeah. All that stuff.


Yeah. I remember gradated said that to me when I was a TV show. It's like I want to do film.


I mean it was a real thing, it was a real perception. And now it's, it's, you know, obviously everybody wants to do it but.


Well now it's Netflix is actually better than film because now you could be on a show like Ozark where it's just great.


FOXX So but it's like a film every week and it's concurrently keeps going and Jassam stuff now. He's so good. He's such a stud.


He's so good as an actor, but he's so good as a writer, a director like everything that show is so goddamn good.


I knew him when he was on Little House on the Prairie. Oh, Jesus.


I forgot about that. Oh, my God. He was on that little house on the prairie. He's so good. He's just goes to show you. You never know. No, you never know. You don't know. No, you never do you never. I mean, we humans are versatile, right?


Like just because someone does want you know, like there's so many people that you think like, oh, that guys are this.


And then he winds up being this amazing musician.


You like how what like.


Well, humans are versatile, you know, and it takes people sometimes to even within their. Lane, it takes them sometimes a while to find what they're like really, really special, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, he's really, really special that a guy for me as I've tried to look at him.




Look at how cute that's him. Look at that little button. Look at him. Could he be any cuter. Couldn't still got the same hair. Basically does. Man, you're talking about a guy who's been around a long fucking time. Yeah, he knows what's what. He knows the lay of the land anyway. Fucking Michael Landon, come on. Yeah. Was Michael Landon, Aquaman, Patrick Duffy, Patrick Duffy was a man from Atlantis, man from Atlantis.


I saw the first thing I did the first time I ever saw something being filmed in California.


I had just come out from Ohio, it was 1976, whoa, and traffic was all blocked off at the Malibu Pier and it got out of my way and I saw the lights.


It was in the data. It was it was so long ago, they still had lights for daytime shooting and they were about to do a stunt where Patrick Duffy is. The man from Atlantis was going to jump off the Malibu pier. And I was so fucking excited.


I used to try to swim like him because remember the man from swimming like a porpoise.


Some like a purpose. And my favorite thing was what made him from Atlantis was this part of his body had a web.


Yes, this is it right here. I was all I had and couldn't breathe underwater. He could breathe underwater.


But this made. That was all they can afford with the special effects webbing between his thumb and forefinger. I was I'm so into it. I'm on a big Atlanta sky. Are you really? Oh, yeah. Fuck, I love it. I'm trying to figure out where it was.


Do you think they found it? They think they've found something that represents exactly what the depictions of Atlantis were like. These these rings, concentric rings, they think that there's some place.


Oh, God. I want to say, like I want to say off Spain off the coast of Spain.


But isn't isn't our guy Graham saying the basically Atlantis was the the pre-existing civilization and it was not an island or one place. It was all of it.


Yeah. Yeah. That's what they think. But, you know, it's all speculation.


But whatever it was, you know, there's there's so many different versions of that, so many different versions of this, like spectacular sea port civilization that was destroyed in the flood, like the flood of the Bible, like Noah's Ark.


There's also there's an ancient story called the Epic of Gilgamesh. Yes, of course. And that in that story is a very similar story about a flood. And this is one of the things that Graham Hancock points to, that there's all these civilizations that talk about but had no no interaction with each other in theory.


And yet they all have the same oral histories. I did a show with my boys called The Low Files, and it's it was basically it was an excuse for my boys and I to run around in a souped up raptor around the country and explore urban legends. Oh, wow. And and it was it was Anthony Bourdain meets Scooby Doo.


It was a fucking dream come true. That sounds awesome. Is a dream come true. What network was this for A&E?


They were great that they let us do it, but it couldn't have been a worse fit when they put us with ancient aliens for one night.


We blew the roof off the place really.


And we got to look for that would ape. We got to look for Bigfoot.


We did Poltergeist Halophiles files.


See if you can find the opening credits for for for the low files.


It's one of my proudest moment. What year is this, like four years ago.


Let's see if they give you some volume on this.


So what you look for is in blue.


Wait, Joe. Joe didn't see my image the very, very end. My homage to Hawaii five.


Oh, it's a very last thirty seconds of the clip. You have to see it because I'm sure you remember this great shot from Jack Lord's credits. OK, then if 050 it's it's right at the end. Give me right here, right here comes. You remember that shot? Yes, I do. I did, I did. Yes, that's hilarious. I know I did. I designed that whole credit sequence.


I got the song. I did the whole the whole. That's just one of my favorite things I've done.


Blue Oyster Cult. Don't fear the Reaper. That's best. It's a great fucking song. So what are the subjects you went for? Bigfoot.


We did Bigfoot twice. We did Bigfoot up in in Northern California, in Walnut Creek. Patterson Giblin film shot.


We did that. Turns out the wood ape of Arkansas. Oklahoma is the most active place. And that was where we really where we had some really radical experiences, where I heard stuff and you heard. Oh yeah. I heard like lip popping like in the chest beating really well.


Do you really think it was real? I heard chest beating, you know, made a great fucking Bigfoot movie. Bobcat Goldthwait. What? Yup.


He made a great Bigfoot movie called Scary Bigfoot Movie was accordion, you remember.


Willow Creek. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you remember ever seeing my mother, my mom look at what he did it like Blair Witch style. I'm writing that down. I love that. It's fucking good, man.


We had we had a great time. And it's all we want with all these guys who are like real legit people. They're like regular people. And they spend their time out in the woods and they know how many are out there. And it was crazy. Matthew, my youngest son to the thermal imaging, saw him hiding, like doing the thing was really big for Israel.


I don't know. I mean, here's a guy like I like the slogan for the low files was it's more fun to believe.


It definitely is more fun to believe. And that's really where I come down on. It's like I don't have a dog in the fight, but it's way more fucking fun for sure.


Way more fun. I want it to be I want Bigfoot to be real. I've always wanted to be real mom. The problem is the people looking at it also want it to be real.


I guess they're trying so hard. They see shadows. They think that Bigfoot. There's some interesting things. There's some interesting things in terms of like dermal ridges they found on footprints.


And there's also there's a lot of hair samples. And should they come back and they don't know where what they got a problem? Not really. Really?


Yeah, I looked into that. Oh, tell me. I did. I did a show called Joe Rogan questions everything for sci fi. And me and my buddy Duncan went up to the Pacific Northwest and we did we brought stuff to real biologists and we actually had samples analyzed. They're all bare. And and then when when they say that there's some human or primate primate DNA, it's always contaminated. It's like the chain of custody between the actual piece of hair.


And getting it to the lab is always contentious, right? Yeah. There's no one just stops. It's next to their granola bars and their backpacks. Yeah.


If you touch something, you get your sweat on and it could show up as human DNA or animal DNA mixed with human DNA. It's the problem is the people that are into it, the real the real problem is they want to believe so fucking bad that they just have this crazy confirmation bias. And yeah, they only look at the good things are.


My favorite episodes of the low files are the ones where we didn't find shit. They were my favorite because that's fun because it's just a dad and two idiot kids, you know, having a blast.


The thing about Bigfoot that's interesting is Native Americans had more than a hundred different names for that animal. Yes. And they don't have names for other mythical creatures.


And then on top of that, there was an actual animal called the giganto Pythagoras, and it was a huge ape ape like creature that stood on two legs and walked upright and was probably some sort of looked like orangutang like it probably looked exactly like what we think of as Bigfoot.


It was an actual real animal I've ever seen the images I have.


And I it's funny, the deep connection between Native Americans and that legend is really, really profound, like I have had in India in one of the episodes that we did. We talk with with the some of the elders and they will say no one reached through the window and touched my chest. And like, it's like you like this guy is not crazy.


It's not a I'm not talking to a crazy person. Right.


But they also have peyote like Native Americans of other shit would let you see Bigfoot. Maybe that's that's the thing. Like you only see big Bigfoot is real, but he's interdimensional.


You only see him when you're on drugs.


That could happen. That absolutely could be real.


Like if you get on the right psychedelics, you'll meet it. Well, it's funny, you know, as a sober guy, there's part of me that wishes because I like I like mushrooms, but only like once or twice a year because it's so fucking funny.


You get like you said, you get all that stuff going.


Yeah, but I did them last week. Part of how it was. Did you laugh a lot? Because all I did was post Malone and I did a podcast.


We did mushrooms. Oh my God. We got a good ole time.


But how how long how long were you tripping? Well, the podcast is four hours long and we were drinking too.


So it was like just madness. It was all just like mushrooms. I could feel the mushrooms and I was getting high too. He wasn't smoking pot, but we were drinking bud lights and it was a lot of chaos.


This is like exactly what my eighties were like. But but I, I think about people go and do ayahuasca and do those that really appeals to me.


That's different in that, you know, you could call it a drug, but it's DMT, which is what ayahuasca brings up. Right? That's what it's the active ingredient. You're still you you're not drunk. That's what's weird about it.


I don't know what it is, but if you wanted to get real, woo woo, you would call it some sort of a chemical gateway into another dimension or to another realm that you can't access without it.


It doesn't seem like a drug, but how is it not any different than I got stoned and I saw crazy shit?


Well, first of all, it's in dodginess, right? So your brain actually has this chemical inside of it. It's one of the more interesting things about this drugs that your body knows how to process it so well. Like if you do coke, right. I'm sure you're coked up for a long time, right? Your body's all fucked up for a long time, dimethyltryptamine only last like 15 minutes. But yeah, your body recognizes what it is.


It brings you back to baseline very, very quickly.


So if you do this. Yeah, it's a 15 minute experience. Yeah. The Ayahuasca takes longer because ayahuasca is an orally active version of it. So what ayahuasca is, is the roots of one plant and the leaves of the other. So you have DMT in one plant and then the other plant you have something called an MMO inhibitor now is monoamine oxidase and that's produced by your gut to break down dimethyltryptamine and a bunch of other chemicals. But it breaks down dimethyltryptamine because dimethyltryptamine is in a bunch of different plants.


So you you could trip just eating Volaris grass if you didn't have monoamine oxidase in your gut. So when you eat this, if you ate the grass, nothing would happen because your body would break it down. But if you had an MMO inhibitor, then you would trip balls.


Well, and then the other thing that people talk about is like I vomited for five hours.


Yeah, that's the problem with ayahuasca. You're going to blow your asshole out. You're going to diarrhea, throw up its disgusting stuff.


You know, why don't we do that? It's also because you're getting the plant, you're getting all the stuff that's, you know, not the active ingredient from these roots and these leaves, too.


And then also in your body's freaking out. What did you have?


Have you ever had any awakening or vision or. I've had a lot of visions on dimethyltryptamine. Yeah. It's anything that you could that you once you got once you were done tripping, that didn't seem like the ramblings of a mad man.


Or was it something you were like, oh, wow, I had a I had a revelation.


It's hard to say. They all seem impossible to describe to anybody else other than people that have experienced it.


But what it does make you realize is that the thing that I always felt when I came back is like, how is this possible that you could go to a place like this or you could see something that's way more vivid and way more powerful than regular life?


Like whatever it is, it's not it's it's not like it's dull and confusing and you feel drugged and you feel less, you know, you feel more, you see more.


It's more vibrant, it's more powerful. And whatever is over there seems to know you.


It seems to understand it seems to be your communicating with something, something that's far more intelligent than you, far more advanced and not hindered by all of the things that we're hindered by, like our egos and our are nonsense and our insecurities and our civilization and culture.


It's like it's it's some sort of other kind of consciousness, you know?


And it's they they joke about things. They they make fun of you. Like one time I did it. And all these gestures like this, like a geometric pattern of gestures, like a fractal, like infinite gestures were giving me the finger like this fucking like mocking me.


And the message that I got was that I was taking myself too seriously, like maybe even like, wow, Mike, my intentions going into the trip, I was taking myself too seriously.


And I remember relaxing on OK, and and they're like, that's right. Like they're nodding their head like. Yes. Like it was a message like, hey, stupid, you know, you take yourself too seriously. Fuck you, fuck you. I like gestures like with a hat and everything.


So in your life now, like let's say you are stressing out about something as very seriously.


You do the fractal just gestures.


Do you remember them and go, oh yeah, they had this very, very but you know, I mean like, like you bring something back that you can you practically using your your this dimension this time humility.


There's a there's a humility that comes from real psychedelic experiences that you just because you know that they are possible, it's makes you it makes you second guess the significance of regular existence because it seems like the whatever that like that might be where you go when you die.


OK, I was waiting for the guy. I was waiting for the moment. I was waiting for the moment. So I don't know if that's what it is. Here's I because I don't do drugs, but I've been meditating a bunch. And that's one of the things that people have been telling me for years to do.


All the people that I admire in meditation is a part of their lives.


And I've every time I do it, I just go to sleep or I start thinking about shit that I can't control. But I've recently started doing it. It's really been amazing and I've definitely noticed some changes and it's also affected the quality of my dreams. Oh, and I. You're familiar with vivid dreaming. Sure. Right. So it'd be lucid, this dreaming the dream.


So I've had a number of them, and I had I had done some meditating on. And I don't mean to overstate it, like, what is it all about, right? Sure, everybody wants to write it sounds cliche. And so I did that. And then I had a I had a lucid dream that night and then a lucid dream.


I went to that place and it was it looked like it looked like Avatar, you know, like the James Cam, like it was or Fern Gully. It was like or like like Hawaii with the waterfalls and rainbows.


And and I was flying, but I was me, but I wasn't me. I had no I didn't have a body, but I could think and it was it was I was definitely me and the surroundings were so and the feeling was so full of euphoria and love like like I started like weep sobbing of happiness. Oh. And then then all of a sudden the voice. Oh but what about my family. I'm here now and they're not here yet because it was it was sort of the theory was that I had gone to heaven or whatever the fuck it was.


And here's the freaky part is I really you know, they're already there because time is not linear. So here's my take away from this dream, my ramblings of a madman where we're already there.


Well, your brain does produce psychedelic chemicals while you're sleeping. That's one of the things about DMT that's so closely related to dreams is that it's really hard to remember after it's over, but so vivid when it's happening this hour.


Remembered like and I remember it now, like I like I witnessed. And that's what made it different and special.


Maybe the improvement in the way your brain was working because of the meditation that you had gotten yourself into a state where you could access it. But I think and I physically asked for it before I went to bed. Oh, no, I actively I actively. Have you done it again? Since I have. And I haven't had I've had smaller, fleeting versions of of this. But this is like being starring in a movie. It was like was happening.


I think James Cameron nailed something in that Avatar film that resonates with people in a very strange way, not just that it was an awesome movie and it was a fucking awesome movie, but that he he he nailed something that made people want to live like that.


You know, there was a thing they were talking about after that movie called Avatar Depression, where people were leaving the film and they were depressed, that their life was nothing like Avatar, like Pandora, like living like the novel. That's it. Yeah. There was something about what he nailed. He nailed something in that movie was like this spiritual connection. It was very ayahuasca like to this this connection to Mother Earth and the nature and and spirits and the connection of all of them.


It was there's something about that film. He he he hit some nerve with people I've never heard of another film generating depression that, you know, there's no Star Wars depression at least, or when you see some of the ones that have recently come out.


Yeah, that's depressing.


And that's what happens when the executives get a hold of us.


You've got to go to Cuba and grab the people and put them in the boats. Right. And then they listen. That's right.


That's exactly right. That's exactly what happened.


But you know, James Cameron, such a force of nature, you can't really do that to him. He figured something out in those movies. He figured out how to tap into some sort of elemental area of the psyche that people it just resonated with people like sort of the same way. I think, you know, people that talk about folks that live like a subsistence life, you know, people that have gone to the woods and they just live off the land.


They talk about this like deep connection to nature that they get from that and how it makes them feel fulfilled, don't feel depressed. They feel very engaged. And, you know, there's a guy named Hymel, he lives in the Arctic and Vice did this whole series on him called the hindmost Arctic Adventure. And one of the things that he was saying as he came out there, like in the 1970s, to work for the forestry department, they just live there for the rest of his life.


He's up there right now with his family, like he's married to this indigenous woman. And they live off the land, eats caribou and fish. And his whole life is like hunting and gathering. But he's like, this is how people are supposed to. And he's a very intelligent man, very articulate. So when you hear him talk, he's not some weirdo that lives in the woods. He's a guy who recognizes like there's something about this that resonates with humans.


This life is like being in you're you're connected in the way that you're supposed to be. And he thinks that what we've done by creating cities and electricity and electronics and, you know, social media and all the bullshit that we deal with today, that we've disconnected ourselves from the things that that really make us human. And that, I believe, is his his life is more connected to it. But there's even a deeper connection. And that's how the Navy lived.


And, you know. If you read about there's there's many stories about Native Americans where they would especially the Comanche would kidnap people, they would kidnap like young children, they all that great book which won under the Harvest Moon.


Oh, OK. Yeah. Do yourself a favor.


Well well, empire of the summer that I'm talking about, that's the one story. Oh OK. The same one. Yeah. About Yeah. Cynthia Ann Parker. Yeah. Yes. Do you want to finish a photo of her out there in the lobby. That's who that is. Cynthia.


I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. That Quanah Parker. That's her son. That guy over there on the one that's made out of bullets.


That's one of my favorite books ever. Fucking amazing. Amazing. It's amazing.


And that's one of the things that they said was that she did not want to go back to Western civilization. She's like, you guys live like idiots. Like, this is a bullshit way to live.


There's something about that movie that tapped into that but also tapped into this like spiritual realm that exists in psychedelics. Cameron fucking nailed it, man. He now and a lot of people like, oh, they had him on.


No, no, he's he's the first he's the most humble. I've never worked with him. But my my dear, dear, dear, dear friend who passed away a few years ago, Bill Paxton, I love that guy.


He's the best one of my best. He was one of my best friends. And he's he and Jim were in Roger Corman's production mill together.


They were both like stand by painters. So he's been in every Jim Cameron movie ever, ever made. And he introduced me to Jim. And there was a minute where I was going to play at the Billy Zane part in Titanic. And the Jim is he's like, there's no one like him.


There's literally the fucking guy went to the bottom of the ocean. So Bill and he went to these bills, a god damn Jim's. Take me down to the Titanic.


I'm going next Thursday. And and they went down to the Titanic.


They had lunch on the deck of the fucking Titanic.


What? Yeah. Oh, my God. Then Bill came up and everybody was like ashen faced and freaking out.


And 9/11, it happened. Well, Bill Paxon was on the deck of the Titanic when 9/11, how Hollywood, Jim Cameron, is that crazy? Oh, my God. That's insane, insane. That's insane, but I'm dying to see this new Avatar movies. I know one of those supposed to happen. I mean, everyone's all fucked up now because it covid, right?


Yeah, I heard they keep getting pushed and pushed and and pushed. But, you know, he's bet the farm on them. I mean, he's the one guy he's the guy like they're very few people that could get me to go to a movie theater anymore.


Yeah. I'd do anything for that guy's movie.


Maybe Chris Nolan, maybe the first one.


But for sure, James Cameron Bill Paxton was in one of the most underrated vampire movies of all time. Yeah, after dark. After Dark. I remember. That is great. Now, that's a movie that people don't they don't remember that that was a fucking great vampire movie.


He's a budget one billion.


Oh, I mean, only James Cameron.


That's for three. But that's for three movies. Is it. But still, by the way, to make a billion dollars within six months, the first first day and maybe even streaming, it might make a billion dollars like even even if it came out today.


Best deal in the world. Yeah.


I love I hate to say this because I love movies and I do love going to the movie theater, but the fucking consequences of going to the movie theater, of dealing with people like people that are texting or talking to it, that's what drove me out of the movie theaters was the glow of people's phones.


When that started, I was out well, people talking to so annoying. But when people are not annoying, like, you know, the nine out of ten times, it's fucking amazing because you feel the energy of all the other people, especially in comedy.


Like I remember, I went to see Team America, World Police. Oh my God.


With me, my my friend Eddie Bravo and a bunch of other friends, we were baked out of our fucking mind and we went to see that in a crowded theater. We were we were dying and everyone was dying. There was so many people laughing. It was like the end.


It was like being in a comedy club, the the energy of all the other people in the film Borat and the theater Borat was the last one was like that, where the minute the credits started with the music in it, I was it was one of my favorite team America.


Oh, my God. Yeah. Those guys the guys are national treasures. They're national treasures. Yeah.


They're still they're one of the one groups of people that can avoid cancel culture because their creations are these things that aren't even people. These like weird little cartoons. You can kill them. They can they can say outrageous shit. They can do everything they want, like it's like the perfect vehicle for mocking culture.


You've seen that great YouTube clip are there in the recording studio there in the recording booth.


Yes. Yes. And they're doing that what it's called like six days or something.


Like it's so good. It's I've never met them.


It's five years later.


They're like some of what I love is having people still at this point in my life that I'm a huge fan of, that I haven't met because and then I hope my better that way.


Keep them. Well, you know what?


It's really like that for me as people I don't like, because as a sports fan, you got to have villains. Right? So, like, I remember not wanting to meet Larry Bird because I'm a Lakers fan and I don't. And I never wanted to be really who I really didn't want to meet with Danny Ainge. Um, and of course, I met him and he was fucking awesome.


And I fuck like, who am I going to hate now as a comic, it's a real problem because if you meet someone, you really like them.


You can't make fun of them anymore. I got mad Jenny McCarthy once and she was so nice I had to cut her out of my act.


Oh no, I had a bit about her where they said she was going to take her breast implants out. And I said that's like Tiger Woods chopping his fucking arms off. I go, put them back in and make them bigger and no talking.


And it was so mean. But then I met her. She was so nice, so friendly.


That great story Spayd tells about. He did that and he used to do the Hollywood minute on Weekend Update.


It was the meanest, funniest thing. We'd make fun of celebrities. And at one point we all have downtimes. And it's an honor to have a fallow time in your career because it means you've been around. Yeah, sure. Yeah. And Eddie Murphy had been in a fallow time and and Spade in the middle of it. They had Eddie Murphy's picture come up on the screen. He went, oh, look, kids, a falling star.


And within five minutes, the phone was ringing a studio 8h and it was Eddie, oh, my God. Oh, my God.


Yeah, I mean, I'm telling a story only because Spayd publicly tells it and it's amazing.


But like with Eddie Murphy to say to him, he was he went fucking nuts with Spade.


A spade tells a great story of like trying to avoid the call, like running and ducking from speed is like a tiny little will of the wisp.


He's so small, right. Yeah. You got the thing is like, you know. Yeah. You got it's good to keep some people at a distance so you can continue to root against them. Let's face it.


Yeah, well, my friend Bill Burr was talking about that the other day. He was on his podcast. He does with Bert Krischer. And they were they were talking about meeting a president who was I don't want me to present Neales. Why? Because then he can't make fun of them and was talking about his bit about Michelle Obama. And he has this amazing bit about Michelle Obama. And, you know, and he's like, if I met her, I couldn't do that.


But yeah, she's right. You could feel bad. Feel like I'm throwing her under the bus. She's a nice lady.


So I stopped doing minute. You just couldn't do it anymore. And it was like a big, big deal. Big, big franchise of Weekend Update.


Yeah. Yeah, that's part of the problem. But it's you know, it is.


It is what it is. What are you going to do. Yeah. I can't make fun of people I love. It's hard. That's why I came on the show.


I wanted to make sure that if the day ever came, you'd think twice about going, you know, who's a fucking idiot right now? Have you ever seen his fucking retarded goddamn opening number for the Oscars?


He might get in trouble right now for saying retard. I know Maria Shriver is one of my best friends who runs the Best Buddies program.


I'm a I'm a sports one of the original people. Best buddies. I know. I can't say. Yeah, but here's the thing. We can never say that word, but the word does not mean someone who has a chromosomal disorder. It doesn't. It means someone who's an idiot. That's what it means.


It doesn't mean that like if you said that about someone who has Down syndrome, you'd be a terrible, terrible person. But if you say that about someone who believes the earth is flat, you're right. Yes. Yeah. The retarded, it's we have a real problem with banning certain words. Like they mean a lot of different things. There's nuance to the human language and you demonize words that are really effective. You know what you're going to get you're going to get a lot of people acting retarded because there's no word for it anymore.


That's right.


And also, somebody was telling me that were with emoji culture and text culture that are that are language or language changed forever for sure, because now no one cares about punctuation. I mean, it's just true now.


No one cares. It's not. Look down upon it. It is it isn't a sign of lack of education anymore. It has no pejorative attached to it. And I was sort of bemoaning that. And somebody said, no, no, no. The point of language is for it to become to it, for it to evolve and to become for lack of a better better.


And what if you read the letters from the Civil War, right.


Those great, like, flowery, beautiful that like the most, you know, like a private in the army would write right now. Today, the private the army is sending a three second text, but that's progress because it's actually requires less time. You get the same information. And it's you haven't had to go through the time and effort of the other, at least that was the theory that some of this made me feel better about it.


I don't know that there is correct. That's like saying that people who read texts all day and they read tweets and bullshit nonsense on social media, that's better than reading books because I don't think it's true. But it's probably not.


It's just easier. It's probably not. I'm just trying to feel better about our culture today. I'm I'm hopeful about the culture today.


But there's more challenges. There's more and more information, more things. So there's more challenges. But I don't think that's necessarily bad. It's just you're going to you're still have brilliant people. You're just going to have it's easier to be a moron today and survive. You know, back in the civil war days, you know, if you were writing a letter back home, I mean, I wonder what education was like back then to write.


I mean, it was probably it couldn't have been great. Yeah, no, it couldn't have been.


But you know, that that famous letter of Sullivan Ballou that ends the the first episode of of of Ken Burns documentary The Civil War that's famous. And they put that beautiful song underneath it.


It's like, I know it's crazy to read the way they wrote. Oh, so flowery. Yeah.


So eloquent, so eloquent, so moving. And it was like a piece of art and and that was just a regular dude. Right. And home to his wife.




If someone wrote like that home to their wife, their friends would read and go, I think your husband's name was the name Sullivan Ballou wasn't.


What is some of that into musicals or Bye Bye Birdie fan. What's his thing. Nothing wrong with it. No, no judgment.


It's yeah it's I think it's just more challenges today because there's, there is more information coming in. You can get lost and junk food information, you know, you can get lost.


And what's your current like YouTube wormhole you're into?


Because that's all I do at night. It's like people people wonder why viewership is down.


And listen, you know, I'm in the TV business. I should be watching TV. I watch TV, I go to YouTube and I go down the whatever wormhole I'm interested in.


And I go to YouTube almost entirely for escape. So I watch I watch pool like professional pool matches on YouTube.


Yeah. Oh I do. I watch car videos. Yeah. I watch dumb shit, I watch things that don't require that much thinking.


But then every now and then I'll watch like a lot of space documentaries. If there's one thing that I watch a lot, it's documentaries on space, things about space, space travel exploration, new things there.


I was just reading something today about NASA. They're going to change some of their wording to be more inclusive. Am I please say they're not going to get rid of black holes because if NASA decides the black holes are racist, I want to give up.


And, you know, anything's possible today. Everything is possible.


I've been into my my new thing is, of all things, Simon and Garfunkel. Oh, wow. Yeah. Those harmonies and stuff in in. But I'm a huge yacht rock guy.


Before you before Yacht Rock was a thing I didn't know that was a genre, an official genre. But like yacht rock. Yeah. Oh.


So this is a new phrase for you too. Yes. Is it. Yeah. Oh well then I don't feel this.


There's a there's an actual channel on Sirius XM for you know.


Yes. What does that mean.


So Yacht Rock is like the well that the Eagles. The Eagles.


Boz Scaggs goes to Al Stewart's Year of the Cat.


OK, leave this. The term yacht rock does not exist contemporaneously with the music term describes, huh?


With the music the term describes from about 1975 nineteen eighty four. It refers to adult oriented rock or West Coast Sound, which became identified with Yacht Rock in 2005 when the term was coined in a JD Reisner at Arles online video series of the same name. So one guy came up with the name.


So who are the bands of Yacht Rock? Let's see what this is. Michael McDonald. Sure.


Tennesee Cross I.


I'm a big yacht rock fan. Kitty Lokodo. Steely Dan. Yes. I love my I love Steely Dan.


They're my favorite band. So Yacht Rock is like, oh, the another dude's another thing I'm into is Donald Fagan talking music theory. Mm. Is really, really amazing. Talking about core progressions and stuff.


Oh I don't. Do you play. I wish I did.


I played. I know. Five chords on a guitar.


Oh I don't know one. I don't know anything. Yeah I know. Like five open cause I can't when I get to Backwords my little fingers were too weak and I had to move on.


I think music is one of those things when I'm, I'm scared to learn because if I start getting into it I'll be obsessed and then I'll lose all the time that I have.


Then you're going to start a band. You'll be like, you know, you'll be. Like every actor there, I wonder who has the best actor band, like, I want to see Jared Leto write his role for sure, 100 percent.


That's a legit I was in a teen magazine with him. Were you in like nineteen ninety three, I think. Wow.


Yeah. The Bacon Brothers, they're great. And Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon's band, right. That's right. He's great. You know, he's legit. Juliette Lewis. Juliette Lewis can sing her fucking ass off. Bill Burr told me about her. He calls you up. He goes, dude. He goes, Let me tell you something. She's a fuckin rock star. He goes, a legit rock star might come on. And then he sent me a video.


I was like, holy fuck. I've always been a huge fan of hers.


She's a beast. So she pours it out. Man, she there she is.


But she look at what she's wearing. Evel Knievel. Yes. She's a good Snake River Canyon. She's got on her.


And I've talked about doing a podcast, but we never really got to do it. I love her. I don't know at all. Love her, though.


She's a fucking amazing actress. Man her in Cape Fear. Oh, yeah.


Dude, that's a movie you couldn't make to make that movie today.


No chance. Yup. No chance. When she sucked on Robert De Niro Thum in a play house, she sat in a some in a child's play house.


She was like, what, 15 at the time. So yeah. Oh God. Yeah, he couldn't do that today. There's so many films you couldn't do today. That movie's great.


How about when smokes that cigar in the car. He was terrifying.


Such an actor. Oh my God. He's amazing. He's a beast. But what was the other thing?


I was the one with Woody Harrelson when there were serial killers.


Yeah. Yeah, the with no thank you.


Yeah. God damn. She was good in that. Oh so good.


Yeah. Yeah. Oliver as Oliver Stone isn't it. Yep. That's Oliver Stone. Yeah.


I got to meet him, did a podcast with him a couple of weeks ago. He's Oh I saw it, he's, he's great. He is an interesting cat.


He's an interesting we did there was a minute where he was going to make the Noriega Manuel Noriega story.


It was going to be Al Pacino was going to play Noriega and I was going to play Oliver North Lo. And it never happened. The script was good, but not great.


And we did a big table reading of it at Oliver's place.


And Oliver is known to be really tough on actors and I'd never worked with them. But so we take a break halfway through and I go to the waterfront and Oliver's at the waterfront and I go, What do you think?


How's it going? I don't know. What do you mean you're not? I guess I don't know, Rob. I just was just a little surprised. Woody Meaningless. I just thought you'd have a little more energy turned away and walked away.


So when we came back, the next line I had how I was doing it like this with so much motherfucking energy. It was unbelievable and just kind of like laugh and smile.


Oh, talking to him was so fascinating because he's one of the few guys that's made films about combat who's actually experienced real combat and, you know, talking about his experiences in Vietnam and then coming back home and making Platoon and how difficult it was to make Platoon and what a fucking masterpiece it was.


People forget Salvador is great.


My God, Jim Belushi. Yeah.


People forget how good Jimmy Baluchis, insolvent press Midnight Express.


I made some fucking movie.


Alan Parker, who directed it, died this week, you know. Oh, did he? Yeah, he's one of my favorite directors. Did Pink Floyd, The Wall, Bugsy Malone.




And and don't it's so weird because you wrote so many great movies like Scarface. He wrote great movies and produced and directed.


He did so much man, so much JFK.


He's such a an iconoclast. I mean, they would I don't know if a guy like him. Could make it through the corporation. Well, also the way party, too. Oh, believe me, I was doing a movie called Masquerade in New York City when they were making Wall Street. And we would always be like our set would be like three blocks from their set. And Charlie and I, of course, grew up together. And it would be it was just it was Michael Douglas.


No, boy, those days could be so dark days. The darkness, it was accepted.


Yeah. What was a part of the culture. Right? 100 percent part of it. It's what you did.


We did. Isn't it weird now that that's so demonized?


You're not doing it. Any of it. Yeah. Any of it. And look, it's obviously for the better. It's definitely for the better for the victims. But is it for the better for the creators. I don't know.


Here's my thing. I really believe that the notion that getting high makes you a better artist or gives you better access into your art I think is bullshit.


I do. You might be right, but you might not be right.


I know there's some art that's made by people that are fucked up. That's insane.


But you so much Stephen King's writings when he was when he was Franka up when he's drinkin the shining. Yeah. Shining Kujo Kerry. I think I think it was Kujawa Kerry. He doesn't even remember writing. He was so fucked up just doing coke and drinking cases of beer.


Look, the Beatles, you know, and their acid phase. I mean, Hendrix, you're not going to you can't you can't deny it. I think that you just don't they would have made something else. It would have been different. But I think it would have been maybe is good.


I don't think it's a I think people who treat it as a prerequisite.


I think that's a mistake. I agree. I agree with that. All I know brilliant people that are completely sober.


So I 100 percent agree. But I don't think you can deny the impact that some drugs have on some creativity for sure.


It's yeah. I mean, you know what would you know what if Crosby, Stills and Nash never smoked dope? What the Grateful Dead never smoked dope or did acid or did acid?


Maybe the music would be good. Sorry, I'm with you.


I don't I don't get it.


There's a lot of people that love the dead. What about fish? Isn't fish like it's basically the same band, right?


I don't know. To me, I don't have that gene. There's a white person, Gene, that I don't possess the fish gene.


Yeah, this is like dirty feet, Gene. We just want to go. Don't, don't don't dance around in a field with your friends where you wear beads.


Now, I have a cousin who followed the dead. She followed the dead all over the country. She, like, lived with the dead in terms of like the fans, like sold. They made food and sold it to people that would go to the to the concerts. They'd like scrambled eggs and shit. I don't know if you ever go to Burning Man.


No, we only desire maybe maybe now that you can wear a mask in Hartford, people.


I don't it's a it's an excuse to take drugs and kind of be sexually provocative. Right. Am I missing something?


There's definitely that. I think there's also like this freedom of this alternative civilization that they develop in this wasteland. You know, I have friends that love it and they love their people, by the way, who are really like you go really, really successful people.


I know a lot of the tech dorks. They love it. Yeah.


I just feel like it's a lot of dust. I've genius friends. It love it. Love dust on a dirtiness. Yeah, I'm good. I mean, people like you have to go.


I'm like I don't know if I do wear the other things that people tell you you have to do that you don't want to like. Do you want to like it's like you have to go to India. It's so moving. I don't know. Is it. I would be getting sick already.


I feel like my stomach hurts now. Yeah.


I could feel the diarrhea brewing before I get on the plane. I mean, I don't know.


I mean, I've heard people say India is amazing and I've heard people say they wanted to leave the moment they got off the plane.


I know people who've done both. Yeah. Yeah, I want to go to Egypt. I would really like to see the pyramids. Me too. I'm desperate to do that whole thing, but I want to go with someone. I want to find the person who is the expert on all of it.


I had the expert who just died now, John Anthony West, and he and I had talked a couple times about even getting together with a group of my friends and going over there. And he was going to guide us.


He's a he's what you would determine you would. He's a guy that inspired a lot of Graham Hancock's work and collaborated together on some stuff. That's why I know the name.


Yeah, he's he was just amazing. That's my that's my dream trip.


Yeah, 100 percent. It's a mindfuck, I'm sure.


I mean, I have the closest I've been is teacher needs. I've seen the Mayan pyramids and that was a mindfuck. Have you been to Machu Picchu?


No, I haven't. So I went two years ago and I thought it would be like that great scene in National Lampoon's Vacation when Chevy chases the Grand Canyon, regards his. OK, and Leaf's joining me like I thought that was great, I'm done. I really thought that's what it would be. And it was it was fucking amazing.


Yeah, amazing. It's pretty crazy.


First of all, you have to walk there. You you can take a train to the base of it and then walk up. And by the way, people say, oh, I walked it sometimes alternate walking from the train. Yeah. You got to take the Inca trail. We didn't do the four day version. That's too much is no reason to do it. But we did like the eight hour and it it makes all the difference.


Look at this place. And we caught up with that type of weather to God damn.


It's beautiful. It's and they don't really understand the civilization that built that. No. And what you realize when you get there is there's two civilizations. There's that. And then there are parts of that that are even older that look completely different, completely over. Like any idiot can tell that that's from a different time.


Yeah, that's one of the things that Graham Hancock talks about, is that there's a bunch of these spots like there where archeologists have sort of determined that, well, this is what happened.


And then upon further examination, other people said, but wait, I don't I don't know if this is right and I don't know why they did this.


Like, you see these people you see even in that photo we're looking at, you see the kind of looks like little stone brick area, which is like 80 percent of what we're seeing. That's really what it looks like.


But then you get in there and there's other areas that look nothing like it with that crazy right angle, seemless stones that you see all over the rest of the world.


You know that this was clearly built on top of I mean, you just it obviously was.


Yeah, well, that's the that's the ark to go see that wall. Mm hmm.


That those that's the arch. It's different than the wall over there. Totally different.


Look at the steps. Jesus Christ. With those green covered steps with those. Where were the crops were that that's where they grew the crops.


God, it's fucking great. You think you worry about going all the way there and being like, I slept all the way there for this. It's totally rewarding. On the other side of that, I went to the Galapagos and that was I would recommend just go to Catalina.


Really? Really. Yeah. Really? Yeah. It's fucking Catalina. Dude is a really? Yes, it's an island. It's the Channel Island.


Well, they call the Channel Islands, the Galapagos of North America. Do they. They do for good reason. When you go to the Galapagos, you're like, I'm sorry, this is San Miguel Island off of Santa Barbara.


It's hilarious.


But if you're into the blue footed booby, you've got to go. You're one of those guys.


And if and if you want to, like, swim with those gnarly lizards that are under, like, gigantic mike monitor lizard that are underwater, like when you're snorkeling, you're not getting that Catalina, right.


You got to go to go out. There are those fuckers are underwater.


How big is the swim of them? How big are they from the this table for me to you.


Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Look at the size of those fuckers. They're great.


What a weird looking creature. It's it's it's really something. Oh, my God. That part was way worth it. Oh, yeah.


That guy. And then the big obviously the Galapagos tortoises, you're only going to get there and they're, you know, they don't even know whole they're. What are those fuckers? Yeah, it's a long way to go, though. Yeah, how long did it take you to get there? It's it's a full day. It's a full day and a half of travel. Wow, there's something about going places. I mean, I'm sure that's fascinating, but there's something about going places where people lived a long time ago.


It's very eerie, like if you go to like Pompeii was weird for me because you're looking around and you realize like this is this civilization that what was it a thousand years ago or whatever? Yeah. Mount Vesuvius erupted. Yeah. That just instantaneously vanished.


I never got to Pompeii.


I know people who just had the same experience a trip because, you know, you're looking at like this like Rome is like that as well, like just being around the Vatican and seeing just the.


How much would you love to have free reign of the Vatican? Take me to that.


To the Indiana Jones vault. You know, the everything stored. What do you think they have that they don't show us the ark?


The thing I really want to be in is that, as they say, is the the Library of Alexandria. That burned, you know, in which had that had all of the oil and all the knowledge of the world. People say that a lot of it got moved out and is in the Vatican.


The Vatican is a weird place, man. I went with the guy who was a scholar.


He was a professor who he was really very great. He was a great guy. You know, is one of those professional guys you hire.


And he and I hit it off big time because we were we're out in this courtyard area and there was this giant pine cone and and I said the pine cone and he looked at me. I go, is that representative of the pineal gland? And his eyes lit up. He's like, yes. And the next thing you know, me and him are talking about drugs.


We're talking about, you know, the understanding of the pineal gland, the seat of the soul. Like that thing is supposed to represent the pineal gland. That's supposed that it's not just a pinecone. It's supposed to represent the gland in your brain that produces dimethyltryptamine. And so there's there's a lot of that weird shit in ancient Christian art like mushroom imagery and a lot of like weird stuff that you find, in fact, is a book by this guy, John Markoe Legro, who was a biblical scholar and a linguist.


And he was also one of the only people in the Dead Sea Scrolls, the translation commission, the translation group that was that was assigned to try to figure out this Dead Sea Scrolls and translate it back. That was he was an ordained minister, but he was also agnostic. It's through his studies of religion.


He's sort of decided along the way like, hey, this is all it seems like there's there's too many similarities to these things. It's not all these different cultures. And he started breaking down the animals of the languages and he came out with a book called The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross that was bought out by the Catholic Church.


And the book essentially said, the entire religion of Christianity is a giant misunderstanding.


And what it really was about was about the consumption of psychedelic mushrooms and fertility rituals, and that they had all these stories that they hid in parables and all this ancient knowledge that they hid in these tales, but that it all goes back to the consumption of psychedelic drugs. And in fact, one of the weirder connections to that was in in Israel. I mean, this is like very recently these scholars at the University of Jerusalem had determined that what Moses was talking about when he saw the burning Bush was actually the acacia bush, the acacia tree, which is rich and DMT.


And that when we're talking about the burning bush and that it was God appeared to him in the burning bush, he was probably tripping and that this was why he came down with these commandments or how to live life and how to how to govern yourself, that he was in communication with God. But what it really was most likely was him having a psychedelic experience. Wow.


That is all through ancient Christian religion.


You know, there was a guy named Jack Hare who's like one of the one of the early proponents of marijuana.


He was like a Goldwater Republican who got high with a girlfriend of his, got went through a divorce, got high with a girlfriend of his, and had this idea of like marijuana being this terrible thing. These fucking hippies are all lazy and but he meets a schoolgirl and they start smoking pot and then became a pot activist and wrote a book called The Emperor Has No Clothes. And it's all about the origins of marijuana criminalization and what it really was all about and that it actually was about industry and that the real people that started marijuana propaganda, like the like those movies like Reefer Madness, that was Harry Anslinger and William Randolph Hearst and William Randolph Hearst decided that he was going to demonize marijuana to stop the hemp industry.


That was the original reason why he did it, because the Popular Science magazine had a cover in like nineteen thirty seven or something that called hemp the new billion dollar crop.


And it was all because they had come up with a new machine called the decortication and a decortication was a new machine that allowed them to effectively process hemp fiber because before these slaves and then when slavery was outlawed and then Eli Whitney came up with the cotton gin, they switched all their clothing from hemp based clothing to cotton. And so they had done this for years. And then they had switched their paper from canvas, like original canvas, like even the Monalisa was printed on hemp.


All that stuff was hemp. Hemp is a far more durable paper and it's a far more durable cloth.


And so people's clothes like that, like old, like really durable clothing was made out of hemp.


And so William Randolph Hearst decided the best way to combat this new industry instead of turning over his gigantic forests and converting them to hemp forests and converting his paper mills to. Paper he decided he was going to do is kill the business and see the way he killed the business, was printing these stories about black people and Mexicans raping white women because they were on this new drug called marijuana. And what marijuana? The word was actually a slang for a Mexican wild tobacco didn't even have anything to do with cannabis.


So when they made marijuana illegal, Congress didn't even understand that they were making cannabis and hemp illegal. They thought it was a new drug. And so he tricked them.


He tricked them because he he earned Hearst Publications. I mean, that was one of the things that Orson Welles like when he made Rosebud.


Yeah. He made that movie. He made it Citizen Kane about William Randolph Hearst because he was this insanely powerful guy that was just as fuck as Rosebud Rudd.


I don't know. Like I don't know.


But but that movie was about William Randolph Hearst. William Randolph Hearst is the reason why marijuana is still federally illegal in 2020.


And this is the 1930s, like almost a hundred years later.


His propaganda still works that it is amazing because I. That's ever been to Hearst Castle.


That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. I was there when I was a kid. It's crazy.


He's a reason why this whole fuckin state is filled with wild pigs. That crazy asshole had wild pigs on his mansion, had him roaming around, brought wild boars over from Europe. And so California, like San Jose's, infested with wild pigs. People who live in San Jose, they go out. Wild pigs are fucking knocking over their trash and eating their lawn. That's William Randolph Hearst did that shit.


I had no idea. That's amazing.


That crazy fuck was responsible for a lot of problems that we're still facing today. I had no idea, man, I mean, I know I know it by my knowledge, as I know the yellow journalism of it all, and he's a bad guy.


He was a fucking bad guy. He had too much power.


I mean, there was there was he Hearst Publications was you know, he had this insane amount of power to just print lies and he could shift the course of public perception. To fit his own needs and to fit his businesses. Wonder if that happened today. No way, media. It would be like like fake like fake news or something.


I can't imagine. Can't do that today. People are too smart now. Could never do that today. Never happened. Yeah.


It's it's amazing when you find out the history of why things are legal and illegal and what happened and where they went wrong.


You know, it's just it's weird how long some things, like some propaganda can sink in and last for. It's crazy.


Yeah. I mean, entertainment is the ultimate form of it. Oh yeah.


The ultimate and also the ultimate form of combating it, which is what, you know, Orson Welles tried to do is Citizen Kane kind of show like and, you know, obviously didn't name the guy William Randolph Hearst, but everybody knew what it was about.


A movie is great. It's one of those movies that you hear is what's up, Jamie? I started looking something up about the pigs. And this article from the San Francisco gate says it's a different guy named George Gordon Moore who brought them in the 1920s for hunting. I'm sure he did.


But William Randolph Hearst most certainly had them at his castle. Maybe maybe some of the ones around that area came from William Randolph Hearst Castle. Maybe that's where he got them from that guy. But Hearst most certainly had them at his place. In fact, Hunter S. Thompson used to hunt William Randolph Hearst Wild Pigs, the ones that around Big Sur. Apparently, that's what people think. That's another gnarly place. That's a nice place. That's a place that also.


Did you see the fucking landslide they got? Yes. Shut down the 101 or the one I like.


I just drove the one I just drove the one two weeks ago up there. And you cannot believe how much new construction they needed to do so.


But now it's open, but was closed for like a year. Yeah, right. I mean, when you look at the construction, you go, oh, I can see why this took a year.


Did I drove up there with my family once and I was so terrified. I was like to the left is death. Yeah, it's amazing. It's crazy that you could just drive it. It's crazy.


It is one of the great it's one of the great drives. It's a cliff. You're in the edge of a cliff. And if you're on the right side and someone just decides to turn into you, you're done, you're dead.


But you're like you're like fifteen hundred feet up. Yeah. And people die there all the time.


All the time. Yeah, all the time. You fall asleep at the wheel, you're fucked. Oh yeah.


Turning around to get that selfie. It's a crazy way that someone died like that in Malibu not that long ago, like Paris Hilton's photographer or something like that. It was is a photographer on the cheap, just this guy in the Jeep? I don't remember.


But there was someone who he posted something on social media and he was dead right afterwards. And their speculation was that he was looking at his phone when he went off the side.


Yeah, I remember hearing this.


I know that there's that there were a couple turns right there in Malibu, you know. Right.


But yeah, sketchy as fuck. You're like California like that ride up to San Francisco on the PCH is fucking magnificent, though.


It's so incredible. It is. It's not magnificent. If you're in the back seat is not you will get the car sickness of a lifetime.


Yeah, there's a lot of I drove I drove a Winnebago once and you know, the famous bridge that's in every car commercial on the one. Yeah. I didn't realize that all the bikes that I had in the back were like too wide, I guess. And I just I destroyed every bike.


We had just gotten the family for Christmas and that thing, it's like you don't want I was like Clark Griswold vacation driving.


That's all I could think was not good. Yeah. People have that idea. Right.


We're going to take an RV and go across America. There's good things to that. But there's also, you know, your kids have to have a high tolerance for boredom. I remember when my family would drive me across the country, I'd have my book and Mad Libs. And that was it, that's it, that's it, yeah, you know, if anything else, I was watching a movie on my iPad was watching Belon.


Kids have a different they have a different kind of traveling now and people let them do it. I've let my kids do it just to shut them up to say, get some peace.


They wear you down. Yeah, they beat you down. There's no way you make your hair read a book.


And it's Mad Libs from here to Pocatello, Idaho. How long when are we going to be there? I have to pee. I'm hungry. Oh, brutal. You know, brutal.


But you got to kind of force them to have some boredom, like, just just so they have those experiences they like. I remember when my parents took me to Yosemite when I was a kid. And to this day I still remember those experiences.


I remember our cooler got broken into by a bear over here in the bear outside the tent and waking up and was there was footprints on the hood of the car. So good. I remember.


That's my big worry, is that. As a culture, we don't know what to do with boredom, you know, because we're never without the world at our fingertips. Yes. You know, so like I remember my mom, I have such vivid memories of my parents would never do this today.


Like, take we'd go to the market and she would leave me in the car and she would go to the market and it felt like she was gone for five days. She's probably looking back on it. She's probably gone for 20 minutes, but it felt like forever. And I'm in that car as a little boy. I can remember it vividly. And all I have is my mind and my imagination to kill the time. That's it. Yeah. And, you know, I think it's served me very well, but I don't know how many of us are getting that experience today.


Not too many. I mean, grown adults are very rarely bored these days. And I think that that leads to a real problem with like creativity and imagination and also social media anxiety and all the nonsense that comes with just reading people's anger. And there's the way we I'm on Twitter.


I don't I still a presence on it and I still use it from here to there. But I'm I'm I had a good vibe and I didn't do the thing that makes me crazy. As I say, I'm leaving Twitter every line and saying, shut the fuck up.


Exactly. Just go just go see that.


And then you check to see how people are reacting to you leaving Twitter. Yeah. Let me see what what kind of interest that post generated.


Yeah. I just and I'm way happier.


There's so many people that are just so addicted to saying something and seeing how people react to it trending.


I loved it. I love checking what's trending on Twitter so I can best know it's just in this time and age too, with Trump is just a terrible time because everyone's so angry. You go on Twitter and says people are so furious. They're just you can't have an opinion about anything. Everybody's mad if you do have an opinion, there's a million people that disagree and a million people that do agree. And they're fighting it out to the death.


Yeah, used to be that consensus building or or being in the middle of the road was accepted by the warring camps.


Right. And now that's its silence is is complicit. Yes. Yes. Yeah.


So that so that's that's really the problem. That's what there's no there's no middle anymore.


Right. People are angry at you. If you don't post an opinion that agrees with them, like you can't even have you can't even not post an opinion. They'll get mad at you. I I've heard people say, you know, hey, history will not be kind to the people that did not talk about this.


Like really like what the what you can't tell people that they have to comment on things. That's ridiculous. You're you're forcing people to express opinions that they might not have even formed.


Yeah, it's it's a it's an it's a I mean, I have these talks with my boys because they're right in the thick of it. It's a new generation, obviously, and they have a totally different perspective on it.


The growing up with it, they don't even know what it's like to have no Internet now. It's amazing. That's what's crazy, isn't it? It's crazy. I remember I remember vividly like like when it all happened. I remember like I was on the West Wing and like, all of a sudden we had went from Pager's to Blackberries.


Mm. I remember the first the first person ever showed me an iPhone was David Crosby of all people.


Oh wow. And I was like, what is that thing you've got there? And he had one of the first iPhones, I wouldn't I was a late adopter because I was like, that's bullshit. I want buttons.


I was the same. I wanted buttons. And I thought that it was somehow. An iPhone was less serious than a BlackBerry, right business person, I'm I'm a serious person. Yes, I'm not. I'm not, you know, and and then I obviously succumbed.


Everybody that I work with on Newsradio had the BlackBerry. That was the wide one that you did to finger one. Yes. You know, everyone's doing the email off of. It's very important to have a BlackBerry, various BlackBerry.


Yes. And then they were called they were called something else. In the East Coast, really? Yeah, it was like a rim rim is the company, and that's a that's one of those great. I want I would love to do an anthropological look at how they get the clock cleaned.


They had it. Oh yeah. They had it all. Had it all. Yeah. Maybe they you say that about iPhone someday. Yes.


Somebody will come up but like what. How do you how to. It's like via VHS Betamax. Yeah. It's like who, who is this.


Darwinism of the corporations is so interesting to me.


Well we remember Blockbuster Video. Oh yeah. Who would have ever thought there would be no video stores. Who'd have ever thought that? I thought it was a novelty. The idea is going to have things on a hard drive.


Look, but I know it's ridiculous. I remember the first person telling me I have my music on my computer. What do you mean? Your music on the computer? Again, I don't have any Kisoro here, but where are your kids? I don't have any, but like, it shows you why this is why we need ayahuasca, because we can't understand simple shit like that. Well, the real question is, what's next?


That's the real question. Like what?


What are we blind to that our children will remember back then when people streamed their music and streamed their music?


I have with like my dad and my dad. Have you heard my podcast? Now, where do I get them?


That my dad literally and then he finally his wife found my podcast and goes and then this is my focus. And then somebody called me, but I didn't know how to shut it off and now I can't find it again.


I'm like, Jesus, I wish my parents didn't know about my podcast.


Be awesome. Do you get do you get people? Jela can't believe you said that. Yeah, my wife listens. No, that's a problem. My wife could care less about it. That's great. It's great.


She's fucking perfect. My wife is like I like that one you did with him. Like when I say shut I now.


But that's a problem with doing podcasts is you. You it's a conversation. It's not an interview. So you forget the point is to forget. Yeah. You talk a lot of shit, talk a lot of shit. Yeah.


You get especially you get loose and then you're having fun and you talk like you would. You're basically like I don't really have a private voice in a public voice. Right. I just talk this is you and I were hanging out and there was no one around. I would have the same conversation with you 100 percent. That's the problem.


But it's the it's the problem. But that's what you that's the point. That's why people like it. That's the point. Yeah.


That's why people like podcasts would give me one piece of advice I need to know. I'm seven episodes. I made episodes in two.


Exactly. We did. Right here. Are you going to be great. You're awesome at it. You think just just talk. Yeah. You're a genuine person.


You're honest, genuine person. That's what resonates with people. It's like someone expressing their real feelings and thoughts about stuff, right?


Yeah, that's that's what we're missing.


You know what's missing in overproduced stuff that executives and a team of people come up with that you're missing the real the thing that resonates with people like you can. There's a lot of podcasts that I love that are produced like Radiolab or wondering. I love wondering. I love the stuff they put out. And it's very produced. But it's different. It's different between what people people listen to us right now that probably feel like they're in the room.


They're having this conversation, too, like they're agreeing or they're disagreeing or they're yelling, shut the fuck up while they're driving. You know, that's that's that's what the appeal is, is that it's not in this is a small crew of people that produces this is basically Jamie and myself and the video editors. I mean, that's it does no one else. So because of that, it's not it's not fucked with. And I know a lot of people that have podcasts on networks, you know, and then they have to they have meetings, you have fuckin meetings, and they tell me the nightmare meetings they have where people like, well, they tune out when you say this and they do this, like, here's the stats.


You can't talk about that because if you do. Oh, my God, no.




Like, you look at that stuff, but you can't look at that stuff. How do you know if it's not good? I fucking hate everything I do. I know if it's not good because I don't like it. So then I just do better. Just you don't want to like be looking at the stats, OK, it's going to fuck you up.


That's really good. That's a good piece of advice. Don't just do it.


You're doing great. You're great at this. You're a natural. Oh thanks.


I will say that I'm having the fucking time of my life. You go perfect. I'm having so much fun doing it.


That alone will make it great.


Yeah, I thought it was something that I think it was a natural offshoot from the two memoirs I wrote, and then I built a one man show off of it, which is really a way of me doing standup without calling it stand up, really, you know, and I did a lot of touring and it was fun and I loved it. And I was thinking, what's the next iteration of it?


And was the subject of the one man show. It was called Stories I Only Tell My Friends Live, which is the title of my first book, but it was me talking about my life. That was it. And and by the way, the Oscar thing that we talked about is a bit that's the big closer.


That's the big closer.


Every do you play it for people? I play. I play it for people and I go into it just it becomes a very long shaggy dog story and people love it.


And then I do questions and and and I realized that, you know, there are a lot of actors or a lot of actors that are better than me.


And you try to find out what your special sauce is like. What why?


What is it that that I think maybe I can do that. Maybe others can't. And I think between the books and the one man show and the podcast, I think that there's something about sharing my my experience. In and then bringing other people into it that people have responded to in in now three different mediums.


Mm. That's then you've got it being yourself and just being able to express your own unique perspective on life is what's interesting to people, you know, like if you can honestly express.


So like when people listen to particular, if they listen to you over and over and over again for long periods of time, they know if you're full of shit or if you're just being yourself and if you're just being yourself, they can kind of relax with you. They can get into you. They can. And then you tell them about things that you're interested in and tell them tell them about things that stimulated you, made you curious or affected you and inspired you.


You know, Springstein says a great thing. He says the audience expects to things of you. They expect you to make them feel at home. At the same time, you're surprising them. Two, let's end with that. That's perfect. Rob Lowe, I appreciate the Fucka, this was great. Thank you very much. I really enjoyed this man. I really enjoyed it. Tell people the name of your podcast, how to get it.


It's called Literally with Rob Lowe. And you can get it on Apple or Stitcher or Spotify or anywhere you get your podcasts.


That was really fun. Thank you very much. Thank you. Goodbye, people. Thank you, friends, for tuning in to the show. And thank you to athletic greens. Get your nutritional shit together with athletic greens. They deliver it straight to your door. It tastes great. It's super high quality and they're going to hook you up whether you're in the US, Canada, Australia, Europe or the UK. Jump over to athletic greens, dotcom slash Rogan and claim this special offer today and receive the free D three K to wellness bundle with your first purchase.


That's up to a one year supply of vitamin D as an added value. When you try, they're delicious and comprehensive daily. All in one drink. You'd be hard pressed to find a more comprehensive nutritional bundle anywhere on the planet Earth. Again, that's athletic.


Greens Dotcom Rogan were also brought to you by Blue Moon and their spectacular brew, their spectacular beer that's distinctive and full flavored with refreshing notes unlike any other. And you can get it delivered. How about that folks? Visit, get dot blue moon beer to see what your delivery options are. And in some areas, local delivery is available in one to three hours. So next time you need a taste of the extraordinary open up a blue moon and get blue moon delivered by visiting, get dot blue moon beer dotcom and see your delivery options.


Blue Moon, reach for the moon. Celebrate Responsibly. Blue Moon Brewing Company Golden Colorado Ale.


We're also brought to you by manscape keeping your balls fresh and trimmed and not all nicked up and fucked up like a regular razor. We'll do it. Manscape is the way to do it in their lawnmower. 3.0 is the most technologically advanced ball trimmer. I don't even know if there is another ball trimmer out there. It's the fucking best though. If there's another one, it sucks. Compared to the lawnmower, you can get twenty percent off plus free shipping at manscape dotcom.


Rogan, do yourself a favor and always use the right tools for the job again. Get twenty percent off and free shipping at manscape dotcom Rogan that's twenty percent off with free shipping at manscape dotcom. Rogan make playing with your balls the best part of your day. Thanks manscape and thank you. Thank you for tuning in. All of you people listening to this right now. Nothing but love for all of you and a big kiss.